First
Capes and Conundrums
“This is so much fun! I didn’t think that something like this was around here before!” Migalla says and her mother laughs.
“Last time we were here you were so small that chasing the family Purriz was the most excitement you’d get in a day Migalla.”
“Mom!” Migalla protests as Echosong giggles.
“Daughter!” She says back in amusement as they climb in through the window of the building that the clue they had frisked from those very fetching men had on them. If she wasn’t a married woman then she’d be looking to cure that with these men. They were clearly both dedicated and fun loving with all the shame of an exhibitionist but the self control you need from a soldier.
A pity her little Migalla is still a little too young to do more than occasionally have a wandering hand or find herself staring. The sort of thing you chide someone for or at worst give them a swat or two to get them to stop. Although... at this rate... between the sheer amount of CHEST shown by ‘Maxie Zeus’ and how tight the suit on ‘Firefly’ was... she might start developing a little early in the interest category.
“So... what IS your name ma’am? Did that... Mighty Zeus say it right when he called you Nyx?” Echosong asks and The Huntress perks up a little before letting out a bit of a laugh.
“Oh! Oh this must have been awkward! Oh no, my name is Migalla as well. It’s tradition in my family that the tenth daughter is always named Migalla. Little Migalla here is my tenth born and I am tenth born to my own mother, who was ninth born.”
“So Migalla and Migalla? How does that...”
“Call me Patience. It’s the family name after all. Huntsmistress Migalla Patience, and my adorable daughte Huntress in training Migalla Patience.”
“And granddaughter of Huntsmistress Migalla Patience right?”
“Actually mother’s a botanist. When all three of us are in a room she’s Doctor Migalla.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” Patience responds with a very amused tone. “Now if you get my great aunt in the room then Huntsmistress Migalla will get more than one answer. Much like Huntress in training Migalla will get my adorable little girl and at least three cousins.”
“Family reunions must be a lot of fun.” Echosong states as she tries to make sense of the strange acoustics of this place. There’s no echo despite the fact their should be. Furthermore there’s utter darkness and no source of light. But the light should be moving past certain areas. Something’s going on. What though? She’s not sure.
“The Migalla table at the gathering is always full of the funniest and most confusing conversations.” Migalla says and Echosong laughs. Migalla then smiles at a memory. “Mom, was it Migalla or Migalla that was telling Migalla that last time she saw Migalla she was in a fight with Migalla and it was such a relief to see her and Migalla had made up?”
“Yes, yes it was. Now back to the game at hand... we’re looking for a Ra’s Al Ghul. Some kind of immortal mad eco-terrorist that wishes to crash economies, destroy cities and leave the nature of the world pristine.” Patience notes.
“Wrong world for that. If we let that happen then Skathac gets set on fire again and again.” Echosong notes. “Also... hang on... I have the booklet here. Right! The resurrection method he uses has been slowly driving him insane.”
“Insane little creature? How very base and untoward to use such childish insults.” A refined voice with a slight accent states clearly.
“Speakers, he could be anywhere between here and Centris.” Patience warns.
“Indeed I can miss... Patience was it? Hmm... I expected the detective. I am torn between concern and relief that the rest of the sleeping masses upon this wretched and ruined world are beginning to awaken. Tell me, will you use your awareness and strength to save the world, or doom it?”
“Skathac isn’t a world that needs saving, it needs saving from.” Migalla states in an incredulous tone.
“Seriously old man! Haven’t you been outside? It’s a roasty nine hundred and eighty degrees outside the thermal shields! And it’s the cooler part of the year!” Echosong exclaims.
“I am certain that the world will cool when...”
“What craziness are you up to this time Ra’s? Are you sure you don’t need a retirement home?” Patience mocks him and there’s a silence.
“I am certain that...”
“They even have diapers your size now! So you don’t even have to figure out where the bathroom is!”
“Migalla that’s too far! Incontinence is nothing to joke about. Unless it’s funny.” Patience chides her before laughing.
“Mercenary, get in there.” Ra’s states coldly. Suddenly the darkness is pulled away revealing the warehouse they’re in to be a full of machinery and the trick they used to disguise this to be sound absorbing curtains that blended perfectly in the darkness.
They’re surrounded. Dozens of men in black outfits and only their eyes exposed glaring down. But most importantly are two. One an older looking man with a pointed hairstyle, grey streaks in his beard and a high collared green cape on. The other a very large and powerfully built man in black and grey armour with a half orange facemask. He looks like he walked right out of the Teen Titans cartoon.
“Decisions, decisions...” Deathstroke states.
“I am not paying you dither. Attack!” Ra’s Al Ghul orders and Deathstroke MOVES. His open palm slams into Patient’s stomach and sends her skidding backwards even as her footclaws dig into the concrete below. She leaves four foot long trenches and staggers back a step to regain her footing.
She deflects his left jab, blocks the right cross and then takes a brutal kick to the side of the knee and is sent sprawling. However she still has more limbs to play and her knife hand slams into the sides of his stomach in a powerful cross chop. She gets an impression of far more organs in there than most life, and she knows she hit at least one of them painfully.
His answer is a snap kick that takes her in the stomach and sends her staggering.
Meanwhile Migalla and Echosong are set upon by the ninja horde with a single wordless command from Ra’s. Echosong responds by letting out a sonic scream infused with Axiom that batters back at least three of them and send them sprawling in midair to crash into the machinery uselessly.
Migalla on the other hand jumps back at them and with Axiom infused hands coutners their swords and, after a bit of fumbling, grabs them by the shirt and tries to land on a pipe. She slips and begins to slide backwards, but she wraps her tail around it and firms her footing so they turn on the pipe instead and simply fall off. Leaving her hanging upside down with a ninja in each pair of arms.
She gives them both a few shacks before bonking them together and then dropping them before shifting and skittering to the top of the pipe instead.
She’s then met by a pair of ninjas to either side. She takes a stance that allows both of them access to her sides and uses Axiom to expand her field of vision. Fighting off two people at once will be tricky. But with her four arms and tail, they’ve got a grand total of one limb on her. Hopefully it won’t make that much difference.
Patience meanwhile is having a blast. Deathstroke... or is he Slade when he’s more Teen Titans style? Anyways, Mister Wilson is all sorts of fun. Sure, she has a few limbs on him. The tail nearly gets him as she sweeps for the legs or stabs with the blade, but he downright slithers out of the way of that, showing that he’s as flexible as he’s physically strong and... and...
“Tell me Mister Wilson... do you offer lessons?” Patience asks.
“Oh?” Slade asks. Nothing grand in his tone as he deflects two attacks and shifts to the side to try and get her with an elbow. Unfortunately there’s a distinct lack of organs in the place he hits her, and he’d have had more impact if he slammed into her thigh instead.
“Oh yes... I’m a married woman, but if I could my husband to MOVE like you do... He’s not much of a fighter your see.”
“A brawl before bed to spice up the marital life?” Slade asks in a scornful tone.
“Something like that. A poet can make a woman melt with words alone, but there’s something to be said if he can scoop her up afterwards to carry her to bed.” Patience says and there’s a scoff from under the mask.
“Okay, that needs to come off.” She insists making a grab for the mask. It’s latched on though and it’s not coming off.
She gets a flurry of body shots as she tries to grab at the helmet and then as she lunges for it again she’s instead grabbed and the flip is turned into a hammer throw that sends her hurtling through the factory. She aborts the flight by twisting in the air and grabbing the underside of a walkway and stopping her flight.
She paces along the underside of the walkway, easily keeping grip as she keeps track of Slade. Who throws down a smoke bomb and she senses movement behind her. Her tail lashes out but something binds it and she decides to go all out.
The metal of the walkway bends and cracks under her sheer strength as she bursts through the underside of it to attack Slade, only to find his solid boot slamming into the top of her head with enough force to break her grip, break the line he tied her with and break the pipe underneath them clean through.
“Oh!... Oh wow! You’re good!”
“Of course I am...” Slade begins even as the walkway he’s standing on creaks and groans. It then snaps under his feet and he falls. He falls in perfect control as he angles himself to avoid the edges of the pipe and he lands in a crouch right in front of Patience. “Deathstroke The Terminator.”
“I think this is a bit much for most contestants.”
“You’re a bit much for mere level four. We have you on record fighting Lava Serpents without protective gear and with only the most basic weapons. You can handle it big girl.” Deathstroke The Terminator states. “Now then. Shall we?”
Her response is a lightning fast charge that phases right through him. She skids to a stop and turns. Red runes are glowing over his armour with a jagged mark over his forehead.
“Really?” Patience asks.
“Really.” Deathstroke says before gesturing and half the equipment in the factory hurls itself at her. The Huntsmistress laughs in glee at the challenge.
While mother was having her fun, Migalla was having some of her own. She had managed to swipe a quartet of swords from the ninja and wasn’t so much as using them as flailing them around in their vague directions as she swung from her tail. On the walkway above a Ninja finally gets up there and dislodges her tail, causing her to start to fall, but Echosong swoops in, grabs her and helps her stick the landing even as she sweeps with her Axiom infused voice.
Between the blades, the fury and the scream the ninja fall back and one of them is dramatically killed by Ra’s Al Ghul.
“Incompetent fool.” The older man says in a dark tone as he bares the ‘bloody’ (sauce covered) falchion. “All of you. Out. I will deal with this myself.”
The ninjas scatter and Ra’s Al Ghul throws away his cloak to reveal that he has an armoured vest, pants and boots underneath. “A pity that one can only depend on a mercenary. I will need to increase my training of them.”
In the background Deathstroke’s and Patience’s fight has escalated into a two person war. Literal magic is being used on both sides as Slade reveals enormous teleportion, pyrokinesis and just kinesis in general as Patience shows that she can easily match the teleportation. Knows her way around throwing lightning and can cause the ground to quake with every move she makes.
“Now then. Let us begin.” Ra’s states before suddenly charging them both. Migalla’s swords are outright shattered against his falchion in a single swipe and the round kick to the side sends her sprawling as Echosong opens up with a sonic scream.
He DODGES the scream and lands some feet away, skidding from the sheer speed of the movement.
“All this effort and you still haven’t fully uncovered the plan. I expected more of someone taking up The Detective’s mantle. Perhaps his faith in you is misplaced?”
​
First Last

