Ups.drop off

BruceDropEmOff

2019.06.21 04:09 iichance_ BruceDropEmOff

Official Reddit for Twitch Streamer BruceDropEmOff twitch.tv/brucedropemoff @raycondones on IG and Twitter
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2020.08.14 01:45 poopleinphallibility ProjectDropOff

We are a new community seeking to create a frictionless, one click national database of ballot drop boxes and advocate aggressively for people to #dropitoff!
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2015.07.31 08:16 douglasg14b DoorDash Community

Unofficial DoorDash Community Subreddit
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2023.06.07 22:11 KillerActual Gurevich please, the MiG-23-98, the Flogger's swansong.

Gurevich please, the MiG-23-98, the Flogger's swansong.

A MiG-23MLD converted into a technology demonstrator for the MiG-23-98 programme.
In the mid-late 90s, Mikoyan offered a deep upgrade package for the venerable MiG-23 fighter aircraft mainly targeting foreign users of the MiG-23. This upgrade package entailed a comprehensive upgrade of the avionics onboard the aircraft in order to allow the aircraft to carry more modern air-to-air missiles.
Ultimately, 3 variants of the MiG-23-98 were proposed, the MiG-23-98-1, the MiG-23-98-2, and the MiG-23-98-3.
The MiG-23-98 on display alongside the munitions that she is able to carry.
The MiG-23-98-1 was the most advanced variant of the MiG-23-98 programme. The Saphir-23 radar was replaced with the more capable Moskit-23 radar, capable of detecting targets up to 100 km away. Avionics upgrades allow the MiG-23-98-1 to carry modern air-to-air missiles, namely the R-73, R-27 R-27ER, R-27T/R-27ET and the R-77 AAMs. It was also able to carry guided munitions such as the KAB-500KR TV-guided bomb, the KAB-500L laser-guided bomb and the Kh-25ML, Kh-25L and Kh-29L laser-guided air-to-ground missiles. If this is to be introduced to the game, it would basically almost be a MiG-29, and will thus require a minimum BR of 11.7, and can definitely go up in BR.
Another photo of the MiG-23-98, displaying even more compatible munitions.
The MiG-23-98-2 had a weaker Moskit-21 radar that could only detect targets up to 60km away, but for all intents and purposes ingame is similar to the earlier MiG-23-98-1. This is effectively the only variant that went into production, as 18 MiG-23MLs of the Angolan Air Force were upgraded to a standard resembling this variant. If this is to be introduced to the game, it would require a minimum BR of 11.7, and can definitely go up in BR.
The final variant is the MiG-23-98-3, and is the least capable variant of all the 3 variants, with no notable improvements sans an improved antenna, and has the capability of a MiG-23ML. Due to this, I suggest a minimum BR of 11.3.
General characteristics
Crew: 1 sat on a Mikoyan KM-1M ejection seat
Length: 16.7 m (54 ft 9 in)
Wingspan: 13.965 m (45 ft 10 in) fully spread7.779 m (25.52 ft) fully-swept
Height: 4.82 m (15 ft 10 in)
Wing area: 37.35 m2 (402.0 sq ft) fully-spread34.16 m2 (367.7 sq ft) fully-swept
Airfoil: root: TsAGI SR-12S (6.5%); tip: TsAGI SR-12S (5.5%)
Gross weight: 14,840 kg (32,717 lb)
Max takeoff weight: 17,800 kg (39,242 lb)
Fuel capacity: 4,260 L (1,130 US gal; 940 imp gal) internal with provision for up to 3x 800 L (210 US gal; 180 imp gal) drop-tanks
Powerplant: 1 × Khatchaturov R-35-300 afterburning turbojet, 83.6 kN (18,800 lbf) thrust with variable-geometry nozzles dry, 127.49 kN (28,660 lbf) with afterburner
Performance
Maximum speed: 2,499 km/h (1,553 mph, 1,349 kts) / M2.35 at altitude 1,350 km/h (840 mph; 730 kts) / M1.1 at sea level
Range: 1,900 km (1,200 mi, 1,000 nmi) clean
Combat range: 1,500 km (930 mi, 810 nmi) with standard armament, no drop-tanks 2,550 km (1,580 mi; 1,380 nmi) with standard armament and 3x 800 L (210 US gal; 180 imp gal) drop-tanks
Ferry range: 2,820 km (1,750 mi, 1,520 nmi) with 3x 800 L (210 US gal; 180 imp gal) drop-tanks
Service ceiling: 18,300 m (60,000 ft)
g limits: +8.5
Rate of climb: 230 m/s (45,000 ft/min) at sea level
Take-off distance: 500 m (1,600 ft)
Landing distance: 750 m (2,460 ft)
Armament
Guns: 1 × 23 mm Gryazev-Shipunov GSh-23L autocannon with 200 rounds
Hardpoints: 2 × fuselage, 2 × wing glove and 2 × wing pylons with a capacity of up to 2,000 kg (4,400 lb) of stores, with provisions to carry combinations of:
Missiles: Air-to-air missiles: R-73, R-27 R-27ER, R-27T/R-27ET and R-77
Air-to-surface missiles: Kh-23, Kh-25ML, Kh-25L and Kh-29L
Bombs: KAB-500KR TV-guided bomb, KAB-500L laser-guided bomb, FAB-500 series, FAB-250 series
Rockets: S-8 series, S-5 series
Please correct me if there are any errors.
submitted by KillerActual to Warthunder [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 22:11 Sharinganprincess91 [F4M] Fandom Roleplay. Looking for more partners. (Super freaking bored, please read before messaging me...)

Side note: I've added a password, so read carefully. If you message me WITHOUT the password, your messages are automatically IGNORED. tired of getting hit up with people who don't read 😒. It's ridiculous cause I've ignored 5+ chats cause none of them contained the password. Things are written for a reason.
Facts about me:
Rules:
1: if you don't like 50/50 mixture of sex scenes and story, don't bother hopping into my inbox. I'm fine with sex scenes, but when it's constantly back to back, the roleplay itself gets boring.
2: Be literate. No one liners. I like to write..it's annoying when I send a 2-3 paragraph response and I get 3 lines...just...no. I am not accepting people who are just starting out! If you aren't experienced in writing or roleplaying, kindly stay out of my inbox.
3: Be okay with playing canon characters. I'm mainly doing fandom roleplays right now and it's going to be Canon x my oc. No, I'm not doing double ups. Do not even ask, because the answer will be no every time. I do not give a shit if you think that makes me 'lazy' or 'selfish', if you've got a problem, you can simply ignore or block me. Commenting on my post to bitch and whine about me not doubling up will only result in me blocking you. The ONLY time I'll double up, and if I'm confident enough, I'll only do female characters. I suck at males. Got a problem? Not my issue. Block and move on.
4: Roleplay in third person. I can't and won't adapt to first. Don't even bring up the idea of you playing first person and me playing third. Believe it or not, I've been asked this twice and that is just a hell no for me. The only time I do first, is when I'm writing into my book.
5: if you don't know how to share ideas, then don't bother messaging me. I'm tired of carrying the story when the other person doesn't help. If you've got ideas, then PLEASE speak up! Your opinion on the roleplay matters too! I'm an easy going person, and easy to get along with (dispite my rules).
6: DO NOT control my character. I control what she says, does, hears, sees, ect. I don't control yours, so don't control mine. HOWEVER, if it's highly necessary and needed, then run it by me first and ask me. Just leave me some wiggle room so I can make a decent response. Failure to comply by this rule, results in immediate drop of the rp.
End Note:
Yes, I've updated my rules just a tad. I do not care if it makes me sound mean or rude, because I'm neither of these things. I'm just tired of putting these rules down for a specific reason and they go ignored because I can tell when someone hasn't read them, and lied about it. I'm just trying to get my point across and roleplay. I'm a very easy going person who loves to make friends on the side (which I've somewhat given up on making friends...only a selective few have actually gained my friendship).
Do not hop into my inbox with a simple 'hey' 'hi' 'sup', etc and for God's sake, don't message me with a 'rp?'and proceed me to flash me with your talliwhacker. I promise you, you'll get your feelings hurt and I'll be here laughing at ya 😂. Nobody wants a peen on their screen. Do not send me an image of your one eyed noodle. Thank you. The password is pineapple.
Fandoms & Pairings
Deadpool (Wade x my oc)
The Adam's family
Pokemon ((MAYBE. Don't be nasty about it either!))
Bridgerton (or something like it. Can be Oc x Oc)
Disney Decedent's (or anything Disney) (oc x oc)
Orange is the new black (this can be oc x oc).
Criminal Minds (REALLY wanna do)
Marvel:
Loki x my oc
Spiderman (Tom Holland) x my oc
Dog The Bounty Hunter (REALLY wanna do):
Dog Chapman x my oc
The walking dead (REALLY wanna do!!):
Daryl X my oc
Batman x my oc
Lucifer (Netflix show series) x my oc (really wanna do)
The Originals: Klaus x my oc (PLEASE !! I REALLY wanna do this one!)
American Horror Story: Tate x my oc (REALLY wanna do)
Dragon Ball Z - Super (vegeta x my oc) (really wanna do)
Naruto: Minato x my oc
Harry Potter (thanks to the wonderful world of rp, the characters will be 18 or older. For me, I'd like it if it was Draco x my oc. REALLY wanna do)
Game Of Thrones (I'm still very early in the show, but I think we could think of something!)
Once Upon A Time:
killian x my oc, REALLY wanna do 🥺.
Avatar the last Airbender:
Zuko x my oc
Twilight:
Jacob x my oc
(Course, our version will be alot better than the movies).
If any of these interests you, message me!
End note part 2:
Congratulations! You've made it to the end. Still interested? You've got the password. Message me and let's get started 😁.
submitted by Sharinganprincess91 to roleplaying [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 22:07 Asleep-Musician-8801 Rant about teenage love

