Sims 4 unfulfilled dreams

Do I have a chance to get into a good school?

2023.06.07 21:01 IurmamaI Do I have a chance to get into a good school?

I would like to say thank you beforehand, and just be honest.
I came to the US four years ago, didn't know how to speak English. We had political persecution in our homeland (an Hispanic country), so it was either flee or die. We got the asylee status pretty quick, but we haven't get our permanent resident card yet.
I go to a STEM magnet public school in Florida. We have less than 500 hundred students. Stats: 3.9UW/4.5W (might increase over the summer based on some test scores and my over summer AP). SAT:1350 (I know is low for some colleges, but I got into a foundation that can provide test practice over the summer, and I also re took it in June 3rd so that also might increase it as well). Class:7/101 (again, might increase). So far 10 AP (incl AB and C: Mechanics) and three DE classes with UF (I'm also planning to take Calc 2 and comp sci with c with them for the first semester) Only 2 non-honors courses in my HS transcript, the rest are Honors, AP, or DE
Awards: AP schoolar with Honors (might get with distinction over the summer) Academic letter Questbridge college prep scholar Pin Award (an school award) I might have other that I don't remember Sunrise scholar
Experience: -I did a internship with a partnership in my state. In this internship, with peers, we created a detailed business plan of like 15 pages long describing an entrepreneur business idea and all the implications from market implications to costs. -Held jobs during my last two summer as well. ADT and Adidas. -Intern at a company (would say name but don't want to get doxx) that simulates the lunar and Martian soil. Is a really interesting idea and multiple research papers are being published using their simulants. Companies like NASA and other big space companies use them. -Intern in a quantum computing research internship through a program made by graduates students at MIT, Berkeley, and others. I got in by having good grades and a final project for my year long quantum computing course with them. The internship is with a UF professor and their graduates students. -Participated in one proposal for an experiment for (huge space company) that would be send to orbit. Although my group didn't get it. Our school ended up having two experiments. -Participated in the NASA tech rise contest but also didn't get it. - Created a tutoring club in my school that pairs students with other students. The tutors get community hours. - chairman of finances for my interact club -NHS (my club started as a NHS committee) - attorney in my local teen court program - teenager ambassador in my library system - college board embassador.
Intended major: physics and nuclear engineering
Dream school: Caltech Would be happy to get into any big T20 with a good physics program (that leads towards graduate school, since I want to be a professor)
Safeties: some schools in my home state
I would be grateful if I can get any input on this. Thank you
submitted by IurmamaI to chanceme [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 21:01 yooter745 Advice for a first dive computer. Deep6 Excursion / Aqualung i200c or Shearwater peregrine.

diving is getting more and more serious for me since I’ve recently got my AOW and Deep spec. so it’s time to invest in a divecomputer.
I have my eyes on a deep6 excursion. It has all the stuff i need and more.
-multi-gas nitrox (20 - 99%, 4 gases) -Bühlmann ZHL-16C Algorithm -clean and simple display -future backup for tech or usable as tech dc -integrates with subsurface mobile -good price: 350$ -wearable daily.
However, the shipping is 70USD to europe…and servicing will probably be difficult.
The total would be 392€ incl shipping to EU.
How often do you need to service a DC? Every 6 months / 1 Year / 2 years etc. Would this be a problem?
The Aqualung i200c is next up which is cheaper (279€) but less fancy / future proof? And not wearable daily.
The Shearwater peregrine (550€) is almost perfect but not wearable daily and its about 200 euros more.
I’m planning to definitely get my Rescue diver and do more wreck diving (truk lagoon would be a dream). So for the wreck diving tech is definitely something im considering after i get more experience; currently 50 dives.
Anyone have some advice or other recommendations. Or should i just bite the bullet and order the deep6 excursion or peregrine. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Thanks in advance.
submitted by yooter745 to scuba [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:59 fancyyogapose I miss him so much :(

Hi all! I know there are a lot of posts like this already but I just wanted some advice as well as to see if anyone is going through a similar experience in which their BPSO has been gone for a short period of time. My BPSO left almost 4 weeks ago and I know it’s important to have NC given that he’s not on meds or in therapy but it’s been so difficult. It just really sucks since I was used to talking to him everyday and now adjusting to absolutely no communication from him has been difficult. I miss him so much. I know it’s important to brace myself for the possibility that he might not come back but thinking about that makes me extremely upset since I’m hopeful that he’ll come back. I also recognize that a lot of users recommend letting your SO go and running far away but I just have such a deep connection and unconditional love for him that I’m not considering those options right now. I’m just curious if it gets easier going through this hard time? I know a lot of people have dealt with their SO being gone for several months. I definitely feel sad at random moments throughout the day when I’m alone and wondering how he’s doing. I know I’ve been told to be strong and live my best life during this time but it feels easier said than done. I’ve been in therapy and seeking support from my loved ones but it definitely feels like it’s a dream at times. But thank you to anyone who reads this, your advice is greatly appreciated!
submitted by fancyyogapose to BipolarSOs [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:54 XLoad3D what did I do to deserve this? So much for Skill Groups

what did I do to deserve this? So much for Skill Groups submitted by XLoad3D to GlobalOffensive [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:54 4m3mory rank the debut songs

