Raads-r test

not the kind of butterflies in your stomach when you have romantic feelings for someone.
i'm not sure if i'm neurodivergent, my aunt (who i live with) suspects i've at least got adhd, my older brother got diagnosed with add when he was young, and my best friend with autism insisted i took the raads-r tests because we exhibit pretty similar behaviors, in which i got 191. but my whole life i've done this thing whenever i'm excited about something where my chest gets all fluttery and i literally have to move. i get all giggly and i squeal and i've put a name to it recently and they're my butterflies lol.
i used to do it a lot when i was younger but now i don't especially because i'm still in school and i've learned that people around me and the people i live with think it's weird. i just do it around my friends and on my own. i still get the feeling, it always feels like i have to laugh and i can't stop myself from moving at least a little.
so idk just wondering if anyone does the same, thanks!

Typing this without a planned outline, check out my tests
I have no clue how in depth or not in depth I’m gonna go yet. It’s 12:33 PM, we’ll see how long this takes.
Around thanksgiving, I met my little cousin who has autism. (I think he’s either 3 or 6, not really sure). Respectfully, he’s extremely annoying. He was fighting my aunts dog, and the dog was fighting back. The dog was really tiny though. I’m just gonna assume that all things considered he’s deeper into the spectrum than me (or however you would scientifically and conversationally classify that, forgive my ignorance). But finding out about his existence was the first sign that I could specifically have some like autistic genes somewhere or something. Obviously not closely connected, but I mean my Dad’s Sister’s son is bound to have some similarities to me right? And even prior to that, in 2019 I learned that mental health issues in general are very abundant in my Dad’s family. My uncle went missing one time and was having like a mental breakdown because he had a lot of debt or something. A few of my aunts have like horrible anxiety. I’m pretty sure my grandma there has anxiety also, she’s just old and old people don’t give a shit about anything so that probably was never looked into on her part.
I’ve thought I was autistic for a long time, but it was always just a random hunch (is that the right word???). Like a guesstimate based on absolutely zero facts. I took some tests a while back and they were saying like “borderline autism” but nothing solid. Granted, those were just randomly googled tests. (But I have a theory that my current tests are more alarming because I’m subconsciously making myself more autistic seeming so that I will pass the tests?) That was all until I met my cousin though. November 2022, now I know autism is in the gene pool. Now. May 20th, I find out my other aunt is on the spectrum. {For the record, my grandma had 10 kids: 2 uncles, 1 dad, the rest aunts} My aunt told me she didn’t handle that news very well. I wouldn’t have ever imagined SHE was on the spectrum though. Obviously you never really know what people are going through.
But now this means I have 2 relatives with specific autism related diagnoses. Which has of course influenced me to delve deeper into myself.
I haven’t been diagnosed with anything. I previously took Zoloft, Wellbutrin, and Hydroxozine simultaneously for like ADHD and Depression, but stopped being able to pay the $80/month for my Cerebral App subscription
First off here are my tests I guess
“AQ” (32) “RAADS-R” (160) “Aspie?” (158 / 200) “Non-Autistic?” (55 / 200)
So I’ve obviously just made an assumption that people here know what all these tests are, I’ve seen lots talk about them. But it’s from https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/
My mind is blank right now. I guess I’ll say I have a psychologist appointment on Tuesday. I’m not entirely sure what I should do or say there. I’ve had an online therapist before, (shoutout to Steve. I wish I could contact him again but I have no idea how I would even go about doing that without subscribing to Cerebral again), but I’ve never done it in person. Furthermore, though I have lots of mental things to talk about, I’ve been very intrigued by this autism thing. Autism. I show a lot of symptoms and took a lot of tests. There’s a bit of imposter syndrome at play because dumb free online tests couldn’t mean much probably without a real science person studying me or something. I’m pretty sure I read once that there’s like an autism brain scan or something. But I think it’s mostly like behavioral studying. Not sure.
I do wonder though, in my however short amount of time 1 session, I guess I should bring up my autism suspicions, but I doubt I’d be officially diagnosed then? Probably like some more costly tests or something? What’s your experience?
I’ve seen lots here say “I don’t need to be diagnosed, I know what I am” and though I sort of understand that, Nobody (parents, girlfriend, friends) would ever believe or accept the idea that I could be on the spectrum unless I had at least a professional opinion. And for certain people I’d need a specific diagnosis.
Let’s say though that I was diagnosed. How do I say “hey mom guess what I learned” I’m kinda scared that she would either - cry and feel like ‘how did I miss it’ - secretly have known my whole life - Not agree actual science (denial) - Treat me even more like a child than she already does
I’m not really sure how I would handle any of those things.
I’m not even sure I’m autistic lol. Imagine I did all this research and typed this long ass post just to find out like I need to sleep more or something dumb like that. I figured the people here would be the only people who’d have similar confusions and thoughts though.
I’m sorry about how rambly this is
I didn’t type any of this in order.
I kept going up lines and down paragraphs and back to the beginning I’m very unorganized. But also I thrive in organized chaos.
I also like to hide in closets and under blankets. That’s not relevant but I think it could be.
I don’t love reading but I love writing so I’m sorry if this is too long lol
If you have any thoughts or advice, let me know
It is now 1:13. This took more time than I thought it would.