The reason why I never believed in love, and why I always believed everyone was just wasting my time, was because of my school of thought about love. The person who changed my mind about love is also single now. This story is from when I was studying in school, and a handsome, tall, and funny boy whose family got posted to Karachi and we started studying together. Despite attending a co-educational school, I never spoke to any boys, and I didn't have a phone or Snapchat or Facebook account. Classmates would get together and go out, but I wasn't allowed to go anywhere except to a few girls' houses that my mom approved of. Someone from family or house help would always pick me up and drop me off. Where as he used to make plans at home and invite other girls and boys from school. He was so handsome and popular that all the senior and junior girls had a crush on him, even girls from other schools and colleges. Of course, he became my crush too. He used to flirt with me and always sat next to me in class. He even got into trouble for being too talkative on the other hand I was so quiet that as a punishment teachers would change his seat and shift him next to me. He used to proudly say that if he kept getting punished for sitting next to me, he would continue to do so every day. Because of his reputation, I never took him seriously, despite of likinh him and crushing over him and now he is single. When I started university, I joined Snapchat, Instagram, and every social media site. Over the years, he added me and I used to watch his stories of going on dates with his girlfriend, taking long drives, and holding hands with girls. However, it never bothered me as I expected it from him. But after all these years, I saw his rishta ad on Facebook, and the nostalgia of my teenage crush hit me hard. It amazed me that the man who was always surrounded by girls who looked like Hollywood models and used to date girls who look not less then model is now single. Sometimes I feel like I was never his crush because I was simple back then and I'm still simple now. I only visit a beauty salon once or twice a year and I don't color my grey hair because I think it's natural. His exes and his sisters, who are actual Instagram models, are high maintenance. The reason why I never believed in love and why I always thought everyone was just a time pass, was him he left that mark. Although we have been following each other on social sites, we never spoke to each other or reacted to each other's photos. So it's obvious I never meant anything to him, even though he never initiated the conversation so did I. But after seeing his profile on the rishta group I don't know why I felt this like breakup wali feeling like mere ex ny salo date kr chora ho aur apni maa ki pasand ki larkii sy shadi kr raha ho 🤣
submitted by Asleep-Musician-8801 to pakistan [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 22:06 CokedOutWalrus RPMs slowly rising and hanging by itself? Head scratcher...

So I was just out for a drive in my '97 Bird with the 3.8L 5 speed, 199k miles. Went to downshift to 4th, and the RPMs jumped when I pressed the clutch in. Kept it in neutral and the RPMs hung in the high thousands. Turned it off and back on, RPMs dropped back to normal, and almost immediately started climbing back up. Did this a couple times and then it stopped acting up for the rest of the drive. Any thoughts? Only thing I can think of was a momentarily stuck open injector, though I'm not sure how/why it would continue for a few on/off cycles.
Thanks for any input!
submitted by CokedOutWalrus to fbody [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 22:03 throwra20394214 Disability discrimination in the workplace

In England

My mum has been working at a residential care home for disabled adults since September 2021. She is physically disabled after an accident a few years ago which has required several surgeries and now causes her chronic pain. She can only walk with an aid and not for very long as she is in constant pain. She also has severe asthma and informed her employer of all of her disabilities during the hiring process.

Over time, my mum's health has declined, leading to several hospitalisations and absences from work due to this. Her employer has become increasingly unhappy with this and has been targeting her in several ways, such as scheduling longer shifts than other employees, and assigning her to residents that take long walks which she struggles with due to pain.
Last week, she had an asthma attack at work in a room full of people in senior positions. They didn't call an ambulance, they watched her struggle to breathe until she ran out to get her phone to call an ambulance. This has happened before with one of her supervisors, who left the room and didn't return while she was having an asthma attack.

My mum felt that she had no choice but to resign so sent an email, to which they replied asking to have an informal meeting and apologising for the incident, offering to send a taxi to pick her up and drop her off from the meeting. After speaking with ACAS, mum decided she wanted to send a grievance letter but she has been informed by HR that if she does submit a "formal grievance letter", they won't be able to have their "informal meeting".

Does she submit the letter or go to the meeting? If she goes to the meeting, what should she expect and what should she say? She's considering pursuing the matter legally but we don't know what course of action to take. Any advice would be appreciated.
submitted by throwra20394214 to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 22:01 limeade272 Anyone looking for a dog walker or drop-in visits?

Hi! My name is Jenn. As I embark on a new career search, I am delighted to offer flexible availability for dog walks and drop-in visits for dogs ideally no larger than 40 pounds. Currently, I have extensive availability, and after securing my next full-time position, I will be able to continue to provide exceptional care on weekends, ensuring your furry friends receive undivided attention and love. I live in northeast Boca off of Yamato, just minutes from Delray. My love for dogs is boundless. They bring me so much happiness. I signed up for Rover and passed the background check but unfortunately haven’t gotten any inquiries yet, likely due to the same few people getting the majority of the local business. Feel free to send me a message if interested! Thanks :)
submitted by limeade272 to BocaRaton [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 22:01 KKshilling Making Your Next Career Move: Avoiding the Trap of False Actualization

Making Your Next Career Move: Avoiding the Trap of False Actualization
“The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.” – Carl Jung
The American culture around work and education emphasizes performance over purpose. Instead of encouraging children to welcome their idiosyncrasies and to deeply embrace the things they find innate joy and talent in, we enforce conformity.
Standardized tests, standardized courses, and standardized degrees produce standardized kids who go on to become standardized adults.
Over the course of two decades, a spirited child full of creativity and wonder is gone, replaced by a drone that’s proficient in Excel macros. It’s great for a vibrant economy, yet it comes at the expense of individual expression.
Nonetheless, our childlike spirit remains in us, trapped under layers of societal conditioning that have drawn us so far away from ourselves that we’ve lost touch with our inborn interests and who we once were.
Yet, it pings at us from time to time throughout our young adult lives, and into the depths of our careers. It’s a dull yet persistent sense that something is not quite right.
This is a common outcome for many of our culture’s brightest minds. So many of us struggle to find a greater sense of meaning, fulfillment, or validation in our work. Although it feels like we need to attain more to be satisfied, that’s a conflation of the feeling. The ping from our soul that something isn’t right is the dormant child inside of us asking to be let loose.
So, how do you avoid the trap of successful-yet-not-fulfilled? How do you design a life that activates the needs and desires you had as a child? How can you think through this intentionally before it’s too late?
Using my own career as an example, I’ll walk through a popular model of human needs and describe how to apply it to making more meaningful career decisions. You’ll see how easy it is to fall into the trap of what I call False Actualization.
By the end, you’ll have hopefully gut-checked yourself before making the next move down a potentially incorrect career path.
And, I hope, find your way back to doing something that speaks to your innermost needs.

Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs

American psychologist Abraham Maslow is responsible for one of the earliest and most contemplated models for understanding human needs: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It spurred the creation of many other models for meaning since it was first introduced.
There’s something about it that hits home, not only with the clinicians in the world of positive psychology but for the average person seeking a framework to understand their feelings of meaninglessness.
As such, I’m going to use this model as the centerpiece for demonstrating the prior missteps I made with my own career.
First, let’s do a quick refresh of the model. Maslow’s theory attempts to categorize a broad set of human needs and their relative hierarchy to one another and has commonly been visualized as a stacked pyramid (even though Maslow didn’t create such a visualization himself).

  • Physiological. We first need to fulfill our basic physiological needs that account for our species-level survival, such as food, sleep, and sex.
  • Safety. Secondly, we must also feel safe and have conditions that ensure our ongoing safety. This is especially true for children.
  • Love. If both the physiological and safety needs are well met, then love, affection, and belonging needs will emerge.
  • Esteem. People need a stable, firmly-held, high evaluation of themselves and others. First, we desire strength, achievement, adequacy, independence, and freedom. Then, we desire reputation, prestige, recognition, attention, importance, or appreciation.
  • Self-Actualization. Even if all the aforementioned needs are met, some individuals may develop discontent or restlessness about their lives. These individuals need to actualize their unique potential and capabilities.
An essential aspect of Maslow’s theory is that each type of need can occupy a different position in the human psyche at any time. For example, all other needs fade into the background when basic physiological needs are not met, such as a person dying of dehydration or starvation.
On the other hand, when all physiological needs are consistently fulfilled, the need for Love or Esteem can take center stage as physiological needs drift into the background of consciousness.

https://preview.redd.it/2vch2kpxin4b1.png?width=928&format=png&auto=webp&s=7c12aca72e1900e98aaf56e8ef68b844b16d2220
I like to think of the sequence of needs falling into two broad categories: Survive and Thrive. The bottom of the pyramid houses the essentials for an organism to survive. Above those are the needs that lead to a subjective sense of thriving and fulfillment beyond basic survival.
The purpose of this post is to examine the tradeoffs that we make within the zone of thriving as we push deeper into our careers.

Applying Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to Your Career

We can think of our careers relative to Maslow’s hierarchy. As an example, when we begin our careers, many of us are focused on fulfilling our basic Physiological and Safety needs.
When I was 21, I got my first full-time job. It didn’t pay much. I earned $18,000 per year and had $30,000 in student debt. Consequently, survival was a primary need at the forefront of my psyche. I needed to have enough money for rent, food to eat, and enough left over after those needs to slowly chip away at my student loans.
The debt overhang felt like a threat to my safety as an organism so getting my net worth out of negative territory was a fundamental safety need for me. Consequently, that became the primary thrust of my career in its early days.


After 5 years of working hard and squirreling away money, I managed to pay off my debt and establish some career momentum. That translated into a sense of security, which made room for a new set of needs to take center stage in my psyche during the next leg of my career push.
But as my career grew, so too did the demands of the job. In turn, this changed which needs were met, and which were neglected.
I call this the demand dimension.
While some jobs allow the separation of your work and life into two separate realms, others require a near-complete integration of the two, like being the CEO or an early employee of a growing startup. These are demanding positions that typically make it difficult for your life not to be dominated by work.
When I was VP and President at Wealthfront, my Safety and Physiological needs were more than compensated for, and my Esteem needs were met due to the prestige that accompanied the position.
However, my Love and Self-Actualization needs were majorly neglected due to soaring career demands.

After several years of putting Esteem needs above other needs, I was paying the price spiritually and emotionally.
This may look familiar to you: it’s typical for high-achievers entering mid-career. Disproportionately high work demands will come at the expense of your other needs.
As Maslow stated, each need may occupy a different position in your psyche at any point in time. It’s essential to understand this attribute instead of thinking that each need on the ladder of needs is a box to be checked. And, once checked, it is perpetually satisfied.
That is not the case. Rather, the needs in the hierarchy tend to trade off with one another, especially when one need is heavily emphasized versus the others.
Perhaps this is at the heart of why active duty military members have the highest divorce rate of any profession in the country, with a divorce rate twice the national average. Members of the military relinquish many of the freedoms that civilians have and face stressful or traumatizing situations regularly.
These situations place significant stress on their relationships. Love, Esteem, and Self-Actualization needs can fall by the wayside in exchange for serving the country.
For many high-achievers, the need for respect, admiration, and achievement can swoop in and occupy the psyche once physiological and safety needs are met. However, it’s important to anticipate the unintended consequences of a rapid and primary focus on meeting Esteem needs.
I have a very close friend that works in tech who once said, “I have zero desire to become an executive. It looks awful. I’d like to make it to Director level, at most, and stay there for as long as possible.”
I deeply respected this, because it highlighted an approach to a more balanced life. He already felt respected and appreciated at work, and would rather have more space to fulfill his love needs with friends, family, hobbies, and more.
His pyramid probably looks something more like this:

His career demands are still high, but he stops himself short of demands that consume other aspects of his life. As a result, he’s one of the most emotionally stable and fulfilled friends I know in the technology industry.
You, too, can have the same. Unfortunately, within the ultra-competitive tech world, high-achievers are often enticed to keep climbing up and up, only to then fall into disrepair once they realize how many of their other needs beyond Esteem may be neglected.

The Trap of False Actualization

“You'll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you're doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you'll hear about them.” – Bill Waterson, Cartoonist and Creator of Calvin and Hobbes
If you’ve been conditioned over decades to follow linear paths of success, you may be prone to going down a path of achievement that is not your own.
Self-Actualization is not the same as achievement. Achievement is typically defined by external measures and expectations from others.
Self-actualization, on the other hand, is not measured according to the opinions of others. It is becoming your authentic self and realizing the full spectrum of your unique interests and capabilities. The end result of self-actualization may be external success, but that’s an unintended consequence, not the objective.
A child may have natural math ability but not actually enjoy math. Still, their teacher or parents may push them to accelerate further in math simply because they are good at it, or because it’s “necessary for success.”
However, that child may be better off in the long run by pursuing literature and writing if those align with the child’s own subjective view of fulfillment and meaning.
I fell quite easily into the trap of False Actualization, which is defined as the path to success based on others’ expectations of you, but not what you genuinely want for yourself.
I was a straight-A student, went to a great college, built a great career, and made great money.
And then I was miserable. That wasn’t the outcome I expected.
Eventually, I understood why. I had succeeded over and over again at doing things others expected of me, a pattern that had been internalized from a very early age. Truthfully, I didn’t enjoy a lot of the work I did. Still, I suppressed the unhappiness and continued onward.
In colloquial terms, False Actualization means that you’ve climbed to the top of someone else’s ladder.
This happens when smart people in Silicon Valley are hellbent on starting a company because that’s the most prestigious thing one can do. It happens when ladder-climbers are determined to become high-ranking high-paid executives without asking “is this what I truly want?
It’s the continuation of the process of standardizing humans that began early in our lives.
I know about this because I have been one of those ladder climbers. At Wealthfront, I was promoted three times in three years. Had I not had a heart attack scare, I would have been on track to be promoted again to CEO — the fourth time in four years.
This is a high-achiever on auto-pilot. I was on auto-pilot headed toward false actualization. I said yes to each new role because I didn’t want to disappoint others, and the esteem was compelling.
By the end of that long journey, my hierarchy looked like this:

I was held in high regard and proud of myself for what I had accomplished, yet I was emotionally, spiritually, and physically bankrupt.
Because I went through all of this, I discovered that there is a better way of doing things.

