Hello lovely readers,
Welcome to the second and final discussion of Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton. This autobiographical comic was Canada Reads (an annual "battle of the books") winner for 2023. You can read the first discussion here.
Summary
The story picks up one month after that horrible party. Kate sleeps with Mike. She continues to get weird sexual comments from the men she works with, but she has started to laugh the comments off. Many of the men seem to have problems with her giving them orders, and her superiors get pissy with her for minor things or for wanting ‘special treatment’. Joe, a fellow Nova Scotian, overhears her swearing in frustration and tells her that everyone at the mine is just yelling at the guy next to them for work they’re not doing themselves, but that people tend to be friendlier to people from their own region of Canada. Kate wonders aloud to Doug whether the oil sands make people better or worse.
The men at the mine have heard that Kate’s ‘little friends’ (her sister Becky and friend Lindsay) are going to be joining them, and she warns them to leave them alone. When Becky and Lindsay arrive, they are wearing skirts and they quickly notice the staring and weird behaviour from the men on site. Kate apologises for it, and they wonder why she is saying sorry.
Kate tells Becky and Lindsay that the other men have been leaving her alone since most people know about her and Mike, and they tell her it’s because in their eyes she’s ‘claimed’.
They take a trip to Gregoire Beach, but Kate doesn’t wear a swimsuit or go swimming. Becky asks her what’s up with her, as she’s noticed something is wrong. Kate talks about how everything at the beach seems so normal, but that she isn’t. However, she doesn’t explain further.
Kate looks for other jobs online, and sees a post for a job at the Maritime Museum of British Columbia in Victoria, the capital of British Columbia.
Not long afterwards, she sees the man who forced himself on her at that party. He and the group of men he’s with see her and they start laughing.
Kate hears a man playing Peter’s Dream on his guitar, and joins in singing the song.
She goes to Becky’s room and tells her that she needs to leave the oil sands for a while, even though she and Lindsay have just arrived. She asks her to promise that she and Lindsay will look out for each other, and finally tells her about the assaults. Becky tells her that it wasn’t her fault, and wishes she had been there sooner to protect her as that’s her job as the big sister. She tells Kate that it happened to her too, at her university dorm. She tells Kate she should go.
We leave the oil sands, for a year in Victoria. Kate gets the museum job but it’s no more than 21 hours per week, so she gets a second job. In a coffee shop, she hears the song An Innis Aigh playing, and tells a woman who was wondering aloud about the language that it’s Gaelic.
Victoria seems like a nicer place than the oil sands, but it isn’t perfect – the city big problems with homelessness and mental health, but none of the old, rich people living there care [read runner note – according to Victoria’s Wikipedia page, the city is known for its disproportionately large retiree population. Some 23.4% of the population of Victoria and its surrounding area are over 65 years of age, which is higher than the overall Canadian distribution of over 65 year-olds in the population (19%). A historically popular cliché refers to Victoria as the home of "the newly wed and nearly dead"]. Kate is fired from her job for not taking American money and not wanting to sell the merchandise badly enough. One of her colleagues (I think?) sees her drawing a comic, and suggests that she should make a website.
Kate tells her parents that on her days off she works at a grocery store, and her father wonders what her degree was for. Shortly afterwards, she is fired from the grocery store for yawning and ‘being surly’. She goes on a date, but panics when the guy tries to kiss her at the end.
Kate can’t get a reprieve from her student loan payments, even though she paid half of it off the previous year with her oil sands earnings. She decides to go back to the oil sands to pay the rest off, and says goodbye to the museum.
After that brief reprieve, we’re back in the oil sands, this time at Shell Albian Sands. Kate has taken a job in the warehouse office, and her living quarters are a bit fancier than at the previous sites. The site also has a Tim Hortons, Wi-Fi and a gym, even yoga classes. Lindsay tells her that a lot of the warehouse crew from Long Lake have moved up there too. One of her new colleagues is Hatim, who is creepy in a new way, plaguing her with messages despite having a wife and children.
The team get a congratulations message with a gif for achieving three million man hours without a lost time incident (LTI). Kate’s boss, Ryan, tells her that they don’t have LTIs at the site because they look bad for the company, I guess implying that they cover them up.
She sees Doug again, who seems to feel that she’s all high and mighty now with her office job, and struggles with her ‘bossing him’ since she’s younger than him (and presumably because she’s female). When she has to cover a warehouse shift, Doug laughs about how she’s down from on high and has gone soft. He tells her that he sang with The Men of the Deeps and even sang for the queen, which she doubts because he has a terrible voice. She sings a bit of Coal Town Road (which I’m kind of disappointed doesn’t sound like Old Town Road) and asks if she could be in the choir too, but he seems annoyed about her singing a mining song when she’s not a miner.
Kate’s sister Becky is still working at Long Lake, but lives in Fort McMurray, and Kate goes to meet her there; she says it’s much better than living in the camp. She tells Kate, that one time a guy jumped out of the closet in her room, but she was able to kick him out. She always locked her door, but often heard the handle jiggling at night. She even had a stalker, who managed to get into her room with a bottle of alcohol and suggested doing body shots – she didn’t report it, but when he got fired everyone thought she had.
Kate struggles to read some of the order sheets because many of the workers are bad spellers or have unclear handwriting; many of the older men at the mine left school in grade six. Lindsay tells her about one of the lead hands from Newfoundland, who can’t read, and was humiliated by the other workers when they tried to make him read the safety memo aloud so they could laugh at him. Lindsay says she’s never seen a grown man ashamed like that, and they discuss how he’s one of the nicest guys there.
A group from the Calgary office visits the mine site, and Kate has to find the nice hard hats and safety vests for the visitors, the ones the actual workers can’t have because they’re too fancy. Basically, they have to put on a show for the head office people – everyone has to look sharp, make things tidier than normal etc. One of the visitors takes a photo of Kate. After they leave, Damian asks if he can have one of the fancy new vests, but they were taken back to Calgary even though they don’t need them at head office.
Kate continues doing her comics, and her colleagues occasionally read them. Ryan finds some of them in the scanner, which she had used to upload them to her website, and tells her not to leave her stuff lying around at work.
Becky and Kate discuss what it would have been like if their father had gone out to the oil sands to work when they were children, as many people did. They wonder if he would have been like the other men they work with, and how they must all be normal at home. Kate says she tries to remember that there are a lot of men who don’t bother her, but she doesn’t remember them because they’re not the ones in her face.
Their safety lectures tell them basic information about how ice is slippery and is all over the ground, which presumably every Canadian already knows. One of the men remarks that it’s not about safety, but an arse-covering exercise so that a worker can’t sue them if they fall. Kate doodles a pony in her notebook (thank you u/Amanda39 for linking to this comic in last week’s discussion!).
Many of the staff have families that they don’t see very often. One of the men gets a phonecall from his wife’s phone, which he answers thinking it’s an emergency as she never calls during the day; it turns out to be his young son, who is calling to see when he’s coming home next.
Brian asks Kate if she heard about the ducks (TITLE DROP!!); three hundred of them got stuck in a tailings pond at another oil sands site [read runner note – two years later, Syncrude was actually found guilty of the death of 1,600 ducks]. The site begins installing anti-waterfowl devices, and the staff are reminded that they have to wear PPE at all times. They’re also told about the death Gerald Snopes, another worker; some of the men talking amongst themselves, and Ryan tells them to have some respect. He had a heart attack while operating a crane, and threw himself out of the cab so that he wouldn’t land on the controls and cause an accident.
Kate hears about a road accident involving some men from Cape Breton. She asks Davy about it to see if she knows them, but neither of them do. Kate finds the news articles and feels annoyed that they were misidentified as Calgary men.
Kate notices some welts on her back; Lindsay has them too but doesn’t know what it is. Kate mentions all the dust they have to wipe off everything, and how there’s so much crap in the air. Lindsay wonders what kind of cancer they’ll have in 20 years.
Kate finds Doug building a scarecrow for the tailings pond, which is meant to scare off the ducks. Probably another arse-covering exercise.
Activists from Greenpeace try to block an oil sands pipeline, and 11 people are arrested. One of the workers gets angry about it, asking who will put their life on the line to unclog the pipe Greenpeace has blocked, and that it sure as hell won’t be the president of Shell. Kate hears about another death – a contractor was in his trucks, and one of the heavy haulers drove over it, crushing him.
Lindsay writes an article for a grassroots paper, giving the inside perspective on working at the oil sands. Kate considers doing a comic about it for them. Lindsay later wonders if she made a mistake writing her article, as many of the comments are critical, including many from women which Lindsay did not expect.
Kate sees a video on YouTube of Celina Harpe, an elder in the Cree community of Fort McKay, talking about the effect of the oil sands on the First Nation. Kate had not realised when she arrived there that Fort McKay was a First Nation, nor that it was so close to Syncrude. She thinks about how she’s not the president of Shell, but she’s still working there, and she can’t extract herself from having come.
At another safety meeting, the staff are down the safety pyramid, which has different levels: at the base it has at-risk behaviours, then near misses, then minor incidents, and it all leads to a major incident or a fatality.
Kate receives a phone call from a reporter at the Globe and Mail who had seen her comics about the oil sands. She asks several leading questions about her experience as a woman at the remote sites and the harassment, but Kate feels uncomfortable giving her examples. She later tells Lindsay that she couldn’t talk to the reporter as she felt like she just wanted gossip, and that the story was already written before she called.
The leering of one of the other workers bothers Kate in the lunchroom, and she tells Lindsay about her assaults. Lindsay is horrified that Mike and Brian laughed at her when she told them about it. Lindsay tells her that it happened to her in university as well.
Kate calls her parents to tell them that she’s finally paid off her student loan, but she needs to keep working at the site because now she has no money. She’s going to try making it as a cartoonist, and her parents are unimpressed.
Kate notices that Ryan is acting strangely, being absent a lot and not doing his work, and it can’t fully be explained by his recent divorce. She hears about other workers who are taking cocaine and behaving strangely too. She asks Ryan if he’s ok and he brushes it off. Kate contemplates the safety pyramid again. She finds a piece of paper on Ryan’s desk with an appointment for the employee assistance program. Emily later tells her that Ryan has left suddenly, and that they need to figure things out until a replacement is found.
Kate wonders why there are so many safety meetings but none have ever talked about drugs or alcohol. Her coworkers say that everyone knows why there is so much of both, and that the company can’t have safety meetings about illegal activities anyway.
Kate finally gets to leave the oil sands and go home. Her colleague Norman gives her prints of some of his photos of the northern lights as a leaving present, including one of a rainbow. Before she leaves, the company organises a staff photograph with all the workers on the site. Kate sees the man who assaulted her the second time, and he recognises her but can’t remember her name or who she is, and asks her how it’s going.
Kate trains her replacement, and finds out that she’s earning more than her despite not having any experience in tools. She complains to John about it, and finally rants about all her shitty treatment in the oil sands. She goes to see Gary in the head office, and demands her full bonus, which was going to be docked because she was leaving. Gary tells her it’s company policy. She tells him about the harassment, and he claims she could have come to them about it, but she fires back that he knows she couldn’t have. Gary agrees to give her the bonus. Her colleagues organise a going-away barbecue, and even Mike attends.
Back in Nova Scotia, Kate is reunited with her family. While out enjoying the seaside air, she chats to a farmer who tells her he’s keeping a field for his son who is working out west in case he ever comes back and wants to build a house. A man called Lauchie visits the house before moving west himself, and tells them there’s something for everyone out there and that the young people have everything they want. Out in Halifax with friends, she and Becky see a man from one of the camps, who tells Becky that they had a bet on who would sleep with her first. Their friends who haven’t worked in the oil sands can’t believe they’d let a man talk to them like that.
In the book’s afterword, Kate talks about how the book chronicles her specific experience at a specific time. She is wary of sensationalism of her story, especially because sexual assault is so common that it’s not actually sensational. She notes that neither of the men who raped her probably consider it to have been rape. She is also critical of the treatment of Indigenous people, and says the YouTube video of Celina Harpe was a “sword that cut through my ignorance”. We also find out that Becky died of cancer, and that her former coworkers pooled money together to send to her.
Bookclub Bingo 2023 categories: Non-Fiction, Graphic Novel (grey), Mod Pick (grey)
Other links:

• The first discussion
• Canada Reads page about Ducks [I hadn’t realised that Station Eleven, another recent bookclub read, was the runner up]
• Kate Beaton on Wikipedia
• Hark! A Vagrant, the archive of Kate Beaton’s comics website
• The original Hark! A Vagrant sketch comic about the oil sands (links to all five parts; I’ve posted the parts individually below this in case that’s easier)
• Original Ducks Part 1
• Original Ducks Part 2
• Original Ducks Part 3
• Original Ducks Part 4
• Original Ducks Part 5
• Lindsay Bird was one of the people in the book whose name wasn’t changed, and in 2019 she published a poetry collection about working in the oil sands called Boom Time. There’s a CBC article about the book here.

The questions are in the comments below. Thank you for joining me and u/fixtheblue in reading this book!

2017 Wrangler 4 door
I know how to take my doors and roof on and off. My drain plugs have been out for over a year. Car has been completely flooded multiple times. That’s pretty much it.
Mostly everything apart from my roof are factory parts.
I don’t know much of anything regarding general car knowledge. So with that being said, what should I know/know how to do before going off roading for the first time?
Please don’t make fun of me.

This post is an overview of the blackmail tactics used to control most of the influential people and governments around the world. Obviously I cannot cover everything in a single post, so as with my previous posts I highly encourage you to research further yourself. All sources and links are at the bottom of the post. An understanding of what trauma-based mind control programming (MKULTRA/MONARCH) is, and how it works, is again necessary to understanding much of this. My other posts here:

• Deep Underground Military Bases
  
• Alice in Wonderland Programming
  
• Overview of the Mind Control Running our World
  

The world is run on blackmail, mind control, and shame.
There exist many collections of videotapes of 'high-up' people engaging in some of the worst, sickest things imaginable. Drugs, torture, pedophilia, and murder are common themes to these videos. These tapes are in the hands of many different people, groups, and especially intelligence agencies. 'Honey-trap' operations are constantly being run to gather compromising and incriminating evidence on people of importance. Child slaves will be used to compromise people on video. Global leaders are often covertly videotaped doing perverted things with sex slaves sent to them by intelligence agencies, the Illuminati, or other groups, and this is then leveraged. Rape and murder of a child (forced or not), one of the most repulsive things possible, is many times filmed to ensure future compliance.
"Back in 1966, Rothstein became the first police detective assigned to investigate the prostitution industry. Almost immediately he discovered an underground sexual blackmail operation that compromised politicians with child prostitutes. ‘Human Compromise’ is what he labelled the honey-trap process. Rothstein and his colleagues found that approximately 70 percent of top US Government leaders were compromised in this way. Rothstein said, the CIA conducted the human compromise operation, while the FBI was tasked with covering up any leaks."

• Fiona Barnett [6]

"One of the things I found out over the last ten years of studying governments and listening to intelligence and counter-intelligence is that those in government are sexually compromised, and their sexual secrets are collected and then they are promoted into governments and into judiciaries and into all the positions of importance. Paedophilia is the preferred dirt as it is easily photographed, easily presented in a range of media, immensely shameful, and the public demands your resignation."

• Greg Hallett [12]

"Paul Bonacci, one of the victim-witnesses in the Franklin affair, also clearly stated Larry King used him in blackmail operations in New York and Washington. The latter was in connection with the activities of a close associate of Larry King, Craig Spence, who was involved in a prostitution ring consisting of underaged boys that were supplied to Washington's upper class, which went right up to the White House."

• The Reality of Protected Child Abuse Networks [11]

"Sexually bent politicians in denial of their sexuality to the public are a threat to their own country and policies. They are easily setup, photographed, politically bribed, toppled, and supported in the destruction of their country. This method of altering a country’s policies is epidemic and now endemic to politics."

• Greg Hallett [12]

"Bob (Hope) was politically connected and knew how to lure people in and insure they would work for him. He invited them to his parties and dangled various kinds of illegal or immoral perversions in their faces. Once their perversions were uncovered, he could blackmail or control them. That is how Bob worked. Bob was very good at this. I watched him do it to people over and over. He lured them in, detected their weaknesses, then used that knowledge in his favor, for his connections, and ultimately for his personal gain."

• Brice Taylor [5]

These blackmail 'practices' are often used in conjunction with trauma-based mind control. This mind control is an integral component of, and is deeply intertwined with child trafficking, sex slavery, Satanic ritual abuse, and many other horrific crimes. Many of the children used for blackmail are programmed, and many of the people being blackmailed (including (sometimes future) politicians, leaders, presidents, etc.) are also programmed themselves.
"My personal belief, based on my experiences, is that over the years, more leaders were under mind control."

• Brice Taylor [5]

"Fritz Springmeier notes that 'It is a standard tactic of the Illuminati, their New World Order and its various branches to use fear and blackmail to bring people into line.' Cheryl Beck had a 'sexy Sadie' program that was used to blackmail government and military people as a child prostitute seductress. Cathy O’Brien’s daughter Kelly was 'being prostituted to the CIA for blackmail purposes.' Svali notes that using child prostitutes to blackmail political leadership outside of the Illuminati was very common."

• Veronica Swift [10]

"Beryl-Green said Epstein knew about MKULTRA. He was into mind-controlling victims and satanic ritual abuse (SRA). Epstein was into DNA mixing, human cloning and he knew about New World Order plans."

• Hope Beryl-Green [17]

"This dirty game has been honed to a fine art, which is a standard feature of the Illuminati/intelligence groups. The CIA term for blackmail is an 'OK FIX.' When they use a person’s past sins to force someone to do something they refer to this as 'biographic leverage.' Any weak point in a person can and will be exploited. Sexual entrapment for blackmail is referred to as a 'HONEY TRAP'. Black widow alters are being trained and sent out for this purpose. In order to blackmail, or threaten, you have to have something to threaten the person with. Men are frequently entrapped by sexual behavior which is criminal. Sometimes they are also entrapped by murder. The Monarch slave will be allowed to have children so that they can be blackmailed into complying to save the children or grandchildren. The Monarch slave in turn may be used to blackmail others. Certain alters are trained in this. A Monarch Beta model is highly trained in seduction. Many politicians and ministers are operating under blackmail today. The extent that blackmail is being used by the NWO would boggle people’s minds. Porn films are taken of the Monarch victims, so that they can be used to blackmail the victim. Monarch victims are forced to commit ritual murders which are photographed and then used to blackmail the mind-controlled victim."

• Fritz Springmeier [15]

Intelligence agencies all over the world utilize blackmail, routinely employing and exploiting it as much as possible. It is an extremely important 'tool' of theirs. Operations are done to gather the incriminating evidence.
"Other 'neutralisations' verge on the bizarre. An individual who must remain nameless for a variety of reasons - but whose name is known to this writer - underwent an experience that is both horrific and chilling. I shall call this individual 'Mr. X' or, simply, 'X'. Mr. X was a leader of one of the largest CIA-backed Contra groups. He recently testified before the US Senate Intelligence Committee. Formerly, X was a senior executive in a South American subsidiary of a leading US soft drinks corporation. During his Senate testimony, he denied any knowledge of CIA involvement in the narcotics trade, adding that condoning such activity would have been foreign to his way of life. Not so, says Tatum. Mr. X had been recruited into the CIA by then-Director William Casey, with the assistance of Oliver North. In 1990, when Nicaraguan leader Daniel Ortega announced there would be 'free elections', X was ecstatic. He began jostling for position and asked President Bush to ensure he be given a prominent position in the new government - in return for his years of toil at the behest of the CIA and the Enterprise. The pressure came in a form that Bush could not ignore. Failure to help his friend would result in X's intimate knowledge of Bush's involvement in the dope trade being made public. His threat left Bush with a sour taste. A Pegasus team was assigned to 'neutralise' him in early 1990. Mr. X, Tatum states, 'fancied himself a lover of women. Tall, large-breasted blondes were his favourite. It was determined that, if effectively neutralised, [X] could be an asset. Therefore, it was decided that intimidation would be used to control [X].' They chose to use the drug Scopolamine, which also went by the nickname 'Burundanga' or 'the Voodoo drug'. The drug is extracted from the pods of a flowering shrub that grows in remote regions of South America. In its processed, powdered form, Scopolamine is 'void of smell, void of taste'. When properly administered 'it causes absolute obedience' without this being 'observable by others'. Importantly, the target will not recall any of the events that occurred during the period they were under the spell of the drug. Tatum states that X was invited to spend a relaxing weekend at a luxury hotel as a guest of his friend George Bush. His host for the weekend was a trusted 18-year veteran field-intelligence officer. The evening started with cocktails and was followed by a fine meal. ''Nothing but the best' were the orders.' Following the meal, he was ushered into the suite of a 'blonde bombshell' supplied by the CIA. Mr. X had already ingested a dose of Burundanga during pre-dinner cocktails. X was gallant with the blonde as they both moved into the bedroom where video cameras were already set up in one corner. In short order, the blonde had X standing naked in front of her and began to indulge his desires. All the while, the video cameras whirred. Slowly stripping off, the 'blonde' revealed his manhood in all its glory. Mr. X was instructed to reciprocate the favour and perform fellatio. He obliged, his intimate activities recorded at 24 frames a second on videotape. Tatum says the male prostitute was hired from a bar in New York and killed that same evening. Two weeks later, X - wholly unaware of the events of that evening - was visited in Nicaragua. He was presented with a copy of the video footage, along with instructions. Tatum says that X can never allow that video to be seen: 'Not only does it reveal his homosexuality, but it also reveals his bestiality and satanic worship rituals.' As frame after frame flicked by, X reportedly wept, forced to watch himself kill his homosexual 'lover' and then engage in the most grisly cannabalistic ritual imaginable. Neutralised, Mr. X became a leading member of the Nicaraguan government a few short weeks later."

• The Pegasus File [13]

"Check out the FBI records on Scarlett: What was his original HOOK that got him so deeply embedded into UK Illuminati culture? He murdered the nanny of Lord Lucan in the 1970's. Lucan wasn't actually involved. Scarlett got it wrong. He was under mind control at the time. How we all laughed on his training sessions when we heard that one. Not funny, really. We were all in the same boat. Each had something terrible attached to us, in our past. That is all part and parcel of the Illuminati contract. Young people forced under mind control to commit murder when young and then later on, picked up by British Intelligence to be used and abused as they wished - as loyal servants of the British Crown. One can only hope that by exposing these HOOKS, that some sort of amnesty can prevail. If these people are freed from the demonic Illuminati contract by exposing their HOOKS - one can only hope that they will come forward as a sizeable and influential body of political and public figures, in order to put an end to it. Here's hoping. Check out Rimington's hook to see what sort of mind ran MI5 for so long. It's a game called 'mafia' and it is ALL about blackmail."

• Ex MI6 [2]

"...He had previously signed off on Epstein’s 'sweetheart deal' because Epstein 'had belonged to intelligence.' Acosta, then serving as US attorney for Southern Florida, had also been told by unspecified figures at the time that he needed to give Epstein a lenient sentence because of his links to 'intelligence.'"

• Whitney Webb [4]

"Detective Rothstein found that the CIA were behind a blackmail operation in which child prostitutes were used to honey-trap and compromise politicians, military brass, top businessmen, and key government officials. Rothstein, who arrested the key Watergate perpetrator, said Watergate solely concerned this human compromise racket, and specifically was an attempt to obtain a list of compromised pedophile VIPs and their proclivities that was held at the Democratic National Headquarters."

• Fiona Barnett [8]

"Michael Aquino was in the military. He had top Pentagon clearances. He was a pedophile. He was a Satanist. He founded the Temple of Set. And he was a close friend of Anton LaVey. The two of them were very active in ritualistic sexual abuse. And they deferred funding from this government program to use in this experimentation on children. Where they deliberately split off the personalities of these children into multiples, so that when they're questioned or put under oath or questioned under lie detector, that unless the operator knows how to question a multiple-personality disorder, they turn up with no evidence. They used these kids to sexually compromise politicians or anyone else they wish to have control of...they were taken to be used by professional pedophiles. People that have the money to buy what they want, take the kids wherever they want...and by splitting the children’s personalities they could then train each one of the personalities to do a different function. And the rest of the personalities within that host personality would not be aware of it or remember it."

• Noreen Gosch, Johnny Gosch's mother (of the 'Franklin Boys') [1]

"Vinson also told Nick Bryant that Spence and Larry King were 'partners' and 'hooked up with the CIA', stating specifically that 'King and Spence were in business together, and their business was pedophilic blackmail.' They were transporting children all over the country. They would arrange for children to be flown into Washington, DC and also arrange for influential people in DC to be flown out to the Midwest and meet these kids. Per Vinson, Larry King had confided in him that he had clients who liked to torture and even kill children: 'King said they had clients who actually liked having sex with kids as they tortured or killed the kid. I found that totally unbelievable.' After Vinson said this to Nick Bryant, he asked Bryant later on in the interview if King’s disclosure had indeed been true. He was unaware at the time that other evidence, including witness testimony, had suggested that it was."

• Whitney Webb [4]

"According to fugitive ex-CIA officer Frank Terpil, CIA-directed sexual blackmailing operations were intensive in Washington at about the time of the Watergate scandal. One of those operations, Terpil claims, was run by his former partner, Ed Wilson. Wilson's base of operations for arranging trysts for the politically powerful was, Terpil says, Korean agent Ton Sun Park’s George Town Club. In a letter to the author, Terpil explained that ‘Historically, one of Wilson’s Agency jobs was to subvert members of both houses [of Congress] by any means necessary. Certain people could be easily coerced by living out their sexual fantasies in the flesh...A remembrance of these occasions was permanently recorded via selected cameras...The technicians in charge of filming were TSD [Technical Services Division of the CIA]...The unwitting porno stars advanced in their political careers, some of whom may still be in office.'"

• The Reality of Protected Child Abuse Networks [11]

"Intelligence and counter intelligence ‘work’, and they ‘work together’ to create scenarios that are so unbelievable that they cannot be published in the mainstream media, and if they are, they will appear like a joke. The information to blackmail a country, to blackmail its politicians, to blackmail its Prime Ministers and Presidents, to blackmail its judges and lawyers is a very serious matter."

• Greg Hallett [12]

The Illuminati and other cults also engage in the same blackmail operations. There is a huge overlap between secret societies/cults and intelligence, with top intelligence usually being run by them. All of them do this.
"I was able to have first hand access to the Jeffrey Epstein case investigation documents. According to the documents, Epstein was the head of a global fraternity related to the Shriners called The Royal Order of Jesters. This order is covered with scandals and lawsuits related to human trafficking, but they are very protected because many members of the order are high-profile political figures and businessmen. It is crazy how these people manage to operate under the radar for so many years, decades...Now you may ask how they do this? Easy...By using blackmail tactics, they manage to have Judges and Law Enforcement licking their feet. That's how Jeffery Epstein got assassinated. After he was out of the game, the whole business is run by other people. Major names are involved and many high-profile people who are all bound to the order by means of blackmail. This is particularly disturbing when you find out that the cases of Catholic priests involved in sex scandals are events organized by The Order of Jesters. They run blackmail operations with the purpose of seducing people in power...With those videos in their power, the careers and the public image of many people are in the Jester's hands. They are free to do anything, they can turn even the President of the United States into a slave."
-- "Jeffrey Epstein Post" [7]
"Illuminati 'FROG ON A LILYPAD' programming: The FROG as a paedophile - with no 'tadpole tail/tale', as in no memory of what he/she has done until they get past 40 years old. It becomes clear that so many people were forced to be paedophiles and to abuse their children - only to wake up to all of this later on - post 40 years old. Then to have Stella Rimington on their doorstep with a videotape - telling them that she will send it to the police if they do not do precisely what she says. The ultimate blackmail weapons combined: A tape of you committing paedophilia - and even worse - incest with your own children. Guaranteed to 'silence' most people for life. The scope of this Illuminati blackmail project has been immense, in British society and it has to be exposed. There is safety in numbers."

• Ex MI6 [2]

"(Sue) Arrigo adds that the kids with the most smarts and/or looks, about 5% are skimmed off the top by the Luciferians in charge like the Bushes and used as either spies or corporate sex slaves or both. They’re typically pimped out on high priced loans to influential politicians as house boy and girls to ensure the puppets in Congress are happy and blackmail-able for control."

• Joachim Hagopian [14]

"The Masonic leadership of Freemasonry in a given area will have thousands of 'blackmail' files on essentially everyone of importance in their area. Upper echelon people such as judges, lawyers, and politicians are generally controlled via IRS infringements, and many of the lower echelon people are controlled through weird sexual items. This is where the Delta and Beta Monarch slaves are so helpful to the Illuminati. (This information comes from several witnesses who are informed about the blackmail files & their methods for blackmailing.)"

• Fritz Springmeier [16]

These people are already in power, and have set their system up so that nobody rises to a prominent, powerful, or influential position without being selected, extensively compromised, controllable, and usually under mind control. They are all 'in it together', and because of this they protect eachother. Most have 'insurance' on one another.
"The most common phrase associated with that one was ‘talk about the pot calling the kettle black’, meaning that each Illuminati slave had been caught on camera and from an early age – doing something terrible – as Rimington was fond of saying ‘we are all as bad as each other and all in it together.’"

• Ex MI6 [2]

"Oftentimes when I and others were prostituted to various government (New World Order) leaders, Dante had hidden cameras filming perverse sexual acts apparently for future blackmail leverage. These videos were scandalous in proportion and were usually ordered by Reagan. Dante turned the videos over to Reagan, and covertly kept copies to protect himself. Dante converted a small room of his Beverly Hills mansion into a security vault, where he kept his personal copies of the international blackmail porn tapes there. Blackmail was openly initiated to ensure that each criminal participant understood that if one fell, they all fell. Maintaining 'dirt' on each other through this Mafia-style method was seemingly the only way these criminals implementing the New World Order kept each other 'honest.'"

• Cathy O'Brien [3]

"The Watergate break-in was strictly based on one thing - the pedophile records that were being kept at the Democratic National Headquarters."

• Detective James Rothstein (NYPD, Retired) [6]

"In 1972, Rothstein arrested one of the five Watergate burglars, CIA operative Frank Sturgis. During a subsequent two-hour interrogation, Rothstein discovered the truth about Watergate (plus Sturgis’ and the CIA’s involvement in the Bay of Pigs incident, and the related assassination of JFK). Sturgis told Rothstein, the Watergate burglars sought something they nicknamed ‘The Book’ which listed the Democratic and Republican politicians who accessed child prostitutes, their sexual proclivities, the amounts they paid to rape kids, etc."

• Fiona Barnett [6]

There are certain places known for this, two famous examples being Little St. James island or Bohemian Grove (there are many, many others).
"For those of you who are interested in Bohemian Grove and the current list upon the Internet of those poor unsuspecting 'invitees' who will be pressganged into going (and subsequently blackmailed out of their minds afterwards, by the Illuminati)...the entrapment going on at Bohemian Grove is of an avaricious and esoteric nature - in relation to all of those unlucky 'invitees' who want to join this 'prestigious club' but then get videoed doing things that they wouldn't want anyone to know about - 'guests' who are then subsequently blackmailed out of their brains...and for the rest of their lives. But then that was what the Illuminati cult and their Sat B'hai contract has always been about...promising that you would get everything for nothing (if you agreed to be unquestioningly obedient to the Crown) and that you would now be part of an 'esoteric' prestigious Satanic club."

• Ex MI6 [2]

"Numerous videos are covertly produced at the supposedly secure political sex playground in northern California, Bohemian Grove. High tech undetectable cameras use fiber optics, and fish-eye lenses were in each of the elite club's numerous sexual perversion theme rooms. I was programmed and equipped to function in all rooms at Bohemian Grove in order to compromise specific government targets according to their personal perversions. 'Anything, anytime, anywhere with anyone' was my mode of operation at the Grove. My perception is that Bohemian Grove serves those ushering in the New World Order through mind control, and consists primarily of the highest Mafia and U.S. Government officials. Project Monarch mind controlled slaves were routinely abused there to fulfill the primary purpose of the club: purveying perversion. Bohemian Grove is reportedly intended to be used recreationally, providing a supposedly secure environment for politically affluent individuals to 'party' without restraint. The only business conducted there pertained to implementing the New World Order, through the proliferation of mind-control atrocities, giving the place an air of 'Masonic Secrecy'. The only room where business discussions were permitted was the small, dark lounge affectionately and appropriately referred to as the Underground. The wooden sign was carved to read: 'U.N.DERGROUND'. My purpose at the Grove was sexual in nature, and therefore my perceptions were limited to a sex slave's viewpoint. As an effective means of control to ensure undetected proliferation of their perverse indulgences, slaves such as myself were subjected to ritualistic trauma. Slaves of advancing age or with failing programming were sacrificially murdered 'at random' in the wooded grounds of Bohemian Grave, and I felt it was 'simply a matter of time until it would be me'. Rituals were held at a giant, concrete owl monument on the banks of the Russian River. These occultish sex rituals stemmed from the scientific belief that mind-controlled slaves required severe trauma to ensure compartmentalization of the memory. I witnessed the sacrificial death of a young, dark-haired victim at which time I was instructed to perform sexually 'as though my life depended upon it'. I was told, 'The next sacrifice victim could be you.' The club offered a 'Necrophilia' themed room to its members. I was so heavily drugged and programmed when used in the 'necrophilia' room, that the threat of actually 'slipping through death's door' and being sacrificed 'before I knew it' did not affect me. Other perversion theme rooms at the Bohemian Club included what I heard Ford refer to as the 'Dark Room'. When he not so cleverly said, 'Let's go to the Dark Room and see what develops,' I understood from experience that he was interested in indulging in his perverse obsession for pornography. In the Dark Room, members had sex with the same mind-controlled slave they were viewing in porn on a big screen television. There was a triangular glass display centered in a main through way where I was locked in with various trained animals, including snakes. Members walking by watched illicit sex acts of bestiality, women with women, mothers with daughters, kids with kids, or any other unlimited perverse visual display. I was once brutally assaulted by Dick Cheney in the Leather Room, which was designed like a dark, black leather-lined train berth. There was a room of shackles and tortures, black lights and strobes, an opium den, ritualistic sex altars, a chapel, group orgy rooms including poster beds, water beds, and 'kitten' houses. I was used as a 'rag doll' in the 'toy store,' and as a urinal in the 'golden arches' room. From the owl's roost to the necrophilia room, no memory of sexual abuse is as horrifying as the conversations overheard in the Underground pertaining to implementing the New World Order. I learned that perpetrators believed that controlling the masses through propaganda mind manipulation did not guarantee there would be a world left to dominate due to environmental and overpopulation problems. The solution being debated was not pollution/population control, but mass genocide of 'selected undesirables'."

