So I have a friend (23F) that has struggled with mental health for a while. About a month ago her boyfriend broke up with her which compounded her mental health issues and she ended up getting herself admitted to a mental hospital for about a week. Once she was out she matched with someone (27M) while she was visiting a different city. They talked for about two weeks before he bought her plane tickets and a hotel room in Las Vegas as he says he is moving from the city where they matched to Las Vegas. She also has a very open social media page where she has made clear that she is struggling mentally at the moment. She also does Only Fans to make money. Most of her close friends have told her that it seems like a dangerous trip to go on, but she is set on going. I am considering informing her parents of the situation or maybe her aunt. This would undoubtedly cause her to cut me out of her life which I’m okay with if it comes down to it. Essentially I believe that there are other ways to meet this (27M) bumble match in a safe way that does not involve flying across the county to meet someone for the first time. Essentially I’m afraid she is about to be potentially sex trafficked.
I feel like the nuclear option for me would be to inform her family, but would that be an overstep? I don’t feel like I could live with the guilt of something horrific happened on her trip to meet this person. Am I over reacting here?
Additional context (23F) has had multiple abusive relationships in the past. She has been using drugs (cocaine, percocets, weed, whippets) most of the day, everyday since she was released from the mental hospital) (23F) and (27M) have been texting throughout the days since they matched, and have started FaceTiming frequently as well, sometimes for hours at a time. (23F)’s parents pay her bills. The OF money is essentially for personal use. Her father is fairly abusive based on what she has told me. She has a good relationship with her mother and aunt.
Considering that context, I don’t believe that she would be able to truly get a read on if this (27M) is dangerous or not in her current mental state. And I don’t believe there is anyway for her to guarantee her safety in this situation. On top of that, if she did get weird vibes she would feel more obligated to ignore them as she would be dependent on (27M) for her flight home and her hotel room. Which he said he has his own place, but figured she would feel more comfortable in a hotel room so he booked her a room for a week.
I’m I overreacting about the situation? Additionally, as a friend of maybe 5 years, would it be a gross overstep to inform her family? After all she is an adult at this point.

Seems like ReddX enjoyed the last story he narrated, and people here seem to want more... Far be it from me to deny you that all-too-enticing hit of cringe, so we'll get after is again today. Before we do though, I'd like to invite you into my head. It might help explain my reaction (or lack of one) to the previous dating nightmare. I was young, I was raised by alcoholic parents, and I was taught that speaking up about anything only brings trouble.
I don't need pity, I've been to therapy and moved past it for the most part, it's simply to shed some light on why I remained so passive through these events. Truth be told, this series of strange and awful dates slowly helped to bring me out of the shell that I'd built for myself, so it was all happening for a reason I guess... but we aren't there quite yet.
Dean was the worst date, but he wasn't the first date that I subjected to myself from Tinder. No, that honor belongs to Ben the Bellybutton Boy. Cast lists are unnecessary, TLDR is at the end. Let's get the cringe-train rolling.
Ben's profile wasn't very intricate. A single line about wanting something meaningful, which doesn't hold much water for me anymore... but I was 18 and naïve. Some might say that I was also fairly shallow. In one picture he was drinking a Natty Ice, in another he had on a backwards hat. I was close to swiping left on yet another bro-dude and carrying on... But then I got one look at Ben with his shirt off and I was hooked.
It might be a catfish, but for a body like that? I was more than willing to take my shot. Suffice to say, that he was a gorgeous human being. I should've been looking more than skin deep though, because Ben had some deep dark secrets. He did match with me though, and I was super flattered. We had a meandering conversation. I learned that he loves his mom, and is absolutely terrified of horror movies. Those things will come into play later. He didn't seem to have much to say that was interesting or clever, but I let it all slide. Ben's abs were blinders, a 3 pack on each side.
He seemed to push for a meetup rather fast, which usually made me go ghost in the few Tinder conversations I'd had before... But I thought to myself that now I was finally ready for an actual date with an internet stranger. Maybe he was way more interesting in person. (He was interesting, but not in the way that I'd hoped.) The fact that his body was chiseled from granite-turned-flesh had nothing to do with my decision. Again, isn't it funny the lies that we tell ourselves?
Ben wanted me to come over to his place and stupidly, I agreed to do so. We'd only been talking for about a week, and now I was going to deliver myself to his front door? Walk right into the wolf-den and hope for the best? God... I swear, I'd love to shake the living shit out of my past-self... but I truly didn't know better at the time. Maybe we would actually watch some Netflix and chill? Could he actually be looking for something meaningful?
Ben's place was in a lower-middle-class section of the LA outskirts. At the time, I thought it looked pretty busted but compared to some of my later encounters? It wasn't the worst house. Sort of non-descript and uninteresting, but well-maintained... much like Ben himself, I suppose. I scoped it out for a few minutes. Surfboards on the porch, a few potted plants, a bench-seat out front. It seemed very normal, so I collected myself, headed up to the front door, and knocked.
Ben answered and he was all smiles. He lifted my arm above my head and I gave him a little twirl. After a wolf-whistle, he commented that he'd like to see something that showed a bit more of my midriff. He gestured for me to show my stomach to him, and I did. I didn't mind. I put work into it. A strong body starts with a strong core. Ben seemed satisfied. Maybe a bit more than that in hindsight. His eyes devoured me, but he was a hunk. So I didn't mind. His predatory nature would soon be revealed to me, but I had no idea what I was in for quite yet. Instead, I let him scoop me up into a hug before he invited me inside.
The house was sort of bohemian. Lots of incense holders and dreamcatchers. Definitely not the sort of thing I'd pick, but he was a stoner-surfer bro-dude. Maybe all of this stuff was just evidence of a more sensitive side to him? I asked about some of the knick-knacks, just trying to initiate idle conversation and maybe dig past the surface level. It worked a bit. He ended up telling me about spending time in India. He seemed to harbor a lot of disdain for the country. Said people were shitting all in the streets and he couldn't find clean water anywhere. "It's like Mexico with way more poop and a few less beheadings."
I laughed. The line wasn't that funny, but the laugh also served to diffuse some of the tense atmosphere that had been created after endless jabs about everything from the caste system to the "dirty" street food and everything in between. He didn't overly-focus on a lack of attention from women, but it was mentioned. I made a mental note. Ben definitely had some entitlement issues, and with that rage simmering below the surface? It could be an explosive combination. I made a note to mind my P's and Q's and shifted the subject, asking what he had planned for Netflix.
He led me to the couch without answering and handed me the remote. "I'll leave that up to you. I've gotta finish preparing the feast." There had been a couple of red-flags so far, but nothing that would make me go screaming into the night. At least, not yet. I hit 'surprise me' on Netflix, and Ben came back into the room with a platter covered in fish. They were sardines. Even before my seafood surprise from part 1, I wasn't a huge fan of fish. Ben saw the look on my face and presumed that he should explain his dining choices. I really wish that he hadn't.
"I try to eat sardines and pineapple almost exclusively because I'm load-maxxing." he said with a nod.
I thought it was a weight-lifting term, and I just sort of nodded right back... but my face must've still look quizzical because he continued.
"You know how some male porn stars can shoot like the biggest loads of jizz? I think that's super hot, and I wanna be able to do that... But also have it taste good too. Not that I'm gay or anything, I don't eat my own cum like some [redacted] but I just think it's super sexy when a girl is enjoying herself. I'm also taking selenium supplements too and it's totally working. I can fill up a whole shot glass now. Before I started load-maxxing it was just like, this sad little poot of semen... But now I'm shooting ropes of the stuff! I might show you later, if you're lucky."
I frowned and shook my head, but I don't think he took much notice of it as he went to work obliterating those smelly, oily little fishies. I didn't speak up, but like any sane person... I knew at this point that I was wrong about my assessment aaand it was time to make my escape. However, due to the constraints of the social contract that we've all unwillingly signed, I'd need to bide my time and find the proper strategy. I definitely didn't want to have this jizzed up meathead explode in my face, if you'll excuse the pun. You don't just declare war, y'know? You prime the press, you square things with the UN, you make up your reasons.
The 'surprise me' movie that I can't remember rolled on, and he offered me the fish-plate. I politely declined. My brain was occupied with the perfect exit, and hunger is a decent motivator. When you combine that with the unpredictable meatball that I was seated next to? I should've been launching off that couch like a rocket. Truth be told? I should've just blitzed the front door and not bothered to explain myself. He might get upset, but I'd be safe in the car... But then I wouldn't have this story to share.
Eventually, the sardines all went to meet poopoo-Jesus and he leaned back on the couch. He snaked his hand onto my shoulder and pulled me backwards. I wasn't in the mood to cuddle so I'd scoot away, then he'd inch closer. I hated every second of this awkward little dance, but the strangeness got turned up to 11 when I hit the edge of the couch... And he started running his oily unwashed fish-fingers around my bellybutton. I squirmed away and stood up. I told him that this was all getting to be a little bit too much, too soon... but Bellybutton Boy wasn't about to let me escape that easily.
He stood up in that same moment and blocked the walkway to the front door. He asked me to please sit back down while at the same time 'guiding' me by the shoulders. He was far too forceful for my liking. It was a gentle pull into his arm, a gentle push back into the couch... But this was our first date. I've seen things like this before between my own parents. This toolbox is one bad argument away from throwing a cinderblock at the back of my head. I took a deep breath and used my go-to tactic of avoiding conflict at that time: submission.
As I sat back onto the couch, he dropped to his knees. I was expecting the worst to happen, but instead he started to baby-talk me... Which is still pretty fucking bad.
"Does wittle Dawnie want to see baby Ben's tongue? I can wick your wittle bewwybutton. Then maybe we can go pway wiff somefing ewse. My woad is about to expwode..."
I still wonder if he meant for it to rhyme. It was effective, in a way. I still remember those words many years later. The thousand-yard stare, I had adopted as my defense, started to gaze through time and space. Trying to find any reality that wasn't this one. Just because my body was stuck there, didn't mean that my brain had to be... So I disconnected as much as possible, but even Terri Schiavo would take notice of the horror that would befall me next.
I suppose baby Ben the bellybutton bully boy took my silence and disaffected staring at the ceiling as consent, because he lifted my shirt enough to expose my bellybutton. The first this he did was give it a really deep sniff before letting out a satisfied "ohhhh yeahhhh". Was he looking for a good scent? A bad one? Was he just THAT excited to unveil the mysterious allure of a teenage navel? The debate rages on until this very day. It doesn't matter much, because he didn't stop at smelling it.
His tongue slipped into that umbilical scar and started to explore. I never wanted this. I didn't consent at any point, but I didn't outright say "NO" either. I've unpacked this experience with multiple therapists. I think what I remember most vividly was looking down and seeing his oily fish lips. They were sucking on my stomach like my navel was the last source of oxygen on the planet. I recall seeing his tongue, covered in the desiccated and masticated remains of a sardine meal, fishing around for whatever the hell it was he wanted. He kept muttering to himself between spelunking expeditions, weird shit like "ooo baby wike your bewwy" and "mama make benny's peepee so hawd".
The cringe-meter was redlining, and I finally realized that he wasn't going to stop unless I made him stop. I told him that I had to pee, and that he should PLEASE drink some water. I was hoping it might wash away some of the sardine leftovers, if I really did need to come back. At this point, my plan was to bail out the bathroom window. Until I got to the bathroom and saw that the window was only about 6 inches tall. Just enough to air out sardine-and-selenium-laden ploppers, but not enough to do me any good.
I must've stood in that bathroom for 20 minutes or so. There was no escape. If I wanted out, I'd need to go through. Just as a reminder from the universe, every once in a while I'd hear Ben let out a large belch. At least he was washing his fishy mouth out. I steeled myself and headed back into the living room. I lied that I had a text from my mom and had to leave, but Ben wrapped his arms around me and begged to finish our date. I could clearly smell beer on his breath. Memories of dear old dad must've kicked in, because I found myself agreeing to sit on the couch again.
He continued rubbing his stale-beer-smelling mouth all over my stomach, except this time there was the added benefit of pauses to burp every so often. "Isn't dat so funny? Doesn't dat sound wike a echo mama?" I truly did want to die in that moment. I had to find some way to at least pump the brakes, if not bail out completely. I squirmed away from him, again. I told him this was moving too fast, again. He didn't ignore me this time. So I suggested that we watch a new movie. This time I chose a Chucky movie. Either he would get scared and give me an out, or I'd pretend to be scared and make the exit for myself.
If I knew how he'd actually react, I might not have taken this measure. The moment the movie started, Ben was immobilized. He had stopped trying to molest my bellybutton. All he did was apply a nervous death-grip the arm of the sofa. I asked if he was OK, but he insisted he was fine. He was not fine however, and after the first onscreen murder I looked over to see tears rolling down his cheeks.
This was my moment. It was either act like a cold-hard bitch, or continue being assaulted. I asked incredulously, "ARE YOU CRYING??" He nodded and started his whining baby-talk, but he didn't follow me as I leapt from the couch, called him a sissy, and flung the front door open. I quickly walked to my car. My brain had second thoughts, but I turned the key in the ignition. I legitimately wanted things to work with Ben. I would've been mommy. Whatever. But he didn't ask for consent at any point and was overly-pushy about everything he wanted.
While I felt bad about doing that to Ben, and piling an unneeded insult on top of it... I felt much more delight than despair. This situation was headed for a place that I didn't want it to go, and I was able to scratch and claw my way back to freedom. The bellybutton boy had unveiled his Achilles heel as a silly talking point, and I thanked my lucky stars that I was able to use that to my advantage. He could've flown into a rage over it, but he didn't. The guardian angel on my shoulder was working overtime on that day, I have no doubts about that. Looking back, should I have called the cops and reported him? Probably. Instead, I just thanked my lucky stars and tried to move past it in my own way...
You'd think that would be the end of this tale, but there was a follow-up to the bad date. Remember when I mentioned that Ben was close to his mother? Well, she charged into battle in defense of her little bellybutton man... I answered the first time she called. I wouldn't make that mistake again. She accused me of abusing her special boy, she threatened me with everything from death to lawsuits, she slung every curse under the sun at me. After 5 minutes, I realized I was trying to talk sense into a lunatic and blocked her number.
Bellybutton matriarch wasn't done yet though... I would get sporadic VOIP calls for weeks afterwards. She contacted my job to report me. She attempted to harass MY mom and every other contact she could find. I suppose that's the unfortunate part of social media. I explained to everyone what had happened and they all agreed that she was completely unhinged. Luckily, it seemed like her harassment was confined to the internet. I went dark for a month, and I guess she found a new target. Ben wouldn't have trouble getting more dates, even if he was a certified navel-gazer.
It was at this point that I swore off of Tinder for the first time. That wouldn't stop me from meeting up with maniacs though. My therapist says that I demonstrate a concerning amount of thrill-seeking behavior, and that these encounters are a manifestation of that. While I don't disagree 100%, I still think I overanalyze and avoid uncertainty in a lot of other areas of my life. Maybe the comments will let me know how they feel about that diagnosis?
Speaking of therapy... In hindsight, I can absolutely see how that insane woman could've produced a self-absorbed, baby-talking dunderhead. If you look at it through that frame? Then the tale of Ben the bellybutton boy takes on a much more depressing tone. He's like a modern-day Frankenstein... but he does still bear some responsibility for his actions. At least, that's what I tell myself when I start feeling guilty.
I did manage to stay off Tinder for a while, but in our next installment we are headed to Craigslist for a real treat. Be afraid. Those are tales for another day though... Thanks to ReddX if he reads this. Please subscribe to him on YouTube if ya haven't. I'll see you again next time my little Tinderlings.
-Dawn
TL;DR Lunatic lugnut baby-talks my bellybutton with his fish-lips.