Avoid the Path of False Actualization: Find Your Model for Meaning

During a recent trip to Northern Thailand, I met a farmer that was a practicing Buddhist. During our conversation, he said something simple but critically important for anyone searching for meaning.
“Everyone wants to get to Bangkok. The problem is that people try to follow other people’s roads to Bangkok. You must find your own road to Bangkok.”
His catchy metaphor is the antidote to False Actualization. You must spend time carving your own path that provides you with your own internal sense of meaning and fulfillment.
Self-Actualization is the output of finding your own way to Bangkok.
For one person, meaning may come through manual labor that pays the bills enough that their family is well-fed and secure. For another person, meaning may come from ditching the rat race to set out on their own path in life separate from the masses, which is my chosen path. Others derive a great sense of meaning by being part of a once-in-a-generation company doing inspiring work, happy to play a small part in a purpose they wouldn’t be able to fulfill on their own.
The question remains: how do I find my authentic purpose so that I avoid False Actualization?
I’ll share my personal process, which I pulled together from various pieces of spiritual wisdom. It involves the following:
  1. Use Spiritual Autolysis to Examine (and Discard) False Beliefs
  2. Protect the Mind to Avoid Toxic New Beliefs from Entering
  3. Develop a Practice That Provides the Heartbeat for Your Life

Examine (and Discard) False Beliefs

Jed McKenna, the pseudonymous author behind the Spiritual Enlightenment Trilogy, coined the term Spiritual Autolysis. Autolysis in biology means to “digest itself”, so it refers in this context to relentlessly assessing all of your existing beliefs to understand what is true.
Ultimately, this is a process to break down and discard old beliefs that are no longer serving you. As Jed McKenna put it:
"Here's all you need to know to become enlightened: Sit down, shut up, and ask yourself what's true until you know. That's it. That's the whole deal - a complete teaching of enlightenment, a complete practice. If you ever have any questions or problems - no matter what the question or problem is - the answer is always exactly the same: Sit down, shut up, and ask yourself what's true until you know."
Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements also provides a repeatable method for Spiritual Autolysis. I’ve taken the approach laid out in his book and adapted it to this particular challenge:
  • Understand your beliefs and where they came from
  • Practice eliminating those beliefs
  • Practice adopting new beliefs
  • Try your best every day
To kickstart the autolysis of your beliefs regarding work and building a career, start with the following questions. Pick one, sit down, shut up, and whittle it down until you find what is true.
  • What is the purpose of a career?
  • What does “success” mean in a career?
  • How much does money matter to me and what would I use a lot of money for?
  • Should I work until I die, or should I not?
  • What do I think of the concept of work-life balance?
  • What did my teachers often tell me about careers?
  • What messages did my parents give me about a career?
  • What do careers look like in different parts of the world?
  • What have careers looked like at different points in human history?
  • What role does a career play in my overall life fulfillment?
  • How have my friends influenced my career decisions?
  • How have my bosses influenced my career decisions?
When I went through this process, I underestimated the depths of the delusion I was living.
The financial insecurity I felt as an adult had its origin in the financial insecurity I felt as a child in a low-income family that went through bankruptcy. This realization helped me shed false beliefs still present in my adulthood that I needed to make more money in order to be safe and secure.
Examining, and then discarding, this belief set me free from sacrificing my physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being in pursuit of yet another unnecessary paycheck.
I also realized the insanity that is the American ideal around retirement. It was no longer true to me that the American way was the only way to work.
Japanese wisdom has a different approach known as Ikigai, which roughly translates to “a reason for being.” Retirement has no place within this ancient system for living a fulfilling life. Carriers of Japanese heritage understood that our lives are cut short when we have no reason for being.
Instead of destroying ourselves with overwork until the age of 65 so that we can fall purposelessly into the grave, we can instead find work that satisfies our soul and feels delighted to do so until we take our Big Sleep.
These are just a few of the false truths I was able to deprogram myself away from via Spiritual Autolysis.

Protect the Mind to Avoid Toxic Beliefs From Entering

The second step in my method is about preventing fast food information from entering your mind – which is most of the highly processed information you receive each day. Your mind is already full of many harmful beliefs because you were brought up in a world that indoctrinated you with information before you had awareness and a choice.
Whereas Spiritual Autolysis helps break those beliefs down and get rid of them, this next step is about preventing more bad ideas from taking root in your mind.
The first step I recommend is getting rid of all junk sources of information. Or, if you can’t get rid of them entirely, use whatever tools are available to filter out most of the noise.
For me, that meant all non-work social media and cable TV news had to go. Unless I can hear directly from the source, I ignore the information. Once you’ve limited the firehose of junk food information, continue to listen critically to everything that you hear.
There’s a reason I only follow just a few accounts on Twitter. One is an account that posts pictures of dogs, the other is a non-profit that I’m on the board of that helps military veterans, and another is Mike Tyson, who has undergone one of the most beautiful spiritual and emotional transformations in recent history.
I try to ignore everything else because, at best, it’s second-hand information. The vast majority of public information has been rinsed, washed, and processed as much as the American diet. To understand what is true for you, you need to create enough space to listen and observe for yourself. Most of what we consume is the noise that prevents us from accessing that signal.

Develop a Practice That Provides the Heartbeat for Your Life

The life you envision for yourself doesn’t happen because you think hard enough about it. The life you desire unfolds as the result of daily practice.
As the psychotherapist Eric Fromm once said, “The first step to take is to become aware that love is an art, just as living is an art... we must proceed in the same way we have to proceed if we want to learn any other art, say music, painting, carpentry, or the art of medicine or engineering."
I implemented two types of practices in my life. I call them Type 1 and Type 2 Changes.
Type 1 Changes refer to the primary pillars of your life: where you live, the type of work you do, your friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, diet and exercise, sleep, and any other major affiliations such as a religious practice. These are big rocks where new practices may need to be established.
Type 2 Changes are the small rocks. These are the incidentals that fill out a daily routine, such as the use of a meditation app for a brief morning meditation, fitness trackers to count daily steps, etc.
Most people who are hungry for a change in their life tend to dabble in Type 2 Changes while avoiding Type 1 Changes. This is another big trap.
Type 1 Changes have made the largest and most sustained impact on my sense of peace and fulfillment.
I moved away from a stressful city. I quit a stressful and unfulfilling career. I dropped old friends that were not supportive of my new life direction. I picked up participation in a 12-steps program so that I could be around others that were working hard to transform themselves. And now I’ve shifted my career focus to helping others after stockpiling enough savings from my prior work.
I also use Type 2 tools. I have a habit tracker app that helps me stick to a daily routine to log exercise, sugar, and processed food consumption, morning meditations, nighttime journaling, and pleasure reading.
Both types of change are part of my practice. Some are small, daily patterns. Others are monolithic shifts. The magic is found in the combination of both and you must be willing to combine both types of changes if you want a substantial and lasting shift in your overall sense of well-being.