I have no clue how in depth or not in depth I’m gonna go yet. It’s 12:33 PM, we’ll see how long this takes.
Around thanksgiving, I met my little cousin who has autism. (I think he’s either 3 or 6, not really sure). Respectfully, he’s extremely annoying. He was fighting my aunts dog, and the dog was fighting back. The dog was really tiny though. I’m just gonna assume that all things considered he’s deeper into the spectrum than me (or however you would scientifically and conversationally classify that, forgive my ignorance). But finding out about his existence was the first sign that I could specifically have some like autistic genes somewhere or something. Obviously not closely connected, but I mean my Dad’s Sister’s son is bound to have some similarities to me right? And even prior to that, in 2019 I learned that mental health issues in general are very abundant in my Dad’s family. My uncle went missing one time and was having like a mental breakdown because he had a lot of debt or something. A few of my aunts have like horrible anxiety. I’m pretty sure my grandma there has anxiety also, she’s just old and old people don’t give a shit about anything so that probably was never looked into on her part.
I’ve thought I was autistic for a long time, but it was always just a random hunch (is that the right word???). Like a guesstimate based on absolutely zero facts. I took some tests a while back and they were saying like “borderline autism” but nothing solid. Granted, those were just randomly googled tests. (But I have a theory that my current tests are more alarming because I’m subconsciously making myself more autistic seeming so that I will pass the tests?) That was all until I met my cousin though. November 2022, now I know autism is in the gene pool. Now. May 20th, I find out my other aunt is on the spectrum. {For the record, my grandma had 10 kids: 2 uncles, 1 dad, the rest aunts} My aunt told me she didn’t handle that news very well. I wouldn’t have ever imagined SHE was on the spectrum though. Obviously you never really know what people are going through.
But now this means I have 2 relatives with specific autism related diagnoses. Which has of course influenced me to delve deeper into myself.
I haven’t been diagnosed with anything. I previously took Zoloft, Wellbutrin, and Hydroxozine simultaneously for like ADHD and Depression, but stopped being able to pay the $80/month for my Cerebral App subscription
First off here are my tests I guess
“AQ” (32) “RAADS-R” (160) “Aspie?” (158 / 200) “Non-Autistic?” (55 / 200)
So I’ve obviously just made an assumption that people here know what all these tests are, I’ve seen lots talk about them. But it’s from https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/
My mind is blank right now. I guess I’ll say I have a psychologist appointment on Tuesday. I’m not entirely sure what I should do or say there. I’ve had an online therapist before, (shoutout to Steve. I wish I could contact him again but I have no idea how I would even go about doing that without subscribing to Cerebral again), but I’ve never done it in person. Furthermore, though I have lots of mental things to talk about, I’ve been very intrigued by this autism thing. Autism. I show a lot of symptoms and took a lot of tests. There’s a bit of imposter syndrome at play because dumb free online tests couldn’t mean much probably without a real science person studying me or something. I’m pretty sure I read once that there’s like an autism brain scan or something. But I think it’s mostly like behavioral studying. Not sure.
I do wonder though, in my however short amount of time 1 session, I guess I should bring up my autism suspicions, but I doubt I’d be officially diagnosed then? Probably like some more costly tests or something? What’s your experience?
I’ve seen lots here say “I don’t need to be diagnosed, I know what I am” and though I sort of understand that, Nobody (parents, girlfriend, friends) would ever believe or accept the idea that I could be on the spectrum unless I had at least a professional opinion. And for certain people I’d need a specific diagnosis.
Let’s say though that I was diagnosed. How do I say “hey mom guess what I learned” I’m kinda scared that she would either - cry and feel like ‘how did I miss it’ - secretly have known my whole life - Not agree actual science (denial) - Treat me even more like a child than she already does
I’m not really sure how I would handle any of those things.
I’m not even sure I’m autistic lol. Imagine I did all this research and typed this long ass post just to find out like I need to sleep more or something dumb like that. I figured the people here would be the only people who’d have similar confusions and thoughts though.
I’m sorry about how rambly this is
I didn’t type any of this in order.
I kept going up lines and down paragraphs and back to the beginning I’m very unorganized. But also I thrive in organized chaos.
I also like to hide in closets and under blankets. That’s not relevant but I think it could be.
I don’t love reading but I love writing so I’m sorry if this is too long lol
If you have any thoughts or advice, let me know
It is now 1:13. This took more time than I thought it would.