Ultramega OK: Smokestack Lightning
Louder Than Love: Big Dumb Sex
Badmotorfinger: Jesus Christ Pose
Superunknown: Let Me Drown
Down on the Upside: Burden In My Hand
King Animal: Been Away Too Long
Temple of the Dog: Call Me a Dog
Audioslave: Shadow on the Sun
Out of Exile: #1 Zero
Revelations: Wide Awake
Euphoria Morning: Wave Goodbye
Carry On: Billie Jean
Scream: Two Drink Minimum
Higher Truth: Nearly Forgot My Broken Heart
No One Sings Like You Anymore: Showdown

“Love yourself” has become a well-intentioned, but generic & hollow platitude. Let’s explore 10 practical applications so you know how to do it.

1. Connect with Your Creativity.
2. Connect with Nature.
3. Connect with Your Body.
4. Connect with Your Negative Emotions.
5. Connect with Source & Your Higher Self.
6. Change How You Approach Everyday Life.
7. “How Can I Make This More Fun?”
8. Self-Reflect.
9. Give Love Languages to Yourself.
10. Build Simple Habits: 1% Better & 2-Minute Rule.

​
Self-love is caring about how you feel, and focusing more on thoughts that feel better (and less on thoughts that feel worse). Focus more on what you want, and less on what you don’t want. Self-hate is disconnection; self-love is creating connection. So loving yourself is integrating parts of you that have been ignored.
Also note the Self-Love Paradox: To truly love yourself, you are okay with those times when you don’t. You have compassion for when you don’t take care of yourself.
​
1. Connect with Your Creativity.
You have unique energy that needs to be expressed. E.g. dancing, singing, writing, drawing, painting, video making, etc. Experiment with different creative outlets until you find one(s) you resonate with.
​
2. Connect with Nature.
Your body came from Earth, so you’re literally connecting with your roots. E.g. go for a walk, hiking, go to the beach, walk barefoot in dirt, buy or interact with plants, listen to nature sounds, etc.
​
3. Connect with Your Body.
“What do you need today? You support me a lot, so how may I serve and support you?” E.g. drink plenty of water, deep breathing, grounding work and felt sense, better quality sleep, healthier diet, hug yourself, put your hand on your heart, pay more attention to your five senses, and move your body (e.g. dancing, exercise, stretching, etc.).
​
4. Connect with Your Negative Emotions.
Be friends with negative emotions and work together as a team. “I know you’re here to support and empower me, and I want to understand your emotional text messages.”
​
5. Connect with Source & Your Higher Self.
Meditate. “What’s important for me to know right now? What should I be focusing on? How do you feel about me?”
​
6. Change How You Approach Everyday Life.

• Write, brush, or use scissors with your non-dominant hand.
• Play an instrument with your feet.
• I flipped the keyboard and typed this upside down (it took 2 minutes to write one sentence lol).

​
7. “How Can I Make This More Fun?”
With any mundane activity, ask yourself, “How can I make this more fun? How can I add more play, today?”

• When eating with a fork or spoon, fly it around like an airplane first before taking a bite.
• Throw vitamins in the air and try to catch it with your mouth.
• Hop to the bathroom like a frog (but don’t do it if you have to poo haha).

For 6 & 7, opening up new neural pathways of how to do everyday activities causes you to be more present, and turn off auto-pilot mode. Change up how you view the world, and you will start having more curiosity, satisfaction & appreciation for it.
​
8. Self-Reflect.
After an unwanted experience, ask yourself:

• “What does this teach me about myself? Who do I want to be moving forward?”
• “How will this help me care for myself with more warmth and understanding?”
• “What do I know more clearly now about what I want in a partner and relationships?”

​
9. Give Love Languages to Yourself.
Give yourself quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and/or gifts.
​
10. Build Simple Habits: 1% Better & 2-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits by James Clear).
Loving yourself is learning how to run. Liking yourself is learning how to walk. Take one step at a time, get 1% better at liking yourself each day, and you will naturally build up towards loving yourself.
When you make habits that are simple and easy, you're more likely to stick with them. And when you see progress, you build more trust in yourself to follow through in what you care about. And when you consistently show up for yourself, you begin cultivating self-love. So everyday, ask yourself, “How can I get 1% better at this?” Or, “I’ll do whatever I can in 2 minutes to work towards my goal.”
With appreciation, BFree
​
Please share in the comments: What does loving yourself look like for you? And what are you going to start doing to like yourself 1% more today?
​
Previous Posts
1. Why You Judge Yourself
2. Changing Limiting Beliefs Is Easy
3. Be Friends with Negative Thoughts & Emotions
.

“Love yourself” has become a well-intentioned, but generic & hollow platitude. Let’s explore 10 practical applications so you know how to do it.

1. Connect with Your Creativity.
2. Connect with Nature.
3. Connect with Your Body.
4. Connect with Your Negative Emotions.
5. Connect with Source & Your Higher Self.
6. Change How You Approach Everyday Life.
7. “How Can I Make This More Fun?”
8. Self-Reflect.
9. Give Love Languages to Yourself.
10. Build Simple Habits: 1% Better & 2-Minute Rule.

