So I get that I can easily create shortcuts to a web page on my homescreen, and even collect those into folders on my homescreen.
But that's not what I want.
I would like to go into a folder in my file system on android using solid explorer (a folder such as /storage/emulated/0/Download/Links/) and see a bunch of URL files, or LNK files, or whatever, that I can then click them and they will open the browser and direct to the selected web pages.
Just like on a PC.
I don't mind creating the file myself, if I know how. What do I need to do to achieve this?
I have tried creating a file that ends in .URL, or .LNK, with the following syntax within it:
[InternetShortcut] URL=https://www.mywebpage.com
And have also tried just the URL address, itself without the intro part.
Neither worked. This instead just opens the browser, which in turn opens the downloads page and tries to download a copy of this .URL file.
Can anyone help? Please & Thank You
P.S.
Maybe there's an app that add this functionality to the share menu?
I thought Solid Explorer would do that, but their "Save to..." share-menu function, creates a file with the same problematic result as above 🤷🏻‍♂️

Previously unannounced press conference, May 31, 2023.

Cameras are rolling as the owner of Mann Corporation, Shay D. Mann, hair in a perfectly put-together part, adorned in a navy suit and white tie, steps forward to a podium, in front of a WiR backdrop, microphone in hand.
Mann: My name is Shay Duncan Mann. And I am the new owner and proprietor of Wrestling is Reddit. I can assure you that your beloved Allen Paisner will be returning in the future, however, he could not make tonight's show due to some…
Mann smirks.
Mann: Legal complications. But fear not, I’ll be taking his place in the booth tonight.
The crowd erupts with applause and cheers, eager to witness the rebirth of their beloved wrestling promotion, even without Paisner for the evening.
Mann: Tonight, we embark on an exhilarating journey, as WiR takes a bold leap forward. I stand before you not just as the owner, but as a “fan”—a fan who understands the passion and dedication that this community shares for the world of wrestling.
Mann tries to hide a grimace as he proclaims his “fandom”. The crowd anticipates Mann’s next move
Mann: For too long, WiR has been dormant, unable to proceed, some of the talent trapped in Europe with no way home. But this, is no more! Today, we resurrect the spirit of WiR, bringing it back to life with a bang! And what better way to open things up by “Sounding Off"! Presented by the one and only, Dexter Flux
The crowd gives an actual cheer with genuine enthusiasm at the mention of Flux, their sort of god-king.
Mann: "Sound Off" isn't just a name; it's a rallying cry! It's a call for all of you, the WiR faithful, to voice your opinions, to express your passion, and to join us in this incredible journey. This event will be a celebration of everything that makes WiR special—the wrestling, the community, and the shared experiences that bring us all together.
The press conference crowd, whose papering becomes increasingly obvious the more Mann talks, is enthusiastic, as they eagerly hang onto Shay D. Mann's every word, perhaps a little too eagerly.
Mann: Tonight, in this very ring, our talented roster will ignite your imagination, deliver jaw-dropping performances, and create moments that will be etched in your memories forever. Sound Off! will leave you on the edge of your seats, craving for more.
The crowd roars with the excitement of a hair dryer pop.
Mann: But this is not just a show; it's a community. Together, we'll embrace the highs and lows, the victories and defeats. We'll share our opinions, engage in spirited debates, and build something truly remarkable. WiR is your platform—your voice will be heard!
The crowd erupts once again, their cheers echoing through the arena, showcasing their dedication to WiR, or getting paid to be there
Mann: So, my friends, get ready to immerse yourselves in the magic of WiR once again. Open your hearts, open your minds, and let the exhilaration of "Sound Off" wash over you! Tonight, we begin a new era—one that will redefine the landscape of this sport. Welcome back to WiR, my friends. Because Wrestling… is Revived.
With a sly smile, Shay D. Mann raises his microphone high, signaling the start of the show, as things fade to a video of Dexter Flux. His face is slightly out of frame as the camera points to his chest and chin.
Crowd: YEEEEAAAHHHHHH WE LOVE FLUX! WE LOVE FLUX!
Flux: Hey, it’s me, Dexter Flux. Welcome, uh, welcome you know, back to wrestl- Ugh, sorry, something was like, in my throat. Wrestling is Reddit. Welcome back to Wrestling is Reddit. This is House Party.

Knott's Berry Farm, June 1st, 2023.