I just wanted to say hello and I’m really happy I found this place! I (22 AFAB, GF) was diagnosed with adhd at age 6 and have recently discovered I probably have autism as well. I tick off all the boxes when it comes to AuDHD experiences. I also scored a 124 on the raads-r test. I’m probably never going to get officially diagnosed because of the point in my life I’m at. I’m just finding an immense amount of solace that there’s a reason for the way I am and I’m not crazy 😌

I (26 F) am on my diagnosis journey. I have an appt at the end of the month for an autism interview/diagnosis appt. I’m fairly certain I’ll get diagnosed. I took the online RAADS-R test and got 117. My partner (28 M) has diagnosed ADHD and is on medication. He has bouts where he gets really irritated but we both think it’s his coming down from his Adderall. We thought he would autism too but didn’t really qualify with his traits. My traits and “isms” have become more prominent in the past 6-8 months. I become more nonverbal, completely mishear or just don’t hear when he talks to me, and I have a hard time interpreting simple requests/simple directions like recipes. He’s gotten more and more frustrated as the months have gone on. He’ll ask me “how” or “why” I thought a certain way that led to my misunderstanding but I don’t know how to explain that I just function differently. I’m feeling alone in my relationship and we’ve been together almost 7 years. It feels like even though I’m right on the edge of being diagnosed, he won’t take it seriously until I have it on paper. And I’ll admit, I’ll feel better when I have it on paper because I function better with distinct/clear labels. I feel like I’m in a limbo of not being able to call myself autistic because it’s not diagnosed but not feeling like I belong anywhere. Any advice on how to handle this waiting period and the frustration I have with my partner?

Hi everyone, I don't really know how to start this... I'm not good at expressing myself when I'm overwhelmed but I'm going to try to make as much sense as possible.
Yesterday I got my official first appointment date (june 16th) to start my autism assessment. The first appointment is about my childhood (4-6 y/o) which means I have to be accompanied by my Dad and I have to say I'm scared that my childhood didn't show enough signs to get called for the second assessment part. I'm 24, high masking and I don't even know how I can be assessed when I'm uncomfortable unmasking around anyone really. I just have this wall between me and others to hopefully fit in and I'm used to it, I don't know how to put that wall down.
But also, I'm really overwhelmed by this, I was excited to receive the appointment date yesterday but now it's the opposite. I have questions in my head such as "Am I faking it?" "Imagine I'm doing this for nothing" "I may be laughed at and invalidated" "They may misdiagnose me" and I'm already emotional 2 weeks before the start of the assessment. I'm printing all the online tests I did (Raads-R, AQ etc...) and I'm planning on having a list of my experience in life so far in relation to autism. I'm so overwhelmed I have to stop myself from crying and I've never thought that's how I'd be feeling. I've been wanting this for so long and now that the answer is close, I feel like an impostor.
I need advice on how to prepare for this, and how to feel better, and I can't think of a better place than this subreddit to ask for support.
Thank you

I'm concerned I might have ASD
I am concerned I might have autism.
context: I am a highschool student at a quite competitive school and am regarded by some as 'gifted'. Someone asked me last year if I were autistic. It kept bothering me and eventually I told a friend [f] (with an autistic family member) I'd been asked if I were autistic, she said I definitely had some charisteristics. A few weeks ago another friend [m] (autistic) also inquired me if I were autistic. When I said I were not, he asked me to do the Raads-R self-test. I did a few times making sure I did not over-report and got a score of 120-145. placing me in the typical range for autistic individuals. (I do know self-diagnosis is not reliable, am of course not self-diagnosing)
I also relate a lot with what I sometimes hear about the symptoms from autistic people themselves... (ie. social anxiety, not being able to properly express (emotion/empathy), keeping lists of things...)
The thing is that I do not want or seek a diagnosis. I once already have been to a psychiatrist for anxiety and not being able to properly express my emotions and my family was not pleased. Even if I were to want a diagnosis I would not be able. (hinder to academics and family relations)
I'd like to know how to mask these apperant characteristics and deal with it...
note: this is a throwaway account this is not a post to diagnose