​
Self-love is caring about how you feel, and focusing more on thoughts that feel better (and less on thoughts that feel worse). Focus more on what you want, and less on what you don’t want. Self-hate is disconnection; self-love is creating connection. So loving yourself is integrating parts of you that have been ignored.
Also note the Self-Love Paradox: To truly love yourself, you are okay with those times when you don’t. You have compassion for when you don’t take care of yourself.
​
1. Connect with Your Creativity.
You have unique energy that needs to be expressed. E.g. dancing, singing, writing, drawing, painting, video making, etc. Experiment with different creative outlets until you find one(s) you resonate with.
​
2. Connect with Nature.
Your body came from Earth, so you’re literally connecting with your roots. E.g. go for a walk, hiking, go to the beach, walk barefoot in dirt, buy or interact with plants, listen to nature sounds, etc.
​
3. Connect with Your Body.
“What do you need today? You support me a lot, so how may I serve and support you?” E.g. drink plenty of water, deep breathing, grounding work and felt sense, better quality sleep, healthier diet, hug yourself, put your hand on your heart, pay more attention to your five senses, and move your body (e.g. dancing, exercise, stretching, etc.).
​
4. Connect with Your Negative Emotions.
Be friends with negative emotions and work together as a team. “I know you’re here to support and empower me, and I want to understand your emotional text messages.”
​
5. Connect with Source & Your Higher Self.
Meditate. “What’s important for me to know right now? What should I be focusing on? How do you feel about me?”
​
6. Change How You Approach Everyday Life.

• Write, brush, or use scissors with your non-dominant hand.
• Play an instrument with your feet.
• I flipped the keyboard and typed this upside down (it took 2 minutes to write one sentence lol).

​
7. “How Can I Make This More Fun?”
With any mundane activity, ask yourself, “How can I make this more fun? How can I add more play, today?”

• When eating with a fork or spoon, fly it around like an airplane first before taking a bite.
• Throw vitamins in the air and try to catch it with your mouth.
• Hop to the bathroom like a frog (but don’t do it if you have to poo haha)

For 6 & 7, opening up new neural pathways of how to do everyday activities causes you to be more present, and turn off auto-pilot mode. Change up how you view the world, and you will start having more curiosity, satisfaction & appreciation for it.
​
8. Self-Reflect.
After an unwanted experience, ask yourself:

• “What does this teach me about myself? Who do I want to be moving forward?”
• “How will this help me care for myself with more warmth and understanding?”
• “What do I know more clearly now about what I want in a partner and relationships?”

​
9. Give Love Languages to Yourself.
Give yourself quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and/or gifts.
​
10. Build Simple Habits: 1% Better & 2-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits by James Clear).
Loving yourself is learning how to run. Liking yourself is learning how to walk. Take one step at a time, get 1% better at liking yourself each day, and you will naturally build up towards loving yourself.
When you make habits that are simple and easy, you're more likely to stick with them. And when you see progress, you build more trust in yourself to follow through in what you care about. And when you consistently show up for yourself, you begin cultivating self-love. So everyday, ask yourself, “How can I get 1% better at this?” Or, “I’ll do whatever I can in 2 minutes to work towards my goal.”
With appreciation, BFree
​
Please share in the comments: What does loving yourself look like for you? And what are you going to start doing to like yourself 1% more today?
​
Previous Posts
1. Why You Judge Yourself
2. Changing Limiting Beliefs Is Easy
3. Be Friends with Negative Thoughts & Emotions
.

Since 1989, Lazar has achieved public notoriety as an Area 51 conspiracy theorist.[d] In May of that year, he appeared in an interview with investigative reporter George Knapp on Las Vegas TV station KLAS, under the pseudonym "Dennis" and with his face hidden, to discuss his purported employment at "S-4", a subsidiary facility he claimed exists near the Nellis Air Force Base installation known as Area 51. He claims that the said facility was adjacent to Papoose Lake, which is located south of the main Area 51 facility at Groom Lake. He claimed the site consisted of concealed aircraft hangars built into a mountainside. Lazar said that his job was to help with the reverse engineering of one of nine flying saucers, which he alleged were extraterrestrial in origin. He claims one of the flying saucers, the one he coined the "Sport Model", was manufactured out of a metallic substance similar in appearance and touch to liquid titanium. In a subsequent interview that November, Lazar appeared unmasked and under his own name, where he claimed that his job interview for work at the facility was contractor EG&G and his employer was the United States Navy. EG&G stated it had no records on him.[34][e] His supposed employment at a Nellis Air Force Base subsidiary has also been discredited by skeptics, as well as by the United States Air Force.[4][35]
Lazar has claimed that the propulsion of the studied vehicle ran on an antimatter reactor[36] and was fueled by the chemical element with atomic number 115 (E115), which at the time was provisionally named ununpentium and had not yet been artificially created.[4][37] (It was first synthesized in 2003 and later named moscovium.)[38] He said that the propulsion system relied on a stable isotope of E115, which allegedly generates a gravity wave that allowed the vehicle to fly and to evade visual detection by bending light around it.[39]
No stable isotopes of moscovium have yet been synthesized. All have proven extremely radioactive, decaying in a few hundred milliseconds.[40] Lazar said the craft was dismantled, and the reactor he studied was topped by a sphere or semi-sphere which emitted a force field capable of repulsing human flesh.[41] He explained that the craft was split into two main levels.[f]
The reactor was positioned at the center of the upper level, with an antenna extending to the top,[g] surrounded by three "gravity amplifiers". These connected to "gravity emitters" on the lower level, which can rotate 180 degrees to output a "gravity beam or anti-gravity wave" and that the craft would then travel "belly first" into this distortion field.[42]
Lazar has claimed that during his joining the program, he read briefing documents describing the historical involvement of Earth for the past 10,000 years with extraterrestrial beings described as grey aliens from a planet orbiting the twin binary star system Zeta Reticuli. As of September 2019, no extrasolar planets have been found in the Zeta Reticuli system.[43][44] In 1989, Lazar said the seats of the saucer he saw were approximately child-sized and that he had seen alien cadavers of a corresponding size.[45][46]
He said that while walking down a hallway at S-4, he briefly glanced through a door window and saw what he interpreted as two men in lab coats facing down and talking to "something small with long arms".[47] Three decades later, he said he did not think he saw an alien, but speculated that he saw a doll used as reference for the size of the alleged aliens, and that a nickname used for them was "the kids".[47]

Expansion if done Properly could fix many issues in the NBA. 1. The largest issue facing the NBA is Regular season games are not as intense as they should be. There are too many games for any single game to matter until the end of the season. 2. Divisions don’t matter, what is the point of having divisions if they are irrelevant? 3. Conference imbalance, with teams only playing teams in the opposite conference 2 times it leads to teams occasionally being much worse than their record. With expansion there will be changes to the NBA scheduling, divisions and possibly even changes to the conference’s as a whole.
I chose Seattle and Las Vegas because they are likely teams that work geographically. Adding two teams on the western part of the country means the most likely situation is the two teams that are currently in the west will be moved to the east. I chose Memphis and New Orleans. I also adjusted divisions to help with travel. The new divisions are
The North East: Boston New York Brooklyn Philadelphia
The Gulf: Miami Orlando Atlanta New Orleans
The Great Lakes: Chicago Detroit Cleveland Toronto
The central: Charlotte Washington Memphis Indianapolis
The South West: Lakers Clippers Phoenix Las Vegas
North West: Golden State Sacramento Portland Seattle
South central: Dallas Houston San Antonio Oklahoma City
North central: Milwaukee Minnesota Denver Salt Lake City.
Each team would play the teams in its division 5 times. For a total of 15 games.
Teams would play two other divisions in their conference and 2 other divisions in the opposite conference for 3 games. For a total of 48 games.
Teams would then play teams 1 games against any team they had not played against. For a total of 10 games.
That would reduce the season down to 73 games while also adding two new teams. The real kicker goes to the playoffs. To be a top 4 seed, teams must win their division. The highest win total among division winners will set the top 4 seeds and the bottom 4 will be by record alone. Forcing division records to matter will create rivalries due to playing extra games against each other and those games being more important. This also will weed out teams that dominate bad teams and are so-so against good ones. The lower number of games will be better for the health of the league and the extra games from the new teams will offset the cost of the shorter season.
What changes would you like to see to scheduling, divisions, expansion teams that would help the NBA?

