Baptist health sleep clinic little rock

For the last several years I've had the experience of getting a little lightheaded and slightly dizzy after a few nights of not sleeping well. About six weeks ago I woke up after traveling to the east coast and had what was most likely BPPV while in bed (happened when I lay down on my right side). It cleared up after a few hours (doing simply BPPV exercises and little positional movements throughout the day).
Traveled around the east coast, slept ok, then went to Rome. Had a blast, stayed out late every night, got Covid (in bed for two days, but not awful), and then a week or two later flew back to NJ. A few days after getting back to NJ, same thing happened as the first time: positional vertigo in bed. Fast forward about 5 days, flew back to LA. Was quite dehydrated feeling after the flight (drank a ton of water before and during, with LMNT added to it). Woke up feeling tired but nothing crazy. Walked my dog, came home and while in the kitchen preparing my dog's food I looked down and got hit with a wave of vertigo. This one feels different than the first time, more based on the head going up or down (nodding, essentially) and I feel it when upright vs last time where it was more positional on the right side when in bed.
Anyway, went to urgent care because today felt worse than last time and they ruled anything serious out. Got some Rx to help with the motion sickness etc should it continue and will go to an ENT if it doesn't improve.
Just wondering if any of my fellow health conscious, oura wearers have experience something similar. Quite a bummer as I'd much rather be running and deadlifting than in bed.
Ultimately, my best guess is that sleep deprivation and crossing many time zones while traveling (I flew from Rome on 5/27 and to LA on 6/5...in the end my travels involved 6 flights in as many weeks) and COVID and life stress (my union is on strike right now and it's not looking great at the moment) combined to just knock me for a loop.
Does any of this resonate with anyone out there?

I'm 24F. I live in the US. I grew up with little to no friends, no one that would come over my house, no one to talk to. I grew up shy, overweight and horribly ugly. I got bullied. I would often hear my parents fight, you know the usual. The friends I would make ended terribly for whatever reason and I could never keep anyone in my life. I suffered with depression and severe social anxiety throughout my entire middle and high school experience. I didn't talk to anyone, they all avoided me. I was obese and hard to look at and very very weird. I was off putting.
In high school (right before my senior year) I finally made a group of friends. It was around 2016, it was going well until I was fighting with someone about something so trivial, I'm pretty sure it was about Trump and how they supported him. I started to act very toxic when I felt like I was being pushed out of the group. I would cause scenes and yell and cry sometimes. I told someone in the group to kill themselves and then I said I wanted to kill myself, I still regret it to this day. They protected their friend and gave me numbers to a therapist and psychiatrist, which looking back I thank that one person for doing that, we were all only 17. They also threatened to call the cops on me because I was texting that one person non-stop. I can't even remember why now. I was in a weird platonic-romantic relationship with them and they didn't want me around anymore.
I dropped out my senior year (2017) My mental health got worse and my parents weren't helping me. I went to a therapist once and they couldn't afford it. I knew something was wrong with me but they chose to ignore it because I was still "growing up" what transpired between my only group of friends in high school was not normal.
After I dropped out I immediately got a job at a local fast food place and got my GED. A year later I lost almost all of my weight and I finally felt normal. I was socializing as best I could, I met my first boyfriend at my job and I got my drivers license. I was feeling on top of the world.
A couple years later, I was dating my first boyfriend/ex for about 4 years. During the relationship we had a lot of fights, a lot of them started early because we worked together 24/7. There was a lot of issues between the both of us. I stopped driving, I still didn't have friends and he was supporting me mentally and physically. My mental health started to crash again. He was getting annoyed with my anxiety and other things but still tried to be supportive. We both came from troubling homes but he did have friends and a better social life and he was generally a very pleasant person. He is a good guy. I had problems managing my emotions and generally just trying to be a good person too. I thought my mental health issues went away when I was working consistently and lost weight but they didn't. He had problems opening up and communicating, he would hide stuff from me and lie sometimes. Which led me to feel threatened and I would act jealous and controlling. I would have outbursts sometimes. He witnessed me fighting with my family a lot and with our relationship it's honestly too much to talk about. It hurts. My family had problems, his family had problems (especially with his mom, she hated me but she was also very toxic) and we were both young and unhealed and attached to each other. We were very immature at times.
This led to us breaking up. We don't even talk anymore.
I feel like I failure because between high school and now I feel like I have accomplished nothing. I feel like I'm starting from zero. I gained all my weight back, I don't have a car, I don't have a job anymore. I don't have any money. I live at home. I was job hopping between 2019-2021. I cant even imagine having to work a full time job for the rest of my life with no important skills. My depression is at an all time high, I still didn't go back to a therapist because I can't afford it. I never went to college, right before I dropped out my GPA was probably lower than 1 because of my mental health. So I only have my GED certificate. Literally nothing is on my side. I lost the only guy who supported me and saw something in me. I lost my chance to befriend his friends and actually have a life. He was truly, the most important person to come into my life. He was my friend. And I took it all for granted. Honestly if he came back I would probably make the same mistakes again because I am a broken human being. Genetically there's something wrong with me.
Right now I only have me. My parents are a lost cause for advice. I lost my ex too. I have no friends to go to. Everyday I have so much guilt for how I acted in the past towards people. Everyday I'm reminded how much of a failure I am. I recognize how I messed up in the past. I wish I could apologize to certain people but its best that I stay invisible. Before I go to sleep I think how much better it would be if I didn't have to try anymore, that I could just end it because at the end of the day everyone dies anyway.
I don't want to be a bad person. I don't want to be insecure or toxic. But I see bad people who have done worse than me thriving. Then I think am I really that horrible? Did I just come from a broken home which led me to feel insecure with myself and I would take it out on others? I didn't maliciously bully anyone but I would be mean and cold to people I thought were bullying me. I would become attached to anyone who wanted to be my friend, but then that friendship would end bad. I have done other things too I don't want to talk about but it was probably a way for me to want to feel accepted by someone.
I know I have depression. But I have questioned if I have undiagnosed BPD, ADHD, Bipolar disorder (my moms side of the family has it), autism. I know getting a diagnosis on any of these would be incredibly difficult but there's something not right.
I just want to feel normal.