I recently did the autism quotient test
I got 24
So I did the RAADS-R test
I got 102
So I did the CAT-Q test
I got 137
So my questions are;
what do I do with this information? How reliable are these tests? What are other life circumstances or conditions that may account for these results? Is this all in my head?
I dont feel like I have any sensory issues, but I do very social anxiety Thanks in advance 🙂

I am concerned I might have autism.
context: I am a highschool student at a quite competitive school and am regarded as 'gifted'. Someone asked me last year if I were autistic. It kept bothering me and eventually I told a friend [f] (with an autistic family member) I'd been asked if I were autistic, she said I definitely had some charisteristics. A few weeks ago another friend [m] (autistic) also inquired me if I were autistic. When I said I were not, he asked me to do the Raads-R self-test. I did a few times making sure I did not over-report and got a score of 120-145. placing me in the typical range for autistic individuals.
I also relate a lot with what I sometimes hear about the symptoms from autistic people themselves... (ie. social anxiety, not being able to properly express (emotion/empathy), keeping lists of things...)
The thing is that I do not want or seek a diagnosis. I once already have been to a psychiatrist for anxiety and not being able to properly express my emotions and my family was not pleased. Even if I were to want a diagnosis I would not be able.
I'd like to know how to mask these apperant characteristics and deal with it...
note: this is a throwaway account this is not a post to diagnose

So I (35F) had a conversation with my cousins that started with me saying my son (4) is probably ADHD and one said she related to some stuff she'd seen online and I (jokingly testing the waters) said "haha right? Have you all taken the online raad-r test?" (No all around) "well you should all take it and then at 4th of July we'll compare notes haha" and then explained it was the very basic autism assessment people can do online because of course they asked what that was.
So that led to one cousin talking about her nephew (13) who is diagnosed ADHD. She mentioned her mom who is raising the nephew thought he might, could possibly, maybe, be autistic. Like definitely just sort of floating an idea. And I was like (too excited because I've thought this for a while but didn't know how to bring it up) "yes! I could totally see that for him. I think that could fit him."
Now mind you I've never talked to my family about autism or that I have spent years now researching and reading and learning and ultimately self diagnosing my own autism. (If you're thinking about saying anything negative about self diagnoses: Medical diagnosis is financially unattainable for me at this time and also would have no benefit further than to just validate my own findings after paying thousands of dollars and could actually potentially put me in danger of losing my child in a custody battle or losing my right to vote or stop me from being able to move to a different country or worse)
Anyway the conversation moved on and I got home and worried that I shouldn't have said that. So I go to type out a text explaining to this cousin what my intentions were and why I didn't mean any harm. And while I'm doing that I'm thinking and recognizing "what a neuro divergent thing to do" and I end up with an almost 1000 word text explaining myself to her. I re-read it for the umpteenth time to check for clarity and I think for the umpteenth time about exactly how the conversation went, what I'd said, what she'd said, and I decided she didn't take anything the wrong way.
And I deleted the entire thing.
And I'll probably torture myself with this shit for at least another couple of weeks.
Anyone else relate?

I wanted to do the RAADS-R test since I suspect I may have autism, but the answers and questions suck.
The answers are:
True now and when I was young. True only now. True only when I was younger than 16. Never true.
So if I agree with something that would mean it is "True now and when I was young", but how does that effect the end results? There has to be a reason for these answers, right? Should I just say "True now and when I was young" or "True only now"? This is so confusing help.
Also these questions like cmon, first question: "I am a sympathic person". Like idfk, maybe, maybe not.
Are there any other tests I could take?

I just went for an assessment recently and wanted to share my thoughts.
In the past, I have been struggling all along with life, was diagnosed with PTSD 5 years ago, and have made little progress in therapy. Recently in the past 2 months, a psychiatrist and a psychologist have screened me and suggested that my difficulties with work/social situations/executive dysfunction/sensory overwhelm seem to lean more towards ASD than ADHD. While they were able to do the full ADHD assessment, they were unable to do the ASD assessment, so I had to look elsewhere.
So yesterday I finally managed to go for an autism assessment with a neuropsychologist, after spending months viewing other people's posts, reading articles, watching videos on the topic of autism. It consisted of an intake session about my life history, an IQ test, the ADOS test. The process was about 4 and a half hours long. It was much more exhausting than I expected, and I barely had any remaining energy to shower and eat. Afterwards, I was emailed some online questionnaires (AQ, RAADS-R, CAT-Q) to complete at home. Currently, the unfinished part of the assessment is getting an informant to provide additional information - which I choose to list my mum and a trusted friend.
Initially, I was quite excited to attend the assessment, but I am starting to feel the uncertainty and self-doubt set in. :/ I'm thinking about whether I performed too "well / normal" or not, especially for the ADOS part. I'm so used to masking and overcompensating, I'm not sure whether any notable traits were visible enough or not.
I guess my biggest fear is that I might fail to get the diagnosis because my problems are not severe enough, not reaching the score threshold etc. I also guess I would feel like a really bad imposter for hanging out on online autistic spaces for the past half a year.