Hi Everyone, I’m a makeup lover majorly downsizing and would love these items to go to those that will get good use out of them.
Mods said I can send you links to my eBay feedback via PM so please feel free to ask if you'd like this. :)
· All my items are from a pet and smoke free home, are well looked after and have been stored in a cool dark place (drawers in my bedroom) and are now stored in a box, ready for posting.
· All products are full size unless otherwise stated.
· Items vary between swatched to lightly used unless otherwise stated. Batch codes available upon request.
· Dispatch within 3 working days of cleared payment via PayPal Goods and Services – I cover the fees.
· If I still have the original outer box (I often keep boxes) for any of the products, this will be included.
· Prices listed are for the product alone and do not include the shipping charge.
· All items sent within the UK will be sent 2nd Class Signed For (£4.69 for a small parcel and £3.55 if I can send as a large letter in a padded envelope). All items will be well packaged to protect them.
· If you would like multiple items and the total is over £50 this would need to be sent Next Day by 1pm for £10.
· If you are an international buyer, please state your location and I’ll get back to you with a quote for the shipping charge but please expect this to be £15-25 as I send all packages tracked with the correct insurance.
· Any questions, just send let me know and I’ll get back to you asap.
Will offer further discount if you take 3 or more items off my hands!
Thanks for looking!
Chanel:
Chanel Baume Essentia in Transparent £23.00 https://imgur.com/jDbxNMZ
Hourglass:
Ambient Lighting blush in Diffused Heat £23 https://imgur.com/nPjS31R
Ambient Strobe Lighting Blush in Euphoric Fusion £30.00 https://imgur.com/URQTSIh
Ambient Strobe Lighting Blush in Brilliant Nude £30.00 https://imgur.com/ml1Xvpt
Charlotte Tilbury:
Cheek To Chic Swish & Pop Blusher in The Climax £21.00 https://imgur.com/dw62cfE
The Super Nudes Easy Eyeshadow Palette £35.00 https://imgur.com/P1TBsL6
Instant Look In A Palette in Gorgeous, Glowing Beauty £38.00 https://imgur.com/tTFcOpI
Unisex Healthy Glow All-Year Hydrating Summer Tint Moisturiser £28.00 https://imgur.com/1Ixdp8s
Luxury Eyeshadow Palette in The Glamour Muse £28.00 https://imgur.com/UMdXoV4
Beach Stick Lip to Cheek in Las Salinas £25.00 https://imgur.com/lAtlIDo
Colour Chameleon in Champagne Diamonds – Barely used but nib seems to be more inside (never sharpened) so will need sharpening. £10.00 https://imgur.com/WAL7cwb
Eyes to Mesmerise in Veruschka £20 https://imgur.com/PN360SQ
Eyes to Mesmerise in Star Gold £18 https://imgur.com/yc9VBkj
Bar Of Gold Palette £35 https://imgur.com/mNdnVAv
Glowing, Pretty Skin Palette £35 https://imgur.com/RgjH84L
X Norma Parkinson Filmstar Bronze & Glow Sun Tan & Sun Light £30 https://imgur.com/LI0kzWS
X Norma Parkinson Colour of Youth Healthy, Happy Lip & Cheek Glow £25 https://imgur.com/fGh5lqO
Bronze & Blush Glow £35 https://imgur.com/FaXu1xu
Instant Look in a Palette in Stoned Rose Beauty £35.00 https://imgur.com/dcULfQL
Luxury Palette in Green Lights £28 https://imgur.com/X7417qS
Luxury Palette in Pillow Talk £28 https://imgur.com/w9y1X33
Luxury Palette of Pops in Celestial Eyes £30 https://imgur.com/X38I9P8
Luxury Palette of Pops in Pillow Talk £30 https://imgur.com/1a6Y8By
Luxury Palette in The Vintage Vamp £28.00 https://imgur.com/dBak99Y
Cheek to Chic Swish & Pop Blusher in Love Is The Drug £21 https://imgur.com/0xnTZBq
Laura Mercier:
Laura Mercier Matte Radiance Baked Powder Bronzer in Bronze-03 £23.00 https://imgur.com/X76ixeD
Laura Mercier Lip Pencil in Chestnut £14.00 https://imgur.com/qtnXzxB
Face Illuminator in Affection £28.00 https://imgur.com/yJ7PX0d
Face Illuminator in Devotion £25.00 https://imgur.com/HUQqd47
Laura Mercier Amaretto Swirl £12.00 https://imgur.com/PwQHTub
Laura Mercier Vibe £12.00 https://imgur.com/ANiNiXc
Caviar Stick Eye Colour in Burnished Bronze £16.00 https://imgur.com/Sq39EtY
Caviar Stick Eye Colour in Metallic Taupe £16.00 https://imgur.com/bpjlQmR
Tom Ford:
Emotionproof Eye Color in Casino £25 https://imgur.com/h4OUNMv
Emotionproof Eye Color in Brut Rose £25 https://imgur.com/BHL2fSh
Eye Color Quad in 13 Orchid Haze £45 https://imgur.com/v7628qH
Eye Color Quad in 01 Golden Mink £45 https://imgur.com/Hf41wBa
Private Shadow in 01 Body Double Vinyl £20 https://imgur.com/SxtG047
Private Shadow in 04 Iris Bronze Sateen £20.00 https://imgur.com/OwFUCuV
Sheer Cheek Duo in 05 Lissome (Used once but please note this is damaged: the two shades fall out of the pans if tipped upside down – they would need to be glued down if you plan on taking this out and about.) £30 https://imgur.com/KUsUk3e
Dior:
Diorshow mono in 658 Cosmopolite £18 https://imgur.com/6WzBh6V
Bobbi Brown:
Ulla Johnson Eye Palette in Minou £25.00 https://imgur.com/VZVqyYw
Lorac:
Unzipped Eyeshadow Palette £30.00 https://imgur.com/XFM0tFb
Benefit:
Dandelion Twinkle (mini 1.5g) £6.00 https://imgur.com/riLhNaY
By Terry:
Compact-Expert Dual Powder in 7. Sun Desire £30 https://imgur.com/Z0Cq1pp
Viseart:
Theory in Cashmere £30 https://imgur.com/QFiFgtg
Marc Jacobs:
Eye-Conic Eyeshadow Palette in Steel(etto) £35: https://imgur.com/sv3K75r
Spotlight Glow Stick £25 https://imgur.com/4lkDJ5f
Le Marc Lip Crème in 228 Infamous £10 https://imgur.com/DdU2Iy7
Burberry:
Nude Radiance No.01 Fresh Glow Luminous Fluid Base £25 https://imgur.com/JrzwAYN
Fresh Glow Highlighter in White No.01 £25 https://imgur.com/AItL9Dt
NARS:
Blush in Torrid £18.00 https://imgur.com/TQSEaPk
Blush in Liberte £18.00 https://imgur.com/diO7MlV
Cruising lipstick £8.00 https://imgur.com/6L9egoG
Rosecliff lipstick £8.00 (please be aware this one seems to smudge on the side in the tube when rolled up – see pic) https://imgur.com/xWyvOfm
Riot lip pencil £8.00 https://imgur.com/fM6ojlm
Skin Deep Palette £35 https://imgur.com/SnncRIp
Blush in Amour £18 https://imgur.com/5QaOSZK
Audacious Anna £8.00 https://imgur.com/AY8dmi3
Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Red Square £8.00 https://imgur.com/f4H6L01
Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Rebel £8.00 https://imgur.com/dU3PzJ1
Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Dragon Girl £8.00 https://imgur.com/56EfMMV
Man Ray The Veil Cheek Palette £25 https://imgur.com/1MeDyj7
Paloma Contour Duo £23.00 https://imgur.com/G31JEaO
Hammamet Eyeshadow Duo £15 https://imgur.com/qyVtVCE
Isolde Eyeshadow Duo £15 https://imgur.com/yICbjTc
Natasha Denona:
Camel Palette £30 https://imgur.com/nKP0eyc
Glam Palette £50.00 https://imgur.com/Zh7SBa5
Guerlain:
Terracotta Limited Edition Bronzer £35.00 https://imgur.com/JgC1P43
Terracotta Sun Trio Bronzing and Contouring Palette in Clair – Light £30.00 https://imgur.com/wcrk5vo
Too Faced:
Natural Love Ultimate Neutral Eyeshadow Collection Limited Edition £50.00 https://imgur.com/XZedaEe
Too Faced Natural Eyes £30: https://imgur.com/c4MCJsI
Born This Way The Natural Nudes £25 https://imgur.com/Nm1r4bE
Milk Chocolate Soleil Light?medium Matte Bronzer £18 https://imgur.com/jvX26dG
Too Faced Mini Love Flush 16-Hour Blush in Crazy in Love 2g £4.00 https://imgur.com/9tvRigE
Too Faced Mini Love Flush 16-Hour Blush in Dream Lover 2g £4.00 https://imgur.com/8q4smuT
MAC:
MAC Mineralize Blush in Naturally Flawless £18.00 https://imgur.com/1PcLxf2
Single eyeshadow in Satin Taupe £10.00 https://imgur.com/DohGoWC
Nutcracker Sweet Peach Face Compact Tutu (highlighter) and At Dusk (blush) £25.00 https://imgur.com/uw8vOOu
Lip Pencil in Subculture £8.00 https://imgur.com/B2eJjgi
Dusky Rose Times Nine £18 https://imgur.com/WZqEBPL
Satin Lipstick in Faux £10 https://imgur.com/zrvLb3K
​
Satin Lipstick in Brave £10 https://imgur.com/WrbOnCy
Liptensity in Driftwood £12 https://imgur.com/AmTyk9N
Veluxe Pearl Eyeshadow in All That Glitters £10 https://imgur.com/tkYEVQL
Veluxe Pearl Eyeshadow in Woodwinked £10 https://imgur.com/6Ju1Xca
Nutcracker Sweet Copper Face Compact in Whisper of Gilt and Pleasure Model £25.00 https://imgur.com/p6bkpes
Clinique:
01 Hefty Highlight £10 https://imgur.com/DugNJOH
Buxom:
Buxom May Contain Nudity £25 https://imgur.com/IgZymun
Tarte:
Tartelette Tease (please note this arrived with one shade damaged) £10 https://imgur.com/cAf77dN
Tarteist Pro To Go £18 https://imgur.com/qmOGt4W
Mermaid Kisses Mini Lipstick in Sandals £4 https://imgur.com/BKwpJjo
Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush in Dazzled £20 https://imgur.com/TRJZW5i
Maneater Eyeshadow Palette £12 https://imgur.com/MdqOZjg
Amazon clay eye & cheek palette, be your own tarteist £23 https://imgur.com/LoT74Va
Amazon clay eye & cheek palette, miracles of the Amazon £23 https://imgur.com/pMRQ81B
Mini Amazonian Clay Matte Waterproof Bronzer in Hotel Heiress 2.2g £5.00 https://imgur.com/jncXcvm
Becca
Mineral Blush in Flowerchild £28.00 https://imgur.com/I3xk5PF
Lipstick in Sugar £12.00 https://imgur.com/4cP6zfl
​
Shimmering Skin Perfector Pressed Champagne Pop £18 https://imgur.com/hg81MeW
Ombre Nudes Eyeshadow Palette: £22 https://imgur.com/1o7zfx9
Kevyn Aucoin
The Pure Powder Glow Blush in Dolline £10 https://imgur.com/r4zdXM5
It Cosmetics:
Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream in Fair (mini 4ml) £6 https://imgur.com/qFkaQMy
Morphe:
35O Palette £12.00 https://imgur.com/aXHkX8U
Milani:
Milani Naturally Chic £3.00 https://imgur.com/sm4sehq
Everyday Eyes Collection 02 Bare Necessities £3 **(**Please note one shade arrived shattered when I received it). https://imgur.com/8rHsj0P
Colour Statement Moisture Matte Lipstick in 61 Naked £3 https://imgur.com/rzfOruY
Zoeva:
Zoeva Naturally Yours Eyeshadow Palette £13.00 https://imgur.com/xRBNMKf
Caramel Melange Eyeshadow Palette £13.00 https://imgur.com/39Zivoq
Cocoa Blend Eyeshadow Palette £13.00 https://imgur.com/5ibgQGn
Violet Voss:
Holy Grail Palette £22.00 https://imgur.com/FkfWVnf
Urban Decay:
Naked 3 Eyeshadow Palette £30.00 https://imgur.com/XujVYyU
Single Eyeshadow in Diamond Dog £20.00 https://imgur.com/T2XoEwv
Afterglow 8-Hour Powder Blush in Fetish £16.00 https://imgur.com/cEamNe2
Afterglow 8-Hour Powder Blush in Score £16.00 https://imgur.com/WatD1SF
Lipstick in Naked £6.00 https://imgur.com/jugqlFX
​
24/7 Glide-On Lip Pencil in 69 £4.00 – Please note this is barely used but sharpens unstably https://imgur.com/7VgaIuo
Naked Heat Eyeshadow Palette £28.00 https://imgur.com/bflPEFr
​
Afterglow 8-Hour Powder Blush in Rapture £16 https://imgur.com/Vqfj5dy
Lancome:
Star Bronzer in 03 Naturel Bronze £15 https://imgur.com/CXUH1ye
Elizabeth Arden:
Eyeshadow Palette £12.00 https://imgur.com/ZlqeALh
Eyeshadow Palette Browns £12.00 https://imgur.com/f2fvWKZ
Blush and Highlighter Trio £15.00 https://imgur.com/fJ25kAQ
Elizabeth Arden Melon £8.00 https://imgur.com/fI0VFDL
Elizabeth Arden Pink Pucker £8.00 https://imgur.com/FRm9nz0
​
Elizabeth Arden Bold Red £8.00 https://imgur.com/hx0lbG2
Ted Baker:
Eyeshadow Trio £3.00 https://imgur.com/6c67YFh
New Look:
Pure Colour Eyeshadow Palette in 29 Brown Pattern £3 https://imgur.com/yFPr4us
Sleek:
Blush in Antique £3 https://imgur.com/gEMPmYh
​
Maybelline:
Colorsenational Lip Liner in 140 Intense Pink £2.00 https://imgur.com/ZBRigDS
​
GOSH:
Smokey Eyes Palette in 02 Brown £3.00 https://imgur.com/pNrm7ig
​
BareMinerals:
Complexion Rescue in Vanilla 02 £20.00 https://imgur.com/tqDLuhH
​
Kat Von D:
Kat Von D Shade and Light Eye Contour Palette £35.00 https://imgur.com/RbIdW83

