Everything everywhere all at once imdb

im 22f and i just graduated from university which i think should be considered pretty like. adult and independent but my parents treat me like im 12 years old or something but only when it’s convenient for them ?
for context i am pretty mentally ill and struggle with suicidal thoughts often and they don’t give a shit about that, they tell me to stop talking about it and that no one wants to hear it and i don’t have any reason to feel that way, my dad also threatened to dump water on me yesterday for bringing it up - basically my point here is they have no concern for my well-being when it comes to mental health
so now on the other hand ive made some friends in my city and been meeting up with them and going out more often which has been really nice for my mental health because it’s a lot harder when i am isolated alone at home - and every time i even mention that im leaving the house to my parents they interrogate me and grill me about where im going, what I’m doing, who im meeting, and insist on knowing all the details about said friends ; once i refused and my mom said she was going to follow me out to the car because “she had the right to know who i was talking to”. my dad says he’s “trying to protect me because that’s what parents do” because i mentioned that some of the friends happen to be men?? there’s also insane double standards with my brother like they don’t care where he goes or what he does
my dad also hates when i show skin even if it’s crazy hot out and implies stuff like tank tops are underwear (started being like that when i was like 16!!) and also hates me getting tattoos, he claims that looking at tattoos on MY legs “upsets” him
basically my parents are emotionally absent and helicopter parents at the same time and i don’t know what im supposed to do bc how am i supposed to enjoy being 22 like this !

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For those with adult diagnoses, especially late-life diagnoses: Reflecting back on your childhood, what signs/symptoms of ADHD did you and/or others miss that made you say, “Oh, now it makes sense!” after you were diagnosed? I’ll share some of mine (diagnosed at 43).

1. In order to be able to focus on my homework, I would sit in my room with both the TV and radio on and be talking on the phone (landline in those days) while working on my homework. If I didn’t have all that stimulation, I couldn’t start and/or finish it.
   
2. Report card comment from my 4th-grade teacher. “She is often preoccupied.” Not knowing what she meant, this statement stuck with me my entire life and only clicked when I got my diagnosis.
   
3. I was way more productive when I procrastinated until the night before (this was with everything: regular homework, projects, presentations, science fairs, studying for exams, etc.). If I tried to start the work when it was assigned I couldn’t get much accomplished no matter how much I tried.
   
4. Boredom!! I was always bored in school! Yes, all kids get bored in school, but this was not because school and learning were not engaging enough or the teachers sucked. I had generally wonderful teachers, but something in my brain yearned for more stimulation.
   

I’d finish my work early and have to get the Scholastic Reading Intervention cards (which I enjoyed) and do reading comprehension questions. And then scored 3-5 grade levels above on the state reading assessments every time. Not to mention, I was an honor roll, A & B student… Honors/TAG & AP classes, so of course no one thought I had ADHD. What about you?