• Cathy O'Brien [3]

News 'headlines' with hidden symbolic communication are also used by intelligence and other groups, many times referring to blackmail (among the many other varieties of covert operations).
"'Nuclear' is a comm used all over the world to symbolize extraordinarily explosive information, like blackmail. Which is why if we reconcile blackmail with news about nuclear, a secret truth will become clear. The two most powerful blackmailers ever? That would probably be Jeffrey Epstein and Hugh Hefner. And this is why the deaths of blackmailers like Hugh Hefner and Jeffrey Epstein both coincided with 'Nuclear Accidents':"
08/09/2019 Is Putin covering up a Nuclear disaster?

• 08/09/2019 = Russia Hides a Nuclear Accident!
• 08/10/2019 = CIA Blackmailer Epstein Dead
• 09/26/2017 = Russia Hides a Nuclear Accident!
• 09/27/2017 = CIA Blackmailer Hefner Dead

09/26/2017 Nuclear explosion kept secret by Russia
"Why are CIA blackmailers dying the day after Russia declares nuclear accidents? The reason for the -1 day in Epstein’s case is they likely died before the official day, and these comms were to give agents a heads up on the upcoming BOOM before it hits papers. In Hefners case they had to signal people to move the blackmail. The point as stated is a lot of 'nuclear' is all about blackmail. Not all of it, but a lot of it."

• "Symbolic Communication" [9]

Blackmail is a worldwide 'practice', with all countries and their governments engaging in aquiring and utilizing it to the fullest.
"Just as the 1986 Mirano scandal, the X-Dossiers contain evidence that sexual blackmail operations, whoever is running them, are not limited to the United States. In 1996, X1 reported how the same activities had been going on in Brussels."
"As the bewildered Belgians tried to make sense of what was going on, incredible rumours began circulating that Dutroux might have been protected in some way, that he had friends in high places. Pornographic videos taken from his home were said to feature prominent individuals, one a senior member of the Roman Catholic church. It almost defied belief. Who would protect a psychopath, other than people with something truly terrible to hide?...'It is quite obvious,' said Katarin de Clercq, Belgian coordinator of the pressure group End Child Prostitution Abduction and Trafficking, 'that some people were protecting Dutroux. The government tried to convince us that he was a lone serial killer and psychopath, but now we hear stories about unnamed famous personalities being involved in sex orgies and blackmail and pornographic video tapes. People feel that something is completely wrong here and we have to show we will not tolerate it.'"

• The Reality of Protected Child Abuse Networks [11]

"I was unfortunate enough to attend the IHS Templar Castle rite in 2001. Amongst the people in attendence were: J. K. Rowling. Gordon Brown. David Miliband. Stephen Daldry. Stella Rimington (she was the Dr. Mengele of the organisation, organising the torture and murder of kidnapped children). Dr. Joanne Collie. Andrew Marr (he spent most of the time naked and screaming - off his head on some form of narcotic). John Scarlett (he was so drunk/drugged up that he had very little idea of what was going on around him). The Templars had captured a large amount of people whom they called the 'snakes' i.e. slaves in a large dungeon underneath the castle. One brave person managed to set them free and the result in the neighbouring village of Mons and other places nearby, ensured that the British Army had to move in. Thus began the most incredible cover-up in recent European history. It was like WACO, Guyana. I was one of the 'slaves' taken at that castle but subsequently freed by the British Army (who also know what happened - a MASSIVE cover-up). The British Army ordered those in the Castle to come out. They then sent a tank in to bulldoze the walls. Prince Philip and Prince William were in that Castle. Both of them had murdered countless tiny children in their rites. The British Army assembled watched as both walked out with large, dark, woven potato sacks over their heads. They were then bundled into a van and driven away. The name SPUDNIKS was coined because Prince Philip and Prince William had to exit the castle with potato sacks pulled down over their heads and bodies. The British Army present at the time - may or may not have had any idea who they were but the SIS general there, certainly did. They might have managed to cover it up regarding the ordinary soldiers there but the videotapes are now on sale worldwide. The whole event had been closely monitored for blackmail purposes."

• Ex MI6 [2]

The CIA also blackmails incestual/pedophilic parents for their children to use in trauma-based mind control slave projects like MONARCH.
"My Uncle Bob, also implicated in manufacturing the porn, out of apparent desperation informed my father of a U.S. Government Defense Intelligence Agency TOP SECRET Project to which he was privy. This was Project Monarch. Project Monarch was a mind-control operation which was 'recruiting' multigenerational incest abused children with Multiple Personality Disorder for its genetic mind-control studies. I was a prime 'candidate,' a 'chosen one'. My father seized the opportunity as it would provide him immunity from prosecution."

• Cathy O'Brien [3]

"The expendables are the children of parents who were blackmailed into turning their children over to the CIA. This is all hidden by the power of the National Security Act. These are children, who have been sold by pedophile fathers, or pornographic parents. The programmers/masters program them with the expectation that they will be "thrown from the freedom train" when they get to age 30. (Freedom Train is the code word for the Monarch trauma-based mind-control. To be thrown from the Freedom Train means to be killed.) The CIA and the Illuminati are skilled at blackmailing parents to give up their children. They would watch the mail for porn. Pedophile and murderers who abuse their children are warned that they will go to prison for long lengths of time if they do not cooperate by selling their children into mind-controlled slavery. In return for the parent’s cooperation, they provide rich financial rewards to the parent(s). It’s clearly a case of 'if you don’t cooperate you lose in life big time, if you do cooperate you win big time.'"

• Fritz Springmeier [15]

Blackmail is the glue holding together all of the sick people in charge, and is the one of the top methods of control. This is the truth: blackmail, pedophilia, and mind control are how this world is really run.
"Former CIA director William Colby giving advice to John DeCamp, urging him to quit his investigations into the Franklin child abuse affair:"
"'What you have to understand, John, is that sometimes there are forces and events too big, too powerful, with so much at stake for other people or institutions, that you cannot do anything about them, no matter how evil or wrong they are and no matter how dedicated or sincere you are or how much evidence you have. This is simply one of the hard facts of life you have to face.'"

• The Reality of Protected Child Abuse Networks [11]

"Again, it’s built in, entrenched foxes guarding the predatory henhouse that permeate all levels of government, military, courts, law enforcement, entertainment and news media, corporate global finance and education. With pedophile puppet masters controlling the pedophile puppet strings of blackmailed, compromised and controlled Western politicians, courts and law enforcement, their diabolical infrastructure has afforded them living above the law continuing to rape and kill our innocents for centuries."

• Joachim Hagopian [14]

Links and Sources
[1] - Noreen Gosch Speaks About - Jeff Gannon, Johnny Gosch And The Attempted Theft Of Her Book 'Why Johnny Can't Come Home'

• Noreen Gosch

[2] - Master List of Quotes and Comments

• Ex MI5/MI6 Agents and Royal Arch Illuminati slaves

[3] - Trance-Formation of America

• Cathy O'Brien

[4] - One Nation Under Blackmail

• Whitney Webb

[5] - Thanks for the Memories

• Brice Taylor

[6] - Eyes Wide Open

• Fiona Barnett

[7] - "I had access to classified documents about the Jeffrey Epstein case"
[8] - Child Trafficking, Ritual Sex Abuse & MK-ULTRA Are A Single Worldwide Operation, Run by the U.S., U.K. and AUS Secret Services

• Fiona Barnett

[9]- Symbolism Communication
[10] - An Illuminati Primer

• Veronica Swift, Jessie Czebotar

[11] - The Reality of Protected Child Abuse Networks
[12] - The Hallett Report No. 1

• Greg Hallett

[13] - The Pegasus File

• David G. Guyatt

[14] - Anatomy of the Luciferian Elite’s Global Child Sex Trafficking Pedophile Operations

• Joachim Hagopian on CathyFoxBlog

[15] - The Illuminati Formula Used To Create An Undetectable Mind Control Slave

• Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler

[16] - Deeper Insights Into the Illuminati Formula

• Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler

[17] - Hope Beryl-Green Article

It's ironic that in this day and age with the internet so accessible and social media holding so much significance over everything everyone does, that corporate america (or should i say corporate taiwan) still thinks it's ok to condemn workplace abuse (emotionally & physically). Me being naive running to HR for help but HR going directly to my supervisors and ganging up on me. Oh how silly, I guess they didn't realize who they just made their public enemy #1. Where should I even begin? Wow the endless possibilities I have here huh well I guess lets just start rocking the boat by talking about how OSHA is a gimmick and why even exist when everyone working in TSMC Arizona are in a office with unsafe working conditions every single day yet when reported to OSHA they do absolutely nothing about it. Let me put into words for you since I can't share with you any pictures. Imagine working in a office that isn't even nearly remote close to being completed and their is so much construction going on everyday you literally are either inhaling silica dust or hear drilling sounds pierced in your ears, vibrations under your foot for 12 hours on end. TSMC when first beginning their Arizona project had rented temporary office spaces that were only allowed a maximum amount of occupancy on each floor they rented but do you think they even cared about that? Nope, everyday the temp. offices were crammed so full that people were practically sitting on top of each other and shoved into random spaces not even real legal office spaces just empty areas that upper management decided "Yeah ok, that works lets just shove them there." Later on mid march when the official TSMC AZ offices announced they would start moving people in everyone was so stoked, thinking we would finally get proper office spaces, our own seating real lunchrooms accessible bathroom etc everything + anything a real billion dollar company office should have. Instead to our disappointment we were left with no running water, bathrooms that can flush but you can not wash your hands, sinks and water fountains that dispensed brown water when you tried using them every other month we have notices of water stopping to not use the bathroom and bring our own water.......12 HOUR SHIFTS WITH NO BATHROOM? In the middle of the desert? How on earth is this ethical. Not to mention the office is either burning hot like the desert air or freezing like alaska and when we asked for something to be done upper management just replied "Wear bigger jackets" So you had hundreds of employees sitting in a below freezing office 12 hours a day with heavy thick winter coats IN THE MIDDLE OF APRIL IN ARIZONA??? I was amazed anyone in Arizona owned winter coats. I literally got sick 4 times back to back working in that condition, I was so cold one time my fingers froze and stiffened up so bad I couldn't type anymore I had to keep rubbing them together inside my jacket until they warmed up enough to continue working. Look what I am trying to say is that a lot is happening inside TSMC Arizona that so many people do not hear or know about so I will gladly be the one to update you all because I want change I want a safe work environment for me and my colleagues I want TSMC to take accountability and until they do I want to be the one to expose what they're really like, what is really happening behind closed doors. Here below is a brief update list of all the that has happened from the day they allowed employees to work inside the official F21 site.
- on a daily tsmc spends about $300,000 to their contractors and vendors like ABM who are hired to work on site to help with this project but what tsmc themselves don't even know is that lately we have been having evacuations almost every week sometimes even as far as twice a week but they're not even real evacuations concerns! they are occuring because ABM workers have gotten smart and realized if they blow the emergency airhorn it will create a chaos and we have to evacuate the whole entire building for about an hour each time because there are like hundreds and hundreds of workers everywhere on each floor so it takes so long for everyone to get out safely and by the time the entire evacuation is over they come back its lunch time and then boom at 2 they go home. not only has this been happening so often but on top of that people started paying people to take turns blowing the horn and standing guard so they don't get caught.
- ABM workers are being paid to do nothing literally every day. When walking on the construction site you have no idea how many people I see sitting by the door just napping or staring at the floor. We have to wear shoe covers in some parts of the building and there was 3 workers handing out shoes covers....3 WORKERS - literally just handing out one shoe cover. It does not take 3 people to complete this task. Sometimes i ask them what they were assigned to do and they said to just stand there in the hallway literally thats it, stand.
- One day my coworker took the elevator with some people and when the elevator reached the 4th floor the cable snapped and dropped to the 1st floor. He then was stuck in there for 40 mins because nobody could find out why or get the doors opened. But then when opened he told me they hurried him away, said they would pay him for the rest of the working day but to go home immediately. I didn't even hear about this until he had to tell me himself. TSMC could've done the right thing and issued out a warning to not use the elevator for the time being until deemed safe again but instead they shoved money into the problem and hid it from all of us working there.
- the FABs where the semiconductor chips are being made sometimes have areas where there are open holes or flooring that were not properly placed yet but because as always tsmc prioritizes money not safety they rushed engineers to go inside and start working immediately and one day one of the engineers fell into these holes. Luckily he is fine! But it really could've been a lot worse
- Contractors working in these FABS are not near or have any drinking water accessible to them all day while working inside but the temperatures in these places sometimes go as high as 90 degrees inside because there is no working electricity so there is no proper airflow or windows so they are literally being suffocated in these confined covered spaces and have to wear cleanroom suites so they are so hot and humid too.
- there are no bathrooms in these places so we have found many water bottles full of pee lying around inside the FABs on top of that they were now being tossed and moved around so much when i was driving to work last week i saw a water bottle filled with yellow liquid sitting in the parking space under the hot desert sun
- the fbi had to be called in because we had one week where there was 3 fires and the police questioned that these fires were starting to be intentional and someone was risking everyones life by starting real fires on site
- a angry worker had a fight with one of the taiwanese worker that had just flown in from taiwan and that american grabbed a steel pipe and hit the taiwanese assignee over the head and he was sent to the hospital. Yet again we were not made aware of this situation and tsmc tried to hide it keep it hush hush to protect themselves not protect us
- are you ready for this one?
an employee last week brought a real PISTOL INTO tsmc. INTO. FOR 12 HOURS.... there was an active gun inside this building and the worst part of this all was that we have a whole x-ray machine + metal detectors 8 security guards working in the front more security inside the building and this employee managed to carry a whole gun inside TSMC Arizona he managed to get a whole gun inside past the metal detectors past the x-ray machines PAST the security guards who also scan you up and down when you walk inside. Now this is all made to public eye because he had gotten caught can you even imagine the employees who haven't gotten caught? If he was able to so easily bring a gun inside tsmc az then who's to say he was the first or will be the last? Who's to say there hasn't already been more or others.
Every day i go to work i feel constantly scared because they recently torn apart the ceilings above our heads so all the mechanical work the wirings the cables they all are hanging and dangling from above and i just feel like one day one of it is going to either fall or hurt me or my colleagues. Now i have to worry about my actual safety as well because they're just letting anyone bring anything up inside here. Make matters worse whats the point of all the security when TSMC Az has no security cameras working or on? They are literally all just for show the security cameras you see they are not being of use right now they don't work. Everyday our personal belongings are being stolen TSMC projectors that cost thousands of dollars are being stolen from meeting rooms, workers sneaking past wire cutters to this point where we locked our projectors to a cable and that cable is being cut and things still get stole. Anyways thats all i have for now, for today at least. Don't worry I will definitely be back even if nobody reads this i will continue to shout from the top of my lungs
GET REAL....TSMC AZ

TLDR: I cannot be the only person who sees this.... Biden is too old and frail, a bit shady, and his VP is clueless and completely unqualified.... Trump is a criminal and also too old and unfit for office and totally corrupt.... Can we please please please get a couple of reasonable candidates to vote for... literally any regular ass American would be better.
Let's start out with my intention. I would love for this post to get 69 million 420 thousand upvotes... but seriously, I want as many people as possible to see this because the media is starting to make me feel like I am the only person who sees that this election cycle is nuts.
This Presidential election is looking to be a choice between two terrible options... I will outline all of my demographics followed by my thoughts and I would really like to hear some alternative opinions because as a regular ass voter, I see nothing but terrible options from the two parties and I am starting to feel like I am the only one who sees that the current political landscape is a total shit show.
Demographics: Ethnicity: Caucasian Gender: Male Age: 35 Occupation: Military Officer Education: BS (it was a bullshit degree but also a bachelor of science) Relationship: Married (divorced once but I deserved it. I was a total shithead the first time) ... happy to provide any other demographics but at the end of the day I am a regular American with a regular salary, a regular job, a regular everything else.
Biden Let me start off by admitting that I was wrong about this guy. I voted for him in the last election because I felt like President Trump was unstable as fuck and presidential policy should not be posted on social media or be based on how one man is feeling that particular day. Biden promised a lot, I didn't expect much from him, to be honest, but I had hoped that we would at least get a president who was able to fill the role at a basic level. I was not looking for Teddy Roosevelt or Abraham Lincoln. I was simply hoping for a President who would show up to work, have a reasonable foreign policy, who would put some pressure on the corporations and their CEOs making millions of dollars, and who would address the issues that the majority of Americans were dealing with like student loans, health care, unfair taxes, and loopholes that benefit the 1% and fuck the 99%. End of the day I was hoping that he would look out for the 99 and not the 1%. So far we have got some good and bad in terms of policy... he got us out of the war in the middle east even though that was completely fucked up... poor planning... total rush to failure. Thank God that more people were not killed or injured and God bless those service members who sacrificed all for this shitty plan, they were patriots and I am thankful every day that we have Americans like them willing to "stand the watch." He got some relief for parents who could use the help financially when times were tough during covid but he totally fucked it up when he fumbled the ball when it came to supporting the unions like the rail workers, amazon, etc, he fucked up student debt relief (we shouldn't ONLY forgive loans...we need to address the outrageous price tag on education in addition to the loans)... He appointed Mayer Pete who had one job as Transportation Secretary and totally fucked that up by prioritizing his image over actually dealing with airline travel (I am a pilot so a bit read in on this topic... he screwed the pooch on this one), trains, and the supply chain.... he also has been a bit short sided on Ukraine support.... (Ukraine deserves independence but there needs to be an explanation of what we are getting as taxpayers for our money... Please explain to me what the return on investment is for the billions we are spending. I do not have an issue with spending our tax dollars on helping make the world a better place but I need to know how my $50B+ is making a difference before you spend it.) Also his sons.... Beau was a naval officer who allegedly did a bunch of drugs.... should have been booted out of the military and Hunter absolutely took dirty money and it was all covered up. President Biden may not have been involved in any of that but at the end of the day, all of the sins of his sons were covered up for the benefit of their father.
Trump As a white male military officer, I thought I was definitely a Republican before this guy came into office. I mean come on, I was basically their prime demographic. At least that is what I was told my whole adult life. I was unsure when he was elected as I thought this was a publicity stunt. Then he put "Mad Dog" Mattis in office as the Sec Def and I thought "America, Fuck YEA!" he had a bunch of crazy ass tweets and I wrote most of them off because I trusted that General Mattis and the rest of the cabinet would keep the country on the right track. And then he fired Mattis. This was the point when I realized this dude is a sociopath who only cared about being "right". He gave no fucks about what the correct decision was... all he wanted was to be "right." The most respected military General since Colin Powel was fired/resigned from the office of Sec Def under President Trump.... This was shocking. But who knows what happened behind closed doors.... perhaps this was for the best. Then the election and Jan 06. And since then this dude has been the sorest loser I have ever seen. It has been 3 years and he is still talking about how the election was stolen and if you disagree with him he will blackmail you into agreeing with him or he will support your opposition candidate. Fuck this dude. That is not how democracy works..... I do not disagree with his foreign policy as a military officer... He made some solid decisions regarding China and his critique of NATO was not completely incorrect. He said things and made decisions that others were afraid to say and do and I was into it but he also said and did things that was I absolutely not into... if you want America's help then there has to be some benefit to the American taxpayer... if you want to fuck around and find out with OPEC and your pilot students shooting up an American Military Base... then enjoy fighting your wars with Iran on your own.... I full-heartedly believe that the American Tax Payer should see a return on investment for their taxes but President Trump seems to only actually give a shit about his own personal gain. Let's not be naive, his son-in-law totally got paid off by Mohammed bin Salman. He 100% had the support of the Putin regime. He gave himself and his buddies tax breaks that he did not afford the 99%. He said a lot of crazy shit. This guy is nuts and doesn't give two shits about the 99%. He will gladly give you a MAGA hat for your donation but when it comes to actual policy, he has shown that he will take your money, put some in his own pocket, some in the pockets of his friends, and then give you just a little bit back so that you feel like you got the good end of the deal.....The average American made much less than the 1%... he gave you some back in covid relief to make you forget that you were getting royally fucked.
I am not running for president but if I was this would be my platform... in other words, this would be the platform that I wish we could vote for!

• National policies
  • Politicians are public servants - Elected officials are elected to serve the American public, not themselves. Stop being greedy!
    • If you hold a political office, you are allowed to only buy the total US stock market index. -This would force politicians to be financially vested in the US economy and prevent them from insider trading with specific companies.... if you want to serve in public office you need to sacrifice some autonomy. No one should use political office to benefit themselves personally. You were elected to enrich the lives of your constituent, not your own personal net worth.
    • Term Limits - Congress and Senate should not be allowed to serve more than 10 years.
    • Lobbyists - Lobbyists serve a purpose or so am I told but they should not be allowed to contribute any money at all to any political agenda.... period. Nothing. They can voice their opinions like any other voter but that is it.
    • There should be a public fund to pay for political campaigns. That fund should be standard for each candidate. They all get the same amount. I am not certain what the right move here is but it is not currently an equal playing field. Someone from the lowest rungs of the socioeconomic ladder against someone from the top run should have the same chance. The candidate with the policies that best represent the people they stand for should win.
  • Abortion
    • This is a state issue. Allow states to vote on their own policy..... if California wants to allow abortion then let them. If Georgia wants to ban abortion then let them... If you live in a state that does not share your personal beliefs on this then you are welcome to move and become a resident of another state that does share those same principles. There is no reason why every state needs to be the same. Some can be conservative, others can be liberal. Use your vote to voice your opinion in your individual state elections. This should not be a federal decision.
  • Taxes
    • Taxes should be fair - There is no logical reason why Warren Buffet or the rest of the 1% should pay less than 99%. - Close the tax loopholes that allow the wealthy to pay less taxes than the average American. A consumption tax is the most practical policy here although it does unfairly tax lower income until you begin to factor in luxury taxes. I am cognizant that there is not an easy solution to this issue but that does not mean it is impossible. Cap taxes for basic necessities like food, utilities, housing (Under $1M for 1st house), and vehicle (under $100k) at 0%. Elevate taxes for luxury items (houses over $1M, second homes, Vehicles over 100K, personal jets, restaurants, etc) to 25%, and everything else at a flat 10% sales tax. Adjust income taxes to reflect average incomes and tax the lowest 50% at 0-15%, tax the top 25% of income at 15-20%, and tax the top 25% at 20-25%. Capital gains tax remains the same as that is an equal playing field... you hold the stock for 365 days or more and only pay 15%....This may or may not be the best tax policy but at least it is considerate of those who need the tax relief most. The more you spend on nonessentials the more taxes you pay. I am definitely open to some conversation/deviation here but this is a hell of a lot more fair than what we currently have and a consumption tax also generates some tax income for travelers and illegal migrants who currently do not pay any taxes but often receive free or reduced healthcare over tax-paying Americans (looking at you California).
  • Immigration
    • This is a core tenant of our nation. We need an immigration policy that protects our citizens but also allows others to come to this country to contribute to our success. There is a tough balance here to navigate but not impossible. Let's fund the applicable departments and ensure they have highly qualified agents to sort those who would add value to our nation and those who would cause problems. We have the most robust intelligence apparatus in the world. I am sure that if we focus our attention on external threats instead of internal threats we could figure out who to recruit to our team and who to pass on, all while making our country more productive and safe.
  • Education
    • This is a big one... Our children are our future... and we are failing them! Parents get 4 years with their kids before they head off to start school. That is the last time that we get 100% of their attention before they start receiving input from other adults and peers. We are doing them a disservice by not recruiting the best and brightest to mold them into tomorrow's workforce. Teaching is like every other career field. If we paid teachers the same as we paid CEOs, athletes, celebrities, etc. We would get more applicants than we would know what to do with. We could then choose the best and brightest to spend 8 hours a day teaching our children to invent the next best thing.... Obviously, we cannot as a nation afford to pay every teacher $25M a year but you get the point. Let's make a starting salary for a teacher $100k and choose the best applicants to teach our children. Teachers should be the best of society and should be regarded as such.....
    • Now let's talk about college. A college degree is overrated as fuck currently. A bachelor's degree from a state school should not cost you more than what you make for the first 5 years of working. There needs to be a cap on what colleges can charge. It's great that we are looking into student loan repayment and I absolutely think that we need to help even the scales there but first, we need to stop the bleeding. A college degree from a state school receiving federal funding should not cost a student more than $50k for a 4-year degree. If you want to go to a private school then you are all on your own but let's give everyone an option to go to school for a reasonable price. We should not have to spend our lives repaying a loan for education. This is only going to discourage young men and women from attending these storied institutions. It is criminal what these schools are charging.
  • Healthcare
    • First, let me start out by saying fuck all of these people at the top. I am looking at the corporate fat cats, the insurance companies, the Sacklers. Healthcare is out of control even worse than education. We need to put limits on what they can charge, limits on what medications cost, and very strong quality assurance in the FDA to make sure that these drug companies are not poisoning us. Healthcare should be a right, not a privilege. We all deserve quality healthcare. Make it happen POTUS.
  • Equal Opportunity
    • Everyone deserves equality of opportunity... not equality of result. We all deserve the ability to succeed but success should not be given just because of our race/gendeethnicity/sexual orientation/economic resources. I personally do not care what color you are, what gender you are, or what you like to do with your free time. I only care about what you contribute. Black, Brown, White, or any other color of the rainbow, gay, straight, or anything in between, none of it matters. All that does actually matter is results and we should all have the same opportunity to succeed regardless of the details because, at the end of the day, we are all people striving for a "more perfect union"!
  • Defense
    • Completely UNSATISFACTORY that the Pentagon cannot pass an audit. We talk about our defense spending like it's a badge of honor but there is no mention of the efficiency of our tax dollars. If we give the DOD $2T then we should know what our return on investment is! The budget should not increase for defense spending until the DOD can pass an audit. This is Ludacris! I see fraud, waste, and abuse daily but there is nothing that can be done about it. We do not need to spend millions of dollars on a base right next to another base because they are "historic." We do not neet do complete training exercises spending thousands of dollars per hour just to say that we have done the thing that we will never actually do in war. There is absolutely no reason we need to pay millions of dollars for program overruns just because have already contributed so much to that project. We need to hold the DOD and the defense contractors accountable and to be honest we need to account for every penny that is spent.... With that said, Veterans have sacrificed a lot and we owe it to them as a country to compensate them and ensure that they are taken care off after they have sacrificed their future for the good of the republic. Many of our veterans will live much shorter lives than their civilian counterparts due to their service and the least we can do is ensure that their sacrifice is noticed and compensated for. How much is a year of your life worth? Ask yourself that next time you think veterans shouldn't receive healthcare or disability after their service is complete.
    • Conscription..... this one is going to be controversial so buckle up.... I think every VOTING American should be required to contribute to the nation as a whole. This does not necessarily mean military service although this is inside of my "defense" bullet. But think about it for just a moment. If you first two years out of high school you were required to contribute to the public good, either through military service or through social service. You could be a bus driver, firefighter, work for public parks, or for your county. There are infinite ways to serve your local community. You serve your community, draw a reasonable paycheck, learn a skill, and earn the right to vote. You are giving back to the society that you are a member of and getting a skill and a couple of years to mature before being sent off into the world on your own. We could tie education benefits to this in a similar fashion to the way the military does. If you give two years to public service then you get two years of state college paid for....If you decide that you absolutely do not want to contribute to your nation then that is fine, we will not arrest you or revoke your citizenship, you just will not be afforded the opportunity to have an opinion on policy as you have no skin in the game. You don't get to vote until you contribute.
• Foreign policy
  • Russia - They are bullies.... We have been the world police since the end of WW2 and this needs to change. Every country needs to take some ownership of its own sovereignty, however, like the comics say "With great power, comes great responsibility." We, as the dominant world power, have an obligation to balance the scales. Russia needs to stop picking on the weak and if the weak cannot defend themselves then it is our obligation to assist them but that does not mean that we need to fight the battle for them. Ukraine has done a great job of standing up for itself but the rest of Europe needs to continue to provide support in this war if they care about the outcome. End of the day, Russia is a dying country and we only really need to wait them out. We should not buy their exports, we should not sell them our exports, and we should make it very clear that we will evaluate our relationship with any country that does not feel the same way we do.
  • China - They WERE a rising power. China is doing its best to continue to the illusion that they are rising to the top but at the end of the day they do not have the internal infrastructure or resources to become the dominant world power. They would like the world to view them as pacifists but in reality, they are antagonists. Their actions within the "9-dash line" make it very clear what they want. They want security. Once they have that security then they want influence. But they cannot possibly hold that security or influence for very long if they continue to be opposed in their values to the USA and our allies. USA, Japan, and Australia alone pose a significant challenge to China's power for as long as we remain united. That does not even factor in the other allies that the US has in the region like the Philippines, or India who both pose significant defense challenges to CCP. Our policy towards China should be "Play nice or you don't get to play at all." This policy will be painful for us as we may have to pay more for some of our consumer goods but it will be even more painful for them if they do not play along. We hold all the cards for as long as we are willing to sacrifice just a little. The POTUS should just be honest with us and we will as a nation, will understand. "We will have to pay more for some things but in the long run the world will be better off because we held strong to our ideals and the world will be a more fair place."
  • Ukraine - Happy to send them aid but that aid should have an audit. Let's make sure that the money and equipment we are sending them is going to the place we intend for it to be sent. Seems pretty reasonable to me.
  • NATO - NATO is necessary until the remnants of the USSR are completely destroyed... but the other members of NATO need to hold up their end of the bargain and POTUS needs to hold Europe's feet to the fire until they pony up what they agreed to. End of the day the USA's sovereignty does not need NATO to exist to remain whole. We have all the resources we need and are well-defended. There is no need for us to defend them for the sake of trade anymore. NATO needs us more than we need them so if they would like to continue to receive the benefits of our alliance then they need to make it worth our while and it's POTUS's job to ensure that happens.

There are a lot of other policies that we can go through here and no POTUS is going to have all the answers (that's why he or she needs a strong cabinet). I hope that there is some discussion started here... but at the end of the day.... the two candidates that we are likely looking at are both unfit. We deserve some quality candidates and not the old crazy reality TV star and the Old washed-up politician with a terrible VP. Give me someone reasonable to vote for, please!

"Master Microsoft Office: Unlock Your Productivity Potential with the Complete Bundle by Kenji Farre & Michael Quach"

Introduction:
The Complete Microsoft Office Bundle By Kenji Farre & Michael Quach offers a comprehensive and in-depth learning experience for individuals seeking to master the essential tools of Microsoft Office. In this SWOT analysis, we will examine the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats associated with this course bundle.
Strengths:

1. Comprehensive Content: The bundle covers all major Microsoft Office applications, including Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, and Access, providing learners with a well-rounded education in office productivity.
   
2. Expert Instructors: Kenji Farre & Michael Quach bring extensive experience and expertise in Microsoft Office, ensuring high-quality instruction and guidance throughout the course.
   
3. Hands-on Learning: The course emphasizes practical application through interactive exercises and projects, allowing learners to develop real-world skills.
   
4. Self-Paced Learning: The bundle provides flexibility, allowing individuals to learn at their own pace and revisit materials whenever needed.
   

Weaknesses:

1. Limited Interactivity: While the course incorporates hands-on exercises, the lack of live instructor interaction may limit immediate feedback and clarification for learners.
   
2. Intermediate to Advanced Level: The course may not be suitable for absolute beginners, as it assumes a basic understanding of Microsoft Office applications.
   

Opportunities:

1. Professional Advancement: The mastery of Microsoft Office is highly valued in the job market, and completing this bundle can enhance career prospects and open doors to new opportunities.
   
2. Increased Productivity: Learning efficient ways to utilize Microsoft Office can significantly improve productivity in various personal and professional tasks.
   
3. Skill Diversification: The bundle enables learners to acquire a diverse set of skills, making them versatile and adaptable in today's digital workplace.
   

Threats:

1. Evolving Technological Landscape: As technology continues to advance, Microsoft Office may face competition from alternative office productivity tools and cloud-based solutions.