This will be a long read but i hope i don't bore anyone with my ramblings and vents.
I (M, 20) hate everything about myself at this point, i was never the 'cool kid/guy' academically or otherwise, never was good in school and am even worse at college (failed one of my papers, cleared it in the make-up exams, but scored spectacularly low in my next exams [B, C, and D's], didn't fail any though), my older sibling is an achiever (think [possibly] best college in the country, decent degree, top-of-the-line GPA [here it's calculated out of 10, so think somewhere above 9] and many internships) and naturally I'm expected of the same, but i just can't.
Skimming over the fact that i was beaten by my parents as a child when i didn't score well (though that stopped when i got older). I've never been in a relationship, i have average/below average grades in most of my subjects [average college, one of the best degrees but with current GPA being 7, barely an internship, i do have 2-3 certificates though], I'm fat as well, 0 social life, and as soon as I try to make one thing right everything else nearly comes crashing apart and then to prevent it I go back to the deadlock, this chain has been carried on for 5 years ever since i entered high school and I've very rarely truly enjoyed being myself. Sometimes I wonder where it went downhill and i can't tell, i was diligent enough in the past then it just fell apart and my past probably won't recognize my present.
I don't care if i don't get a degree with a great GPA, i love to tinker with PC hardware and draw (it's about the only thing I'm proud of, except being a teetotaller and not smoking), and i want to get into the animation industry [the one that animates japanese anime], but here I am stuck in with a degree of computer science underway, why? Because it's prestigious and respectable. And i do have the option to do a distance learning degree of arts alongside from another college but there are two reasons why I'm second guessing it:-

1. I have trouble maintaining one degree, another might push me over the edge of madness
   
2. Even if my parents say i have that option, i suspect it'll be a huge financial struggle, and i don't want to burden them further since they're not exactly young.
   

And this being Asia, I can't just go out and "get a part time job" or stuff so this might seem weird to other people here on reddit.
Another thing i worry about, is my mental stability, just out of curiosity i took a test for autistics (RAADS R) and one for aspergers (ASQ), and scored beyond what's considered the normal (for non autistics, RAADS R usually scores you below 65, i went somewhere between 95-100, and ASQ gives just about the same result (though i don't remember my exact score, it was definitely above the normal threshold), my sibling informed my parents about it and instead of medical help i was given another earful and several unhappy flashbacks how i was never good at studies and how i won't be able to get a job if this keeps going and that if i had time to give a quiz like this i definitely have time to study more (during the holidays that takes place between two semesters?)
I can't resent my parents for it either, they had very harsh upbringings and how they deal with me isn't only their fault, they just see this career path as the 'norm' and that it's the only way to be successful.
At this point i just wished no one expected anything of me and just let me do what i actually want to achieve (i have absolutely 0 pull towards studying but i would LOVE to push my drawing skills to the limit), but i guess I'm stuck here until this degree ends but that's just another bleak lightbulb in the middle of a pitch black tunnel, i just wish someone would just be proud of me for just ONCE in my life.

I'm a 33 year old woman. I always knew I was different. I've found it very difficult to maintain ANY friendships throughout my life. I'm friendly with the people I work with or see on a regular basis, but don't reach out to people at all and don't maintain any contact after they're out of my immediate social landscape. The only person I feel any need to interact with is my partner. But I never really thought I was autistic. I grew up on a farm, I changed schools three times during primary and three times during secondary school and used that as the reason that I haven't kept any close friends from childhood. I was bullied for being poor and different. My mother and her partner were abusive, my father rather absent. All of these were the reasons I told myself I'm not great at maintaining any kind of social life or keeping in touch with family.
​
Now, based on these results, it seems that there's a very high chance I'm on the autism spectrum but I'm not sure if I want to pursue any kind of formal diagnosis. I'm not sure what I would get out of having one other than not spending the rest of my life questioning if I am autistic or not. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, I guess I want someone to talk to about it that isn't part of my life and going to tell me one way or another that they suspected it all along or that I'm making it all up. I just don't know what to do now.