here's my ranking:
  1. chase me- dreamcatcher
  2. bonbonchocolat- everglow
  3. crown- txt
  4. dalla dalla- itzy
  5. latata- gidle
  6. burning power- makamaka
  7. spit it out- MAJORS
  8. so bad- stayc
  9. black mamba- aespa
  10. FACE- nuest
  11. I- taeyeon
  12. sunday- fanatics
  13. eleven- ive
  14. movie star- cix
  15. doomdoomta- tribe
  16. bonnie & clyde- yuqi
  17. replay- shinee
  18. valkyrie- oneus
  19. giventaken- enhypen
  20. no more dream- BTS
  21. congratulations- day6
  22. athletic girl- h1key
  23. aria- craxy
  24. door- eunbi
  25. glassy- yuri
  26. adore u- svt
  27. danger- taemin
  28. solo- jennie
  29. honestly- limelight
  30. BIM BAM BUM- rocket punch
  31. higher- fifty fifty
  32. im your girl- khan
  33. love in bloom- ily:1
  34. too too (22)- hi-L
  35. the astronaut- jin
  36. O.O- nmixx *gap after
  37. agust D- agust D
  38. oh ya ya- lunarsolar
  39. why don’t you know- chungha
  40. like crazy- jimin
  41. Q&A- chebul
  42. tricky house- xikers
  43. hocus pocus- bvndit
  44. ponzona- purki
  45. allegro cantible- nature
  46. to heart- fromis9
  47. girls girls girls- got7
  48. district 9- skz
  49. ring x ring- billllie
  50. icecream cake- rv
  51. daydream- jhope
  52. pirate king- ateez
  53. boom boom- ANS
  54. pop? pop!- csr
  55. drive- miyeon
  56. pop!- nayeon
  57. nun nu nan na- cignature
  58. woo!ah!- woo!ah!
  59. beambeam- soyeon
  60. candy jelly love- lovelyz
  61. boombayah- bp
  62. into the new world- snsd
  63. like oohahh- twice
  64. la vie en rose- izone
  65. birthday- somi
  66. generation- tripleS
  67. firetruck- nct127
  68. dreamnote- dreamnote
  69. indigo- rm
  70. fearless- lsf
  71. moonlight aria- ariaz
  72. MoMoMo- WJSN
  73. i don’t know- apink
  74. smiley- yena
  75. mama- exo
  76. wings- pixy
  77. tagme- weeekly
  78. tell me you love me- bol4 *gap after
  79. siren- p1h
  80. shut down- clas:y
  81. twilight- wei
  82. got ya- ichillin
  83. rose- mimiirose
  84. parallel universe- ninei
  85. flash- x1
  86. BOY- tbz
  87. hi high- loona
  88. vanilla- lightsum
  89. bugaboo- bugaboo
  90. barcode- lilli lilli
  91. we woo- pristin
  92. who dis?- secret number
  93. otg- rose
  94. glass bead- gfriend
  95. moonlight- neonpunch
  96. lalisa- lisa
  97. chewing gum- nct dream
  98. gorilla- pentagon
  99. BOY- treasure
  100. energetic- wannaone
  101. happiness- rv
  102. mr. ambiguous- mamamoo
  103. mmook jji bba- saturday
  104. tresspass- monstax
  105. fanci- girlkind *gap after
  106. jjan! koong! kwang!- momoland
  107. wa da da- kep1er
  108. lockdown- epex
  109. attention- newjeans
  110. bop bop!- viviz
  111. flower- jisoo
  112. bad news- tempest
  113. happy death day- xdinary heroes
  114. ice age- mcnd
  115. break the rules- cravity
-this ranking solely has to do with how much i like the debut song, not the group. one of my fav groups could happen to have a debut song i don’t like that much unlike the rest of their discography. or the group could have a debut song i really like when i don’t like the rest of their discography.
-this was hard to rank thanks to so many good options. bc there’s so many, ranking low doesn’t mean much. i'm posting this b4 i decide to remove any of the soloists.
-i didn’t know a FEW of these songs well, so i had to listen to them just for this and might not be fully sure.
-i just did all the debuts i remember. i’m mostly a 4th gen stan with a lot of 3rd gen. idk any other gen well and just included a few soloists i know, i left a lot out there too.
-i left out a lot the newly debuted rookie nugu bgs bc i’m too lazy to listen.
submitted by 4m3mory to kpoppers [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:54 Amordad1010 [US][SELLING] Spy x Family, Hell's Paradise, Parasyte. Drifting Dragons and more

Hello,
I am selling part of my collection since its grown a lil too large. I am willing to split if you can find someone else to buy the rest of the set but I will not hold the set if another buyer is interested. Prices include shipping but shipping is free for singles if you buy it with a set.
https://imgur.com/a/KEzRrdw
Sets:
Spy x Family vol 1-9 (G5) $60
Hell's Paradise Jigokuraku vol 1-13 (G4 except for vol 4 which has a light crease on the front and light damage on the back) $90
Parasyte vol 1-8 (G4) $55
Drifting Dragons vol 1-12 (G4) $80
Gigant vol 1-10 (G5) $95
Dead Dead Demon's Dededede Destruction vol 1-12 (G4) $120
Dorohedoro vol 1-23 (G5) $230
Zom 100 vol 1-5 (G4) $35
Do You Love Your Mom and her Multi-hit Combo vol 1-4 (G4) $20
Japanese Tokyo Revengers vol 1-6,11 (G3) $25

Singles:
Kaiju No. 8 vol 2 (G3) $9
All You Need Is Kill (G4) $12
A Midsummmer Night's Dream (G4) $12
Dead Dead Demon's Dededede Destruction vol 12 (G5) $10
submitted by Amordad1010 to mangaswap [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:53 edkrz Profile Review: 26M / 3.1 GPA / 770 GMAT / canada / Consulting

Dream school would be Columbia but I would take any of the M7s + INSEAD
Hoping to get a sanity check on my M7 dream! And also any application tips - anything at this point would be helpful as this is my first time entering this space.
submitted by edkrz to MBA [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:51 LunchyPete Injustice 3 Dream Roster - Elimination Tournament - Round 4 - First Bracket - DISCUSSION

Since the actual tournament thread is locked, this thread can be used to discuss anything related to the tournament itself.
The winners from the first 3 rounds are:
Round 1 Round 2 Round 3
Black Canary Batman John Constantine
Blue Beetle Superman Detective Chimp
Cyborg Zatanna Raven
Deathstroke Shazam Manchester Black
Doctor Fate Beast Boy Batgirl
Flash Black Adam Etrigan
Invincible Ra’s Al Ghul Circe
Jinx (Teen titans) Harley Quinn The Riddler
King Shark Plastic man Cassandra Cain
Lex Luthor Nightwing Green Arrow
Lobo Batman Beyond Rorschach
Martian Manhunter Hawkgirl Aquaman
Sinestro Red Hood Killer Frost
Supergirl Killer Croc Mera
Wonder Woman Catwoman Spawn
The characters for this week's round are:
Who do you hope wins? Who do you hope gets eliminated? And why?
submitted by LunchyPete to INJUSTICE [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:49 Ri7e [H] list of games [W] Street Fighter 6 (PC or PS5)