I've owned Hitman 3 / WOA for 2 months, racked up almost 700 hours of playtime. I'm at level 488. Order of magnitude more playtime than any other game I own. I love the game, but as I approach 100% in story mode, I'm extremely frustrated by some of IOI's decisions - decisions that I see regularly defended here and elsewhere in the name of avoiding OP (overpowered-ness), "making the game too easy" or "corrupting the leaderboards".
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1. Abolish online requirement Ultimately it is little more than the worst sort of user-abusive DRM. Like so many people in abusive relationships, many users defend IOI and rationalize it... allowing IOI to continue kicking us down the stairs if our internet glitches. It needs to stop.
   1. Hitman is an exclusively single-player game (Please read this a few times) and the connectivity requirement is worse than the universally loathed Denuvo DRM.
   2. The server communication provides no benefit to the users - quite the opposite in fact. The game is frequently abruptly stopped if the internet isn't rock solid. The server check-ins make saving and loading slow - painfully so at times, and images regularly fail to load. This makes finding elusive targets particularly difficult when their picture doesn't load.
   3. It does not, nor should it prevent cheats/mods. This is a matter of accessibility - dexterity or cognitive deficits make many games impossibly difficult without modification.
   4. It does NOT prevent cheating on the leaderboards, and IOI doesn't seem to cleanup obviously fake scores. In other words the leaderboards are not even remotely pristine. Just look at SPRUT.
   5. The community has developed a workaround server emulator, but it does not provide the game experience you paid for - progression, unlocking, etc. Hitman 3 is around 2 years old, but the game costs as much as a new game -- considering the quality I'm ok with the price but I'm not ok with being dependent on IOI's servers to play a game I own. Nobody should be ok with this.
2. Allow the option to save in ALL game modes
   1. A simple solution would be to add multiple difficulties to escalations, freelancer, sniper assassin and arcade mode. Then anti-savers can have their exclusive leaderboards, which will still be dominated by SPRUT.
   2. The arguments against this claim it would make the game too easy (and mess up the leaderboards). Remember, the leaderboards are already messed up and difficulty/fun are both extremely subjective. Don't assume your definitions of "too easy", or "fun" are universal.
3. Allow carrying more loadout items
   1. Agent 47 can conceal an unlimited number of violins and wine bottles under his shirt. In casual mode, why not let a briefcase hold two, or even four items depending on size? Or how about letting us bring two pistols like in the movies and the friggin' game logo? Or maybe Agent 47 could put the lockpick, coins and fiberwire in the same pocket. Maybe upgraded poisons could have more than a single dose? Or how about a swiss-army knife??
   2. The arguments against this claim it would make the game too easy (and mess up the leaderboards). Remember, the leaderboards are already messed up and difficulty/fun are both extremely subjective. Don't assume your definitions of "too easy", or "fun" are universal.
4. Fix longstanding bugs
   1. Inventory and planning screen images - such as the image of the coins - regularly fail to load, requiring restarting the game.
   2. Some levels are notoriously glitchy when saving and loading. Miami crashes a LOT. If an NPC has been hidden and would never be spotted, sometimes loading causes them to be spotted. Seems to be especially bad when hiding a body in foliage, but in Mendoza loading causes guards to spawn in the wrong place. Game loads should be deterministic (i.e. always load the same, ideally the same as the game was when saved) for things that matter. In other games it may be fine for dead / sleeping bodies to be dropped in a approximate location, but not Hitman.
   3. The few guards that use an appropriate accent occasionally shout obscenities at you in that obnoxious UK voice when spotted (I noticed this in Mendoza) -- come on. Talk about ruined immersion.
5. Fix NPC personal space (aka not everyone is a rude asshole)
   1. Almost all NPCs react in a rude, script-interrupting manner if you or they get too close. This becomes very annoying when you are supposed to talk to someone and/or hand them something. The NPC will be halfway through a 2-minute diatribe before you can hand them something, and another NPC bumps into you moving you too close... "GET OUT OF MY FACE YOUR BREATH STINKS OMG DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM GO AWAY!!" then the monologue restarts 🤬.Many people - myself included - will apologize when someone else bumps into them. People are generally much more courteous and understanding about invasions of personal space; even more so in public places.I find it particularly immersion-breaking when that one NPC says "there goes my future ex-husband 😍..." then walks into you and immediately turns cruel and verbally abusive.
6. Make PC VR usable
   1. Chest orb assumes player is not overweight and cannot be adjusted. I would imagine boobs could also cause problems. Terrible mechanic for something you need to do constantly - should just be a button.
   2. Controls are unbearably clunky. Too many buttons to remember, requires precision from imprecise controllers, requires use of both hands with zero customization... All-in-all very inaccessible to people with dexterity, mobility or cognitive issues and completely non-intuitive.

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I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said -- I'm saying it because it needs to be said more.
The Battered Consumer Stockholm Syndrome / delusional leaderboard purist rhetoric is creating the appearance of complacency, giving IOI no reason to change. The first two items in particular are crucial - the entire 7-deadly-sins DLC is escalations in which you cannot save... and people are ok with this.