Conclusion:
The Complete Microsoft Office Bundle By Kenji Farre & Michael Quach offers a robust learning opportunity for individuals looking to master Microsoft Office applications. While it boasts comprehensive content and expert instruction, learners should be aware of its intermediate to advanced level and limited interactivity. By capitalizing on the opportunities presented, learners can enhance their professional profiles and increase their productivity. However, they should also stay vigilant regarding evolving technology and software updates in the ever-changing digital landscape.
The Complete Microsoft Office Bundle, Kenji Farre, Michael Quach, Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats

Babaganoush: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…
Crowd: One fall!
And is for… the WiR Television Championship! Already in the ring, the challenger, weighing in at 235 pounds, The Suuuuuuperstar!
Banaganoush: And Already in the ring, the champion, “Guaranteed, Gabe Garvin!”
Ding Ding Ding!
Mann: And the bell rings here, and we are back underway at Sound Off! Presented by Dexter Flux.
The Superstar does a little spin as he approaches Gabe Garvin and the two back off from each other. The two wrestlers stare down a moment, before launching at each other with a collar and elbow tie-up. The Superstar gains the upper hand and locks Garvin in a headlock. Garvin, in a headlock, however, gets pushed into the ropes, where he gets pushed away. Garvin looks for a back body drop as The Superstar bounces off the ropes, but eats a boot for his trouble. Garvin tries to regain control by lifting Superstar on his shoulders, Superstar shifts back to the ground, but gets lifted and dropped on his chest! The Superstar is forced to roll out of the ring to recover.
Crowd: [Apathetic Silence]
Garvin goes under the bottom rope and gets quickly caught with a kick to the stomach. The Superstar throws Garvin into the barricade and begins to hammer away.
Woodbridge: And The Superstar turning things around here!
Mann: And folks, we’ll be back after these messages from our sponsors!
Woodbridge: Why are we going to commercial, the match just st-
The following advertisement plays
We fade back into the action with a crowd shot, which stays longer than comfortable on a shot of 40 apathetic fans. As it cuts back to the ring, we see Gabe Garvin deliver a vertical suplex to The Superstar, before going to a pin that convinces nobody of its success.
Mann: And we are back here at Sound Off! Garvin has regained control here!
The Superstar rolls to the corner and forces a momentary break. As the ref tries to restore order, The Superstar throws an overhand shot at Garvin- who blocks it and responds in kind, backing the Superstar back into the corner, and whipping him across the ring. As Superstar bounces off with a thud, Garvin hits the ropes beside him and hits a bulldog. Garvin goes for a cover, which gets a…
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
The Superstar flops into the corner once more, and Garvin is halted from pulling him away by the official. As The Superstar exits the corner, Garvin is right back on top of him, whips him off the ropes, and delivers a back body drop! The Superstar rolls out of the ring once more, but Garvin follows in pursuit. Garvin charges in, but gets caught with a drop-toe hold, and crashes into the announce table.
Mann: Watch out!
Woodbridge: Garvin seeking to capitalize on his newfound momentum here…
Crowd: [Does not care]
The Superstar throws Garvin back into the squared circle, and delivers a club to the back of his head, Followed by stomps and a knee drop. Superstar waits for Garvin to try and get back up, before stomping again, followed by a punch. As Garvin powers back to his feet, The Superstar looks to grab him, but Garvin pulls him in for a belly-to-belly suplex! Superstar shuffles into the corner, followed by Garvin, who eats a boot for his trouble before The Superstar storms out with a lariat. The Superstar looks for a chin lock, but Garvin is too oily, and he slips free. Superstar retaliates for this oily transgression with a fist and applies a headlock to a cornered Garvin.
Mann: And The Superstar getting some offense here, Garvin is in trouble! Can our TV champion save the match?
The Superstar works the headlock in the corner until the ref forces a break, at which juncture The Superstar turns around and throws his fists at Garvin. Following this, The Superstar lifts Garvin to his feet and goes for a whip, but as Garvin hits the other turnbuckle, he lifts his left foot to kick an incoming Superstar! As Garvin looks to capitalize, The Superstar grabs the leg that kicked him and takes Garvin down to the mat. Superstar drops an elbow on Garvin’s knee, and a second elbow, before looking for a knee twist, which Garvin pushes away from.
Mann: And Garvin fends off the Superstar’s onslaught! What a heroic effort by our TV Champion!
Crowd: [awkward silence]
Garvin sells his injured knee for a moment, before using it to pull a charging Superstar down with a drop-toe hold, flip Superstar over, and try to apply a submission, but this time, The Superstar pushes Garvin away! The Superstar delivers an elbow to a staggered Garvin, before delivering a Russian leg sweep, and going for a cover.
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
The Superstar is in disbelief that his leg sweep failed to get the victory, and he pulls Superstar by the arm, before kicking his downed body in the rib. Garvin throws himself off the ground to throw a punch at Superstar’s gut, but as he gets up, he is once again cut off by a clothesline, and a pin attempt.
ONE
TWO
Kickout.
Crowd: [Apathetic, a smattering of boos, and a single portly fan in a Shooting Association shirt attempting to start a “boring” chant]
Woodbridge: The Superstar is unable to get the best of Garvin despite some strong offense here, and the longer this goes on, the more I like the TV Champion’s chances in this match.
Mann: And all the Garvinites in the crowd cheering for their hero to make a comeback!!
Crowd shot of bored audience quickly pans back to the ring, where The Superstar is applying an arm wringer
Mann: And this match of course is presented by our sponsors, over at Mann Corporation!
The Superstar transitions to a half camel clutch, still clutching the arm of Garvin
Mann: Mann Corporation is committed to providing high-quality products to all of our loyal customers! Use code “WiR” at checkout for 3.5% off select items at MannCoStore.com!
The Superstar has transitioned into a standing headlock
Mann: If you buy within the next 7 minutes, all Gabe Garvin merchandise is 10% off! Act fast! And now, back to the action!
Garvin powers out of the headlock and whips The Superstar into a corner. He charges in, and misses, as The Superstar moves out of the way, and attempts to lock in another arm wringer. Garvin tries to power out but fails, and the hold is applied.
Superstar: ASK HIM!
Garvin does not submit, and once again tries to lift himself upwards. Superstar sees this, and shifts so that he is lying down on the back of Garvin, still applying the arm wringer. Garvin winces in agony and reaches for the rope with his free hand. Unable to reach them, Garvin Begins to power himself upwards for the third time, and this one is successful, as he slowly works his way up to his feet, Superstar now trapped in the air in a fireman’s carry. The Superstar pushes himself off as Garvin gets to his feet, and tries to throw a punch. Trying to reclaim the momentum, The Superstar goes for an Irish whip, and looks for a dropkick as Garvin returns, but to no avail! Garvin holds onto the rope, and The Superstar crashes back to the ground.
Mann: And Garvin escaping the hold! Superstar is dazed!
Woodbridge: And this could be the opening the TV Champion needs to regain control of this match! The Superstar is in trouble, as Gabe is Garving up!
Mann: It’s Garvin’ time!
Garvin bounds off the ropes and leaps for a flying clothesline!
Mann: What a maneuver!
Garvin hits the ropes again, and nails a staggered Superstar with another flying clothesline! The Superstar writhes in agony as he tries to pull himself back to a standing base, where Garvin is waiting for him. Garvin bounces off the ropes, and nails a rising Superstar with a shoulder block.
Mann: Vintage Garvin! And he has the upper hand! The fans here on their feet!
Crowd: [Silent, sitting down]
Garvin ascends to the second rope, and as a wounded Superstar ascends once more, he leaps for a double ax handle, but nobody is home! The Superstar looks to capitalize with a DDT, but it gets blocked by Garvin, who fights out, throws Superstar against the ropes, and hits another shoulder block. With The Superstar down, Garvin looks at the crowd, backs against the ropes, and hits a fist drop!
One guy in the crowd Crowd: YEEEAAAH WE FUCKIN LOVE THE FIST DROP YEEEEAAHHH
Crowd: WOOO!! GAR-VIN! GAR-VIN!
Woodbridge: And the people exploding for Garvin’s fist drop! (?)
Garvin looks almost surprised at the suddenly raucous crowd, and motions for his finishing maneuver! As soon as he indicates he isn’t going for another fist drop, the crowd dies and goes back to their silence. Superstar stumbles to his feet, gets his arm trapped, and’s he’s lifted into the air, before being slammed down with a Pump Handle Slam! Garvin goes into the cover…
ONE
TWO
THREE!
DING DING DING!!
Mann: And Gabe Garvin retains!
Woodbridge: His victory was all but Garunteed
Babaganouh: And here is your winner, at a time of Seven minutes and Forty-Five seconds… Garunteed Gaaaaaabeeeeee Gaaaaarviiiin!!
Crowd [Scant Murmors]
Mann: And tonight we have seen a truly memorable title defense from our heroic TV Champion, Gabe Garvin. And to watch all of Garvin’s matches from the comfort of your home, go to WWW dot Wrestle Is Reddit dot com slash Garvin for all the latest updates! And a special thanks to our sponsor for this show, JDate!
The monitor shows Dexter Flux on screen, who immediately gets a crowd pop 10x louder than anything of the past 7:45
Crowd: FLUX! FLUX! FLUX! WE LOVE FLUX!
Flux: I'm not… I'm not Jewish, but that's really not what JDate is about. It's about like… dating. JDate is what JDate is. That's what it is. I'm Dexter Flux. I'm the President of the United States. Thank you for your service.
The monitor cuts back to the crowd going bananas for Flux. A guy is screaming and beating the shit out of the old woman sitting next to him because he loves Dexter Flux so much.
Mann: And you too can be just like these happy people if you buy a Gabe Garvin T-Shirt, now 4% off at select TJ Maxx stores near you!
Garvin holds up his title on the apron while the crowd cheer for Flux, and a photographer gets a photo of the victorious champion in front of a cheering crowd. As Garvin gets down from Bret’s rope, the camera cuts to…
Something else. It's shot differently, worse cameras that pan around instead of cut. No commentary. No acknowledgment. It's a documentary shoved in the middle of a wrestling show.
We're in a church basement, or a community gym, or something like that, with hardwood floors and dim, white light pouring in through windows near the top of the room. There's a table next to the door with a coffee machine and paper cups and a door to the outside propped open, so people can step out to smoke. A voice speaks up.
Teddy (O.S.): I don't think I've ever been a good person.
We move to the middle of the room. There's a circle of people sitting in chairs, looking at one whose face is obscured but whose voice most WiR diehards recognize. The circle's watching him carefully, skeptically. A couple of them glance at the camera as it moves by, which seems like an outsider - a perverse interloper. Some of them are recognizable, heels from all over the wrestling scene. Most of them seem miserable to be here, unrepentant. One figure, dressed up, seems more warm in his posture, but we don't see his face either.
Teddy (O.S.): I don't think I've ever really tried, I mean. I've been a good guy, for a little bit. Here and there. But I wasn't who I was. I was somebody trying to get cheered, trying to make sure they loved me. And when they didn't, I just… I snapped.
Finally, we see him, the object of their attentions. He is sitting in a chair, dressed down in a t-shirt, paper cup of coffee by his feet. Teddy Coronado. There's no charisma to the way he speaks. He was a preacher once, electrifying, manic, an embodiment of television airwaves. Now, he's mumbling. The camera zooms in on his face, as he tried to put together the next few words, shaking his head. The words seem ridiculous to say and maybe that's because they're wrestling words and this man - sitting here, in the basement - does not seem to be a wrestler.
Teddy: I'm Teddy Coronado and… Sorry. I'm Teddy and I'm a heel.
Others (all together): Hi, Teddy.
He cringes at them.
Teddy: I've been…
He stops, sucking on his tongue. It's the noise of a crowd, again.
Teddy: I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this.
Spence (O.S.): It's alright.
The camera pans over to a much more shocking face, Spence Cooper, dressed like a normal person, with a buttoned-up v-neck, instead of his usual attire as one half of the Golden State Stars, wearing mesh shirts and whatever nonsense is left. The rest of the group turns to him with a sort of reverence that seems wholly unfitting for him.
Spence: This is hard stuff, Teddy, alright - this is hard stuff, everybody. I mean, when I was a member of the Golden State Stars-
Chaz (O.S): GOLDEN! STATE! ST-
Spence: Chaz.
We whip pan to Chaz Levine, who is also there. He is dressed less like a normal person.
Chaz: Sorry, bro, still working on it.
Spence: We all have hiccups, is what I was saying. This is hard work. That's why not everybody does it. But it's good work. You've been here for a long time, right?
He's staring at the ground as he said it, as if ashamed.
Teddy: Six months.
Spence: Six months and it's still hard. That should show to everyone else here that even the best of us You can do it, Teddy. You can say it.
Teddy takes a breath, tries to put it together. After a few seconds, he looks back up. And it's almost there. That spark, that fire in his eyes.
Teddy: I've… been thinking about things, recently. I've been thinking about my time as a wrestler. I've done a lot of things in this business - and I'm not bragging about that, but I'm saying it because I need to say it. I was the best guy on the mic for a long time. I was good in the ring, too. I beat some of the best people in that company and sometimes I even did it clean.
There's a chuckle at that, in the room, and he gives a rueful smile, for a second, looking back on everything. Then it fades. So does the light in his eyes. Teddy looks at his feet, again, but the rest of them are listening, now. Most of them hate this place, but they listen
Teddy: I lied, I cheated, I stole. I used every dirty fucking trick in the book - you can look. My granddad wrote it. I used weapons. I hired my own ref. I made my own matches. I attacked people from behind the scenes. I once wrestled with a cardboard cut-out, so I could move its torn-off foot under the bottom rope to get a break.
He's looking up, now, and the fire isn't in his eyes, but it's in his words.
Teddy: I gave up everything for that title, for those accolades, for those year-end awards, for my hand raised up at the end of the night. I've got a claim to being the best champion in that company's history. I went into this business looking for all of that. I said to myself that I'd be different than my family, from my great-grandfather, from my grandfather, from my…
He stops. He leaves the final word unsaid.
Teddy: But that's not what I'm saying. I had the chance to change my name. I had a shitty start, but I had my own agency. What I did was my own. And by the end, I gave up that. I gave up my decency, my integrity, my dedication to this art, I gave up everything I have - and I don't have anything to show for it.
There's a crippling silence, for a few moments, the kind of silence you only notice when everything felt so loud before it.
Teddy: I don't talk to any of the roster I was a part of. My name doesn't get mentioned in promos. The fans - the fans that used to jeer my name, who serenaded me after I was forced out of that company - they don't think about me. I gave up everything I ever had and I don't…
He takes a shallow breath, emotional, seeming to hold back tears as he rubs his temples. A man offers him a tissue box but he waves it aside. For as much pride as he has managed to put aside, he can't allow himself to cry in front of the only people he's ever been genuine to.
Teddy: I got an offer, recently. You guys know about it.
Teddy half-heartedly gestures at the camera and a couple of them glance back at it. Chaz, on the edge of frame, flexes a little bit when reminded a camera is watching him.
Teddy: I got an offer to come back to WiR. They're coming back, apparently, again. They've offered me a couple times, over the years, and I almost took it. I even said I would, once, before. Back when I still had the bookstore. And then I started training and I became what I was, again, and I gave up the bookstore, and I was so fucked up I couldn't even make it to the show, because I realized, in that ring…
He pauses and they're all listening. He hates that, because he knows why they're listening and why he's talking. Because the fire, suddenly, is there. It's there in his eyes. It's there in his voice. It's there in the way he sits in that chair, the knotting his hands do as he talks, but most of all it's there in the crowd, listening with rapt attention.
Teddy: There's the Teddy Coronado with the money, with the television show, with the betrayal and the burials, even the Teddy who dressed up like a dentist and said he hated bullies. They say I've been a lot of people, had a lot of gimmicks, but the trick is they're all the same one. They're all somebody who needs to have the whole world know that they're the best. But they're all masks. Facades. And when I got into that ring, lit by halogen lights, no one in the audience, no one facing me in that ring, no one there but me, I realized the truth.
The fire in his voice has burned away and, now, he speaks in ashes: harsh, more serious than he's ever been, and more painful. He is being true.
Teddy: I don't know what's beneath those masks. I don't. A part of me is terrified that there isn't anything there. That the shit I've done, to other people, to the industry as a whole, that's who I am. I've tried to find out who it is, out here. I tried to open a bookstore, I tried to become a trainer, I tried to get as far away from that ring as possible.
He stops, again. The crowd is fully drawn in, now, and a furrowed brow of concern on Spence's face breaks through the mask of supportiveness.
Teddy: But, when I got that email, that offer… I think I realized that there's only one way for me to figure that out-
Spence: Teddy…
Teddy turns his eyes to Spence, but there's a weariness to his eyes. He's already made up his mind. He made it up before he even entered this room, before he even entered the cameras in, before Spence even says the thing he knows he's about to say.
Spence: Teddy, I know what you're about to say. And I want to tell you in front of the group, because I know you don't want there to be secrets here. I've been lured that way. We all have, but you have to know that there is a risk to what you're about to say. Some people can recover, can re-enter that ring, Teddy, but some people can't.
There is a warmth in Spence's eyes that make you realize that this is not the same man that was a Golden State Star. Not anymore. But he knows that he can't change his mind.
Spence: This is in your hands, Teddy. It always is.
Teddy sits there, genuinely considering the words and then he smiles. Knows how absurd what he's about to say is. And then he speaks, just as resolute as before. No. More so.
Teddy: I know. But I hear it in me. I hear the roar of the crowd, with me or against me. I hear my opponent's music hit. I hear the bending of the mat, the straining of the ropes, the fight. I know that who I was in there was a monster. But I know that, if there's something of me left, beneath all of this, it's in there.
He stands up.
Teddy: This is what I'm choosing to do, Spence. I'm sorry.
Teddy walks out of the circle, across the hardwood floor, and steps out the door. The camera doesn't follow.
Javier (O.S.): Ladies and gentlemen, the Independent Champion, Diiiiiiiiick Dover!
We cut back to Knott's Berry Farm, where the crowd reacts in a mixed fashion to the announcement of Dick Dover. Prisoner of Society hits, and Dick Dover walks through the curtain with the Independent Championship over his shoulder.
Mann: The Independent Champion enters the building, he says he has an announcement to make.
Woodbridge: That’s right, Shay. We don’t know what it’s going to be, but when Dover walked into the venue this afternoon, he insisted on addressing the crowd.
Dover grabs a mic from Maurice Chondon ringside, then walks up the stairs, wipes his feet on the apron, and enters the ring. He then turns to face the crowd.
Dover: I know you all have a lot of thoughts about me, but let’s get one thing clear right now. There’s been a lot of time gone by since you last saw me. But don’t get me wrong, one thing wouldn’t have changed no matter how long we’ve been apart. I am still your Independent Champion.
Crowd: mix of boos and applause
Dover: But there have been changes. Changes in the world and changes with myself, and it’s time for me to share with you all some changes I’ve made. When WiR went on hiatus i-
Nitroglycerin hits as Joey McCarty storms out from behind the curtain holding a mic.
Crowd: Boooooooooo
McCarty: No no no no no no fuck this shit. I know what this is. I’m not stupid.
McCarty stomps down to the ring.
McCarty: Dick, you’ve talked all this talk about being a fighting champion, but I know a retirement announcement when I see one.
McCarty slides into the ring and pops up to his feet, pacing around Dover.
McCarty: and you must be out of your mind to think you can walk out of here title held high, to a cheering crowd, and go out as champion. You’re out of your goddamn mind.
Dover walks towards McCarty.
Dover: You don’t even-
McCarty: Save it, honestly. I came into this business as an outsider, and I was given the crash course. I don’t know where you learned this, it might have been in dogwater Florida, but it certainly wasn’t in Toronto.
Dover: Joey, you’ll shut the hell up if you know what’s good for you.
McCarty: What I was taught is that you always go out on your back. If you won’t do that, then I’ll do that for you.
Dover goes to talk, but McCarty slaps him.
McCarty: So what you’re going to do right now, is lie down, stare at the lights, and you can end your career the way you’re supposed to, and watch me coronate myself as a triple crown champion.
Dover: Interesting point Joey, counterpoint:
Dover hits McCarty with a spinning back elbow, sending him to the mat!
Dover: You don’t tell me what to fucking do. So here’s what we’re actually going to do, I’m going to show these people I am a fighting champion, we’re going to get a ref out here, and I’m going to whoop your ass
Crowd: YAYYYYY
Mann: HOLD ON A SECOND, DOVER. YOU DON’T GET TO PROMISE PEOPLE MATCHES, I MAKE THE MATCHES but that is a good idea so lets get a ref out here BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Crowd (a little more confused): YAYYY
Jeff Boone sprints out from backstage at full speed and dives headfirst under the rope into the ring.
Boone: ALRIGHTWEGOTAREGULARCHAMPIONSHIPMATCHONEFALLLET’SKEEPITCLEANBOYSNOCLOSEDKNUCKLESONPUNCHESNOHAIRPULLINGIWON’THAVEANYNONSENSEINTHISRINGYOUHEREMEOKRINGTHEBELL
The bell rings, leaving both men a little stunned at how quickly this match has started. Joey moves into action first, lurching for Dover, arms outstretched in a clear indication that Joey wants to initiate a classic “Test of Strength.” Dick Dover knocks away the hands and shoots for a double-leg takedown, sending Joey sprawling to the mat.
Mann: Wow, an incredibly technical start for Dover. Sometimes I think we forget home in depth his wrestling knowhow is.
Dick Dover is slowly overpowering Joey from underneath, when a glint shines in the Canadian’s eyes. A brutal knee to the face erupts from McCarty, slamming into Dover’s nose. Dover steps back, covering his damaged face. Blood begins to drip onto the mat.
Woodbridge: Wow, Dover is absolutely busted up!
Paisner: That’s the opportunistic streak of McCarty showing. Give him an inch, he’ll take a mile and sell you back the inch for triple it’s market value.
Dover shakes his head, trying to clear up the fog inflicted from Joey’s move. Before he gets a chance to recover, Joey is behind him, snaking his arms up to lock Dover in a full nelson. Dover is in a precarious position, but he digs his fingers into Joey’s eyes, cause the hold to release.
Woodbridge: A savvy veteran move, but is it legal?
Mann: Absolutely not. It seems like this ref is going to let them play on, for some reason. Very hands off.
Woodbridge: When you’ve got two fighters who will do whatever it takes to win, sometimes it’s best to just let them go at it. Anything less than that could give the other an unfair advantage.
Dover throws a couple quick strikes to McCarty’s midsection. Joey winces and bends over, giving Dick the opportunity to hit him with a Leg Drop Bulldog that pounds Joey into the mat!
Crowd: WOOOOAH!
Dover capitalizes on McCarty’s grounded position, dropping some falling elbows into the fallen man. But the third elbow doesn’t land cleanly, given Joey the opportunity to flip over and nail another knee into Dover, this time right on the side of his head.
Mann: Hard to imagine these headshots won’t have an effect on Dover if this match goes long.
A quick leap to his feet, and Joey finally has the position he wanted in the beginning, locking up Dover in a contested full collar tie. He gains the upper hand, and begins controlling Dover towards the corner. A grasp of Dover’s wounded head, and then suddenly McCarty is rubbing Dover’s face all over the ringpost!
Crowd: OOOF
But Dover isn’t one to take something like this without fighting back. A wild leg flail nails McCarty right in the gonads, sending him backwards in pain. The ref looks to step in, but then decides not to as Dover runs towards his and lands an uppercut into lariat combo that sends Joey back down to the ground. Dover attempts a cover!
1!
No!
Joey kicks out with relative ease, prompting Dover to consider more violence towards the grounded wrestler.
Mann: What could this devilish man be considering next?
Dover sits on McCarty.
Woodbridge: A chair!
A quick pivot from Dover, and suddenly Joey is up in the air, face in anguish from the inverted surfboard stretch.
Woodbridge: A painful chair!
Suddenly, a voice rings out from the crowd.
Random Fan: DOVER IS STILL LAME!
Dover, mildly irritated by the fan, releases the hold on Joey, sending the stretched out man to the mat. He gets up and aggressively points to the crowd in the direction of the mysterious fan.
Dover: Hey Asshole! You wanna see lame? I’ll show you lame!
Dover grabs Joey’s hair and becomes slamming punches into the downed man’s face.
Crowd: LAME DOVER LAME DOVER LAME DOVER
A frustrated Dover now releases the hold and turns his back on Joey, heading over to the ringpost. He begins to remove the cover. At this point, blood has completely covered his chest. Joey stirs and stands, sneaking up to behind Dover. A quick snatch and Joey has surprise rolled up Dover for a pin!
1!
2!
No!
Dover kicks out and gets back to his feet, but Joey is quicker and grabs Dover’s arm for an irish whip, sending him into the exposed ring post!* The hard metal digs into the small of Dover’s back and he reels in pain, back into Joey who snags his wrist, twisting it into a hold. Dover is up in the air and slammed back onto his neck as Joey lands a modified Fisherman Driver on the champion!
Crowd: OOOOOHHHHH!!!!
It’s Joey’s turn to batter the grounded Dover, repeatedly sending soccer kicks into his skull. The dull sound of bone against flesh carries through the arena in a way that makes most attendees uncomfortable. Joey lifts Dover to his feet, intending to whip him into the exposed ring post again, but Dover has seen this before. He counters with a reversal, sending McCarty into the ropes, McCarty rebounds and Dover SLAMS him into the mat with a teeth-rattling spinebuster!
Crowd: YAYYYYY
Mann: I’m not sure if Dover’s winning the crowd over or if they just enjoy seeing Joey get hurt, either way, Dover is red-hot!
Dover grabs McCarty, and goes into the set up for his Doverleaf! But before he can, a small figure pops up onto the apron.
Woodbridge: WOAH, WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?!
Gigi appears holding a spray bottle and she sprays a fine clear mist right into Dover’s eyes and cackles maniacally!
Mann: What’s this?! It's Gigi! And she’s just assaulted Dover with some sort of liquid!
Dover drops McCarty and grabs at his eyes. Kaitlyn Casey Jones appears from the crowd, holding a sign that says “GAMER GIRL BATHWATER $279.69”, she hops the barricade and grabs a mic, laughing with Gigi. Jones pulls a card out of her pocket and starts reading it.
KCJ: Hey faaaans, if you’re looking to order some of the water that our favorite e-girl actually bathes in, it’s up on the website right now! Guaranteed to have touched Gigi’s skin, go to www.gigigamergirlgush.pizza for more details. Fuck you, Dick!”
Gigi: I wrote that last part.
McCarty clambers to his feet, confused. He notices Dover staggering, and launches himself into the air, connecting with a superman punch to the back of Dover’s skull.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: BERTUZZI! DOVER’S OUT COLD
Woodbridge: I can’t believe this, Dover’s had the title stolen from him!
McCarty scrambles to cover Dover.
1
2
3-NO
Crowd: WOAAAAAH YAYYY
Mann: Dover kicked out!
Woodbridge: How!?!?
McCarty stumbles to the corner in disbelief, and collapses into a seated position onto the bottom turnbuckle, the crowd swells, and McCarty’s confounded expression turns to disbelief and then to anger, he pops to his feet and stomps towards Dover.
Woodbridge: What do either of these men have left in the bag?!
McCarty lifts Dover to his feet, cussing him out as he does. McCarty attempts his Bus Driver Uppercut, but Dover springs to life and catches him, and PLANTS him with a kneeling jawbreaker!
Mann: Cliffs of Dover!
Woodbridge: From the last of his energy!
Mann: Cover!
1
2
3
DING DING DING
Crowd: YAYYYYY!
Mann: Dover is still Independent Champion!
Before Javier can make the announcement, Gigi and KCJ hit the ring and attack Dover, as McCarty rolls out of the ring, jumping him and punching and kicking Dover while he’s down.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO
Woodbridge: What the hell is this?!
Mann: Gigi still thinks she’s owed a shot at the Independent Championship, she must have made some sort of deal with McCarty to get her match!
Woodbridge: And now that her plan is up in smoke, she’s taking it out on Dover!
Gigi and KCJ continue their assault, KCJ picks up the mic and is about to speak, but before she can, Adam Raised A Cain plays.
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYY
Woodbridge: Someone else with unfinished business, Mark Dutch!
Mark Dutch runs out, Joey McCarty is standing on the ramp, and Dutch shoulder checks him out of the way! Dutch then slides into the ring, and pulls KCJ off of Dover and out of the ring! Gigi scrambles out of the ring away from Dutch.
Mann: Last time we saw these two, they were at eachothers throats, but now Dutch comes to save Dover? What’s going on?
Woodbridge: Looks like there's still lots of unfinished business around these parts.
Mann: That’s enough of this.
Mann grabs a stick mic and attempts to stand on the commentary table, but it wobbles so he instead stands on his chair
Mann: When I brought this company back, it wasn’t for what it was, but what it can become, so I can’t have you three stinking up the joint with old beef, so let’s settle this at the next show. You three for the Independent Title. a brief pause to let that sink in
Crowd: WOOOOOOO
Mann sits back down with a grin on his face.
Mann: I like this “making matches live” thing
Woodbridge: Could stand to work on your crowd work though.
Mann: More WiR action, after this!
Dover, Dutch and Gigi staring eachother down as we fade out to commercial.

I have purchased a 1992 jeep wrangler 5 speed 4.0. I have known the jeeps different owners off and on for 15 years or so (it has been bought and sold by friends, acquaintances and strangers) the most recent whom I know, and trust, had the cylinders bored .02 over and suggested I upgrade the radiator as it runs a bit warmer now.
Is this a recommended upgrade?
Bonus question. It also has a 2” suspension lift and goes through u joints more than it should. Is an extended driveline or a lowered transfer case the best solution?
Thank you!

Just smoked a joint so f it.. I’ll tell my story. Around this time last year I had a lump sum of money (10k) and tried to be different and invest it in 2 used jeep wranglers (lifted with tires too) jeep 1 127k miles $29,000 -12% intrest Note $700 insurance $125…yes I know the miles where nice but it had the lift kit, nice wheels, super awesome aftermarket sound system with 2 subwoofers… so yeah I felt it was worth it. Jeep 2 - 97k miles $28,000 12% intrest note $500 a month(only had the lift kit and the wheels everything else was basic. Here’s where I really f’d up. The second jeep wasn’t doing to good so I took out a loan (10k originally 4k) for upgrades such as new rims, front & back bumper and sound system. I had 90 days to pay the 4K with 0 percent interest and silly me didn’t so the loan went from 4k to 10k and I was making $600 a month payments for that(yeah I don’t know wtf I was thinking). So all to have $700, $600, $500, $125, $125 = $2,050 I have to pay(not including my regular life bills) just in businesses overhead. But me trying to stick with something and be consistent told myself I’ll work through it. Any listed the cars and right of back jeep 1 starts getting book almost every other day bringing in $900 to $1300 a month and I’m like fuck this is cool and it’s actually working. Jeep 2 barleys does anything (I think color plays a very important part of how much your car gets rented out, jeep 1 was black and slick, jeep 2 was a ugly ass turquoise greenish blue that’s why I got the up grades thinking it’ll do even better then the other 1) that decision to get those upgrade was probably my biggest mistake I was already going to struggle with things that extra $600 a month kilt me and my wallet. Oh but back to the Turo story first 3 months goes super good for jeep 1, jeep 2 picks up a little ($500 a month)but not enough to cover cost. But without the upgrades I would’ve been just breaking even if I was able to make that $500 a month. Both jeeps were priced a $70 plus a day. Right before thanks giving weekend we’re I could’ve gotten at $125 a day someone steal the black jeep. A lady books the jeep and let’s this guy she barley knows drive it and he never returns. He told the lady he would pay her bills half off if she books a car for him and silly her went for it. She help me find his older brother and we get the car back a week later crashed up radio ripped out 8k worth of damage so the car sat for 3 months waiting for parts and repairs while 2k worth or bills kept coming. Now I’m down to 1 car that’s barley doing anything so all my work checks where going into this business shit felt like an impossible whole to get out of. Was lucky enough to get a few settlements that helped me stay above water but a few months later I was right back under water and the jeep tie rod comes the whole repair would be $900 to fix and I’m already behind on the car note that was the last straw for me I had to f the business because it wasn’t making sense. Maybe if I had guidance from someone who was already doing it I would’ve made better choices but now I’m filing for chapter 7 bankruptcy to get rid of both the cars and loan and on top of all this I had about 20k worth of Cc dept after filing and seeing the paper work that showed me I had 109k worth of debt and has $3400 a month worth of bills with nothing to show for it made me really want to get my shit together and do things 10 times smarter like save up a lump sum of money before financing anything. BUGETTING will be my biggest know exactly what u have coming in and what you can afford to go out. With just my work checks %90 of my money was going to bill I only had a extra $200 a month for myself. Now that I know this if I was to event get back into I would only do it with luxury vehicles just because your dealing with a different type of clientele any damage to your car will get fixed with no hassle I also think Turo takes way to much. I know for a fact they take more then what they tell you. If you’ve ever asked a customer how much they paid it’ll be very different from the receipt Turo shows you….. yes I know there’s probably some Grammer errors but I’m fried so you know wtf I’m tryna say!!!!!!! Any question ask away

--- The Dream ---
Mia woke up to a noise in the basement she was not sure if she should go or not she was very scared to leave her room she got out of bed and got up and creeped to the door she quitly opened the door and looked out to see if there was anything out in the hallway as she walked to the stairs she seen the light on in the kitchen and she went quitly downstairs mia went and seen that the refrigerator was open there was blood in the refrigerator and intestines hanging from the shelf she was getting scared she didn't know what was happening she herd the noise in the basement as she went to the basement she seen that the light was on and that nobody was there she looked and had found a blood trail to the table in the back near the washer and dryer and she went to the table she seen a clear box on the table as she went and opened the lid to the clear box and she seen that it was filled with blood as she looked in the box she picked up the big wooden spoon next to the clear box and put the spoon in and stired and as she did Mia's head floated to the top as she screamed she turned around and seen a gir with a pumpkin smile she fell backwards and covered her face with her arms.
---- Awake ----
Mia woke up and was drenched in sweat she had a fearfully look on her face and did not know what to do she stayed up for the rest of the night beacuse she was afraid to go back to sleep she got up and went to her desk and turned on the light and got her art pencils and started to draw what she seen in her nightmare

It looked so real that she put it in a frame and Mia turned on the TV and watched M.A.S.H it was one of her favorite TV shows and she was wondering if she was going to see this thing in her dreams agian hopefully she won't be there but she had a bad feeling about it she seen that the sun was coming up it was 5:00 oclock am and her mom came in and seen her up as Mia's mom Dana asked her what is wrong she told her that she had a nightmare it was worse then the one that she usually has and Dana asked what that pic of the girl was Mia seid it was the thing that she seen in her nightmare she was scared and want to go to a therapist.
Dana told Mia that she is worried about her and that she was going to keep her home today and take her to the therapist to see what's wrong she was not sure if she's going to get any sleep tonight because of the nightmares she had she told her mom it felt real to her and she didn't know how to handle it so Dana told her before she gets a therapist she's going to take her to a sleep doctor to find out what's really going on Mia agreed to that so Dana and Mia got in the car with her picture and thay drove off to the clinic thay drove to Rosemont street and then turned left after Dana turned left she then drove down the street to the first 4 way interaction and then turn right thay went and got to the clinic and made a appointment for the doctor and the receptionist gave her a paper to fill out.
So she fill out the form and told thay seid it would be about minutes so Dana went outside and called her school and told and told them she won't be coming in today that she is I'll thay seid ok so she went in and the doctor came out and called mia in and her mom went with her the doctor told her to put the gown on and lay down on the bed to relax and she did as the doctor went into the other room to sit down her mom was there looking at the screen Mia fell asleep.
----Dream realm----
Mia herd a noise from downstairs in the basement agian she woke up and put her feet on the floor and quietly went to the door as she had tears running down her face and had her fingers in her mouth she walked downstairs slowly and quietly as she looked the lights where on in the kitchen again and Mia went into the kitchen to find out the refrigerator door was open again and she seen that there is blood and intestines in the fridge as she looked on the floor there was a blood trail going to the basement agian and this time there was a whole lot of it she backed up fast but she knew she was in the clinic and the doctor could see everything she See's so she went and got the broom handle and went and opened the basement door and slowly went down the stairs and seen that there is a lot of blood on the steps she started to show fear and started to cry.
----Back in the clinic----
Dana omg is this the night she told me about I can see why she is upset and scared.
Doctor I have had a lot of patience's before with nightmares but I never had a patient like this who actually had a nightmare that was gruesome and bloody like this intestines and blood coming from the fridge that's insane.
Dana yes it is she drew a picture of the monster in her dream she had brought it here with her.
Doctor omg this is creepy I don't know what to think of this.
----Back to the Dream realm----
Mia went downstairs in the basement and looked now there was body's hanging up from hooks and she saw that the clear bin was full of blood she back up to the wall and fell to the floor with tears in her eyes she was scared to open the box she knows what is in there and is scared to look again as she got up and went slowly to the box and opened the lid as she got the big wooden spoon she stired it and her head came up as the monster was behind her she turned around and hit it with the broom handle as it fell to the ground she ran to the stairs and went up and closed the door.
----the Awakening----
Doctor omg Mia calm down what was that monster and why was you head in the clear box with the blood in it.
Mia I don't know omg sob sob I don't know I am so scared I refuse to go to sleep I can't go to sleep sob sob.
Doctor oh dear me I have never seen this before I have never experienced something like this.
Dana this is what kept my daughter up and this poor girl is scared shitless of this how do we stop this please doctor.
Mia what if I let the monster get me sob sob it's a dream what if that is the only way to end it sob sob sob sniff.
Dana no don't do that.
Mia mom I can't stay up all night every night I need to rest my body will die if I don't rest.
Doctor she is right what is the harm of it it's a dream.
Dana just please don't die on me please your my baby girl.
Mia I will mom sniff sniff I am sorry mom.
So thay went home and Dana ordered some food as thay waited Mia told her mom that it's going to be hurtful to do this she knew she was scared because she was shacking and in fear of this thing.
5 minutes later
The food got there and Mia and Dana ate after Mia ate she went upstairs and got a bath going for her and she got her clothes and went in the tub she scrubbed herself up good and cleaned her self as she did the dead skin came off and she felt better after she drained her water she stood up and got a towel and dryed off she then went got her clothes on and went to bed.
----The Dream realm----
Mia took a deep breath and thought it was just a dream and that it's going to be ok so she went downstairs and went downstairs to the basement she then went and taken the clear plastic bin and pushed it on the washer and dryer she taken her clothes off and then put and drop her clothes she went and layed down on the table and waited for the monster to come as she waited she herd a noise from behind the hanging carpet and sheets it was the monster of the dreams as she did not look the monster seen Mia laying there.
Monster what are you doing girl.
??? My name is Mia I am sniff sniff offering my body to be eaten by you.
Monster my name is pumpkin Girl and why are you wanting me to eat you.
Mia is that not how this ends pumpkin Girl
Pumpkin Girl no why would I eat myself.
Mia what do you mean eat yourself no your supposed to eat me I am your dinner I am supposed to be eaten by you to end this.
Pumpkin Girl no I can't eat you I will die and you will still be alive I love this look and I don't want to lose it .
Mia so what I not going to be eaten by you so I taken off my Pikachu nitewere just so you will tell me I can't be eaten I came her to be eaten now eat me.
Pumpkin Girl are you fucking crazy.
Mia well I still be alive in the real world if you ate me.
Pumpkin Girl yes .
Mia well you eat me then I won't bug you to do this and you can leave just please so I feel better in the real world.
Pumpkin Girl for heaven sakes fine I will eat you just stop this harping and I will leave after this will that make you happy.
Mia yes very much.
Pumpkin Girl ok fine here we go.
So pumpkin Girl start to eat Mia and she screamed in pain as she died in her dream she was being eaten by herself as she was told and she tore Mia apart.
----The Awakening----
Mia it feels like it's over I think I stopped it sniff omg that is so great I think I can rest easy now so she went downstairs and looked around to find that things felt ok and she finally got the feeling it was going to be ok and not a nightmare she felt a lot of relief from all of that she seen her mom in the kitchen and she went up and gave her a big hug and told her she thinks tit will be ok and she might be able to get some rest she told her mom she wants to go to school tomorrow she asked her if she was sure and Mia seid yes Dana told it was ok she went and told her she is going to lay down for the rest of the day and her mom told her ok she went upstairs and went to her room and laid down and went to sleep till morning.
----Next morning----
Mia got up and got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen table and she felt good as dana seen that her daughter was feeling good she herd the bus pull up and she taken her breakfast and ate on the bus.