I can trade multiple games for it.
>observer_ Steam Available
A Story About My Uncle Steam Available
AER Memories of Old Steam Available
Abyss Odyssey Steam Available
Abyss Odyssey Steam Available
Acceleration of SUGURI 2 Steam Available
Attractio Steam Available
Battle Chef Brigade Steam Available
Bear With Me - Collector's Edition Steam Available
Blackguards 2 Steam Available
Blackguards Steam Available
Bone - Episode 1 & Episode 2 Steam Available
Burnout Paradise: The Ultimate Box Origin Key Origin Available
Cities: Skylines + After Dark DLC Steam Available
Citizens of Earth Steam Available
Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 - Uprising Origin Key Origin Available
Contagion Steam Available
Contagion Steam Available
Contagion Steam Available
Contagion Steam Available
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!! Steam Available
Crazy Machines 3 Steam Available
Crysis 2 Maximum Edition Origin Key Origin Available
Cultist Simulator Steam Available
Darkside Detective Steam Available
Darksiders II: Deathinitive Edition Steam Available
Dead Island Definitive Edition Steam Available
Dead Rising 4 Steam Available
Deadly Sin 2 Steam Available
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Steam Available
Devil May Cry HD Collection PS3 Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: BM03 Vegalta Gold Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Depth Crawler Gold Coat Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus DCC-Gogo. Marking Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus DCC-Zero Marking Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus Tank, Bullet Girls Marking Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus Tank, EDF IFPS Markings Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus Tank, Natsuiro HS Markings Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gleipnir Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Ifrit Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Mission Pack 1: Time of the Mutants Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Mission Pack 2: Extreme Battle Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack A Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack B Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Reflectron Laser Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Spark Lancer Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Sting Shot Steam Available
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Volatile Napalm Steam Available
Euro Truck Simulator 2 Steam Available
FEZ Steam Available
Fight'N Rage Steam Available
Figment Steam Available
Forged Battalion Steam Available
GOD EATER 2 Rage Burst Steam Available
HITMAN™: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON Steam Available
Hard Reset Redux Steam Available
Hector: Badge of Carnage Steam Available
Immortal Redneck Steam Available
Insurgency Steam Available
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition Steam Available
Jurassic Park: The Game Steam Available
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition Steam Available
Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth Steam Available
Kona Steam Available
LOST PLANET 3 PS3 Available
Lara Croft GO Steam Available
Laser League Steam Available
Late Shift Steam Available
Legionwood 2: Rise of the Eternal's Realm Steam Available
Little Nightmares Steam Available
METAL GEAR SOLID V: GROUND ZEROES Steam Available
METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience DLC Steam Available
Mafia III: Sign of the Times Steam Available
Medal of Honor Origin Key Origin Available
Mega Man 9 & 10 Combo Pack PS3 Available
Mega Man Legacy Collection Steam Available
Men of War: Assault Squad GOTY Steam Available
Mirror's Edge Origin Key Origin Available
Monaco: What's Yours Is Mine Steam Available
Moon Hunters Steam Available
NBA Playgrounds Steam Available
NeuroVoider Steam Available
Outlast 2 Steam Available
PAC-MAN 256 Steam Available
PAYDAY 2 - Lycanwulf and The One Below Masks Steam Available
Paradigm Steam Available
Pathologic Classic HD Steam Available
Portal Knights Steam Available
Purrfect Date - Visual Novel/Dating Simulator Steam Available
Puzzle Agent 2 Steam Available
Puzzle Agent Steam Available
Q.U.B.E. 2 Steam Available
RUINER Steam Available
Race the Sun Flippfly Flippfly Available
Race the Sun Steam Available
Regions of Ruin Steam Available
Remember Me PS3 Available
Resident Evil Revelations Steam Available
Running with Rifles Steam Available
SPINTIRES™ Steam Available
Sam & Max: Devil's Playhouse Steam Available
Sam & Max: Season 1 Steam Available
Sam & Max: Season 2 Steam Available
Scribblenauts Unlimited Steam Available
Serial Cleaner Steam Available
Seven: The Days Long Gone Steam Available
Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom Steam Available
Skyborn Steam Available
Slipstream Steam Available
Sniper Elite V2 Steam Available
Strider PS4 Available
Styx: Shards of Darkness Steam Available
Subterrain Steam Available
Sudden Strike 4 Steam Available
Sundered Steam Available
Sweet Lily Dreams Steam Available
Tales of Berseria™ Steam Available
Telltale Texas Hold'em Steam Available
Teslagrad Steam Available
The Bridge Steam Available
The Dwarves Steam Available
The Escapists 2 Steam Available
The Sims 3 Date Night Key Origin Available
The Sims 3 High End Loft Stuff Key Origin Available
The Sims 3 Key Origin Available
The Sims 3 Late Night Key Origin Available
The Surge Steam Available
To the Moon Steam Available
Warhammer 40,000: Eternal Crusade Steam Available
Warhammer: Vermintide 2 - Collector's Edition Steam Available
Wizard of Legend Steam Available
Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3 PS3 Available
Yooka-Laylee Steam Available
Zombie Night Terror Steam Available
submitted by Ri7e to GameTrade [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:48 Janius [H] Ghostwire Tokyo, Remnant from the Ashes, Dicey Dungeons, Luck Be a Landlord [W] Bug Fables, Oaken, Chernobylite, Dreamscaper/Offers

IGS Rep
My barter.vg page
Games that I want most currently: Bug Fables, Oaken, Chernobylite, Vanaris Tactics, Miasma Chronicles and Dreamscaper
My full wishlist is below, but I will consider other games that I don't know about/aren't on the list. I really like to play Roguelites, RPGs, Strategy, Card games, and certain sims.
I also have some games on the EA Store, if you're interested just ask.
Tradeable:
Wishlist:
submitted by Janius to GameTrade [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:47 manfam0 Modern Warfare added!

Modern Warfare added! submitted by manfam0 to eden [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:47 LunchyPete Injustice 3 Dream Roster - Elimination Tournament - Round 4 (Final) - First Bracket

Hello all!
We have the winners from the last round finalized, with the tiebreaker round from Round 3 giving us Spawn as the final pick!
The winners from the first 3 rounds are:
Round 1 Round 2 Round 3
Black Canary Batman John Constantine
Blue Beetle Superman Detective Chimp
Cyborg Zatanna Raven
Deathstroke Shazam Manchester Black
Doctor Fate Beast Boy Batgirl
Flash Black Adam Etrigan
Invincible Ra’s Al Ghul Circe
Jinx (Teen titans) Harley Quinn The Riddler
King Shark Plastic man Cassandra Cain
Lex Luthor Nightwing Green Arrow
Lobo Batman Beyond Rorschach
Martian Manhunter Hawkgirl Aquaman
Sinestro Red Hood Killer Frost
Supergirl Killer Croc Mera
Wonder Woman Catwoman Spawn
Now, you can vote for who should survive round 4 below!
The way I've decided to do this, given the limitations of the Reddit poll system, is to put each suggested answer as a comment, and put the thread in contest mode. Due to the nature of doing the thread this way, discussion can't take place in the thread itself, however I've set up a companion discussion thread here.
This bracket will be closed to voting exactly 7 days from today. Simply vote for the comments that have the picks you support or most want to see, and downvote the ones that you disagree with.
This is the final round of this bracket. Next week, assuming no tie breakers, we will be doing round 1 of the second bracket, which will be half of the 60 winners in a randomized order. Round 2 will be the remaining 30, and the surviving 30 will be the communities picks for the ideal roster for an Injustice 3.
Comments and suggestions are welcome in the companion discussion thread, although no new picks will be added at this point.
Without further ado, vote away, and have fun!
submitted by LunchyPete to INJUSTICE [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:41 newsupdatehindi Top Women Boxers in the Wirld

Top Women Boxers in the World-

We Are Listing the Top Women Boxers in the World can be subjective and may very depending on Various Ranking andPersonal Opinions. However here is a list of Accomplished and Highly Regarded Women Boxers who have made significant contributions to the Sports-

List of Top 20 (Twenty) Women Boxers In The World

📷Photo: Top Women Boxers In the World1.Claressa Shields

2.Katie Taylor


3.Cecilia Brækhus

4.Amanda Serrano

5.Jessica McCaskill

6.Terri Harper

7.Seniesa Estrada

8. Mikaela Mayer

9. Delfine Persoon

10.Heather Hardy

11.Mariana Juarez

12.Nicola Adams


13.Hannah Rankin

14.Jelena Mrdjenovich


15.Maiva Hamadouche

16. Daniela Romina Bermúdez

17.Yesica Bopp

18. Ewa Piatkowska

19. Ramla Ali

20. Savannah Marshall

Read More....
Cholesterol Lowering Treatment : कोलेस्ट्रॉल कम करने का रामबाण इलाज
submitted by newsupdatehindi to u/newsupdatehindi [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:39 El_Capitan_38 Usb 3/4

I’m using my FM3 at the moment for some bass guitar recordings. Created a patch with some crunch and parallel compression for the lows etc, but also want to use NDSP Parallax for the dry DI signal usb 3 (mono). I understand that the usb 3/4 output is for re amping back inside AxeFX, but is there anything stopping me from just using parallax (or any other amp sim plug-in) and just adding some gain maybe via an EQ? I do like to see the waveform to do some edits without zooming ridiculously, but I think this is the only option when not double tracking?
submitted by El_Capitan_38 to AxeFx [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:39 wiltshirewanderer Best fast convertible GT car

I’ve always been into my cars and I’m finally in a position to start looking at buying a dream car, so ideally wanting advice if anyone has experience with these models / guidance on what to look out and suggested models as I’ve never spent this much money on a car. Budget sub £100k Options considered at the moment: AM DB9/S Bentley Continental V8 Ferrari California (Possibly Mclaren 570s however ideally wanted 4 seater) Open to suggestions I may have missed :)
submitted by wiltshirewanderer to CarTalkUK [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:39 Mysterious-Bat-6615 I (26F) am afraid that my boyfriend (28M) might implode under all the immense pressure he's going through. How do I help him?