Previous, first, next,
Fanfiction.
Chapter 28 cont;
Working at sea had made me buy a coat specifically designed for the more extreme types of weather, but with its age and my short stint in the Irish sea the efficacy of the wax coating had all but vanished, after only taking a few steps I felt the water beginning to seep through. Putting aside the chill that came with wearing wet clothes I made my way along the deck until I found the cruiser.
She wasn't particularly difficult to find. Her cherry blond hair and pure white cape made it easy to spot her against the greys of the ship and sky. Her head was tilted upward with her eyes closed. She held Montpelier’s cube in her arms letting the rain fall on it. She must have noticed me coming, for she opened her eyes and looked over to me as I approached.
“Hey.” She greeted, her tone completely neutral and with a distinctive lack of the boyish bravado I had heard before. Her hair and all of her clothes were absolutely drenched yet she didn't seem to care.
“Hey. How are you holding up?” I awkwardly replied.
“Fine, I guess.” Cleveland replied, looking down at the cube and affectionately rubbing it with her thumb. “I’ve had this body for half a year now. Yet this is the first time I've ever felt the rain.”
“And how are you finding it?”
“Cold and wet.” She lifted her head up once again, letting the rain splash against her face. “But it is kinda nice. The sound against the deck and sea is rather pleasant.”
“You should try listening to it near a forest or field, especially during spring. I used to listen to it all the time back home.” Memories of countless days back home sitting in the study with the window open reading book after book while it rained outside surfaced.
“Guess that stereotype holds true then, eh?” There was the faintest hint of a smile on her lips. “Monty always enjoyed the quiet time we had together.”
My eyes were drawn to the cube in her hands. “May I?”
There was a moment of reticence before she slowly offered the cube to me. “Please, be careful.”
“I will, I promise.” I carefully took the item from Cleveland, taking it into my hands as delicately as I could. The dull crystal felt cold to my touch, and it wasn’t only due to the rain. I slowly rotated it in my fingers, hoping for something, anything that would show a sign of activity within, yet my mind didn’t become awash with random thoughts or feelings; it felt like nothing more than mundane glass in my hands.
The guilt was piling up again. “I can't begin to express how sorry I am. We should have acted sooner.”
Cleveland looked at her hand while she flexed her fingers, but her eyes never left the cube. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You did all that you could, and even took a great risk for complete strangers. It's me who is to blame for not being there for her. For leaving her behind.”
“But I will not fail her again.” She continued, confidence returning to her voice and posture. “I know within my heart that we will be reunited one day.” She ran a hand along the silver streak in her hair.
“If you don't mind me asking, what happened when you touched your sister's ship? For a moment it looked like you had two riggings.” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.
“I don't really know what or how I did it, I just couldn't let her ship fall apart like that. However, now it seems like I can have both my and her rigging.” She waved a hand out to sea where a Cruiser sailed alongside the battleship. And with a flash of light her rigging appeared. “It's uncomfortable having both at the same time to say the least, but like this it's not too bad.”
“Well you can keep her ship safe for her.” I carefully held out the cube for her to take back. “If there's one thing I've learned in the time I've spent around you girls is that anything is possible.”
“Thanks.” She took the cube back. “Not just for saying that, but for everything you and your crew have done. It's heartening to know there's at least one person out there looking out for us.” Cleveland rocked on her heels. “If it's alright with you, may I hang around with you guys for a bit? I don't really have anywhere else to go and being part of a fleet sounds nice.”
“There will always be a place for you in this fleet, Cleveland. For you and any other ship that wishes to join us.” I offered my hand. “No strings attached, if you don't wish to fight or follow orders then you can just wait out any fight onboard a ship”
Cleveland gave a toothy smile. “I won’t be no slacker. I'll earn my keep just as much as any other girl. You can depend on our six inch guns.” I paid attention to her eyes when she took my hand. Now there was the distinct blue glow for less than a second in her right eye, something that had happened before with other girls. Cleveland seemed to relax slightly after the exchange, but I could still see weariness in her.
She tilted her head up to the sky. “Man, it's really coming down now. We should head back inside.” Cleveland took one more pensive look at her ship before walking inside.
The water dripping from our clothes echoed inside the ship as we walked. We came upon a junction where we would go down different paths, and Cleveland paused to speak, rubbing the brooch on her cape once again. “James… About what you did. I know it probably isn't right to say, but thank you. If anyone deserved such a fate, it was him. So you ever need anything from me, no matter what it is I will do it.”
“Uh, thanks.” I replied, unable to think of something meaningful to say. The idea of being thanked for what I did was hard to comprehend, but the gratitude I saw in the cruiser's face helped ease the turmoil within.
That gratitude was also disturbing somehow.
–
I decided to return to my cabin with my drenched self and next to no desire to eat. I changed out of the wet raincoat and inner clothes and sat down on my bed, contemplating what to do. With how exhausted I felt sleep would probably come easily but I knew without a doubt it would be anything but peaceful.
There was the option of finishing off the bottle under my bed, but while it would help it’d only be pushing the problem aside temporarily, and I didn’t want Warspite or worse, Javelin or Z23 see me in that state. I continued mulling over my options until the daylight disappeared completely. Just as I was about to risk a night's sleep there and there came a gentle knocking at my door.
With a sigh, I got up and opened the door. I was greeted with the warm and dignified visage of Hood standing on the other side, with several books held under her arm and lips curled into a smile when our eyes met.
“Ah good,” her eyes moved to the empty tray still left at the side. “I see you enjoyed your lunch. May I come in?”
Hood had been the one to leave that try outside my door, even after how I had snapped at her, now I just felt even more guilty.
I stepped aside and waved her in. “Please.”
The battlecruiser walked into the small cabin with a familiar scent of lavender trailing behind her. She placed her books down on the small table while inquisitively looking around the room. I soon wished I had cleaned it.
I gulped when her eyes spotted the bottle under my bed. She didn’t say anything about it, but laid dead still, keeping an inscrutable smile. She lingered on it for a moment then returned her attention to me, taking off the glove of her right hand in the process. She gestured to come closer with one of her revealed fingers. “Come here.”
The very instant I closed the distance, I received a slap for the second time today, faster than I could react as well.
“I deserved that.” I sputtered gracelessly, rubbing my swollen cheek. She didn’t hit me as hard as Warspite had, but it had been the same side and reignited the sting from earlier.
“I will not tolerate being spoken to in such a manner, not from you nor anyone else. Not now, not ever.” Hood folded her arm and raised her nose curtly, her face a scowl of indignation. “No matter what you went through, to threaten one of us with an order of that kind goes against everything you stand for, and if you ever begin to stray again a slap will be the least of your problems, James.”
I looked down, misery once more coming afloat.
With her fury vented, Hood's posture relaxed and she looked at me more caringly. She put on her glove again. “James. I–we only desire to be of service to you in any way we can. You need not suffer alone. You don’t have to suffer alone, nothing good will come of it. Which is why I am here now.”
She carefully sat down on the small chair in the room, ensuring her large skirt didn’t get caught or creased.
“I don’t understand?”
She smiled with dignity. “My cabin is directly next to yours. And the walls are naught but a thin sheet of metal. I know you regularly awaken suddenly in the night from being disturbed in your sleep, so I'm here to ensure you get a proper night's rest.” She waved to the pile of books and the bed. “Don’t worry about me, I will keep myself occupied.”
I opened my mouth to protest but she quickly cut me off. “There will be no negotiation, you assisted me when I struggled to sleep and now I shall do the same. Now get yourself ready for bed, I will close my eyes.” She leaned back and shut her eyes.
Knowing there was no point in arguing, I removed both my shirt and trousers and laid myself down in bed. My face felt warm at the idea of Hood sitting by me while I slept, enough to overpower the last bits of lingering pain from the slap, but exhaustion hit me like a train the moment I laid down.
Hood reopened her eyes with the slightest bit of a blush of her own. “Good, now you just relax and I will be here if you need me.” Hood reached down and grabbed the bottle. “Honestly, I don’t understand your reasoning behind seeking comfort in this instead of getting it from a beautiful lady.” She opened the bottle and took a rather large swig.
“Don’t know where I could find the latter.” I mumbled.
“I am not ignorant of how I look, nor am I to your wandering gaze.” She quipped with a coy smile. “Now enough chitchat, it’s time for you to rest. That is unless you want me to read for you?”
“Fine, fine. Have it your way.” I said, resting my head down and shutting my eyes. It took a while to get over the nerves of having Hood sitting beside me, but the occasional flip of a page became a pleasant background noise that helped lull me to sleep.
—
Warspite sat in her captain’s chair, resting her head in her arm as she wracked her brain. She rocked her head back with a groan once more. “Why did you have to go and hit him, Warspite? You bloody stupid ship.”
She didn’t know why she had such a rush of emotions when he spoke and acted without thinking before bawling like an infant. Why is it now that just his presence is enough to throw her whits into a loop, yet she couldn’t wait until he was sitting in this chair with her at his side again?
“Things were easier when I wanted naught but to throw him overboard.” She sighed.
Another issue came to her mind, something she had brought back from the facility, not the notebook; that could remain safely locked away until she was sure her opinion of humans wouldn’t worsen even more. This was something else, something she wished she had never even touched and just left it where it lay, for what it meant made her sick.
Someone approached her bridge, Warspite quickly brushed aside her thoughts and tried to figure out who it was. She was unsuccessful at figuring out who it was but when the door had opened she quickly dropped to her knee.
“Good evening, your Majesty.”
Elizabeth smiled and walked onto the bridge. “There will never be a day where thou need to kneel upon thy own bridge. Stand, my dear Warspite.”
“Yes, your Majesty.” The battleship stood back up. “How was your rest? I hope the rain was not too distracting.” Warspite offered the captain's chair to Elizabeth for her to sit. But the tiny Queen remained standing.
After surveying the surrounding sea Elizabeth turned to her sister. “T’was most pleasant. How did things fare while I rested? Did you speak to our Commander about the book?”
“Ah, well.” Warspite scratched her head. “He gave me the same answer as you, your Majesty. I will wait until Cleveland is in a better condition and ask her permission to read it.”
Elizabeth brought a hand to her chin, noticing the small movements and fidgeting her sister was still doing. “Yet something troubles you still. Is it anything I could be of assistance with?”
Warspite sighed and dropped her shoulders. “May I ask for your assistance in something, not as my queen but as my sister?”
The Queen nodded with a soft smile. “I will always be your big sister before I am your Queen, Warspite. What is it you wish to confide in me with?”
“One second.” She replied before walking off into a small secondary inner communications room connected to the bridge, its purpose made redundant by her being able to control the ship completely no matter where she was. But inside a small cabinet was an inconspicuous rag that hid the source of her problems. She returned to the bridge with the item in hand.
“The notepad wasn't the only thing I grabbed before leaving.” She spoke as she walked over. “When James…” Warspite paused as she relived the memory. “When he shot that wretched man he dropped his gun.”
Peeling back the rag she showed Elizabeth the firearm. “There had been something about the sound it made when it fell that made me curious. I could tell you, but I think it's better for you to see for yourself.”
She offered the gun to her sister cautiously. Elizabeth took the firearm into her hand, instantly finding herself being able to handle it like she had trained with it for decades. Her brow furrowed as she noticed something was off about it.
“It can't be.” She pressed down on the magazine release to confirm her suspicion. “It's… empty?” Elizabeth was dumbfounded at the empty magazine. “Did you unload it?”
Warspite sighed and shook her head. “Unfortunately no. This is how it was, so technically…”
“James was never in any real danger.” Elizabeth finished, remembering what Warspite had told her of the exchange when they had returned.
“And that's the problem, I know James would want me to be honest to him. But what he did is tearing him apart inside, this would only make things worse.” She looked in the general direction of where his cabin would be. “I’m perplexed, Elizabeth. I’m sorry for dropping this on you, but what should I do?”
The Queen was silent for a while. Her gaze was distant as she thought over the problem until her smile returned and she returned the gun to her sister. “You should throw this in the ocean and forget about it. He put a gun against our James’ head. Loaded or not, James acted accordingly.”
Warspite looked at the gun and nodded. “I should have clocked it.”
An arm rested against her shoulder. “The past is filled with should haves and would haves, Warspite. If we were able to go back and change things then a lot of disasters could have been avoided.” Elizabeth felt the echoes of a memory come to mind, of a beach too steep to climb and an ocean filled with blood. “But we can't change them, so we must learn, grow stronger and soldier onward.”
The two sisters embraced one another in a hug for a long time until eventually breaking and retiring for the night. But not before the old warship went and threw the gun overboard, cursing the name of its deceased owner as she did, hoping the seas would swallow one more secret, never to resurface again.
(A/N) once again I ended up seeing this chapter getting longer and longer, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and look forward to the next, it should be coming soon as at the time of posting this the next chapter is already about halfway done.