I'm looking at a used 2020 Wrangler, it's in great condition except the paint near the hinges is blistering badly. I've read that the paint should be covered 5 years from the original date of sale... does anyone know if that transfers to 2nd owners? It's a great Jeep but hard to justify the cost if I'm going to have to pay to paint it as soon as I get it.

I just picked up a black 2013 single owner FR-S with 75,000 miles for a reasonable price. I live in Madison, took a bus to Chicago to pick it up after having Lemon Squad check it out(fairly disappointed in them). It had been maintained by the owner, but has some smaller issues that I will be taking care of over the coming weeks. I am starting this post to document the issues I fixed, and get the opinion of the forum on some issues that come up.
First group of "repairs" - driving home I noted a significant, rhythmic vibration that was very notable above 70mph. There is also a burning oil smell that is most notable when going slower, or creeping forward in traffic. On arriving home I found that the front passenger side wheel, and rear drivers side wheel each had only 4 lugnuts on. My fault for not noticing when I picked up the car( I assumed something like this would have been noted on the inspection I paid for), but this gives an idea of the corner cutting the car has been experiencing for the past several years. Breaking free the lugnuts, it was obvious that they were over-torqued, and the studs had never seen anti-seize. I had to repair the threads on one of the studs, but otherwise had no issues switching over to some RPF-1s I had from my WRX, and luckily kept the lugnuts that fit those wheels from before. This got rid of the vibration, but I now notice a creaking/clicking noise from the rear drivers side suspension that I haven't figured out yet. The tires are a few year old hankook V12s, and the car was hilariously tail happy until the glaze wore off.
I also did the H9 conversion for the main beams, and had to replace a turn signal bulb to get rid of the hyper-fast turn signal rate.
the source of the burning oil smell seems to be from a oil leak on the rear of the engine block on the passenger side. a little googling led me to find out this was a cylinder head cover plate that commonly leaks oil. Rather than rely on RTV again, I got an aftermarket billet cover from nameless performance, which I will put on next week. I will also replace the PCV valve and hose, as that has never been replaced, and I suspect that this is part of the issue with the leaking.
​
Issues that I have found but haven't decided what to do yet.

1. loud wind noise from passenger side window, the vertical front window gasket(between the triangle and main window) is very loose and I suspect this is the issue. Im not sure how I plan to fix it, but it will likely involve a heat gun and clamps.
2. the black plastic part of the drivers visor that clicks into the hook on the roof cracked off and it bounces everywhere when Im driving. I might just warp that in electric tape, but It might be worth the 50 dollars to just replace the whole piece.
3. the buttons next to the dash dont work at all(odo, Kph/Mph/Display). I havent found anyone talking about this issue, the part isnt super expensive, but Im not sure it is the buttons, and not sure how to test where the fault is.
4. look into the creaking/clicking sound from the drivers rear suspension
5. need a place to put my cell, where do people mount their phones in these cars?

issues my inability to call good enough alone will drive me to do

1. Im planning on looking at the throttle body to see if it needs to be cleaned
2. I doubt the spark plugs have been replaced, so that will be done this summer as well
3. replace the oil and filter
4. the owner reported changing the rear diff and tranny fluid in the past 20k miles, will likely replace it in the next several months anyway just to be sure
5. brake fluid was done in the last 2 years, and pads look like they are fine. Rotors are surprisingly good(light car I guess). will probably do all of that next year.
6. the air intake box is cracked where the tube from the front enters it. I should replace it, but it really only means a bit more hot air is entering the filter. I read that Cold air kits really dont benefit these cars, and I would rather not drop a few hundred on that right now
7. the car came with K-Sport coilovers, I will likely put them on or have them put on this summer as well. they likely have less than 20k miles on them. the prior owner took them off for being too stiff for chicago roads. the current springs are pretty harsh, so Im a little hesitant to try the coilovers out.
8. the doors do not stay open, I will eventually replace the door stays, but dont want to take the door panels off more than necessary to avoid breaking any tabs. would likely put in some sound deadening material at the same time when I do.

im sure more will come up, and I will document this. Also if anyone is in the madison area and is interested in some 18x7.5 drag wheels with worn out tires on them I would be willing to sell them at a very reasonable price.

"Tallyn, tomorrow at dawn, I want you to meet me at my Tower. Tell Galax I will be coming."
I spoke these words to my brother while I was out doing my duties. He seemed confused, and to some degree, suspicious. But when I stepped out to see him waiting for me, I followed him to the Temple.
The Temple of Bahamut remained a solid minority in the town, but it was growing, and part of me was happy for that. Galax was stood before the holy relic from the days of rain, praying, of course.
"Ruuk Stingtail." He spoke, lowering his hands and turning to face me. "Why are you here, and why did you announce your intention to come here?"
Kurtulmak had given me permission to do whatever I felt was necessary to appear absolutely penitent, even if he did not like it. To that end, I arrived in simple clothing, rather than the armor he had made for me.
I approached Galax, the Paladins drew their swords, and I knelt. Everyone was surprised, of course.
"I came here to atone for my betrayal to the Temple." I said. "While I cannot forsake my vow to Kurtulmak, I have expressed my desire to make amends, and he has granted me the freedom to do so in honor of his pact with Bahamut."
"You... You wish to atone?" He asked, utterly baffled.
"When I swore my vow to Kurtulmak, it was knowing that I was consigned to die. He understands that, had I understood I would be rescued, I would have never sworn such a vow." I bowed my head. "My service to Kurtulmak is in the interest of his redemption, to ensure he gets the justice he was cruelly denied, and to show him that a system does not need to be dismantled for progress to be made."
"Words are cheap, Ruuk." Tallyn said. "How do we know this isn't some sort of trick?"
"Bahamut demands of his followers to pray through their deeds." I spoke. "I came to seek atonement, to show with action my intention to ensure peace under a just law." I looked up at Galax. "That begins today, under the gaze of the King of Dragons."
"Galax, this has to be some sort of trick." Tallyn said. "Kurtulmak must have put him up to this!"
"Then we shall simply verify this." Galax stated. "Ruuk Stingtail, do you consent to be put under the effect of a Zone of Truth, to willingly submit to it, that you cannot lie?"
"Without question." I replied.
A spell was cast, and for a brief moment, I knew I could try to resist the spell.
"He is under the spell's effect." A Cleric spoke.
"Good. Ruuk Stingtail, have you come before us seeking atonement for your deeds?"
"I came here seeking atonement." I said.
"And has Kurtulmak truly allowed for this to happen?"
"He has granted me the freedom to speak ill against him if I so wish." I answered.
"And has he put you up to this?"
Here came the tricky part. "Kurtulmak does not wish for me to suffer under his command." I spoke. It could be construed as a truthful admission of such without directly confirming.
"Do you regret abandoning your God to serve another?"
"I do not regret remaining behind to give solace to one who was consigned to rot alone." I answered. "I regret that it came at the cost of my faith."
Galax scrutinized me for a moment, then looked at Tallyn.
"Is this a ruse?" Tallyn asked me.
"I am not certain what specifically you are asking about." I replied honestly.
"Is your coming here to seek atonement a ruse!?" Tallyn demanded.
"I came here to seek atonement for my betrayal." I answered.
"Does Kurtulmak expect us to give it to you?" He asked.
"He expects me to do what is necessary to do so, to speak truthfully. He does not believe you will give it."
This put them in a difficult spot, and they knew it. If they rejected granting me atonement, even after answering their questions under a Zone of Truth, it would mean that Kurtulmak was right about them, and it would mean a victory for him. If they went through with the atonement, they would be forced to absolve me of my misdeed.
"And if we do not absolve you?" He asked.
"Then I will have to live with my guilt." I answered.
"What do you gain from this?" Another Paladin asked.
"It grants me peace of mind and soul." I answered.
"Very well. I shall grant you atonement for your actions." Galax spoke. "Let it not be said the Temple will reject the penitent." He was handed a leather pouch, and he threw silver dust upon myself. The fire that engulfed me was brilliant, I felt regret for many things I had done, for abandoning my family and friends to live in seclusion, for living faithless out of anger at the world.
I did not regret staying behind one bit.
I was on my hands and knees, wisps of divine flame coming out of my mouth intermittently.
"You are once more aligned with Law." Galax spoke. "You have been forgiven. Pray with us, to give thanks to Bahamut for his blessings."
I had no problem praying with them, I did respect Bahamut. I could feel Kurtulmak's displeasure.
"Galax." Tallyn said. "As Ruuk as atoned for his actions, would it not be a good idea to have him display this? To have him wear the vestments of Bahamut's faithful?" I could sense Kurtulmak saying absolutely not.
"Has the Temple begun dictating what people should and shouldn't wear?" I asked. "I came to ask forgiveness and to show my sincere desire to reconcile. You cannot force me to do this."
Tallyn smirked, this was his gotcha moment. "You are saying you are unwilling to honor the God you abandoned?" He asked.
"The vestments of Bahamut are an honor, not a punishment." I stated.
"Yes." Galax replied, shooting a withering glare at Tallyn. "Not to mention is sets a legal precedent that the Warren as a whole may not like."
"Apologies." Tallyn spoke as he took his hand off his sword. "I misspoke."
"I forgive you, brother." I said. "After all, the one I hurt most is you."
He stared at me with shock, I could actually see the narrative he'd built up in my head of being a remorseless, evil traitor crumbling around him. I stood up and hugged him. "I forgive you for trying to kill me. You were only doing what you believed was right."
He put his arms around me, then hugged me tightly as he began to cry.
I stayed with him until he stopped crying, then, affecting a longing look back, I left. Returning to the Tower and putting on my armor felt like a relief. It hadn't really sunk in until now that I well and truly enjoyed my service to Kurtulmak.
He contained his mirth as I shared what I had done and said. "I am impressed." He remarked. "You managed to be both completely sincere, yet worked to undermine their grudge against me. If we can get them to support you when we establish our Empire, that will only be a boon."
"At this rate, you'll have me equally excited." I remarked.
"Indeed. Our most recent acquisition has made strides in showing his power as my Warlock, and having another Kobold aligned to my will on the Council will help balance out the will of the Temple."
"You specify the Temple, but not Bahamut." I observed.
"I have nothing to fear from Bahamut, so long as I keep true to my word. The nature of this world prevents a deity from making any lasting connection. Thousands of years ago, there were plenty of worshipers of the myriad Demons and Devils that inhabit the Lower Planes, though, an Aspect of Pelor who set up their fall failed to account that the followers he had accrued would turn on his physical Avatar and kill him."
"Who is Pelor?" I asked.
"An uptight prick." Kurtulmak remarked. "I am concerned about the Temple, they have a very limited understanding of how things are, the game that they know has many inaccuracies, with them growing slightly more accurate over time. Even so, they do not have access to history, legends, myths. Given enough effort, I could convince them I am an Aspect of Bahamut or something."
He paused, inspecting a carving he had made. "Tudru and Kuvli appreciate the aid I have rendered thus far in awakening others, as well as providing knowledge they lacked. It is hard work, yet in time, I will secure their fealty and secure our army. Merti and Tatla lean toward the Temple's favor, with Nakk and Rekka remaining neutral."
"An even split would make it difficult to do anything substatial." I remarked.
"We lack bards, monks, and wizards. Unfortunately, all of those require training, and Kobolds are not known for their wizards."
"So, we focus our attention on Nakk and Rekka." I mused. "Nakk might benefit from more Rogues, last I heard, he only found one other, and he was a former prison inmate. Rekka..."
"Will be receiving a lovely set of enchanted leather armor." Kurtulmak stated. "Along with her Rangers. They are the ones who patrol the surrounding area, they are the ones who observe the enemy as they guard their wall. They have already been shot at."
"I wasn't aware of this." I remarked.
"They don't want prospective Rangers becoming too scared to Awaken." He paused. "The Warren is mostly awake now, go out and show strength, do not hesitate to command the people in aiding you with something. Your armor carries with it an aura of authority, of legitimacy. If you can get them to kneel to you, all the better."
"As you wish, Master." I said.
I left the Tower and set about doing my duties, but this time, I began delegating to others, having them aid me with assisting larger projects. "Yes, keep it steady, the carpenters will nail it in place." I commanded.
I found I liked the way they followed my commands, the way they obeyed without question, simply because they trusted me.
I wondered if Kurtulmak felt this way as well.
A handful of Kobolds stuck around me consistently. Gek, Guks, Elgo, Idri, and Kohze, all of them were Unawakened, and desperate to be of help. "Gek, you and Elgo bring well-water here. Kohze, gather the plants listed on this paper. Idri and Guks, you are helping me defeat these snails!"
They listened without complaint, they obeyed without question, and when the job was done, I invited them to the Tower. "Pledging myself to Kurtulmak has been the best thing in my life." I told them, when prompted. "While he does not care about Humans, he deeply treasures us, and firmly believes everyone has a place."
Leading them to Kurtulmak allowed them to acquaint themselves, to get used to him. He spoke of his prior Empire, how it had been unceremoniously destroyed, how he yearned for our kind to one day have a civilization so great.
"Alas, despite my insistence, Ruuk remains adamant that the Warren does not want such a thing. Just look at him, powerful, strong, loyal, intelligent. He does not believe he is worthy, or even capable. Yet I know one who could be a monarch."
"Even if I wanted to rule, I abide by the Council's rule, and would never betray their trust." I replied.
"That has not stopped the Temple from professing they are a Kingdom under Bahamut." Kurtulmak remarked.
Elgo stood up and approached me. He looked uncertain for a moment, then he knelt. "Ruuk." He spoke. "If the day should come that such an Empire will rise, I will not hesitate to support you. I am yours to command, from now and until that day."
Seeing him kneeling like that, hearing the sincerity in his voice, I knew I was presented with something I didn't realize I wanted. "As your future monarch, I accept your vow." I spoke. The others looked at each other, then did the same.
"Shall we call you Emperor, or King?" Idri asked.
"Imperator." Kurtulmak stated. "I am the Emperor, the God of Kobolds, he is my instrument of command."
"Thank you, Imperator. We will do what we can to ensure our Empire's rise."
To rule the Warren, to command and be heard. I realized I wanted these things, and had trouble reconciling this with what I had been raised to believe. I hesitated for a moment, then said, "It will happen when the people need it." I said. "If you must speak of us forming an empire, do not mention me. Not yet, at any rate. I do not want to be seen as a power-hungry tyrant."
It was hesitation, uncertainty. They nodded, seeming to understand my trepidation, or perhaps seeing this as cautious. I wasn't certain, and I was afraid to ask.
I heard a loud sound, like a firework. It was in the middle of summer, so it wouldn't be unreasonable to hear it. Still, I looked at the others and we headed downstairs. As I opened the door, I heard even more bangs, distant, followed by the sounds of screaming.
I didn't even hesitate to run, I had been around the town enough times to know where to move, how to move. I saw a tram not far off, heading toward the town center.
There were Humans in military gear inside, one of them aimed their gun at me and fired.
The bullets hit me head-on, but the magic of the armor prevented them from piercing me. The words were barely out of my mouth as they tried to duck into the tram, the magic missiles curved around the wall, and then the tram stopped. I rushed over, they were crumpled to the ground, bloodied and barely breathing. I heard more gunfire, more screaming, how many of my people were dying?
"Ruuk!" I looked behind me to see the others, my future subjects. "Are those military? What are they doing here!?"
"It seems they're here to kill us." I said. "They're still alive, take their weapons and get them to the Temple. We're going to need to interrogate them."
"Aye, sir!" They called out before climbing onto the tram. I hurried in the direction of the gunfire, climbing over short fences and crossing yards and gardens.
I could see my people lying on the ground, unmoving, blood covering their bodies. There was a trio of soldiers shooting at a Paladin who was trying to protect a group of Unawakened. I raised my hand, my fury turning into cold hatred. "Arcanik jedark vers!" I spat, three flowing missiles flew from my hands and struck each of the soldiers, laying them out flat on their back.
I strode toward them, not even bothering to react to the bullets that hit me from afar. Of the three on the ground, only one was still alive, gasping in pain. The other two had their limbs blown clean off, the spell wasn't even that dangerous.
I grabbed the soldier by the back of his military vest and dragged him over to the soldiers who were increasingly deploying heavier firepower. Yes, it hurt, the force still enough to sting and growing worse as they hurriedly swapped to higher calibers, then they stopped when they realized the man I was dragging behind me was still alive, still breathing.
I stopped a few feet from them, they were terrified.
"My name is Ruuk Stingtail, Chosen of Kurtulmak." I spoke, I let go of the Human and took a few steps back. "Understand, you have killed innocent civilians, people who were once happy and loyal citizens of your nation. You now stand on foreign land. Darastrixhurthi and its people acknowledge your declaration of war. Uvelucal ethim emelh." A sphere of acid formed in my hand, and I splashed it over the soldier's face.
He screamed as his flesh began to dissolve. "Uvelucal ethim emelh." I incanted, another sphere forming in my hand. As I raised my hand to throw, they began to run. I hit one, square in the back, he screamed as the acid burned through his armor, he desperately struggled to get it off, yet as his back grew exposed and ran red with blood, I knew, and he knew, that he was going to die.
I walked toward the suffering soldier, who was struggling to breathe as the acid corroded his spine. I pointed my palm to his face and spoke. "Docar ethim nil'gnos." The Firebolt finished him off. I started walking toward the fleeing soldiers, thirteen of them, I had enough spells to finish them off.
I incanted the spells, the missiles flying unerringly in their direction, hitting them with enough force to rupture internal organs, one man's skull was caved in.
I let one escape, after all, we needed a messenger.
​
[Navigation for 'Dragon Rising'- [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]]

THIS IS JUST AN INCOMPLETE PLACEHOLDER. CHECK BACK TOMORROW FOR THE FULL LISTING.
Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events

Local Running, Walking, and Biking Info: https://troubleafoot.blogspot.com/
OutdooFarmer’s Markets:

• Lake Ella Grower's Market: Wednesday, 11am-2pm. You can always find organic vendors, and foragers: The Holistic Cannabis Community, Artzi Farms, Hickory Nut Gifts, and others. Including Pita Queen! Farmer's Market Nutrition Program Coupons gladly accepted!
  
• Frenchtown Market: 524 N MLK Jr Blvd. Saturdays, 10am to 2pm. Come grow community and support your local farmers and makers, while you get your groceries for the week! Don’t forget! We match SNAP/EBT, so you DOUBLE your money to go towards locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables!
  
• Tallahassee Farmers Market: 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Saturdays, 8am to Noon. Come see us at Tallahassee's longest-running farmers market! We are a year-round market, featuring local farms and vendors that provide the best seasonal produce, meats, baked goods, and more. We welcome you and your whole family (leashed pets included) to come out and meet your local farmers! Ample parking is available between our lot and the shopping center lot next door (by Red Elephant). Come early for the best selection.
  
• Tallahassee Downtown Market: Ponce de Leon Park, Saturdays, 10am-2pm. Join us for a stroll in the park among local makers, bakers, artists and farmers as live music is played by local musicians!
  

THURSDAY, 6/1

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour Pickfoolery. 5pm
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Bingo. 6pm
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Weekly Open Blues Jam. If you'd like to sing, please bring your own mic. 6pm
  
• Blu Halo: Upside Avenue. 6pm
  
• Lake Hall: Thursday Night Paddle Series. Weekly paddles at Lake Hall every Thursday starting at 6PM. The park closes on a sliding scale each night dictated by sun set. The park entrance fee is $6.00 (the ranger station closes at 5:30 and they typically do not charge for entry after this time). While there is no fee for this event ALL paddlers must have filled out the ACKC insurance waiver. Link here: https://form.jotform.com/JLAagency/apalachee-canoe--kayak----club-waiv Welcome to our weekly Thursday night paddling event at Maclay Gardens State Park in Tallahassee, Florida. Our event is designed to be both casual and instructional, offering paddlers of all skill levels the opportunity to improve their kayaking abilities while enjoying the beautiful surroundings. Starting at 6pm and ending at sunset, our weekly paddling event will provide participants with the chance to learn and practice different strokes, capsize recovery, and kayak rolling techniques. Sometimes there will be knowledgeable instructors on hand to provide guidance and instruction helping you to develop your skills and build your confidence on the water. Whether you are a beginner looking to learn the basics of paddling or an experienced paddler looking to improve your technique, our event is perfect for you. We welcome all skill levels and provide a supportive and encouraging environment to help you achieve your goals. Join us each Thursday evening at Maclay Gardens State Park and experience the thrill of kayaking while learning new skills and making new friends. Don't miss out on this fantastic opportunity to improve your paddling abilities and explore the beauty of Tallahassee's natural surroundings. 6pm
  
• The Great Games Library: Solforge Fusion Sealed-Deck Tournament. Anyone interested in SolForge: Fusion, please come out! Thursday nights at 6:00pm to 9:00pm ish will be dedicated to SolForge Fusion gameplay and weekly tournaments. If you play or have played MTG but would like to spend less, this is a great alternative CCG with inexpensive entry and minimal purchases to enjoy playing competitively. In-store and online tournaments may be played with the same decks purchased at any store. SolForge was created by the same designer for MTG, Netrunner, and Key Forge, Richard Garfield, and the designer for Ascension, Justine Gary. 6pm/$35 Entry Fee for 4 Sealed Half-decks, Special Art Playmat Prize for 1st Place
  
• Oyster City Brewing Co: Open Mic Night! Join us on Thursdays from 6:30-9:30 PM for Open Mic Night hosted by the incredible Mike Ingram of The Brown Goose! 🎙️ 🎶 This is your chance to show off your skills! Whether you're a musician, poet, comedian, or have a hidden talent, we can't wait to see what you bring to the stage. 6:30pm
  
• World of Beer: Trivia Night. 7pm
  
• Lake Tribe III: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Smitty's Taphouse: Trivia Lab Thursdays. Teams of 6 or fewer players can compete for $30 / $20 / $10 Prizes + The Golden MacGuffin prize table! New format! Interactive smartphone answering for your comfort and safety! 6 Fun Rounds - 42 Total Questions. 7:30pm
  
• House of Music: Prime Rib Thursday & Karaoke. 7:30pm
  
• Cap City Video Lounge: Red Zone Cuba: MST3K May the Fourth Double Feature. Join us Thursday as we climb aboard The Satellite of Love along with Joel, Tom Servo and CROOOOWas the Gang riffs filmmaker Coleman Francis' 1966 neo-noir art film magnum opus, RED ZONE CUBA! immediately proceeded by the short, SPEECH: PLATFORM, POSTURE AND APPEARANCE! 8pm/free but donations encouraged
  
• Fire Bettys: Electronic Thursdays. There will be rotating music genres from local artists! 8pm/free/21+
  
• Poor Pauls: Trivia. 8/21+
  
• 926: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Electronic Show. Join us for Experiment 002 and take a mind-bending trip into the sound of the future! Our electrifying music party will transport you to another dimension with cutting-edge beats and non-stop excitement. 9pm
  
• Bird’s: Karaoke with Nathan. 9pm
  

• Blue Tavern: Bluegrass Jam with Dennis Hardin. 5pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wasted Potential Brass Band. 8pm
  
• House of Music: Steeln’ Peaches: The Music of the Allman Brothers Band. 8pm
  

FRIDAY, 6/2

• Lake Tribe: Flannel Friday. Flannel Fridays will be featuring a wide range of fall themed 'Pop-up' activities such as food trucks, live music, campfires, s'mores roasting, new seasonal brews, and more! Come dawn your flannel and cozy up to the simpler things in life. Our beers taste like the outdoors feel, let our tasting room be your Friday cabin retreat. 4pm
  
• Gamescape: MTG Friday Night Magic. FORMAT: Standard Constructed. Swiss rounds as determined by the number of players with a maximum of 5 rounds. 7pm/$5
  
• Hobbit West: Friday Night Dart Tournament. Anyone can Enter! Sign ups at 7:30, Darts fly at 8:00/$10 entry fee
  
• Ouzts Too: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 8pm
  
• Club Downunder: CDU X Hip Hop Club Presents Freestyle Friday. Show off your freestyle rap or poetry skills at Freestyle Friday! Doors are at 7:30 with the show starting at 8:00 in Club Downunder! Send an email to [email protected] to sign up! 8pm
  
• The Bar at La Casa: Karaoke with DJ FUSION. 9pm
  
• Just One More: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-11pm/21+
  
• 926: The Hot Friday Night Party and Drag Show. 9pm/$5/18+
  

• Blue Tavern: Everett Young. 5pm
  
• Square Mug: Jordie Hendrix. 6pm
  
• The Plant: Maker’s Market featuring local artists selling handmade items and live music by Bad Weather, High Speed Suicide, Speed Runner, ArsonGender, and Computer Man. 6:30pm
  
• Ology Midtown: Kanise featuring Facey. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Lee C Payton performs a tribute to Kathryn Belle Long. 7pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Groove Merchants. 8pm/21+
  
• The Bark: Saturnalia, Gangs of Paris, Headfoam, and Wojtek. 8pm
  

SATURDAY, 6/3

• Brinkley Glen Park: Invasive Plant Removal. Join Master Gardener Volunteers at this weekly invasive plant removal event. This is a great way to learn to ID our invasive plant species and how to remove them. We recommend wearing long pants and sleeves, closed-toed shoes, gloves, a hat and mosquito spray. Bring gardening tools such as hand clippers, loppers, trowels, etc. if you have them. We are removing coral ardisia bushes and berries, nandina, tung trees, Tradescantia flumenensis, cat's claw vine, winged yam, Japanese climbing fern, skunkvine and more. Directions: The best way to get there is to take Meridian Rd to Waverly Rd, go to the next intersection and turn left onto Abbotsford Way, then turn left at the next road called Woodside Dr. At the stop sign turn left onto Lothian. Lothian ends in a cul-de-sac and there is a sign that says Brinkley Glen Park. 8:30am-11:30am
  
• The Rose Room: The Rose Revue. Performances by your favorite entertainers and special guests! Shows at 8pm, 10pm, & Midnight! A unique cast EACH show! 7pm
  
• Duke’s and Dottie’s: Line Dancing Plus Lessons. 7pm/21+
  
• Bird’s Oyster Shack: Laughterday Night Fever. This week: Five Year Anniversary Laughterday Night Fever! Join us every Saturday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack for a free comedy show! 8:30pm
  
• La Casa Bar: Karaoke With Nathan. 9pm-1am
  

• Blue Tavern: First Saturday Swim with Bluegill Bill. 5pm
  
• Tally Print Studio (225 E Pershing St): Grand Opening featuring local printmakers, food vendors, live screen printing, clothing swap, and live music from DJ Enigumatic, Danitza, Rachel Hillman, and Sleep John B. 5pm-10pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Co: Mechanical Lincoln. 7pm
  
• The Bark: Boy Named Sue, Teens In Trouble, and Copyright Claim. 7:30pm
  
• Square Mug: Suddenly, Bench Warmer, and Sarah Morrison. 8pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Prine Time: Local Songwriters cover the music of John Prine. 8pm
  
• House of Music: The Funky ‘Taters featuring Lili Forbes and friends. 8pm
  

SUNDAY, 6/4

• Bicycle House: Sunday Ride. Ride at 10:30 AM from Bicycle House. We will ride the Cascades trail to the St Marks trail and down to Wakulla station and return, about 31 miles. Ride speed is 12 to 14 mph, with periodic regroups. Vernon Bailey is the ride leader. Vernon is a new CCC member who’s been biking for 50 years enjoys riding with small groups and weekend touring. 10am
  
• Gamescape: Pokémon League. Come learn, play, and trade with the Pokémon Trading Card Game and the Pokémon video games! We LOVE seeing new players, so come learn how to play! We play both the Trading Card Game and the Video Game casually and competitively. The store offers lots of different seating arrangements to meet our group's needs, as well as food, drinks, and Pokémon products for purchase. We are also hold regular, officially sanctioned tournaments for Pokémon Trading Card Game and Video Game Competitions! 2-4pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Colby Scheib. 3pm
  
• House of Music: Songwriter Sunday. Songwriters of Tallahassee hosted by Rachel Hillman. Bring your original songs on Sunday - sign up is at 4:30. No Cover Songs please - this is an event celebrating original music. Accompanists and Bands Welcome - you must be able to set up within two minutes, so no crazy pedals or amp shenanigans. No Backing Tracks - Please find someone to play your song with you. 5pm
  
• The Plant: Open Jam. All instruments, all players welcome. 5pm-9pm
  
• House of Music: Perkins Street Pickers. 5pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing: Comedy Night. Come have some laughs with us on Sunday nights! If you are interested in participating in the show, reach out to [email protected] 7:30pm
  
• The Rose Room: Synful Sunday. 8pm
  

**MONDAY, 6/5

• Just One More: Bingo. 5pm-6:30pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Cha Cha - Weekly Lessons. 6:15pm/$5
  
• Hangar 38: Bingo. 6:45pm
  
• Vino Beano: Tipsy Trivia. 7pm
  
• The Rose Room: Karaoke Night. 8pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing: The Bachelor Watch Party! 8pm
  

TUESDAY, 6/6

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Paddy League. 5pm
  
• World of Beer: Poker Night. 6pm
  
• The Rose Room: Drag Bingo and Open Stage Night ft. Britney T. Foxx! 6pm
  
• Crafty Crab: BOOMIN' Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Ology Midtown: Jazz Jam Sessions. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Trivia. 7pm
  
• House of Music: Tuesday Trivia & Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Burrito Boarder: Karaoke with DJ Roldus. 8pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Tuesday is Blues Day. Every Tuesday is Blues Day @ the Blue Tavern and Blues Meets Girl is a Tallahassee favorite. This perfect, intimate venue provides just what you need for both a mid-week break and authentic blues music experience. 8pm
  
• 4th Quarter: Professor Jim's Tuesday Night Trivia. Popular for a reason! 8pm
  
• Argonaut Coffee: Trivia Tuesday. 8pm
  
• 926: Tacos and Trivia. 9pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Comedy Show. 9pm/21+
  

• Retrofit Records: Janelle Monáe “The Age Of Pleasure” Album Listening Party. 8pm

WEDNESDAY, 6/7

• Rose Room: Women's Wednesday. Featuring Our Rose Roulettes and drink specials all night long. A night for all of our female-identifying friends to enjoy a safe space and an awesome happy hour! 5pm-2am
  
• Blue Tavern: The Wednesday Night Lab Session hosted by Jim Crozier. 5pm
  
• Sugar and Spice Tally: Game Night. Join us every Wednesday Night for community game night. Bring your own or use ours! Let me know if you need to reserve space for a large group. Free to attend! 5pm
  
• Tara Angel’s Magic: D&D Experience - Adult (18+) Group. Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition - Candlekeep Mysteries. A one-shot is a D&D event that starts and finishes in the same session, typically lasting 3 - 4 hours. We have pre-generated characters for players to choose from. WHAT TO BRING: Pencils, Dice (can be purchased in store), Mask (encouraged for unvaccinated participants), Enthusiasm! Please sign up in advance to reserve a spot in this campaign. Tickets can be purchased in-store, over the phone, or on the website. For more information, please email [email protected], or call: (850) 878-4555 6pm-9pm
  
• Goodwood: Wonderful Wednesday. 6pm/$5
  
• Level 8 Rooftop Lounge: Trivia. 6pm
  
• The Great Games Library: Open Game Night. 6pm/free
  
• American Legion Hall: Sue Boyd Country Western and More Dance Class. Session 2 - Beginner 6:30 to 7:45 pm What: East Coast Swing and Waltz. Cost: $8.00 per person. Wear comfortable shoes you can turn in. 7:45 to 8:15 - Practice dance with paid admission. 8:15 to 9:30: Intermediate - 2 Step and WCS. $8.00 per person or $13.00 for both classes. Vaccines are required. Face masks are optional. Changing partners is optional. 6:30pm
  
• Perry Lynn’s Smokehouse in Quincy: Wed Night Open Mic w/ Steven Ritter and Friends. 6:30pm
  
• Hangar 38: Trivia. 6:45pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Tallahassee: Trivia. Teams up to 6 players for three rounds with 10 questions and a tie breaker each round. Winners are by round so don’t worry if you need to come late or can’t stay the whole time! Prizes include a round of beer, a 6 pack and a gift card! 7pm
  