My now ex gf 16f who i will refer to as "A" broke up with me 16m (both 15 at the time) because she was going to kill her self.
When i first met her she was the average uk stoner having done a few class As in the past, only having one other relationship where she was abused mentally. she did not like talking abt it but i think i can infer the details. i had had 0 experience in relationships 0 experience with drugs/ alcohol, i was a complete newbie to everything. we were almost polar opposites to each other: she had dropped out of school and now goes to a special school for kids with behavioral issues. i was and still am high achieving whilst maintaining a good reputation with my peers, i think this is what made us so interested in each other to be honest.
She had opened up to me about her depression and her trust issues before going into our relationship. i would like to say we fell pretty hard for each other but im sure i fell hardest as im still in disbelieve she did this to me even two months later. when i was with her i was the happiest i had ever ever been. it was weird, i did not think just being with somebody else could make me this happy. we were both in love. during our relationship we only had 2 arguments with us both getting over them within in at least 12 hours, we had a pact where we wound not bring them up again this worked very well, this was her idea to which i mutually agreed.
one day out of the blue i woke up to a long paragraph from her, she said we should end it because she was not in the right space for a relationship at this time, this was a lye which i later found out. i did not read the whole thing i think i was too in shock to after the first two lines everything was a blur. the message did not seem remorseful it didn't seem sincere. i asked to meet later that day which i knew she could as she only went to school once every blue moon. we met up later that day after i had school, she said she was going somewhere. she couldn't tell me where, she couldn't tell me who she was going with, she couldn't tell me what she was going to do there. perhaps she was talking about the afterlife, im not sure. that was all she told me - that day.
i was livid, i could not believe she was going to do this to me. me and her bsf 15f were both in denial that she was actually going to do this as all three of us knew we made each other happy. i took her on the right path to improving as a person, she so said her self and her bsf. right there and then whilst both of us were in tears sitting on my bed i blocked her and her friends on all socials systematically followed by delating every photo i had of her, im still unsure that this was the right decision to make at the time but it was the only thing i could think of to do as a last attempt to make her turn around and say don't do this or something like that. i hoped wrong.
one of the last things i said to her was promise me your not going to kill your self, she nodded gently. we both left my house and walked to the station holding hands in silence. i think i was too starstruck to talk. we got to the station, she asked if i wanted to kiss, without saying anything we both leaned in. i said i love you as she walked off to board the train after not talking for a long, panful 45 mins, this was reciprocated by "i love you too". later that evening i went round my mates house got drunk and talked the whole thing over with him i had to get this off my chest (pun intended) right there and then. this was the end. so i thought...
we didn't talk for two weeks. all i could think about was her. she messaged me on my birthday to say "happy birthday elliot" i now hate her for this. why had she done this to me right now, why is she messaging me again. i had made it clear in the break up that we were not going to message each other again. i had blocked her on everything. but i had forgotten to blocker her number. i don't remember exactly what i said but i was desperate, something along the lines of "i could have fixed this im sorry". she said i couldn't have fixed this and that the entire thing was her fault.
we kept messaging for another week. this was hell for me, im still not sure why i hated this week so much. on the 6th day of messaging she confessed to me, i remember it word for word, "i don't plan on being alive for much longer after summer". i didn't react. i just continued the previous conversation im not sure why i did this either. this pissed her off i think. i dont remember much more of what was said but i remember simply saying your not going to do it. she said she was going to. the next day i told her she was week and selfish for doing this to me i told her she was, "taking the easy way out". i blocked her number this time. we haven't messaged since.
a week back i messaged the same bsf, as i mention earlier, happy birthday we have been talking since, mostly not about her just other things. on a completely different note i have a new girl, im going to call her E, who i am messaging she wants to meet after our gcses (the UKs SATs equivalent). shes high achieving, smart, funny, cute but a tad on the boring side, unlike A. i believe i have moved on from A.
however last night we talked about A. she said she believes that A is likely not to kill her self anymore, i was fuming to hear this. i want her to do it i wont lye. i said this to the bsf she said she understand how i feel. i told her to message A if she would ever think about getting back with me because admittedly i would get back with her. i have had nobody make me this happy before in my life, i want that feeling again. A said she would see whether she would reconsider in collage (all four of us are going to the same collage the bsf, A, E and me). collage is 3 months away.
also to add, i manipulated A a lot along with E who i am currently talking to. i know i have to stop this but i cant. its almost pleasurable, i get some kind of sick enjoyment out of doing it. i also believe i am a narcissist, so say my friends, my family, and the bsf.
this brings me to the current moment. im not sure why i am writing this tbh. please feel free to give me advice in the comments thank you very much for reading this wonderful people of reddit x