With that rousing introduction, we now cut back to the day of, with a drone shot of the ring set up at Knott’s Berry Farm, fans on makeshift stands in the berry field, a parking lot and farmhouse off in the far distance, before [off brand royalty free music] begins to play!
Crowd: YEEEAAHHHH
Through the makeshift curtain, Tony “The Milkman” Stevens appears, wearing a pair of off-blue tights with cow white print, a single blue elbow pad on the left side, with a pair of gloved hands- in which, he holds a pristine white umbrella. The Milkman points his umbrella right down the lens of the camera…
Milkman: Good to be back, fellas, and good to see you, Mr. Cameraman! Been a while.
Mann: And here comes the Milkman, and a huge ovation from this crowd! But no Horde jacket with him!
Woodbridge: Or any jacket. But we’re in Anaheim, its hot out
Mann You’re right. But he did prepare for rain.
The Milkman hands off his umbrella to a fan at ringside, before sliding under the bottom rope, and ascending the left hard camera turnbuckle, firing up the crowd, before doing a backflip off the top rope, and into the ring!
Crowd: YEEAAAAHHHHHH
The Camera cuts back to the entranceway, as the music changes, to Skillet
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO
Jericho Styles appears on the ramp, adorned in an Allen Iverson Nuggets Jersey. He blows off a fan’s high five attempt, before sliding into the ring and taking a position opposite of Stevens.
Babaganoush: WiR fans… welcome to Anaheim California, the beautiful Knotts Berry Farm! Welcome! To Sound Off! Presented by Dexter Flux.
Crowd: W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R!
Banaganoush: Our opening contest is scheduled for one fall to a finish. Introducing first, to my right… wrestling out San Jose California, weighing in at 217 pounds, Jericho… Styles!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Babaganoush: And his opponent, to my left. Weighing in at 208 pounds…
Crowd begins to rise
Babaganoush: Wrestling out of… Brooklyn, New York! Tony… “The Milkmaaannnnnnn” Stevens!
Crowd erupts into indiscriminate cheers
DING DING DING
The Milkman and Styles circle each other as the bell rings, before Styles takes the initiative with a lock up attempt, which he quickly transitions to a rear waist lock. Milkman thinks on his feet, and grabs the arm of Styles lifting it above his head, and turning to break the lock, before using it to get behind Jericho, who uses his size advantage to overpower Stevens and apply a hammerlock, using the position to turn Stevens around, and take him down to the mat with an arm drag, maintaining control of the arm, which he quickly leverages into a pinfall…
ONE
Milkman gets his free shoulder up!
Crowd: Yay!
Woodbridge: JZ leveraging some technical skill here in the opening moments of this one, but can’t keep the Milkman down!
Mann: Only one count for Styles
Styles refuses to relinquish his grip on the arm, and as Stevens gets up, pushes him back into the corner before he can balance himself. Styles whips Stevens across the ring to the other corner, before charging in and being met with Milkman’s knee! Stevens capitalizes on his newly made opening by delivering a sharp kick to the chest of Styles, before whipping him against the ropes. Styles charges back, and tries to use his momentum to catch Stevens with a hip toss, but can only get Stevens a few inches of height off the ground before the Milkman lands on his feet, lifts and Styles up for an atomic drop, which forces him to let go of Stevens. With his arm now free, The Milkman plants himself, and delivers a [devastating lariat]. With what self-preservation he has left, Styles rolls to the outside, and onto the grass.
Woodbridge: And The Milkman just leveled Styles with that lariat!
Mann: Not something we’re quite used to seeing from Stevens, some hard strikes early in this one that really seemed to throw Styles off his game.
Styles pulls himself up by the barricade, to the direct ire of front-row fans who continue to heckle him. Back in the ring, Stevens throws himself off the far-end ropes, charges in for a dive… before Styles ducks down to avoid being hit. Stevens doesn’t change speed, and instead, throws himself between the ropes for a 6-1-9 that hits nothing but air, launching himself back into the ring, and landing on his feet. After this feat of dexterity, and with Styles on the ground outside, The Milkman takes a bow for his efforts.
Crowd: YEEEAAHHH!!
Four dues in front of the hard cam: WE LOVE MILK! WE LOVE MILK!
At a count of eight, Styles, returns to the ring, and the two wrestlers square off again. Styles gets the better of the two on the lockup, delivering a stomp to Stevens’ foot, before kneeling him in the stomach. Styles lifts Stevens up for a suplex, but Stevens shifts his weight and lands on his feet behind him! The Milkman attempts a German suplex, but Styles throws a firm elbow to the jaw and repositions behind Stevens for a German attempt of his own. Stevens gives Styles a receipt with a firm, calcium-hardened elbow of his own, before bounding over to the ropes, and attempting a lionsault to a standing Styles! Styles catches him, but Stevens slips free, pushes Styles into the corner, and he takes a chest-first bump. Stevens harnesses his agility once more to get into poison-rana position on the shoulders of Styles, but Styles uses one arm to flip Milkman off balance and send him tumbling to the ground. Quickly, Stevens attempts to transition to a sunset flip but has to abandon ship as Styles tries to poke him in the eyes, jamming his finger into the canvas as a result. Stevens uses the moment to leap up to Bret’s rope, turn around, and deliver a dropkick to Styles! Stevens then rolls to the apron, and pumps up the crowd with a wave of his hand…
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHH WOOO!!
Guy already 4 cheap beers in: I hate this Styles guy!
…and delivers another springboard dropkick, this one from the top rope! Stevens flexes for the crowd, before rolling into a cover…
ONE
TWO
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Mann: Does The Milkman seem a bit different to you, Woodbridge?
Woodbridge: Milkman definitely wants to show off early, he looks like he hasn’t lost a step!
Mann: Maybe even gained one, and it almost feels like he’s being a bit disrespectful of his opponent, don’t you think?
Woodbridge: And what are you insinuating?
Mann: Well, maybe performing in front of a WiR crowd again has him a little more amped than usual! Trying a lot of those high-risk maneuvers early- we’re only a few minutes into this one, folks!
After the Kickout, Stevens signals to the cheering crowd, runs off the ropes, and attempts a wheelbarrow bulldog, but as he pushes himself up, Styles swivels his hips, and Stevens face plants into the mat.
Mann: And Stevens’ showing off cost him there!
Styles knees Stevens in the stomach, before putting his head between the legs, and sets up for the Styles Clash! He can’t lock in Milkman’s arms, and Stevens uses them to push off the mat to sit up above Jericho! Stevens tries throwing a punch at Jericho’s head, but he pivots his plan, and adjusts to deliver a powerbomb! As he releases, Stevens adjusts his body and manages to mitigate some of the damage by landing awkwardly on the back foot, stumbling back into the ropes.
Mann: If Styles hit that, it could have spelled an early end for Stevens!
Stevens pulls himself back to his feet using the ropes and charges back in with a clothesline attempt, but Styles sees it coming, grabs the arm and uses it to shift the momentum, and lifts Stevens for a tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Mann: And Styles seems to be in control here.
Woodbridge: Stevens took some early momentum, but Styles has had a counter for everything Stevens has thrown at him.
Styles pulls Stevens up to his feet by the hair, before casually flipping one of Stevens’ arms over his shoulder for a uranage position before holding his arms out to the crowd!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Styles smirks at the boos incoming, and throws Stevens with a t-bone suplex. Once Stevens is planted, Styles stomps the stomach to force him to sit up, before stretching the arms behind for a surfboard stretch!
Styles: I’m a technical wrestler now, assholes!
Mann: Styles slowing things down here, grounding the Milkman
Woodbridge: Not a bad strategy, we saw how The Milkman was in control with a faster pace!
One guy holding up a sign with Goku: WE-LOVE-GOKU! WE-LOVE-GOKU!
Everyone else in the crowd is deafeningly silent
Styles: AND WHAT WOULD GOKU DO HERE, STUPID IDIOT?
Styles breaks his hold and approaches the hard camera ropes to yell at the fan more
Styles: Dragon Ball is overrated trash!
Styles kicks Stevens back to the mat
Styles That one was for you, fucking weeb!
As Stevens once again rises to his feet, Styles punches him and he falls back to the mat, just for Styles to pick him back up, and line up against the ropes, for an irish whip. As Stevens returns to sender, Styles throws him straight up in the air… and football punts him in the chest on the way down!
Styles: Hey weeb guy! This one’s for you too! I saw a Japanese dude do it once!
Styles lifts Stevens up, sets him up with the arms behind the back… and delivers a slow, sloppy [tiger driver], before placing a single foot on the chest, and flexing
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Woodbridge: Well, he didn’t quite get all of it.
Styles takes time to put Stevens in a Camel Clutch.
Mann: And it seems Styles didn’t want to get left out of showing off!
Woodbridge: Well, he certainly nailed Milkman with that kick, but the Tiger Driver left a lot to be desired.
Mann: Styles seems to have control of this match when it’s slowed down, wearing Stevens with this technical wrestling prowess.
Woodbridge, reaching under the desk for a paper bag: Everyone wants to be a hero in front of the first crowd in two years
Styles releases Stevens from the hold by battering him in the back of the head with a forearm, picking him up by the scruff, and bouncing him off the ropes for an Irish whip and hitting him with the kitchen sink! But Stevens wastes no motion, and grabs the leg, turning Styles over for a rollup!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Kickout!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Woodbridge: He almost got him with that rollup! From out of nowhere!
The Milkman tries to capitalize, but Styles returns the favor with a boot to the stomach.
Styles: I’ll show you to make a damn fool out of me!
Styles hoists Stevens up for a vertical suplex, before taking two steps and chucking him across the top rope! The Milkman bounces off the top rope, makes a deflating noise as the air is forced out of his lungs, and flops down to the floor outside!
Mann: Styles with some kind of inverted lawn-dart maneuver! Woodbridge, do you know what that’s called?
Woodbridge: Nope.
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Styles: Come on, milk boy, you have anything else for me?
Stevens crawls back into the ring, holding onto his ribs, before Styles once again kicks him in the stomach, and applies a chin lock in the ring.
Mann: Styles has found his target! If Stevens can’t breathe, he can’t fight!
Woodbridge: The young Styles showing some veteran instinct here, Mann, if Stevens has the wind knocked out of him, he can’t perform those high-flying moves he was nailing Styles with earlier!
Styles turns to the side, and locks Milkman in a body scissors, using his legs to apply pressure to the ribcage. Stevens tries to use his free legs to push both men closer to the ropes, but can only move them a few feet. Stevens smacks the mat with his free hand, and a guy in the crowd does it to the barricade. Stevens smacks the mat again, and a few more fans join in.
Crowd Smacking the barricade
Stevens pushes towards the ropes again, making more progress. Styles sees this, and releases the hold, grabbing Stevens by the hair with one hand, tights in the other, and pulling him up to his feet.
Styles: You want the ropes so bad, here, have them!
Styles runs over to the ropes with the Milkman, and hurls him between the middle and top rope, dumping him to the outside where he lands with a noticeable thud. Styles follows him to the outside, taking his time to savor the boos of the crowd, before delivering a knee to a rising Milkman, and lifting him for a vertical suplex on the grass! Styles rolls into the ring… and back out again to break the count. Despite the present beating, Stevens once again pulls himself to his feet.
Crowd: YEAAAH
And Styles knees him in the ribs.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO
Styles rolls Stevens back into the ring before taking a moment to confront the drunk fan who jeered him earlier. After his verbal exchange, Styles delivers a scoop slam to Stevens to keep him down, and the pressure on the body, before sliding into a cover.
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Mann: Forcing Stevens to exert more energy there on the kick out, after continuing his assault on the ribs. A very solid strategy by Styles in this one.
Styles picks The Milkman up once more and prepares another vertical suplex, but the Milkman slips free! Stevens lands behind Styles, hooks his arms, and goes for a crucifix pin!
ONE
TWO
THRE-
Styles barely escapes! The Milkman wastes no motion as Styles rises back to his feet, bouncing off the hard camera ropes, and forcing Styles to drop back to the mat to avoid a strike. Stevens bounces off the opposite end, and Styles barely avoids him once more, this time with a slide-step that sees him almost lose his balance. Styles tries to save his momentum by charging at Stevens as he bounces off the ropes a third time, but Stevens pulls down the top rope, sending Styles to the apron! Stevens kicks Styles in the knee, before going through the middle rope to meet Styles on the apron. Styles tries to sweep out the leg of the Milkman, knocking himself down to one knee on the attempt, but Stevens jumps over it, and catches Styles with a Calcium Kiss Superkick that sends Styles to the grass below!
Crowd: YEAAAHH
With his foe grounded, Stevens looks to the crowd, positions himself in the middle of the ring, and before Styles can discover where he is, Stevens takes flight, springboarding off the middle rope with an Asai Milksault! On the landing, Stevens’ left knee awkwardly hits the uneven yard, and he visibly grimaces before falling backward.
Mann: And both men are down after that! Stevens with a ferocious comeback attempt, but he may have hurt himself!
Woodbridge: Someone hasn’t been taking care of their lawn.
Stevens hears the air exit the crowd, and pulls himself up, giving them a reassuring thumbs up, before using the leg he landed on to kick Styles in the back of his knee, before throwing him back into the ring. Stevens puts one leg into the ring through the middle rope, before looking into the crowd- and deciding to ascend the turnbuckles instead! The Milkman leaps, and delivers a diving hurricanrana! As Styles tries to roll to the ropes, Stevens uses their good leg to stomp on his chest, before pulling him back to the middle of the ring, and hitting a Standing Milksault! Stevens maintains the cover!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Woodbridge: And Stevens throwing everything into this assault on Styles, but it still wasn’t enough to put him down!
Crowd: Let’s Go Milk-man! Let’s Go Milk-man!
Stevens picks Styles up, and lifts him onto his shoulders…
Woodbridge: He’s going for the Milky Way!
…But the injured knee can’t hold up the weight, and both men crash to the mat.
Entrance Music begins to play as a small, skinny wrestler in a leather jacket waltzes towards the two downed competitors
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And that’s Raven Van Loupe! Van Loupe is here at Sound Off!
Woodbridge: These two formed an alliance last time we saw them! But will it hold after the time off?
Van Loupe enters the ring, despite the protests of WiR official Tai Ni Wong, and glances at the pair as both try to pull themselves up, Stevens using the ropes, Styles on his own. Van Loupe looks back and forth… before kicking Stevens in the injured knee!
DING DING DING
Babaganoush: And here is your winner…
Van Loupe helps Styles to his feet, and the pair begin to lay the boots on Stevens.
Babaganoush: By disqualification as a result of interference, and striking a WiR official…
Styles takes the knee of the downed Milkman, and lifts it above his head, before thrashing it against the canvas.
Babaganoush: At a time of…
Van Loupe has Styles lift Stevens by the hair once more, before she runs to the ropes, jumps off the second rope, and Styles pushes The Milkman into the cutter.
Babaganoush: Ten minutes and twenty-three seconds…
Styles and Van Loupe stand over Stevens, and Styles prepares to deliver the finishing blow as he signals to the crowd that he is looking for the Styles Clash!
Banaganoush: Tony “The Milkmannnnnn” Stevens!!!!!!
Van Loupe: Are you done?