• Proof: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Vino Beano: Wine Bingo. 7pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Trivia. 7pm
  
• House of Music: Open Mic at House of Music. Join us Wednesday nights for open mic in the bar with host Mike Ingram of The Brown Goose. Come early for Happy Hour and dinner! 8pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Warehouse Wednesdays Open Mic Night. The open mic night that has run continuously for almost 20 years, once housed at the Warehouse, lives on at the Blue Tavern. Doc Russell continues as the host with the most. Sign up starts at 8pm/free to attend
  
• Fire Betty’s: Karaoke! 8pm/21+/free
  
• Dukes and Dotties: College Night and Line Dancing Lessons. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 9pm
  
• 926: Dragged Out Wednesday. 10pm
  

• The Bark: Dikembe, Glazed, and Professional Businessman. 7:15pm

GO Battle League Season 15 is upon us, and along with it, our now-customary move rebalance! What's new, what's improved, what's good, bad, or ugly coming out the other side? Let's dive right in and see!
As per usual, Niantic has made us wait until the 11th hour for information on this coming season. (Thanks, Niantic... love you too! 😝) As is NOT usual for them of late, the rebalance taking place at the start of this new GBL season is massive, with no less than thirty three Pokémon being directly affected. Needless to say, this is going to be a lengthy analysis, so let's just dive right into it, shall we?
A FAIR WIND, OR GALE FORCE WINDS? It might seem odd to lead off with a move given to only two new recipients, but CLEFABLE is no ordinary recipient. It has faded further and further into obscurity over time as other Fairies have risen up around it, having dropped out of the Top 5 Fairies in Ultra League and almost out of the Top 10 in Great League. It's still decently bulky, and still comes with the awesome Meteor Mash, which is not only cheaper than most charge moves found on various Charmers (that don't rhyme with "Aloe Van Pine Nails"), but is very widely unresisted and, critically in themed Cups where Clefable is eligible, super effective versus fellow Fairies, often delivering a knockout blow. The problem, of course, is that like other Charmers, you're unlikely to reach it in multiples, since Charm only generates a way below average 2.0 Energy Per Turn (EPT), tied for worst energy generation in the game. It also has Psychic for coverage, or Moonblast for big STAB damage, but the likelihood of reaching any of those in a critical spot is rather low since Charm is just SO slow to get there. So it has sat, languishing, as other interesting Charmers have come along and is now, at best, just part of a growing pack of similiar Pokémon.
That ALL changes with the addition of Fairy Wind and its 4.5 EPT. Not only does this allow it to finally break away from the pack and make its own unique mark, but it works REALLY well with its moves. Spamming a Meteor Mash every 6 seconds (or thanks to carryover energy, just 5 seconds between the second and third Mash) sounds pretty good to me! And indeed, as compared to Charm, you can see immediate improvement in Great League, with new wins against Noctowl (!!!), Azumarill, Froslass, Diggersby, Alolan Ninetales, and somehow even Fairy slayer Shadow Victreebel by slamming it with two Meteor Mashes. Even after all that, though, it remains underwater overall as far as win/loss record goes, though beating Medicham and Noctowl and all else that you'd expect of a good Fairy give it some great corebreaking potential.
For the eye-popping numbers, we actually turn to Ultra League, where Clef turns from this into this. Yes, that IS more than double its former win total (and a jump from under 30% winrate to now 60%!), with those new wins coming versus Walrein, A-Ninetales, Sylveon, Aurorus, Cobalion, Dubwool, Snorlax, Drapion, DDeoxys, and even resists-all-of-Clefable's-moves Escavalier! And if its relatively high XL cost is scaring you, fear not... you can build a hundo to 2499 CP and miss out only on Walrein and Greedent, for what that's worth. Put simply, Clefable is one of the biggest winners in this rebalance, moving from a previous rank of #145 in Open UL all the way up now to #28, with Tapu Fini being the only Fairy ranked higher!
More of a footnote is TOGETIC, which now also learns Fairy Wind, and boy did it need that. Previously having to rely on the mostly awful Hidden Power (in which case you usually had to hope to get lucky with Flying type H.P.) or the subpar Extrasensory, it was left looking quite pitiful. But now, at least it could be spice in the right meta, maybe.
WIGGLYTUFF did not get Fairy Wind, but it is receiving Disarming Voice, a move I've been wishing would be more widely distributed for years. A Fairy-type clone of moves like Psyshock, Magnet Bomb, and Foul Play, it's a more-than-passable move, and quietly the cheapest one that Fairy has available...15 less energy than Play Rough and Moonblast, and better Damage Per Energy {DPE} than the former. Anyway, seeing as Wigglytuff currently relies on Play Rough, Voice likely now slots in as its replacement for a little more shield pressure and new wins like Azumarill and Lickitung. The needle doesn't move too much, but the improvement is still appreciated!
PRIMARINA also gets Voice, but it doesn't really help it... yet. Prima IS a little underrated in Master League, where its Water typing is much more help (resisting Ice, Fire, Water) than hindrance (very little Grass and Electric around to exploit it). But it won't really take off until it also eventually gets Hydro Cannon... sometime in 2025? At that point, it will appreciate having cheap Disarming Voice alongside Cannon more, I think.
LONG STORY SHORT, Fairy Wind Clefable is one of those rather rare overnight sensations that could see an immediate usage spike in Ultra League and as a nice corebreaker in Great League (the pickup against Noctowl really pushing it over the top). It really appreciates the extra energy to spam charge moves, and has just enough variety between Meteor Mash, Psychic (the move!), and Moonblast to keep the opponent guessing and shielding when they really don't want to. The other Fairies with new toys (Togetic and Wigglytuff especially) appreciate small bumps in performance, but are unlikely to suddenly appear where they weren't already.
DRILL RUNNIN' 🔥 As with Fairy Wind, there are only two new recipients of Drill Run, but both are very interesting.
We'll start with ALOLAN SANDSLASH. It sees some play already in both Great (including the Shadow variant and Ultra Leagues, usually with former Community Day move Shadow Claw to give it a unique profile, and spammy Ice Punch and typically Bulldoze for coverage. Bulldoze has excellent coverage (primarily versus Rocks, Steels, and Fires that give A-Slash a lot of trouble otherwise), but isn't a very good move (60 energy for only 80 damage). Drill Run is a strict upgrade, dealing the same 80 Ground-type damage for only 45 energy, a big savings.
Looking simply at simulation numbers, Drill Run doesn't seem to be a great improvement in Great or Ultra, with just occasional new wins popping up like UL Scizor or GL Alolan Marowak in certain shielding scenarios. But this goes beyond the numbers. Those who already use and love A-Slash will greatly appreciate the extra pressure that comes with Drill Run, as it can now be sprung for just 5 more energy than Ice Punch, making each shielding decision that much sweatier for the opponent. Even without STAB, Drill Run still deals quite a bit more damage than Ice Punch versus neutral targets, so this isn't just for strict coverage either. In every way, this makes Alolan Sandslash better, and better at covering its backside. I think players that don't already use A-Slash may come to better appreciate and respect it now too, and perhaps not just in Limited metas!
Perhaps even more interesting (and, frankly, unexpected) is DEWGONG, the poor WateIce type that has NEVER had a move rebalance other than taking its two best moves (Ice Shard and Icy Wind) away. Niantic has finally given it a LOT of love in this update, with Drill Run providing new coverage, and new move Liquidation finally giving it a viable Water move too. (Water Pulse and Aqua Jet are both terrible, folks... so much so that I've always recommended Blizzard as Dewgong's second move. For example, did you know that it tends to lose to Alolan Marowak with super effective Pulse but actually wins with resisted Blizzard?!) Anyway, I do think you want to definitely keep Icy Wind, so then your choice becomes Drill Run to have a shot at things like Froslass, Toxicroak, Lanturn (with Water Gun), and the aforementioned Alolan Marowak, or Liquidation to better outrace Skarmory and Alolan Ninetales? Either way, you get things like Azumarill and Dunsparce now, and still beat things that don't show in those sims like Swampert and Sableye by remaining fully commited to Icy Wind spam. And while you don't see a lot of new Rock or Steel or Fire wins popping up, Drill Run especially gives them all serious pause, forcing them to shield where they really never had to worry about it much before. (Because, again, Water Pulse is awful.)
So not really a great case for Liquidation here, but this is at least a way to transition into covering that move more fully next!
LONG STORY SHORT, both Dewgong and Alolan Sandslash immediately get better (and get better coverage) with Drill Run in the mix. I think it will be their preferred secondary/closing move going forward, and both will see a bump in play.
LIQUIDATION... GOING OUT OF BUSINESS ALREADY? So about that new move Liquidation. It's a good if not fantastic move, an exact clone of Crunch... same cost (45 energy), damage (70), and potential debuff (30% chance to reduce the opponent's Defense). Not game breaking, but very, very solid.
But the real question is... do any of the things that recieve it really want it, and if so, do any of them notably improve in PvP?
I'm gonna save you some time (and me some characters!) by immediately pushing many of its recipients right off the raft.
I think CLOYSTER actually prefers to hold on to a big closer like Hydro Pump rather than Liquidation, preferring to soften things up with Icy Wind and then go in for the kill. Pass.
Similarly, all of the following prefer to keep existing movesets: SAMUROTT (Hydro Cannon/Megahorn), CARRACOSTA (Body Slam/Surf), BEARTIC (Ice Punch/Aqua Tail), EELEKTROSS (Dragon Claw/Crunch). All remain fringe at best.
VAPOREON basically views Liquidation as a sidegrade to existing Scald, though Liquidation is NOT Legacy as Scald is, so it's worth it for any Vapes that don't have its old Community Day move. But Vaporeon remains mostly on the outside looking in at better Water types in various Leagues. No real boost here.
GOLDUCK sees a slight bump with Liquidation, but remains just a spice play, at best.
There is a reason you have never seen FLOATZEL in PvP... it has terrible charge moves. Bad, bad moves like Swift and Aqua Jet, with Hydro Pump as a passable closer but stymied due to average-at-best energy gains from Water Gun or Waterfall. Liquidation is in some ways just what the doctor ordered, but uh... Floatzel still sinks in PvP.
ARMALDO remains a lost cause as well. If you want a GOOD Rocky Bug, use Crustle. If you want a spice one, go with the new Kleavor. If you want to just tank your ELO, THEN maybe consider Armaldo. That's about it though, even with the new move.
Man, quite a bummer, right? Decent move, but really nothing that gets it stands to benefit in a way that will impact PvP. So moving on then to... wait, what? I missed one? Oh... OH! So I did. And thankfully, we can end this section on a good note... because GOLISOPOD just became a bit more interesting.
Remember that when it was first released, it was a completely lost cause, with Fury Cutter, Metal Claw, and Waterfall as its clumsy fast moves, and underwhelming X-Scissor, **Aerial Ace, and somehow even worse Aqua Jet as its only charge moves. That left it in a very sad state. Eventually, it acquired Shadow Claw, which made it at least slightly interesting. And now comes the charge move it's been begging for, with Liquidation elevating it into spice territory, at the very least. Now you can potentially beat things like Charizard, Nidoqueen, Alolan Sandslash, Alolan Ninetales (Powder Snow), Talonflame, Cobalion, and Sylveon that you couldn't before, though even as bad as Aerial Ace is, giving it up means you generally now lose some Grasses like Venusaur and Virizion. Still though, things are looking up for Golisopod!
LONG STORY SHORT, while Liquidation is actually a nice addition to Water's arsenal (a clone of Crunch, including the debuff chance), the only thing that gets it initially that really looks to benefit is Golisopod. Stay tuned to what may get it down the road, though... most of its current recipients just have more problems than Liquidation alone can solve.
THE LEAF AGE BEGINS? Probably haven't seen Bullet Punch in PvP much, have you? Scizor and Metagross use it, and uh... that's about the extent of it. But it's actually a pretty good PvP fast move, with the average 3.0 Damage Per Turn (DPT) but above average energy generation (3.5 EPT). And now here comes Leafage, an exact clone of Bullet Punch for the Grass typing. The number of things that get it is quite a bit smaller than Liquidation (only three evolutionary lines), but I think this is a clear case of quality over quantity in Leafage's favor.
I could write an entire article on the injustices done to DECIDUEYE in Pokémon GO. All its interesting moves in MSG, and here it sits with underpowered Shadow Sneak, overpriced Energy Ball, and big but risky closer Brave Bird, and all locked behind low-energy Razor Leaf or arguably worst fast move in the game Astonish. #JusticeForDecidueye! While I do still hope for an eventual and LONG overdue buff to Astonish, for now the addition of Leafage should be a big help, right? Weeeeeeeell..... I mean, yes, it is most certainly better, and will become even a bit moreso when it eventually gets Frenzy Plant. But clearly, it's problems are not JUST the fast moves. Heck, pre-evolution DARTRIX (who has also been trapped behind Razor Leaf) even looks better than Deci in the here and now, thanks in large part to having Seed Bomb as a more workable second charge move to set up Brave Bird. It does seem that even though ROWLETT also gets Leafage, it may still prefer to keep existing Razor Leaf down in Little League, where Razor Leaf can admittedly be particularly dominant.
LURANTIS (and Little League pre-evolution FOMANTIS) operates nicely right now as sort of a Jack of all trades with Fury Cutter (and its Bug damage output) powering up Leaf Blade and Superpower (well, Grass Knot in Fomantis' case). Superpower allows for some nutty wins like Bastiodon, Galarian Stunfisk, and excecuted properly, even Registeel, clearly showing Lurantis' appeal. So does Leafage help or disrupt the good Lurantis has already got going? Eh, I think we're gonna call it a sidegrade, though a tasty one for sure. Lurantis does give up a couple things where the effectiveness of Fury Cutter wins the day (Cresselia, Shadow Victreebel) and loses a little speed, which flips Shadow Alolan Sandslash to a loss. (Luratnis cannot hit a Leaf Blade AND followon Superpower in time with Leafage like it can with Fury Cutter.) But Leafage is able to carve out new wins like Shadow Alolan Ninetales and Pelipper with superior neutral fast move damage (as opposed to resisted Bug damage), and also can outrace Walrein far more reliably. So not an upgrade, but a nice sidegrade like this can add some disruption into appropriate metas just fine.
Speaking of disruption, let's check out ABOMASNOW. Obviously it runs more as an Ice than a Grass, humming along nicely in multiple metas with Powder Snow and Weather Ball (Ice) and Energy Ball for a big Grass closer when the situation calls for it. And more than likely, it will mostly continue in that configuration moving forward. BUT, Leafage may be preferred in certain metas now, at least, and not just because it now slams the door on Water types (instead of sometimes merely scraping by with Powder Snow). In Great League, where ShadowBama is usually preferred, Powder Snow continues to shine out, but it's worth noting that while Leafage is an overall downgrade, most of the wins it gives up are versus Flyers (Altaria, Noctowl, Skarmory, Mandibuzz), with new losses to Umbreon and Venusaur as the most notable exceptions. Leafage DOES make some new key contributions like Powder Alolan Ninetales and Galarian Stunfisk that may come more to the fore in Limited metas with, say, fewer Flyers? Just saying. In Ultra League, the biggest knock against Leafage is that it drops the Giratinas (as compared to Powder Snow), but otherwise Leafage makes a pretty strong case with pickups of Poliwrath, Walrein, and Alolan Ninetales (with Powder Snow OR Charm). I think Leafage deserves some real consideration at Ultra League level!
LONG STORY SHORT, no huge improvements to be found with Leafage, but it does earn a rightful place as a robust sidegrade consideration for the Lurantis and Abomasnow lines (particularly with Ultra League Aboma). It's an upgrade for the Rowlett/Dartrix/Decidueye line, though Deci itself remains middling at best until it one day gets Frenzy Plant (or just some more synergistic charge moves in general!). Leafage SHOULD start popping up here and there in PvP soon, moreso than Liquidation likely will.
JUST A BRUSH FIRE, REALLY Honestly, I expected a number of things to get Mystical Fire after it recently entered the game, but for now, Niantic chose to distribute it to only two new Pokémon:
As I mentioned in my analysis on Mystical Fire back during Delphox Community Day, DRIFBLIM is an intriguing choice. Mystical Fire and existing Blim coverage move Icy Wind share the same stats aside from typing, so this is almost the very definition of sidegrade... against neutral targets they do the exact same thing, so it just comes down to effectiveness. If Blim is facing something burnable (like a Steel, Ice, or Bug type), it will prefer to have Mystical Fire. For things weak to Ice, like Flyers and Dragons and Grounds, obviously it will want to be packing Icy Wind instead. (Grasses are weak to both Fire and Ice, so usually no change there, aside from things like Abomasnow with a subtyping that favors one or the other... in that case, Mystical Fire is double super effective and Icy Wind is merely neutral.) I'm not going to bother with the sims, as they're close to indistinguishable at a high level, but I WILL note that Mystical Fire can potentially beat Galarian Stunfisk at Ultra League level, and more definitely beats G-Fisk AND A-Slash, Skarmory, and even Registeel at Great League level, none of which Icy Wind can realistically hope to replicate. (Its only standouts are things like Gliscor.) Yes, giving up Icy Wind means completely abandoning hope versus things like Ghost-resistant Pidgeot and especially Noctowl, but overall? I think Drifblim might be getting much hotter soon, in several senses of the word! 🔥
Not nearly as exciting, I admit, but note that LITWICK also gets Mystical Fire. It's really only for Little League use, and has been an interesting but lesser-used Fire type, falling behind things like Vulpix, Growlithe, and Tepig thanks to them having some good neutral coverage, while Litwick has been stuck with just Flame Charge and two other rather Fire charge moves. Mystical Fire slots in as a nearly straight upgrade with pickups that include Wynaut, Vullaby, Obstagoon (for LL Cups where it's allowed), and... Vulpix, regardless of which fast move 'Pix is using. Something to look forward to in the next Little League rotation!
LONG STORY SHORT, Mystical Fire IS likely the default coverage move of choice for Drifblim going forward, just because of the number of burnable things (as opposed to freezeable things) in its respective metas, Great League especially. Except to see Blim soar up a little higher than it has in a while. It's also a nice upgrade for Litwick, who should finally emerge as a true Fire contender in Little League formats.
ODDS AND ENDS Going to put everything else together in this last main section, but don't mistake that to mean they're less important... quite the contrary! Just doing this because these are all one-offs, as opposed to the changes above which directly affected multiple Pokémon recipients.
Before I dive into the specific move additions, let's briefly review the existing moves that are being buffed or nerfed in this update.
Icicle Spear - 60 power → 65 power. Obviously this only affects WALREIN (for now), and is obviously a strict upgrade, since the cost and all else remains the same, just more damage. Specifically, at a high level, I see Walrein picking up things like Skarmory and Umbreon (non-Shadow) and Trevenant, Pelipper, and Azumarill (Shadow) in Great League, and stuff like Shadow Alolan Ninetales and Virizion in Ultra League. So yeah... you didn't need me to tell you this was an improvement, but maybe that helps you decide how much of an improvement and whether you want to turn back to Wally if you ever turned away before. I'd say Great League in particular has reason to fear it a bit more again.
Poison Fang - 40 power → 45 power. More things affected by this than Icicle Spear, but obviously most of you just want to know about NIDOQUEEN, so in the interest of time and... well, interest, we'll just highlight her for now. Again, you don't need me to tell you this only makes things with Poison Fang better, but HOW much better? Honestly not too much changes in Great League (as far as straight wins a losses go, though this is undoubtedly scarier now!), but in Ultra League, I see new wins for Queen versus things like Charizard, Pidgeot, Cresselia, Dubwool, Obstagoon, AND Guzzlord, among others, so this is no small tweak! Might Nidoqueen be "back"? Only time will tell. Admittedly, what made it SO scary in the past was the cheaper cost of Poison Fang, and that hasn't changed, so I don't see it returning to full dominance like she once enjoyed. I also think she was treated rather harshly even before this buff... she didn't fall off quite as hard as many made it out to be. This will reveal that more fully... she's not so much "back" as much as I think she never really left. Also keep in mind things like GOLBAT/CROBAT and SALAZZLE/SALANDIT** that stand to benefit from this as well!
Rollout - 4 power → 5 power. So low power that I can tell you this won't be a big shift, but obviously it DOES help. DUNSPARCE picks up a potential win over Shadow Alolan Ninetales (hey, Rollout is super effective, so....), and MILTANK a new win versus Shadow Swampert, of all things, and sometimes (Water Gun) Lanturn when utilizing Ice Beam instead of my personal recommendation of Thunderbolt (which beats Lanturn as well). It tends to prefer Tackle in Ultra League, though newly buffed Rollout is MUCH improved now with new wins versus Cresselia, Drapion, Umbreon, Alolan Muk, AND Walrein. Perhaps Tackle won't be the default now? As for ALOLAN GOLEM, Volt Switch just remains a much better move in nearly every scenario and meta. Stick with that, I say, and get all the Rock damage you need from the charge moves instead. 🪨
Mud Bomb - 55 power → 60 power. The two big ones that come to mind are TOXICROAK and WHISCASH, the latter of which honestly needed a boost like this. However, this small a bump looks and feels like more of a "win more" where they already won more than anything. The only notable new win I see (at the high level this massive rebalance is demanding of little old me!) is Toxicroak versus Trevenant, though I think that's more due to Trevenant's nerf (which we'll get to in a moment) than Toxicroak's resisted Mud Bomb dealing a tiny bit more damage. (And upon further review, it may be neither of those and instead just come down to move timing.. but leaving Trevor in here as it's a good setup for later.) The big winner here is actually QUAGSIRE, who FINALLY gets a charge move cheaper than 55 energy to reach the same spam potential as its fellow Mud Boys. It's hard to show how this improves things in simulations, as they actually tend to favor Earthquake in many situations (such as in 1v1 shielding, where Quake shows additional wins against things like Azu, Sable, Swampert, and Umbreon), but the difference is more obvious when you go 2v2 shielding, and the extra spam of Mud Bomb shows out with new wins that include Froslass, Jellicent, Toxicroak, Shadow Alolan Ninetales, and Shadow Walrein. I actually don't know if this will actually bump up Quagsire's useage or not, though it's shot up about 60 slots to #15 in PvPoke's rankings. Not sure if that will match reality, but I DO think it's time to see if you have a good PvP Quag to perhaps take out for a spin and see. It certainly has some exciting new potential it's never had before!
Seed Bomb - 55 power → 60 power, Energy Cost Increased. The only thing on this list that's not a straight upgrade, getting the same damage boost as Mud Bomb but increased cost to go with it... mostly, I feel, as a backdoor way to bring Trevenant down a bit. (And indeed, PvPoke has dropped Trev 25 slots from #10 to #35 in Ultra League, and down nearly 70 slots in Great League from Top 10 to outside the Top 70!) I certainly don't think Trevor will be going away -- it still breaks several cores across multiple Leagues -- but this is undoubtedly a hit. In Great League, it looks like it's now at a disadvantage against things it used to be able to beat like Walrein, Talonflame, Alolan Marowak, Sableye, and even Toxicroak. The hit is a bit less severe in Ultra League (where it can hang in longer to somewhat compensate for the increased energy needed), but it does still lose former wins like Jellicent and the re-buffed Nidoqueen. Most of the rest of the collateral damage will be felt in Little League, where several notable things have Seed Bomb (like Bulbasaur, Exeggcute, Oddish, etc.). Note much of note in bigger Leagues, though it IS noteworthy that WHIMSICOTT is getting Seed Bomb for the first time. And yes, I think it DOES become the favorite in most circumstances over existing Grass Knot, despite the latter being a "better" move (50 energy for 90 damage) and using that to get a couple unique wins still like Diggersby and Lickitung, because Seed Bomb brings new bait potential to set up big Moonblast wins over Cresselia, Pelipper, Toxicroak, Vigoroth, and Trevenant. Not sure Whimsie is suddenly going to bust out in Open Great League or anything, but I think it's very safe to say it just became a bit scarier and more versatile in Limited metas for sure.
And there are all the actual move "rebalances". Now to wrap it up real quick with a final list of existing moves now assigned to new Pokémon!
PROBOPASS is in some ways similar to Defense Deoxys, in that it has long had three charge moves that seemed almost interchangeable in overall performance. Rock Slide is pretty standard for Probo, and most folks also run it with Thunderbolt, but it's so lackluster than even Magnet Bomb has always hung around as a viable alternative. Well that changes now, as its bulk allows it to make good use of new addition Zap Cannon. I think it and Rock Slide are the new standard, along with Spark to power them out, and that combo brings in new wins over Sableye and Umbreon, along with wider margins of victory over things it just scraped past before like Cresselia and Bastiodon. Probo used to escape them both with less than 10 HP, but now waddles away with quite a bit more than that. Not sure if this will send it up the charts (Bastiodon itself is still usually preferred), but it IS a more intriguing alternative now.
Speaking of funky Rock types, HEATRAN can learn Earth Power now! But uh... you still don't want it, sorry. At least give it Incinerate, Niantic... c'mon!
A MUCH more interesting Rock type is CRADILY, now getting some more speed with Rock Slide as a new alternative to Stone Edge. In my first blush analysis on the day of these many announced changes, I speculated that Cradily may want both Rock charge moves going forward, as it still beat things like Lanturn and even Swampert without needing Grass Knot. But in hindsight... nah, I think you want to instead just swap out Edge for Slide and be done with it. Keeping this short and sweet, here are some of my findings when comparing these side by side (by side): Grass Knot is absolutely needed to beat Diggersby, and is obviously the surest way to beat Waters and Ground (and/or Rock) types in general (including having ANY shot at beating up things like Galarian Stunfisk and Bastiodon). The raw power of Stone Edge is still the best way to punch out things like Alolan Ninetales, Lickitung, and Shadow Victreebel. But the speed of Rock Slide (10 less energy than Edge) adds the potential to now handle stuff like Cresselia, Alolan Marowak, Sableye, Venusaur, and most notably, Noctowl. That's right... Cradily now becomes a handy way to handle Lanturn AND Noctowl, among many others, and can also beat popular Sableye as well. Corebreaker potential on the rise. Dilly dilly!
Look, URSALUNA continues to disappoint and likely always will until it gets a better fast move than Tackle. I know it, you know it, basically everyone but Niantic (and maybe TPCi) knows it. But as I wrote when Luna was first released, Ice Punch at least gives it the most bite of the three main elemental Punches, and until now it was the only one Ursaluna could not learn. Now it can! That gives it a bit more reach in Master League (the one League where it currently has any real play at all) with all the Dragons already. Specifically, Ice Punch allows it to now consistently beat Garchomp and Landorus, so that's nice. But come on, Niantic. Give the people what they want!.
Let's be honest: the addition of Brutal Swing to the arsenal of TYRANITAR is more a cause of celebration for raiding than it is for PvP. (New top Dark type in PvE, I hear!) But yes, it DOES help in PvP too. Tyranitar has the size to work in Master League, but even with Brutal Swing, it's still an awkward fit. The one place I have seen it pop up here and there is actually in Great League, albeit in Limited metas only. While those opportunities are relatively rare, I am happy to report that Brutal Swing is a noted improvement over former best Crunch, adding on wins you would expect of a Dark type (Sableye, Cofagrigus, Jellicent) and a few you might not expect (Drapion, Toxapex, and finally it can beat Altaria!). Still more niche than meta, but at least it's an improving niche!
And finally, we come to humble little EMOLGA, and the first non-Community Day recipient of Acrobatics. Long-time (or even some short-time!) readers have surely seen me write many times about Aerial Ace. It's a passable move -- barely -- dealing 55 damage for 45 energy. Boooooring, but it usually works JUST enough to not be total trash. It's a move I would LOVE to see buffed a little at some point, but it's also a move currently assigned to a massive number of Pokémon, and unlikely to change unless Niantic wants to REALLY shake up PvP. And like way too many Pokémon, poor Emolga has long been stuck with dull old Ace as its only Flying move, leaving what should be an exciting option languishing in obscurity. But now, finally, this mighty mouse may be about to soar! Just look at the HUGE names it can now beat: Medicham. Lickitung. Sableye. Shadow Swampert. Trevenant. Shadow Alolan Ninetales. And Cresselia and even Froslass for good measure. Those are some really big names, folks. Did Emolga just go from being afterthought behind Zapdos to passing it completely? I think it may have! If, like me, you've been holding on to a good one and just biding your time... well, that time is now, my friend! ⚡
Speaking of time, though... it's up! The new season is here! So we're gonna wrap it up right here for now. I hope this was as helpful a read as it was LONG. 🙃
Until next time, you can find me on Twitter or Patreon. Or please feel free to comment here with your own thoughts or questions and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
Stay safe out there, Pokéfriends. Best of luck this season, and catch you next time!

GO Battle League Season 15 is upon us, and along with it, our now-customary move rebalance! What's new, what's improved, what's good, bad, or ugly coming out the other side? Let's dive right in and see!
As per usual, Niantic has made us wait until the 11th hour for information on this coming season. (Thanks, Niantic... love you too! 😝) As is NOT usual for them of late, the rebalance taking place at the start of this new GBL season is massive, with no less than thirty three Pokémon being directly affected. Needless to say, this is going to be a lengthy analysis, so let's just dive right into it, shall we?

A FAIR WIND, OR GALE FORCE WINDS?

It might seem odd to lead off with a move given to only two new recipients, but CLEFABLE is no ordinary recipient. It has faded further and further into obscurity over time as other Fairies have risen up around it, having dropped out of the Top 5 Fairies in Ultra League and almost out of the Top 10 in Great League. It's still decently bulky, and still comes with the awesome Meteor Mash, which is not only cheaper than most charge moves found on various Charmers (that don't rhyme with "Aloe Van Pine Nails"), but is very widely unresisted and, critically in themed Cups where Clefable is eligible, super effective versus fellow Fairies, often delivering a knockout blow. The problem, of course, is that like other Charmers, you're unlikely to reach it in multiples, since Charm only generates a way below average 2.0 Energy Per Turn (EPT), tied for worst energy generation in the game. It also has Psychic for coverage, or Moonblast for big STAB damage, but the likelihood of reaching any of those in a critical spot is rather low since Charm is just SO slow to get there. So it has sat, languishing, as other interesting Charmers have come along and is now, at best, just part of a growing pack of similiar Pokémon.
That ALL changes with the addition of Fairy Wind and its 4.5 EPT. Not only does this allow it to finally break away from the pack and make its own unique mark, but it works REALLY well with its moves. Spamming a Meteor Mash every 6 seconds (or thanks to carryover energy, just 5 seconds between the second and third Mash) sounds pretty good to me! And indeed, as compared to Charm, you can see immediate improvement in Great League, with new wins against Noctowl (!!!), Azumarill, Froslass, Diggersby, Alolan Ninetales, and somehow even Fairy slayer Shadow Victreebel by slamming it with two Meteor Mashes. Even after all that, though, it remains underwater overall as far as win/loss record goes, though beating Medicham and Noctowl and all else that you'd expect of a good Fairy give it some great corebreaking potential.
For the eye-popping numbers, we actually turn to Ultra League, where Clef turns from this into this. Yes, that IS more than double its former win total (and a jump from under 30% winrate to now 60%!), with those new wins coming versus Walrein, A-Ninetales, Sylveon, Aurorus, Cobalion, Dubwool, Snorlax, Drapion, DDeoxys, and even resists-all-of-Clefable's-moves Escavalier! And if its relatively high XL cost is scaring you, fear not... you can build a hundo to 2499 CP and miss out only on Walrein and Greedent, for what that's worth. Put simply, Clefable is one of the biggest winners in this rebalance, moving from a previous rank of #145 in Open UL all the way up now to #28, with Tapu Fini being the only Fairy ranked higher!

• More of a footnote is TOGETIC, which now also learns Fairy Wind, and boy did it need that. Previously having to rely on the mostly awful Hidden Power (in which case you usually had to hope to get lucky with Flying type H.P.) or the subpar Extrasensory, it was left looking quite pitiful. But now, at least it could be spice in the right meta, maybe.
  
• WIGGLYTUFF did not get Fairy Wind, but it is receiving Disarming Voice, a move I've been wishing would be more widely distributed for years. A Fairy-type clone of moves like Psyshock, Magnet Bomb, and Foul Play, it's a more-than-passable move, and quietly the cheapest one that Fairy has available...15 less energy than Play Rough and Moonblast, and better Damage Per Energy {DPE} than the former. Anyway, seeing as Wigglytuff currently relies on Play Rough, Voice likely now slots in as its replacement for a little more shield pressure and new wins like Azumarill and Lickitung. The needle doesn't move too much, but the improvement is still appreciated!
  
• PRIMARINA also gets Voice, but it doesn't really help it... yet. Prima IS a little underrated in Master League, where its Water typing is much more help (resisting Ice, Fire, Water) than hindrance (very little Grass and Electric around to exploit it). But it won't really take off until it also eventually gets Hydro Cannon... sometime in 2025? At that point, it will appreciate having cheap Disarming Voice alongside Cannon more, I think.
  

LONG STORY SHORT, Fairy Wind Clefable is one of those rather rare overnight sensations that could see an immediate usage spike in Ultra League and as a nice corebreaker in Great League (the pickup against Noctowl really pushing it over the top). It really appreciates the extra energy to spam charge moves, and has just enough variety between Meteor Mash, Psychic (the move!), and Moonblast to keep the opponent guessing and shielding when they really don't want to. The other Fairies with new toys (Togetic and Wigglytuff especially) appreciate small bumps in performance, but are unlikely to suddenly appear where they weren't already.

DRILL RUNNIN' 🔥

As with Fairy Wind, there are only two new recipients of Drill Run, but both are very interesting.
We'll start with ALOLAN SANDSLASH. It sees some play already in both Great (including the Shadow variant and Ultra Leagues, usually with former Community Day move Shadow Claw to give it a unique profile, and spammy Ice Punch and typically Bulldoze for coverage. Bulldoze has excellent coverage (primarily versus Rocks, Steels, and Fires that give A-Slash a lot of trouble otherwise), but isn't a very good move (60 energy for only 80 damage). Drill Run is a strict upgrade, dealing the same 80 Ground-type damage for only 45 energy, a big savings.
Looking simply at simulation numbers, Drill Run doesn't seem to be a great improvement in Great or Ultra, with just occasional new wins popping up like UL Scizor or GL Alolan Marowak in certain shielding scenarios. But this goes beyond the numbers. Those who already use and love A-Slash will greatly appreciate the extra pressure that comes with Drill Run, as it can now be sprung for just 5 more energy than Ice Punch, making each shielding decision that much sweatier for the opponent. Even without STAB, Drill Run still deals quite a bit more damage than Ice Punch versus neutral targets, so this isn't just for strict coverage either. In every way, this makes Alolan Sandslash better, and better at covering its backside. I think players that don't already use A-Slash may come to better appreciate and respect it now too, and perhaps not just in Limited metas!
Perhaps even more interesting (and, frankly, unexpected) is DEWGONG, the poor WateIce type that has NEVER had a move rebalance other than taking its two best moves (Ice Shard and Icy Wind) away. Niantic has finally given it a LOT of love in this update, with Drill Run providing new coverage, and new move Liquidation finally giving it a viable Water move too. (Water Pulse and Aqua Jet are both terrible, folks... so much so that I've always recommended Blizzard as Dewgong's second move. For example, did you know that it tends to lose to Alolan Marowak with super effective Pulse but actually wins with resisted Blizzard?!) Anyway, I do think you want to definitely keep Icy Wind, so then your choice becomes Drill Run to have a shot at things like Froslass, Toxicroak, Lanturn (with Water Gun), and the aforementioned Alolan Marowak, or Liquidation to better outrace Skarmory and Alolan Ninetales? Either way, you get things like Azumarill and Dunsparce now, and still beat things that don't show in those sims like Swampert and Sableye by remaining fully commited to Icy Wind spam. And while you don't see a lot of new Rock or Steel or Fire wins popping up, Drill Run especially gives them all serious pause, forcing them to shield where they really never had to worry about it much before. (Because, again, Water Pulse is awful.)
So not really a great case for Liquidation here, but this is at least a way to transition into covering that move more fully next!
LONG STORY SHORT, both Dewgong and Alolan Sandslash immediately get better (and get better coverage) with Drill Run in the mix. I think it will be their preferred secondary/closing move going forward, and both will see a bump in play.