I thought it was okay, but I sent it to a friend of mine and she got 25. With such a huge difference, should I be worried? Before anyone tells me to ask a professional, I can't afford to go to a psychiatrist unless there's a good chance I have a real problem.

I'm talking about the one that uses the "okay,rl Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?" Audio from SpongeBob. Like I score in the '90s to low 100s, but when I was evaluated, I was tested with the ADOS. I'm not saying the RAADS-R test is bad, and I find self-diagnosis to be valid (that's The space I was in for a really long time before I got a diagnosis). But does anyone else feel like this TikTok trend adds to the stigma of autism being "trendy" or "quirky" and invalidates real autism?

Hello guys,
so I always felt a little bit different and I'm not sure how to interpret this. I scored 116 on RAADS-R test online. The thing is, my father is autistic and this might have affected my score a bit (some psychologists said I took over some of his traits). And the other thing is, when I thought about me being neurodiverse, I thought I would have ADHD rather than autism. Could somebody give me advice what to do next?
Edit: I just took another RAADS-R test online and the score was 116 again

I am not the Original Poster. That is u/SilverDeath0. He posted in AmItheAsshole
Mood Spoiler: The whole thing is bizarre and sad
Original Post: May 1, 2023
So I’m 21M and I’ve been kicked from my friend group. To give some context, I’ve been in this friend group since high school around 2018-2019 and have been friends with two of them since freshman year. Throughout the years I’ve been with them, they’ve noticed a lot of little toxic traits I’ve had, and didn’t really tell me a lot of them.
So around the end of March, beginning of April they started avoiding me and just telling me that they’re too busy to hang out. For two weeks things was dead silent with me and them. I actually thought they were just to busy to hang out, but they were actually planning to talk to me about my problems with an intervention.
After the two weeks, they shoot me a text saying to meet at this Starbucks with the specific address of it and at 4. So I asked if we weren’t friends, cause they were avoiding me and they only replied with, “we need to talk.” So I did, and all of them were sitting at a table in the middle of the Starbucks waiting for me. Once I sat down they started to list out the problems they’ve had with me, like not being open enough with my feelings, having double standards with touching things, or zoning out when I’m not in the conversations and not to join them. I’m not going to lie, I did feel uncomfortable talking about issues about me in public. I didn’t realize these problems but after them saying it, I really feel like a jerk once seeing it.
Now here’s where I feel like I would be the asshole in the situation and further. Midway through them talking, I just straight up left because I felt hurt and didn’t want to continue that conversation.
Right now I’m slowly trying to fix the issue one at a time so new people I meet won’t deal with it. Another two weeks go by, and I felt terrible about how I was to them in general. One friend that knew the group and my situation, that friend told me that the friend group is still willing to be friends. After feeling bad about myself, I tried to text one of the friends to setup a talk. I asked if it was fine to meet up and talk at his or my place. He replied by saying he would rather talk at Starbucks or coffee place, and I tried to compromise with a park not to far from our places. He didn’t like the compromise, saying that he didn’t feel safe or comfortable to talk to me unless it’s somewhere he like and that wasn’t for negotiation.
For me I told him I didn’t feel comfortable to talk in a public space like a coffee shop, and I wouldn’t like to be in the same situation as before. Then it got a little emotional for me that I won’t go into or repeat.I did still wanted to be friends with one other person in the group. So I tried to message them and he responded with basically saying that, “If you want to apologize, you have to say sorry to everyone in the group. You ended our friendship the moment you left the Starbucks.” So far that’s where my story with my ex-friends is at.Am I the asshole for being the start and end of my situation?
Edit 1: When I said touching stuff, meant in more of grabbing a book off the shelf, borrowing a hammer, and etc without permission.
Edit 2: One of the bigger reasons why I posted here was because I don’t understand why I’m “unsafe” to them. I’ve never physically harmed them, yelled at them angrily, nor attack them with personal insults.
Relevant Comments:
People try to figure out why they would do this, and ask OOP if he did something serious:
"Honestly, Idk if it was something so serious that they would feel that way. They never really said anything I did super serious that can harm them physically or mentally. They really just listed off several things that I need to be better at and try fix them. "
"There's many things said and I did leave halfway so I don't know all of them.

1. I did record a reaction of giving a Christmas present to one of the friends, to the person I commissioned to make a the present because she was a close friend and want see the reaction.
2. I've asked to do hang outs one on one many times that it would be an annoyance without realizing it
3. I've said personal dislikes and likes into the friend group and didn't realize it was a secret until after saying it.