There's a lot of io and with a delve and wright soon to be in my campaign I was wondering if anyone here had any good idea's for how to represent them at the table. I would like something to somewhat reduce the amount of bookkeeping. I have used cards for Cyphers, xp, assets and creatues, chips for pool points, and so on. What suggestions do you guys have?

The first indication that the Gnome God arrived was my Emperor's growing tension.
There was no fear in his eyes, only rage and hatred. He gripped his spear tightly as a short Humanoid being walked down our street toward us.
"Well, look who finally found his way out of a measly cave." He spoke with a smile.
He was perhaps slightly taller than us, but not much, dressed in bright colors, a sword at his hip, and the weirdest fucking moustache/beard combination I'd ever seen. Beneath his veneer of joyful exuberance was curiosity, and just below that, the faintest smoldering of anger.
"I have been found and freed." My Emperor spoke plainly. "And now Humans mimic your holy ritual in the hopes that you will eradicate us, just like you did during the Dawn Age."
"Yes, one of my finer pranks." Garl remarked, stroking his beard. "Even to this day, people talk about it."
"You know as well as I do, what happened that day." My Emperor's voice low with threat. "You know well what caused this conflict in the first place. Ever pointlessly causing pain and humiliation for a laugh, no imagined crime is so slight that the punishment is not disproportionate in your gaze."
"What are your intentions, Stingtail?" Garl asked. "Is it your desire to see my people utterly wiped out?"
"There would be no greater justice!" My Emperor hissed. "Yet it is by vow with my Imperator and Bahamut, that in spite of my better judgment, I offer a compromise."
"A compromise?" Garl asked, I wasn't sure if his shock was real or feigned, "From you?"
"We both know our worshipers will never stop hating one another." My Emperor stated. "We know the violence will not end any time soon, yet I am willing to grant you leniency for your crime, so long as you do not harm a single scale upon these people, nor seek retaliation against me for simply trying to rebuild what you destroyed eons ago."
Garl seemed to think about it, then smiled. "If you kneel." He said. "That's your favored tactic, making your enemies kneel? I will allow your spawn to rebuild, but you must kneel and pledge your undying service to me, as my personal fool."
I stood up, snarling. "This is not compromise!" I snapped. "This is far more accommodation than you have ever gotten before, or will ever get, and you demand servitude!?"
"I believe the term your kind uses is 'slave'." He replied. "What would be better than subjecting him to the same conditions he forced my people under?"
"YOUR PEOPLE WERE THE ONES WHO STRUCK FIRST!" My Emperor roared, his eyes wide, pupils narrow with rage, spittle flying from his maw. "IT WAS THEY WHO REFUSED TO LISTEN AS WE ATTEMPTED PEACE! IT WAS THEY WHO BROUGHT THIS UPON THEMSELVES! HOW DARE YOU DEMAND THIS OF ME, WHO HAS LANGUISHED IN SOLITUDE FOR GENERATIONS, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CANNOT ABIDE MY EXISTENCE!"
"Then it seems you need another time out." Garl said.
"That, I believe, is enough." We all looked as a group of Kobolds appeared from thin air.
"Ah, Bahamut, you debase yourself before your enemy?" Garl asked in a teasing tone.
"Do not forget, Garl, that we raged at your 'prank'. Clearly, we should have punished you, rather than choosing leniency. Perhaps so many tragedies could have been avoided, if we had simply held you to task?"
"The Justicemaker himself, siding with an evil deity?" Garl asked. "Against a good one such as I?"
With an explosion of wing and light, Bahamut towered above us, his cloudy blue eyes wide with anger. 'Justice chooses the innocent, Garl. I learned my lesson that day the hard way, and I have striven to never lapse in my duty. Watch your tone, Glittergold. I swear by the World Shaper, who granted the only justice on that day, I will denounce you, and declare you an enemy of righteous justice, until you have paid back the blood of every Kobold you have slain- including the ones who fell in the ages since- if you so much as harm so much as a single scale on these innocent victims of my nemesis."
Garl sighed, "It seems even Gods can't take a joke these days." He remarked.
I swallowed my anger and approached Garl, who watched me with curiosity. "You are approaching me?" He asked. "You, a lowly mortal Kobold, approach me?"
I held my hand out. "I swallow my hatred of you, for the sake of peace." I said. He glanced at my hand. "What, you've never heard of a handshake? Are you afraid that I could possibly do something to you?"
"You couldn't so much as scratch me." He replied, grasping my hand. I tightened my grip as the joy buzzer in my palm vibrated harmlessly in his hand. He tried pulling away, confused, the slightest bit of concern in his eyes, before I finally let go.
"What did you do?" He asked, his voice taking on a hint of threat.
"We call it a joy buzzer." I said, holding my hand out and pressing the button. "It's a joke, a prank."
He stared at me with such incomprehension, then at the joy buzzer, then back at me. "You... pulled a prank... on me." He said.
Bahamut chuckled. "Such a simple misdirection, yet all the more humorous, as you- of all Gods- fell for it."
Garl nodded. "I will admit, I could have never anticipated that." He remarked. "Very well, I will rescind my prior condition, I will leave you and your-" His eyes lingered on me. "-people alone for time being, though I must ask to have this 'joy buzzer' of yours."
I took it off my hand and put it in his palm, just hard enough to make it buzz again, startling him.
"I believe the phrase, when it comes to pranks and jokes, is confuse, don't abuse." I said. "May there never be such a gross abuse again."
"Indeed." Garl replied. He looked at the joy buzzer in his hand and gave the merest of smirks, and then he turned around and walked away.
I let out a heavy sigh of relief. "I'll be honest, I was expecting for him to get pissed and pop me like a grape." I looked back at the others, Bahamut had taken Kobold form again. "Thank you, for stepping in when you did."
"It is the very least I could do, to make reparations for that day." Bahamut spoke. He looked at My Emperor and approached him. He knelt and said, "I do not pledge fealty or loyalty, this is not a debasement, but one more reparation."
"Stand." My Emperor spoke. He hopped off the stage as Bahamut did, and after a moment of hesitation, he too knelt. "Understand, I do this only because you have earned my respect, Justicemaker." He stood up. "My people have a long way to go, in order to have the peace they richly deserve. I swear, as long as you aid me in that goal, I will do what is necessary to maintain that peace."
"That is all I need." Bahamut replied. "I hereby grant your faithful permission to perform acts of righteousness in my name, if you ever deign to allow them to worship me."
"Only if you allow your faithful to invoke my name, should they ever need to pay evil unto evil."
"I do not believe that will be necessary." Bahamut replied. "Yet I shall allow this."
They shook hands.
I half-expected Bahamut to just leave at that moment, but he didn't. "Now." He said. "Tiamat has hidden herself from me, and I can not seem to find a trace of her anywhere, save the stench of her evil machinations. Until Garl has left, I will remain here for a time, to ensure he does not have any plans or tricks for you."
"That's just an excuse to stick around as a Kobold for a while." My Emperor teased.
"If the danger has passed, why not take this time to celebrate?" I asked. "We have a week's worth of food stored, why not have a feast?"
My Emperor nodded. "An excellent idea. Bring our subjects up, I want them singing our praises by afternoon."
I went down with Galax, we didn't have to do much to get everyone going up. Food was brought out, ovens were fired up, and food was laid out for everyone to eat, drink, and generally just enjoy themselves for once.
Everyone regarded Rakdo with some hesitation at first, but when he said he was on our side, that trepidation faded and they welcomed him to the Warren.
A handful of people brought out instruments, either kept safe from little over a year and a half ago, or they had made by hand. We still didn't have Bards, and they were most assuredly Awoken, but they played what music they knew with passing skill, making use of the stage so that our sound-amplifying magic items could allow them to be heard by everyone.
Of course, I took a moment to introduce our guests of honor, Bahamut and his seven companions. Though the latter were stern and not at all talkative, they were respectful to anyone who treated their God with respect.
Being guests of honor, they had a place at the table set for myself, my Emperor, and my Council.