Make Your Next Move

If you already feel in alignment and fulfilled by your current life, keep it up!
But if you’re nodding along while reading, or feeling the ping that something’s not quite right, it may be time for you to listen inward.
Take the sabbatical you’ve been putting off over and over again. Carve out time in your schedule to do the creative project that you’ve put on the back burner. Stop seeking career advice from others. Talk to people that live very different lives than you do. Travel to parts of the world where making a lot of money and having high-profile careers aren’t part of the cultural lexicon. Don’t stop until you discover your own road to Bangkok.
Charles Bukowski captured the spirit of this best when he said, “Find what you love and let it kill you.”
submitted by KKshilling to buildindia [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:59 ExpertMeasurement874 My "Best" friend called me a white girl for being polite.. I am a Black Woman

I need some advice on how to handle this situation and wether to cut this person out of my life or try to work it out.
My friend moved into a new home and wanted me to come visit. We decided on Monday morning ( Memorial day) around 10 in the morning to have breakfast at their new place. As I am getting ready to go meet them, I get a text from them asking if we could push our meet-up out to 12 as they were just waking up.
12 was cutting it close for me because I had somewhere to be at 1, and they live 30 - 45 minutes away from me. So I asked if we should reschedule and tell them i have somewhere to be. I even asked if i could just swing by drop off your house warming gift and just keep going. They responded back saying let's meet at 11 am instead. At this point, I'm thinking they just moved, maybe this isn't the greatest time to get together. They keep changing the time, so maybe they aren't really in the mood to entertain.
So I tell them I don't want to impose, are you positive that you even want to meet today?Maybe we should just reschedule, and then they say I am acting like a white girl for being overly polite....
This was really shocking to me. A lot of people my life have told me I don't act black enough (like, wtf does that even mean??) I told them they were acting rude and to let me know when they have time in the future to get together.
They told me that they weren't mad at me... and they were kidding, lets call this an "oops". I got really pissed at this point and told them I was just trying to be empathetic that they just moved. I asked them if they even hang out with other black females because the statement was stupid and uncalled for.
They told me again that they weren't mad and was just poking fun cause we have known each other for so long. I tell them all the stories I have told you about people calling a white girl, you should have known that this is a hard boundary for me. If we are going to continue to be friends, we should be mindful of our boundaries, and we should be open about what those boundaries are.
They said, "No problem, I am who I am, and you know this." I said they don't get it. Now they aren't saying anything to me.
This is the same friend who use to call me a white girl when we were younger but I always brushed it off because so many people, family, friend would call me a white girl, beacuse of how I lived, dressed, spoke, or just to be an ass.
We haven't spent a lot of time together as adults, so I assumed that this was something that they would grow out of, and understand that saying such an immature comment is stupid. I don't tolerate it from other people, and I won't tolerate it from them.
I guess my expectations were too high? I have known this person forever, and they have always said some controversial stuff, but that's when we were kids. Now, as adults, I assumed that we would mature a bit...
Do I cut them off or try to work through this?
I would also like to stress that there is nothing wrong with being white. It is the preconceived notion that since I am a black woman, it is out of character to be polite, and being polite is only inherent to being white.
submitted by ExpertMeasurement874 to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:58 ten_tonne_skeleton My first $1000 internet dollars

I've been lurking on this sub for a while taking in all the advice. I've always wanted to build something for myself but most of the ideas I have involve too much up front cost, and everything else I tried usually ground to a halt after buying a domain and struggling to market and win my first few customers.
Recently that changed and I actually made my first $ on the internet! Feels pretty surreal tbh. The tool itself is fairly straightforward. I built a chrome based note saving and retrieval extension (which I won't link here so I don't spam) that has a paid element involved in being able to save more text snippets, various text analysis tools etc and I now have a good amount of paid users.To spell out the process from start to finish:
  1. I validated the idea. I spoke to students and admin workers who I knew would have to save, reference and analyze various text snippets. Lots of them, especially students, had to save academic references quickly so I added that to the requirements. And I bought the domain!
  2. I spec'd out the main functions of the product and did mockups etc. I did have a little bit of help from a specialist product agency who created the mockups, user journeys, jira feature specs and recommended a tech stack for a v good price. Once I had all this I went and found a dev.
  3. The dev I used was great and could build the chrome extension as well as the web app side of it. At this point I also got him to build a simple wordpress website so I could start running ads towards it.
  4. I got a few trial users onboard but this took a LONG time. Like over 9 months now of free trials, drop offs, sign ups etc. At month 3 I scrapped the free plan (it put too much stress on me having to support these free users) and over time with sone FB ads saw a very slow growth in users to where we are today, $1000!
The $1000 is a cumulative figure and not MRR or anything (I wish) but I'm still stoked to have generated my first 4 figures of internet cash!
Any questions I'm happy to help.
submitted by ten_tonne_skeleton to EntrepreneurRideAlong [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:58 LowlyWorm86 Cost Cap spending is very constrained

Hi,
I have an ad set that I initially had cost cap enabled on, at $55. It got a few conversions (purchases) under the cap, then spending seemed to really drop off. So I decided to remove the cap and allow it to spend the full budget (~$300/day). I had heard that this would help it get out of learning phase faster / more efficiently. Of course it spent the full amount, but the CPA was much, much higher than when I had the cap on. It's almost like it went after lower quality traffic.
So, I added the cap back. After doing so, I started getting more conversions, under the cap. But now spend has really slowed down again. Since I added the cost cap back, the average CPA is well under the cap. But if you look at the CPA over the lifetime of the ad set, it's about 40% above the cost cap. This is due to the several days when I removed the cap and it was spending wildly.
Does Meta look at trailing X days when determining average CPA cost? Or the whole ad set? My thinking is that when I removed the cap, I messed everything up.
The ad set seems to do quite well otherwise, CTR is quite high and it gets conversions when it's allowed to spend.
What's my best course of action? 1) Raise cost cap
2) New ad set/campaign, with the same settings so that the average CPA is reset?
I have about 10-15 conversions, so still definitely in learning phase.
Thanks!
submitted by LowlyWorm86 to FacebookAds [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:57 LowlyWorm86 Cost Cap spending is very constrained

Hi,
I have an ad set that I initially had cost cap enabled on, at $55. It got a few conversions (purchases) under the cap, then spending seemed to really drop off. So I decided to remove the cap and allow it to spend the full budget (~$300/day). I had heard that this would help it get out of learning phase faster / more efficiently. Of course it spent the full amount, but the CPA was much, much higher than when I had the cap on. It's almost like it went after lower quality traffic.
So, I added the cap back. After doing so, I started getting more conversions, under the cap. But now spend has really slowed down again. Since I added the cost cap back, the average CPA is well under the cap. But if you look at the CPA over the lifetime of the ad set, it's about 40% above the cost cap. This is due to the several days when I removed the cap and it was spending wildly.
Does Meta look at trailing X days when determining average CPA cost? Or the whole ad set? My thinking is that when I removed the cap, I messed everything up.
The ad set seems to do quite well otherwise, CTR is quite high and it gets conversions when it's allowed to spend.
What's my best course of action? 1) Raise cost cap
2) New ad set/campaign, with the same settings so that the average CPA is reset?
I have about 10-15 conversions, so still definitely in learning phase.
Thanks!
submitted by LowlyWorm86 to FacebookAds [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:57 LowlyWorm86 Cost Cap spending is very constrained