I feel like in my mental health journey, I am better than I used to be. A few months ago, I was in the hospital; it was a stressful but necessary experience. A part of me still feels embarrassed that I went there, and my family (only my father though) kinda making that experience difficult for me. I am taking medication and I have a counselor to talk to...I still don't feel comfortable talking about my mental health to my parents, especially my dad because I don't think he will understand no matter how I phrase it. I am still not where I want to be; I feel like I won't get there until I move out. I think the main source of my depression and anxiety is just living with my parents. Having serious discussions with my father most of the time stresses me out and it feels like I can't really say what I really think without making things worse. There's a lot he doesn't know about me, he knows that I have mental health issues and is semi-comfortable that I take medication and that I have a counselor. He does ask what we talk about, but I just give him a general answer. I know my dad loves me and I love him; I just don't think I can ever be comfortable around him when talking about these things. I can talk about surface level things, but that's it. I still get depressed and experience shitty anxiety, but I cannot tell him that without getting a lecture. So, I have to deal with it myself and just keep my head up.
I still find it hard to really think about the future. I don't think I have much of a future. I like to think I'll still be alive and I want to be, but I don't know what is in store for me. I feel like (so sorry that I'm saying that a lot) most of my decisions will revolve with what my father wants for me. I have an idea of what job I'd want, but with my degree I feel like I am making a mistake even though I love it. I'm a psychology major and I plan on only getting my bachelor's for now. I know that most psychology jobs require a master's; I just want a job that suits me, whether that's in the psychology field or not. I don't really talk about my major too much because it's because a pretty triggering topic. On top of that, I know my father doesn't like it.
Today my father took my brother out to help him with driving; I came along with them. My brother doesn't go out driving that much, so today he was a bit rusty. Whenever my brother made a mistake, my father borderline yelled at him and was very, very firm with him and obviously made my brother nervous. For the most part, my brother controlled himself. I know my father will be the same with me. I can probably hint to him to tone it down a little, but I have to control my emotions while he's doing that. Being around my father, I have learned how to hide what I truly feel and try to maintain myself. It can be hard, and when we break down, it just makes things worse.
I will be getting my permit soon, and I'll start practicing driving. I rather practice with my mom but she's not too comfortable with it. I don't like being along with my father or being close to him, but it's just something I have to deal with. I see it as a...challenge of course. It is just a challenge that won't last forever.
Anyway, I am still pretty nervous about my future and moving out when that time comes. It's mainly about what my father wants for me. I feel that I have to be what he wants me to be; if I go a different route, it'll go all wrong. I know I have to keep telling myself that I cannot control other people's emotions. It can be so hard as a people-pleaser and being raised in a sheltered environment. I rather not say how sheltered it is, but there is a lot I have to unlearn.
I'm scared that I'll never be ready for adulthood. I'll be 20 years old soon and I see that as a very strange thing. It is a good thing because a few months ago I did not think I would be alive; I wanted to die so much and wished to die in my sleep. It does feel weird to be getting older and stressful, but at least I can celebrate another birthday.
Whoever's reading this, thanks I guess. I don't expect any responses; I just wanted to get this out there. I don't talk too much about my life anymore because it is embarrassing. I know not a lot of people are in the same situation. Hopefully I am not sounding whiny, bitchy, or childish. I know my father wants the best for me and wants to help guide me through life...I hate that he is a source of my mental health issues though.

Prepare yourself for a pretty long post, but I just really have to put it out there. Reddit have been my output/diary and I really do hope that posting here helps not only me but also some of you guy.
Let me tell you guys I think this REALLY is worth it, I mean the recovery. (btw I always knew that it was but kinda couldn't have imagined myself to doing it). Okay so quick update I have being doing the all-in recovery since February, and by all-in I really do mean eat and eat and gain and then eat again. I would say that the first 3 months have been really tough, this involved: crying, really "hating" my body, being scared, ditching social events just to sleep, eat and relax, and being my biggest judge. Since the end of May, I am really starting to feel like myself and not someone who is only thinking about food, calories, and movement.
Main points:
-Food, I think I have eaten everything and more, I am excited to eat new things, cook, eat what I want whenever I want, spend time with my loved ones and if there is food around I enjoy it and move on. Remember there is nothing bad about eating more, and having fun around food, it is normal to share a good time by eating together. The Most important thing to remember is that there is not such a thing as TOO much food.
-Body, oh... if you guys saw me 4 months ago you wouldn't have recognized me now probably, but I did get that a few times when I was deep in my ed, people who saw me after a long time couldn't believe how sick I was. I call it sick now but before it was a compliment, now I know that they were shocked and worried. Clothes...yeah need a whole new wardrobe, good thing that my style is pretty baggy and oversized so the big tees saved me, my beautiful fluffy tummy made me go up 4 sizes in pants. My weight gain has been the hardest part, but also to be honest the best part. I can finally able to sit comfortably and my whole body doesn't ache when I sleep.
-Life, really has become so much more enjoyable, I am planning events, trips etc. and not meals. I have picked up my hobbies again and I am excited to find new things I am passionate about. I am in my 3rd year of uni, and I can finally study freely with my friends in a real way and learn, read books, watch movies, and listen to music. I am going to parties, dancing, having fun getting drunk and then eating a huge KEBAB at 4am with my bffs. These last few months have been the best months in my uni life, unfortunately, I spent the rest deep in ed. My mind has cleared up, not foggy anymore so I have so much more place to daydream and fantasize. I am taking myself on dates to the places I wanted to enjoy, including cafes, bakeries, and restaurants.
-Mindset, I can't say I am comfortable in my body to be honest but I am comfortable in my mind. I relive this is all about the mindset, I try to tell myself that I am doing this for my future, that weird process will end and I will be free. Sometimes I need to tell myself that everything will be okay, and see the bigger picture. To be honest I have stopped thinking that much about it, most days I just don't give a f*ck and just live. I spent my days watching WIEIAD, reading about ed, recovery, watching fitness videos etc. but now they have become the most boring thing ever. I don't have a place for them in my life, mind, and time.
-Reactions,yep I have gotten a few comments like: "Wow you are going so fast", my answer. okay why should I take it slow, this is my life and my way, no point in wasting it on taking it slow. "Are you going to start going to the gym again, nothing bad I am just surprised that you have changed that fast", this hit hard to be honest, cried my eyes out, and answered this is my life, my body and I am the only one deciding what I want to do with it. I just don't want to workout, too tired for that, if I am ready to start movement again I want to do it for fun. OFC I have days where I still care about other people's opinion but at the end of the day I am the only one who is spending with myself 24/7 and my opinion is the only one that matters, that is why my priority is health and happiness, so for all the people out there judging give it a break and mind your own business.
My side effects of recovery: Extreme hunger still going strong but I really can see the end of it, fluffy body(doubled my weight), water retention, sleepiness the first 3 months(now I have so much energy), HAPPINESS
Not gonna lie I go a little teary-eyed writing this, I am really glad I am doing this.
This is not the end of the recovery process, I will probably have a lot of bad days, beacuse life tends to be a bumpy ride, but I do believe all of this is worth it.
I hope this post can motivate you to start fighting or keep going, take your time, do it the way you want to do it, don't care about other people and what they have to say about it all. Be patient with the process and yourself. Go with the flow when it comes to EH.
Thank you for reading this scribble