This is a throwaway account because my boyfriend is an active Redditor, and we follow each other's accounts here, but he never goes to this sub.This is also going to be a long post, but I hope you can bear with me.
I (26F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (28M) for 5.5 years now, and this is probably the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. For the purposes of this post, I'll call him Ben. We met in college, and Ben was the sweetest and cutest guy I've ever met. He's two years ahead of me, but he was a part of the welcoming committee at our university, and boy, were we lucky. He was such a charismatic gentleman with an awesome personality and looks to match. I think everyone in my friend group, including me, had a huge crush on him, but he had a girlfriend at the time. When they broke up (she cheated on him), I took my chance and confessed my feelings for him. At that time, I was still a dumb kid, and Ben turned me down politely. However, months later, the stars aligned for us, and long story short, we became a couple.
Before COVID (we were already two years into the relationship by this time), we started living together for a few months because we both worked at offices near each other, so we figured it would be easier and more cost-effective. When the pandemic happened, we went back to our homes. However, things happened with Ben's household. His brother (let's call him Paul) came out as gay, and their parents kicked him out. Ben decided to take Paul under his wing, and we decided to live together again with Paul. Another layer to this was Paul becoming suicidal at the start of his coming out journey (I mean, he was kicked out by his parents, so that was really tough), but he's thankfully in a much better place now. Of course, Paul's recovery was extremely difficult.
In 2021, I started my master's degree. I had to quit my full-time job and take on some freelancing instead. I told Ben that I could still take on more freelancing clients to help with the expenses, but he told me not to so that I could focus on my master's. Suffice to say, I couldn't contribute much to our expenses. While I'm still earning, it barely covers our bills. Paul also volunteered to take on jobs while he's studying, but Ben forbade him so that he could focus on his studies (Paul is actually a genius, who now has a full-ride scholarship in college, which was why Ben didn't want him distracted).
So, Ben took it upon himself to work three or four jobs at a time to support himself, me, and Paul (who was still studying but was essentially financially cut off from their family). Ben actually grew up in a rural farm area, helping out his family, so all his life, all he knew was to work hard to survive. He was the first in their family to go to college, and although he wasn't the brightest, he certainly gave his best. That was also why he was so determined to support Paul in his academics. I chip in whenever I can, and my parents would also contribute from time to time, but it was really Ben who supported our little trio through those times.
However, this is where my concern for Ben starts. Whenever I ask him how he is, he always puts on a huge smile, then he hugs and kisses me, saying that everything is fine. But I can tell how physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted he really is. It's like whenever I'm not looking, I can feel that he's often trying to catch his breath, thinking about something or always brooding, which is really not like him at all.
Then, last year, Ben got a new job that pays about triple his salary compared to his previous main employer, so he didn't have to work multiple jobs anymore. He was so happy because he could spend more time with us now. That was such a relief for me because I could feel his old self genuinely coming back.
However, late last year, we had another curveball. Paul was diagnosed with a heart condition and needed surgery urgently. Of course, that meant a ton of expenses. Ben was once again forced to work A LOT. He was working overtime at his company and took on two more side jobs. He also borrowed money from friends, took out some loans, and basically did everything he could to make sure Paul got the treatment he needed. My parents also gave him money, which he initially refused, but he eventually gave in because he was still short. He also swallowed his pride and begged their parents for money, which they eventually gave, but with a lot of guilt-tripping, shaming, and tongue-lashing. Not once did I hear Ben complain about any of this, and to this day, Paul doesn't know a lot of what his brother had to do and go through to come up with the money.
Thankfully, Paul's operation was a success, and he's now making a full recovery. However, one night last February, I woke up at around 2 am and saw Ben still at our dining table, doing a bunch of paperwork. He told me it was nothing, just routine stuff, but I saw that he was computing all the loans and debts he had incurred trying to come up with the money for Paul's surgery. He kissed me good night, but I saw in his eyes that he was panicking deep inside and was about to break down, but he didn't.
A lot of other things happened between then until now. Last month, Ben was at the center of a heavily traumatic event which I can't disclose here (it involved legal and police proceedings, which are still ongoing). But throughout all this, Ben has maintained a very composed facade, and he continues to do so. During our ride home after receiving the devastating news, he was really quiet. I can tell that he's hurting, but he just doesn't verbalize it. He also told me not to tell Paul about the whole incident if we can help it, but he still found out last week because of all the legal things we're going through. When he found out, Paul actually cried and gave Ben the tightest hug, and I bawled as well. However, Ben was just like, "Man, I really don't want all this attention."
Then, last night, something happened that prompted me to write this post. While we were sleeping, Ben suddenly woke up and rushed to the kitchen, around 1 am. The commotion woke me up too, and I asked him what was wrong. I was so worried because he looked so pale, his lips were dry, and drenched in sweat. He also seemed like he was out of breath and he was panting heavily, struggling to speak. He said he felt that he could feel his heart beating so fast and that there was ringing in his ears. He was also feeling dizzy and nauseated. He tried to pour himself a glass of water, but his hands were shaking badly, so I did it for him.
I then took him to the ER, and hours later, after some tests (thankfully, this was covered by his insurance), the doctor said that Ben had a panic attack. Then, what shocked me the most was that Ben said this was not the first time this has happened. He told the doctor that this has happened about 4 times since last month, but last night was the most severe one. Upon hearing that, I felt like I was being punched in my gut, and everything went silent. I didn't hear what the doctor prescribed him. My mind went blank, and all I could think of was how terrible of a girlfriend I am for not noticing this earlier. When we talked about it at home, he just told me that he didn't want me to worry about him, and that he thought it was just allergies or something (I know, lame excuse). I just wanted to cry because all this time, Ben had been keeping this from me and is going through all this alone. I tried to talk to him some more about what we should do, but he just said he's got it under control now and I shouldn't worry about him anymore.
I'm really, really, really worried about him, though, and I don't know what to do.
I've never seen Ben cry or curse or be mad or be violent throughout our entire relationship. Every time, he just says something to reassure me, then he blurts out a joke or a sarcastic remark. I know that sounds like a dream guy for many people, but I'm just really worried about him. I've told him a thousand times that he can talk to me about whatever he's truly feeling, but he never opens up. I don't know if it's pride, ego, toxic masculinity, or just how he was raised, but I've told him multiple times that I will never judge him or see him differently. I always talk to him about my problems, so he knows that I treat our relationship as a safe space, and I've told him that he could do the same. However, the only "problems" he shares are shallow issues like not liking the lunch served at work or being 2 minutes late due to traffic or spilling coffee on his shirt.
Every day, before going out for work, Ben kisses me and says "I love you," but there's just something different about him. It's like he's putting up this entire persona just to please me, but I can see right through it. I don't know if it's just the sadness in his eyes or the way he sort of fakes his smile. Don't get me wrong, though. I never once doubted that he loves me, and I still deeply love him, but the fact that he doesn't acknowledge his negative emotions really worries me that he might just implode one day.I
'm sorry if that has just been a long-winded, incoherent, rambling mess, but do you have any advice on how I can help him?
TL;DR: My boyfriend has been under a lot of pressure and is not opening up to me. He just had a severe panic attack last night, but he still doesn't want to acknowledge his emotions. What can I do to help him?
submitted by Mysterious-Bat-6615 to relationships [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:31 Icy-Photograph-5799 Ants? Giant ants? Other bugs