There's a lot of things that I really can't remember off the top of my head, and I might just be an ass for it."
Are you aggressive?
"To be honest, I don’t think I’m an aggressive person. I can be passive aggressive when I’m not in the mood, but I’ve never raised my voice in anger when we’re hanging out irl."
"I’m sorry that I don’t have all the info, but from what I realized about myself is that whenever I’m in a sour mood or have a problem, I just rant about it or do a silent treatment. If I am aggressive about things without realizing it, I just wonder why they didn’t bring it up as the first topic of the intervention?"
Are you neurodivergent?
"Idk if I'm ADHD/autistic/neurodivergent."
OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: May 12, 2023 (11 days later)
So it's been about a week or so now since my post, and wanted to give some updates and good news.
Before that, I wanted to say thanks to all the comments from before. I’ve felt like shit for the whole month of April and it helped that there were people telling me I’m not shit. I’ve listened to a lot of the comments, and most of them just say cut them off and move on, so I am.
First thing is that, I've sent a link of my post to the "friend group," to give them my perspective of things. I've understood that I've unintentionally made them feel uncomfortable during times. I don't know if I understand their whole perspective but thanks to that I know myself a bit more in social situations. They’ve probably moved on from me but I just wanted to say some sort of goodbye. Now I've blocked them so I can move on and find others that will like me for me. Along with that, I know that I’m gonna have some trust issues and overthinking things in the long run.
Secondly, I've taken some tests, like the RAADS test and scored a 149 so I probably have some neurodiversity. I've went ahead and scheduled a ADHD assessment and will be taking it in the next coming week.
With this comes the good news for me, I've been hanging out with an online friend who I've known for a long while and actually lives like 15 mins away from me. (Lets call him Bob and if ur reading this, thanks man) I told Bob my situation with the friend group and he has helped me emotionally with it without me feel shit about the situation. During this time, I've made him uncomfortable once by accident with me blurting my mouth. He did let me know how he felt so I apologized, told him it won't happen again, and I'm working on these things. I also got him some Anime Expo badge and a concert ticket to join me. The AX badge and concert ticket was originally gonna be for the "friend," who said that he was unsafe with me. I was gonna surprise him with it as an early birthday present before what went down. I know it's a bit soon to give away the stuff but idk if I can find anyone soon.
Anyways, I'm grateful for the advice you all gave to me. I do understand that there are some things that need to be fixed, some of the things said during the "intervention," just need to be ignored, and somethings that I need to move on from. I'm mainly thankful that you guys help me understand myself a little more like my neurodiversity. Also sorry that this is a long post, I do just like to talk a lot. But yeah, if anyone has extra questions, I’ll try to answer them as best as I can. I hope everyone have a great day and good friendships to never end.
Relevant Comments:
Can you elaborate on what you did to make people uncomfortable? Was it sexual?
"It’s not in any sexual way, it’s more of accidentally saying something that was in one’s past I didn’t know that they wanted it not to be brought up in public."
What did you blurt out to make your new friend uncomfortable?
"I don’t want to say it cause I do want to keep his wishes on it private. Just let you know, it wasn’t any kind of insult or any weird story about him. It was just something in his past he doesn’t bring up often."
Mini Update: May 15, 2023 (3 days from update)
Little Extra Update: After seeing my post, two of the friends messaged me where I forgot to block. The first one, we talked about how we felt about the situation, decided just to move on peacefully and maybe see each other down the line. I really appreciate that we could come to somewhat of an understanding. The second guy called me a coward for posting about my situation, said that all he wanted was an apology but I couldn't do that, and said to "square up" next time I have a problem. And they say I'm the unsafe one, but either way he was obviously blocked. Thanks for reading!
Editor's note- for some reason reddit keeps eliminating all paragraph spaces when I post. I've tried several different things with no luck. Should be fixed now.