My brother (we’re both in our 20’s) has a roughly 4 month old portidoodle. She’s hyper and crazy, especially compared to our other dogs (mine, a shitzu and my sister’s, a shitzu/bichon/Maltese mix). My puppy is 2 weeks older than my brother’s, and he’s doing great with crate/potty training. He can be loose around the house (with supervision) for around 2 hours between potty breaks, and he’s absolutely fantastic in his crate (until he needs to potty most of the time). However, I take my brother’s dog out and within 30 minutes she’s peed or pooped in the floor. She sleeps throughout the night with no accidents, though. This happens alone, with our other dogs, doesn’t matter. She also pees in her bed while my pup hasn’t had an accident in a little while. I’ll note: she has wicked separation anxiety (my pup does too but he’s consolable at least and quiets down after a bit). My brother’s dog will bark for half an hour straight or more if she even thinks someone is in a different room. ESPECIALLY if the dogs are within eye sight. I try not to let the puppies interact too much because they get a little too rough when they’re together. My pup and the older dog are fine together, and the older dog constantly corrects my brother’s dog when she’s overhyped or barking in his face.
My brother works full time and I’m off for the summer so I wanna help how I can, and I usually watch the dogs during the day. I’ve tried exercise, playing, using soothing music, nothing works. I have health issues that makes it hard for me to play with her constantly because she’s so high energy. She’s got a comfortable crate, appropriate size, and I’ve covered one end of it so she feels safe. I’ve recommended professional training but my brother is hesitant. Any tips? My brother is at the end of his rope and I’m doing all I know how to do.