Van Loupe gives Styles a thumbs up, but as he goes to finish off Stevens, a mighty howl plays over the speakers as a short, scruffy man runs to the ring.
Woodbridge: That’s The Werewolf!
Mann Johnny, A Werewolf, is here! And he’s rushing to the ring!
Styles lets Stevens flop back down to the mat, holding his knee, and turns to face the incoming Werewolf as he slides under the ropes and into the ring. Styles steps before Vna Loupe to intercept, but the fresh Werewolf knocks him off his feet with The Pounce. The Werewolf comes face to face with Van Loupe in the center of the ring!
Crowd: AWOOOOOO
Mann: Pandemonium has broken out in the first match of Sound Off! And the fans are loving it!
Crowd: WE LOVE WERE-WOLF! clap clap clap clap clap WE LOVE WERE-WOLF!
Woodbridge: The Pack Wolf and the Werewolf facing off in the center of the ring!
Mann: And these two have unfinished business! The Lifeblood exists because they took issue with being left behind for signings like Werewolf!
Johnny feints left, before throwing a right jab! The Werewolf unleashes Pack Tactics on Van Loupe! As he stops throwing punches, and signals for another pounce, Styles kips up, and levels the werewolf with a lariat!
Crowd: BOOOOO
Van Loupe and Styles begin to wear down the Werewolf, delivering blow after blow to Johnny as the boos rain from the crowd. Van Loupe delivers a stomp to the knee of The Milkman to keep him down before they and Jericho set up to finish off styles…
When an Italian Flag appears on the video screen, and an absolute guido of an Italian-American, hair dripping with greaseslowly walks out from behind the curtain, wearing a Shohei Ohtani jersey!
…A Shohei Ohtani… New York Mets jersey.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: That’s The Apex! Arturo Stiglione! Stiglione is in the yard!
Stiglione slowly scopes out the scene on his way to the ring, seeing the downed Milkman on the left of the ring, the downed werewolf on the right, and the standing Lifeblood members in the middle. He slowly ascends the stairs and stands across from Van Loupe and Styles.
Wodbridge: And The Apex, not a fan of Johnny, a very terse relationship between these two.
Apex: Hell ova job ya done hea’
Van Loupe: If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stand aside, and maybe we won’t hurt you.
Apex: Dont’cha mind me, just monitoring the situation.
Styles pulls Van Loupe aside, and the two have an impromptu conference, before nodding along, and continuing their attack on Werewolf.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
With The Lifeblood’s backs turned Styles looks down at his fist. He looks down at the blue and orange he’s adorned in, and loosens up his arm. He points to the back of Styles, who senses the crowd rising, and turns around… to be met with a spinning backfist!!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Mann: Styles has made his choice! And he chooses to stand against The Lifeblood!
Van Loupe hears his body hit the canvas, and turns around, to be met with the sight of a downed Styles! The Apex takes off his Mets jersey… to reveal an Angels jersey! The Werewolf is back on his feet, and he and the Apex come face to face! Van Loupe rises back up at the wrong time, as the two share a nod, and deliver a double clothesline! Seeing the situation turn against him, Styles slinks to the outside, and grabs a chair from under the ring, before sneaking back in behind the Werewolf and Apex, who have turned to the hard camera. Styles raises the chair to strike…
...And gets blasted by a Calcium Kiss from The Milkman!
Crowd: WOOOOOO
The three faces are all back on their feet in the middle of the ring, standing tall! As the three begin to celebrate…
“It’s a Psychobilly Freakout!
Mann: That’s the music of Mason Saunders! But where is he?
Saunders’ music plays, but the entranceway remains empty.
Woodbridge: He’s behind us, Mann! He just jumped the barricade!
Mann: But he’s outnumbered, Woodbridge, both his allies are down!
Undeterred by the numbers disadvantage, Saunders slides behind the faces, and as they recognize the trap, Saunders is already in the ring! The Werewolf approaches first and throws a jab that almost seems to bounce off the chin of Saunders. Saunders simply stares, and when the Werewolf tries a second one, Saunders swipes it aside with a tree trunk arm, before launching into action and dropping the Werewolf with a right hook, which catches the Werewolf cleanly on the jaw, who slumps backward onto the canvas. The Milkman tries to charge to his aid, but Saunders delivers a pump kick to put him back on the canvas. The Apex tries to make a move while Saunders’ back is turned facing Stevens, but he fails to do any damage and is swiftly thrown aside. Saunders drops the Milkman again, before turning around to face Apex… who turns around, and flees the ring as fast as possible!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And Stiglione, getting out of dodge as soon as he can!
Woodbridge: And turning tail and running, Stiglione is out of here!
As Stiglione flees up the entranceway, the rest of the Lifeblood begins to pick themselves up. Saunders puts the Werewolf pack down on the canvas with a scoop powerslam, and boots him out of the ring. The Lifeblood stand united, and face the hard camera, Stiglione and Werewolf removed, and the Milkman down on the opposite end of the ring. JZ ascends to the second rope of the left turnbuckle, Van Loupe to the right, and the three all pose for the hard camera!
Mann: And the Lifeblood, although not victorious in the match, is victorious here in the aftermath!
Woodbridge: But wait, The Milkman is trying to get back up!
Mann: Stevens of course, left for the picking, as other members of The Horde are all the way on the other side of the Farm preparing for their match later!
Stevens struggles to pull himself up to his feet, knee buckling under him. Saunders perks up, and stops his pose. Stevens staggers to his feet, and before he can get very far, Saunders turns, and with blinding speed nails Stevens with a disgusting lariat that nearly takes his head off!
Woodbridge: And the Milk has gone spoiled.
The Lifeblood circle the downed Milkman like vultures, and Van Loupe drops to one knee, and picks up the Milkman’s head by the hair! JZ gets down as well, and the two strike a pose, with Milkman’s body as the centerpiece!
Mann: A statement made, by the Lifeblood
Woodbridge: To me, Mann, it looks like the statement was made by Saunders, Van Loupe, and JZ just picked up the scraps!
Van Loupe, holding up Milkman to the Camera victoriously: Take a look, WiR, this is the future! We are the Lifeblood of this company, and don’t forget that!
The camera pans out to JZ and Van Loupe celebrating over Milkman’s body, while Saunders stares from behind, before fading out to a commercial break.
Javier: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, with a 20 minute time limit. Your referee for this contest is Mia So Hung. Introducing first, from Montreal, Canada, weighing in at 119 pounds...... GIGI♥ V!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A significantly smaller but incredibly loud section of the crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Music begins to swell in the background, and the crowd continues their jeering (and occasional unbridled simping) until Gigi steps out, running her hands down her body to the lewd Ashnikko verse.
Mann: Gigi here, surrounded by her legion of fans, who are then surrounded by a legion of people who absolutely despise her. As it should be here in WiR.
Gigi saunters to the ring, taking vaguely suggestive selfies with her ravenous fans on the front row, and generally seeming uncaring about the forthcoming match.
Woodbridge: And given her successes recently, it’s gonna be easy to overlook a competitor like Li Xiao, which very easily could prove fatal.
Gigi steps into the ring, as Javier starts his announcing again.
Javier: And her opponent, from Hong Kong, weighing in at 105 pounds... LI XIAO!!!
A unfamiliar metal song blasts out from the speakers, and a rather familiar hyperactive martial artist bounces out from behind the curtain!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Xiao charges down the ramp with a head of steam, hyped and ready to fight.
Mann: Xiao has some of the most devastating offense in this company, and if she’s able to keep momentum, it could very well shatter Gigi’s plans of making a statement here!
Woodbridge: Yeah, sure, but Xiao’s a tag team specialist first and foremost. She comes in to deal damage and then gets out before she takes too much abuse.
Xiao hops into the ring, and the referee pats both competitors down, before gesturing for the bell.
DING DING DING
In an interesting turn of events, Gigi and Li Xiao start off with a collar-and-elbow tie up in the center of the ring. Gigi takes quick advantage of her height and weight advantage to gain leverage and force Li Xiao backwards into the ropes.
Mann: Gigi starting off with the basics here, knowing Li Xiao is nothing if not an incredibly explosive fighter.
Woodbridge: That’s right, Xiao wrestles like my grandpa used to make moonshine, god rest his soul!
Gigi sets herself, and when Xiao tries to push off the ropes and get Gigi off, Gigi directs the momentum into a modified biel, throwing Li Xiao across the ring! Gigi takes a moment to smirk and pose for the fans - a mistake, as Xiao rolls through the throw and hits the ropes on the opposite side of the ring!
Mann: Incredible strength from Gigi!
Gigi turns around into a sprinting palm strike from Xiao, staggering backwards into the ropes yet again, and Xiao follows up with a big kick to the gut! Gigi’s doubled over, and Xiao drops her with a DDT!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s fired up, and she’s quite possibly looking to end this match before it even gets started!
Xiao with the cover!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out right at 2, and rolls up, obviously shocked and dazed. The crowd in attendance is split, with the wrestling fans excited to see Gigi on the ropes, and the Gigi fans absolutely in shambles. Xiao is up quickly, as Gigi staggers to her feet - Xiao hits the ropes, springboards, and catches Gigi with a beautiful headscissors!
Crowd: WOOOOOO!
Gigi rolls through, runs the ropes, and comes back with a head of steam! Xiao dodges a clothesline attempt, shoves Gigi to the other rope, and gets ready for the comeback - Gigi catches the ropes! Xiao charges in to press the advantage, and eats an officially branded Gigi♥ boot to the face! Xiao is absolutely rocked, staggering backwards, and this time Gigi takes the initiative and absolutely levels Xiao with a clothesline! Xiao spirals to the mat, and Gigi blows a kiss to the fans in attendance!
Gigi: I am your future champion, and this is the match I’m booked in?
Gigi catches Xiao with a boot to the back of the head! Xiao rolls over, and Gigi drops a knee onto her throat, before going for the cover!
1!
2!
Xiao muscles out of the pin, clutching her head!
Woodbridge: We got two high fliers here, these women make a livin’ out of dodging attacks. Anything that lands here is going to be devastating!
Mann: And right now, it looks like Xiao is barely conscious after those blows to the head!
Gigi gets up, and winks at her fans in attendance and watching live throughout the world.
Crowd: BOOOOOO!/YAAAAAAAAAAY!
Gigi saunters over to Xiao, and plays up the boot she’s about to give - SMALL PACKAGE! SMALL PACKAGE!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out, and her mood instantly changes. Xiao is staggering to her feet, and takes a full on slap to the face!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH!
Mann: What a slap from Gigi, obviously assisted by her official Gigi♥ gloves, sponsored by Fairtex!
Woodbridge: Gigi’s pissed now, and you could hear that slap all the way in Los Angeles!
Xiao clutches her face, and Gigi follows up with a huge kick to the gut! Xiao falls to one knee, and Gigi finishes the trifecta with a roundhouse to the head!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao collapses to the mat!
Mann: And Xiao’s down! What a kick!
Woodbridge: That kick nearly took her head off, Shay! I don’t know if she’s even conscious down there!
Gigi’s prepared, and is looking to finish this, climbing to the top rope! Xiao is flat on her back on the mat, and Gigi takes the leap, flipping forwards with a swanton! Xiao is still conscious, though, and rolls away in the nick of time, leaving Gigi high and dry!
Crowd: YAAAAAAY! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO!
Mann: I... feel like that’s problematic, somehow.
Woodbridge: Nah, ‘sfine, don’t worry about it.
Xiao grabs for the ropes, pulling herself to her feet, but is obviously still dazed from the kick!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s hurt!
Mann: You see this a lot in Li Xiao singles matches - she’s got an incredible offense, but she’s fragile at best in-ring!
Gigi is holding her back, and glares at Xiao in frustration!
Gigi: You were supposed to stay down! it was going on Tiktok!
Gigi charges forward, ready to avenge her mistake, but takes a knee to the gut! Gigi staggers for a second, only to get a chop to the neck! She’s reeling! Xiao with a forearm! Xiao with a elbow strike!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao takes a step backwards, and lets out a KIAI, before charging forward with a roundhouse - NO! SCHOOLBOY FROM GIGI!
1!
2!
Xiao kicks out at 2.6, rolls to her feet, and is immediately back on the offensive, catching Gigi with a kick to the gut!
Mann: Xiao was going for her trademark flurry of blows, and that roundhouse could very well have ended this match!
Woodbridge: Sure, but it doesn’t look like Gigi’s in a better spot right now anyway!
Xiao measures, as Gigi slowly gets back to her feet, and steps through the ropes, stalking her opponent! Gigi’s up, and Xiao leaps onto the ropes, going for a springboard - GIGI HOOKS HER LEG!
Crowd: BOOOOO!
Xiao loses her footing, and falls neck-first onto the ropes, before collapsing to the outside of the ring!
Mann: Gigi with a lightning-quick reversal!
Woodbridge: Xiao might be seriously hurt down there!
Gigi regains some of her confidence, and gives the crowd an innocent smile, completely ignoring the competitor she might have seriously injured. As the count reaches six, Gigi finally springs into action, rolling out of the ring, and grabbing Xiao by the hair!
Gigi: That’s what you get for ruining my moment!
Gigi pulls Xiao up to her feet, and throws her into the ring. Gigi rolls in as Xiao fights to one knee, then to her feet! Gigi smirks, and stands in front of Xiao, posing for the crowd -
WHAM!
Xiao with a JKD backfist!
Woodbridge: River City Knockout! That’s Biff’s move! What a moment to strike!
Gigi is staggered - falls to one knee - then gets back up, just in time to eat THE CRANE KICK
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Woodbridge: CRANE KICK! CRANE KICK!
Gigi is down! Xiao is staggering after landing the crane kick, and collapses to a knee herself! Xiao takes a moment to collect herself, then throws herself into the cover, hooking both legs!
1!
2!
3!
NO!
Mia hits the three count, and Xiao rolls off, sure she’s won the match, but Gigi’s right hand is on the ropes!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mia explains to Xiao, who is obviously frustrated, but nods. She takes a moment to kick Gigi’s wrist, knocking her hand off the ropes, before climbing to the top rope! Xiao steels herself - leaps - corkscrews through the air!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s Wing!
Gigi gets her knees up! Xiao lands back-first onto Gigi’s knees! Xiao bounces halfway across the ring, clutching her back and neck, and lands on her chest!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mann: And Gigi has just enough in the tank to get that counter in!
Gigi, with what seems like massive effort, rolls over, before crawling towards Xiao, who seems to be completely out of it. She crawls over Xiao, with a knowing smirk, before hooking her legs around Xiao’s head!
Mann: Gigi looking for the Paywall, this modified figure four choke!
Woodbridge: And half the audience is looking at something else right now.
Gigi torques Xiao’s already injured neck back, cutting off all airflow! Xiao struggles for a moment, but is trapped in the center of the ring! She crawls forward, but Gigi leans back, torquing her neck even further! Xiao swings back with an elbow, then another, but her arm is caught by Gigi’s free hand! After a moment of struggling, Xiao finally relents, and taps in the center of the ring!
DING DING DING!
Javier: And your winner, at a time of 7:53.... GIGI!
Gigi rolls out of the ring, obviously the worse for wear, clutching her neck after the crane kick to the skull!
Mann: And Gigi with a hard-fought win after these two threw everything at each other in a absolutely brutal short match!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s not a singles competitor on her own, but she showed just how brutal her brand of offense is when it needs to be - if Biff has the same resilience he used to have the tag division might need to be on notice!