Hi,
I have an ad set that I initially had cost cap enabled on, at $55. It got a few conversions (purchases) under the cap, then spending seemed to really drop off. So I decided to remove the cap and allow it to spend the full budget (~$300/day). I had heard that this would help it get out of learning phase faster / more efficiently. Of course it spent the full amount, but the CPA was much, much higher than when I had the cap on. It's almost like it went after lower quality traffic.
So, I added the cap back. After doing so, I started getting more conversions, under the cap. But now spend has really slowed down again. Since I added the cost cap back, the average CPA is well under the cap. But if you look at the CPA over the lifetime of the ad set, it's about 40% above the cost cap. This is due to the several days when I removed the cap and it was spending wildly.
Does Meta look at trailing X days when determining average CPA cost? Or the whole ad set? My thinking is that when I removed the cap, I messed everything up.
The ad set seems to do quite well otherwise, CTR is quite high and it gets conversions when it's allowed to spend.
What's my best course of action? 1) Raise cost cap
2) New ad set/campaign, with the same settings so that the average CPA is reset?
I have about 10-15 conversions, so still definitely in learning phase.
Thanks!
submitted by LowlyWorm86 to FacebookAds [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:57 Ninjapro4113 Spotlight Search being Slow

So ever since I got off the public beta of Ventura way back when the official version dropped I have noticed that my Spotlight is taking a long time to search. It will keep up with me for the first word or two but then I have to sometimes wait upwards of 30 seconds for the rest of the sentence to load in. And I don't mean like the field is lagging I mean the results are taking forever to load. I have a M1 MacBook Pro and the spotlight on my iPad Pro 2nd Gen is faster than my Mac's. Anyone else having this issue and know any solution?
submitted by Ninjapro4113 to mac [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:56 Hanzheyingle Build: ‘Shock and awe’-mancer

Tried following the necro guides and they served me ’ok’ up until about level 40 and then things got boring and my survivability started dropping.
I also considered the name ‘Bay-mancer’ but I’m not sure how many people would get that reference.
Kinda how this works. First follow either the fextra guide or the wow-head guide:
https://fextralife.com/diablo-4-necromancer-build-blight-summoner-2/
https://www.wowhead.com/diablo-4/guide/classes/necromanceshadow-summoner-build
Up until level 25.
By this point the utility of various skills will start losing their value.
A couple of notes going in:
- Bosses dance all over the place, which renders things like Blight almost useless. Blight is meant to act like a DoT, but since its an AOE, if the enemy leaves the affected area, then you’re kinda SOL.
- Decompose’s utility drops off FAST. You only really need it for corpses in the beginning, and then it gets outshined quickly by other corpse generating options.
These issues tend to start taking center stage:
- Minion survival (What is a necromancer without minions?)
- Dealing with crowds of mobs
- Dealing with highly mobile bosses
- Your own survivability (Watched some of the other class vids and got super jealous)
The re-spec
- Decompose (or Hemorage): 2
Note: Im actually starting to think Hemorage is the better choice because of this build’s attack cycle.
- Max out blood surge plus both upgrades
Note: I’m highly averse to skills depending on any bar being ‘full’ anything
- Max out hewed flesh (this makes ALL the difference)
- Max out corpse explosion with the miasma upgrade
- Max out necrotic carapace
Note: Which both blood surge and carapace, you’ll pretty much be rapidly fortifying at the start of each fight to *almost* 100%, very early
- Bonded in essence: 2
- Death’s defense: 3
Note: What these two do is effectively make it so your minions’ damage cannot exceed 30% their max health, while two points in ‘bonded in essence’ makes sure your bone priest’s healing will be sufficient to restore that health lost.
- The masteries (Skeleton warrior, mage, and golem) should be done last. These are more for extra ruggedness.
The strategy…
Run into a crowd of mobs and start blasting blood surge. Hewed flesh will ensure this produces corpses. When you run out of essence, switch over to rapid firing corpse explosion. (This is a VERY ‘explosion heavy’ build)
With this combination, you’ll likely be wiping out mobs faster than they can kill your minions. You’re also fortifying at rate of ( carapace + blood surge ), which means you’ll likely to be 50% fortified extremely early in the encounter.
Minion layout
- I recommend reapers for corpses
- Bone golem for, well, corpses
- Cold mages for essence generation
Essentially, if you’re not blowing a corpse up, you should be blowing yourself up, pretty much the whole battle.
Obviously, this means the ‘key passives’ will only effect one type of damage. My counter argument is ‘Rathma’s Vigor’ depends on status, which, at the end of a boss battle, is gonna be crap.
This pretty much leaves Shadowblight as the best option (when you get to it). Im not really convinced any of these passives are ‘game changing‘ on their own.
For ultimate: Right now, I’m playing around with Blood Wave. Army of the dead sounded ‘ok’ in the beginning, but the 70 second cooldown made it pretty useless.
submitted by Hanzheyingle to diablo4 [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:55 TheButterMouse Stupid Ocky And His Stupid Number Stations

Stupid old Ocky banged on about number stations all day long. His monotone drawl repeated the same facts about how if you tune into certain frequencies on your radio, you can hear streams of numbers spewed out by clipped English voices. Sentences that make no sense. And most bizarrely enough, the tinkle of music that sounded like an ice cream van. All message ciphers for government agents.
This is true, and fascinating, but once you understand the meaning behind such bizarre phenomena, most people move on with their lives.
Not Ocky. Ocky had his basement crammed with tech that buzzed with static. His jumpers may have had holes at the elbows, and his trousers did not reach his ankles, but he showed off new pieces of kit every week.
Stupid old Ocky. Always good fun though. After a few pints a story about North Korean shortwave signals was a good laugh.
‘Tell us about the ice cream vans Ocky,’ We would say, and he would adjust his glasses, and tell us once again of spies, and their streams of numbers hidden in plain sight.
One night Ocky burst into the pub, holding printed sheets of paper.
He rambled about hours spent cracking codes. How his equipment had been worth the investment, and the debt on multiple credit cards. After all this time, he had a location. An exact spot in Scotland where his precious number station existed.
‘Who wants to come?’ He shouted.
We cheered, and raised our hands. This was like finding a unicorn after bullying someone for wearing a horn on their head.
Ocky’s one condition was we had to leave tonight.
Four pints of cider each made this a brilliant game. Since we lived in Devon, we pooled the money for petrol, and crammed into the back of Ocky’s Mum’s Peugeot. We left around eleven that evening, and sped down dark country roads and glowing motorways. We stopped once for hot drinks and toilet breaks. I remember Ocky’s hands shaking on the steering wheel, even though his coffee remained untouched.
Ocky’s instructions pointed to a spot on the top of a small hill. The closest road ended near some rusted fencing, but we found a gap large enough to squeeze through. We clambered up the gradient, slipping and sliding on the damp grass in our smart trainers. The alcohol had dropped to a pang of regret, and my bladder begged for relief. Ocky was close to receiving a beating.
But the rising sun revealed our prize. We gasped at the ice cream van with the radar antenna on top. The faded signage displaying the tariff, and different types of unknown flavours. The grinning man peering through a mucky window, the cones in both of his hands dripping with grey sludge. And the never ending dirge of ice cream tunes, both familiar, and a tune from hell.
What had Ocky got us into now?
submitted by TheButterMouse to creepypasta [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:51 TheButterMouse Stupid Ocky And His Stupid Number Stations