The first indication that the Gnome God arrived was my Emperor's growing tension.
There was no fear in his eyes, only rage and hatred. He gripped his spear tightly as a short Humanoid being walked down our street toward us.
"Well, look who finally found his way out of a measly cave." He spoke with a smile.
He was perhaps slightly taller than us, but not much, dressed in bright colors, a sword at his hip, and the weirdest fucking moustache/beard combination I'd ever seen. Beneath his veneer of joyful exuberance was curiosity, and just below that, the faintest smoldering of anger.
"I have been found and freed." My Emperor spoke plainly. "And now Humans mimic your holy ritual in the hopes that you will eradicate us, just like you did during the Dawn Age."
"Yes, one of my finer pranks." Garl remarked, stroking his beard. "Even to this day, people talk about it."
"You know as well as I do, what happened that day." My Emperor's voice low with threat. "You know well what caused this conflict in the first place. Ever pointlessly causing pain and humiliation for a laugh, no imagined crime is so slight that the punishment is not disproportionate in your gaze."
"What are your intentions, Stingtail?" Garl asked. "Is it your desire to see my people utterly wiped out?"
"There would be no greater justice!" My Emperor hissed. "Yet it is by vow with my Imperator and Bahamut, that in spite of my better judgment, I offer a compromise."
"A compromise?" Garl asked, I wasn't sure if his shock was real or feigned, "From you?"
"We both know our worshipers will never stop hating one another." My Emperor stated. "We know the violence will not end any time soon, yet I am willing to grant you leniency for your crime, so long as you do not harm a single scale upon these people, nor seek retaliation against me for simply trying to rebuild what you destroyed eons ago."
Garl seemed to think about it, then smiled. "If you kneel." He said. "That's your favored tactic, making your enemies kneel? I will allow your spawn to rebuild, but you must kneel and pledge your undying service to me, as my personal fool."
I stood up, snarling. "This is not compromise!" I snapped. "This is far more accommodation than you have ever gotten before, or will ever get, and you demand servitude!?"
"I believe the term your kind uses is 'slave'." He replied. "What would be better than subjecting him to the same conditions he forced my people under?"
"YOUR PEOPLE WERE THE ONES WHO STRUCK FIRST!" My Emperor roared, his eyes wide, pupils narrow with rage, spittle flying from his maw. "IT WAS THEY WHO REFUSED TO LISTEN AS WE ATTEMPTED PEACE! IT WAS THEY WHO BROUGHT THIS UPON THEMSELVES! HOW DARE YOU DEMAND THIS OF ME, WHO HAS LANGUISHED IN SOLITUDE FOR GENERATIONS, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CANNOT ABIDE MY EXISTENCE!"
"Then it seems you need another time out." Garl said.
"That, I believe, is enough." We all looked as a group of Kobolds appeared from thin air.
"Ah, Bahamut, you debase yourself before your enemy?" Garl asked in a teasing tone.
"Do not forget, Garl, that we raged at your 'prank'. Clearly, we should have punished you, rather than choosing leniency. Perhaps so many tragedies could have been avoided, if we had simply held you to task?"
"The Justicemaker himself, siding with an evil deity?" Garl asked. "Against a good one such as I?"
With an explosion of wing and light, Bahamut towered above us, his cloudy blue eyes wide with anger. 'Justice chooses the innocent, Garl. I learned my lesson that day the hard way, and I have striven to never lapse in my duty. Watch your tone, Glittergold. I swear by the World Shaper, who granted the only justice on that day, I will denounce you, and declare you an enemy of righteous justice, until you have paid back the blood of every Kobold you have slain- including the ones who fell in the ages since- if you so much as harm so much as a single scale on these innocent victims of my nemesis."
Garl sighed, "It seems even Gods can't take a joke these days." He remarked.
I swallowed my anger and approached Garl, who watched me with curiosity. "You are approaching me?" He asked. "You, a lowly mortal Kobold, approach me?"
I held my hand out. "I swallow my hatred of you, for the sake of peace." I said. He glanced at my hand. "What, you've never heard of a handshake? Are you afraid that I could possibly do something to you?"
"You couldn't so much as scratch me." He replied, grasping my hand. I tightened my grip as the joy buzzer in my palm vibrated harmlessly in his hand. He tried pulling away, confused, the slightest bit of concern in his eyes, before I finally let go.
"What did you do?" He asked, his voice taking on a hint of threat.
"We call it a joy buzzer." I said, holding my hand out and pressing the button. "It's a joke, a prank."
He stared at me with such incomprehension, then at the joy buzzer, then back at me. "You... pulled a prank... on me." He said.
Bahamut chuckled. "Such a simple misdirection, yet all the more humorous, as you- of all Gods- fell for it."
Garl nodded. "I will admit, I could have never anticipated that." He remarked. "Very well, I will rescind my prior condition, I will leave you and your-" His eyes lingered on me. "-people alone for time being, though I must ask to have this 'joy buzzer' of yours."
I took it off my hand and put it in his palm, just hard enough to make it buzz again, startling him.
"I believe the phrase, when it comes to pranks and jokes, is confuse, don't abuse." I said. "May there never be such a gross abuse again."
"Indeed." Garl replied. He looked at the joy buzzer in his hand and gave the merest of smirks, and then he turned around and walked away.
I let out a heavy sigh of relief. "I'll be honest, I was expecting for him to get pissed and pop me like a grape." I looked back at the others, Bahamut had taken Kobold form again. "Thank you, for stepping in when you did."
"It is the very least I could do, to make reparations for that day." Bahamut spoke. He looked at My Emperor and approached him. He knelt and said, "I do not pledge fealty or loyalty, this is not a debasement, but one more reparation."
"Stand." My Emperor spoke. He hopped off the stage as Bahamut did, and after a moment of hesitation, he too knelt. "Understand, I do this only because you have earned my respect, Justicemaker." He stood up. "My people have a long way to go, in order to have the peace they richly deserve. I swear, as long as you aid me in that goal, I will do what is necessary to maintain that peace."
"That is all I need." Bahamut replied. "I hereby grant your faithful permission to perform acts of righteousness in my name, if you ever deign to allow them to worship me."
"Only if you allow your faithful to invoke my name, should they ever need to pay evil unto evil."
"I do not believe that will be necessary." Bahamut replied. "Yet I shall allow this."
They shook hands.
I half-expected Bahamut to just leave at that moment, but he didn't. "Now." He said. "Tiamat has hidden herself from me, and I can not seem to find a trace of her anywhere, save the stench of her evil machinations. Until Garl has left, I will remain here for a time, to ensure he does not have any plans or tricks for you."
"That's just an excuse to stick around as a Kobold for a while." My Emperor teased.
"If the danger has passed, why not take this time to celebrate?" I asked. "We have a week's worth of food stored, why not have a feast?"
My Emperor nodded. "An excellent idea. Bring our subjects up, I want them singing our praises by afternoon."
I went down with Galax, we didn't have to do much to get everyone going up. Food was brought out, ovens were fired up, and food was laid out for everyone to eat, drink, and generally just enjoy themselves for once.
Everyone regarded Rakdo with some hesitation at first, but when he said he was on our side, that trepidation faded and they welcomed him to the Warren.
A handful of people brought out instruments, either kept safe from little over a year and a half ago, or they had made by hand. We still didn't have Bards, and they were most assuredly Awoken, but they played what music they knew with passing skill, making use of the stage so that our sound-amplifying magic items could allow them to be heard by everyone.
Of course, I took a moment to introduce our guests of honor, Bahamut and his seven companions. Though the latter were stern and not at all talkative, they were respectful to anyone who treated their God with respect.
Being guests of honor, they had a place at the table set for myself, my Emperor, and my Council.
Since there hadn't been any formal planning behind this, anyone who thought they could entertain everyone had a chance on the stage. A cadre of teenagers got on the stage, and being former theater kids back when school was something to worry about, they put on performances of Shakespearean plays.
It was in no way, shape, or form professional, but everyone seemed to enjoy it.
"It's been a long time since I've seen you smile like that, brother." I looked at Tallyn. "I'm glad to see the world hasn't completely crushed your spirit."
"I'll crush the world before I let it crush me." I replied.
After the plays, a lone Kobold got on the stage, nervous as all hell, holding a leather-bound book. "I- uh, I would like to read a story I've written." He said. "If it would please our Imperator."
"You can't do any worse than I would!" I called out. "Impress me with your best effort, the content of the story can only enhance it!"
He seemed to take my words to heart, as he began reading a story, of Kobolds and Dragons fighting against an insurmountable foe. Everyone listened, enraptured by the tale he wove. By the time he finished, hours had passed, and he received a standing ovation, his Awakening only intensified the crowd's cheers, we all knew what he was, there was no doubt about it.
"As the first Bard of this Empire, come, have a seat at our table." I spoke. "And please, tell us your name!"
"Hakku, Imperator." He said, bowing.
"Come, Hakku, this honor is well-earned!"
Hakku sat with us, he was shy and soft-spoken. "I took to writing because I'm not good at much else." He said. "I've written ever since I could hold a pen, I've actually amassed enough of a collection of them that I'm not even a quarter of the way done with them."
"Hakku, would you be willing to take on the title of Councilor, to guide our entertainers, our storytellers, to give them the infrastructure they need to succeed?"
"Y-yes, Imperator." He said.
"I look forward to your contributions, Councilor."
Many others tried their hand on the stage, some were absolutely terrible, but everyone was a good sport about it.
As the feast dwindled to food scraps and bones, our Emperor stood and addressed the people.
"There will be no need to retrieve that which was brought down below." He spoke. "This is my domain, and I say now is the time for the symbol of our Empire to rise."
We all hurried to the outside of the town, far enough away that it was small in the distance. We watched as our Emperor channeled his divine power, raising up the entire town along with several strata of earth, before placing it nearby us and making it sink until it was flush with the ground. Then, his hands raised to the skies, Darastrixthurhi rose up from the ground, stone and dirt cascading off of it until what remained was a massive fortress structure.
Walls of stone rose, adjoining the fortress with the town.
Once the signal was given, we walked in, our homes untouched, undamaged, and looming over us was the fortress.
"Behold." Our Emperor spoke with such pride and reverence. "The Fortress-City of Darastrixthurhi, Thousands of empty homes awaiting our habitation, entire sections devoted and dedicated to the comfort and safety of our talented Warren." He looked at us. "The town we stand in is as much a part of it, is as much a vital aspect of our city. You are free to choose where you live, space is plentiful."
"Ah, but your Temple dwarfs mine." Bahamut spoke with a tone of humor.
"It is a fortress fit for Dragons." Our Emperor spoke. "Not a Temple to my glory. Nonetheless, I welcome you to my city as an honored guest, for you have done what no other would in these long years."
"I am honored." Bahamut replied. "May this day foretell many years of peace to come."
With the feast over, the Warren of course went in and explored the Fortress City more closely, marveling at the architecture, admiring the stonework. At the pinnacle of the city was the entrance from the underground. I gazed upon the throne and looked at my Emperor.
"Go." He said.
I ascended the stairs and sat down upon the throne. Even being made of stone, it was comfortable, with a pleasant little nook for my tail. My Emperor stood beside me, his hand on my shoulder. "Unburdened by endless stone, behold the lands beyond." He spoke. I could see for miles, all of the way to the enemy encampment.
"This city is going to need a lot of infrastructure." I remarked. I stood up and walked down the stairs, looking upon the staggered sections of the Fortress City, seeing the potential it had. I could see people gathering in a large empty space below, several people pointed up at me, I waved back.
"Councilors, gather!" I commanded. Within a handful of minutes, they had managed to get up here.
"You needed us, Imperator?" Tudru asked.
"I want you to look down, tell me what you see."
"A defensible position." Tudru spoke, as he looked down.
"A magnificent work of art." Hakku breathed.
"Dead stone, lifeless." Merti noted sadly.
"Nothing that's worth my time and effort." Tatla remarked.
"Long streets and narrow alleyways." Nakk observed.
"A logistical nightmare." Rekka sighed.
"A shrine to self, as delivered by our Emperor." Galax remarked dryly.
"A home, built for us." Tallyn stated hopefully.
"A mighty fortress that serves as the Empire's jewel." Kalith spoke.
"A very long drop." Goss muttered as he backed away.
"A giant fuckin' rock." Kuvli helpfully opined.
"Endless potential."
Everyone was startled when Fox stepped out of the shadows, he darted forward, catching Hakku as he almost fell. He pulled him back up and gave a formal bow. "Asgorath grant you steady footing." The Monk spoke. He turned his head slightly. "And less OSHA violations."
We couldn't help but laugh.
"Who is Osha?" Our Emperor asked. "Have I been unaware of someone who acts with more authority than they are allowed?"
"It's an acronym that stands for the Occupational Safety and Health Administration." I quickly explained. "Their whole thing is making sure workers have the proper safety precautions, and that companies adhere to those standards."
I looked at my Council. "Fox here is correct; endless potential." I said, "My Council, I want you all to gather a large team who can survey the Fortress City. I want empty spaces filled with enough dirt to produce food, I want a sustainable source of water, if at all possible. Infrastructure, trams throughout the main thoroughfares so that the people can get to where they need to go. I give you all free rein to bring Darastrixthurhi into its full glory. I am trusting each and every one of you with this."
They all saluted.
"Dismissed. Take it easy for the rest of the night, for tomorrow, your duty begins in earnest."
They all left.
"I believe we should heed such a command ourselves." My Emperor spoke. "Follow me."
I followed him into a series of hallways, at the far end of which led to a large bedroom. "I intended for this room to be the one in which I kept a harem of women, that I ensure my lineage remained." He looked at me. "Undress, my Imperator."
I did so, and he clipped the lead to my collar before gently, yet insistently pulling me toward a stone bed. He casually decorated it with soft blankets and sheets, and with a single push of one hand, he laid me upon the bed.
"Ruuk Stingtail." He spoke. "This is your reward for your fearless service to me, for daring to stare down a God, and to upstage him." He leaned closer and kissed me, my heart thundered as it wasn't simply a quick peck on the lips.
It was longer, deeper, and I loved every second of it.
​
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24 year old female. No existing health issues. Got normal blood work back 4 months ago… eat well and get regular exercise. Drink in moderation in social settings & no smoking/vaping.
So I’m not really too sure what actually happened… I went to bed last night & woke up feeling super anxious in the middle of the night. I associated that with having a cocktail before bed. Was probably dehydrated on top of my normal anxiety. I’ve been in a pretty anxious state lately… that I’ve just been obsessing over and convincing myself something is wrong with me. So all of the sudden I “woke up” so I think.. & the entire right side of my face was hot and numb and tingly along with my right arm. I don’t think my eyes were ever open I was just kind of aware of what was happening. It scared the shit out of me so much that I couldn’t think correctly & I felt like I wanted to say something and couldn’t. Like I couldn’t speak or think coherently. Then all of the sudden I snapped out of it and was actually awake and conscience and didn’t feel like that anymore and had no lingering effect of it. It freaked me out pretty badly. I don’t know if I was dreaming or what but I snapped out of it and it was almost like it never happened. I have a deathly fear of having a stroke or any kind of neurological issue that could affect my motor skills and speech. Could this have been a dream or sleep paralysis? I feel totally fine today just a little shaken up. I also never had like a crazy headache or any face drooping or any of the other stereotypical stroke symptoms.