Since there hadn't been any formal planning behind this, anyone who thought they could entertain everyone had a chance on the stage. A cadre of teenagers got on the stage, and being former theater kids back when school was something to worry about, they put on performances of Shakespearean plays.
It was in no way, shape, or form professional, but everyone seemed to enjoy it.
"It's been a long time since I've seen you smile like that, brother." I looked at Tallyn. "I'm glad to see the world hasn't completely crushed your spirit."
"I'll crush the world before I let it crush me." I replied.
After the plays, a lone Kobold got on the stage, nervous as all hell, holding a leather-bound book. "I- uh, I would like to read a story I've written." He said. "If it would please our Imperator."
"You can't do any worse than I would!" I called out. "Impress me with your best effort, the content of the story can only enhance it!"
He seemed to take my words to heart, as he began reading a story, of Kobolds and Dragons fighting against an insurmountable foe. Everyone listened, enraptured by the tale he wove. By the time he finished, hours had passed, and he received a standing ovation, his Awakening only intensified the crowd's cheers, we all knew what he was, there was no doubt about it.
"As the first Bard of this Empire, come, have a seat at our table." I spoke. "And please, tell us your name!"
"Hakku, Imperator." He said, bowing.
"Come, Hakku, this honor is well-earned!"
Hakku sat with us, he was shy and soft-spoken. "I took to writing because I'm not good at much else." He said. "I've written ever since I could hold a pen, I've actually amassed enough of a collection of them that I'm not even a quarter of the way done with them."
"Hakku, would you be willing to take on the title of Councilor, to guide our entertainers, our storytellers, to give them the infrastructure they need to succeed?"
"Y-yes, Imperator." He said.
"I look forward to your contributions, Councilor."
Many others tried their hand on the stage, some were absolutely terrible, but everyone was a good sport about it.
As the feast dwindled to food scraps and bones, our Emperor stood and addressed the people.
"There will be no need to retrieve that which was brought down below." He spoke. "This is my domain, and I say now is the time for the symbol of our Empire to rise."
We all hurried to the outside of the town, far enough away that it was small in the distance. We watched as our Emperor channeled his divine power, raising up the entire town along with several strata of earth, before placing it nearby us and making it sink until it was flush with the ground. Then, his hands raised to the skies, Darastrixthurhi rose up from the ground, stone and dirt cascading off of it until what remained was a massive fortress structure.
Walls of stone rose, adjoining the fortress with the town.
Once the signal was given, we walked in, our homes untouched, undamaged, and looming over us was the fortress.
"Behold." Our Emperor spoke with such pride and reverence. "The Fortress-City of Darastrixthurhi, Thousands of empty homes awaiting our habitation, entire sections devoted and dedicated to the comfort and safety of our talented Warren." He looked at us. "The town we stand in is as much a part of it, is as much a vital aspect of our city. You are free to choose where you live, space is plentiful."
"Ah, but your Temple dwarfs mine." Bahamut spoke with a tone of humor.
"It is a fortress fit for Dragons." Our Emperor spoke. "Not a Temple to my glory. Nonetheless, I welcome you to my city as an honored guest, for you have done what no other would in these long years."
"I am honored." Bahamut replied. "May this day foretell many years of peace to come."
With the feast over, the Warren of course went in and explored the Fortress City more closely, marveling at the architecture, admiring the stonework. At the pinnacle of the city was the entrance from the underground. I gazed upon the throne and looked at my Emperor.
"Go." He said.
I ascended the stairs and sat down upon the throne. Even being made of stone, it was comfortable, with a pleasant little nook for my tail. My Emperor stood beside me, his hand on my shoulder. "Unburdened by endless stone, behold the lands beyond." He spoke. I could see for miles, all of the way to the enemy encampment.
"This city is going to need a lot of infrastructure." I remarked. I stood up and walked down the stairs, looking upon the staggered sections of the Fortress City, seeing the potential it had. I could see people gathering in a large empty space below, several people pointed up at me, I waved back.
"Councilors, gather!" I commanded. Within a handful of minutes, they had managed to get up here.
"You needed us, Imperator?" Tudru asked.
"I want you to look down, tell me what you see."
"A defensible position." Tudru spoke, as he looked down.
"A magnificent work of art." Hakku breathed.
"Dead stone, lifeless." Merti noted sadly.
"Nothing that's worth my time and effort." Tatla remarked.
"Long streets and narrow alleyways." Nakk observed.
"A logistical nightmare." Rekka sighed.
"A shrine to self, as delivered by our Emperor." Galax remarked dryly.
"A home, built for us." Tallyn stated hopefully.
"A mighty fortress that serves as the Empire's jewel." Kalith spoke.
"A very long drop." Goss muttered as he backed away.
"A giant fuckin' rock." Kuvli helpfully opined.
"Endless potential."
Everyone was startled when Fox stepped out of the shadows, he darted forward, catching Hakku as he almost fell. He pulled him back up and gave a formal bow. "Asgorath grant you steady footing." The Monk spoke. He turned his head slightly. "And less OSHA violations."
We couldn't help but laugh.
"Who is Osha?" Our Emperor asked. "Have I been unaware of someone who acts with more authority than they are allowed?"
"It's an acronym that stands for the Occupational Safety and Health Administration." I quickly explained. "Their whole thing is making sure workers have the proper safety precautions, and that companies adhere to those standards."
I looked at my Council. "Fox here is correct; endless potential." I said, "My Council, I want you all to gather a large team who can survey the Fortress City. I want empty spaces filled with enough dirt to produce food, I want a sustainable source of water, if at all possible. Infrastructure, trams throughout the main thoroughfares so that the people can get to where they need to go. I give you all free rein to bring Darastrixthurhi into its full glory. I am trusting each and every one of you with this."
They all saluted.
"Dismissed. Take it easy for the rest of the night, for tomorrow, your duty begins in earnest."
They all left.
"I believe we should heed such a command ourselves." My Emperor spoke. "Follow me."
I followed him into a series of hallways, at the far end of which led to a large bedroom. "I intended for this room to be the one in which I kept a harem of women, that I ensure my lineage remained." He looked at me. "Undress, my Imperator."
I did so, and he clipped the lead to my collar before gently, yet insistently pulling me toward a stone bed. He casually decorated it with soft blankets and sheets, and with a single push of one hand, he laid me upon the bed.
"Ruuk Stingtail." He spoke. "This is your reward for your fearless service to me, for daring to stare down a God, and to upstage him." He leaned closer and kissed me, my heart thundered as it wasn't simply a quick peck on the lips.
It was longer, deeper, and I loved every second of it.
​
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$1250/month✨ - INDIVIDUAL LEASE! (2023-2024)
FEMALES ONLY. <———
Hello! I am looking for someone to take over my roommate’s lease at Ryder for the 2023-2024 school year you can move in anytime of end of August - September 1
It is a PRIVATE bedroom and PRIVATE bathroom, fully furnished (2 dressers, desk+chair, full-size bed with mattress, couch and dining table for apartment) (Whole apartment is fully furnished for you including bedroom) Flat fee $35 for cable/watewifi/garbage, in-unit washedryer (included in rent) and pet friendly! ($25-50month for pets)
VERY close to UCD campus and bus stop if you just walk down the road (2-3 min walk to bus stop, 4-5 min drive to campus)
Lots of amenities: 24/7: pool/hot tub, bbq, pool table, skee ball, gym, frequent free food hosted from the leasing office, vending machines, QUIET STUDY ROOMS on every floor, own lock on your bedroom door, and parking (tandem or private parking).
2 female ucd students also reside in this apartment and they share a room and are very friendly, quiet, and respectful. One of the roommates has a cat.
YOU WILL BE PAYING: $1250/month + electricity + OPTIONAL: parking, pet(s). Electricity bill is anywhere from $55-85per month.
If you have any questions or need more photos, please let me know.