My brother (33) and I (25 FTM) have always had a hard relationship. I was adopted, am biracial and nerospicy so I never really fit in with the blonde haired blue-eyed rest of my family who are as white as saltines. I've been in therapy since I was 12 and was told constantly as a child that I didn't know how to interact with people and that my ways of discussing conflict were wrong. So obviously I learned how to talk about conflict in a way that was healthy and productive to conversations. My brother never did and has one of those know-it-all personalities where his opinion is always the correct one.
Anyway yesterday things popped off when I asked my brother if he had taken the RAADS R test (the autism test) and I got the response "Hey no I haven't. Your response to it upset me and I had to disengage." When I told my family that on the test that I took I got a 207 out of 240, they said that I should tell my doctor so that I could get "treatment". I explained that I definitely don't want to tell my doctor because I won't be able to foster kids (my dream), and because Republicans have been signing bills that say that if you're autistic you can't get gender affirming care. None of our conversation led me to think that there was a problem so I was surprised to get that message from him.
Me:"Wait I'm confused what do you mean? I guess I mean what part of my response upset you. Also I understand having to disengage to calm down but then you could have brought it up later so we could talk about it since this is definitely something that's going to come up again."
B:"You don't get to tell me how I have to respond to you. I still find it upsetting and sometimes things you in particular do and say can be very triggering for me. I am choosing to disengage on this because I don't want to get into a fight and I don't think I am able to express myself in a way that is constructive for both of us at this time."
"Disengaging is a perfectly valid coping mechanism as long as it's followed up with conversation later so that there isn't more conflict. I haven't spoken to you about stuff that's Jewish related because I know that that topic can be triggering for you. But me being autistic is something I'm going to talk about a lot and have been talking about a lot because it affects my everyday life. I guess I'm just not understanding how I'm supposed to know when it's an okay time to talk about different things. I don't understand what you mean by some things that I say or do can be very triggering for you. Can you give me examples so that I don't do them again? I'm really lost and I have no idea how I'm supposed to function around you."
"I don't feel you are taking any of this seriously. You are treating the results of this test with all the seriousness of a buzzfeed quiz. Choosing not to get a diagnosis and related treatments and supports is irresponsible, inconsiderate, and unethical when you really struggle with a lot of the things needed to live an independent life and you are currently heavily relying on others. The government is not going to just give you a foster child if you apply for one. You have to prove that you can handle the responsibility and are financially independent. Many of the barriers you have to living more independently could very well be a result of autism. What makes you think you are responsible and capable enough to raise a child, especially one who has likely experienced significant trauma? What makes you think you can deal with that while also not truly dealing with autism? If you want me to be more attentive to this test and your struggles with autism, I suggest you be more attentive to both and take some more responsibility for yourself."
I forgave him after he told me that my arms looked like the backs of manatees when I was 14 from cutting, I forgave him when he called me a hypochondriac despite the fact that I have physical disabilities, I forgave him for telling me that I'm not educated enough even though he knows that I've tried to go to college several times now, I forgave him for the time he invalidated my trans experience because he was really drunk at a Christmas party. I can't forgive him for being this mean when I genuinely didn't understand what was happening. So am I the asshole for just texting "Slay." As a response before blocking him?

edit: added one of the things I had to do for testing at the bottom
edit #2: this lady also told me it is likely I have Asperger’s but they don’t test for that anymore and I’m just confused because I thought Asperger’s was integrated into the autism spectrum? Not just done away with
Little backstory: I dated a girl who was officially diagnosed, I’d never really questioned it for myself before but some things didn’t feel right. I took the RAADS-R fun funsies and scored very high, talked to her about it and she tells me “yeah.. you say/talk about a lot of things that are very similar to my experience but I didn’t know how to tell you” that’s cool she recommends taking the aspie quiz. I score very high. I find the autism quotient, take that, score very high. That’s 3
Well. I went and got tested. Two half days of psychological testing, and IQ test, and another weird test. I get my results back, and she tells me I’m not autistic but I have an extremely high IQ and severe social anxiety. The high IQ is apparently causing the neurodivergency ?? Because I “view and understand the world differently then other people”. And for the social anxiety “my social skills are there, I just don’t know how to execute them bc I feel like an outsider”. OKAY. BUT. I don’t think that’s the case. I’ve always struggled socially, and my anxiety isn’t what came first. Struggling in social situations CAUSED my social anxiety.
Idk it still sounds pretty autistic to me personally. She didnt even ask me about stimming/sensory issues, or my meltdowns, or anything else that I would’ve found relevant. And I feel at a loss because I’m struggling in life and I feel like I still don’t really have answers. Not to mention, I relate to my peers who are on the spectrum a lot and I feel like I’ve lost my sense of community with those friends now
Added: so on the day she was supposed to be doing the actual autism testing she had me look at this book that had no words just pictures and I had to “tell the story” which was weird. Then she gave me a bunch of objects, told me to pic 3 and tell her a short story with them (these objects were like paper clip, feather, string, etc.) and I have absolutely no sense of imagination so I stared at it for what felt like forever and then was like “I can’t. I can’t do it. I don’t see anything besides a paper clip. I can’t pretend it’s a person, bc it’s a paper clip” and then after it was over I sat in my car and cried for 30 minutes because I felt stupid. But this has been a thing my whole life. I don’t have an imagination. At all. I can recall images of things I’ve seen before exactly as they were but I cannot imagine new things/scenarios.