I’m 18 f and I’ve been in the same friend group since the beginning of high school. I find it hard to make friends so I feel stuck. Two years ago I left the friend group because i felt depressed already and the negativity would make everything worse but last year i rejoined the group because i felt lonely. There are some girls in the group who are extremely toxic and mean but whenever i call them out they make it seem like i’m overreacting. There are twins in the group who are the “leaders” and everyone listens to them. The twins are really mean and have made racist, ableist, homophobic etc. jokes and I’ve told them it’s inappropriate.
When i was in the hospital for a seizure, one of the twins sent a GIF to the gc of a person having a seizure and she asked me “were you like this?” Nobody said anything and i told her it’s not funny. She apologized but she was smirking when she said it so i feel like it’s not genuine.
I think both of the twins don’t like me but one of them is more obvious because she literally told me to my face she doesn’t like me because of my “attitude”. She doesn’t like me because we got into an argument because she was being homophobic. She asked me if i would date a bisexual man (because i like a guy who is bisexual) and i know she’s asking this because she wants to say that i’m weird for liking a bisexual man. I call her out on it and she blows up and says “it’s just my opinion how is my opinion bad?” More recently, we got into a fight over the seating plan for prom. I wanted to invite the same bisexual man to one of our tables at prom but i forgot that the girls wanted me to “break up” with him a few days before. I have a group of 12 girls and there were three extra seats at one our tables. I asked if I could invite him and everyone blew up and the twin that dislikes me told me to “fuck off”, called him weird and insulted him. I repeated that to her and she said “oh my god it’s just a joke you’re so annoying.” Then, the girl in charge of the plan handed it in and i was like “It’s okay,he doesn’t have to sit with us” Then, the twin continued arguing with me and the others joined in by calling him weird. Nobody defended me except for a girl that i’m not really close with. I find it sad that no one wanted to defend me when i was just asking a question. Not even my best friend. The twin who told me to “fuck off” wanted to talk (?) with me at school. She came to my locker and once again said she was just joking. I told her that she wasn’t joking because it wasn’t funny and she told me a day before our fight that she doesn’t like me. She began rambling on and on about something and the group of 10 girls were watching us fight. A nice girl in our group apologized for calling my crush weird and the twin who dislikes me got annoyed because she didn’t apologize yet. She told the others that she doesn’t have to apologize because we’re both in the wrong. She said “fuck that i’m not apologizing” Another girl in our group wants me to hangout with them again because there’s only one person who doesn’t like me but there are people in the group who are obviously on her side. Additionally, there is no reason for my friends to dislike the guy i’m dating. He hasn’t spoken to them and he is quiet whenever i bring him around. Only two girls in the group support us and i have no idea why the others hate him so much. They even sent pictures of him to our insta gc making fun of him.
I still like many of the girls in the group but there is no other way to hangout with them. My best friend is neutral and doesn’t want to take sides but the other girl is obviously in the wrong. To make matters worse, the twins continuously bully and make fun of my best friend but she doesn’t want to support me when i need support. I stand up for her and she doesn’t do the same for me. I feel like the only people who are willing to support me is the guy i’m dating and the girl who defended me. I still feel like i’m overreacting but i don’t want to hang around people who act like that. I still have to sit with them at prom and I feel anxious. What do i do?