This list is purely based on who is better RIGHT NOW. Which WRs would you take first in a fantasy draft (think madden) for multiple seasons.
This is not based on past seasons and accomplishments!! This is just my opinion. Everyone has one! Let the games begin...
*Rookies Excluded due to never playing a down in the league, therefore I feel I can’t compare them to established vets fairly*
Starting High to Low:

1. Tyreek Hill - Miami Dolphins
2. Justin Jefferson - Minnesota Vikings
3. Davante Adams - Las Vegas Raiders
4. Stefon Diggs - Buffalo Bills
5. Ceedee Lamb - Dallas Cowboys
6. AJ Brown - Philadelphia Eagles
7. Jamarr Chase - Cincinnati Bengals
8. DK Metcalf - Seattle Seahawks
9. Mike Evans - Tampa Bay Buccaneers
10. Cooper Kupp - Los Angeles Rams
11. Chris Godwin - Tampa Bay Buccaneers
12. Amon-Ra St. Brown - Detroit Lions
13. Jaylen Waddle - Miami Dolphins
14. Terry McLaurin - Washington Commanders
15. DJ Moore - Chicago Bears
16. Keenan Allen - Los Angeles Chargers
17. Garrett Wilson - New York Jets
18. Tee Higgins - Cincinnati Bengals
19. Deebo Samuel - San Francisco 49ers
20. Drake London - Atlanta Falcons
21. Diontae Johnson - Pittsburgh Steelers
22. Michael Pittman - Indianapolis Colts
23. Mike Williams - Los Angeles Chargers
24. Chris Olave - New Orleans Saints
25. Christian Kirk - Jacksonville Jaguars
26. DeVonta Smith - Philadelphia Eagles
27. DeAndre Hopkins - Free Agent
28. Amari Cooper - Cleveland Browns
29. Tyler Boyd - Cincinnati Bengals
30. Isiah Hodgins - New York Giants
31. George Pickens - Pittsburgh Steelers
32. Tyler Lockett - Seattle Seahawks
33. Zay Jones - Jacksonville Jaguars
34. Adam Thielen - Minnesota Vikings
35. JuJu Smith-Schuster - New England Patriots
36. Courtland Sutton - Denver Broncos
37. Allen Robinson - Pittsburgh Steelers
38. Christian Watson - Green Bay Packers
39. Brandin Cooks - Dallas Cowboys
40. Darnell Mooney - Chicago Bears
41. Jakobi Meyers - Las Vegas Raiders
42. Brandon Aiyuk - San Francisco 49ers
43. Darius Slayton - New York Giants
44. Jahan Dotson - Washington Commanders
45. DJ Chark - Carolina Panthers
46. Corey Davis - New York Jets
47. Michael Gallup - Dallas Cowboys
48. KJ Osborn - Minnesota Vikings
49. Marquise Brown - Arizona Cardinals
50. Gabe Davis - Buffalo Bills

The fate of Riboku is one of the greatest tragedies in the chronicles of the Shiji. He died defending his nation not because he was defeated in battle but because Riboku was betrayed by the king he served for many years. The death of Riboku is a massive conspiracy in itself. It was plotted by multiple men of great talent all hired just to kill the undefeated general of Ganmon.
Before I continue, I want to give a shoutout to u/Arturo-Plateado. Arturo-Plateado is the best researcher in this subreddit, and I pale in comparison to them. In fact, when I was making this post, I found out they already did a similar post 2 years back, which you can read right here. I even added an excerpt from the Lienüzhuan because of their post.
https://www.reddit.com/Kingdom/comments/mqsz4x/the_fall_of_zhao_kou_hi_analysis/
With that being said, the purpose of this post is different from his post in that I want to analyze and emphasize the evidence given to us by four historical accounts Not only that, but I also want to point out contradictions that lie in the accounts of Riboku’s death.
Because fun fact: the Shiji states that Riboku gets beheaded by a Zhao agent, however, the Zhan Guo Ce states that Riboku commits suicide by thrusting a sword into his mouth. There are three notable masterminds behind Riboku's death in these four accounts, all of which results in Riboku's death.
We are going to find a lot of contradictions behind Riboku's death.
Now we shall begin the essay.

Riboku's Death in the Shiji

趙王遷七年，秦使王翦攻趙，趙使李牧、司馬尚御之。秦多與趙王寵臣郭開金，為反閒，言李牧、司馬尚欲反。趙王乃使趙蔥及齊將顏聚代李牧。李牧不受命，趙使人微捕得李牧，斬之。廢司馬尚。後三月，王翦因急擊趙，大破殺趙蔥，虜趙王遷及其將顏聚，遂滅趙。
(Shiji: Chapter 81: Biographies of Lian Po and Lin Xiangru)
Translations by Professor William H. Nienhauser, Jr:
In the 7th year of Sen, King of Zhao, Qin sent Ou Sen to attack Zhao. Zhao sent Ri Boku and Shi Ba Shou to resist him. Qin bribed the King of Zhao's trusted vassal Kaku Kai with cash to act as a subversive agent, and suggest that Ri Boku and Shi Ba Shou wanted to rebel.
The King of Zhao sent Chou Kotsu and the Qi general Kan Shu to re­place Ri Boku. Ri Boku refused to accept the orders. Zhao sent a man to secretly arrest Ri Boku, and when he was captured, beheaded him, and stripped Shi Ba Shou of his post.
Three months after, Ou Sen launched a furious attack against Zhao, killed Chou Kotsu, crushed his army, and captured Sen, King of Zhao and his general Kan Shu, fi­nally destroying Zhao.

This is the excerpt that most readers are familiar with. For context, Ousen leads an invasion alongside Yotanwa, Shin, and Kyoukai under his wing. Riboku and Shibashou defend Zhao. Many are familiar with Ousen plotting Riboku's death with false accusations of rebellion, which is definitely recorded in history. However, let me point something out.

Qin bribed the King of Zhao's trusted vassal Kaku Kai with cash to act as a subversive agent, and suggest that Ri Boku and Shi Ba Shou wanted to rebel.

Sima Qian does not directly credit Ousen for bribing Kaku Kai in Shiji. In fact, it just mentions Qin sending bribes, implying it was a group conspiracy. That's because Ousen's involvement is only in the Zhan Guo Ce and is not at all mentioned in the Shiji. With that being said, Ousen being involved in Riboku's death isn't necessarily contradictory to the Shiji. However, other accounts of the Zhan Guo Ce and the Lienüzhuan credit different masterminds.
If I can give my own thoughts, I hypnotize that the explanation behind Sima Qian's excerpt of Riboku's death was either his execution was the manipulation of many court officials and generals. Or the truth behind his death is lost in history, and Sima Qian had no clue who is the true mastermind, so he could only just add the facts.

Ousen's Involvement

秦使王翦攻趙，趙使李牧、司馬尚御之。李牧數破走秦軍，殺秦將桓齮。王翦惡之，乃多與趙王寵臣郭開等金，使為反間，曰：「李牧、司馬尚欲與秦反趙，以多取封於秦。」趙王疑之，使趙蔥及顏為代將，斬李牧，廢司馬尚。後三月，王翦因急擊，大破趙，殺趙軍，虜趙王遷及其將顏為，遂滅趙。
(Zhan Guo Ce: Strategies of Qin: Chapter 291)
Translations by Professor J. I. Crump, Jr.:
Qin dispatched Ou Sen to attack Zhao and Zhao employed Ri Boku and Shi Ba Shou to resist her. Several times Ri Boku broke and routed the Qin troops and even killed the Qin general Kan Ki. Ou Sen hated Ri Boku and used much gold to bribe the king of Zhao’s favourite ministers, Kaku Kai and others. Then he used them to subvert Zhao. They told the king that Ri Boku and Shi Ba Shou planned to turn against Zhao with Qin’s help, for they had been promised large fiefs if they did so.
The king of Zhao grew suspicious of his two generals and sent Chou Kotsu and Kan Shu to relieve them of their commands. He then executed Ri Boku and cast out Shi Ba Shou. Three months later Ou Sen took advantage of Zhao's crisis to smash her. He killed Chou Kotsu and captured King Sen and his general Kan Shu. Thereafter Zhao was destroyed.