Just reflecting on some recent experiences in light of…everything going on.
A few years ago I had a period of high strangeness - lots of synchronicities and some spirit contact from loved ones, mostly, plus very weird dreams. All sober, lasted about a month. Pretty cool!
Anyway - during this period, I experienced some…bugs? It was like they were magnetized to me. I’ve lived in the same city for many many years, and some of these types of bugs I had never seen in my life, and suddenly they were descending upon my house. I had exterminators come out like 4 times, I was freaked out, but nothing was working.
Then - one huge grasshopper started coming to my back window every night. It would chirp until I came in the room, and then - NOT KIDDING - wave at me through the window.
I know intellectually that it wasn’t actually waving at me. I know that. But also, I kinda don’t know. Bc I swear to god the thing was waving at me! And maybe I’m just a lonely weirdo, but it was like we developed a little friendship. I didn’t have any more exterminators come out after that.
So I was also having a lot of lucid alien and abduction dreams during this same time period. In one of these dreams, I was being beamed up to a craft in magenta-colored light beam. It felt…pleasurable.
In another, an ant-like being, human-sized, scanned a beam the same magenta color over my face. It showed me how a person in my life was blocking it from completing the scan. I felt like it wanted me to remove the person, and I knew the magenta light was meant to be a positive thing, but the being was a giant creepy ant, and the person is someone I’m close with. Plus it was just a dream right?
But when I had these dreams I would wake up with my bed kind of moved out/away from the wall.
Nowadays my dreams are mostly back to normal and my bed stays put at night, but few weeks ago I was dozing off, and suddenly I had a crystal clear vision of a large humanoid ant. It was a honey-golden color, and honestly it was unbelievably beautiful. It just stood in front of me and we faced each other in this liminal space for a few minutes. It felt very ancient and feminine, and I was extremely drawn to it.
I never gave bugs much thought in the past, but I just love them so much after these strange encounters. What funny little creatures they are.
Anyone kick it with ant beings or other bugs?
submitted by Icy-Photograph-5799 to Experiencers [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:29 DigitalWeepingGhost 33 [M4F] California/ USA - Whoever said dating is easy in your 30’s LIEEDDDD 😂😂

Am I the only one who finds Dating in your 30’s so….confusing? I mean you’re in this awkwardly sweet spot of being too old or too young for people. I try to date somebody in their late 20’s (27+) I’m too old, try to date somebody my age (30+) and I’m too young. Im I’m living in a personal dating hell lol. SO here I am on Reddit, dragging myself from shores of the digital cesspools we call dating apps. I’m putting a serious effort in finding a warm, loving, loyal, genuine respectful person to call my life partner and enjoy life together. Of course we would work our way to being together. Bonding, learning each other’s characteristics etc. I prefer somebody local but open to anybody in the USA. So As Ozzy Osborne says “I’m shooting my shot in the dark” (great song btw)
I am a 33 year old professional from the east coast currently living in Southern California for the past 4 years and been single for 5 years sadly. I have an amazing career as a clothing designer and graphic artist and a clothing brand owner all of which is my dream jobs and occupations. I got to meet celebrities and work with them on numerous projects which is always exciting. My social life here is kinda dull since moving to California. I only get to interact with people if it’s networking in the industry, unfortunately I’m a shy guy so I don’t go out cat calling women at bars or your local Starbucks lol. But when I open up to being comfortable I’m a total charismatic gem. I’m a very loyal, chivalrous, respectful, loving, genuine, thoughtful, monogamous, spontaneous, funny, patient, open minded, adventurous, intellectual. I’m also Very goal driven, motivating, and a supportive man always wanting the best for you and your life. I Can be clingy but not in a stalker smothering way, more so the type of guy who craves giving my undivided affection and attention to who I’m with 110%. I want the person I’m with feel loved and thought about 24/7. Willing to relocate wherever for the right one if it gets to that point. Just to be with you ❤️.
Physically…I look like a potato 😂 jk I’m 6ft tall 180 lbs (but definitely in shape) Mixed race of black and Chinese, nice light brown /caramel skin, long braided auburn colored hair ( alien hair honestly because it naturally changes colors with the temperature outside) 6 tattoos 2 nose piercings, brown eyes and I was always told I have nice eyes and godly eyelashes 🫥 which idk how to take but yea it’s a thing i guess lol. Heres some pics of me :) https://imgur.com/a/9I9JwxJ I dress very nicely from what I was always told. Most of the time I have a punk & streetwear meshed aesthetic.
My day to day bullshit aka hobbies and interest: •Making art is my ❤️ •Designing clothes for my brand •Go to the beach •Workout 5-6 days a week •Reading •Practice choreography and dance (I used to be in a competitive dance battle group Let me teach you some moves 💃🕺) •learning about space or nature •cooking (yes I can out cook you, don’t try it 😂) •infatuated with nature and the outdoors •learning and teaching new things •listening to good music •Gaming and streaming on twitch during the weekends and some weeknights after work. •I read manga and watch anime BUT let me put a disclaimer…THIS doesn’t mean I want to talk about this stuff all day everyday lol. Yes let’s watch something together or discuss a theory or two, but don’t wake up with it on your mind first thing in the day. It’s a turnoff tbh.
What I’m looking for in you? Yes…we all have a preference that’s totally normal. But some people are unreasonably picky lol. So first off ill say that I don’t care what religion or race you are or If you want kids or have one already. Those things don’t determine who will love me and vice versa. So come and talk to me I won’t reject you. However I do need a woman that’s:
•Goal driven and goal oriented. •Monogamous •Knows what she wants in life and in a man •Funny, smart, respectful, not afraid to commit (like me), loving, imperfect, genuine, seriously loyal, feminine, supportive, educated, non political, outgoing, loves to travel/explore. •looking for a serious long term relationship •Cultured •Physically active and healthy (not saying you need to be a model or even close but at least be active or in shape like I am. I used to be obese years ago and I don’t plan on going back and I see WAYYY too many woman demanding a fit male but don’t even want to workout themselves.) •Drug free and std free (I’m 420 and psychedelic friendly) •26+ in age living in the U.S, definitely a plus if you live in California.
So hopefully you made it this far, hopefully I caught somebodies eye, hopefully the love of my life is reading this…please send an introduction of yourself with a SFW selfie. Open to a long distance distance relationship thing if you’re within the U.S. but I’d like for us to ideally meet fairly soon and visit each other often until one of us relocated to be closer to one another.
Thank you for reading this. There’s so much more about me for you to learn, in a good way lol.
TLDR: I need a boothang to make my queen ❤️😊
submitted by DigitalWeepingGhost to r4r [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:28 shamefulkiss9916 Lost on parenting