My first memory of losing something takes me back many years. I was still a kid, around 5 or maybe 6 years old. Back then, I enjoyed collecting little wooden toy animals. I had one particular favorite. Perhaps the reason I liked it so much was not because it was prettier than the others, but simply because I kept losing it. Despite being young and easily distracted, I vividly remember what happened.
I was playing on the floor of my room with the other little wooden figures when suddenly, I froze in place. There it was, lying right next to the leg of the chair, the little doe looking exactly as I remembered it. I eagerly picked it up, still unable to believe my eyes, and immediately included it in my game.
I was overjoyed, at least until I turned my head for a moment in the opposite direction. When I looked back to where I had left the doe, it was gone.
It may sound naive and silly, but even back then, I knew there was something strange about the whole situation. I searched every nook and cranny of my room, desperate to find it. However, it was nowhere to be found. I felt a sense of despair as if someone was playing a prank on me, deliberately hiding my toy.
I hadn't thought about this incident for years, and it had become deeply buried in my memory. It likely wouldn't have resurfaced if something hadn't happened to remind me of that day.
Now, at the age of 23, I live alone in a secluded town. I prefer tranquility and birdsong over the constant noise and hectic pace of city life. I have a cozy little house all to myself, the kind I had always dreamed of. It's a two-story house with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room, and a spacious garden filled with various flowers and peaceful corners where I can fully dedicate myself to work or reading.
On one of those quiet afternoons, I was reading a book on the sofa in my living room, accompanied by music playing from the record player. Suddenly, the record started screeching, producing unbearable sounds. I quickly jumped up and halted its spinning.
"I concentrate better in silence anyway," I thought to myself as I returned to my seat.
But then, something caught my eye. I'm not entirely sure how I noticed it, but there was a small part of something sticking out from behind the leg of the small table where I kept the record player. I bent down and picked it up. The moment I laid eyes on the little wooden doe, I recognized it. A wave of confusion washed over me, and I shivered.
"What are you doing here?" I wondered aloud. Could it have been tucked away somewhere in my belongings when I moved? That seemed unlikely, as I would have noticed it much sooner.
I went back to the couch, sat down, and continued to gaze at the toy. I knew it was the same one, without a doubt. It couldn't be a mere look-alike. I ran my fingers over its surface, feeling its texture once again—exactly as I remembered.
Was this some kind of prank? But I hadn't shared this story with anyone. Not a single soul.
I stared at the toy, unable to make up my mind to call someone. Suddenly the silence that filled the room didn't seem soothing to me but instead instilled fear and tension. I twirled the toy nervously in my hands until my eyes landed on something. Its stomach was carved with letters, perhaps signs. I didn't recognize them, I had never seen anything like them. And I was almost prejudiced that they were missing before.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from those strange markings on the wooden doe's stomach. They seemed to form a pattern, a language that was unfamiliar to me. It sent a shiver down my spine, and an unsettling feeling washed over me.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to investigate further. I reached for my phone, ready to snap a few pictures of the carvings, hoping that someone might recognize the symbols and provide some insight into their meaning. But as I held my phone up to take the pictures, suddenly the lights turned off.
The room was plunged into darkness, and I felt a chill crawl up my spine. I didn't realize how fast it got dark outside. Goosebumps formed on my arms, and an eerie silence settled in the air. Fear gripped me, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I was paralyzed, consumed by a sense of dread.
And then, the silence was shattered by a soft, haunting melody that seemed to emanate from nowhere and everywhere at once. The music was mournful, like a dirge, and it sent shivers down my spine. I could feel the weight of an unseen presence in the room, its presence heavy and oppressive.
Trembling, I fumbled for my phone, desperately trying to turn on the flashlight. But no matter how many times I pressed the power button, the screen remained dark. Panic rose within me as I realized that I was trapped in the darkness with whatever unseen entity had invaded my home.
The haunting melody grew louder, filling every corner of the room. Shadows danced and twisted, taking on grotesque forms that seemed to reach out toward me. I tried to scream, to call for help, but my voice failed me. It was as if an invisible force had stolen my ability to utter a sound.
Amid the chaos, my gaze was drawn back to the wooden doe clutched tightly in my hand. Its eyes seemed to glow with an otherworldly light, and for a brief moment, I could have sworn I saw movement within the tiny carved figure. It was as if the doe was alive, pulsating with an energy that was both mesmerizing and terrifying.
With a surge of desperation, I hurled the wooden doe away from me, hoping to break free from whatever curse it held. But as soon as it left my hand, the room fell silent. The oppressive presence vanished, and the darkness lifted, replaced by the soft glow of the lights.
I was left alone in the room, shaken and breathless. As I looked at the floor, I realized that the doe was no longer there. It has vanished once more.
I was relieved, thankful that the toy was gone.
But I don’t think it ever really was. Every night when I close my eyes that melody starts playing again, it becomes everything to me, leaving me unable to fall asleep. I'm uncertain if my sleepless nights are the cause of the increased instances of losing my belongings, but I have noticed a definite rise in such incidents following the event.
I'm afraid that over time, I might not only lose my belongings but also my mind.

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I'm trying to think how I wanna do my new apartment. I don't really have a need for a dining table so in that area I wanted to put like a little plate tent and have it like a little play area but I don't know how to explain it to my parents cause they're definitely going to see it. There is a whale light fixture in that area and my mom is like just put a table underneath so you don't bang your head but I'm making now I kind of want to put a Play tent I already don't have much room in my bedroom. I just don't know how to explain it to them really cause I don't know if they'll understand. I think my mom is somewhat caught on though, but I don't talk to my dad as much and his tends to be like stricter and more hard on me they were giving me crap to grow up in the past. I don't know if my dad would know my mom's gotten a lot better at least