As said here, Ousen is the mastermind behind Riboku's death. A lot of the information matches the excerpt mentioned in Chapter 81 of the Shiji. In fact, Hara even quotes a line from this exact excerpt when Kanki died, so he knows the existence of Ousen's involvement. This will most likely appear in Kingdom as it further emphasize their legendary rivalry.
In any case, we have covered the known parts of the conspiracy. Now let's explore the more obscure parts

Dun Ruo's Involvement

乃資萬金，使東又放假、魏，入其將相。碑游於燕、趙，而殺李牧。
(Zhan Guo Ce: Strategies of Qin: Chapter 111)
Translations by Professor J. I. Crump, Jr.:
He (Ei Sei) furnished him with the sum asked and sent him east to Han and Wei. Dunzi dispatched generals and ministers to Qin and then went north to Yan and Zhao where he caused Zhao to murder its general Ri Boku.

I'll give context to this excerpt. This comes from a story in the Zhan Guo Ce about a persuader named Dun Ruo who helps aid in Qin's conquest of Unification. He offers his services to Ei Sei by promising to ally with Wei and Han. Dan Ruo achieves his goal and sent generals and ministers from Han and Wei to join Qin. Then after he was done with Wei and Han. It was mentioned that he went to Zhao to cause the death of Riboku, implying he was the mastermind behind his death.
I personally don't think Dun Ruo will appear in Kingdom. Though if he does, he'll likely be a minor character. In any case, if he does get added to Kingdom, it should emphasize the desperation and lengths that Qin is willing to go to in order to kill Riboku. Not only is the military genius Ousen involved but also they needed another genius whose skills lie in the political realm.

The Details of Riboku's Suicide and Contradictions?

韓倉果惡之，王使人代。武安君至，使韓倉數之曰：「將軍戰勝，王觴將軍，將軍為壽於前而捍匕首，當死。」武安君曰：「繓病鉤，身大臂短，不能及地，起居不敬，恐懼死罪於前，故使工人為木材以接手。上若不信，繓請以出示。」出之袖中，以示韓倉，狀如振捆，纏之以布。「願公入明知。」韓倉曰：「受命於王，賜將軍死，不赦。臣不敢言。」武安君北面再拜賜死，縮劍將自誅，乃曰：「人臣不得自殺宮中。」遇司空馬門，趣甚疾，出棘門也。右舉劍將自誅，臂短不能及，銜劍徵之於柱以自刺。武安君死。五月趙亡。
(Zhan Guo Ce: Strategies of Zhao: Chapter 290)
Translations by Professor J. I. Crump, Jr.:
Han Cang did indeed slander Lord Buan (Riboku) and the king had him replaced by another. When Lord Buan reached court the king made Han Cang enumerate his crimes:
'When you had gained your victory, the king had you before him to drink a cup in your honour. While you wished long life to the ruler you were concealing a dagger, and for this you are to be executed.'
'I, cuo, am afflicted with a crooked arm', said Lord Buan. 'Being tall, I cannot reach the ground with it, so my kneeling and rising seem disrespectful, and I have always feared I might give some offence while in the Presence. For this reason I got an artisan to make me a wooden arm which I can fasten to my hand. If you don't believe me, let me show it to you.' He drew it from his sleeve and showed it to Han Cang. Its shape was that of a chen-k'un and it was bound around with cloth.
'I wish you would go in to his majesty and make this clear to him', concluded Ri Boku.
'I received orders from the king', replied Han Cang, 'saying you were to be executed. There was to be no pardon. I would not dare speak of it again.'
Lord Buan knelt facing the north and acknowledged the king's generosity in granting him death by his own hand. He drew forth his sword and was about to kill himself when he suddenly cried, 'A minister should not commit suicide in the palace of his king', and rushed through the Sima Gate and outside the Departure Gate. He grasped his sword in his right hand and prepared to stab himself but found his crooked arm would not allow him to. He then thrust the sword into his mouth, dashed against a pillar and killed himself. Five months after Lord Buan died, Zhao perished.

Riboku has an interesting depiction in this account, and I really hope Hara takes inspiration from this. To summarize, a man named Han Cang accuses Riboku of concealing a dagger before the Zhao King. When it came time for Riboku to receive his punishment, he explains his innocence by revealing that the "concealed dagger" was actually some sort of tool bound to his wooden arm (Riboku gets a prosthetic later?).
Despite his explanation, the king of Zhao had given his order and there will be no pardon. And so, the king of Zhao gives Riboku the option to commit suicide. He runs outside the palace to thrust the sword into his mouth killing him.
First off, let's point out the many contradictions in this story. The Shiji states that Riboku gets beheaded due to slanders of a possible rebellion and this account states that Riboku kills himself as punishment for concealing a dagger. Also, the Shiji states that Zhao is annexed 3 months after his death, but this account says 5 months. This story of his suicide is inconsistent with the Shiji, and the account itself won't likely be added to Kingdom. (Unless there's a Riboku body double)
However, some details could still be added. The Zhao official Han Cang could be added as one of Kakukai's vassals. Riboku's death could change from decapitation to suicide for a more dignified death.
There's one detail that I hope Hara will add and that is Riboku's wooden arm. This account states that Riboku gained this wooden arm to give respect to his king.
I want to believe that this wooden arm is the result of his battle injuries, and I do believe that Hara will add this detail because this same account mentions Riboku being tall (I may be stretching this, but I'm certain that kingdom Riboku is tall compared to other characters.)

Zhao Queen Mother's Involvement

倡后者，邯鄲之倡，趙悼襄王之后也。前日而亂一宗之族。既寡，悼襄王以其美而取之。李牧諫曰：「不可。女之不正，國家所以覆而不安也。此女亂一宗，大王不畏乎？」王曰：「亂與不亂，在寡人為政。」遂娶之。初，悼襄王后生子嘉為太子。倡后既入為姬，生子遷。倡后既嬖幸於王，陰譖后及太子於王，使人犯太子而陷之於罪，王遂廢嘉而立遷，黜后而立倡姬為后。及悼襄王薨，遷立，是為幽閔王。倡后淫佚不正，通於春平君，多受秦賂，而使王誅其良將武安君李牧。其後秦兵徑入，莫能距遷，遂見虜於秦，趙亡。大夫怨倡后之譖太子及殺李牧，乃殺倡后而滅其家，共立嘉於代，七年，不能勝秦，趙遂滅為郡。《詩》云：「人而無禮，不死胡俟？」此之謂也。頌曰：趙悼倡后，貪叨無足，隳廢后適，執詐不愨，淫亂春平，窮意所欲，受賂亡趙，身死滅國。
(Lienüzhuan: The Songstress Queen of king Dao of Zhao)
Translations by Professor Anne Behnke Kinney:
The Songstress Queen was a singer from Kantan and the queen of King Tou Jou of Zhao. At an earlier time, she had brought disorder to an entire clan. When she became widowed, King Toujou was struck by her beauty and married her. Ri Boku remonstrated with him, saying, “This won’t do. A woman’s impropriety is the means by which state and family are turned upside down and made unstable. This woman has brought disorder to her clan. Shouldn’t Your Majesty be alarmed?” The king said, “Whether there is disorder or not depends on how I govern.” He then proceeded to marry her.
Earlier, King Tou Jou’s queen had given birth to a son named Ka who became heir apparent. After the Songstress Queen entered the court at the rank of consort, she gave birth to a son named Sen. The Songstress Queen then became a great favorite of the king and secretly slandered the queen and the heir apparent to the king. She also arranged for someone to offend the heir apparent and thus provoke him into committing a crime. The king thereupon dismissed Ka and set up Sen in his place, and deposed the queen and established the songstress as queen. When King Tou Jou died, Sen was enthroned as King Yuu Boku.
The Songstress Queen was dissolute and immoral. She developed an illicit connection with the Lord of Shun Pei Kun and frequently received bribes from Qin. She made the king execute his great general, the Lord of Buan, Ri Boku. Afterward, when Qin troops marched in, no one could stop them. Sen was then taken prisoner by Qin, and Zhao was destroyed. The grandees, resentful that the Songstress Queen had slandered the heir apparent and killed Ri Boku, had her killed and exterminated her family. Together they enthroned Ka at Dai. After seven years they could not defeat Qin. Zhao was then annihilated and became a commandery of Qin.

Last but not least, there's the Queen Mother's involvement in Riboku's death. u/Arturo-Plateado points out that this is Kou Hi and she conspired with Shunpeikun due to Riboku advising Toujou not to take Kou Hi as his first wife due to Prince Ka's existence. As a result after the death of Toujou, she arranged her son to be King of Zhao instead of Prince Ka and convinced the court to kill Riboku. She later was killed by the vassals of King Ka of Dai.
though this source does not come from the Shiji nor the Zhan Guo Ce, I believe it is possible that Hara read up on the Lienüzhuan.

Final Words

Riboku's death is so complex with so many different accounts. These accounts are a story on their own. The Shiji account states that the Qin court will bribe Kaku Kai into slandering Riboku with false accusations of rebelling, so the Zhao court sends an agent to capture Riboku to later behead him. One of the Zhan Guo Ce accounts credits Ousen for this achievement and another account from the Zhan Guo Ce credits Dun Ruo for this as well.
There is also a jarring account from the Zhan Guo Ce where it states that Riboku is punished for concealing a dagger and Zhao Official Han Cang forces Riboku to commit suicide where the wooden arm Riboku thrusts a sword into his mouth.
Finally, there's an account from the Lienüzhuan that credits Kou Hi for the death of Riboku due to him disrespecting her in the past.
It's possible for Hara to either do one of these accounts or perhaps even combine all of them.
It really goes to show how much monster Riboku is as it took the minds of many geniuses of China from the efforts of both Qin and Zhao just to kill him.

I work for a very popular bar on the Las Vegas Strip. I was with this company for 3 years before quitting last May and coming back this past May. This company apparently has no problem hiring people with hygiene issues. I can think of 3 people off hand who reek up the entire area we work in, especially when we’re crowded into the back of the bar or back office. I’ve complained about this to management before with no changes. The newest employee I’ve met with these issues is the worst of them all. She smells homeless (no offense but those who are living outside have a distinct smell [unwashed clothes, dirt, cigarette smoke, musty]), her breath and teeth are rancid (ask me why she was so close that I could smell it), and she leaves behind a smell that is truly unfair to bear when she leaves. How do I go about getting help for us employees who clearly smell the issue but are unheard in our complaints? We work in food and beverage at the end of the day and I think it’s unacceptable that people with these issues are handling beverages. I hate to sound harsh in this post but 3 years of smelling other people’s feet, dandruff, and bodily fluids while going to work to make drinks has me fed up. Advice?