TLDR; Very wild child that no method of parenting seems to work. Rant below im just desperate to feel seen and understood, I feel like literally no one gets what level this is.
I will be as concise as possible but there are alot of details I feel are necessary. Im the one with ADHD and I wouldn't be suprised if my 3yo has it too. I am told his behavior is typical of his age and it isn't indicative of ADHD but I see alot of myself in him and its almost like I can read what he's thinking sometimes, but I cant communicate or show him anything to be able to help him.
I was raised traditionally and I swore I'd break the cycle. Lets just say im not as bad as I was raised but not much better either... I'm trying with all the mental energy I have to not show my anger, not raise my voice unnecessarily, not raise a hand to him, not punish or discipline in ways that are unrelated to the "crime", etc etc but im miserably failing.
I have tried stepping away to collect myself, screaming outside away from him, speaking to him in short sentences to make a point clear. It had gotten so bad that I turned to legal dr*gs and drinking to cope and take away the constant 24/7 stress and failure. But then I got pregnant with #2 and now all of my coping mechanisms are gone. I cant even take ADHD meds or mood stabilizers or even anti-depressants (the only one i am allowed to take is useless for me).
So I decided to switch my shift, I now am with him for 4 days and I work for 3 (in 12 hr shifts). I thought if im home with him more I can work on bonding with him more before the new baby, I can work on his aggression and anger, his temper tantrums, his eating, his sleeping, etc. But no, it's been awful. I have nightmares every night that are the pregnancy kind so theyre extremely vivid and I talk and act out my dreams so im worried i am acting them out. Theyre intrusive thought types of dreams about me being 10x more of an awful parent than I already am. This is taking a toll because now I wake up feeling drugged and not sure if im awake or not until about 1PM. Then I have no energy and im constantly watching and trying to see signs of if I acted out my dreams or not.
My kid is extremely defiant. I signed him up for reading classes and Tee Ball and he will not sit down or be quiet, he hits if you try to make him sit down and he screams and throws things and throws tantrums if you take him away from a situation. He has been begging to do baseball so we signed him up and paid alot for it (enough for me to be upset if its wasted). We take him and he spend the entire time hitting and screaming and rolling in the grass while all the other 3 yo kids are doing perfectly exactly what they're supposed to. And its not like we havent practiced with him before hand. Some parents just laughed like his inattention was cute and like all other kids but every single kid there was doing perfect.
He will starve himself even if we feed him foods he likes, just simply bc he says no. Then come bedtime after fighting with him for an hour, he suddenly decides he's sick because he's so hungry. So then there goes another hour because even tho he insisted he was starving and couldn't sleep, he piddled around and refused to eat his favorite foods still until I have either gotten loud or gotten physical. Theres only so much I can calmly and concisely speak to him about what has to happen until I know that I have to resort to other methods. Even then, those don't work all the time. Half the time he doesnt speak clearly on purpose, and he talks in this weird croaky voice and I tell him I cant understand him and then he flips out.
The part of me that connects with him and feels like I can read him is the part that sees he just wants attention, and is stressed maybe or not getting fulfilled somehow. But as a parent im literally trying so hard to fulfill those needs and its not enough. Theres so much I can do better but I cant seem to make it happen. I dont think hes intentionally acting out and hitting and screaming and simply not listening AT ALL just to piss us off, but I have absolutely no idea wtf to do. He has always been like this. I cant speak to him to help him because he cant even look me in the eye unless I demand it to make him focus. I make him look me in the eyes sometimes because it seems to make a point sometimes and he almost listens. But I can tell him sometjing and he'll say ok before I even finish my sentence and then he's back to screaming, hitting, running off, not listening, etc.
The whole gentle parenting doesn't work, even if I baby talk, or speak properly, speak with detail, speak kurtly, literally nothing, I can be consistent with consequences and he will forget or not listen. I can give traditional discipline and talking to's, etc and that doesn't stick either. Neither way feels realistic or doable for us. I feel so fucking awful because it triggers my own PTSD to enact how I was treated as a kid but sometimes it at least shuts down the constant defiance or dangerous behavior. But it teaches him violence and I dont like it. I struggle even touching him some days bc I get so scared of what I'll do. Even as a kid, I would beat my dolls and throw them against walls, I choked out our mini pomeranian for killing our hamster, i choked and beat any animals I had for misbehavior when I was younger too. Ive snapped and slipped up as an adult as well. Somedays I slip up and almost fucking choke him too. But I haven't. When I was 5mo PP I had an argument with his father and it sent me other the edge. I was already deeply suicidal in pregnancy and PP, but this time I swerved to drive me and my son into the underside of a bridge into the pillars but I split second swerved back and didnt hit anything. I thought at least he'd would be dead and not remember this and he wouldn't have to live with me as a mother and then id be able to put an end to the awful-ness i bring in my existence alone.
I feel like the answer here is going to say "go to therapy and quit trauma dumping, we're not therapists" but I literally can't. I have tried and the words don't come out or they seem to not understand anything im saying. I can barely scrape the surface on issues and they will act confused and I get an air of superiority from them. I cant imagine the consequences i would get into if I went into detail on what intrusive thoughts ive had and what I have done up to these 3 years of having him. If I even expressed the "traditional" methods of spanking etc, CPS would be called and id get the other one taken away as well. Im literally fighting so hard. I have no one to express these thoughts to and his father just doesn't get the severity when ive tried to barely scrape the tip of these issues Im so fucking lost. I just wanted to raise a good decent human and not be the reason he's in therapy but everyday is a new failure. And he seems to only get worse every single day.
Thank you if you've managed to read this far and I honestly dont have strength for judgement so I wont be responding if you have it. If you express it then thats fair as well.
submitted by shamefulkiss9916 to ParentingADHD [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:26 somebodyawesomelol [H] 502 cases [W] Knife around 1350$ 502:1 or 502:2

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submitted by somebodyawesomelol to GlobalOffensiveTrade [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:17 indian-goose Caste, Casteism and modern Hindu praxis as compared to the original wisdom of Vedas