Hey everyone, long but maybe a helpful post incoming.
I wanted to share my experience in depth with getting ill very suddenly in October of 2022 (8 months in) so this will be a bit of a longer post. I’m posting this to see if there are some similarities out there, maybe if anyone had some advice for me or even just share some progress, treatments or approaches.
Also for anyone reading that’s having a hard time with symptoms & long covid, I am keeping positive and will keep this post positive too. I strongly believe we will find the mechanisms at work; there is already so much research, testing etc. going on so please try keep your head up there’s a lot of people in this and a lot are getting better too. I am 28, male, active and healthy before this and had little to no health problems prior.
What happened to me at the beginning:
Went on a weekend away with friends at a quiet Airbnb near a beach from Friday through to Monday. Stayed at the airbnb all weekend and had some alcoholic drinks, using the hot tub and just hanging out.
I woke up on Monday morning and immediately started to projectile vomit and could not keep even a sip of watefood down. Vomiting at all is a very rare occurrence for me even after drinking so this was immediately a red flag. After about 3 or 4 hours this eventually subsided during the trip home.
After feeling not the best (flu-like symptoms with upset stomach, hot & cold, sore lower back) for 2 days after arriving home; on Wednesday I felt a dissociation/spaced out feeling come on suddenly while working at home & had what I felt was similar to a panic attack (heart racing, cold hands and feet, lightheaded) and after lying down from this I was slammed with the worst headache I've ever had. And this is where all my symptoms started. I can’t remember exactly when I tested (maybe 2 or 3 antigen tests at home) for covid during this time but it may have been a few days or maybe even a week after this but it was a negative test so for a long time I did not suspect covid. I was leaning more towards a bacterial or virus from the hot tub initially.
What followed:
Below are the symptoms I’ve experienced since then, I also contracted covid at the end of February so I’m unsure if I had Covid twice, or a post viral syndrome from another virus or bacteria that was exacerbated by Covid. EBV, Cytomeglo and further virus testing has come back negative and reading symptoms I feel that there is a lot of similarity with long-covid symptoms mentioned by everyone here.
​