LIQUIDATION... GOING OUT OF BUSINESS ALREADY?

So about that new move Liquidation. It's a good if not fantastic move, an exact clone of Crunch... same cost (45 energy), damage (70), and potential debuff (30% chance to reduce the opponent's Defense). Not game breaking, but very, very solid.
But the real question is... do any of the things that recieve it really want it, and if so, do any of them notably improve in PvP?
I'm gonna save you some time (and me some characters!) by immediately pushing many of its recipients right off the raft.

• I think CLOYSTER actually prefers to hold on to a big closer like Hydro Pump rather than Liquidation, preferring to soften things up with Icy Wind and then go in for the kill. Pass.
  
• Similarly, all of the following prefer to keep existing movesets: SAMUROTT (Hydro Cannon/Megahorn), CARRACOSTA (Body Slam/Surf), BEARTIC (Ice Punch/Aqua Tail), EELEKTROSS (Dragon Claw/Crunch). All remain fringe at best.
  
• VAPOREON basically views Liquidation as a sidegrade to existing Scald, though Liquidation is NOT Legacy as Scald is, so it's worth it for any Vapes that don't have its old Community Day move. But Vaporeon remains mostly on the outside looking in at better Water types in various Leagues. No real boost here.
  
• GOLDUCK sees a slight bump with Liquidation, but remains just a spice play, at best.
  
• There is a reason you have never seen FLOATZEL in PvP... it has terrible charge moves. Bad, bad moves like Swift and Aqua Jet, with Hydro Pump as a passable closer but stymied due to average-at-best energy gains from Water Gun or Waterfall. Liquidation is in some ways just what the doctor ordered, but uh... Floatzel still sinks in PvP.
  
• ARMALDO remains a lost cause as well. If you want a GOOD Rocky Bug, use Crustle. If you want a spice one, go with the new Kleavor. If you want to just tank your ELO, THEN maybe consider Armaldo. That's about it though, even with the new move.
  

Man, quite a bummer, right? Decent move, but really nothing that gets it stands to benefit in a way that will impact PvP. So moving on then to... wait, what? I missed one? Oh... OH! So I did. And thankfully, we can end this section on a good note... because GOLISOPOD just became a bit more interesting.
Remember that when it was first released, it was a completely lost cause, with Fury Cutter, Metal Claw, and Waterfall as its clumsy fast moves, and underwhelming X-Scissor, **Aerial Ace, and somehow even worse Aqua Jet as its only charge moves. That left it in a very sad state. Eventually, it acquired Shadow Claw, which made it at least slightly interesting. And now comes the charge move it's been begging for, with Liquidation elevating it into spice territory, at the very least. Now you can potentially beat things like Charizard, Nidoqueen, Alolan Sandslash, Alolan Ninetales (Powder Snow), Talonflame, Cobalion, and Sylveon that you couldn't before, though even as bad as Aerial Ace is, giving it up means you generally now lose some Grasses like Venusaur and Virizion. Still though, things are looking up for Golisopod!
LONG STORY SHORT, while Liquidation is actually a nice addition to Water's arsenal (a clone of Crunch, including the debuff chance), the only thing that gets it initially that really looks to benefit is Golisopod. Stay tuned to what may get it down the road, though... most of its current recipients just have more problems than Liquidation alone can solve.

THE LEAF AGE BEGINS?

Probably haven't seen Bullet Punch in PvP much, have you? Scizor and Metagross use it, and uh... that's about the extent of it. But it's actually a pretty good PvP fast move, with the average 3.0 Damage Per Turn (DPT) but above average energy generation (3.5 EPT). And now here comes Leafage, an exact clone of Bullet Punch for the Grass typing. The number of things that get it is quite a bit smaller than Liquidation (only three evolutionary lines), but I think this is a clear case of quality over quantity in Leafage's favor.

• I could write an entire article on the injustices done to DECIDUEYE in Pokémon GO. All its interesting moves in MSG, and here it sits with underpowered Shadow Sneak, overpriced Energy Ball, and big but risky closer Brave Bird, and all locked behind low-energy Razor Leaf or arguably worst fast move in the game Astonish. #JusticeForDecidueye! While I do still hope for an eventual and LONG overdue buff to Astonish, for now the addition of Leafage should be a big help, right? Weeeeeeeell..... I mean, yes, it is most certainly better, and will become even a bit moreso when it eventually gets Frenzy Plant. But clearly, it's problems are not JUST the fast moves. Heck, pre-evolution DARTRIX (who has also been trapped behind Razor Leaf) even looks better than Deci in the here and now, thanks in large part to having Seed Bomb as a more workable second charge move to set up Brave Bird. It does seem that even though ROWLETT also gets Leafage, it may still prefer to keep existing Razor Leaf down in Little League, where Razor Leaf can admittedly be particularly dominant.
  
• LURANTIS (and Little League pre-evolution FOMANTIS) operates nicely right now as sort of a Jack of all trades with Fury Cutter (and its Bug damage output) powering up Leaf Blade and Superpower (well, Grass Knot in Fomantis' case). Superpower allows for some nutty wins like Bastiodon, Galarian Stunfisk, and excecuted properly, even Registeel, clearly showing Lurantis' appeal. So does Leafage help or disrupt the good Lurantis has already got going? Eh, I think we're gonna call it a sidegrade, though a tasty one for sure. Lurantis does give up a couple things where the effectiveness of Fury Cutter wins the day (Cresselia, Shadow Victreebel) and loses a little speed, which flips Shadow Alolan Sandslash to a loss. (Luratnis cannot hit a Leaf Blade AND followon Superpower in time with Leafage like it can with Fury Cutter.) But Leafage is able to carve out new wins like Shadow Alolan Ninetales and Pelipper with superior neutral fast move damage (as opposed to resisted Bug damage), and also can outrace Walrein far more reliably. So not an upgrade, but a nice sidegrade like this can add some disruption into appropriate metas just fine.
  
• Speaking of disruption, let's check out ABOMASNOW. Obviously it runs more as an Ice than a Grass, humming along nicely in multiple metas with Powder Snow and Weather Ball (Ice) and Energy Ball for a big Grass closer when the situation calls for it. And more than likely, it will mostly continue in that configuration moving forward. BUT, Leafage may be preferred in certain metas now, at least, and not just because it now slams the door on Water types (instead of sometimes merely scraping by with Powder Snow). In Great League, where ShadowBama is usually preferred, Powder Snow continues to shine out, but it's worth noting that while Leafage is an overall downgrade, most of the wins it gives up are versus Flyers (Altaria, Noctowl, Skarmory, Mandibuzz), with new losses to Umbreon and Venusaur as the most notable exceptions. Leafage DOES make some new key contributions like Powder Alolan Ninetales and Galarian Stunfisk that may come more to the fore in Limited metas with, say, fewer Flyers? Just saying. In Ultra League, the biggest knock against Leafage is that it drops the Giratinas (as compared to Powder Snow), but otherwise Leafage makes a pretty strong case with pickups of Poliwrath, Walrein, and Alolan Ninetales (with Powder Snow OR Charm). I think Leafage deserves some real consideration at Ultra League level!
  

LONG STORY SHORT, no huge improvements to be found with Leafage, but it does earn a rightful place as a robust sidegrade consideration for the Lurantis and Abomasnow lines (particularly with Ultra League Aboma). It's an upgrade for the Rowlett/Dartrix/Decidueye line, though Deci itself remains middling at best until it one day gets Frenzy Plant (or just some more synergistic charge moves in general!). Leafage SHOULD start popping up here and there in PvP soon, moreso than Liquidation likely will.

JUST A BRUSH FIRE, REALLY

Honestly, I expected a number of things to get Mystical Fire after it recently entered the game, but for now, Niantic chose to distribute it to only two new Pokémon:

• As I mentioned in my analysis on Mystical Fire back during Delphox Community Day, DRIFBLIM is an intriguing choice. Mystical Fire and existing Blim coverage move Icy Wind share the same stats aside from typing, so this is almost the very definition of sidegrade... against neutral targets they do the exact same thing, so it just comes down to effectiveness. If Blim is facing something burnable (like a Steel, Ice, or Bug type), it will prefer to have Mystical Fire. For things weak to Ice, like Flyers and Dragons and Grounds, obviously it will want to be packing Icy Wind instead. (Grasses are weak to both Fire and Ice, so usually no change there, aside from things like Abomasnow with a subtyping that favors one or the other... in that case, Mystical Fire is double super effective and Icy Wind is merely neutral.) I'm not going to bother with the sims, as they're close to indistinguishable at a high level, but I WILL note that Mystical Fire can potentially beat Galarian Stunfisk at Ultra League level, and more definitely beats G-Fisk AND A-Slash, Skarmory, and even Registeel at Great League level, none of which Icy Wind can realistically hope to replicate. (Its only standouts are things like Gliscor.) Yes, giving up Icy Wind means completely abandoning hope versus things like Ghost-resistant Pidgeot and especially Noctowl, but overall? I think Drifblim might be getting much hotter soon, in several senses of the word! 🔥
  
• Not nearly as exciting, I admit, but note that LITWICK also gets Mystical Fire. It's really only for Little League use, and has been an interesting but lesser-used Fire type, falling behind things like Vulpix, Growlithe, and Tepig thanks to them having some good neutral coverage, while Litwick has been stuck with just Flame Charge and two other rather Fire charge moves. Mystical Fire slots in as a nearly straight upgrade with pickups that include Wynaut, Vullaby, Obstagoon (for LL Cups where it's allowed), and... Vulpix, regardless of which fast move 'Pix is using. Something to look forward to in the next Little League rotation!
  

LONG STORY SHORT, Mystical Fire IS likely the default coverage move of choice for Drifblim going forward, just because of the number of burnable things (as opposed to freezeable things) in its respective metas, Great League especially. Except to see Blim soar up a little higher than it has in a while. It's also a nice upgrade for Litwick, who should finally emerge as a true Fire contender in Little League formats.

ODDS AND ENDS

Going to put everything else together in this last main section, but don't mistake that to mean they're less important... quite the contrary! Just doing this because these are all one-offs, as opposed to the changes above which directly affected multiple Pokémon recipients.
Before I dive into the specific move additions, let's briefly review the existing moves that are being buffed or nerfed in this update.

• Icicle Spear - 60 power → 65 power. Obviously this only affects WALREIN (for now), and is obviously a strict upgrade, since the cost and all else remains the same, just more damage. Specifically, at a high level, I see Walrein picking up things like Skarmory and Umbreon (non-Shadow) and Trevenant, Pelipper, and Azumarill (Shadow) in Great League, and stuff like Shadow Alolan Ninetales and Virizion in Ultra League. So yeah... you didn't need me to tell you this was an improvement, but maybe that helps you decide how much of an improvement and whether you want to turn back to Wally if you ever turned away before. I'd say Great League in particular has reason to fear it a bit more again.
  
• Poison Fang - 40 power → 45 power. More things affected by this than Icicle Spear, but obviously most of you just want to know about NIDOQUEEN, so in the interest of time and... well, interest, we'll just highlight her for now. Again, you don't need me to tell you this only makes things with Poison Fang better, but HOW much better? Honestly not too much changes in Great League (as far as straight wins a losses go, though this is undoubtedly scarier now!), but in Ultra League, I see new wins for Queen versus things like Charizard, Pidgeot, Cresselia, Dubwool, Obstagoon, AND Guzzlord, among others, so this is no small tweak! Might Nidoqueen be "back"? Only time will tell. Admittedly, what made it SO scary in the past was the cheaper cost of Poison Fang, and that hasn't changed, so I don't see it returning to full dominance like she once enjoyed. I also think she was treated rather harshly even before this buff... she didn't fall off quite as hard as many made it out to be. This will reveal that more fully... she's not so much "back" as much as I think she never really left. Also keep in mind things like GOLBAT/CROBAT and SALAZZLE/SALANDIT** that stand to benefit from this as well!
  
• Rollout - 4 power → 5 power. So low power that I can tell you this won't be a big shift, but obviously it DOES help. DUNSPARCE picks up a potential win over Shadow Alolan Ninetales (hey, Rollout is super effective, so....), and MILTANK a new win versus Shadow Swampert, of all things, and sometimes (Water Gun) Lanturn when utilizing Ice Beam instead of my personal recommendation of Thunderbolt (which beats Lanturn as well). It tends to prefer Tackle in Ultra League, though newly buffed Rollout is MUCH improved now with new wins versus Cresselia, Drapion, Umbreon, Alolan Muk, AND Walrein. Perhaps Tackle won't be the default now? As for ALOLAN GOLEM, Volt Switch just remains a much better move in nearly every scenario and meta. Stick with that, I say, and get all the Rock damage you need from the charge moves instead. 🪨
  
• Mud Bomb - 55 power → 60 power. The two big ones that come to mind are TOXICROAK and WHISCASH, the latter of which honestly needed a boost like this. However, this small a bump looks and feels like more of a "win more" where they already won more than anything. The only notable new win I see (at the high level this massive rebalance is demanding of little old me!) is Toxicroak versus Trevenant, though I think that's more due to Trevenant's nerf (which we'll get to in a moment) than Toxicroak's resisted Mud Bomb dealing a tiny bit more damage. (And upon further review, it may be neither of those and instead just come down to move timing.. but leaving Trevor in here as it's a good setup for later.) The big winner here is actually QUAGSIRE, who FINALLY gets a charge move cheaper than 55 energy to reach the same spam potential as its fellow Mud Boys. It's hard to show how this improves things in simulations, as they actually tend to favor Earthquake in many situations (such as in 1v1 shielding, where Quake shows additional wins against things like Azu, Sable, Swampert, and Umbreon), but the difference is more obvious when you go 2v2 shielding, and the extra spam of Mud Bomb shows out with new wins that include Froslass, Jellicent, Toxicroak, Shadow Alolan Ninetales, and Shadow Walrein. I actually don't know if this will actually bump up Quagsire's useage or not, though it's shot up about 60 slots to #15 in PvPoke's rankings. Not sure if that will match reality, but I DO think it's time to see if you have a good PvP Quag to perhaps take out for a spin and see. It certainly has some exciting new potential it's never had before!
  
• Seed Bomb - 55 power → 60 power, Energy Cost Increased. The only thing on this list that's not a straight upgrade, getting the same damage boost as Mud Bomb but increased cost to go with it... mostly, I feel, as a backdoor way to bring Trevenant down a bit. (And indeed, PvPoke has dropped Trev 25 slots from #10 to #35 in Ultra League, and down nearly 70 slots in Great League from Top 10 to outside the Top 70!) I certainly don't think Trevor will be going away -- it still breaks several cores across multiple Leagues -- but this is undoubtedly a hit. In Great League, it looks like it's now at a disadvantage against things it used to be able to beat like Walrein, Talonflame, Alolan Marowak, Sableye, and even Toxicroak. The hit is a bit less severe in Ultra League (where it can hang in longer to somewhat compensate for the increased energy needed), but it does still lose former wins like Jellicent and the re-buffed Nidoqueen. Most of the rest of the collateral damage will be felt in Little League, where several notable things have Seed Bomb (like Bulbasaur, Exeggcute, Oddish, etc.). Note much of note in bigger Leagues, though it IS noteworthy that WHIMSICOTT is getting Seed Bomb for the first time. And yes, I think it DOES become the favorite in most circumstances over existing Grass Knot, despite the latter being a "better" move (50 energy for 90 damage) and using that to get a couple unique wins still like Diggersby and Lickitung, because Seed Bomb brings new bait potential to set up big Moonblast wins over Cresselia, Pelipper, Toxicroak, Vigoroth, and Trevenant. Not sure Whimsie is suddenly going to bust out in Open Great League or anything, but I think it's very safe to say it just became a bit scarier and more versatile in Limited metas for sure.
  

And there are all the actual move "rebalances". Now to wrap it up real quick with a final list of existing moves now assigned to new Pokémon!

• PROBOPASS is in some ways similar to Defense Deoxys, in that it has long had three charge moves that seemed almost interchangeable in overall performance. Rock Slide is pretty standard for Probo, and most folks also run it with Thunderbolt, but it's so lackluster than even Magnet Bomb has always hung around as a viable alternative. Well that changes now, as its bulk allows it to make good use of new addition Zap Cannon. I think it and Rock Slide are the new standard, along with Spark to power them out, and that combo brings in new wins over Sableye and Umbreon, along with wider margins of victory over things it just scraped past before like Cresselia and Bastiodon. Probo used to escape them both with less than 10 HP, but now waddles away with quite a bit more than that. Not sure if this will send it up the charts (Bastiodon itself is still usually preferred), but it IS a more intriguing alternative now.
  
• Speaking of funky Rock types, HEATRAN can learn Earth Power now! But uh... you still don't want it, sorry. At least give it Incinerate, Niantic... c'mon!
  
• A MUCH more interesting Rock type is CRADILY, now getting some more speed with Rock Slide as a new alternative to Stone Edge. In my first blush analysis on the day of these many announced changes, I speculated that Cradily may want both Rock charge moves going forward, as it still beat things like Lanturn and even Swampert without needing Grass Knot. But in hindsight... nah, I think you want to instead just swap out Edge for Slide and be done with it. Keeping this short and sweet, here are some of my findings when comparing these side by side (by side): Grass Knot is absolutely needed to beat Diggersby, and is obviously the surest way to beat Waters and Ground (and/or Rock) types in general (including having ANY shot at beating up things like Galarian Stunfisk and Bastiodon). The raw power of Stone Edge is still the best way to punch out things like Alolan Ninetales, Lickitung, and Shadow Victreebel. But the speed of Rock Slide (10 less energy than Edge) adds the potential to now handle stuff like Cresselia, Alolan Marowak, Sableye, Venusaur, and most notably, Noctowl. That's right... Cradily now becomes a handy way to handle Lanturn AND Noctowl, among many others, and can also beat popular Sableye as well. Corebreaker potential on the rise. Dilly dilly!
  
• Look, URSALUNA continues to disappoint and likely always will until it gets a better fast move than Tackle. I know it, you know it, basically everyone but Niantic (and maybe TPCi) knows it. But as I wrote when Luna was first released, Ice Punch at least gives it the most bite of the three main elemental Punches, and until now it was the only one Ursaluna could not learn. Now it can! That gives it a bit more reach in Master League (the one League where it currently has any real play at all) with all the Dragons already. Specifically, Ice Punch allows it to now consistently beat Garchomp and Landorus, so that's nice. But come on, Niantic. Give the people what they want!.
  
• Let's be honest: the addition of Brutal Swing to the arsenal of TYRANITAR is more a cause of celebration for raiding than it is for PvP. (New top Dark type in PvE, I hear!) But yes, it DOES help in PvP too. Tyranitar has the size to work in Master League, but even with Brutal Swing, it's still an awkward fit. The one place I have seen it pop up here and there is actually in Great League, albeit in Limited metas only. While those opportunities are relatively rare, I am happy to report that Brutal Swing is a noted improvement over former best Crunch, adding on wins you would expect of a Dark type (Sableye, Cofagrigus, Jellicent) and a few you might not expect (Drapion, Toxapex, and finally it can beat Altaria!). Still more niche than meta, but at least it's an improving niche!
  
• And finally, we come to humble little EMOLGA, and the first non-Community Day recipient of Acrobatics. Long-time (or even some short-time!) readers have surely seen me write many times about Aerial Ace. It's a passable move -- barely -- dealing 55 damage for 45 energy. Boooooring, but it usually works JUST enough to not be total trash. It's a move I would LOVE to see buffed a little at some point, but it's also a move currently assigned to a massive number of Pokémon, and unlikely to change unless Niantic wants to REALLY shake up PvP. And like way too many Pokémon, poor Emolga has long been stuck with dull old Ace as its only Flying move, leaving what should be an exciting option languishing in obscurity. But now, finally, this mighty mouse may be about to soar! Just look at the HUGE names it can now beat: Medicham. Lickitung. Sableye. Shadow Swampert. Trevenant. Shadow Alolan Ninetales. And Cresselia and even Froslass for good measure. Those are some really big names, folks. Did Emolga just go from being afterthought behind Zapdos to passing it completely? I think it may have! If, like me, you've been holding on to a good one and just biding your time... well, that time is now, my friend! ⚡
  

Speaking of time, though... it's up! The new season is here! So we're gonna wrap it up right here for now. I hope this was as helpful a read as it was LONG. 🙃
Until next time, you can find me on Twitter or Patreon. Or please feel free to comment here with your own thoughts or questions and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
Stay safe out there, Pokéfriends. Best of luck this season, and catch you next time!

GO Battle League Season 15 is upon us, and along with it, our now-customary move rebalance! What's new, what's improved, what's good, bad, or ugly coming out the other side? Let's dive right in and see!
As per usual, Niantic has made us wait until the 11th hour for information on this coming season. (Thanks, Niantic... love you too! 😝) As is NOT usual for them of late, the rebalance taking place at the start of this new GBL season is massive, with no less than thirty three Pokémon being directly affected. Needless to say, this is going to be a lengthy analysis, so let's just dive right into it, shall we?

A FAIR WIND, OR GALE FORCE WINDS?

It might seem odd to lead off with a move given to only two new recipients, but CLEFABLE is no ordinary recipient. It has faded further and further into obscurity over time as other Fairies have risen up around it, having dropped out of the Top 5 Fairies in Ultra League and almost out of the Top 10 in Great League. It's still decently bulky, and still comes with the awesome Meteor Mash, which is not only cheaper than most charge moves found on various Charmers (that don't rhyme with "Aloe Van Pine Nails"), but is very widely unresisted and, critically in themed Cups where Clefable is eligible, super effective versus fellow Fairies, often delivering a knockout blow. The problem, of course, is that like other Charmers, you're unlikely to reach it in multiples, since Charm only generates a way below average 2.0 Energy Per Turn (EPT), tied for worst energy generation in the game. It also has Psychic for coverage, or Moonblast for big STAB damage, but the likelihood of reaching any of those in a critical spot is rather low since Charm is just SO slow to get there. So it has sat, languishing, as other interesting Charmers have come along and is now, at best, just part of a growing pack of similiar Pokémon.
That ALL changes with the addition of Fairy Wind and its 4.5 EPT. Not only does this allow it to finally break away from the pack and make its own unique mark, but it works REALLY well with its moves. Spamming a Meteor Mash every 6 seconds (or thanks to carryover energy, just 5 seconds between the second and third Mash) sounds pretty good to me! And indeed, as compared to Charm, you can see immediate improvement in Great League, with new wins against Noctowl (!!!), Azumarill, Froslass, Diggersby, Alolan Ninetales, and somehow even Fairy slayer Shadow Victreebel by slamming it with two Meteor Mashes. Even after all that, though, it remains underwater overall as far as win/loss record goes, though beating Medicham and Noctowl and all else that you'd expect of a good Fairy give it some great corebreaking potential.
For the eye-popping numbers, we actually turn to Ultra League, where Clef turns from this into this. Yes, that IS more than double its former win total (and a jump from under 30% winrate to now 60%!), with those new wins coming versus Walrein, A-Ninetales, Sylveon, Aurorus, Cobalion, Dubwool, Snorlax, Drapion, DDeoxys, and even resists-all-of-Clefable's-moves Escavalier! And if its relatively high XL cost is scaring you, fear not... you can build a hundo to 2499 CP and miss out only on Walrein and Greedent, for what that's worth. Put simply, Clefable is one of the biggest winners in this rebalance, moving from a previous rank of #145 in Open UL all the way up now to #28, with Tapu Fini being the only Fairy ranked higher!

• More of a footnote is TOGETIC, which now also learns Fairy Wind, and boy did it need that. Previously having to rely on the mostly awful Hidden Power (in which case you usually had to hope to get lucky with Flying type H.P.) or the subpar Extrasensory, it was left looking quite pitiful. But now, at least it could be spice in the right meta, maybe.
  
• WIGGLYTUFF did not get Fairy Wind, but it is receiving Disarming Voice, a move I've been wishing would be more widely distributed for years. A Fairy-type clone of moves like Psyshock, Magnet Bomb, and Foul Play, it's a more-than-passable move, and quietly the cheapest one that Fairy has available...15 less energy than Play Rough and Moonblast, and better Damage Per Energy {DPE} than the former. Anyway, seeing as Wigglytuff currently relies on Play Rough, Voice likely now slots in as its replacement for a little more shield pressure and new wins like Azumarill and Lickitung. The needle doesn't move too much, but the improvement is still appreciated!
  
• PRIMARINA also gets Voice, but it doesn't really help it... yet. Prima IS a little underrated in Master League, where its Water typing is much more help (resisting Ice, Fire, Water) than hindrance (very little Grass and Electric around to exploit it). But it won't really take off until it also eventually gets Hydro Cannon... sometime in 2025? At that point, it will appreciate having cheap Disarming Voice alongside Cannon more, I think.
  

LONG STORY SHORT, Fairy Wind Clefable is one of those rather rare overnight sensations that could see an immediate usage spike in Ultra League and as a nice corebreaker in Great League (the pickup against Noctowl really pushing it over the top). It really appreciates the extra energy to spam charge moves, and has just enough variety between Meteor Mash, Psychic (the move!), and Moonblast to keep the opponent guessing and shielding when they really don't want to. The other Fairies with new toys (Togetic and Wigglytuff especially) appreciate small bumps in performance, but are unlikely to suddenly appear where they weren't already.

DRILL RUNNIN' 🔥

As with Fairy Wind, there are only two new recipients of Drill Run, but both are very interesting.
We'll start with ALOLAN SANDSLASH. It sees some play already in both Great (including the Shadow variant and Ultra Leagues, usually with former Community Day move Shadow Claw to give it a unique profile, and spammy Ice Punch and typically Bulldoze for coverage. Bulldoze has excellent coverage (primarily versus Rocks, Steels, and Fires that give A-Slash a lot of trouble otherwise), but isn't a very good move (60 energy for only 80 damage). Drill Run is a strict upgrade, dealing the same 80 Ground-type damage for only 45 energy, a big savings.
Looking simply at simulation numbers, Drill Run doesn't seem to be a great improvement in Great or Ultra, with just occasional new wins popping up like UL Scizor or GL Alolan Marowak in certain shielding scenarios. But this goes beyond the numbers. Those who already use and love A-Slash will greatly appreciate the extra pressure that comes with Drill Run, as it can now be sprung for just 5 more energy than Ice Punch, making each shielding decision that much sweatier for the opponent. Even without STAB, Drill Run still deals quite a bit more damage than Ice Punch versus neutral targets, so this isn't just for strict coverage either. In every way, this makes Alolan Sandslash better, and better at covering its backside. I think players that don't already use A-Slash may come to better appreciate and respect it now too, and perhaps not just in Limited metas!
Perhaps even more interesting (and, frankly, unexpected) is DEWGONG, the poor WateIce type that has NEVER had a move rebalance other than taking its two best moves (Ice Shard and Icy Wind) away. Niantic has finally given it a LOT of love in this update, with Drill Run providing new coverage, and new move Liquidation finally giving it a viable Water move too. (Water Pulse and Aqua Jet are both terrible, folks... so much so that I've always recommended Blizzard as Dewgong's second move. For example, did you know that it tends to lose to Alolan Marowak with super effective Pulse but actually wins with resisted Blizzard?!) Anyway, I do think you want to definitely keep Icy Wind, so then your choice becomes Drill Run to have a shot at things like Froslass, Toxicroak, Lanturn (with Water Gun), and the aforementioned Alolan Marowak, or Liquidation to better outrace Skarmory and Alolan Ninetales? Either way, you get things like Azumarill and Dunsparce now, and still beat things that don't show in those sims like Swampert and Sableye by remaining fully commited to Icy Wind spam. And while you don't see a lot of new Rock or Steel or Fire wins popping up, Drill Run especially gives them all serious pause, forcing them to shield where they really never had to worry about it much before. (Because, again, Water Pulse is awful.)
So not really a great case for Liquidation here, but this is at least a way to transition into covering that move more fully next!
LONG STORY SHORT, both Dewgong and Alolan Sandslash immediately get better (and get better coverage) with Drill Run in the mix. I think it will be their preferred secondary/closing move going forward, and both will see a bump in play.

LIQUIDATION... GOING OUT OF BUSINESS ALREADY?

So about that new move Liquidation. It's a good if not fantastic move, an exact clone of Crunch... same cost (45 energy), damage (70), and potential debuff (30% chance to reduce the opponent's Defense). Not game breaking, but very, very solid.
But the real question is... do any of the things that recieve it really want it, and if so, do any of them notably improve in PvP?
I'm gonna save you some time (and me some characters!) by immediately pushing many of its recipients right off the raft.

• I think CLOYSTER actually prefers to hold on to a big closer like Hydro Pump rather than Liquidation, preferring to soften things up with Icy Wind and then go in for the kill. Pass.
  
• Similarly, all of the following prefer to keep existing movesets: SAMUROTT (Hydro Cannon/Megahorn), CARRACOSTA (Body Slam/Surf), BEARTIC (Ice Punch/Aqua Tail), EELEKTROSS (Dragon Claw/Crunch). All remain fringe at best.
  
• VAPOREON basically views Liquidation as a sidegrade to existing Scald, though Liquidation is NOT Legacy as Scald is, so it's worth it for any Vapes that don't have its old Community Day move. But Vaporeon remains mostly on the outside looking in at better Water types in various Leagues. No real boost here.
  
• GOLDUCK sees a slight bump with Liquidation, but remains just a spice play, at best.
  
• There is a reason you have never seen FLOATZEL in PvP... it has terrible charge moves. Bad, bad moves like Swift and Aqua Jet, with Hydro Pump as a passable closer but stymied due to average-at-best energy gains from Water Gun or Waterfall. Liquidation is in some ways just what the doctor ordered, but uh... Floatzel still sinks in PvP.
  
• ARMALDO remains a lost cause as well. If you want a GOOD Rocky Bug, use Crustle. If you want a spice one, go with the new Kleavor. If you want to just tank your ELO, THEN maybe consider Armaldo. That's about it though, even with the new move.
  

Man, quite a bummer, right? Decent move, but really nothing that gets it stands to benefit in a way that will impact PvP. So moving on then to... wait, what? I missed one? Oh... OH! So I did. And thankfully, we can end this section on a good note... because GOLISOPOD just became a bit more interesting.
Remember that when it was first released, it was a completely lost cause, with Fury Cutter, Metal Claw, and Waterfall as its clumsy fast moves, and underwhelming X-Scissor, **Aerial Ace, and somehow even worse Aqua Jet as its only charge moves. That left it in a very sad state. Eventually, it acquired Shadow Claw, which made it at least slightly interesting. And now comes the charge move it's been begging for, with Liquidation elevating it into spice territory, at the very least. Now you can potentially beat things like Charizard, Nidoqueen, Alolan Sandslash, Alolan Ninetales (Powder Snow), Talonflame, Cobalion, and Sylveon that you couldn't before, though even as bad as Aerial Ace is, giving it up means you generally now lose some Grasses like Venusaur and Virizion. Still though, things are looking up for Golisopod!
LONG STORY SHORT, while Liquidation is actually a nice addition to Water's arsenal (a clone of Crunch, including the debuff chance), the only thing that gets it initially that really looks to benefit is Golisopod. Stay tuned to what may get it down the road, though... most of its current recipients just have more problems than Liquidation alone can solve.

THE LEAF AGE BEGINS?

Probably haven't seen Bullet Punch in PvP much, have you? Scizor and Metagross use it, and uh... that's about the extent of it. But it's actually a pretty good PvP fast move, with the average 3.0 Damage Per Turn (DPT) but above average energy generation (3.5 EPT). And now here comes Leafage, an exact clone of Bullet Punch for the Grass typing. The number of things that get it is quite a bit smaller than Liquidation (only three evolutionary lines), but I think this is a clear case of quality over quantity in Leafage's favor.

• I could write an entire article on the injustices done to DECIDUEYE in Pokémon GO. All its interesting moves in MSG, and here it sits with underpowered Shadow Sneak, overpriced Energy Ball, and big but risky closer Brave Bird, and all locked behind low-energy Razor Leaf or arguably worst fast move in the game Astonish. #JusticeForDecidueye! While I do still hope for an eventual and LONG overdue buff to Astonish, for now the addition of Leafage should be a big help, right? Weeeeeeeell..... I mean, yes, it is most certainly better, and will become even a bit moreso when it eventually gets Frenzy Plant. But clearly, it's problems are not JUST the fast moves. Heck, pre-evolution DARTRIX (who has also been trapped behind Razor Leaf) even looks better than Deci in the here and now, thanks in large part to having Seed Bomb as a more workable second charge move to set up Brave Bird. It does seem that even though ROWLETT also gets Leafage, it may still prefer to keep existing Razor Leaf down in Little League, where Razor Leaf can admittedly be particularly dominant.
  
• LURANTIS (and Little League pre-evolution FOMANTIS) operates nicely right now as sort of a Jack of all trades with Fury Cutter (and its Bug damage output) powering up Leaf Blade and Superpower (well, Grass Knot in Fomantis' case). Superpower allows for some nutty wins like Bastiodon, Galarian Stunfisk, and excecuted properly, even Registeel, clearly showing Lurantis' appeal. So does Leafage help or disrupt the good Lurantis has already got going? Eh, I think we're gonna call it a sidegrade, though a tasty one for sure. Lurantis does give up a couple things where the effectiveness of Fury Cutter wins the day (Cresselia, Shadow Victreebel) and loses a little speed, which flips Shadow Alolan Sandslash to a loss. (Luratnis cannot hit a Leaf Blade AND followon Superpower in time with Leafage like it can with Fury Cutter.) But Leafage is able to carve out new wins like Shadow Alolan Ninetales and Pelipper with superior neutral fast move damage (as opposed to resisted Bug damage), and also can outrace Walrein far more reliably. So not an upgrade, but a nice sidegrade like this can add some disruption into appropriate metas just fine.
  