Stupid old Ocky banged on about number stations all day long. His monotone drawl repeated the same facts about how if you tune into certain frequencies on your radio, you can hear streams of numbers spewed out by clipped English voices. Sentences that make no sense. And most bizarrely enough, the tinkle of music that sounded like an ice cream van. All message ciphers for government agents.
This is true, and fascinating, but once you understand the meaning behind such bizarre phenomena, most people move on with their lives.
Not Ocky. Ocky had his basement crammed with tech that buzzed with static. His jumpers may have had holes at the elbows, and his trousers did not reach his ankles, but he showed off new pieces of kit every week.
Stupid old Ocky. Always good fun though. After a few pints a story about North Korean shortwave signals was a good laugh.
‘Tell us about the ice cream vans Ocky,’ We would say, and he would adjust his glasses, and tell us once again of spies, and their streams of numbers hidden in plain sight.
One night Ocky burst into the pub, holding printed sheets of paper.
He rambled about hours spent cracking codes. How his equipment had been worth the investment, and the debt on multiple credit cards. After all this time, he had a location. An exact spot in Scotland where his precious number station existed.
‘Who wants to come?’ He shouted.
We cheered, and raised our hands. This was like finding a unicorn after bullying someone for wearing a horn on their head.
Ocky’s one condition was we had to leave tonight.
Four pints of cider each made this a brilliant game. Since we lived in Devon, we pooled the money for petrol, and crammed into the back of Ocky’s Mum’s Peugeot. We left around eleven that evening, and sped down dark country roads and glowing motorways. We stopped once for hot drinks and toilet breaks. I remember Ocky’s hands shaking on the steering wheel, even though his coffee remained untouched.
Ocky’s instructions pointed to a spot on the top of a small hill. The closest road ended near some rusted fencing, but we found a gap large enough to squeeze through. We clambered up the gradient, slipping and sliding on the damp grass in our smart trainers. The alcohol had dropped to a pang of regret, and my bladder begged for relief. Ocky was close to receiving a beating.
But the rising sun revealed our prize. We gasped at the ice cream van with the radar antenna on top. The faded signage displaying the tariff, and different types of unknown flavours. The grinning man peering through a mucky window, the cones in both of his hands dripping with grey sludge. And the never ending dirge of ice cream tunes, both familiar, and a tune from hell.
What had Ocky got us into now?
submitted by TheButterMouse to shortscarystories [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:49 Alert_Dinner6119 61 [M4F] #California, LA Cant beat 'em, join 'em

Greetings Reddit users,
I am a 61 M, who recently found my 22 year old GF of 4 years, has decided to venture out and find a new experience. I was her first.
I found out 10 days ago, she made this decision, and came here to create a post, and let the world know she was now available. I saw her last weekend, knowing nothing about this, thinking we were still working out our problems. It wasnt until I dropped her back off at College, that I found she had made a date with someone she met here, which I then had to accept, she was gone, both in body and spirit, and we were done.
I am a good man, with good morals, and I guess I became too vanilla for her, and maybe a bit boring.
Well, if you cant beat 'em, join 'em.
So here I am, looking for a new girl to love, care for and most importantly, respect and appreciate as to how they add positively to my life, and hopefully I do to theirs as well.
I am not a Dom, nor am I seeking someone who wants that. I think it should be a partnership that works together equally, to create a healthy environment to grow by supporting each others dreams and goal, and honesty is a must from the start.
Since I just exited a 4 year age gap relationship, I am well aware of the differences that can cause issues due to levels of maturity and what one may see as serious, the other may view as trivial in the scheme of things. It can cause major problems.
I think this time I am seeking a woman with a bit more maturity, but am open to discuss the possibilities with any age woman, from 18 - 50.
If you've read all this, are in the Southern California area, and are interested, hit me up. I'm new to all this, but think I have pretty much spelled it all out for now as to why I am here.
Thank you for your time, and best of luck to everyone seeking that other person
submitted by Alert_Dinner6119 to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:48 procrastinatador I regret dropping the money on a short study abroad program and just want to go home.

My partner was originally going to come with me but dropped out last minute due to funds. I had already signed on so I thought I'd keep up with the trip as I had signed to pay for it already, although I was hesitant.
I have ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, depression, suspected ASD, suspected BPD, and definitely some brain damage from a number of concussions and drug use in the past, and because of that combo, I have a really really hard time communicating with others in person, processing speed, and misunderstanding what other people are trying to get at, while also seeming too out of pocket. I'm constantly nervous and either way too quiet or way too loud off medication with no in-between, but I've kept my distance here and stayed pretty quiet. When I do start conversations, I feel like people look at me like I'm insane, even when I am careful to start conversations in some of the same ways my classmates are doing, such as asking what their favorite parts of the trip have been.
I also have food allergies and often can't go out to eat with classmates. I think that in part this is why they just stopped telling me when they were going places. They must have an entirely separate groupchat without me in it to plan activities, and maybe the initial intention was to not make me feel bad about missing out on restaurants, but they definitely do a lot of stuff without me that I wasn't even aware of and wanted to do, so I think they've shifted a lot to this other group chat I'm not in. I've missed out on a lot of meals and have lost more weight during this short period of time than I thought possible.
I made some friends in the group who also have the ADHD/ASD combo and it's been pretty great but-
The meds for ADHD they both take are illegal here, but they usually take them back home, so they're not doing all that well not having them. They both sleep constantly when the class isn't doing something or an activity hasn't been lined up for them. They tend to forget to invite me/fall asleep when we are supposed to be doing things, but I've otherwise not had a mental breakdown simply because I have been able to hang out with them. I still miss out on some activities this smaller group of 2 does together, and don't mind because they're best friends and probably want to hang out just by themselves, but there was a time when I purchased tickets for something that they were going to, they knew I had bought tickets, I asked them when it was going to happen, and they were already there without me. They did go slowly on the self-guided tour so I could catch up, and given how they're doing off meds and how I am myself off medication, I really think they just forgot, but it still sucks to feel so alone. They told me we would go out to dinner tonight but have been ignoring me (probably sleeping) most of the evening. When I asked what plans were, they said they'd let me know later. It's 8:30 PM and I'm starving so I just told them I'd get myself food, got depressed and overwhelmed about it, and probably just won't eat anything tonight.
Whenever I suggest an activity, at best, nobody wants to go, or at worst, I literally get laughed at. It makes me feel like I don't belong in a group of people who are neurotypcial.
I feel like the other students on the trip see me as someone who should have been put in special Ed but wasn't. I feel like they pity me. I'm just trying to live my life with what I've got and I don't want the pity. I really can't stand it. At first I appreciated that people were talking to me, but now it really just seems like they're patronizing me and really don't want to have to put up with my existence, and I hate feeling this way. I just wish I could interact normally.
The professor said that nobody had ever told her they had regretted going on this trip in all the years she has done it, but after seeing how she has worked so hard to make this a good trip for everyone, I see why nobody has thought to tell her that, but the issue is mostly my interaction with other students, in which case she has talked about not leaving other students out extensively. I have spent a lot more time than anyone else with just the professor and it's getting so much harder every day to slap on a smile and keep up appearances. I finally just told her that my medication had built up in my system enough to help a little through the trip and now it's completely tapered off and gone, and that's why I seem like I'm struggling (which is also true, but not at all the largest reason). She worked so hard to make sure everyone was having a good time but I feel left out and like I'm overanalyzing things and don't want to hurt her by telling her I didn't enjoy myself.
My roommate, unbeknownst to me when we signed up to be roommates, has political views that are literally against my existence when it comes to something that is highly visible about me, and I'm in high stress mode when they're in our room. It's been relatively rare that I've had any time alone to recharge and try to just be calm. They are also incredibly loud and don't understand when I am trying to give them clear cues that I don't want to be talking to them and am just burnt out. I've told them that I'm burnt out and now it feels like they're giving me the cold shoulder in the group while talking my ear off when I'm just trying to deal with burnout. My roommate is IMO less socially adept than I am and seems to be included in everything, and I don't know how they don't notice/care that the class is patronizing them so much.
We've been going to museums and my mind is elsewhere, not just because of my ADHD, but also because I seriously hate this small portion of my existence - this last week and a half. I've struggled a lot with mental health in my life, and it hasn't been this bad in a long time, when I should be really enjoying myself.
I'm insanely burnt out. I have 4 days and a free day left here and need the credits and the grade I'm going to get, as the class was intentionally made to be very easy to get a good grade in and meant to be more of an experience than a classroom sort of thing. I feel like I've wasted my money. I'm not even sure I can handle it. I usually enjoy class but this is too much. I've been thinking about how these other people would react if they could experience life from my perspective for just a day, how they would cope and how they would handle it. They wouldn't do anywhere near as well as I've been because they haven't spent gruelling years working through things like I have and working so hard to pull myself up.
In talking to other people who have similar issues to myself, it seems that none of them are doing as well as I am. I'm a college student with one semester left with a TA position set up, which I am so proud of. I beat addiction with 2 different substances. I survived an incredible amount of abuse. Yet I can't handle the way I'm being treated on this trip. It's mostly subtle but it's so much stuff. I just wanna lie in bed in the hotel room for the rest of it but I need this degree.
submitted by procrastinatador to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:48 MeanNieceThrowaway AITA For refusing to babysit my cousins at all anymore after I used to babysit every Tuesday and Thursday and my aunt relied on me?