Folding my office job
I raise my glass and thank Mark and Marjolein, my managers, for everything. Meanwhile I could only think about the online poker tournament that I was playing while having dinner. What were the odds of me actually advancing to day 2 of a big online tournament? Around 400 players out of 30.000 advanced, so mathematically around 1.33%.
I had realized that advancing would mean someone else had to play the first part, as I not just had a goodbye dinner of work, it was my own goodbye dinner.
After coming in as an intern, I got a job offered at a rapidly developing high tech auction platform that was doing really well.
I took the challenge and liked it, especially at the start.
However after around two and a half years I found myself looking outside the window a few times a day too much.
More than once I felt myself being captured between the office walls, especially after 14:30.
Most people would tell you; that’s life.
This seemed the right moment to find out if that statement was true. Recently I had bought a house, I knew I could rent it out for a good amount of money.
This would be a bit of stable income, aside from the money I already had.
After doing some calculations I realized that I could take a gap year with relative financial risk. I am Dutch after all.
On my way home I was following the tournament while traveling by train. One of my good friends took over on my behalf.
Officially not legal, neither is renting out my place without paying taxes. But I’ve never had any trouble with working in gray areas.
Before I could reach home, the misfortune had come and I busted out of the tournament at 350th place for 1,100$.
Not a bad result but definitely not what I would’ve hoped for at the start of the day. It feels kinda cruel to play for 14 hours, advance to day 2 and not be able to play yourself. Hence, I knew this could happen.
I will leave for Vegas in two days, my first trip to Sin City.
Viva las Vegas
I’m not sure if I did it because it just was that way or because I thought it would make a good story, but within 36 hours after the goodbye office job dinner I found myself sitting on a plane to Vegas.
A nice 10 day journey, which I had booked at the start of the year. I can still remember telling my (ex) girlfriend I booked Vegas. I expected her to be happy for me, but that was probably naive. Women, especially (ex) girlfriends, are not happy when impulsive young men leave for Vegas.
Once in the plane I felt this feeling of excitement, this was exactly what I should do; live life the fullest.
Once I arrived I would take a cab, the driver kept asking me if he should pull over somewhere to buy some booze or cannabis. Cannabis was recently legalized, but coming from Holland I was not too impressed with that. I wouldn’t be the type to go on a mad one by myself the first night and friendly instructed him to drive me to the hotel. It was around midnight by the time I could check in and there was my first surprise. 350$ added resort fees per room. Well that’s a nice welcome to Vegas I thought by myself. However the room was nice and I was buzzing to be in this city.
Two days later I was joined by two good friends who I’d always go on poker trips with.
We mostly had been to Dublin, but Vegas was new for everyone.
On the second day I’m playing day 1 of a 500$ event, it was literally the softest event I’ve ever played. Some people barely knew how to hold their cards, yet paid 500 dollars to play. Poker is a crazy world.
After advancing to day 2 with an under average stack I got a text from Gary.
Now Gary is the biggest character you will ever meet. Brings me back to the story of how I met him.
I’m in Dublin and it’s my first big poker event, there’s this kid who literally looks like a 15 year old. I figure he must be good at poker to put up this kind of money at his age. We happen to be at the same table within 30 minutes. He makes a crazy kamikaza bluff, it was literally a suicidal play.
24 hours later I walked into him in the Regency hotel in Dublin where the tournament back then was held, he’s all sweating and looking exhausted. I ask him: ‘How are you doing man? Did you advance yesterday in the tournament?’
‘Awh no bro, I busted out of the tournament (I was not surprised). I have been playing here ever since, but I haven't slept yet. I’m down 2 grand for fuck sake.
I wish Gary the best of luck and recommend him to go to sleep, at that time I wouldn’t know I would tell him the exact same thing at least another 300 times in the five years after.
Anyways back to Vegas, Gary lets me know he just arrived in town and we should go for a drink. He’s with a friend of his, Patrick a.k.a. Clicki.
I knew Clicki, I once transferred him 1000$ online, a short term loan. I’d only see the guy once and never spoke to him, yet was giving him a 1k loan. Gary said he was good for it. That’s the poker world.
Gary and Clicki seem to have a hell lot of fun at the craps table in a video they send me. I advanced in the tournament and am off the next day, so I decided to pay them a visit in the Flamingo casino.
There was one other guy, his name was Matt. Despite being white he talked like some American rapper and he kept telling me that he could have me sign an NBA contract first thing in the morning because of my height.
One thing was immediately clear, this group was here to party.
We are getting strong mixers for 10$ a drink, this would go a bit against my normal standards but it was Vegas after all.
Gary, not surprisingly already in fairly drunk shape after arriving 2 hours in Vegas, tells me there was this woman who wanted to sleep with him.
I told him he should totally go for it and after not seeing him for one hour he came back. I will never forget him telling me he just fucked a whale, she was so fat he thought he was riding her legs.
Matt, Clicki and I were all dying of laughter, especially after seeing his face when he realized he didn’t use a condom.
Another two hours later, it must be around 3am, we find ourselves at the hotel room of Clicki, there’s plenty of booze, and illegal substances, around. Gary, who is staying there as well, tells us we should leave the room. He has a tournament the next morning at 11 and according to him this was the opportunity of a lifetime for him. You could ask yourself how serious you could take a man, who just drank all night (and fucked a whale), talking about the opportunity of a lifetime the next morning. Matt, Clicki and I go on looking for a bit more trouble and end up at a random hotel room in Planet Hollywood.
I wake up the next day around 1 in the afternoon and am wondering if Gary has shown up for his so-called opportunity of a lifetime.
By this time Rien and Gertjan, two close Dutch friends, had arrived in Vegas. While having pancakes together I receive a text from Gary.
He tells me that he doesn’t feel too well, yet the poker tournament is going the right direction and he doubled his stack. I tell him it’s just a bad hangover; hang in there and drink enough water you’ll be fine.
At this time I’m texting Clicki to see how bad his hangover is, he tells me it’s pretty rough, he hasn’t slept at all yet he’s playing a 1000$ tournament. I can’t believe my ears and realize that he just jumped into a tournament that could easily go on for 12 hours without a single minute of sleep and probably still being fairly intoxicated. A quick text back from Clicki: ‘Keep the backer happy’ I doubt if the backer would be happy when he would know in which state he’s currently playing, but Clicki wouldn’t be Clicki if he didn't end up cashing the tourney nonetheless. At that time I didn’t know Clicki and I would have our fair share of adventures in Thailand, Taiwan and Cambodia 6 months later.
Apparently Gary kept feeling very bad, to make things worse he took an unknown substance offered by a total stranger that was at his table.
This resulted in him telling me he thought he was going to have a heart attack, should he call an ambulance he was asking me? I told him that he would be better off taking a cab to the hospital if he insisted on going, especially the way American healthcare is set up.
Around half an hour later I receive a ‘selfie’ of Gary, on a stretcher, in an ambulance. He’s heading straight to the hospital, his stack worth around 1000$ still being in play were least of his concerns.
Later that night I’m picking up Gary from the hospital with Rien and Gertjan, he turned out to have an anxiety attack. We’re in the cab to drop Gary off at the Palms hotel and it’s dead silent. Suddenly Gary says; Lad’s, lads I’m still in the tournament. I advanced! YES! The fact that the estimated value of his stack dropped from approximately 1000$ to around 290$ didn’t seem to bother him too much.
None of us cashed the tournament eventually and Vegas turned out to be a cool, yet expensive experience. The total trip had cost me around 5000 dollars, definitely not the dream start just after quitting your job.
Gary, who had planned a three week trip, eventually got his mom to book a ticket home after eight days. His time in Vegas must have been turbulent including the hospital, getting robbed by a hooker and losing all his money.

Hey Guys, I’m here looking for some help and guidance regarding a chronic and acute testicular pain I’m facing. Im male, 31, 5’10, Caucasian, having testicle and pelvic pain for 15 months, no exisiting medical issues, using lyrics 300mg once daily, baclofen 25mg twice daily, no drinking, no smoking, in Australia. 8 years ago I went to the doctor with an awareness that something wasn’t right in the testicles, got ultrasound, results normal, went on with life. As life went on the awareness of a problem continued but without pain until March 2022 when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in left testicle. From then on I have been in constant pain everywhere in the pelvic but specially the testicles with the left testicle being extremely bad, in pain and discomfort 24/7. The entire 8 years I had been doing enormous amounts of kettlebell swings (1000 swings daily) and deadlifts, working 16 hr days, 7 days a week (being under a lot of stress and pressure, was using the weight lifting as a outlet to blow off steam) that seem to have caused problems with my pelvis and the pain in the testicles. I understand this was wrong and stupid now but in the moment I needed stress relief. It’s like as if the testicles were stretching from the weightlifting and then after it turned painful now they are cramping wanting to go inside me. Then for the past 15 months the sensitivity and pain has been getting progressively worse, I have been to the ER 6 times, I have seen 35+ doctors (chiropractors, physio, pelvic floor therapist, rheumatologist, urologist, pain specialist and many more) and all can not seem to figure it out or fix anything. The general consensus is that it’s pudendal neuralgia with a hypertonic pelvic floor and have just had a bilateral nerve block, pelvic floor Botox and testicular Botox to try eliminate the pain and relax the area, this seems to be working but not totally fixing the problem. (another thought is that the muscles in the pelvic are overdeveloped and causing the constant spasm). Food helps ease the pain. THC, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and any stimulants makes the situation very very bad and painful. I have had 7 ultrasounds, 3 mri’s and a ct scan and all come back free and clear of anything, everything is completely normal on all scans. Have had full panel bloods done and everything is in perfect range, high testosterone. All free and clear of sti’s/std’s. Had mri on spine and it’s all normal. My left testicle hangs very low like as if the cremaster muscle is over stretched like a rubber band that has lost it elasticity and in a lot of pain 24/7 and the right testicle is cramped up as a result of a bad reaction to Gabapentin. It feels like the left spermatic cord is damaged somehow. I feel it’s almost like I have a combination of varicocele, epididymitis, cpps, bells clapper, hypertonic pelvic floor and pudendal neuralgia. I find it hard to walk because of the pain and discomfort. I spend a lot of time doing yoga, swimming and stretching, it seems to help a lot, I do pelvic floor releases daily, I meditate everyday, use tens machine, I use a chiropractic adjustment tool on the pelvic floor, I have been working on my diaphragmatic breathing everyday, creatine helps ease the pain, numbing cream on the pelvic floor everyday. I have tried every supplement none help except choline, cbd, l theanine, magnesium and baclofen. I wear supportive underwear. All these protocols help a little but are not helping me get better just easing the pain. My life have been completely turned upside down I used to have a job where I was very active, very social and now I spend most of my time at home, laying down in pain with no real hope in sight. I used to be a high performer running a business with 100 employees working everyday, focused on life and successful. Now I struggle to get out of bed, have not worked for over a year, am in pain all the time and pain in the testicles destroys your confidence and zest for life. Mentally I’m very strong but have been experiencing a lot of depression, grief, regret, shame and intrusive thoughts that I have been doing my best to combat with good sleep, good diet, getting outside regularly and always staying positive but it’s still very challenging. Once every week or two I will have a extreme pain episode where the entire pelvic, pelvic floor, spermatic cords and testicles will go into spasm and I will need to take Valium to ease the pains and I will have to lay in bed for 3 days to let everything relax. I’m not sure where to go or what to do but would love to hear any insights or ideas that could help. Let me know if you know what the problem I have is and or how I could fix it. Any help or comments are greatly appreciated. Many thanks.