• Speaking of disruption, let's check out ABOMASNOW. Obviously it runs more as an Ice than a Grass, humming along nicely in multiple metas with Powder Snow and Weather Ball (Ice) and Energy Ball for a big Grass closer when the situation calls for it. And more than likely, it will mostly continue in that configuration moving forward. BUT, Leafage may be preferred in certain metas now, at least, and not just because it now slams the door on Water types (instead of sometimes merely scraping by with Powder Snow). In Great League, where ShadowBama is usually preferred, Powder Snow continues to shine out, but it's worth noting that while Leafage is an overall downgrade, most of the wins it gives up are versus Flyers (Altaria, Noctowl, Skarmory, Mandibuzz), with new losses to Umbreon and Venusaur as the most notable exceptions. Leafage DOES make some new key contributions like Powder Alolan Ninetales and Galarian Stunfisk that may come more to the fore in Limited metas with, say, fewer Flyers? Just saying. In Ultra League, the biggest knock against Leafage is that it drops the Giratinas (as compared to Powder Snow), but otherwise Leafage makes a pretty strong case with pickups of Poliwrath, Walrein, and Alolan Ninetales (with Powder Snow OR Charm). I think Leafage deserves some real consideration at Ultra League level!
  

LONG STORY SHORT, no huge improvements to be found with Leafage, but it does earn a rightful place as a robust sidegrade consideration for the Lurantis and Abomasnow lines (particularly with Ultra League Aboma). It's an upgrade for the Rowlett/Dartrix/Decidueye line, though Deci itself remains middling at best until it one day gets Frenzy Plant (or just some more synergistic charge moves in general!). Leafage SHOULD start popping up here and there in PvP soon, moreso than Liquidation likely will.

JUST A BRUSH FIRE, REALLY

Honestly, I expected a number of things to get Mystical Fire after it recently entered the game, but for now, Niantic chose to distribute it to only two new Pokémon:

• As I mentioned in my analysis on Mystical Fire back during Delphox Community Day, DRIFBLIM is an intriguing choice. Mystical Fire and existing Blim coverage move Icy Wind share the same stats aside from typing, so this is almost the very definition of sidegrade... against neutral targets they do the exact same thing, so it just comes down to effectiveness. If Blim is facing something burnable (like a Steel, Ice, or Bug type), it will prefer to have Mystical Fire. For things weak to Ice, like Flyers and Dragons and Grounds, obviously it will want to be packing Icy Wind instead. (Grasses are weak to both Fire and Ice, so usually no change there, aside from things like Abomasnow with a subtyping that favors one or the other... in that case, Mystical Fire is double super effective and Icy Wind is merely neutral.) I'm not going to bother with the sims, as they're close to indistinguishable at a high level, but I WILL note that Mystical Fire can potentially beat Galarian Stunfisk at Ultra League level, and more definitely beats G-Fisk AND A-Slash, Skarmory, and even Registeel at Great League level, none of which Icy Wind can realistically hope to replicate. (Its only standouts are things like Gliscor.) Yes, giving up Icy Wind means completely abandoning hope versus things like Ghost-resistant Pidgeot and especially Noctowl, but overall? I think Drifblim might be getting much hotter soon, in several senses of the word! 🔥
  
• Not nearly as exciting, I admit, but note that LITWICK also gets Mystical Fire. It's really only for Little League use, and has been an interesting but lesser-used Fire type, falling behind things like Vulpix, Growlithe, and Tepig thanks to them having some good neutral coverage, while Litwick has been stuck with just Flame Charge and two other rather Fire charge moves. Mystical Fire slots in as a nearly straight upgrade with pickups that include Wynaut, Vullaby, Obstagoon (for LL Cups where it's allowed), and... Vulpix, regardless of which fast move 'Pix is using. Something to look forward to in the next Little League rotation!
  

LONG STORY SHORT, Mystical Fire IS likely the default coverage move of choice for Drifblim going forward, just because of the number of burnable things (as opposed to freezeable things) in its respective metas, Great League especially. Except to see Blim soar up a little higher than it has in a while. It's also a nice upgrade for Litwick, who should finally emerge as a true Fire contender in Little League formats.

ODDS AND ENDS

Going to put everything else together in this last main section, but don't mistake that to mean they're less important... quite the contrary! Just doing this because these are all one-offs, as opposed to the changes above which directly affected multiple Pokémon recipients.
Before I dive into the specific move additions, let's briefly review the existing moves that are being buffed or nerfed in this update.

• Icicle Spear - 60 power → 65 power. Obviously this only affects WALREIN (for now), and is obviously a strict upgrade, since the cost and all else remains the same, just more damage. Specifically, at a high level, I see Walrein picking up things like Skarmory and Umbreon (non-Shadow) and Trevenant, Pelipper, and Azumarill (Shadow) in Great League, and stuff like Shadow Alolan Ninetales and Virizion in Ultra League. So yeah... you didn't need me to tell you this was an improvement, but maybe that helps you decide how much of an improvement and whether you want to turn back to Wally if you ever turned away before. I'd say Great League in particular has reason to fear it a bit more again.
  
• Poison Fang - 40 power → 45 power. More things affected by this than Icicle Spear, but obviously most of you just want to know about NIDOQUEEN, so in the interest of time and... well, interest, we'll just highlight her for now. Again, you don't need me to tell you this only makes things with Poison Fang better, but HOW much better? Honestly not too much changes in Great League (as far as straight wins a losses go, though this is undoubtedly scarier now!), but in Ultra League, I see new wins for Queen versus things like Charizard, Pidgeot, Cresselia, Dubwool, Obstagoon, AND Guzzlord, among others, so this is no small tweak! Might Nidoqueen be "back"? Only time will tell. Admittedly, what made it SO scary in the past was the cheaper cost of Poison Fang, and that hasn't changed, so I don't see it returning to full dominance like she once enjoyed. I also think she was treated rather harshly even before this buff... she didn't fall off quite as hard as many made it out to be. This will reveal that more fully... she's not so much "back" as much as I think she never really left. Also keep in mind things like GOLBAT/CROBAT and SALAZZLE/SALANDIT** that stand to benefit from this as well!
  
• Rollout - 4 power → 5 power. So low power that I can tell you this won't be a big shift, but obviously it DOES help. DUNSPARCE picks up a potential win over Shadow Alolan Ninetales (hey, Rollout is super effective, so....), and MILTANK a new win versus Shadow Swampert, of all things, and sometimes (Water Gun) Lanturn when utilizing Ice Beam instead of my personal recommendation of Thunderbolt (which beats Lanturn as well). It tends to prefer Tackle in Ultra League, though newly buffed Rollout is MUCH improved now with new wins versus Cresselia, Drapion, Umbreon, Alolan Muk, AND Walrein. Perhaps Tackle won't be the default now? As for ALOLAN GOLEM, Volt Switch just remains a much better move in nearly every scenario and meta. Stick with that, I say, and get all the Rock damage you need from the charge moves instead. 🪨
  
• Mud Bomb - 55 power → 60 power. The two big ones that come to mind are TOXICROAK and WHISCASH, the latter of which honestly needed a boost like this. However, this small a bump looks and feels like more of a "win more" where they already won more than anything. The only notable new win I see (at the high level this massive rebalance is demanding of little old me!) is Toxicroak versus Trevenant, though I think that's more due to Trevenant's nerf (which we'll get to in a moment) than Toxicroak's resisted Mud Bomb dealing a tiny bit more damage. (And upon further review, it may be neither of those and instead just come down to move timing.. but leaving Trevor in here as it's a good setup for later.) The big winner here is actually QUAGSIRE, who FINALLY gets a charge move cheaper than 55 energy to reach the same spam potential as its fellow Mud Boys. It's hard to show how this improves things in simulations, as they actually tend to favor Earthquake in many situations (such as in 1v1 shielding, where Quake shows additional wins against things like Azu, Sable, Swampert, and Umbreon), but the difference is more obvious when you go 2v2 shielding, and the extra spam of Mud Bomb shows out with new wins that include Froslass, Jellicent, Toxicroak, Shadow Alolan Ninetales, and Shadow Walrein. I actually don't know if this will actually bump up Quagsire's useage or not, though it's shot up about 60 slots to #15 in PvPoke's rankings. Not sure if that will match reality, but I DO think it's time to see if you have a good PvP Quag to perhaps take out for a spin and see. It certainly has some exciting new potential it's never had before!
  
• Seed Bomb - 55 power → 60 power, Energy Cost Increased. The only thing on this list that's not a straight upgrade, getting the same damage boost as Mud Bomb but increased cost to go with it... mostly, I feel, as a backdoor way to bring Trevenant down a bit. (And indeed, PvPoke has dropped Trev 25 slots from #10 to #35 in Ultra League, and down nearly 70 slots in Great League from Top 10 to outside the Top 70!) I certainly don't think Trevor will be going away -- it still breaks several cores across multiple Leagues -- but this is undoubtedly a hit. In Great League, it looks like it's now at a disadvantage against things it used to be able to beat like Walrein, Talonflame, Alolan Marowak, Sableye, and even Toxicroak. The hit is a bit less severe in Ultra League (where it can hang in longer to somewhat compensate for the increased energy needed), but it does still lose former wins like Jellicent and the re-buffed Nidoqueen. Most of the rest of the collateral damage will be felt in Little League, where several notable things have Seed Bomb (like Bulbasaur, Exeggcute, Oddish, etc.). Note much of note in bigger Leagues, though it IS noteworthy that WHIMSICOTT is getting Seed Bomb for the first time. And yes, I think it DOES become the favorite in most circumstances over existing Grass Knot, despite the latter being a "better" move (50 energy for 90 damage) and using that to get a couple unique wins still like Diggersby and Lickitung, because Seed Bomb brings new bait potential to set up big Moonblast wins over Cresselia, Pelipper, Toxicroak, Vigoroth, and Trevenant. Not sure Whimsie is suddenly going to bust out in Open Great League or anything, but I think it's very safe to say it just became a bit scarier and more versatile in Limited metas for sure.
  

And there are all the actual move "rebalances". Now to wrap it up real quick with a final list of existing moves now assigned to new Pokémon!

• PROBOPASS is in some ways similar to Defense Deoxys, in that it has long had three charge moves that seemed almost interchangeable in overall performance. Rock Slide is pretty standard for Probo, and most folks also run it with Thunderbolt, but it's so lackluster than even Magnet Bomb has always hung around as a viable alternative. Well that changes now, as its bulk allows it to make good use of new addition Zap Cannon. I think it and Rock Slide are the new standard, along with Spark to power them out, and that combo brings in new wins over Sableye and Umbreon, along with wider margins of victory over things it just scraped past before like Cresselia and Bastiodon. Probo used to escape them both with less than 10 HP, but now waddles away with quite a bit more than that. Not sure if this will send it up the charts (Bastiodon itself is still usually preferred), but it IS a more intriguing alternative now.
  
• Speaking of funky Rock types, HEATRAN can learn Earth Power now! But uh... you still don't want it, sorry. At least give it Incinerate, Niantic... c'mon!
  
• A MUCH more interesting Rock type is CRADILY, now getting some more speed with Rock Slide as a new alternative to Stone Edge. In my first blush analysis on the day of these many announced changes, I speculated that Cradily may want both Rock charge moves going forward, as it still beat things like Lanturn and even Swampert without needing Grass Knot. But in hindsight... nah, I think you want to instead just swap out Edge for Slide and be done with it. Keeping this short and sweet, here are some of my findings when comparing these side by side (by side): Grass Knot is absolutely needed to beat Diggersby, and is obviously the surest way to beat Waters and Ground (and/or Rock) types in general (including having ANY shot at beating up things like Galarian Stunfisk and Bastiodon). The raw power of Stone Edge is still the best way to punch out things like Alolan Ninetales, Lickitung, and Shadow Victreebel. But the speed of Rock Slide (10 less energy than Edge) adds the potential to now handle stuff like Cresselia, Alolan Marowak, Sableye, Venusaur, and most notably, Noctowl. That's right... Cradily now becomes a handy way to handle Lanturn AND Noctowl, among many others, and can also beat popular Sableye as well. Corebreaker potential on the rise. Dilly dilly!
  
• Look, URSALUNA continues to disappoint and likely always will until it gets a better fast move than Tackle. I know it, you know it, basically everyone but Niantic (and maybe TPCi) knows it. But as I wrote when Luna was first released, Ice Punch at least gives it the most bite of the three main elemental Punches, and until now it was the only one Ursaluna could not learn. Now it can! That gives it a bit more reach in Master League (the one League where it currently has any real play at all) with all the Dragons already. Specifically, Ice Punch allows it to now consistently beat Garchomp and Landorus, so that's nice. But come on, Niantic. Give the people what they want!.
  
• Let's be honest: the addition of Brutal Swing to the arsenal of TYRANITAR is more a cause of celebration for raiding than it is for PvP. (New top Dark type in PvE, I hear!) But yes, it DOES help in PvP too. Tyranitar has the size to work in Master League, but even with Brutal Swing, it's still an awkward fit. The one place I have seen it pop up here and there is actually in Great League, albeit in Limited metas only. While those opportunities are relatively rare, I am happy to report that Brutal Swing is a noted improvement over former best Crunch, adding on wins you would expect of a Dark type (Sableye, Cofagrigus, Jellicent) and a few you might not expect (Drapion, Toxapex, and finally it can beat Altaria!). Still more niche than meta, but at least it's an improving niche!
  
• And finally, we come to humble little EMOLGA, and the first non-Community Day recipient of Acrobatics. Long-time (or even some short-time!) readers have surely seen me write many times about Aerial Ace. It's a passable move -- barely -- dealing 55 damage for 45 energy. Boooooring, but it usually works JUST enough to not be total trash. It's a move I would LOVE to see buffed a little at some point, but it's also a move currently assigned to a massive number of Pokémon, and unlikely to change unless Niantic wants to REALLY shake up PvP. And like way too many Pokémon, poor Emolga has long been stuck with dull old Ace as its only Flying move, leaving what should be an exciting option languishing in obscurity. But now, finally, this mighty mouse may be about to soar! Just look at the HUGE names it can now beat: Medicham. Lickitung. Sableye. Shadow Swampert. Trevenant. Shadow Alolan Ninetales. And Cresselia and even Froslass for good measure. Those are some really big names, folks. Did Emolga just go from being afterthought behind Zapdos to passing it completely? I think it may have! If, like me, you've been holding on to a good one and just biding your time... well, that time is now, my friend! ⚡
  

Speaking of time, though... it's up! The new season is here! So we're gonna wrap it up right here for now. I hope this was as helpful a read as it was LONG. 🙃
Until next time, you can find me on Twitter or Patreon. Or please feel free to comment here with your own thoughts or questions and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
Stay safe out there, Pokéfriends. Best of luck this season, and catch you next time!

GO Battle League Season 15 is upon us, and along with it, our now-customary move rebalance! What's new, what's improved, what's good, bad, or ugly coming out the other side? Let's dive right in and see!
As per usual, Niantic has made us wait until the 11th hour for information on this coming season. (Thanks, Niantic... love you too! 😝) As is NOT usual for them of late, the rebalance taking place at the start of this new GBL season is massive, with no less than thirty three Pokémon being directly affected. Needless to say, this is going to be a lengthy analysis, so let's just dive right into it, shall we?

A FAIR WIND, OR GALE FORCE WINDS?

It might seem odd to lead off with a move given to only two new recipients, but CLEFABLE is no ordinary recipient. It has faded further and further into obscurity over time as other Fairies have risen up around it, having dropped out of the Top 5 Fairies in Ultra League and almost out of the Top 10 in Great League. It's still decently bulky, and still comes with the awesome Meteor Mash, which is not only cheaper than most charge moves found on various Charmers (that don't rhyme with "Aloe Van Pine Nails"), but is very widely unresisted and, critically in themed Cups where Clefable is eligible, super effective versus fellow Fairies, often delivering a knockout blow. The problem, of course, is that like other Charmers, you're unlikely to reach it in multiples, since Charm only generates a way below average 2.0 Energy Per Turn (EPT), tied for worst energy generation in the game. It also has Psychic for coverage, or Moonblast for big STAB damage, but the likelihood of reaching any of those in a critical spot is rather low since Charm is just SO slow to get there. So it has sat, languishing, as other interesting Charmers have come along and is now, at best, just part of a growing pack of similiar Pokémon.
That ALL changes with the addition of Fairy Wind and its 4.5 EPT. Not only does this allow it to finally break away from the pack and make its own unique mark, but it works REALLY well with its moves. Spamming a Meteor Mash every 6 seconds (or thanks to carryover energy, just 5 seconds between the second and third Mash) sounds pretty good to me! And indeed, as compared to Charm, you can see immediate improvement in Great League, with new wins against Noctowl (!!!), Azumarill, Froslass, Diggersby, Alolan Ninetales, and somehow even Fairy slayer Shadow Victreebel by slamming it with two Meteor Mashes. Even after all that, though, it remains underwater overall as far as win/loss record goes, though beating Medicham and Noctowl and all else that you'd expect of a good Fairy give it some great corebreaking potential.
For the eye-popping numbers, we actually turn to Ultra League, where Clef turns from this into this. Yes, that IS more than double its former win total (and a jump from under 30% winrate to now 60%!), with those new wins coming versus Walrein, A-Ninetales, Sylveon, Aurorus, Cobalion, Dubwool, Snorlax, Drapion, DDeoxys, and even resists-all-of-Clefable's-moves Escavalier! And if its relatively high XL cost is scaring you, fear not... you can build a hundo to 2499 CP and miss out only on Walrein and Greedent, for what that's worth. Put simply, Clefable is one of the biggest winners in this rebalance, moving from a previous rank of #145 in Open UL all the way up now to #28, with Tapu Fini being the only Fairy ranked higher!

• More of a footnote is TOGETIC, which now also learns Fairy Wind, and boy did it need that. Previously having to rely on the mostly awful Hidden Power (in which case you usually had to hope to get lucky with Flying type H.P.) or the subpar Extrasensory, it was left looking quite pitiful. But now, at least it could be spice in the right meta, maybe.
  
• WIGGLYTUFF did not get Fairy Wind, but it is receiving Disarming Voice, a move I've been wishing would be more widely distributed for years. A Fairy-type clone of moves like Psyshock, Magnet Bomb, and Foul Play, it's a more-than-passable move, and quietly the cheapest one that Fairy has available...15 less energy than Play Rough and Moonblast, and better Damage Per Energy {DPE} than the former. Anyway, seeing as Wigglytuff currently relies on Play Rough, Voice likely now slots in as its replacement for a little more shield pressure and new wins like Azumarill and Lickitung. The needle doesn't move too much, but the improvement is still appreciated!
  
• PRIMARINA also gets Voice, but it doesn't really help it... yet. Prima IS a little underrated in Master League, where its Water typing is much more help (resisting Ice, Fire, Water) than hindrance (very little Grass and Electric around to exploit it). But it won't really take off until it also eventually gets Hydro Cannon... sometime in 2025? At that point, it will appreciate having cheap Disarming Voice alongside Cannon more, I think.
  

LONG STORY SHORT, Fairy Wind Clefable is one of those rather rare overnight sensations that could see an immediate usage spike in Ultra League and as a nice corebreaker in Great League (the pickup against Noctowl really pushing it over the top). It really appreciates the extra energy to spam charge moves, and has just enough variety between Meteor Mash, Psychic (the move!), and Moonblast to keep the opponent guessing and shielding when they really don't want to. The other Fairies with new toys (Togetic and Wigglytuff especially) appreciate small bumps in performance, but are unlikely to suddenly appear where they weren't already.

DRILL RUNNIN' 🔥

As with Fairy Wind, there are only two new recipients of Drill Run, but both are very interesting.
We'll start with ALOLAN SANDSLASH. It sees some play already in both Great (including the Shadow variant and Ultra Leagues, usually with former Community Day move Shadow Claw to give it a unique profile, and spammy Ice Punch and typically Bulldoze for coverage. Bulldoze has excellent coverage (primarily versus Rocks, Steels, and Fires that give A-Slash a lot of trouble otherwise), but isn't a very good move (60 energy for only 80 damage). Drill Run is a strict upgrade, dealing the same 80 Ground-type damage for only 45 energy, a big savings.
Looking simply at simulation numbers, Drill Run doesn't seem to be a great improvement in Great or Ultra, with just occasional new wins popping up like UL Scizor or GL Alolan Marowak in certain shielding scenarios. But this goes beyond the numbers. Those who already use and love A-Slash will greatly appreciate the extra pressure that comes with Drill Run, as it can now be sprung for just 5 more energy than Ice Punch, making each shielding decision that much sweatier for the opponent. Even without STAB, Drill Run still deals quite a bit more damage than Ice Punch versus neutral targets, so this isn't just for strict coverage either. In every way, this makes Alolan Sandslash better, and better at covering its backside. I think players that don't already use A-Slash may come to better appreciate and respect it now too, and perhaps not just in Limited metas!
Perhaps even more interesting (and, frankly, unexpected) is DEWGONG, the poor WateIce type that has NEVER had a move rebalance other than taking its two best moves (Ice Shard and Icy Wind) away. Niantic has finally given it a LOT of love in this update, with Drill Run providing new coverage, and new move Liquidation finally giving it a viable Water move too. (Water Pulse and Aqua Jet are both terrible, folks... so much so that I've always recommended Blizzard as Dewgong's second move. For example, did you know that it tends to lose to Alolan Marowak with super effective Pulse but actually wins with resisted Blizzard?!) Anyway, I do think you want to definitely keep Icy Wind, so then your choice becomes Drill Run to have a shot at things like Froslass, Toxicroak, Lanturn (with Water Gun), and the aforementioned Alolan Marowak, or Liquidation to better outrace Skarmory and Alolan Ninetales? Either way, you get things like Azumarill and Dunsparce now, and still beat things that don't show in those sims like Swampert and Sableye by remaining fully commited to Icy Wind spam. And while you don't see a lot of new Rock or Steel or Fire wins popping up, Drill Run especially gives them all serious pause, forcing them to shield where they really never had to worry about it much before. (Because, again, Water Pulse is awful.)
So not really a great case for Liquidation here, but this is at least a way to transition into covering that move more fully next!
LONG STORY SHORT, both Dewgong and Alolan Sandslash immediately get better (and get better coverage) with Drill Run in the mix. I think it will be their preferred secondary/closing move going forward, and both will see a bump in play.

LIQUIDATION... GOING OUT OF BUSINESS ALREADY?

So about that new move Liquidation. It's a good if not fantastic move, an exact clone of Crunch... same cost (45 energy), damage (70), and potential debuff (30% chance to reduce the opponent's Defense). Not game breaking, but very, very solid.
But the real question is... do any of the things that recieve it really want it, and if so, do any of them notably improve in PvP?
I'm gonna save you some time (and me some characters!) by immediately pushing many of its recipients right off the raft.

• I think CLOYSTER actually prefers to hold on to a big closer like Hydro Pump rather than Liquidation, preferring to soften things up with Icy Wind and then go in for the kill. Pass.
  
• Similarly, all of the following prefer to keep existing movesets: SAMUROTT (Hydro Cannon/Megahorn), CARRACOSTA (Body Slam/Surf), BEARTIC (Ice Punch/Aqua Tail), EELEKTROSS (Dragon Claw/Crunch). All remain fringe at best.
  
• VAPOREON basically views Liquidation as a sidegrade to existing Scald, though Liquidation is NOT Legacy as Scald is, so it's worth it for any Vapes that don't have its old Community Day move. But Vaporeon remains mostly on the outside looking in at better Water types in various Leagues. No real boost here.
  
• GOLDUCK sees a slight bump with Liquidation, but remains just a spice play, at best.
  
• There is a reason you have never seen FLOATZEL in PvP... it has terrible charge moves. Bad, bad moves like Swift and Aqua Jet, with Hydro Pump as a passable closer but stymied due to average-at-best energy gains from Water Gun or Waterfall. Liquidation is in some ways just what the doctor ordered, but uh... Floatzel still sinks in PvP.
  
• ARMALDO remains a lost cause as well. If you want a GOOD Rocky Bug, use Crustle. If you want a spice one, go with the new Kleavor. If you want to just tank your ELO, THEN maybe consider Armaldo. That's about it though, even with the new move.
  

Man, quite a bummer, right? Decent move, but really nothing that gets it stands to benefit in a way that will impact PvP. So moving on then to... wait, what? I missed one? Oh... OH! So I did. And thankfully, we can end this section on a good note... because GOLISOPOD just became a bit more interesting.
Remember that when it was first released, it was a completely lost cause, with Fury Cutter, Metal Claw, and Waterfall as its clumsy fast moves, and underwhelming X-Scissor, Aerial Ace, and somehow even worse Aqua Jet as its only charge moves. That left it in a very sad state. Eventually, it acquired Shadow Claw, which made it at least slightly interesting. And now comes the charge move it's been begging for, with Liquidation elevating it into spice territory, at the very least. Now you can potentially beat things like Charizard, Nidoqueen, Alolan Sandslash, Alolan Ninetales (Powder Snow), Talonflame, Cobalion, and Sylveon that you couldn't before, though even as bad as Aerial Ace is, giving it up means you generally now lose some Grasses like Venusaur and Virizion. Still though, things are looking up for Golisopod!
LONG STORY SHORT, while Liquidation is actually a nice addition to Water's arsenal (a clone of Crunch, including the debuff chance), the only thing that gets it initially that really looks to benefit is Golisopod. Stay tuned to what may get it down the road, though... most of its current recipients just have more problems than Liquidation alone can solve.

THE LEAF AGE BEGINS?

Probably haven't seen Bullet Punch in PvP much, have you? Scizor and Metagross use it, and uh... that's about the extent of it. But it's actually a pretty good PvP fast move, with the average 3.0 Damage Per Turn (DPT) but above average energy generation (3.5 EPT). And now here comes Leafage, an exact clone of Bullet Punch for the Grass typing. The number of things that get it is quite a bit smaller than Liquidation (only three evolutionary lines), but I think this is a clear case of quality over quantity in Leafage's favor.

• I could write an entire article on the injustices done to DECIDUEYE in Pokémon GO. All its interesting moves in MSG, and here it sits with underpowered Shadow Sneak, overpriced Energy Ball, and big but risky closer Brave Bird, and all locked behind low-energy Razor Leaf or arguably worst fast move in the game Astonish. #JusticeForDecidueye! While I do still hope for an eventual and LONG overdue buff to Astonish, for now the addition of Leafage should be a big help, right? Weeeeeeeell..... I mean, yes, it is most certainly better, and will become even a bit moreso when it eventually gets Frenzy Plant. But clearly, it's problems are not JUST the fast moves. Heck, pre-evolution DARTRIX (who has also been trapped behind Razor Leaf) even looks better than Deci in the here and now, thanks in large part to having Seed Bomb as a more workable second charge move to set up Brave Bird. It does seem that even though ROWLETT also gets Leafage, it may still prefer to keep existing Razor Leaf down in Little League, where Razor Leaf can admittedly be particularly dominant.
  
• LURANTIS (and Little League pre-evolution FOMANTIS) operates nicely right now as sort of a Jack of all trades with Fury Cutter (and its Bug damage output) powering up Leaf Blade and Superpower (well, Grass Knot in Fomantis' case). Superpower allows for some nutty wins like Bastiodon, Galarian Stunfisk, and excecuted properly, even Registeel, clearly showing Lurantis' appeal. So does Leafage help or disrupt the good Lurantis has already got going? Eh, I think we're gonna call it a sidegrade, though a tasty one for sure. Lurantis does give up a couple things where the effectiveness of Fury Cutter wins the day (Cresselia, Shadow Victreebel) and loses a little speed, which flips Shadow Alolan Sandslash to a loss. (Luratnis cannot hit a Leaf Blade AND followon Superpower in time with Leafage like it can with Fury Cutter.) But Leafage is able to carve out new wins like Shadow Alolan Ninetales and Pelipper with superior neutral fast move damage (as opposed to resisted Bug damage), and also can outrace Walrein far more reliably. So not an upgrade, but a nice sidegrade like this can add some disruption into appropriate metas just fine.
  
• Speaking of disruption, let's check out ABOMASNOW. Obviously it runs more as an Ice than a Grass, humming along nicely in multiple metas with Powder Snow and Weather Ball (Ice) and Energy Ball for a big Grass closer when the situation calls for it. And more than likely, it will mostly continue in that configuration moving forward. BUT, Leafage may be preferred in certain metas now, at least, and not just because it now slams the door on Water types (instead of sometimes merely scraping by with Powder Snow). In Great League, where ShadowBama is usually preferred, Powder Snow continues to shine out, but it's worth noting that while Leafage is an overall downgrade, most of the wins it gives up are versus Flyers (Altaria, Noctowl, Skarmory, Mandibuzz), with new losses to Umbreon and Venusaur as the most notable exceptions. Leafage DOES make some new key contributions like Powder Alolan Ninetales and Galarian Stunfisk that may come more to the fore in Limited metas with, say, fewer Flyers? Just saying. In Ultra League, the biggest knock against Leafage is that it drops the Giratinas (as compared to Powder Snow), but otherwise Leafage makes a pretty strong case with pickups of Poliwrath, Walrein, and Alolan Ninetales (with Powder Snow OR Charm). I think Leafage deserves some real consideration at Ultra League level!
  

LONG STORY SHORT, no huge improvements to be found with Leafage, but it does earn a rightful place as a robust sidegrade consideration for the Lurantis and Abomasnow lines (particularly with Ultra League Aboma). It's an upgrade for the Rowlett/Dartrix/Decidueye line, though Deci itself remains middling at best until it one day gets Frenzy Plant (or just some more synergistic charge moves in general!). Leafage SHOULD start popping up here and there in PvP soon, moreso than Liquidation likely will.

JUST A BRUSH FIRE, REALLY

Honestly, I expected a number of things to get Mystical Fire after it recently entered the game, but for now, Niantic chose to distribute it to only two new Pokémon:

• As I mentioned in my analysis on Mystical Fire back during Delphox Community Day, DRIFBLIM is an intriguing choice. Mystical Fire and existing Blim coverage move Icy Wind share the same stats aside from typing, so this is almost the very definition of sidegrade... against neutral targets they do the exact same thing, so it just comes down to effectiveness. If Blim is facing something burnable (like a Steel, Ice, or Bug type), it will prefer to have Mystical Fire. For things weak to Ice, like Flyers and Dragons and Grounds, obviously it will want to be packing Icy Wind instead. (Grasses are weak to both Fire and Ice, so usually no change there, aside from things like Abomasnow with a subtyping that favors one or the other... in that case, Mystical Fire is double super effective and Icy Wind is merely neutral.) I'm not going to bother with the sims, as they're close to indistinguishable at a high level, but I WILL note that Mystical Fire can potentially beat Galarian Stunfisk at Ultra League level, and more definitely beats G-Fisk AND A-Slash, Skarmory, and even Registeel at Great League level, none of which Icy Wind can realistically hope to replicate. (Its only standouts are things like Gliscor.) Yes, giving up Icy Wind means completely abandoning hope versus things like Ghost-resistant Pidgeot and especially Noctowl, but overall? I think Drifblim might be getting much hotter soon, in several senses of the word! 🔥
  
• Not nearly as exciting, I admit, but note that LITWICK also gets Mystical Fire. It's really only for Little League use, and has been an interesting but lesser-used Fire type, falling behind things like Vulpix, Growlithe, and Tepig thanks to them having some good neutral coverage, while Litwick has been stuck with just Flame Charge and two other rather Fire charge moves. Mystical Fire slots in as a nearly straight upgrade with pickups that include Wynaut, Vullaby, Obstagoon (for LL Cups where it's allowed), and... Vulpix, regardless of which fast move 'Pix is using. Something to look forward to in the next Little League rotation!
  

LONG STORY SHORT, Mystical Fire IS likely the default coverage move of choice for Drifblim going forward, just because of the number of burnable things (as opposed to freezeable things) in its respective metas, Great League especially. Except to see Blim soar up a little higher than it has in a while. It's also a nice upgrade for Litwick, who should finally emerge as a true Fire contender in Little League formats.

ODDS AND ENDS

Going to put everything else together in this last main section, but don't mistake that to mean they're less important... quite the contrary! Just doing this because these are all one-offs, as opposed to the changes above which directly affected multiple Pokémon recipients.
Before I dive into the specific move additions, let's briefly review the existing moves that are being buffed or nerfed in this update.

• Icicle Spear - 60 power → 65 power. Obviously this only affects WALREIN (for now), and is obviously a strict upgrade, since the cost and all else remains the same, just more damage. Specifically, at a high level, I see Walrein picking up things like Skarmory and Umbreon (non-Shadow) and Trevenant, Pelipper, and Azumarill (Shadow) in Great League, and stuff like Shadow Alolan Ninetales and Virizion in Ultra League. So yeah... you didn't need me to tell you this was an improvement, but maybe that helps you decide how much of an improvement and whether you want to turn back to Wally if you ever turned away before. I'd say Great League in particular has reason to fear it a bit more again.
  
• Poison Fang - 40 power → 45 power. More things affected by this than Icicle Spear, but obviously most of you just want to know about NIDOQUEEN, so in the interest of time and... well, interest, we'll just highlight her for now. Again, you don't need me to tell you this only makes things with Poison Fang better, but HOW much better? Honestly not too much changes in Great League (as far as straight wins a losses go, though this is undoubtedly scarier now!), but in Ultra League, I see new wins for Queen versus things like Charizard, Pidgeot, Cresselia, Dubwool, Obstagoon, AND Guzzlord, among others, so this is no small tweak! Might Nidoqueen be "back"? Only time will tell. Admittedly, what made it SO scary in the past was the cheaper cost of Poison Fang, and that hasn't changed, so I don't see it returning to full dominance like she once enjoyed. I also think she was treated rather harshly even before this buff... she didn't fall off quite as hard as many made it out to be. This will reveal that more fully... she's not so much "back" as much as I think she never really left. Also keep in mind things like GOLBAT/CROBAT and SALAZZLE/SALANDIT that stand to benefit from this as well!
  