I (16f) used to babysit my cousins Moses (8m) and Matteo (5m) every Tuesday and Thursday from 3-8. I offered to do this for my Aunt Alex since I’m home anyway and it meant she could work during those hours and have her weekends with Moses and Matteo off. I didn’t mind watching Moses and Matteo since they’re good kids. Moses usually finishes all his homework on the bus and Matteo is of course too young for homework, so they just watch TV or play on my switch the whole time.
But then Aunt Alex started either dropping Moses and Matteo off last-minute or warning me last minute that she needed me to babysit because of an “emergency.” I found out that many of these were not “emergencies” at all. For example, she just wanted to go to a social function. The breaking point was when she kept doing this on Fridays and Saturdays. Friday and Saturdays are my volunteer days where I am a mentor for a local program. My volunteering is important to me and I made this very clear to Aunt Alex.
Two weeks ago, enough was enough, and when Aunt Alex came to pick Moses and Matteo up, I told her that I can’t keep calling out last minute from my volunteering; It’s not fair to me or the other mentors who then have to shift plans/roles last minute. I also told her that I would not be babysitting Moses and Matteo at all, not even on Tuesdays and Thursdays anymore. I was doing something kind for her and she took advantage of me, so now I will not be helping at all.
Aunt Alex has been begging me to babysit Moses and Matteo again, because all the reliable nannies she’s found online charge at least $20 an hour and she can’t afford that without some major sacrifices. My parents actually are on my side and told my Aunt Alex that she needs to figure that out on her own. I can still talk to Moses and Matteo through their Ipad, but when I explained that I wouldn’t be able to watch them anymore, Moses responded with “I know. Mom says it’s because you don’t like us anymore.” So now I feel bad. AITA?
submitted by MeanNieceThrowaway to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:46 oskeei S. Carolina is hot and used about 70 miles of range in camp mode.

Son has been sleeping in Rivian in camp mode. Used 5ish% each nite. Last night in our first night in SC we woke up to find 2% left on it. Went to sleep with 20ish%. AC must have been working hard. Currently plugged at camp site all day to get enough charge to get it to a DC site. lesson also learned that we can only pull 4-7 miles/hour even on camp 50A plug with Rivian portable charger. Guessing something about campsite electric drops.
All outlets were off, climate was normal setting, and camp courtesy on.
submitted by oskeei to Rivian [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:46 Beyonce2021 Mother (54F) put me (16F) out again

This is not the first time she’s done this, and I have a storytime about how she did it when I was 15. I’ll be posting the entire situation on my YouTube channel soon, so subscribe at: HelloBrownGirl on YouTube to see what I went through. I was in my room doing homework when she came in my room asking what’s the password to my school hotspot box. I told her I don’t know. So she starts yelling and takes the hotspot, saying I’m lying, since she’s in my room screaming I grab my camera and go outside. I then step back inside and she is still screaming, and eventually follows me out the house. Once I’m outside she says I can stay on the porch, then locks the door. I bang on the door with my foot, then threw rocks. I go to my neighbor and tell him to call police. Thirty minutes later, they come. They talk to us, I pick up the rocks, and she’s still antagonizing me. As soon as I step in the house she goes “Welcome Back.” in a condescending tone, then chuckles. I ignore her. She then comes in my room while I’m listening to music and threatens to bring my YouTube channel down if I post my story anywhere. I’m singing in my room, and eventually she storms from the kitchen to my room with that pissed off look on her face. I was frightened she would surely hit me. Since my window was wide open, I jumps out. I’m on the first floor. I walk to the front door and she greets me asking why I did that. I explained to her she’d hit or yell at me. Then she continually asks why I jumped out the window and says we don’t jump out windows. Well that’s a rule that never came up my entire life until now. So I say “okay, I won’t jump out the window, can you let me in?” She’s standing in front of the doorway. She says no, we’re gonna sit outside. So I walk to my neighbors house to call the cops after asking her to let me in multiple times and stating my case. The neighbor I told was the same neighbor from the first time, asked “Weren’t they just here?” so I state d my case, then he told me to hold on, yet never came to the door. When I was waiting for him to come to the door I’d try to come up to the house. Every time I’d come up to the door, she’d open it, as if she’s standing right there waiting for me to approach, and antagonize me by laughing, screaming, or running a few steps from the door. I go to two other houses to call the cops. 30 minutes later, they haven’t arrived so my sis says she’ll get me some clothes since I have on a short spaghetti strap lingerie dress with to underwear on. I said I’ll try to go in and see if she does anything. To my utter surprise she went upstairs with a basket of clothes like she wasn’t just refusing me entry. I honestly think she finally got tired. Now I’m chilling in my room, a cop comes, she tells him her story, with lies in between. One of them was that I was screaming, when I was singing along to my music in my headphones. Yet the officer now thinks I was just screaming. Then she says to him that my mental health isn’t the best. When I have a 4.0 and stay out of trouble? But because my dad’s mother has bad mental health, she blamed this situation on that, saying I inherited it. It’s funny how she never brings up the declining mental health on her side (my grandmother). When he does talk to me, he says I ran away, it wasn’t an emergency, and I need to stop calling them. Eventually I say I’m uncomfortable, because he obviously doesn’t understand the seriousness of the situation now that I’m back in the house, and is on her side. He even agreed with her when she said she’s gonna send me to a mental health facility that my sister went to for hurting herself. This does not equate to that. I want to spread light on the dangerousness of verbal abuse. Throughout my life I’ve been verbally abused to the core, and I can’t wait until I’m free of these chains. For the storytime about when she kicked me out at 15, look up hellobrowngirl on YouTube. Please stay tuned for the video I’m dropping, and pray for me, being that I’ve been threatened not to share my story.
TL;DR: I’m a 16 year old female who is constantly having to call the police due to my birther refusing to allow me entry into my home. I’ve been suffering verbal abuse from her for years, and haven’t been sharing my story because my abuser threatens to take my social media page down. I haven’t called CPS because the first time they came, they declared it wasn’t severe enough to remove me from the home. I feel like I’m locked in these chains that I can’t escape until I’m 18, and I’ve finally reached my breaking point.
submitted by Beyonce2021 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:46 Intelligent_Ad_5493 6.25 enclo for entire rad cycle

Is 6.25mg of enclo as a base for my whole rad10mg 8 week cycle ideal or will I have to go up to 12.5 at some point, anyone have experience running 6.25mg for 8 weeks… will I be better off with 12.5mg I’m tryna avoid dropping test as much as possible. Just started 6.25mg today on day 7 of radcycle.
submitted by Intelligent_Ad_5493 to SARMs [link] [comments]