Caste is an interesting evil and a social phenomenon of the Indian soil. It is founded neither on subjective nor objective fact or reality; yet it influences our minds in a strange way and makes us behave peculiarly, as if possessed by the notion, which becomes sufficiently real to us. The patterns that the notion is able to trace on social behavior have strange outlines and persistent and deep origins. Primitive peoples suffer from it more than those who lead an open and dynamic life. Separatist instinct itself supports it from the negative side. Race and color provide it sometimes with a semblance of objective reality.
From the positive side of human nature, vague notions of traditional origin and of supposed spiritual value lend it support. Thus nourished it thrives on the tree of life as epiphyte. Though unsupported by scientific ethnology, weak people rely on a pseudo-sociology in which they find some consolation. As it works in favor of some sections of the people as against others, those who reap the advantage naturally give it their support. The notion thus enters as a factor in the struggle for life and the very vagueness of the claims of caste superiority keeps it alive from generation to generation.
Outward marks and behavior give caste an independent objective reality, as when a policeman wears his uniform. Thus given artificially, the outer reality meets the inner psychology, so that with vague sociological and psychological justifications, the notion of caste establishes itself firmly rooted in the body politic, economic and social. Its very unreasonableness is its strength, and unwary people get their notions of spirituality molded by it through its ready-made shapes of forms available in actual society at a given time.
The social value called ‘chastity’, especially the chastity of women, is at the core of this notion of caste. As the Epic Ramayana had Sita at its core in the long and eventful stories in which men killed each other in great numbers, so caste thrives as a vague fear in the subconscious group mind of peoples lest imaginary cultural or religious barriers should be violated by the so-called outsiders. The danger of the confusion of castes to which Arjuna himself alludes in the Bhagavad Gita (I.41) is thought of as arising from unchaste women due to mixing up of castes. It is true that Krishna himself, as representing Absolute wisdom, does not support this view, but wholly ignores the plea. Caste is a word of Portuguese origin currently used in India after the historic connection of the Portuguese with India in recent times. It is derived from the same root as ‘chaste’. It refers to the purity claimed by a clan or tribe because of the chastity of the women within its closed and static imaginary frontiers.
When caste notions became a chronic nightmare to the Indian mind, various rationalizations were attempted by the fundamentalist orthodoxy at different epochs of Indian history. The post-Gupta period was responsible for formulating caste as a social system, and it was then it got its sonorous title of varna-ashrama-dharma (duty, based on color or race and stage or calling in life).
In Spite of such a fine-sounding name based on a compromise and an attempted rationalization, however, caste as a system remains vague and indefinable still from any understandable norms or standards, whether ethnological, sociological or biological. Varna-ashrama-dharma (color-calling-duty), kula-dharma (clan-duty) and jati-dharma (duty as belonging to a kind of species of beings) are to be distinguished carefully if we are to get anywhere to the bottom of the riddle of caste.
We have seen that the first term (varna-ashrama-dharma) is a vague attempt at the rationalization of caste for politico-economic purposes after the Gupta period. The second term, kula-dharma refers to the inbreeding and purity of strain of certain clans. A lower-caste woman could marry a high-caste man but the converse would not be permissible, and so forth. These are features of such a caste-system as prevailed for historical reasons and which no longer hold good in modern India. They deserve to be forgotten as a bad dream.
Casteism in Bhagavad Gita and Vedas
The Bhagavad Gita has two main references to caste, one at the end of ninth chapter and one in the eighteenth chapter. The well-known ‘chatur-varnyam’ reference alluded to Bhagavad Gita’s attempt at making a social hierarchy as presented in chapter 4 verse 13 is a himalayan attempt by the orthodoxy to justify caste and make an impression that it is hardwired to the social system by God, giving it an absolute status.
Chapter 4 of Gita is called Jnana-Yoga (Unitive Wisdom) which is preceded by the teachings pertaining to the Unitive way of action. On carefully studying the Gita, the specific verse (13) is not talking about a four-fold division in society but it is talking about the nature of action (karma) and its apparent origin in Absolute Reality. The obligatory character of caste is taken away and characterized as a free and contingent factor in life. This is found in Chapter XI, verse 32, which throws open the door of the high spirituality recommended in the Gita to women, vaisyas (traders) and even those outside the Aryan pale (sudras). A further comparison of the implications of the sequence of verses (Chapter XVIII, 41 et seq) confers a revalued status of caste free from all obligatory character altogether. When this is read together with (XVIII.66) the wisdom-teacher says to abandon all dharma (duties) and take refuge in Absolute wisdom, which is not a state of inaction or morbid selflessness but to act according to one's own inherent tendencies and talents without the anxiety and spiritual regret. Then the caste hierarchy based on vocation becomes shadowy and non-existent and humans are free to choose their own caste.
Furthermore, in one among the 108 Upanishads which are considered as authentic, the Vajrasuchika Upanishad explicitly talks about who is a Brahamana - the holy order. It is not based on birth or action that a Brahamana is identified but his spiritual status as a person endowed with Absolute experiential wisdom. There are more references from even major Upanishads (Chandogya Upanishad - the episode of Janasruti and Raikva) where a sudra was instructed in Brahma-vidya (the Science of the Absolute) which is kept secret and away from all by the Brahmanical orthodoxy now. This shows how ignorant, misinformed and fanatical the orthodoxy really is.
Man’s Humanity Distinguishes the Human Kind
Reformist Sage like Narayana Guru (from Kerala) had an approach to the problem of caste which was neither accidental or unconscious. In the first line of his composition he evidently addresses himself to the Hindu orthodoxy when he insists in the Sanskrit language of Hindu orthodoxy itself that humanity is what should give us superiority. In other words the good person is one who is more human and who recognizes humanity in his fellow beings.
The requirements of social justice, of morality, and for the superiority in the name of one’s caste are all thus referred to the same central and unitive principle in the value called Humanity. Likewise when human and godly values are treated unitively in the religious context we get the same result of an absolute human value at the core of human affairs.
On a certain occasion the Guru went so far as to say that if his devoted followers insisted as they sometimes did, on considering him as an apostle of God, they could so only on condition that such a status was conferred on him because of his opposition to caste as it prevailed.
The unique status of Narayana Guru implicit and explicit in his attitude as one who wished to abolish caste barriers is a matter that needs greater recognition in modern times not only in India but the world over. The poignant complaint of the Guru is expressed at the very end of the very first verse of his composition: “Alas ! This truth no one understands!”
We see that authentic Indian seers and wisdom teachers were not with the orthodoxy in their claims of being a superior individual but they saw sameness in all beings. This we see in the master-mind of Vyasa himself in his epoch-making masterpiece - The Bhagavad Gita, we read:
“The wise man considers with equality the brahmin endowed with learning and humility, the cow, the elephant and the dog as also the dog-eater. (V.18)”
These words put the seal as it were on the uniqueness of the discovery of the Indian Gurus in their own words. The unity and solidarity of humanity was what was most dear to the heart of these spiritual giants.
Narayana Guru, like many others spent all his life revaluing and restating the ancient perennial wisdom of the Indian seers - the Upanishads. When there was a gathering in his humble hermitage, he asked one of his attendants to make a welcome sign in bold letters which says:
“AUM! SAHODARYAM SARVATRA !” “AUM! Brotherhood Omnipresent Fills !”
submitted by indian-goose to IndiaSpeaks [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 20:16 indian-goose Caste, Casteism and modern Hindu praxis as compared to the original wisdom of Vedas