As a cis-het dude (probably) I hear the word "confidence" getting tossed around a lot. Needing to be confident. Needing to exude confidence. And with that comes the micromanagement of my smile, my body, whether to hold hands, when to offer a physical embrace, etc. Because that's what we're expected to do: be confident. Make the other person feel safe.
I've always rankled at this arms-race of confidence, and now I think I understand why. Being confident helps my potential partner feel safe, but what good does that do when I don't feel safe with them?
Looking back, I have hardly ever felt safe or secure with the women I've dated. There's always been an uncomfortable distance. A coldness. Or maybe not coldness, but an air of tension. As if they keep waiting for me to give them something without offering any clues. And I keep trying to perform (often overperform) with humor or forced enthusiasm, resulting in either A) my dates leaving early or B) radio silence after the fact. The end result is a bad date, not specifically because nothing came of it, but because I end up a nervous wreck, which in turn feeds my self-loathing issues. All because I spend 99% of the date in a state of utter panic or despair.
Take my last date. I had been talking to this person online for a while, but when we met up things were different. We hugged, but it didn't feel right. She kept looking at me as if expecting something, but I couldn't figure out what. Any jokes or levity I attempted to inject into the date fell flat, or were answered with what felt like jabs at my expense (really it was at the expense of Capitalism or the art world or whatever, but still). She ended up leaving early, which was honestly for the best, and I felt horrible for days after.
Now let's look at a counterexample. Because yes, sometimes my dates do go well. I met a woman at a friend's party, and she had the best sense of humor. Apparently she thought I was cute, because she asked a mutual friend for my contact info. Our first date was great, because everything she did put me at ease. We listened to music in my car, we constantly made dirty jokes while at the zoo, we improvised when a museum we had wanted to visit was packed, and the whole experience made me feel good. You could say "hey dumbass, the difference is that she actually liked you." But it was more than that. I could be confident around her, because she made an effort to make me feel safe. We went out a few times after that, and no, a relationship didn't happen. But at least we had fun. At least I think about that experience with fondness rather than anxiety or sorrow.
I guess my point is, I need to stop seeing dating as a confidence game. Because it's not, at least for me. I need someone who makes me feel safe. And I have to wonder how many other dudes (or non cis-het women/non-binary folk) feel the same way, but either live in denial or have become accustomed to not being heard.