• Headache - almost constant (mild to severe) (severe sinus & tension type headaches, ice pick headaches & pain at back of head as well as front and temples).
• Neck & Shoulder Pain - almost always (sharp or dull)
• Back Pain - often - mostly lower with stomach pain & sometimes middle & upper back
• Fatigue - occasionally - this seems to be on the milder side, can get through days fine.
• Sinus Swelling - often - CT scan showing persistent sinusitis - post nasal drip often follows. this particularly sucks and is very uncomfortable.
• Brain Fog - often, slightly less - comes with sinus swelling at times.
• Heart Palpitations - less often than before, sometimes onset - throbbing feeling in head and all over - multiple ECGs & 24hr Holter Monitor showed nothing.
• IBS - often for the first few months, now more rarely - irregular stool (size, frequency), undigested, sore abdomen strikes suddenly and can cause intense abdominal pain and diarrhea.
• General feeling of Malaise - often
• Tinnitus - often - sharp noise occasionally, low level ringing often.
• Dry/allergic/irritated eyes - occasionally
• Hacking up phlegm - often, onset
• Dermographism - occasionally - only real visible symptom that I’m having
• Twitching - more often recently
• Chest tightness - occasionally - breathlessness, short of breath or dry cough
• Mouth Ulcers & Eye Styes - every month or so, much more common during illness

Newer Symptoms (After contracting Covid):

• Anxiety & Depression - occasionally - related to health condition, have had good mental health until this. very up and down in progression. feel waves of sadness throughout the day or week.
• Pain in testicles - sore for a period of time, has come back a bit - Epididymis on left testicle side swollen, scrotum tightening occasionally, testing showed nothing. This is quite limiting for exercise & running
• Paresthesia - rare - feeling of sunburned skin (stomach, forearms, top of hands, nose and back of neck) - itchy sensations around body. This has subsided since it happened first.
• Hands turning red occasionally - especially when walking.
• Pain in joints, spine, hands - often - arthritis like feeling