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/627310682269810708/1103462861218525194/update.gif

v0.106.3

• Added prompting to remove a friend when hiding friends
• Fixed a mane having unused pattern colors
• Fixed game UI missing sprites on old browsers in some case
• Fixed accepting notifications failing in some cases
• Fixed quick hides not working for offline players
• Fixed missing pony preview for blocked offline friends
• Fixed blocking offline player blocking incorrect player in some cases
• Fixed party name and description being incorrectly filtered out in some cases
• Fixed game settings getting desynced in some cases
• Fixed player disappearing when lagging in some cases
• Fixed some other UI issues
• Fixed some map errors

v0.106.2

• Added ability to set party name and description
• Added ability to block player requests and chat independently
• Added ability to set timeout and note when blocking requests and chat
• Added ability to manage blocked requests and chat from account settings
• Added ability to change player block type from account settings
• Added ability to block offline party members and friends
• Added selecting previous command suggestion using Shift + Tab
• Changed loop neck accessory to use variants
• Improved notifications when failing to send requests to give or exchange items
• Improved notifications when failing to send whispers
• Improved emoji display quality in friend list
• Improved selection bounds of players
• Improved display of dropdowns
• Improved pony editor UI
• Improved spam filter
• Fixed blocked status not appearing for offline party members and friends
• Fixed player block modal not closing after leaving game
• Fixed players selected from chatlog incorrectly appearing online in some cases
• Fixed wall colliders being incorrect in some cases
• Fixed wrong chat bubble getting crossed out in some cases
• Fixed whispering by name sometimes incorrectly choosing an offline player
• Fixed not being able to move in some cases
• Fixed player getting duplicated in some cases
• Fixed preview buttons displaying above palette window
• Fixed invalid pony names in some cases
• Fixed incorrect chat message formatting when whispering in some cases
• Fixed color picker overlapping pony preview
• Fixed color picker closing upon opening keyboard on mobile
• Fixed incorrect timestamps in some cases
• Fixed some other UI issues
• Fixed some map errors
• Optimized game UI

v0.106.1

• Improved color picker to drop up adaptively
• Fixed emojis appearing corrupted in some cases
• Fixed frequently used emojis showing doubles in some cases
• Fixed frequently used emojis not updating in some cases
• Fixed pony list overlapping confirmation dialogues
• Fixed color palette window overlapping pony list
• Fixed in-game pony editor scrolling in landscape on mobile
• Fixed undo/redo not updating available irises
• Fixed some image quality issues with < 1x zoom levels
• Fixed game crashing in some cases
• Fixed and improved some other UI issues
• Optimized emoji picker on slow devices

v0.106.0

• Disabled Easter event
• Added a full set of face emojis (105 of them!)
• Added new hand emojis:
  • :raised_hands:
  • :clap:
  • :punch:
  • :fist:
  • :love_you_gesture:
  • :metal:
  • :raised_hand:
  • :raised_back_of_hand:
  • :hand_splayed:
  • :wave:
  • :leftwards_hand:
  • :rightwards_hand:
  • :muscle:
  • :pray:
• Added new emojis to Creatures & Nature:
  • :alien_monster:
  • :eagle_face:
  • :worm:
  • :turtle:
  • :brain:
  • :cactus:
  • :empty_nest:
  • :nest_with_eggs:
  • :tulip:
  • :bubbles:
  • :dolphin:
  • :whale:
  • :spouting_whale:
• Added new :ice_cream_bowl: to Food emojis
• Added new emojis to Objects:
  • :headstone:
  • :love_letter:
• Added new emojis to Symbols:
  • :light_blue_heart:
  • :pink_heart:
  • :grey_heart:
• Added pony expressions when sending new face emojis
• Added more chat message actions:
  • sneeze,sneezes or achoo for "Sneeze" action
  • yawn or yawns for "Yawn" action
  • eat or eats for "Eat item" action
  • nom,noms,chew or chews for "Nom item" action
• Added nod as an alias for nods
• Added chat box staying open when sending messages while holding Shift
• Added ability to use think while whispering
• Added ability to toggle mask down in pony editor
• Added ability to change pupils direction in pony editor
• Added down pupils direction to expression editor
• Improved /tears action to disable /cry
• Improved /cry action to disable /tears
• Improved pony expressions when using tinyface emojis
• Improved :smirk_cat: emoji
• Improved minimum and maximum size of emoji picker
• Improved look of thinking chat bubbles
• Improved pupils UI
• Fixed custom emojis showing as unicode characters in chat box in some cases
• Fixed chat box not scrolling when selecting text
• Fixed in-game expressions not changing after editing expression in pony editor
• Fixed loss of pony editor changes when being reconnected
• Fixed pony name change in editor resetting undo history
• Fixed undo history not being preserved when closing in-game pony editor
• Fixed some other issues with being reconnected
• Fixed GIF/PNG export ignoring per pony background color
• Fixed removing friends not updating friends search list
• Fixed spam clicking action gear icon breaking modals
• Fixed Twitch sign in
• Optimized emoji picker

I wanted to pay my respects to the thousands of hours of blood, sweat, and tears clearly poured into every frame of this show by doing a deep-dive into the nonverbal communication and facial expressions of our girl Vi.
People have already commented upon her nervous tick of rolling her shoulder in anticipation of pain or violence, but I haven't seen anyone note that this is likely a remnant of a permanent injury she sustained when crushed under a steel door in Act 1.
she probably sustained a comminuted fracture in her right arm; the door has to weigh at least several hundred pounds
she rolls the same shoulder, likely to loosen up the damaged muscles and nerves that never had the chance to properly heal in prison
Arcane has an interesting little strategy for depicting mental vs physical trauma. The characters most severely psychologically wounded from the night at the cannery are actually the ones with the least obvious deformations or scars from the event. Jinx comes out completely unscathed, but her psyche is utterly shattered to pieces by Vi "abandoning" her (aka getting kidnapped and unlawfully imprisoned, but Jinx doesn't see it that way). Vi also doesn't sustain any noticeable external injuries; her pain is entirely internal after watching her father and adopted brothers die brutal deaths before her eyes at the hands of her kid sister. Likewise, the characters who were hardly bothered by the bloodbath come out with the most noticeable physical deformities. Sevika loses an arm and Singed gets half his face blown off, but they're both utterly unphased by the actual events that transpired.
When we do see a profound physical metamorphosis in Vi, it's clearly a product of her time in Stillwater, not a direct outgrowth of the shitshow with Silco. Ironically, the show puts a lot of emphasis on the fact that Vi has hardly changed at all when she's released: still the same compassionate, fiercely loyal, hotheaded and brash young girl we meet in Act 1. She held onto her "good heart" through it all, even though she goes through one of the most dramatic physical transformations out of any of the main cast.
I also wanted to comment on this heartbreaking little moment when she's standing above the Undercity:
look at her shaky little breaths of disbelief and wonder
This is the first time she's felt the sun on her skin and had a breath of fresh air for roughly 7 years. You can see the wonder and trepidation in her eyes, the little shimmer of barely-contained grief, the flare of her nostrils as she breaths in the scent of her home. She doesn't take this breath over the crystal-clear ocean of Piltover; she heads right for the industrial smog of Zaun, because the smell reminds her of home. It's heartbreaking.
Then, of course, we have her first fight with Sevika. Vi has been festering in a frigid prison cell for god-knows-how long, likely replaying the night's events over and over, agonizing over what could have been if she was stronger, smarter, more responsible, if Vander hadn't locked her in the basement, if she hadn't left Powder behind...
I bet that the entire time, she allowed all her despair and grief and trauma to spill over into pure, unadulterated rage at the traitor who abandoned her father when he most needed the support of his people. Is barging into a fight with Sevika the second you're busted out of prison, immediately alerting Silco to your presence and fatally wounding yourself in the process, the smart, calculating thing to do? Of course not! Because Vi isn't thinking rationally; all she can think about is this rat bitch who got her father killed. It's etched into every groove on her face; not just rage, but disgust. And whenever Vi gets this angry, she ends up making brash decisions that put herself and her loved ones in danger. It's her fatal character flaw, entirely understandable under to the circumstances but no less frustrating to behold.
cold, hard fury
RAGE
Now for something a tad more wholesome, if equally as heartbreaking. Vi's eyes filling with tears of disbelief and joy at seeing her sister again.
a barely contained sob
Edit: added a gif of her teary eyes instead of a still image
Vi can hardly believe it; when she first gets up on the platform she's almost frozen with shock. And then immediately her eyes fill with tears and she rushes forward to squeeze Jinx in a tight embrace. She caresses Jinx's cheek, just like when they were kids; pain and relief and regret shimmering in her eyes. She can barely choke out words because she's so consumed with joy at seeing her sister again. And the visual symbolism is spot-on: Vi's bloodstained, wrapped knuckles cradling jinx's face, symbolising the duality of her character: ruthless violence in service of protecting the tender bonds she shares with her loved ones. It's also some of the only tender, nonviolent touch she's had with another human being for the better part of a decade. It's such a beautiful moment in a show marred by tragedy and trauma, so I had to include it here.
Now that we've got all the depressing ones out of the way, let's talk about some silly moments!
I love her flabbergasted expressions whenever she realizes she's in deep shit with Sevika:
Fuck man what is that??
Umm. I might have miscalculated
Well shit.
Plus her adorable overprotective big-sister vibes with Ekko:
\"I'm so glad you're safe.\"
Aaaand obviously absolutely everything with Caitlyn. This little teasing smirk she gives her when they're outside the brothel, noticing Cait's obvious discomfort and clearly reveling in it:
\"Hah! Prudish fucking Piltie.\"
\"Wow. She actually... cares.\"
with quiet wonderment: \"You're defending me? In front of the entire Council?\"
I adore her character so much. She's so painfully human and so deeply flawed, but despite going through absolute hell from the ages of 10 to 21-ish, she manages to stay a kind, loving person with a heart of gold.
You know what I want for Season 2, aside from violent class warfare, political intrigue, and the catastrophic fallout of prolonged wealth stratification between Piltover and Zaun? This poor girl to get some sleep in a soft bed. And clean clothes. And a warm meal. And two seconds to just rest in silence with Caitlyn and talk through all the crazy shit she's endured without immediately being kidnapped or attacked or brutally tortured. I want to see her and Caitlyn hugging, cuddling with tender little touches, having their first kiss, and supporting each other through the tragedy, bloodshed, and death that's in the process of ripping apart the very fabric of their lives.