My now ex gf 16f who i will refer to as "A" broke up with me 16m (both 15 at the time) because she was going to kill her self.
When i first met her she was the average uk stoner having done a few class As in the past, only having one other relationship where she was abused mentally. she did not like talking abt it but i think i can infer the details. i had had 0 experience in relationships 0 experience with drugs/ alcohol, i was a complete newbie to everything. we were almost polar opposites to each other: she had dropped out of school and now goes to a special school for kids with behavioral issues. i was and still am high achieving whilst maintaining a good reputation with my peers, i think this is what made us so interested in each other to be honest.
She had opened up to me about her depression and her trust issues before going into our relationship. i would like to say we fell pretty hard for each other but im sure i fell hardest as im still in disbelieve she did this to me even two months later. when i was with her i was the happiest i had ever ever been. it was weird, i did not think just being with somebody else could make me this happy. we were both in love. during our relationship we only had 2 arguments with us both getting over them within in at least 12 hours, we had a pact where we wound not bring them up again this worked very well, this was her idea to which i mutually agreed.
one day out of the blue i woke up to a long paragraph from her, she said we should end it because she was not in the right space for a relationship at this time, this was a lye which i later found out. i did not read the whole thing i think i was too in shock to after the first two lines everything was a blur. the message did not seem remorseful it didn't seem sincere. i asked to meet later that day which i knew she could as she only went to school once every blue moon. we met up later that day after i had school, she said she was going somewhere. she couldn't tell me where, she couldn't tell me who she was going with, she couldn't tell me what she was going to do there. perhaps she was talking about the afterlife, im not sure. that was all she told me - that day.
i was livid, i could not believe she was going to do this to me. me and her bsf 15f were both in denial that she was actually going to do this as all three of us knew we made each other happy. i took her on the right path to improving as a person, she so said her self and her bsf. right there and then whilst both of us were in tears sitting on my bed i blocked her and her friends on all socials systematically followed by delating every photo i had of her, im still unsure that this was the right decision to make at the time but it was the only thing i could think of to do as a last attempt to make her turn around and say don't do this or something like that. i hoped wrong.
one of the last things i said to her was promise me your not going to kill your self, she nodded gently. we both left my house and walked to the station holding hands in silence. i think i was too starstruck to talk. we got to the station, she asked if i wanted to kiss, without saying anything we both leaned in. i said i love you as she walked off to board the train after not talking for a long, panful 45 mins, this was reciprocated by "i love you too". later that evening i went round my mates house got drunk and talked the whole thing over with him i had to get this off my chest (pun intended) right there and then. this was the end. so i thought...
we didn't talk for two weeks. all i could think about was her. she messaged me on my birthday to say "happy birthday elliot" i now hate her for this. why had she done this to me right now, why is she messaging me again. i had made it clear in the break up that we were not going to message each other again. i had blocked her on everything. but i had forgotten to blocker her number. i don't remember exactly what i said but i was desperate, something along the lines of "i could have fixed this im sorry". she said i couldn't have fixed this and that the entire thing was her fault.
we kept messaging for another week. this was hell for me, im still not sure why i hated this week so much. on the 6th day of messaging she confessed to me, i remember it word for word, "i don't plan on being alive for much longer after summer". i didn't react. i just continued the previous conversation im not sure why i did this either. this pissed her off i think. i dont remember much more of what was said but i remember simply saying your not going to do it. she said she was going to. the next day i told her she was week and selfish for doing this to me i told her she was, "taking the easy way out". i blocked her number this time. we haven't messaged since.
a week back i messaged the same bsf, as i mention earlier, happy birthday we have been talking since, mostly not about her just other things. on a completely different note i have a new girl, im going to call her E, who i am messaging she wants to meet after our gcses (the UKs SATs equivalent). shes high achieving, smart, funny, cute but a tad on the boring side, unlike A. i believe i have moved on from A.
however last night we talked about A. she said she believes that A is likely not to kill her self anymore, i was fuming to hear this. i want her to do it i wont lye. i said this to the bsf she said she understand how i feel. i told her to message A if she would ever think about getting back with me because admittedly i would get back with her. i have had nobody make me this happy before in my life, i want that feeling again. A said she would see whether she would reconsider in collage (all four of us are going to the same collage the bsf, A, E and me). collage is 3 months away.
also to add, i manipulated A a lot along with E who i am currently talking to. i know i have to stop this but i cant. its almost pleasurable, i get some kind of sick enjoyment out of doing it. i also believe i am a narcissist, so say my friends, my family, and the bsf.
this brings me to the current moment. im not sure why i am writing this tbh. please feel free to give me advice in the comments thank you very much for reading this wonderful people of reddit x