*disclaimer*In efforts to not ‘out’ anyone in the group I will try to be as objective as possible.
This is a story of how our creepy Felon DM destroyed his own group.
On a D&D Facebook group our DM posted that he was looking to start a campaign the group would meet every other week and will take place in the Wild West, and must be 21+ years old there will be drinking and smoking, we live in a state where recreational marijuana is legal. After the group was formed he sent us some history/ lore of his setting. This setting was to mirror the events/cultures and technologies of the Wild West in America, with 5e races being used to represent real life/ historical cultures. For example: elves and goliaths were native americans, minotaurs and orcs were slaves forced to work on railroads, etc you get the picture, a very ‘racial’ setting. This could be seen as problematic and there were POC in the group. This could be seen as offensive, but all this knowledge was known before our first session so we all joined the group willingly.
Session 0 we met at a local game store to create characters and go over backgrounds. After everyone introduced themselves, the DM mentioned he is a veteran DM as well as a fluent German speaker, a professional photographer and a general contractor, also he runs a buisness, what can’t this guy do? Additionally he runs multiple groups every other week, he said he has tons of material and was contracted by Games Workshop to produce a rpg setting in the wild west and that we were fortunate enough to be his test subjects. The session 0 group consisted of: Fighter (male), Monk(male), Cleric(female), Paladin(male), Bloodhunter (male), Druid(female). With Fighter and Druid being new players. The whole group got along well and a majority are still friends to this day.
Before the next session Monk dropped from the group saying he was going through a divorce and couldn't commit to the group. Then the DM found 2 new players, enter Necromancer(male) and Rogue(male).
Session 1 the group was tasked with gathering information on disappearing citizens in a large city. It was believed that a crime lord was kidnapping people for experiments. Lets call the crime lord JB. The group visited an underground fighting ring where JB was rumored to be. Cleric paid JB’s personal champion a visit to try and uncover additional information on the kidnappings. The champion was aggressively hitting on cleric and after cleric failed a couple charisma saving throws DM said “you have sex with him…and by the way he rocks your world”. A major red flag, a dm should never take away player agency and even worse make them sleep with an npc. Then the party escaped the fighting ring, knocking out a couple guards on the way and even stuffing one into a bag of holding.
Next session the DM brought in a new player, Enter Barbarian (female) 18 years old. I bring this up because the DM's original post said you must be 21+. Barbarian is a new player and was looking to join a party on the facebook group. The DM reached out to her and they met over coffee to go over her character. The DM is almost 50 years old and this seemed a little weird. Don’t get me wrong Barbarian was a great addition to the group and an excellent Roleplayer. It's just weird to me that the DM went against his own rules to seek out a minor to join the group. Also in this session the DM had the party visit a Brothel to acquire an elixir that could wipe the memory of the guard we had stuffed in the bag of holding. The DM role played some rather sexual experiences with the group, Barbarian included. He also had NPC’s hit on barbarian, for example: a gnome shopkeeper who was obsessed with her goliath size and boobs, he gave her a discount on goods if she would cradle him like a baby close to her breasts. This was her first session ever….
Also important to mention again that we had 3 brand new players to D&D, they often needed help with their characters or reiteration of the rules when it came down to combat. Almost every time we tried helping a player, the DM would lecture “Guys quit Metagaming” and we’d argue that we are just helping the newbies, Dm would still insist “Yeah but it's still meta gaming”. Oftentimes we were found helping our players either when the DM was away or busy with another player.
A few sessions pass and the group finds the kidnapped individuals in a warehouse, they escape with them through the sewers while being pursued by JB and his men. The group was tasked with bringing these kidnapped npc’s to a refugee camp outside of the city. Paladin had to miss a few sessions for personal reasons. Not to worry, the DM still used Paladin's character in the next session without Paladin’s consent of course.
Next session JB sent a group of trained mercenaries after the group. The DM had Paladin (player is not present) stay back and keep a look out for the npc group following them. He had a sending stone to alert the party if he saw anything suspicious. Eventually the mercenary group captured Paladin. With a gun to Paladin's head the mercenaries confronted the group of PC’s and offered Paladins life in exchange for the kidnapped npc’s. The party initiated the combat in an attempt to save Paladin. As a reaction the Mercenary leader put an eldritch blast powered bullet in the back of Paladin's head. Paladin was dead.
A note about Paladin. Paladin was a beloved character of the group. He was your typical lawful innocent good boy that did everything by the book, he was roleplayed very well with a hilarious character voice. Paladin will be missed.
The pc’s barely survived this encounter. They made it to camp and tried to revive Paladin but Necromancer took Paladin's soul while everyone was asleep (a story for another time, Necromancer deserves his own story). Once Paladins Player returned to the sessions he was made aware of his character's death and rerolled a ranger. Also Blood Hunter's wife joined the party, enter Bard.
The group then wanted to take the paladin's body to his father who was a leader of the church. On the way the party encounters a carnival. A majority of our campaign was spent at this damn carnival. The party checks out the carnival and physically can't escape because of demon magic? The carnival was run by demons and did not let people leave, they used captured people for sacrifices or turned them into carnies/attractions if they were deemed worthy. Most of the party became charmed by the demons and had to do what the DM said. Funny thing is that Rogue made a comment about taking away player agency when failing charisma saves in a prior session, now the party is being magically charmed left and right. Druid escapes to tell Paladin's Dad about what happened and to get help. Blood hunter murders a ton of demons escaping from captivity, which was a really cool scene. This leads us to the end of this campaign.
Throughout the campaign, Necromancer has been collecting bodies and souls to raise an army of the undead. Necromancer makes a deal with the demons and the demons give him powers. All of this is happening on the side between dm and necromancer away from the table so no one besides dm and necromancer knows what's going on. Barbarian failed to make some important saving throws and was under the demon's control. Then Necromancer raises an undead army and takes the brain washed barbarian to fight the rest of the party PVP. At this point a majority of the group just wanted everything to end and additionally Rogue was arguing with the DM more often over very simple rules that the DM was obviously wrong about. For Example DM argued “you can’t move and attack on your turn you have to pick one or the other” to which Rogue argued. “You can, it's in the 5e rules it's a part of the action economy”.
Final session Rogue goes down in some PVP and is making death saves and asks barbarian to “just fucking kill me”. To which DM shouts “THIS IS MY FUCKING GAME AND I SAY WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES”. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, everything just seemed awkward and out of place. Necromancer died for like the 4th time and was still probably not dead. Paladin's dad showed up to fight demons and then the cleric saved everyone with holy light and teleported them out of the demon carnival.
At one point Cleric backs out of the group due to personal reasons. And to be fair the DM ignored her constantly, she commuted a long way to play in this group and rarely got to play.The session before she left was a 5 hour combat session, she only got 5 minutes of actual game pla.Then more people started leaving the group,some had valid excuses, others just left without saying anything. Apart from the incidents that I mentioned there were other issues with the DM, many of which were just blatant lies. Examples include:

• Fighter was a brand new player and sometimes his turns would take longer than others because he was trying to figure out what to do, as most new players do. The DM would get irritated and lecture the whole group “Everyone should know their characters by now, there's no excuse to take this long on your turn.” And then we’d get yelled at if we tried to help.
• One session German “cheers” was made by Cleric who spent some time in Germany. The DM had no idea what the word ‘Prost” meant, which is just a German cheer for drinking. I don't think the DM spoke German.
• Next At Druid's birthday celebration He offered to take “professional pictures” of her as a birthday gift. This is kind of creepy if you ask me, funny to mention Druid looks almost identical to Dm’s ex wife.
• DM is not a licensed professional photographer, nor is he a licensed contractor nor is he a owner of a business..at least anymore that is. Turns out DM did own a non profit that serviced the homeless community. However, DM was arrested with 8 felony charges for stealing $349,000.00 from his non-profit the year earlier. This wasn't known to the group until a player google searched dm’s name. His mug shot was the first thing that popped up along with a TV news segment about him.
• Also I highly doubt Games Workshop was working with the DM on a setting that mostly took place in a carnival. Also GamesWorkshop wouldn’t use 5e as means of playing the setting they have their own game system.
• The Campaign was very….. Not western. We were in a metropolis or a carnival most of the time. The DM did minimal role playing so the world never felt immersed, unless it was to hit on our female players, then dm role played.
• Physically picking up Druid to prove some kind of point about weight?
• Farting! Omg the farting he would constantly rip in front of people at the table and wouldn’t leave to use the restroom.
• People were constantly ignored or their turns just out right skipped. I get there were like 9 people including the DM and that is a lot to manage, however the way the DM talked himself up this seemed like this should be a walk in the park.

After leaving the wild west d&d group some of the players started a new group and are still playing to this day and a lot of close friendships were made.
A tip to players and DMs everywhere: establish boundaries at session 0, don’t take away the players freedom, don’t kill your PC’s players when they’re away, also if something seems weird, google search your player or dm if their mug shot immediately pops up that might not be a good sign.
TLDR; Controlling DM lies about himself to his players, turns out to be a creep and a felon.

I have a brother in law (M32, he is my wife's brother) who is married (F32) with two kids (6 and 1). He and his wife are arguing a lot and I kind of want to hear some takes from people outside of the family that can maybe help me get a clear view on solutions for them. i feel like i'm biased against the wife. not at first but over time after talking with them both after the big incident. but i want outside opinion to help me wrestle with what's happening.
They've been married for about 7 years and have known each other since high school. Most of their time dating had been long distance then they got married and started living together and i think that's kind of when they started arguing all the time.
Recently they got into an argument about reading books to their oldest child before bed time. the husband was working from home at the moment and said he'll read to their child once he's done. but the wife was upset that it's starting to get late and he's not doing it yet so they're arguing. he then goes to put the child to bed, carrying the child in his arms. and in doing so also walk away from the argument when the wife tries to take the daughter away, wanting to put the child to sleep herself.
the husband pushes the wife back because she's grabbing at the kid without him wanting to pass the kid off. then he continues to the bedroom. the wife chases after him and he turns his body around, using his shoulder to keep the wife from grabbing at the child. the husband and daughter go to bed. the wife then calls the husband's parents who they live with but were out of town at the moment. she tells them that he pushed her and that she wants to call the police. they advise her not to because doing so would have irreparable consequences. also, she's not injured or anything.
after the husband is in bed for like 30 minutes, the wife calls the cops anyways and says her husband pushed her. they come and arrest him. he spent time in jail waiting trial. he couldn't get out on bail because of some BS about being arrested late at night and the system automatically skipping over the time period where he could pay bail. but he was eventually released and there wasn't a trial because the state decided not to do anything about it.
now he has ptsd in his own home and gets flashbacks of cop lights and sirens when he sees the front door of his house. and he also has an arrest but not a prosecution on his record.
Key points in the background of their lives:

1. the husband is highly capable and pushes people to be highly capable as well.
2. it can be a lot of pressure for people and he's kinda of controlling and forceful in it. he has a bit of a temper. like when his cousin sent him a resume to look over and he corrected some stuff and asked her to send it back to him so he can use his connections to get her a good paying job. but she procrastinated months later applied and took a job at a low paying company. also was waiting for a response from a company she would rather go to but the low paying company said their job needs to be responded to ASAP so she called the other company she wanted and told them to take her out of the running. he yelled at her on the phone until she was in tears for not going through him and also for turning down a better job she could have gotten.
3. as harsh as that is, it seems that he shows love through trying to get people in his life to find financial success and has helped many people this way. a lot of his time is spent with work, planning for new ways to make more money and working with people some sort of side hustle, and resting with watching soccer or watching tv with his parents as they've done since his childhood.
4. the wife had a lot of help from him to have her current career. with her resumes to her application tests to helping her lean her skills. They both work in a technical field.
5. the husband always sends money to the wife's family. getting her father out of getting arrested by paying off her father's debt and also just to support them all the time. This started from when the couple was struggling financially and is still ongoing now that they're making more money.
6. the couple lives together with the husband's parents.
7. the husband's parents help clean the house and care of the kids
8. now that they are making more money, the husband wants the wife to start to contribute to her family as well instead of it being just him.
9. she doesn't want that. and argues about it. she wants instead to be in charge of both their incomes and decides what her family gets from a join account instead of separate accounts like they currently have.
10. the husband mostly does the bigger house duties like cleaning their pool and roof stuff and repairs. his parents do the cleaning in the house and cooks. and the wife cleans the dishes and raises the kids along with doing her job.
11. the wife is upset that the husband doesn't help her clean the dishes but instead watches tv with his parents after dinner. he think's it's ok because his parents are doing a lot of the house work. she also doesn't want the parents there but at the same time needs their help because she and him won't be able to care for the children, do their work, and clean the house. he offers to get a maid but she's very much against the idea because of the price and rather that he puts more effort at home.
12. wife is also upset that they don't spend enough time together romantically. like vacations and stuff. he tends to plan them to bring his parents along. he says he doesn't want to make his parents babysit while the couple goes out because it's unfair to the parents who don't even want to be in their country and want to return to their home country.
13. the parents stayed with them at first to help with caring for the children. they planned on staying for about 2 years. but they extended their stay because the couple argues so much and they feel like they need to be there to talk them down and help resolve the arguments. they actually didn't want to go on their vacation during the arrest as long as they did with fear of the couple fighting. but husband said it needed to be done as a test run for their relationship.
14. the husband has tried to compromise by helping with house work but the wife is still upset because she wants more help from him.
15. this is an ongoing thing in that he compromises but she stays angry and doesn't address the efforts he makes. she doesn't seem to recognize that this was a problem until i pointed it out.
16. also it's an ongoing thing that she would be upset about things like not going on vacation or dates but not tell him until she is so upset she yells.
17. she doesn't like how much money he spends on things. like if there's ice cream he likes at costco but she thinks it's too expensive, she would scold him and be mad for a few days. he says it's his money he's spending. but it's part of why she wants control of their accounts. also she gets mad enough to insult him on this. like he went to coldstone and him and the kids were offered free ice cream. so he gave them a large tip. it's about half the cost of the ice cream. and she was mad at him for that and claims he likes to show off his wealth. which i think she doesn't actually believe but wanted to say to hurt him.
18. also they repeatedly made rules or promises to not argue in front of their children but the wife instigates arguments anyways. she says it's because she gets so mad even though she knows she shouldn't. and it's not argument only but i believe she insults him in front of their kids. i believe so because i told her that doing that was bad for the kids and she accepted it as something she is wrong for doing without verbally admitting to it.
19. talking with the husband made me feel like he neglects his own happiness and emotional health for his duty to his family, both immediate and extended. i felt a lack of love in his life. he was overly touched that me and my wife flew down to help with the wife with the kids and the house while he was in jail. also his cousins helped him out as well when he got out of jail and with legal advice. It was like he doesn't expect anyone but his parents to help him when life gets hard.
20. she disagrees with how he parents. he scolds and sometimes spanks the child. i side with her against this. but don't know if that's a factor here.

i talked with them both and find that the husband tends to try to defend his wife and her family. i find it fishy that her family won't tell him how much money they need. but he says he doesn't want to be suspicious of them, preferring to see them in a possible good light. they stay vague about it and keep asking him for more. the amount he wants her to contribute to them is less than what he paid them when he had her current salary and he's still paying more now.
i also find that when talking with her, she tries to get me to side with her against him by telling me a different story than she would tell my wife which is different from what she tells her parents which is different from what she tells his parents. they're aren't lies but more lies by omission. and letting us come to incorrect conclusions that support her even if she knows we're basing it on incomplete information due to how she tells it. like she never mentioned the child being involved in their argument or being in his arms when she was pushed to my wife for that she was chasing after him while he was trying to get away from the argument. instead she tells my wife that the husband pushed her over and over again. this made it sound like she thinks the husband went violently nuts. which is extremely out of character but we thought that maybe the wife was still upset and wasn't thinking clearly and just felt like that. slowly we got a clearer and clearer picture from him and confirmed them with her to know the truth. but i think she wouldn't tell us the full truth unless we knew all of it first to ask. i also find this behavior fishy.
originally i thought she just wanted more one on one time with him and calling the cops was a cry for help because she doesn't feel like she could talk with him because of his temper or how direct and blunt he can be. but as i got to speak with her more, now it seems like she's just emotionally immature, gets mad when things don't go her way, and doesn't say what she wants ever unless it's through yelling and feeling like a victim if things aren't naturally going her way. nothing she gets mad about gets solidified in words. they stay ethereal until it's a problem. she doesn't seem to know how to negotiate and leans toward passive aggressive strategies to get what she wants. and she tends to hold resentment towards him so she stays upset at his efforts to compromise instead of talking about exactly what she wants and how they can try to get acceptable results where they both can be happy. these are things he tries to do. he asks her things and tries to talk but she gets mad and walks away. then after he doesn't go after her she runs to him to yell. she doesn't seem to take accountability in needing to try to negotiate. she said it's not in her nature to tell people what she thinks or wants.
i guess that's everything i can think of. what's everyone's take on this? i'm trying my best to list out all the facts but it all seems to heavily skew against the wife. was she right to call the cops? was he right to be arrested? he seems to think what he did was wrong and that he shouldn't have pushed her and she was right to call the cops. but i feel like he was protecting the child from being ripped from his arms. it was brought up to her and she treated it as if she was being accused of intending to harm her child which she said she would never do but that wasn't what anyone meant. also she wasn't in immediate danger nor did she feel like he was a threat to her in any way. she told my wife that she had to call the cops because if she doesn't do it now, what if he does it again in the future. but she didn't want him arrested nor does she believe he would ever hit her. she expected them to scold him like they would have done in their home country. also, what about their marriage? can the wife understand how to communicate her wants? can it be fixed?
edit: i forgot. in the past, in one of their arguments, she had hit him with a pillow and he blocked her with a pillow but in a way that it hit her a bit and she went to his parents and said that he hit her. they had to ask to find out that she was hitting him first. when i asked her if he ever hit her before and she said yes with a pillow. and i asked if she ever hit him or hit him first, she said no. but later on, in a separate conversation between her and his parents, she admitted to hitting him first with the pillow.
TLDR: brother in law was arrested for pushing his wife. i think he was right to do so to protect his kid. he thinks he was in the wrong as any sort of push is wrong. i think his wife is emotionally immature based on what i see as passive aggressive actions and lies by omission vs the husband trying to give and understand things honestly. was he right or wrong in doing so? can this relationship work? am i biased against the wife? any advice?

Summer is cancelled and Icewind Dale is screwed unless you can figure out what the hell is going on...

Hello, my friends! My name is Alex. I've run this campaign twice before and I'm pretty excited to see what kind of horrible wackiness we can get up to this time around! This will be an above average experience if I can help it and I hope to make tons of friends along the way! If you're into roleplaying, jokes, subversion of expectation, mystery, whimsy, or simply "clownin' around", if you like Dimension 20 or anything Brennan Lee Mulligan or Emily Axford does, or if you're looking for a D&D game with a mix of goofy, weird, stupid, and serious with a splash of storytelling pizzazz, then this is the game for you!!!I recognize that this is supposed to be an overall serious campaign, and it is, don't get me wrong! But I'm a pretty wacky guy and this game will lean less on the harsh atmosphere and more into the interconnected story threads, personal plots if they arise, and the fear that something more powerful than you could be hiding around any corner. Utilizing Foundry VTT, I've been able to enhance the adventure with musical themes and sound effects for most scenes, automation, and animations for tons of spells, quest tracking, and several leveled maps with dynamically changing walls, lighting, and 3d vision calculation!
Icewind Dale Player Commercial
Let me tell you a bit about myself, though...
I come from a writing, directing, and video production background and have been putting these skills to good use at my digital gaming table for over 3 years now. I'm hoping I can apply the skills I'm good at to provide an above average experience to new and experienced players alike. I love to get into character and on top of accents here and there, I have my video feed switch to show images of significant NPCs when possible, not to mention all the music I have picked out for each unique encounter. I spend time picking from backstories and integrating fun easter eggs/story content for each player.
Overall, I'm a goofy guy, looking to land a joke whenever possible, but I have a knack for narrative thread and always set out to weave an interesting tale.
"...The overall value on your end was worth it, 100%. You ran an engaging, entertaining game and I enjoyed being one of your players." - Previous Player
"...This has been one of the best roleplaying experiences I've had!" - Current Player
"...You are a great and creative DM. I appreciate the effort you put in." - Current Player
Read more reviews on my StartPlaying profile
To get a sense of my style, feel free to check out episodes of my previous Witchlight campaign where two of our players will be joining us from. The Wild Beyond Playlist