Caste is an interesting evil and a social phenomenon of the Indian soil. It is founded neither on subjective nor objective fact or reality; yet it influences our minds in a strange way and makes us behave peculiarly, as if possessed by the notion, which becomes sufficiently real to us. The patterns that the notion is able to trace on social behavior have strange outlines and persistent and deep origins. Primitive peoples suffer from it more than those who lead an open and dynamic life. Separatist instinct itself supports it from the negative side. Race and color provide it sometimes with a semblance of objective reality.
From the positive side of human nature, vague notions of traditional origin and of supposed spiritual value lend it support. Thus nourished it thrives on the tree of life as epiphyte. Though unsupported by scientific ethnology, weak people rely on a pseudo-sociology in which they find some consolation. As it works in favor of some sections of the people as against others, those who reap the advantage naturally give it their support. The notion thus enters as a factor in the struggle for life and the very vagueness of the claims of caste superiority keeps it alive from generation to generation.
Outward marks and behavior give caste an independent objective reality, as when a policeman wears his uniform. Thus given artificially, the outer reality meets the inner psychology, so that with vague sociological and psychological justifications, the notion of caste establishes itself firmly rooted in the body politic, economic and social. Its very unreasonableness is its strength, and unwary people get their notions of spirituality molded by it through its ready-made shapes of forms available in actual society at a given time.
The social value called ‘chastity’, especially the chastity of women, is at the core of this notion of caste. As the Epic Ramayana had Sita at its core in the long and eventful stories in which men killed each other in great numbers, so caste thrives as a vague fear in the subconscious group mind of peoples lest imaginary cultural or religious barriers should be violated by the so-called outsiders. The danger of the confusion of castes to which Arjuna himself alludes in the Bhagavad Gita (I.41) is thought of as arising from unchaste women due to mixing up of castes. It is true that Krishna himself, as representing Absolute wisdom, does not support this view, but wholly ignores the plea. Caste is a word of Portuguese origin currently used in India after the historic connection of the Portuguese with India in recent times. It is derived from the same root as ‘chaste’. It refers to the purity claimed by a clan or tribe because of the chastity of the women within its closed and static imaginary frontiers.
When caste notions became a chronic nightmare to the Indian mind, various rationalizations were attempted by the fundamentalist orthodoxy at different epochs of Indian history. The post-Gupta period was responsible for formulating caste as a social system, and it was then it got its sonorous title of varna-ashrama-dharma (duty, based on color or race and stage or calling in life).
In Spite of such a fine-sounding name based on a compromise and an attempted rationalization, however, caste as a system remains vague and indefinable still from any understandable norms or standards, whether ethnological, sociological or biological. Varna-ashrama-dharma (color-calling-duty), kula-dharma (clan-duty) and jati-dharma (duty as belonging to a kind of species of beings) are to be distinguished carefully if we are to get anywhere to the bottom of the riddle of caste.
We have seen that the first term (varna-ashrama-dharma) is a vague attempt at the rationalization of caste for politico-economic purposes after the Gupta period. The second term, kula-dharma refers to the inbreeding and purity of strain of certain clans. A lower-caste woman could marry a high-caste man but the converse would not be permissible, and so forth. These are features of such a caste-system as prevailed for historical reasons and which no longer hold good in modern India. They deserve to be forgotten as a bad dream.
Casteism in Bhagavad Gita and Vedas
The Bhagavad Gita has two main references to caste, one at the end of ninth chapter and one in the eighteenth chapter. The well-known ‘chatur-varnyam’ reference alluded to Bhagavad Gita’s attempt at making a social hierarchy as presented in chapter 4 verse 13 is a himalayan attempt by the orthodoxy to justify caste and make an impression that it is hardwired to the social system by God, giving it an absolute status.
Chapter 4 of Gita is called Jnana-Yoga (Unitive Wisdom) which is preceded by the teachings pertaining to the Unitive way of action. On carefully studying the Gita, the specific verse (13) is not talking about a four-fold division in society but it is talking about the nature of action (karma) and its apparent origin in Absolute Reality. The obligatory character of caste is taken away and characterized as a free and contingent factor in life. This is found in Chapter XI, verse 32, which throws open the door of the high spirituality recommended in the Gita to women, vaisyas (traders) and even those outside the Aryan pale (sudras). A further comparison of the implications of the sequence of verses (Chapter XVIII, 41 et seq) confers a revalued status of caste free from all obligatory character altogether. When this is read together with (XVIII.66) the wisdom-teacher says to abandon all dharma (duties) and take refuge in Absolute wisdom, which is not a state of inaction or morbid selflessness but to act according to one's own inherent tendencies and talents without the anxiety and spiritual regret. Then the caste hierarchy based on vocation becomes shadowy and non-existent and humans are free to choose their own caste.
Furthermore, in one among the 108 Upanishads which are considered as authentic, the Vajrasuchika Upanishad explicitly talks about who is a Brahamana - the holy order. It is not based on birth or action that a Brahamana is identified but his spiritual status as a person endowed with Absolute experiential wisdom. There are more references from even major Upanishads (Chandogya Upanishad - the episode of Janasruti and Raikva) where a sudra was instructed in Brahma-vidya (the Science of the Absolute) which is kept secret and away from all by the Brahmanical orthodoxy now. This shows how ignorant, misinformed and fanatical the orthodoxy really is.
Man’s Humanity Distinguishes the Human Kind
Reformist Sage like Narayana Guru (from Kerala) had an approach to the problem of caste which was neither accidental or unconscious. In the first line of his composition he evidently addresses himself to the Hindu orthodoxy when he insists in the Sanskrit language of Hindu orthodoxy itself that humanity is what should give us superiority. In other words the good person is one who is more human and who recognizes humanity in his fellow beings.
The requirements of social justice, of morality, and for the superiority in the name of one’s caste are all thus referred to the same central and unitive principle in the value called Humanity. Likewise when human and godly values are treated unitively in the religious context we get the same result of an absolute human value at the core of human affairs.
On a certain occasion the Guru went so far as to say that if his devoted followers insisted as they sometimes did, on considering him as an apostle of God, they could so only on condition that such a status was conferred on him because of his opposition to caste as it prevailed.
The unique status of Narayana Guru implicit and explicit in his attitude as one who wished to abolish caste barriers is a matter that needs greater recognition in modern times not only in India but the world over. The poignant complaint of the Guru is expressed at the very end of the very first verse of his composition: “Alas ! This truth no one understands!”
We see that authentic Indian seers and wisdom teachers were not with the orthodoxy in their claims of being a superior individual but they saw sameness in all beings. This we see in the master-mind of Vyasa himself in his epoch-making masterpiece - The Bhagavad Gita, we read:
“The wise man considers with equality the brahmin endowed with learning and humility, the cow, the elephant and the dog as also the dog-eater. (V.18)”
These words put the seal as it were on the uniqueness of the discovery of the Indian Gurus in their own words. The unity and solidarity of humanity was what was most dear to the heart of these spiritual giants.
Narayana Guru, like many others spent all his life revaluing and restating the ancient perennial wisdom of the Indian seers - the Upanishads. When there was a gathering in his humble hermitage, he asked one of his attendants to make a welcome sign in bold letters which says:
“AUM! SAHODARYAM SARVATRA !” “AUM! Brotherhood Omnipresent Fills !”
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