I’ve posted elsewhere also, I am desperate.
Im sorry for the long post and format, I’m on mobile and at my wits end.
I’m about to lose my mind, my partner, and everything we’ve built together. My son is 9. Since he was out of diapers we’ve had issues with his BMs. His bio dad tried to force potty training too early (we were already broken up at this point so I had no control over what went on in his house) and have suffered the ramifications ever since. Periods of purposeful constipation from very young age to now. He just doesn’t wipe properly. I’ve talked to him, I’ve talked to medical doctors, he is currently and has been in therapy. I’ve reached out to other parents, including my own, for advice. NOTHING is working. Dirty underwear, dirty toilet seats, dirty marks in the shower. Beyond the expenses of packs or underwear and Lysol wipes, toilet wipes, new shower luffas… I’m lost. My partner and I have been together for almost 4 years and the two get along generally speaking but he has a major issue with all of this and I don’t blame him. Doesn’t want LO to touch his stuff, doesn’t like sharing a bathroom, doesn’t even go near his bedroom “in case”.. he broke yesterday and told me he doesn’t want to leave me or lose me so the only solution he can think of is to get a nearby apartment so we can still see each other but doesn’t have to share a living space where he’s constantly anxious that feces are touching things he uses if things don’t change. I’ve already been dealing w this for 7 years and I don’t know how to fix it. I have no advice, there’s nothing medically wrong, he’s not autistic or on the spectrum accept for an ADHD diagnosis. I keep getting told “it’ll happen on its own.” Well I’m about to lose my house (my partner pays for our living costs) and the one person I’ve EVER been with that I see as a husband. He’s kind, generous, loyal, supportive, respectful.. you name it.. I felt like I found a diamond in the rough when we met and things have been so amazing… except this. I fully understand how gross it is when it’s not your child (even if it is, let’s be honest..) and I feel so helpless bc if I can’t get my 9yo to understand what he’s doing I’m going to lose EVERYTHING. My person… yes, my child, I love him unconditionally ofc but I found a partner in life that helps me thru all of my anxiety and issues and you can say what you want but adult support is so important. I did it alone before, I’m capable but it’s SOO not what I want… I guess I just need some advice. I don’t know how to make him realize how gross and unhygienic this is. Beyond my own problems, this will be a reason he gets bullied. Kids are going to start noticing the smell or if he goes to a friends house and leaves their bathroom a foul mess… he showers twice a day bc of this (I have to make him). I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get him to understand.. he acts sad/sorry but NOTHING changes…. Please tell me I’m not alone. Please tell me there is a solution… I can’t lose this relationship. I will end up in a ward.

Me (M20) and my girlfriend (F19) have been dating for a year and a half. We met when we were working together, started dating and she stayed round mine a lot because A) we were dating and B) I lived really close to our work, and she was staying with her grandma at the time who lived about 40 minutes away. So practically it made sense. This was also hot off the heels of covid, and we’d been cooped up for over a year. So there was definitely an aspect of wanting to begin a relationship rather than just dating. All this to say; we’re now living together.
We both left that job, her first to go on to something better, and myself shortly after as the hours were bonkers and I wasn’t seeing her as much. I didn’t work for about 6 months. My girlfriend worked at her place for about 3 months, and then left and hasn’t worked since.
I’ve been working at my current job for around 5 months now. My girlfriend is taking time off for personal reasons, but is semi looking to get back to work.
I’m an experienced chef, it was my first job (where we met) and I’ve been cooking my entire life. Take this into account when I state the chores:
Mine:
Working 8:30-5 Monday-Friday
Cooking ever evening (good meals, not microwaved pasta and frozen pizza, I’m talking curry from scratch, lasagna with homemade sauces, etc.)
Driving us everywhere (she doesn’t drive, I do)
Paying for almost everything (I’m getting paid, she’s not. It makes sense).
Hers:
Essentially everything else. Laundry, washing up, walking the dog, etc.
I can’t express enough that this isn’t a rant. I’m autistic and may not realise she’s silently suffering or something like that. In your experience with chores, does this distribution seem fair or could I be doing more to help out?
TLDR; I work, drive, cook and pay for most things. My girlfriend does basically every other chore. Is this a fair distribution?

I (16m) had to talk a friend out of a suicide attempt via medication last week which accidentally brought back feelings to do with my own brother's OD 2 years back. I don't know how to keep functioning generally and the feelings aren't making it any better. I can't support my friends right now which makes me useless even though they've been theough far worse shit than I have, same with my family members who are currently stuck in a war zone and I'm safe but just very weak. Exams are in less than 2 weeks but i can't work at all and am stressed out of my mind. My family has been acting fine lately which is making me feel like everything they've ever done in the past doesn't matter anymore and I should just be fine and it wasn't that bad anyway, why can't I function. I'm half planning on trying to find a way to off myself with some sort of drugs or something if I can find something that works well enough. I don't know what the fuck is happening but i can't cope at all and unsure how to survive theough this.

I've spent years building my collection of movies and TV shows. Almost all the content was riped from DVDs and BlyRay, and I've used a few different naming conventions and folder strategies over the years.
I want to re-organize everything and use a consistent naming convention (