Hey Guys,
I’m here looking for some help and guidance regarding a chronic and acute testicular pain I’m facing.
Im male, 31, 5’10, Caucasian, having testicle and pelvic pain for 15 months, no exisiting medical issues, using lyrics 300mg once daily, baclofen 25mg twice daily, no drinking, no smoking, in Australia.
8 years ago I went to the doctor with an awareness that something wasn’t right in the testicles, got ultrasound, results normal, went on with life.
As life went on the awareness of a problem continued but without pain until March 2022 when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in left testicle. From then on I have been in constant pain everywhere in the pelvic but specially the testicles with the left testicle being extremely bad, in pain and discomfort 24/7.
The entire 8 years I had been doing enormous amounts of kettlebell swings (1000 swings daily) and deadlifts, working 16 hr days, 7 days a week (being under a lot of stress and pressure, was using the weight lifting as a outlet to blow off steam) that seem to have caused problems with my pelvis and the pain in the testicles. I understand this was wrong and stupid now but in the moment I needed stress relief. It’s like as if the testicles were stretching from the weightlifting and then after it turned painful now they are cramping wanting to go inside me.
Then for the past 15 months the sensitivity and pain has been getting progressively worse, I have been to the ER 6 times, I have seen 35+ doctors (chiropractors, physio, pelvic floor therapist, rheumatologist, urologist, pain specialist and many more) and all can not seem to figure it out or fix anything.
The general consensus is that it’s pudendal neuralgia with a hypertonic pelvic floor and have just had a bilateral nerve block, pelvic floor Botox and testicular Botox to try eliminate the pain and relax the area, this seems to be working but not totally fixing the problem. (another thought is that the muscles in the pelvic are overdeveloped and causing the constant spasm).
Food helps ease the pain.
THC, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and any stimulants makes the situation very very bad and painful.
I have had 7 ultrasounds, 3 mri’s and a ct scan and all come back free and clear of anything, everything is completely normal on all scans. Have had full panel bloods done and everything is in perfect range, high testosterone. All free and clear of sti’s/std’s. Had mri on spine and it’s all normal.
My left testicle hangs very low like as if the cremaster muscle is over stretched like a rubber band that has lost it elasticity and in a lot of pain 24/7 and the right testicle is cramped up as a result of a bad reaction to Gabapentin. It feels like the left spermatic cord is damaged somehow.
I feel it’s almost like I have a combination of varicocele, epididymitis, cpps, bells clapper, hypertonic pelvic floor and pudendal neuralgia.
I find it hard to walk because of the pain and discomfort.
I spend a lot of time doing yoga, swimming and stretching, it seems to help a lot, I do pelvic floor releases daily, I meditate everyday, use tens machine, I use a chiropractic adjustment tool on the pelvic floor, I have been working on my diaphragmatic breathing everyday, creatine helps ease the pain, numbing cream on the pelvic floor everyday. I have tried every supplement none help except choline, cbd, l theanine, magnesium and baclofen. I wear supportive underwear. All these protocols help a little but are not helping me get better just easing the pain.
My life have been completely turned upside down I used to have a job where I was very active, very social and now I spend most of my time at home, laying down in pain with no real hope in sight.
I used to be a high performer running a business with 100 employees working everyday, focused on life and successful. Now I struggle to get out of bed, have not worked for over a year, am in pain all the time and pain in the testicles destroys your confidence and zest for life.
Mentally I’m very strong but have been experiencing a lot of depression, grief, regret, shame and intrusive thoughts that I have been doing my best to combat with good sleep, good diet, getting outside regularly and always staying positive but it’s still very challenging.
Once every week or two I will have a extreme pain episode where the entire pelvic, pelvic floor, spermatic cords and testicles will go into spasm and I will need to take Valium to ease the pains and I will have to lay in bed for 3 days to let everything relax.
I’m not sure where to go or what to do but would love to hear any insights or ideas that could help.
Let me know if you know what the problem I have is and or how I could fix it.
Any help or comments are greatly appreciated.
Many thanks.

Hey Guys,
I’m here looking for some help and guidance regarding a chronic and acute testicular pain I’m facing.
Im male, 31, 5’10, Caucasian, having testicle and pelvic pain for 15 months, no exisiting medical issues, using lyrics 300mg once daily, baclofen 25mg twice daily, no drinking, no smoking, in Australia.
8 years ago I went to the doctor with an awareness that something wasn’t right in the testicles, got ultrasound, results normal, went on with life.
As life went on the awareness of a problem continued but without pain until March 2022 when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in left testicle. From then on I have been in constant pain everywhere in the pelvic but specially the testicles with the left testicle being extremely bad, in pain and discomfort 24/7.
The entire 8 years I had been doing enormous amounts of kettlebell swings (1000 swings daily) and deadlifts, working 16 hr days, 7 days a week (being under a lot of stress and pressure, was using the weight lifting as a outlet to blow off steam) that seem to have caused problems with my pelvis and the pain in the testicles. I understand this was wrong and stupid now but in the moment I needed stress relief. It’s like as if the testicles were stretching from the weightlifting and then after it turned painful now they are cramping wanting to go inside me.
Then for the past 15 months the sensitivity and pain has been getting progressively worse, I have been to the ER 6 times, I have seen 35+ doctors (chiropractors, physio, pelvic floor therapist, rheumatologist, urologist, pain specialist and many more) and all can not seem to figure it out or fix anything.
The general consensus is that it’s pudendal neuralgia with a hypertonic pelvic floor and have just had a bilateral nerve block, pelvic floor Botox and testicular Botox to try eliminate the pain and relax the area, this seems to be working but not totally fixing the problem. (another thought is that the muscles in the pelvic are overdeveloped and causing the constant spasm).
Food helps ease the pain.
THC, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and any stimulants makes the situation very very bad and painful.
I have had 7 ultrasounds, 3 mri’s and a ct scan and all come back free and clear of anything, everything is completely normal on all scans. Have had full panel bloods done and everything is in perfect range, high testosterone. All free and clear of sti’s/std’s. Had mri on spine and it’s all normal.
My left testicle hangs very low like as if the cremaster muscle is over stretched like a rubber band that has lost it elasticity and in a lot of pain 24/7 and the right testicle is cramped up as a result of a bad reaction to Gabapentin. It feels like the left spermatic cord is damaged somehow.
I feel it’s almost like I have a combination of varicocele, epididymitis, cpps, bells clapper, hypertonic pelvic floor and pudendal neuralgia.
I find it hard to walk because of the pain and discomfort.
I spend a lot of time doing yoga, swimming and stretching, it seems to help a lot, I do pelvic floor releases daily, I meditate everyday, use tens machine, I use a chiropractic adjustment tool on the pelvic floor, I have been working on my diaphragmatic breathing everyday, creatine helps ease the pain, numbing cream on the pelvic floor everyday. I have tried every supplement none help except choline, cbd, l theanine, magnesium and baclofen. I wear supportive underwear. All these protocols help a little but are not helping me get better just easing the pain.
My life have been completely turned upside down I used to have a job where I was very active, very social and now I spend most of my time at home, laying down in pain with no real hope in sight.
I used to be a high performer running a business with 100 employees working everyday, focused on life and successful. Now I struggle to get out of bed, have not worked for over a year, am in pain all the time and pain in the testicles destroys your confidence and zest for life.
Mentally I’m very strong but have been experiencing a lot of depression, grief, regret, shame and intrusive thoughts that I have been doing my best to combat with good sleep, good diet, getting outside regularly and always staying positive but it’s still very challenging.
Once every week or two I will have a extreme pain episode where the entire pelvic, pelvic floor, spermatic cords and testicles will go into spasm and I will need to take Valium to ease the pains and I will have to lay in bed for 3 days to let everything relax.
I’m not sure where to go or what to do but would love to hear any insights or ideas that could help.
A picture of the situation is attached so you can see the damage that seems to have been done and let me know if you know what the problem I have is and or how I could fix it.
Any help or comments are greatly appreciated.
https://imgur.com/HIbcB3n
https://imgur.com/jEgnU92
Many thanks.

When we got engaged, super excited pa parents ko at everyone around us so naghanap na kami ng coordinator, nakapag down na ng 20%. Gusto pang imbitahin ng mother ko mga frienemies nya para daw mapakita na "bongga ang kasal". Yung payment ng kasal galing sa savings namin, 0 ang hihingin namin on both sides.
The thing is, ayoko ng typical, gradiose, wedding. Gusto ko ng Las vegas style, elopement, walang keme, walang pasabi, bigla lang. Ganon. I only wanted to please my parents. Kesyo kasi 5+ years na live in, may 5 pusa at wala pang anak, ano daw sasabihin ng iba.
However, 2 months na kaming sina-silent treatment ng parents ko. It all started nung bumili kami ng car at ang dami nilang pinuna since. Madamot daw kami, hindi daw sila binibilhan ng groceries. At ang malala, "pag-isipan" ko daw si fiance kasi daw nahahawa ako sa karamutan nya. (this is another rant for later)
Gusto ko nang i cancel yung wedding. Hindi yung kasal, yung grandiosang celebration. We booked the viralest coordinator sa city namin, the viralest host, the viralest photographer, and the viralest videographer (salamat Steffi). Gusto ko lang mag court wedding at mag honeymoon sa Vegas/renew ng vows dun. Ayaw ni fiance, at nasasayangan ako sa downpayments namin.
kastress