Part 80
Inanna clung to me for a long moment. Kathy stood there, awkwardly waiting for us to finish hugging (and crying) for a while. Then she summoned Spectre and the two of them chatted for a minute. Then they both stood there awkwardly waiting for us to finish.
In time, we did. Inanna pulled away and wiped at her face with both hands.
"What's the divinity?" she asked.
"All of the ones she stole, plus time."
"Time?" Inanna asked. "We thought it had been lost. Sarisa said it was broken, the energies split between physics and knowledge and dreams."
I shook my head. "She sort of... Packaged it up. She's been hanging onto it all this time."
The sky began to flash, strange shifts in the color and the shape of the clouds. All four of us looked around.
"Shit," Kathy said. "Are you sure you're done, Jerry? It looks like you missed something."
"No," I said. "This is me. Or rather, this is the work of a couple thousand of my avatars. I made a whole bunch of alternate timelines, and they're weaving them back together."
"You made..." Inanna muttered. "Stars and Stones, Jerry, did you... Did you undo what happened here?"
I smiled at her. "Me and Sarisa did." She gawked at me, disbelieving. I nodded. "This place is about to get a bit more populated."
The flashes in the sky were happening faster and faster, and taking longer and longer. "Why's it doing that?" Spectre asked.
"Billions of people are coming into existence here," I said. "Along with even more billions, over several thousand years in the past. That's a lot of breathing, a lot of body heat. It's affecting the climate."
One flash stuck around for a full five seconds. During that time, I saw a pair of aircraft flying past.
"Holy fucking shit," Inanna muttered. "You saved the fucking world, baby."
I shrugged and blushed. "It wasn't my world. And I couldn't save any of the other ones. They're all still post-apocalyptic places..." I trailed off for a moment, and when I continued, my voice was quieter.
"And I couldn't save Sarisa." Even as I spoke the words, my eyebrows shot up in remembrance of someone else. "Avarisa-" I said, but stopped when I saw Kathy shaking her head.
"It's her, dude," she said. "The body you found. She came back and Inanna tried to save her, but..."
"Fuck," I swore. I felt myself choking up again.
"Fuck," I said again. I crouched down, because I didn't feel well.
"She made me promise to keep you happy," Inanna said, her own voice as small as mine. She knelt down beside me and put an arm around my shoulders.
"Dylan didn't make it either," Kathy said. "He asked me to tell Esmeralda and Maria that he loved them, and that he was sorry."
"Fucking hell," I said. I wasn't sure how I felt about Dylan's death. He was Dylan Boucher. Duke Beaufort. The world was almost certainly better off without him.
On the other hand... I thought of the little apartment I'd seen. I thought about the smiling faces in the photographs I'd seen. He could have been redeemed, I knew.
"So what now?" Kathy asked.
I blinked and shook my head. I focused on her words.
"Umm..." I said, thus demonstrating that divinity does absolutely nothing for one's loquaciousness. After a few more moments of thought, I spoke.
"I need to find Swaim, Mot and Anansi. And, I think... Ningur."
"What for?" Kathy asked, then smacked herself on the forehead. "To give their divinities back, duh."
I nodded. "By why Ningur?"
I looked up. "Time is... It's potent. It's extremely powerful. The god or goddess who holds it will be on a level with Jane, Yarm, Glorfinel or Swaim in terms of raw power."
"Okay, but Ningur's not exactly a bastion of-" Kathy started to object, but I stage-whispered "Swaim."
"Oh," she said, then her eyebrows shot up. "Oh! She hasn't got an ounce of guile or malice in her body. Like Swaim!"
I nodded. "She's also self-conscious and a little timid. Both of those are perfect traits for someone with the power to screw up the whole universe with one misstep. She'll be extremely careful about messing with timelines."
"They're all here," Inanna said. I looked at her. "Anansi and Mot came with Gary and Yarm. There are others, too. And Swaim and Ningur... You're gonna want to brace yourself, babe."
"Oh no," I said, realizing where she was going. She nodded. "Them and Aaina."
"I'm gonna ground that girl for a year," I muttered. "She could have gotten herself killed."
"Yarm said the three of them took down a primordial," Inanna said.
"No fucking way," I replied. She shrugged. "Talk to Yarm. And Aaina."
"I'll believe that when I see it," I said.
----
I gaped at the dead primordial. "Holy crap," I muttered. "You actually did it."
Aaina beamed a smile at me, while Swaim and Ningur grinned away behind her.
"I couldn't have done it without the power of friendship," she said. I quirked an eyebrow at her, but she just turned her smile into a smug smirk and nodded slowly.
"You embraced the cringe," I said, referring to the words I regularly said to her whenever I embarrassed her in public.
"I'm bear-hugging it," she replied. I laughed. Just a little one, but I still laughed. I love that girl so much.
I pulled her in for another hug, probably the eightieth one I'd given her in the twenty minutes since I came down from the spire. I watched the flickering as the village in the background alternated between a well-preserved ruin and a vibrant, active small town.
----
"Can you explain how you fixed the timeline?" Sookie asked me, several days later.
I was once again mortal, thank heavens. Swaim, Anansi and Mot had gotten their divinities back, and Ningur had become the new goddess of time. With the added bonus that she never had to see her mother again, I might add.
From what Gary told me, Ninhursag had proven her worth in battle, but absolutely no-one seemed to mind that she'd gone full hero. Still...
Ninhursag was no more insane than millions of humans. And Sookie... Honestly, Sookie had her issues, but she was perfectly capable of living, thriving even, in human society, as she had definitively proven over decades or centuries (the length of time she'd been living among humans tended to vary with each time she mentioned it). The issues she did have... Well, it didn't take magic to explain them. And Ningur... Every mental issue she had could easily have been lain at the feet of her mother.
Accepted knowledge was that the Asura had all been driven insane by the time they spent in Nibiru, but the evidence I'd seen...
"Hello?! Ground Control to Space Cadet Jerry, you there?" Sookie snapped fingers in my face, drawing me out of my ruminations.
"Oh, sorry," I said. "What did you ask me?"
"I asked if you can explain to me how you fixed the timeline," she said. I smiled sheepishly.
"Well, when you first start to think about it, the problem of looping is a serious hurdle, but the trick is to use looping. You see, timelines aren't always universal, sometimes they're tied to a specific place or region, or to an object or person or people, and they don't affect anything else. Now, there's a really complex method by which places and things and people outside of those timelines interact with the contents of those timelines, but that's not really important for understanding this. So what I did was a lot like putting an enchantment onto an artifact, you see.
"Instead of working with raw energy and forming patterns out of it to produce certain effects, I was working with probability, and forming patterns out of it to produce certain other probabilities. So I was able to spin off loops from events and tie them together in specific patterns, for example, the ritual the primordials did to kill the Sixteenth world, which was a particularly complex one, where I had to-"
"Jesus fucking christ!" Sookie interrupted. "This is for a mass-market urban fantasy TV show, dude! Not some peer-reviewed article in the New England Journal of Technobabble! Dumb it down a little, will ya?"
I smirked at her outburst. She winked at me and chuckled.
"Okay, let me think..." I said.
"I guess the best way to put it is that I split the timelines where the important events occurred, to produce lines where they didn't occur, or occurred in a different way. Then I merged them back together in a way that let one timeline take priority over another, except for certain people. It's, uh... It's why everybody remembers everything that happened, even though I went into the past to stop the events that started it all."
She shook her head. "I'm gonna have to dumb it down myself," she muttered.
"I have the utmost faith in your ability to do that," I deadpanned, earning a playful kick in response.
"Your kids don't remember, though," she said, looking up, her face turning serious. I nodded. "The timelines in which they suffered through that were cut out. The Sara, Maria and Junior we have are... They're not the ones who went through that."
Sookie winced. "But some version of them did?"
I nodded, carefully trying to keep my mind on other things. There was nothing I could do about that. And there were... Ameliorating circumstances. The versions of my children who had gone through that were cut off from their shared souls, sort of automatons, trapped in a timeline that was cut off from the rest. They didn't even have souls. I'd cut them off from that.
But they were thinking, living beings. Not having a soul didn't make them any less sapient. They were still children who had suffered unimaginable-
"Dude, don't start dwelling," Sookie snapped. I glanced at her, realizing that's exactly what I'd been doing.
"Sorry," I said. "I'm a dweller."
"Yeah you fucking are," Sookie muttered back. "What are you and the missus doing tonight?"
"Uh," I said. "Probably trying to help Brekka clean up. Yarm's been busy playing diplomat, and her house is still a mess."
"That's right, she was at the park, wasn't she?" I nodded. "The gods didn't mess with her or the boys. None of them wanted to risk Yarm's wrath."
Sookie chuckled. "Can you imagine one of them trying to hold his family hostage?"
I snuffed a laugh. "They wouldn't survive long enough to make their demands. You know he's been pestering me about Godslayer, trying to get me to make another one for him."
"You gonna do it?" she asked.
"I can't, the necessary components..." I trailed off. The secret ingredient was the soul of a former god, and thanks to the gods declaring war on humanity, there was no shortage of those right now.
"I'm not going to," I finished. "I'm meeting with Fulla tomorrow to lock away the knowledge of how to do it."
"What about the one you already made?"
"I'm hanging on to it. The way things have gone for me ever since I met Sarisa..." I sighed. "I'm afraid I'll need it."
She shook her head sadly. "I can't even argue with you, man."
She slapped her legs and stood, gathering up her notebook, clipping the pen to it and rolling it up to... Uh... Put it away in her usual fashion. I think you know what I mean, right? Fine. She shoved it up her butt. It's how she accesses her version of hammerspace.
It was always weird to watch her do it, because she did it so casually. And it went so easy. She just reached back and gave it a little push and it worked like one of those tubes at the drive-thru pharmacy, just ploop and it vanished. But any time I'd put anything in there, it was really tight and tended to pulse and-
Oh, crap, sorry. TMI. I'm sorry. Listen, I've been through a lot lately, and now everything was winding back down to a semblance of normalcy and... I'm still adjusting. Sorry. Crap, I'm rambling again, aren't I? Dammit...
"Come on," she said once her hands were free. "Let's grab the others and go get some shawarma. It's what they did at the end of the Avengers movie. I figure we can do it to. We're kind of like the Avengers, right?"
"Yeah, if the Avengers were a bunch of perverts," I agreed.
"Exactly!" she said brightly. I couldn't help but smile.
"Where is Inanna anyways?"
"She's hanging out with Luke. They wanted to catch up or something." Sookie froze.
"Dude, you know he was totally in love with her, right?"
I shrugged. I didn't know Luke, so I couldn't say that I trusted him. But I knew Inanna, and I trusted her. And I was damn certain Luke wouldn't be doing anything she didn't agree to with her.
"You're gonna tell me that story," I said.
"Dude!" she protested. "Ask your wife, man!"
"Nuh-uh. She'll downplay stuff and twist it to make it seem less important and leave stuff out. You need to tell me."
"I don't even know the whole story!" she exclaimed. I shook my head resolutely. "Nope. You're gonna tell me. But later. For now, let's go get shawarma."
"Fine!" Sookie huffed as we left her penthouse.
----
Luke, God of Hearths and Campfires
Inanna sighed and took a sip of her wine, staring across the small table at Luke.
"Lo-Luke, sorry. I'm glad you got out. That sounded like a nightmare." Luke shrugged and sipped from his own glass.
"I got used to it after a while," he said.
"No," Inanna corrected. "It sounded like a nightmare for everyone around you." She smirked as she said it and Luke laughed.
"Oh, I was absolutely intolerable."
"I bet you were, you little shit."
She finished her glass. "I can't believe you tricked Frank into getting his ass kicked by Glenda."
"I mean, I could feel her strength and anger from like, a hundred yards out. Once I knew she was around, I had to try it."
"He's never gonna forgive you, you know." Luke shrugged. "He's an uptight, honor-bound old dinosaur, still smarting about the first war of the gods. Fuck him if he can't take a joke."
Inanna snorted. Her purse buzzed so she dug into it and pulled out a cellphone.
"That's my cue," she said. "Apparently Sookie wants to get shawarma like the Avengers, whatever that means, and Jerry is humoring her."
"Have them come get you," Luke said.
"You sure about that? I mean, we just had a pretty deep heart to heart..." Inanna trailed off, but Luke could see her brow furrowed in concern. She cared, he knew. She hated the idea of hurting him. She loved him, even.
Just not in that way.
Luke heaved a sigh. "Yeah. I want to have a quick word with him."
Inanna's look turned sardonic. "Luke, trust me, you really don't." Luke waved a dismissive hand.
"Not like that," he objected. "I mean it literally. I just want to talk to him. Besides, even if I did kick his ass -which I totally could, mind- it wouldn't change anything."
Inanna chuckled. Probably at the thought of Luke kicking Jerry's ass. He didn't know Jerry one little bit, but he knew enough to know not to try to make that particular boast a reality. Tysrane was still missing a hand and Sarisa... Well. Luke knew better.
Inanna typed on her phone. "Okay, they're gonna pick up Kathy and then come here. We've got about a half an hour, forty five minutes."
"Just enough time for two more bottles," Luke said, standing up. He went to the bar and put in the order, waiting for the barman to bring him two more full bottles and then returned.
They drank and chatted about little things for a while until the doors opened and Luke saw a slight man with delicate features and eyes as hard as granite standing there. The dude was dressed like a goth Bill Nye, in a charcoal gray shirt, a maroon vest and a bow tie above black slacks. Luke shook his head. Some people just couldn't grasp the basics of good fashion....
Jerry walked over and his face lightened as approached Inanna. "Hey, you ready?" he asked. Inanna threw back the last of her glass and stood, clutching her purse. "Yup! Um, Luke wanted to have a word with you." Jerry looked over, an expression of surprise on his face.
"Okay, sure, no problem," he said.
"I'll be in the car," Inanna told him. She stepped around the table and wrapped Luke in a hug that felt way too good with her husband standing right there.
"You take care, Luke. I expect to hear from you regularly."
"I will do my best," he promised. She scoffed. "Now I know I'll be tracking you down, at some point," she grumbled, planting a quick kiss on his cheek and then moving off. Luke watched her go, mesmerized by her body.
"It's the prettiest butt I've ever seen, too," Jerry said, maybe a little pointedly. He took Inanna's seat.
"Honestly," Luke said, "She's even more beautiful now than she ever was before."
"You know," Jerry said thoughtfully. "I noticed that about another goddess-turned-semi-mortal."
"Oh, it's not that," Luke said. "Though I can definitely understand that a little more... Realism, for lack of a better word, can be a turn on. For me, you humans are weird with your scars and your metabolism and such."
"So if it's not that, then what is it?"
"She's in love," Luke said. He slowly met Jerry's eyes.
"Is that what you wanted to talk about?" Jerry asked.
"Yeah. Well, partially." Luke stuck out a hand. Jerry blinked at it.
"I love her, man," Luke said. "Like a sister, like a lover, like a wife... I just fucking love her. And you.. You make her happier than anything else I've ever seen. I'm not immune to jealousy, and I naturally hate your fucking guts..."
"Naturally," Jerry agreed.
"But you make her happy. And I appreciate that." Jerry slowly reached out and took Luke's hand, giving it a shake.
"And if you ever break her heart I will swoop in and steal her away from you in a heartbeat," Luke added quickly. Jerry smirked.
"I'm uh..." Luke said. "I'm gonna be away for a while. I didn't want to tell her. I need to clear my head and I'm not going to do that here. Too many memories, not just of her, but other stuff."
"You served some kind of punishment on earth," Jerry said. Luke nodded. "Yeah. And I was a right bastard for most of it, too. I kinda feel bad about that."
"Not going to stick around and make amends?" Jerry asked. Luke snorted.
"Trust me, anyone I have to make amends to will be ecstatic to learn that I've vanished. I didn't want to tell Inanna, but I also didn't want her to not know. So, I'm telling you."
"I understand," Jerry said, and Luke heard something in his voice. He really did understand. He stuck out his hand again.
"Well, it was a pleasure to meet the hero of humanity," Luke said, a little too loudly as Jerry shook his hand for the second time. A few heads turned, spotting his companion and the whispered began.
"Oh, crap," Jerry said, noticing being noticed. Luke smirked. "Be good to your fans, man."
A trio of women stood up from their table and approached. Luke used the opportunity to slip away. By the time he made it to the door, Jerry was being mobbed by people asking him questions and asking for autographs and photos. One woman already had her tits out and was waving a sharpie at him. Impressive.
He walked out onto the street, giving a little wave to the massive, glossy black military humvee parked there, and then vanished.
----
Jerry Williams, Just Some Guy, Finally
I got through the meeting at the White House and made it to my car before it hit me. I sat behind the wheel, the keys on my lap and hyperventilated as tears poured from my eyes. I ground my teeth and clenched my fists, straining hard enough to form cracks in my jaw and hands that healed over before new cracks appeared.
After ten minutes or so, the episode passed and I sucked in deep breaths and wiped my face. The episodes had started about a week after the events in the Sixteenth world, and had reached a climax about four weeks ago, when I could barely leave the house.
They've been coming slower ever since. Ending faster.
I wasn't sure if it was all the attention that caused it or not. The broad strokes of the story had gotten out and spread within days, of course. A couple of hundred soldiers had survived the fighting at Ginungagap. I had briefed General Stanley on the role I'd played, and of course, everyone had heard my pronouncement and the implied threat. When the group of us from the Sixteenth world had returned, the story was told from a dozen perspectives, many of those quickly reaching the soldiers.
And every survivor with a cell phone had contacted their friends and family to tell the story as soon as they returned to Earth.
I got swarmed several times. Inanna's old flame, Luke, had even used that to slip out of our brief meeting, in which he told me he'd be gone for a good long time. He was also pretty magnanimous about Inanna, so I tried not to hold it against him.
A lot of people knew that The Legend of Jimmy was based on the true story of how magic and the gods had returned. At least, the first two seasons were. The following seasons had gone a little off the rails, but Sookie had plans to end the series on another 'true-ish' story. But all those millions and millions of fans of the show recognized me. I mean, the guy who played Jimmy was just this side of a dead ringer for me, after all.
So almost everywhere I went, if I was in public, people were noticing me. They were approaching me, asking for autographs or offering to buy me a beer. A lot of them just wanted me to tell them what happened in my own words. And there's nothing wrong with that, really.
I just didn't know how to tell them.
How do I tell someone that I'm not 'The Chosen One', I'm just some dude who fit the profile? How do I tell them that if I'd just been less of an insecure little chickenshit when Sarisa first met me, we could have done this without all the loss? How do I tell them that I used Avarisa to salve my own pain, then killed her when she got in my way without a second thought? How do I explain all those things? That wasn't even all of it. Christ, it wasn't even most of it.
I'd taken to avoiding public spaces, and my infrequent appearances in them had finally tamped down on things. I thought maybe that's why these attacks were fading, but I hoped not. I hoped I was just adjusting, finally. Because I had a feeling that, while my fame might have been simmering, it would never really cool down.
Julie was beside herself. She had sent Bill and a small team to aid me, and lost the man she loved in the process. I was still employed, still had my position at the Group. She had assured me that the issue with the succubusses was settled, and even tried to apologize for firing me. But she was a wreck. Astrid had mostly taken over running the Group for her. Supposedly, Julie didn't blame me, but I didn't understand how that could possibly be true. I blamed me.
Inanna was having nightmares. Almost every night, she woke in a panic and I had to coddle her back to sleep. The kids were having nightmares, too. I'd spared them the worst of it, but they had still been through the ringer.
Aaina... Aaina was my little princess no longer. Swaim and Ningur had gotten together behind my back and give her wells of power. She had missed enough of her senior year of school that she was supposed to repeat it, but she'd elected to do her GED, instead. Now, she was taking a 'break year' and spending that time with her two besties and Larry, traveling the world.
Kathy and Gary were doing well, which was good, but I was half convinced those two were immune to trauma at this point. Chris had retired. He hung up his gun and was letting Gary bring home the bacon, spending his time as a stay at home dad. He said seeing the end of the world had made him understand his priorities better, and then joked about being a trophy wife. And to be fair, he was gorgeous, so Gary had a great trophy, in that sense.
Yarm was still busy all the time. His boys were sticking with him, and I'm pretty sure he'd given them wells of power, as well. Eddis had nearly died back when his house was attacked, so I didn't blame him. But that left Brekka all alone.
After some confusion and negotiations, we got Esmeralda and Maria moved in with her. A week later, Esmeralda admitted that she had stopped sleeping in her room and was sleeping with Brekka. I suppose that was predictable. Brekka was as gorgeous as Chris, just in a feminine way. And one didn't get to be picked to become a succubus years back by not having a libido.
Marie was even using the term "Momma Brekka," which was endearing. The portrait of Dylan hanging on a wall in their living room was less so, but whatever.
I was still lost in my reverie when a sharp rap sounded from my window. I jumped in fright, and looked out to see a Marine standing there. I fumbled the key into the ignition and got the accessories on, then rolled down the window.
"Yes?" I asked.
"Sir, I was asked to check on you. You've been sitting in your vehicle for an hour. People were getting worried."
I smiled. I tried to make it a reassuring smile, but I honestly had no idea if I succeeded or not.
"I'm fine, Corporal," I said, eyeing his rank stripes. "I've just had a lot on my mind."
"Very well, sir," he said and turned, then stopped.
"Was there something else?" I asked.
He nodded and turned back. "Sir, my brother... He always emulated me, but always competed with me, too. When I joined the Corps, he joined the Army. He was there in... Er, on the other side. He fought there."
I nodded somberly. "Did he come home?" I asked quietly.
"Yes, sir. He came home and told me about what happened. He said they were down to fighting inside the base, almost entirely overrun when you showed up and... Well, in his words 'Laid your dick out on the table and challenged the gods to suck it.' I don't know, exactly, what you did or said, but... Thank you. You saved my brother's life, sir."
I smiled at him. "You're welcome," I said. I'd long ago learned to stop accepting people's thanks. They wouldn't leave me along until I did. The Marine stiffened to attention and rendered me a crisp salute. I saluted him back as best I could, sitting in the car. I hoped that wasn't disrespectful, what with me never having been in the military.
He didn't seem to take offense at it. He turned and walked back towards the gate that led to the White House grounds, by the West Wing.
I started up the Humvee and my phone dinged as soon as I got my seatbelt buckled. I checked it before I moved off to find a message from Inanna.
"What do you want to do for dinner? The kids are starving."
I smiled at the message. I smiled so hard my face began to hurt and my eyes filled with tears again. I guess it was the sheer mundanity of it that got to me, but I honestly couldn't think of anything I'd rather be doing at that moment than arguing with Inanna over what to have for dinner. I sent her a gif of a bunch of slips of paper in a pan, each one with "I don't know" written on it, then I dialed her number and put the humvee in gear.
Part 82 (Final Part)