Game Details and Extras

• Open to players of all experience levels.
• I lean heavily on the concept of "yes, and..." I like to go with the flow of what you're putting down and tend not to "no, but..." unless it conflicts with existing world elements...
• I'll work with you outside (and inside) of the game to build a character that fits into the setting and story line. I like to spread bits of information out across players so they can roleplay to put them together.
• Character creation will be done on dndbeyond and you will have access to a vast majority of the sourcebook bundle to choose from, as far as races and classes go, for as long as you remain in the game.
• Previous games have been 60/40 roleplay/combat with the potential swings in either direction depending on the chapter, but the ending chapters do lean into combat much more.
• Although I'll be running the main essence of the module, I'll be adapting bits as necessary to help with story flow, mystery, and suspense, as well as incorporating character backstory here and there.
• We will be running the official Rime of the Frostmaiden module with all the included maps and artwork (that I've digitally enhanced), including a number of extra maps and NPC art I've collected or created personally. All of these with dynamic lighting effects and.
• A number of maps have been expanded utilizing Forgotten Adventures beautiful assets.
• Due to the voice and video content, our game will be played with voice and video through discord. Please have a decent microphone.
• We will be using Foundry VTT for play, but you will still create characters in dndbeyond to be imported over. Foundry has outdone Roll20 in my opinion and has a large number of modules to help with combat automation, attack animations, music, sound effects, lighting effects, time tracking, etc. Additionally, there are a number of per-user settings you can customize such as choosing your own on screen 3d dice, picking animations for the summoning of your various beast or familiars, turning down the music, etc
• I have collected a large number of sound effects, music, and ambiences that I incorporate into each scene. I like to hand pick songs to accompany each unique encounter, with variations depending on possible outcomes.
• I try to change my voice to imitate various monsters and NPCs and utilize imagery in my webcam for all significant characters who have art in the book.
• Foundry has the potential to be processor intensive and a decent computer is recommended, but there are settings that can be lowered to allow for some lower end machines.
• Sessions are streamed live on Twitch and then archived on YouTube.
• $15 per session.

How to Apply

Quick google form, post here, or DM me if you have questions.
Player Application

Summer is cancelled and Icewind Dale is screwed unless you can figure out what the hell is going on...

Hello, my friends! My name is Alex. I've run this campaign twice before and I'm pretty excited to see what kind of horrible wackiness we can get up to this time around! This will be an above average experience if I can help it and I hope to make tons of friends along the way! If you're into roleplaying, jokes, subversion of expectation, mystery, whimsy, or simply "clownin' around", if you like Dimension 20 or anything Brennan Lee Mulligan or Emily Axford does, or if you're looking for a D&D game with a mix of goofy, weird, stupid, and serious with a splash of storytelling pizzazz, then this is the game for you!!!I recognize that this is supposed to be an overall serious campaign, and it is, don't get me wrong! But I'm a pretty wacky guy and this game will lean less on the harsh atmosphere and more into the interconnected story threads, personal plots if they arise, and the fear that something more powerful than you could be hiding around any corner. Utilizing Foundry VTT, I've been able to enhance the adventure with musical themes and sound effects for most scenes, automation, and animations for tons of spells, quest tracking, and several leveled maps with dynamically changing walls, lighting, and 3d vision calculation!
Icewind Dale Player Commercial
Let me tell you a bit about myself, though...
I come from a writing, directing, and video production background and have been putting these skills to good use at my digital gaming table for over 3 years now. I'm hoping I can apply the skills I'm good at to provide an above average experience to new and experienced players alike. I love to get into character and on top of accents here and there, I have my video feed switch to show images of significant NPCs when possible, not to mention all the music I have picked out for each unique encounter. I spend time picking from backstories and integrating fun easter eggs/story content for each player.
Overall, I'm a goofy guy, looking to land a joke whenever possible, but I have a knack for narrative thread and always set out to weave an interesting tale.
"...The overall value on your end was worth it, 100%. You ran an engaging, entertaining game and I enjoyed being one of your players." - Previous Player
"...This has been one of the best roleplaying experiences I've had!" - Current Player
"...You are a great and creative DM. I appreciate the effort you put in." - Current Player
Read more reviews on my StartPlaying profile
To get a sense of my style, feel free to check out episodes of my previous Witchlight campaign where two of our players will be joining us from. The Wild Beyond Playlist

Game Details and Extras

• Open to players of all experience levels.
• I lean heavily on the concept of "yes, and..." I like to go with the flow of what you're putting down and tend not to "no, but..." unless it conflicts with existing world elements...
• I'll work with you outside (and inside) of the game to build a character that fits into the setting and story line. I like to spread bits of information out across players so they can roleplay to put them together.
• Character creation will be done on dndbeyond and you will have access to a vast majority of the sourcebook bundle to choose from, as far as races and classes go, for as long as you remain in the game.
• Previous games have been 60/40 roleplay/combat with the potential swings in either direction depending on the chapter, but the ending chapters do lean into combat much more.
• Although I'll be running the main essence of the module, I'll be adapting bits as necessary to help with story flow, mystery, and suspense, as well as incorporating character backstory here and there.
• We will be running the official Rime of the Frostmaiden module with all the included maps and artwork (that I've digitally enhanced), including a number of extra maps and NPC art I've collected or created personally. All of these with dynamic lighting effects and.
• A number of maps have been expanded utilizing Forgotten Adventures beautiful assets.
• Due to the voice and video content, our game will be played with voice and video through discord. Please have a decent microphone.
• We will be using Foundry VTT for play, but you will still create characters in dndbeyond to be imported over. Foundry has outdone Roll20 in my opinion and has a large number of modules to help with combat automation, attack animations, music, sound effects, lighting effects, time tracking, etc. Additionally, there are a number of per-user settings you can customize such as choosing your own on screen 3d dice, picking animations for the summoning of your various beast or familiars, turning down the music, etc
• I have collected a large number of sound effects, music, and ambiences that I incorporate into each scene. I like to hand pick songs to accompany each unique encounter, with variations depending on possible outcomes.
• I try to change my voice to imitate various monsters and NPCs and utilize imagery in my webcam for all significant characters who have art in the book.
• Foundry has the potential to be processor intensive and a decent computer is recommended, but there are settings that can be lowered to allow for some lower end machines.
• Sessions are streamed live on Twitch and then archived on YouTube.
• $15 per session.

How to Apply

Quick google form, post here, or DM me if you have questions.
Player Application

Parade
Holly and Grove’s tree outfits were well received, earning second only to Waveria and Pike’s pool tarp couture outfits.
Training
Holly and Grove threw axes side by side, and apparently had agreed to ally the night before. Waveria swam in the pool and threw a trident, while Pike worked with rope and fish hooks.
Meanwhile Henna and Jerry (both 2) threw spears, and Janina and Helios (both 2) used swords. Intel and Gene (both 3) hid in the electrical station, while Gianna (5) and Decatur (6) worked in the camouflage station. Hemma and Roy (both 8) worked on sewing armor, while Anne (9) and Julian (10) sparred with machetes. Lilibet (11) worked in the plant station, while Jedediah (12) worked in the medical station.
Assessments
Waveria threw tridents and scored a 7, while Pike showed a display on how to easily tie up another tribute using a fish hook and rope. Holly and Grove threw axes with strong precision and scored 7s.
Other strong scores included Janina scoring a 9, Helios scoring a 10, and Jedediah scoring an 8.
Weaker scores included Intelle, Hemma, and Lilibet at the bottom of the pack scoring 3s.
Odds
Waveria was given odds of 6 to 1, while Holly and Grove had odds of 7 to 1. Pike had odds of 10 to 1.
Interviews
Euphemia Demigloss wore a golden dress in honor of District 2’s victory the previous year.
When it was Waveria’s turn, she spoke of wanting to win for her sister, and to prove that the BlueStar family could produce victors.
Pike talked about being an expert with rope and fishhooks, and how he hoped to win.
Holly explained that she wanted to be a table maker, but being a victor would be just as good.
Grove said that his ax skills were strong, and he looked forward to proving this in the arena.
Game Maker Juliana Ricci was interviewed next, and she gave her clue word, which this Games was “space.”
Tube Rooms
The next morning the tributes were dressed and flown to the arena, and had their trackers placed in their arms halfway through. They were taken to their tube rooms upon arrival.
Steward visited Waveria first, and gave her a hug and wished her luck. He then visited Pike, and told him to find a place to hide.
Mahogany visited Holly first, and wished her luck, and when he visited Grove, it became apparent that Mahogany thought Grove was more likely to win when he said this to the young man, hugging him.
Once all 24 tributes were in their tubes, they rose up into the arena.