• Rollout - 4 power → 5 power. So low power that I can tell you this won't be a big shift, but obviously it DOES help. DUNSPARCE picks up a potential win over Shadow Alolan Ninetales (hey, Rollout is super effective, so....), and MILTANK a new win versus Shadow Swampert, of all things, and sometimes (Water Gun) Lanturn when utilizing Ice Beam instead of my personal recommendation of Thunderbolt (which beats Lanturn as well). It tends to prefer Tackle in Ultra League, though newly buffed Rollout is MUCH improved now with new wins versus Cresselia, Drapion, Umbreon, Alolan Muk, AND Walrein. Perhaps Tackle won't be the default now? As for ALOLAN GOLEM, Volt Switch just remains a much better move in nearly every scenario and meta. Stick with that, I say, and get all the Rock damage you need from the charge moves instead. 🪨
  
• Mud Bomb - 55 power → 60 power. The two big ones that come to mind are TOXICROAK and WHISCASH, the latter of which honestly needed a boost like this. However, this small a bump looks and feels like more of a "win more" where they already won more than anything. The only notable new win I see (at the high level this massive rebalance is demanding of little old me!) is Toxicroak versus Trevenant, though I think that's more due to Trevenant's nerf (which we'll get to in a moment) than Toxicroak's resisted Mud Bomb dealing a tiny bit more damage. (And upon further review, it may be neither of those and instead just come down to move timing.. but leaving Trevor in here as it's a good setup for later.) The big winner here is actually QUAGSIRE, who FINALLY gets a charge move cheaper than 55 energy to reach the same spam potential as its fellow Mud Boys. It's hard to show how this improves things in simulations, as they actually tend to favor Earthquake in many situations (such as in 1v1 shielding, where Quake shows additional wins against things like Azu, Sable, Swampert, and Umbreon), but the difference is more obvious when you go 2v2 shielding, and the extra spam of Mud Bomb shows out with new wins that include Froslass, Jellicent, Toxicroak, Shadow Alolan Ninetales, and Shadow Walrein. I actually don't know if this will actually bump up Quagsire's useage or not, though it's shot up about 60 slots to #15 in PvPoke's rankings. Not sure if that will match reality, but I DO think it's time to see if you have a good PvP Quag to perhaps take out for a spin and see. It certainly has some exciting new potential it's never had before!
  
• Seed Bomb - 55 power → 60 power, Energy Cost Increased. The only thing on this list that's not a straight upgrade, getting the same damage boost as Mud Bomb but increased cost to go with it... mostly, I feel, as a backdoor way to bring Trevenant down a bit. (And indeed, PvPoke has dropped Trev 25 slots from #10 to #35 in Ultra League, and down nearly 70 slots in Great League from Top 10 to outside the Top 70!) I certainly don't think Trevor will be going away -- it still breaks several cores across multiple Leagues -- but this is undoubtedly a hit. In Great League, it looks like it's now at a disadvantage against things it used to be able to beat like Walrein, Talonflame, Alolan Marowak, Sableye, and even Toxicroak. The hit is a bit less severe in Ultra League (where it can hang in longer to somewhat compensate for the increased energy needed), but it does still lose former wins like Jellicent and the re-buffed Nidoqueen. Most of the rest of the collateral damage will be felt in Little League, where several notable things have Seed Bomb (like Bulbasaur, Exeggcute, Oddish, etc.). Note much of note in bigger Leagues, though it IS noteworthy that WHIMSICOTT is getting Seed Bomb for the first time. And yes, I think it DOES become the favorite in most circumstances over existing Grass Knot, despite the latter being a "better" move (50 energy for 90 damage) and using that to get a couple unique wins still like Diggersby and Lickitung, because Seed Bomb brings new bait potential to set up big Moonblast wins over Cresselia, Pelipper, Toxicroak, Vigoroth, and Trevenant. Not sure Whimsie is suddenly going to bust out in Open Great League or anything, but I think it's very safe to say it just became a bit scarier and more versatile in Limited metas for sure.
  

And there are all the actual move "rebalances". Now to wrap it up real quick with a final list of existing moves now assigned to new Pokémon!

• PROBOPASS is in some ways similar to Defense Deoxys, in that it has long had three charge moves that seemed almost interchangeable in overall performance. Rock Slide is pretty standard for Probo, and most folks also run it with Thunderbolt, but it's so lackluster than even Magnet Bomb has always hung around as a viable alternative. Well that changes now, as its bulk allows it to make good use of new addition Zap Cannon. I think it and Rock Slide are the new standard, along with Spark to power them out, and that combo brings in new wins over Sableye and Umbreon, along with wider margins of victory over things it just scraped past before like Cresselia and Bastiodon. Probo used to escape them both with less than 10 HP, but now waddles away with quite a bit more than that. Not sure if this will send it up the charts (Bastiodon itself is still usually preferred), but it IS a more intriguing alternative now.
  
• HEATRAN can learn Earth Power now! But uh... you still don't want it, sorry. At least give it Incinerate, Niantic... c'mon!
  
• A MUCH more interesting Rock type is CRADILY, now getting some more speed with Rock Slide as a new alternative to Stone Edge. In my first blush analysis on the day of these many announced changes, I speculated that Cradily may want both Rock charge moves going forward, as it still beat things like Lanturn and even Swampert without needing Grass Knot. But in hindsight... nah, I think you want to instead just swap out Edge for Slide and be done with it. Keeping this short and sweet, here are some of my findings when comparing these side by side (by side): Grass Knot is absolutely needed to beat Diggersby, and is obviously the surest way to beat Waters and Ground (and/or Rock) types in general (including having ANY shot at beating up things like Galarian Stunfisk and Bastiodon). The raw power of Stone Edge is still the best way to punch out things like Alolan Ninetales, Lickitung, and Shadow Victreebel. But the speed of Rock Slide (10 less energy than Edge) adds the potential to now handle stuff like Cresselia, Alolan Marowak, Sableye, Venusaur, and most notably, Noctowl. That's right... Cradily now becomes a handy way to handle Lanturn AND Noctowl, among many others, and can also beat popular Sableye as well. Corebreaker potential on the rise. Dilly dilly!
  
• Look, URSALUNA continues to disappoint and likely always will until it gets a better fast move than Tackle. I know it, you know it, basically everyone but Niantic (and maybe TPCi) knows it. But as I wrote when Luna was first released, Ice Punch at least gives it the most bite of the three main elemental Punches, and until now it was the only one Ursaluna could not learn. Now it can! That gives it a bit more reach in Master League (the one League where it currently has any real play at all) with all the Dragons already. Specifically, Ice Punch allows it to now consistently beat Garchomp and Landorus, so that's nice. But come on, Niantic. Give the people what they want!.
  
• Let's be honest: the addition of Brutal Swing to the arsenal of TYRANITAR is more a cause of celebration for raiding than it is for PvP. (New top Dark type in PvE, I hear!) But yes, it DOES help in PvP too. Tyranitar has the size to work in Master League, but even with Brutal Swing, it's still an awkward fit. The one place I have seen it pop up here and there is actually in Great League, albeit in Limited metas only. While those opportunities are relatively rare, I am happy to report that Brutal Swing is a noted improvement over former best Crunch, adding on wins you would expect of a Dark type (Sableye, Cofagrigus, Jellicent) and a few you might not expect (Drapion, Toxapex, and finally it can beat Altaria!). Still more niche than meta, but at least it's an improving niche!
  
• And finally, we come to humble little EMOLGA, and the first non-Community Day recipient of Acrobatics. Long-time (or even some short-time!) readers have surely seen me write many times about Aerial Ace. It's a passable move -- barely -- dealing 55 damage for 45 energy. Boooooring, but it usually works JUST enough to not be total trash. It's a move I would LOVE to see buffed a little at some point, but it's also a move currently assigned to a massive number of Pokémon, and unlikely to change unless Niantic wants to REALLY shake up PvP. And like way too many Pokémon, poor Emolga has long been stuck with dull old Ace as its only Flying move, leaving what should be an exciting option languishing in obscurity. But now, finally, this mighty mouse may be about to soar! Just look at the HUGE names it can now beat: Medicham. Lickitung. Sableye. Shadow Swampert. Trevenant. Shadow Alolan Ninetales. And Cresselia and even Froslass for good measure. Those are some really big names, folks. Did Emolga just go from being afterthought behind Zapdos to passing it completely? I think it may have! If, like me, you've been holding on to a good one and just biding your time... well, that time is now, my friend! ⚡
  

Speaking of time, though... it's up! The new season is here! So we're gonna wrap it up right here for now. I hope this was as helpful a read as it was LONG. 🙃
Until next time, you can find me on Twitter or Patreon. Or please feel free to comment here with your own thoughts or questions and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
Stay safe out there, Pokéfriends. Best of luck this season, and catch you next time!

Another month, another retirement update! A lot of sets changed dates this month, and even more new sets got added! Which reminds me, I'm considering making a /legoleak Discord server in order to expand more on leaks, answer questions, and provide daily retirement updates. If there's interest in that, I'll work on having it done before the next list!
As always, we owe a massive thanks to ZombieYeti from the BrickHound Discord for providing this valuable data. If you're looking for real-time in-stock/deal alerts for Lego.com and other sites, make sure to check out his server: https://discord.gg/BwezK2t5qf
This information is scraped directly from Lego's website, and all dates are subject to change. ZombieYeti is currently developing a website to host this data and offer real-time updates. In the meantime, here is a list of every set and their corresponding retirement date as per LEGO's system!
FULL LIST ON GOOGLE SHEETS HERE <--
If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Due to Reddit's character limits, we can't include everything here, but the full spreadsheet contains every set.
CHANGES IN JUNE:

Theme	Set #	Set Name	Old Date	New Date	Change
Avatar	75577	Mako Submarine	Dec 31, 2024	Dec 31, 2023	-1 year
Avatar	75578	Metkayina Reef Home	Dec 31, 2024	Dec 31, 2023	-1 year
Classic	11020	Build Together	Dec 31, 2024	Dec 31, 2023	-1 year
Duplo	10966	Bath Time Fun: Floating Animal Island	Dec 31, 2024	Dec 31, 2023	-1 year
City	60388	Gaming Tournament Truck	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Creator	31143	Birdhouse	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Friends	41735	Mobile Tiny House	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Harry Potter	75969	Hogwarts Astronomy Tower	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Icons	10306	Atari 2600	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Ideas	21331	Sonic the Hedgehog - Green Hill Zone	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Jurassic Park / World	76946	Blue & Beta Velociraptor Capture	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Jurassic Park / World	76951	Pyroraptor & Dilophosaurus Transport	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Marvel	76226	Spider-Man Figure	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Marvel	76241	Hulk Mech Armor	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Marvel	76243	Rocket Mech Armor	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Marvel	76245	Ghost Rider Mech & Bike	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Marvel	76256	Ant-Man Construction Figure	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Speed Champions	76906	1970 Ferrari 512 M	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Speed Champions	76907	Lotus Evija	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Star Wars	75333	Obi-Wan Kenobi's Jedi Starfighter	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Star Wars	75344	Boba Fett's Starship Microfighter	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year
Technic	42138	Ford Mustang Shelby GT500	Dec 31, 2023	Dec 31, 2024	+1 year

​
NEW SETS ADDED:

Theme	Set #	Set Name	Retirement Date
Holiday / City	60381	City Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Friends	41758	Friends Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Harry Potter	76418	Harry Potter Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Marvel	76267	Marvel Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Star Wars	75366	Star Wars Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71777	Kai's Dragon Power Flip	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71778	Nya's Dragon Power Drift	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71779	Lloyd's Dragon Power Spin	Dec 31, 2023
Batman	30653	Batman 1992 Polybag	Dec 31, 2024
Batman	76224	Batmobile: Batman vs. The Joker Chase	Dec 31, 2024
Batman	76252	Batcave – Shadow Box	Dec 31, 2024
Batman	76264	Batmobile Pursuit: Batman vs. The Joker (4+)	Dec 31, 2024
Batman	76265	Batwing: Batman vs. The Joker	Dec 31, 2024
City	60367	Passenger Airplane	Dec 31, 2024
City / 2K Drive	60395	Combo Race Pack	Dec 31, 2024
City / 2K Drive	60396	Modified Race Cars	Dec 31, 2024
City / 2K Drive	60397	Monster Truck Race	Dec 31, 2024
Creator	31144	Exotic Pink Parrot	Dec 31, 2024
DREAMZzz	40657	Dream Village	Dec 31, 2024
Friends	41756	Holiday Ski Slope and Café	Dec 31, 2024
Friends	41760	Igloo Holiday Adventure	Dec 31, 2024
Harry Potter	76419	Hogwarts Castle and Grounds	Dec 31, 2024
Harry Potter	76421	Dobby the House-Elf	Dec 31, 2024
Icons	40634	Icons of Play	Dec 31, 2024
Mario	71422	Picnic at Mario's House	Dec 31, 2024
Marvel	76249	Venomised Groot	Dec 31, 2024
Marvel	76261	Spider-Man Final Battle	Dec 31, 2024
Marvel	76262	Captain America's Shield	Dec 31, 2024
Marvel	76263	Iron Man Hulkbuster vs. Thanos (4+)	Dec 31, 2024
Marvel	76266	Endgame Final Battle	Dec 31, 2024
Minecraft	21247	The Axolotl House	Dec 31, 2024
Minecraft	21248	The Pumpkin Farm	Dec 31, 2024
Minecraft	21249	The Crafting Box 4.0	Dec 31, 2024
Minecraft	21250	The Iron Golem Fortress	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71789	Kai and Ras's Car and Bike Battle (4+)	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71790	Imperium Dragon Hunter Hound	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71791	Zane's Dragon Power Spinjitzu Race Car	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71792	Sora's Transforming Mech Bike Racer	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71793	Heatwave Transforming Lava Dragon	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71794	Lloyd and Arin's Ninja Team Mechs	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71795	Temple of the Dragon Energy Cores	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71796	Elemental Dragon vs. The Empress Mech	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71797	Destiny's Bounty - Race Against Time	Dec 31, 2024
Ninjago	71798	Nya and Arin's Baby Dragon Battle (4+)	Dec 31, 2024
Sonic	76993	Sonic vs. Dr. Eggman's Death Egg Robot	Dec 31, 2024
Star Wars	75359	332nd Ahsoka's Clone Trooper Battle Pack	Dec 31, 2024
Star Wars	75360	Yoda's Jedi Starfighter	Dec 31, 2024
Star Wars	75365	Yavin 4 Rebel Base	Dec 31, 2024
Star Wars	75368	Darth Vader Mech	Dec 31, 2024
Star Wars	75369	Boba Fett Mech	Dec 31, 2024
Star Wars	75370	Stormtrooper Mech	Dec 31, 2024
Duplo	10987	Recycling Truck	Dec 31, 2025
Duplo	10994	3-in-1 Family House	Dec 31, 2025
Duplo	10997	Camping Adventure	Dec 31, 2025
Ninjago	71799	NINJAGO City Markets	Dec 31, 2025
Technic	42161	Lamborghini Huracán Tecnica	Dec 31, 2025
Icons	10323	PAC-MAN Arcade	Dec 31, 2026
Technic	42160	Audi RS Q e-tron	Dec 31, 2026

​
SETS RETIRING IN 2023:

Theme	Set #	Set Name	Retirement Date
Classic	11015	Around the World	Jul 31, 2023
Creator	31123	Off-Road Buggy	Jul 31, 2023
Disney	10780	Mickey and Friends Castle Defenders	Jul 31, 2023
Disney	43203	Aurora, Merida and Tiana's Enchanted Creations	Jul 31, 2023
Dots	41962	Unicorn Creative Family Pack	Jul 31, 2023
Mario	71404	Goomba's Shoe	Jul 31, 2023
Mario	71407	Cat Peach Suit and Frozen Tower	Jul 31, 2023
Mario	71409	Big Spike's Cloudtop Challenge	Jul 31, 2023
Mario	71412	Big Bad Island	Jul 31, 2023
Mindstorms	51515	Robot Inventor	Jul 31, 2023
Minecraft	21187	The Red Barn	Jul 31, 2023
Ninjago	71738	Zane's Titan Mech Battle	Jul 31, 2023
Ninjago	71754	Water Dragon	Jul 31, 2023
Ninjago	71756	Hydro Bounty	Jul 31, 2023
Ninjago	71759	Ninja Dragon Temple (4+)	Jul 31, 2023
Ninjago	71762	Kai's Fire Dragon EVO	Jul 31, 2023
Ninjago	71770	Zane's Golden Dragon Jet	Jul 31, 2023
Ninjago	71773	Kai's Golden Dragon Raider	Jul 31, 2023
Technic	42129	4x4 Mercedes-Benz Zetros Trial Truck	Jul 31, 2023
Minifigures	71038	LEGO® Minifigures Disney 100	Aug 31, 2023
Architecture	21054	The White House	Dec 31, 2023
Art	31203	World Map	Dec 31, 2023
Art	31205	Jim Lee Batman Collection	Dec 31, 2023
Art	31206	The Rolling Stones	Dec 31, 2023
Art	31207	Floral Art	Dec 31, 2023
Avatar	75571	Neytiri & Thanator vs. AMP Suit Quaritch	Dec 31, 2023
Avatar	75573	Floating Mountains: Site 26 & RDA Samson	Dec 31, 2023
Avatar	75577	Mako Submarine	Dec 31, 2023
Avatar	75578	Metkayina Reef Home	Dec 31, 2023
Batman	76181	Batmobile: The Penguin Chase	Dec 31, 2023
Batman	76220	Batman versus Harley Quinn (4+)	Dec 31, 2023
Brickheadz	40540	Lion Dance Guy	Dec 31, 2023
Brickheadz	40541	Manchester United Go Brick Me	Dec 31, 2023
Brickheadz	40542	FC Barcelona Go Brick Me	Dec 31, 2023
Brickheadz / Avatar	40554	Jake Sully & his Avatar	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Disney	40377	Donald Duck	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Disney	40378	Goofy & Pluto	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Disney	40476	Daisy Duck	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Disney	40477	Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Dewey & Louie	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Disney	40550	Chip & Dale	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Disney	40553	Woody and Bo Peep	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Disney	40622	Disney 100th Celebration (Oswald, Mickey, Snow White, Tinker Bell)	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Harry Potter	40495	Harry, Hermione, Ron & Hagrid	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Harry Potter	40560	Professors of Hogwarts	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Minecraft	40624	Alex	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Minecraft	40625	Llama	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Minecraft	40626	Zombie	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Star Wars	40539	Ahsoka Tano	Dec 31, 2023
BrickHeadz / Star Wars	40623	Battle of Endor Heroes	Dec 31, 2023
City	30590	Farm Garden & Scarecrow Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
City	30638	Police Bike Training Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
City	30639	Dog Park and Scooter Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
City	41723	Donut Shop	Dec 31, 2023
City	41726	Holiday Camping Trip	Dec 31, 2023
City	60253	Ice-Cream Truck	Dec 31, 2023
City	60313	Space Ride Amusement Truck	Dec 31, 2023
City	60314	Ice Cream Truck Police Chase	Dec 31, 2023
City	60315	Police Mobile Command Truck	Dec 31, 2023
City	60317	Police Chase at the Bank	Dec 31, 2023
City	60318	Fire Helicopter	Dec 31, 2023
City	60319	Fire Rescue & Police Chase	Dec 31, 2023
City	60320	Fire Station	Dec 31, 2023
City	60321	Fire Brigade	Dec 31, 2023
City	60322	Race Car Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
City	60323	Stunt Plane	Dec 31, 2023
City	60324	Mobile Crane	Dec 31, 2023
City	60325	Cement Mixer Truck	Dec 31, 2023
City	60327	Horse Transporter	Dec 31, 2023
City	60330	Hospital	Dec 31, 2023
City	60332	Reckless Scorpion Stunt Bike	Dec 31, 2023
City	60333	Bathtub Stunt Bike	Dec 31, 2023
City	60335	Train Station	Dec 31, 2023
City	60338	Chimpanzee Smash Stunt Loop	Dec 31, 2023
City	60339	Double Loop Stunt Arena	Dec 31, 2023
City	60341	The Knockdown Stunt Challenge	Dec 31, 2023
City	60342	The Shark Attack Stunt Challenge	Dec 31, 2023
City	60343	Rescue Helicopter Transporter	Dec 31, 2023
City	60346	Barn & Farm Animals	Dec 31, 2023
City	60348	Lunar Roving Vehicle	Dec 31, 2023
City	60349	Lunar Space Station	Dec 31, 2023
City	60350	Lunar Research Base	Dec 31, 2023
City	60351	Rocket Launch Centre	Dec 31, 2023
City	60353	Wild Animal Rescue Missions	Dec 31, 2023
City	60354	Mars Spacecraft Exploration Missions	Dec 31, 2023
City	60355	Water Police Detective Missions	Dec 31, 2023
City	60356	Bear Stunt Bike	Dec 31, 2023
City	60357	Stunt Truck & Ring of Fire Challenge	Dec 31, 2023
City	60358	Cyber Stunt Bike	Dec 31, 2023
City	60359	Dunk Stunt Ramp Challenge	Dec 31, 2023
City	60360	Spinning Stunt Challenge	Dec 31, 2023
City	60361	Ultimate Stunt Riders Challenge	Dec 31, 2023
City	60371	Emergency Vehicles HQ	Dec 31, 2023
City	60382	Vet Van Rescue	Dec 31, 2023
City	60385	Construction Digger	Dec 31, 2023
City	60390	Park Tractor	Dec 31, 2023
City	60393	4x4 Fire Truck Rescue	Dec 31, 2023
City	60394	ATV and Otter Habitat	Dec 31, 2023
City	60398	Family House and Electric Car	Dec 31, 2023
Classic	11014	Bricks and Wheels	Dec 31, 2023
Classic	11018	Creative Ocean Fun	Dec 31, 2023
Classic	11019	Bricks and Functions	Dec 31, 2023
Classic	11020	Build Together	Dec 31, 2023
Classic	11021	90 Years of Play	Dec 31, 2023
Classic	11022	Space Mission	Dec 31, 2023
Classic	11031	Creative Monkey Fun	Dec 31, 2023
Classic	30510	90 Years of Cars Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	30641	Panda Bear Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	30644	Vintage Car Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	31111	Cyber Drone	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	31118	Surfer Beach House	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	31127	Street Racer	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	31128	Dolphin and Turtle	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	31130	Sunken Treasure Mission	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	31131	Downtown Noodle Shop	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	31132	Viking Ship and the Midgard Serpent	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	40461	Tulips	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	40469	Tuk Tuk	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	40568	Paris Postcard	Dec 31, 2023
Creator	40646	Daffodils	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	10777	Mickey and Minnie's Camping Trip	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	30646	Moana's Dolphin Cove Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	40521	Mini Disney The Haunted Mansion	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	41168	Elsa's Jewellery Box	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43187	Rapunzel's Tower	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43189	Elsa and the Nokk Storybook Adventures	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43194	Anna and Elsa's Frozen Wonderland	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43196	Belle and the Beast's Castle	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43197	The Ice Castle	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43198	Anna's Castle Courtyard	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43199	Elsa's Castle Courtyard	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43202	The Madrigal House	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43204	Anna and Olaf's Castle Fun	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43207	Ariel's Underwater Palace	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43208	Jasmine and Mulan's Adventure	Dec 31, 2023
Disney	43209	Elsa and the Nokk's Ice Stable	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	30560	Pineapple Photo Holder & Mini Board Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41801	My Pets Bracelet	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41802	Unicorns Forever Bracelet	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41803	Extra Dots series 8	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41805	Creative Animal Drawer	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41806	Ultimate Party Kit	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41807	Bracelet Designer Mega Pack	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41947	Mickey and Friends Bracelets Mega Pack	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41948	Cute Banana Pen Holder	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41950	Lots of DOTS - Lettering	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41951	Message Board	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41957	Adhesive Patches Mega Pack	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41959	Cute Panda Tray	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41960	Big Box	Dec 31, 2023
Dots	41961	Designer Toolkit - Patterns	Dec 31, 2023
Dots / Disney	41963	Mickey Mouse & Minnie Mouse Stitch-on Patch	Dec 31, 2023
Dots / Disney	41964	Mickey Mouse & Minnie Mouse Back-to-School Project Box	Dec 31, 2023
Dots / Harry Potter	41808	Hogwarts Accessories Pack	Dec 31, 2023
Dots / Harry Potter	41809	Hedwig Pencil Holder	Dec 31, 2023
Dots / Harry Potter	41811	Hogwarts Desktop Kit	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10411	Learn About Chinese Culture	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10872	Train Bridge and Tracks	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10882	Train Tracks	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10930	Bulldozer	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10938	Dinosaur Nursery	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10944	Space Shuttle Mission	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10948	Parking Garage and Car Wash	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10949	Farm Animal Care	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10955	Animal Train	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10956	Amusement Park	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10964	Bath Time Fun: Floating Red Panda	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10966	Bath Time Fun: Floating Animal Island	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10968	Doctor Visit	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10972	Wild Animals of the Ocean	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10973	Wild Animals of South America	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10974	Wild Animals of Asia	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10977	My First Puppy & Kitten with Sounds	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10978	Creative Building Time	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	10979	Wild Animals of Europe	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo	30648	Whale Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo / Disney	10899	Frozen Ice Castle	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo / Disney	10960	Belle's Ballroom	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo / Disney	10962	Buzz Lightyear's Planetary Mission	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo / Holiday	10976	Santa's Gingerbread House	Dec 31, 2023
Duplo / Marvel	10963	Spider-Man & Friends: Funfair Adventure	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	30633	Skate Ramp	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	30634	Friendship Flowers Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41443	Olivia's Electric Car	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41677	Forest Waterfall	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41696	Pony-Washing Stable	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41697	Turtle Protection Vehicle	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41699	Pet Adoption Café	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41703	Friendship Tree House	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41704	Main Street Building	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41705	Heartlake City Pizzeria	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41707	Tree-Planting Vehicle	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41708	Roller Disco Arcade	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41711	Emma's Art School	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41712	Recycling Truck	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41713	Olivia's Space Academy	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41714	Andrea's Theatre School	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41715	Ice Cream Truck	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41716	Stephanie's Sailing Adventure	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41717	Mia's Wildlife Rescue	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41718	Pet Day-Care Center	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41719	Mobile Fashion Boutique	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41720	Water Park	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41721	Organic Farm	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41722	Horse Show Trailer	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41729	Organic Grocery Store	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41732	Downtown Flower and Design Stores	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41733	Mobile Bubble Tea Shop	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41741	Dog Rescue Van	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41742	Cat Hotel	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41743	Hair Salon	Dec 31, 2023
Friends	41751	Skate Park	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	30435	Build Your Own Hogwarts Castle Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	30651	Quidditch Practice Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	75968	4 Privet Drive	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	75979	Hedwig	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76386	Hogwarts: Polyjuice Potion Mistake	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76398	Hogwarts Hospital Wing	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76399	Hogwarts Magical Trunk	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76400	Hogwarts Carriage and Thestrals	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76401	Hogwarts Courtyard: Sirius's Rescue	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76403	The Ministry of Magic	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76406	Hungarian Horntail Dragon	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76408	12 Grimmauld Place	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76409	Gryffindor House Banner	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76410	Slytherin House Banner	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76411	Ravenclaw House Banner	Dec 31, 2023
Harry Potter	76412	Hufflepuff House Banner	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday	40426	Christmas Wreath 2-in-1	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday	40522	Valentine Lovebirds	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday	40523	Easter Rabbits Display	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday	40570	Halloween Cat and Mouse	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday	40571	Wintertime Polar Bears	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday	80110	Lunar New Year Display	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday	80111	Lunar New Year Parade	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / City	60381	City Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Creator	30584	Winter Holiday Train Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Creator	30642	Birthday Train Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Creator	30643	Easter Chickens Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Friends	41758	Friends Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Harry Potter	76418	Harry Potter Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Icons	10293	Santa's Visit	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Marvel	76267	Marvel Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Holiday / Star Wars	75366	Star Wars Advent Calendar 2023	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	10265	Ford Mustang	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	10266	NASA Apollo 11 Lunar Lander	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	10273	Haunted House	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	10276	Colosseum	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	10289	Bird of Paradise	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	10290	Pickup Truck	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	10292	The Friends Apartments	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	10299	Real Madrid - Santiago Bernabéu Stadium	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	10497	Galaxy Explorer	Dec 31, 2023
Icons	76989	Horizon Forbidden West: Tallneck	Dec 31, 2023
Icons / Modular	10255	Assembly Square	Dec 31, 2023
Icons / Modular	10270	Bookshop	Dec 31, 2023
Icons / Modular	10278	Police Station	Dec 31, 2023
Ideas	21325	Medieval Blacksmith	Dec 31, 2023
Ideas	21326	Winnie the Pooh	Dec 31, 2023
Ideas	21329	Fender Stratocaster	Dec 31, 2023
Ideas	21337	Table Football	Dec 31, 2023
Jurassic Park / World	76943	Pteranodon Chase (4+)	Dec 31, 2023
Jurassic Park / World	76945	Atrociraptor Dinosaur: Bike Chase	Dec 31, 2023
Jurassic Park / World	76947	Quetzalcoatlus Plane Ambush	Dec 31, 2023
Jurassic Park / World	76948	T. rex & Atrociraptor Dinosaur Breakout	Dec 31, 2023
Jurassic Park / World	76950	Triceratops Pickup Truck Ambush	Dec 31, 2023
Jurassic Park / World	76956	T. rex Breakout	Dec 31, 2023
Lightyear	76830	Zyclops Chase (4+)	Dec 31, 2023
Lightyear	76831	Zurg Battle	Dec 31, 2023
Lightyear	76832	XL-15 Spaceship	Dec 31, 2023
Mario	30509	Yellow Yoshi's Fruit Tree Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Mario	71406	Yoshi's Gift House	Dec 31, 2023
Mario	71413	Character Packs Series 6	Dec 31, 2023
Mario	71414	Conkdor's Noggin Bopper	Dec 31, 2023
Mario	71415	Ice Mario Suit and Frozen World	Dec 31, 2023
Mario	71416	Lava Wave Ride	Dec 31, 2023
Mario	71417	Fliprus Snow Adventure	Dec 31, 2023
Mario	71418	Creativity Toolbox	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	10781	Spider-Man's Techno Trike (4+)	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	10784	Spider-Man Webquarters Hangout (4+)	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	10790	Team Spidey at Green Goblin's Lighthouse (4+)	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	30652	Doctor Strange's Interdimensional Portal Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76187	Venom	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76193	The Guardians' Ship	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76206	Iron Man Figure	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76207	Attack on New Asgard	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76208	The Goat Boat	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76209	Thor's Hammer	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76211	Shuri's Sunbird	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76212	Shuri's Lab (4+)	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76213	King Namor's Throne Room	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76214	Black Panther: War on the Water	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76215	Black Panther	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76216	Iron Man Armory	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76225	Miles Morales Figure	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76230	Venom Figure	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76242	Thanos Mech Armor	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76253	Guardians of the Galaxy Headquarters	Dec 31, 2023
Marvel	76255	The New Guardians' Ship	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21164	The Coral Reef	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21170	The Pig House	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21172	The Ruined Portal	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21177	The Creeper Ambush	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21180	The Guardian Battle	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21181	The Rabbit Ranch	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21183	The Training Grounds	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21184	The Bakery	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21185	The Nether Bastion	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21186	The Ice Castle	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21188	The Llama Village	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	21190	The Abandoned Village	Dec 31, 2023
Minecraft	30647	The Dripstone Cavern/The Stalactite Cave Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Miscellaneous	40174	LEGO Chess	Dec 31, 2023
Miscellaneous	40382	Birthday Set	Dec 31, 2023
Miscellaneous	40393	LEGOLAND Fire Academy	Dec 31, 2023
Miscellaneous	40584	Birthday Diorama	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	30656	Monkey King Marketplace Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	80008	Monkie Kid's Cloud Jet	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	80030	Monkie Kid's Staff Creations	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	80032	Chang'e Moon Cake Factory	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	80033	Evil Macaque's Mech	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	80034	Nezha's Fire Ring	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	80035	Monkie Kid's Galactic Explorer	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	80037	Dragon of the East	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	80038	Monkie Kid's Team Van	Dec 31, 2023
Monkie Kid	80039	The Heavenly Realms	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	30649	Ice Dragon Creature Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71757	Lloyd's Ninja Mech (4+)	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71760	Jay's Thunder Dragon EVO	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71761	Zane's Power Up Mech EVO	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71763	Lloyd's Race Car EVO	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71765	Ninja Ultra Combo Mech	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71766	Lloyd's Legendary Dragon	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71767	Ninja Dojo Temple	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71768	Jay's Golden Dragon Motorbike	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71769	Cole's Dragon Cruiser	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71771	The Crystal King Temple	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71772	The Crystal King	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71774	Lloyd's Golden Ultra Dragon	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71775	Nya's Samurai X MECH	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71776	Jay and Nya's Race Car EVO	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71777	Kai's Dragon Power Flip	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71778	Nya's Dragon Power Drift	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71779	Lloyd's Dragon Power Spin	Dec 31, 2023
Ninjago	71781	Lloyd's Mech Battle EVO	Dec 31, 2023
Speed Champions	30657	McLaren Solus GT Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Speed Champions	76900	Koenigsegg Jesko	Dec 31, 2023
Speed Champions	76901	Toyota GR Supra	Dec 31, 2023
Speed Champions	76910	Aston Martin Valkyrie AMR Pro and Aston Martin Vantage GT3	Dec 31, 2023
Speed Champions	76911	007 Aston Martin DB5	Dec 31, 2023
Speed Champions	76912	Fast & Furious 1970 Dodge Charger T	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	30654	X-wing Starfighter Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75288	AT-AT	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75292	The Razor Crest	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75300	Imperial TIE Fighter	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75301	Luke Skywalker's X-wing Fighter	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75309	Republic Gunship (Ultimate Collector Series)	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75312	Boba Fett's Starship	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75317	The Mandalorian & The Child	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75318	The Child	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75320	Snowtrooper Battle Pack	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75322	Hoth AT-ST	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75323	The Justifier	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75324	Dark Trooper Attack	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75326	Boba Fett's Throne Room	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75327	Luke Skywalker (Red Five) Helmet	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75329	Death Star Trench Run Diorama	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75330	Dagobah Jedi Training Diorama	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75332	AT-ST (4+)	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75334	Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Vader	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75335	BD-1	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75336	Inquisitor Transport Scythe	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75338	Ambush on Ferrix	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75339	Death Star Trash Compactor Diorama	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75342	Republic Fighter Tank	Dec 31, 2023
Star Wars	75343	Dark Trooper Helmet	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	30655	Forklift with Pallet Polybag	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42096	Porsche 911 RSR	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42107	Ducati Panigale V4 R	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42111	Dom's Dodge Charger	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42117	Race Plane	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42118	Monster Jam Grave Digger	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42122	Jeep Wrangler	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42123	McLaren Senna GTR	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42125	Ferrari 488 GTE 'AF Corse #51'	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42127	The Batman - Batmobile	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42128	Heavy-Duty Tow Truck	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42131	Cat D11 Bulldozer	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42132	Chopper	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42133	Telehandler	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42134	Monster Jam Megalodon	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42135	Monster Jam El Toro Loco	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42137	Formula E Porsche 99x Electric	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42139	All-Terrain Vehicle	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42140	App-Controlled Transformation Vehicle	Dec 31, 2023
Technic	42144	Material Handler	Dec 31, 2023