*Trigger warning: Depiction of a male character acting in an oppressive and aggressive manner towards a female character. Depiction of a very uncaring mother.
This version has detailed depictions of self-defense/sport violence and injuries. If you rather not read those details, please read this version with less gross details)
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POV: Jakub Pilčík

I wasn't going to give them anything for free. I wasn't about to let them throw me out of an airlock, and I figured they should drastically reduce the jail time as well.
Commander: I'm interested to know how you chose who to send your information to.
Jakub (with a smirk): I did my job.
Commander (without showing any emotion): - - Which part of your job in particular?
Jakub: Listening in on discussions going into and out of the station, of course.
Commander: I distinctly remember you reporting that you couldn't crack their coding and listening in was impossible.
Jakub (smugly): I lied.
Ms. Saleh: Hypothetically. My client admits to no actual wrongdoing regarding his service.
Jakub: Oh, shut up! I lied! I lied, I lied, I lied! I lied for days! I listened in and kept all the information to myself. I knew it would come in handy at some point. Information is power, as my mother often said.
Ms. Saleh (hanging her head): Aaa...
Commander: So you freely admit dereliction of duty and false official statements?
Jakub: Sure. Yes, I do.
Commander: Why did you commit these acts against Terra?
Jakub: Because I so easily could! You are so frecking trusting and proper and good, the lot of you, not an original thinker among you. I, on the other hand, am intelligent and shrewd. The money I didn't mind either.
Ms. Saleh: Oh, my God. Please, stop talking, Mr. Pilčík.
Commander (still giving out nothing): Money?
Jakub: I'm a masterful negotiator, as well. The angry birds paid me handsomely for the rescue plans.
Ms. Saleh (throwing her hands up): - -
Commander: They did?
Jakub: Oh, yes. I masked my voice, and my location by masking the time it took me to reply, even the bank information. They couldn't have found me later on.
Commander: So what went wrong?
Jakub: What went wrong? Despite having every minute detail of the mission those bloody bastards failed! They were supposed to kill or capture everyone and then storm the ship. In the commotion, I would have slipped into an emergency pod. I had everything planned.
Commander (showing surprise the first time during the interrogation): How...how did you think they could have "stormed" the ship?
Jakub: I would have opened the door remotely and then shut down the lights. You would have been blindsided and weak.
Commander (blinking several times): Ok, let's leave that for a moment. Why did no one else manage to listen in on the messages?
Jakub: I removed a piece, a sort of frequency filter inside all the devices, even the backup one. All other communication came through fine, just not this one because it uses a different frequency area than normal. When I came to my shift, I just put the piece back on and then removed it at the end of my shift. Easy for someone of my talent.
Commander: And why are you now telling me all this, despite your lawyer advising against it?
Jakub: Because I am the only one who knows what the avians are planning next! And I want certain things from you.
Commander: Such as?
Jakub (showing anger and deep-rooted resentment): Some respect would be nice, for a change! I want the death penalty totally off the table, and only a very short prison sentence in a lightly guarded facility back on Earth. And all information that I was ever in the armed forces and the whole treason thing removed from public records.
Commander (very politely though biting his teeth): Well, that is certainly a big ask. I will have to inform my superiors of this. It will take some time. I hope you will excuse me.

POV: Commander

The traitor was more than insufferable. Every moment in his presence was almost physically mortifying. He was intolerably conceited and outrageously stupid. Somehow he managed to be both painfully naive and wildly malevolent. The entire thing would have been ludicrous if it didn't shine a light on incompetence on our - and ultimately my - part.
We had all sensed something being seriously wrong with him, yet done nothing to either monitor him or look into his past or even sanity. Someone high up had recommended him to my superior. At the time I had thought nothing of it but now I was suspicious. Maybe this mother he mentioned with such pride in his voice was behind his promotion to my ship.
One of our specialties was intelligence. It was time to do that. And carry out some changes to our procedures. I just really hated to make my men and women feel they weren't trusted. Aside from making the work environment bleak, that sort of thing got in the way of cooperation and hindered information flow.
I gave the assignment to look into the past of the traitorous lowlife. Then it was time to make his bartering chip disappear.
'Did his job'! As if. I was extremely glad of his idiocy, of course. But it was just so galling that he managed the betrayal in the first place.
Now, all communication was saved in multiple locations in redundant mirror data storages onboard the Bolt. Some with access only granted to senior officers. Randomly cut into portions, especially heavily encrypted message packages were sent to Terra to be reassembled. In addition, our delivery method hadn't been discovered, not to mention breached, ever. It was a virtual impossibility for the communication to be completely gone.
Additionally, with Mateo's help, we had cracked the Dromaian coding while planning the mission. All I needed was to show the "alleged" perpetrator the evidence of his leaking the mission plans, making plans with the enemy to facilitate a storming into the bolt, and negotiating the monetary compensation for the treasonous actions.
'I'll just open the door and put the lights out.' A four-year-old would come up with a more convincing plan. I mean, it's not like there would be no tech to prevent it, and sliding bulkheads, a labyrinth of corridors, adjustable gravity, and night-vision in our helmets (or in our eyes for some of us). Then the company had 186 special operations soldiers and 34 support staff. Even discounting all those participating in the mission, hardly an insignificant number. We had K9 units!
Even the last part of his plan was reckless in its folly. Yes, many Terran escape pods were really escape crafts with FTL capability. Yes, we had both onboard. But, they couldn't just be commandeered whenever the fancy took you!
Without a declared emergency (a minor scuffle at the door would hardly make anyone declare an emergency!), catastrophic failure of ship integrity or officer's code escape crafts could not be launched.
Erroneously launched pods could be returned from onboard the Bolt and the emergency crafts could be immobilized and then retrieved. We Terrans upgraded all the technology we received, bartered, salvaged, or ... let's just say 'happened to find in our possession'.
Just reverse engineering is for schmucks! What's the point of that? Terrans improve upon, we enhance, exceed, outdo, add value, and emend. We derive new ideas and new inventions from it. We create entire industries from a single found (or "found") component.
A bit over an hour later I had all I needed to confront the traitor.

POV: Counsel Saleh

I was at a loss. My client was an arrogant fool, the worst kind of client possible. This was an unmitigated disaster. He incriminated himself, proudly, and then proceeded to boast by explaining in detail how he did it. Just when I thought at least it couldn't get any worse, it did. He extorted the company commander! He withheld crucial information in exchange for a lesser verdict.
First of all, the company commander is not the person who could grant that. Secondly, this information is not crucial to the commander; it is crucial to Terra. He just committed another act of treason right in front of me!
That normally makes me a witness, thus excluding me from the position of his legal counsel. I contacted JAG. Unfortunately for me, they decided this new act of treason will be tried separately. Nothing was preventing me from continuing as Mr. Pilčík's legal counsel. Oh, "joy"!

POV: Jakub Pilčík

The old lawyer wouldn't leave me alone.
Legal counsel: Mr. Pilčík, perhaps we should take a look at the mitigating factors in treason sentencing you didn't find time to do before now.
Jakub: Why would we? My plan is coming together beautifully.
Legal counsel: Sure. But just in case every detail doesn't go well, just for a backup plan...
Jakub: Listen to me. Watch me say it: N-O N-E-E-D.
Legal counsel: How about as an academic exercise? We are just waiting for the commander to return.
My mother always emphasized the importance of learning things that might become useful later. After some ruminating, I let the silence become uncomfortable for her. A little punishment for pestering me.
Jakub: Alright, I can see some limited value in that.
Legal counsel: I have the list of mitigating factors here, in 6 § of the Treason Against Terra (13.8.2230/1288). Mr. Pilčík, would you consider any of these applicable to you?
Jakub: "Voluntary admission of guilt", I guess.
Legal counsel: Yes, you are right, that would certainly apply!
Jakub: Do I detect some disapproval in your tone of voice, Ms. Old Lawyer Lady?
Legal counsel (obviously gritting her teeth): None intensional, I'm sure! I apologize earnestly if something in my tone erroneously implied such!
Finally, I was enjoying myself.
Jakub: Hmm ... I'll let it slide. This time. - - "Full confession"?
Legal counsel: Certainly, except the same factor includes "ready cooperation".
Jakub (raising his void): Are you saying I'm not cooperative?
Legal counsel: Sadly, legally speaking, demanding a reduced sentence in exchange is not considered "cooperation". How about "past circumstances, such as abuse or trauma"?
Jakub: Like PTSD? I'm not a sad coward!
Legal counsel: That's really not what it means but let's go on. Any chance of "emotional problems"?
Jakub: This is pointless. I'm not mentally ill. I knew what I did and I anticipated fatalities and loss of technology to the enemy. I even counted on it to make my getaway. Everyone else dead, I would have been hailed the hero as the lone survivor bringing the 'horrible' news back!
Legal counsel: You - - you - - you really attempted to murder almost 200 military personnel for your own gain!
Jakub: Go big and go home! My mother would've been so proud of his hero son. Like mother like son.
Legal counsel: But she is the real hero of the Sol blockade.
Jakub: Hah! She was delivering contraband to the bastards blockading us! She was making a fortune by transporting coffee of all things to the enemy.
Legal counsel: But she broke the blockade!
Jakub: Entirely by accident. Caffeine is very addictive to them. Her clients ordered but couldn't pay, and decided to hold her until she gave them the entire cargo. Mother chose not to, and detonated a bomb she had placed beforehand. "Always plan ahead", she always said.
Jakub: Accidentally the bomb created a cascading effect on the poorly constructed installation and the whole thing blew up. She barely got out herself. By pure chance - and poor management - most of their vessels were in, queueing for maintenance overhaul. They got destroyed as well. Mother destroyed the contraband by ditching and then shooting it. Then she just made a bald-faced lie to her superiors.
Legal counsel (almost crying): That's horrible. All the statues, all the gratitude, all the gifts...
Jakub: She did actually save the day, just quite a lot less altruistically than you thought.
Legal counsel: But she was practically a drug dealer and a smuggler! Why would you tell me this?!
Jakub: Because while you can feel as outraged as you wish, you can never tell another soul in your life! Attorney-client privilege!
I gave her my best evil laugh. She looked crestfallen and horrified, just as I intended. I let a smug, toothy grin spread on my face. She was obediently quiet from then on.
It wasn't that long a wait until the Commander got back from the little errand I sent him on. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation of more groveling from the high and mighty Commander of the Bolt.
He walked in with a Holoslip^TM. He sat down. And... nothing. It was unnerving. Be just looked at me coldly. He didn't act subservient or like a petitioner. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and opened my mouth to demand to know what his superiors said.
But just as I opened my mouth the commander lightly tapped his opened Holoslip^TM. A voice was heard, my voice. My voice and that of a Dromaius, agreeing on the last details of our deal, and then my voice gave the bank details. I felt faint.
At least they didn't know where the money went from there! Except, the Holoslip^TM showed every deposit and withdrawal, including my secret account. The account had an administrative notification that the funds were unavailable due to a court order. My money was gone!
Jakub: Is this your counteroffer? You're holding my money ransom until I give you the intel? I hold the power here! That is just some scraps compared to my mother's riches. I, on the other hand, hold the lives or uncountable lives as ransom. Terran lives, but also xeno lives! I can get back what you're holding, you can't get back the li...
Just then the commander tapped the Holoslip^TM again and out came the Dromaia informing the conspirators on the station of what was going to happen. My guarantee: gone. Then he played Dromaian communiques I had never heard myself, by many different speakers.
They had cracked their code even though I deleted the codebreaking from the computer the AI had stored it on. Had they cracked it on their own, without the AI? Who could have managed that?! And how did they have those recordings I had deleted and even scrubbed?
Commander: Mateo, and executive backups.
Jakub: ^Whaat?
Commander: You were wondering who cracked the Dromaian code. It was Mateo.
My hands turned into fists. Of course it was that brat! Always prancing around in the adoration of everyone in the crew, acting sooo smart...
Commander: And executive backups. Everything that even comes close to our systems is backed up in secret data storage units ... around ... and only senior officers can get to them. You deleted zilch. You have zilch!
Jakub: ^Zilch?
Commander: Nothing. Nil, nowt, zip, nada, naught, jack, diddly-squat, nix, bupkis, ko ni^*, e^∆ , 없어요 ^# .
Jakub: Oh.
Commander: So, let's recap. You committed treason by conspiring with the enemy to kill children and Terran military personnel, hand over a secret Terran military vessel with all its tech and intel, by planning to steal a Terran emergency vessel, and by receiving a monetary incentive from said enemy.
Commander: When your plan failed and you got caught you commenced to blackmail the Terran Command by withholding crucial, life-saving intel you had come by through the trust the military placed in you. Is that about right?
Jakub: ^{I guess.}
Commander: Against the advice of your legal counsel you freely also admitted to dereliction of duty and false official statements. Is that correct?
Jakub: ^mnmn
Commander (with a slower, deeper voice, pronouncing every syllable separately): Is that cor-rect?
Jakub: ^Yes.
Commander: I don't think there's much more to discuss.
Jakub: No, it can't go like this! I'm smart and cunning! I outsmart everyone on this boat!
Commander (standing up): Funny. From where I'm standing it sure looks like you didn't.
Jakub: No! Don't go! I had long talks with that Dromaia! I'm sure there's something important I can tell you!
Commander (at the door): We have all those recordings, did you forget?
Jakub: This can't be happening. NO!! Please! There has to be something! Please, something, anything?
The commander harumphed and closed the door. I turned to my lawyer with a violent snarl.
Jakub: You! You failed me! This is all your fault!
Legal counsel: Hold on, Mr. Pilčík! You took none of my advice.
I was going to make someone suffer. This frail, elderly woman was going to get a trashing. I prepared my fists and approached her with a mean look.
Jakub: You are going to apologize to me, even if I have to beat it out of you!
Legal counsel: I am warning you: I will defend myself and the inviolability of my body.
Jakub: Defend all you like! I am bigger than you, meaner than you, and I am a man!
I cocked my arm back to throw a powerful haymaker. But then...she stepped towards me and before I knew it, she threw a quick, linear jab. She was tall, for a woman. She got me right on the nose. She was tall but slim, so it wasn't that powerful of a hit, but the shock! I instinctually lifted my fists to protect my head.
She retracted her hand close to her head. I expected another hit that I would counter and then beat her to a pulp. Instead, pain exploded on my side. I fell and saw her return her leg back down. She kicked me! I think she broke a rib!
Why was nothing working for me?! They were going to make a spectacle out of me and throw me out of the airlock with the entire crew clapping and laughing. AT ME!! No. No, no, no, no...

POV: Commander

As I walked out next to the guard station I saw on the monitor that traitorous lowlife trying to get his frustrations out by pommeling what he assumed was a soft target. How wrong he was. Ms. Saleh, our kick-boxing champion, performed a flawless left jab-right roundhouse kick to his left ribcage. He was down with a bloody nose and aching side. Serves him right.
MP Sgt. Stavropoulos looked up from the monitor and we shared a wicked grin.
I started to walk to my next meeting, a 10-person assembly to determine if we had corrected our error with the underage POW. I didn't make it there though. A klaxon sounded and the ship entered normal space and stopped. The disturbance was on the deck with the brig. What now!
MP Sgt. Stavropoulos: Commander! The traitor prick got loose and is now barricaded into airlock #52 near the brig. He says he is opening the outer airlock to deprive us of the satisfaction!
Commander: Try to force open the inner lock before he opens the outer one! I'll be right there!
I ran like the Dromaia were chasing me. When I got there the traitor looked right at me and opened the outer lock. His look turned scared and it looked like he tried to close the outer lock. He ran out of time. His eyes had frostbite when the water in them evaporated, and the blood coming from his nose froze as well. Something I didn't immediately recognize froze around his mouth.
His body started convulsing. We were running out of time to save him. I could hear the MP trying to hurry the EVA team along. He didn't have a pressure suit or even anything elastic to stop water vapor from forming in his soft tissues making them swell. He stopped convulsing and I knew it was too late.
He wasn't "dead" dead yet, just "mostly" dead, but his heart would already be too damaged for resuscitation or artificial pump replacements due to his blood boiling for the low blood pressure, and his lungs too far ruptured due to the pressure differences to be replaced with artificial ventilation.
I watched the EVA team arrive about two minutes too late, retrieve the body and start fixing the inner door the fool had broken. This death was quick but hardly instantaneous. He was conscious for about 10-20 seconds. That's how long it takes for your lungs' function to reverse and for them to exhale oxygen and replace the blood in your brain to deoxygenated, making the hypoxia set in faster. Still, enough time to regret and get terrified.
MP Sgt. Stavropoulos: I am so sorry, commander. It happened so fast!
Commander: How did he get out of restraints?
MP Sgt. Stavropoulos: When we were escorting him to his cell, he suddenly vomited violently, and more blood came from his mouth, too. He sounded like he couldn't breathe. I just opened his restraints to help him... I am sorry. He didn't seem to be in any condition to make trouble.
Commander: It's okay, Sgt., I might've done the same. He was desperate and defiant, not a good combination.
MP Sgt. Stavropoulos: Thank you, sir.
I walked briskly to my office to do my duty: call his mother.
... ... ...
Jakub's mother: So let's see if I got this right. My son committed treason, many times over and got caught. On tape. With the money. Then he got into an altercation with a female lawyer and lost in 3 seconds flat. He vomited on the corridor but took the opportunity to flee and self-terminate successfully in the nearby airlock.
Commander: These are the facts but I didn't deliver them in quite that manner.
Jakub's mother: No you were compassionate, I'm sure. I have no time for that. My son was a failure I tried to distance myself from. The only thing he was successful in was removing himself permanently and saving me from some grief. Thank you, commander. Death notice received. I authorize burial in space. Good day.
For the first time, I felt some sympathy for the man.
°°°°°°°° °°°°°°° °°°°°° °°°°° °°° °°
^* Yoruba ("Nigerian") for 'not have'
^∆ Proto-Uralic for 'no'
^# Korean for 'not having something'
°°°°°°°° °°°°°°° °°°°°° °°°°° °°° °°
First Previous This - less gross details Next Next - fewer abuse details

Since GuP has a big cast of characters, it's hard to keep track of who gets attention from who so might as well do an interaction with the other seven of Ooarai's teams that don't recieve as much attention as Anglerfish team where everyone involved is unrecognizable, and yet a canon character.
"Hey Ooarai, I want to say that Miho is sick and Anglerfish team is absent. Okay bye." Anzu told everyone that their leader is gone and they now needed to figure out how to do everything themselves. Anzu slipped off as the rest of the team was left to fend for themselves.
"Oh no, how could this happen? When we let her wander off completely alone." Noriko asked what happened to Miho and her friends.
"No! Not the leader within respect!" Midoriko called out as if they had no pilot to drive this plane.
"Wait! No. Does that mean... that... Azusa Sawa is our leader now?" Akebi asked nervously, she was scared if Azusa had taken over Ooarai.
"Don't say that, that's even worse." Shinobu told Akebi to keep her mouth shut.
"I make sure we're good at this turn of events." Momoga told the group to not panic. Piyotan was watching from the background and giving Momoga a thumbs up.
"Doing great Momoga, keep those reactions, general and uninteresting." Piyotan complimented Momoga for her speech.
"Hey, be quiet background characters, Azusa Sawa will make a great leader." Momo told the group to not get fussy over Rabbit team's commander being the new overall commander of the school.
"Who are you calling a background character? You're literally Momo Kawashima." Nekota asked Momo who she was going to say who was who.
"No one knows you exist because your actual name is Mai Nekota." Momo told Nekota that she was going to set her in her place.
"People know your siblings better than you and they're not even in Ooarai." Nekota told Momo that users make more art about her family than her.
"Everyone, everyone, stop fighting, if we were born after the Power of Three we're all equally irrelevent in the eyes of StarClan." Taiga told the group to stop bickering and they are irrelevent and have no good stories.
"What do you know Taiga?" Ayumi asked if the newsreporter of Ooarai knew a thing or two about Azusa being their next leader.
"Great Job Ayumi, you're starting to sound like a real Ooarai Sensha-Do girl." Tsuchiya gave Ayumi a participation word, she was happy for the first year. Aya however was ready to bark back.
"Taiga is the news reporter of Ooarai, she's never really done anything." Aya told the group that she seemed to be uninterested.
Azusa was watching from a far on a bench smiling to herself while the rest of the team broke down into a fight.
"Ah yes, my kingdom. The beautiful world I have inherited." Azusa began while speaking to herself. She smirked with excitement as being leader had its perks that she was willing to take full advantage of. "I'm going to eat SO... MUCH... HONEY!"
The only thing relavent with this post is Azusa having all the honey in the school and possibly the Sensha-Do world.

Throwaway because I am SOOOOOO embarrassed. In PE today, we were doing beach volleyball and it was v casual, not really tracking points or only 3 hits, just chill. I saw someone I occasionally talk to (No more than 10 times throughout the time we've known each other in the past 2-3 months) talking to someone else, and I thought I heard them say to this other person "If (muffled) can't then you can do it". This kid was kind of a Try hard, and some people were legit just standing around doing nothing, and the person I occasionally talk to was participating, but not very much. I heard this and thought it was because the tryhard kid was being a jerk, because everyone is sometimes, and he sometimes is. Examples include: barely letting anyone else serve, at one point saying stuff like "I just don't get why someone is using these pronouns", again this is a high school in Wisconsin, respect isn't a given, and it's stuff people will grow out of. I thought he said something to the effect of "This kind of person is less than", and that the person I occasionally talk to was purposely putting in less effort to spite him. They never hit it super hard despite being in the front, and after most of their missed or not too good hits, they looked at the other person and somewhat smirked and/or shook their head (like they were saying no, example: Audience Reaction GIF by Originals - Find & Share on GIPHY but w/o the finger shaking). I have done this once in the same class, we had a sub and I literally did the meme of getting picked last in PE, so I didn't put in effort that day to spite the people who didn't know my name or know that I'm not bad at volleyball.
I rarely have the energy to be petty, so at the end of class, I said something like "mad respect for being petty today, I could never" and they kind of smiled and then asked me what I meant. I said something like "putting in no effort to spite someone", they kind of nodded, looked down and then I left. We were having this conversation on our way to pick up our backpacks, we can either put them in a room connected to the gym or locker rooms, and we both put them in the room connected to the gym. Only when I was almost out of the school doors (PE is the last class of the day) did I realize that they might have actually been doing their best and I talked to them assuming it was their worst. I feel like a total jerk, and I'll apologize tomorrow because that was really crappy of me, and I'll either give an update or delete this post. I'm definitely the asshole, no point on posting this on AITA. The guilt has been killing me for the past few hours, and I'm so so sorry.
TL;DR: Person seemed to be having a sassy/mean conversation with try hard, didn't do great today in PE, I thought they weren't putting in effort to be petty to try hard, they may not have been and I'm a total dickwad.
ISTG if anyone in our class or school reads this, I'm going to be VERY embarrassed.