My experience:
I wanted to add how things have been for me personally. I feel like I’ve been through my own hell so far. In the first few months I was doing fine as I assumed it would get better in a few weeks, maybe next month, definitely before Christmas etc. while managing symptoms and hanging on to the words of my favourite google search “does post viral syndrome go away” which always brought me the answer I wanted “it is temporary”. During February my mother was diagnosed with cancer and as an only child I think this is where my mental health began to suffer. In March when my testicular pain began I seen another doctor who mentioned central sensitization and my mind and ability to cope plummeted. I was scared out of my mind and I began to wonder if I would survive and had relegated myself to permanent disability for life. I would get a lot of awful feelings out of nowhere, an impending doom sense that was pretty engulfing. Thankfully I have an incredible partner who has been with me every step of the way and she has kept me from some very dark places, I am extremely lucky to have her. I worked for the initial 6 months after getting sick (work from home job) and told my work straight up that I needed support and to role back my responsibilities. Unfortunately as my mental health declined around March I had to step away from work (thankfully insured for now) but was unable to properly look at my work screen, do complex tasks or manage my work without feeling sluggish and needed to step away every 10 or 15 minutes.
The medical side:
I have seen a number of doctors, specialists including 2 A&E visits. Listed below are who I’ve seen and what I’ve done in chronological order. Thankfully have a close family friend who specializes in virology and took my case on to dive into deeper. After tons of testing for what feels like every variation of medical issue, the only thing that has shown up from all the testing done was a very recent positive test for Anti-CCP-AKS which points to polyarthritis as a symptom not a diagnosis. I have a gamma camera scheduled & a colonoscopy too for the summer. In terms of medication I did about 2 months on Amitriptyline, it probably helped some symptoms but I gained a lot of weight so stopped, I have found it hard overall to tell what helps and what doesn’t. One day I’ll try something I think “oh this helps” and then a few days later I’ll suffer symptoms while trying it out. I have tried my best to avoid taking medication and stick to supplements only.
Tests:

• Multiple Bloods - Initially B cells found, Anti-CCP-AKS (Positive at a low level)
• Urine - Normal
• Physical - Normal
• CT - Normal
• Chest X-ray - Normal
• Ultrasound of Abdomen, Scrotum, Thyroid, Bladder - Normal
• MRI of Brain - Normal

Diagnosis per doctor

• Food Poisoning (Walk-in GP)
• Acute Onset Virus (Urgent Care Clinic)
• Tension Headaches (Urgent Care Clinic)
• Bacterial Sinusitis (Walk-in GP)
• Viral Sinusitis (Walk-in GP)
• Post Viral Syndrome (Urgent Care Clinic)

Specialists diagnoses

• Post Viral IBS - (Gastroenterologist)
• Nothing to offer (Mentioned Central Sensitization is controversial) - (Neurologist)
• (Suspected) Central Sensitization (Internal Medicine - Referred)
• Post Viral Syndrome from unspecified Virus (Internal Medicine - Family Doctor who is following up)

Here’s what I’ve been supplementing & doing to support.

• High water consumption
• Vitamin B, D
• Omega 3 (3000mg daily)
• Magnesium (600mg daily)
• Probiotics (Align 1 capsule per day)
• Coconut water, multi-vitamin & electrolytes

Overall I feel a bit better but having plenty of attack/relapses/waves or whatever we want to call them. I find the biggest help is sleeping or resting as much as possible, hot showers and eating right. I’m happy to answer questions and see what compares. I would love some more advice on supplementation as I know its basic at the moment.

24 year old female. No existing health issues. Got normal blood work back 4 months ago… eat well and get regular exercise. Drink in moderation in social settings & no smoking/vaping.
So I’m not really too sure what actually happened… I went to bed last night & woke up feeling super anxious in the middle of the night. I associated that with having a cocktail before bed. Was probably dehydrated on top of my normal anxiety. I’ve been in a pretty anxious state lately… that I’ve just been obsessing over and convincing myself something is wrong with me. So all of the sudden I “woke up” so I think.. & the entire right side of my face was hot and numb and tingly along with my right arm. I don’t think my eyes were ever open I was just kind of aware of what was happening. It scared the shit out of me so much that I couldn’t think correctly & I felt like I wanted to say something and couldn’t. Like I couldn’t speak or think coherently. Then all of the sudden I snapped out of it and was actually awake and conscience and didn’t feel like that anymore and had no lingering effect of it. It freaked me out pretty badly. I don’t know if I was dreaming or what but I snapped out of it and it was almost like it never happened. I have a deathly fear of having a stroke or any kind of neurological issue that could affect my motor skills and speech. Could this have been a dream or sleep paralysis? I feel totally fine today just a little shaken up.

24 year old female. No existing health issues. Got normal blood work back 4 months ago… eat well and get regular exercise. Drink in moderation in social settings & no smoking/vaping.
So I’m not really too sure what actually happened… I went to bed last night & woke up feeling super anxious in the middle of the night. I associated that with having a cocktail before bed. Was probably dehydrated on top of my normal anxiety. I’ve been in a pretty anxious state lately… that I’ve just been obsessing over and convincing myself something is wrong with me. So all of the sudden I “woke up” so I think.. & the entire right side of my face was hot and numb and tingly along with my right arm. I don’t think my eyes were ever open I was just kind of aware of what was happening. It scared the shit out of me so much that I couldn’t think correctly & I felt like I wanted to say something and couldn’t. Like I couldn’t speak or think coherently. Then all of the sudden I snapped out of it and was actually awake and conscience and didn’t feel like that anymore and had no lingering effect of it. It freaked me out pretty badly. I don’t know if I was dreaming or what but I snapped out of it and it was almost like it never happened. I have a deathly fear of having a stroke or any kind of neurological issue that could affect my motor skills and speech. Could this have been a dream or sleep paralysis? I feel totally fine today just a little shaken up.

Hello, fellow Redditors!
Let me take you back in time. Circa 2013, I was a sixteen-year-old struggling to see through an unwelcome veil – brain fog. A five-month encounter with anti-psychotic medication (Zyprexa, if anyone's curious) had seemingly pilfered my cognitive acuity, leaving me feeling dull, lethargic, and utterly apathetic. It was as though my brain had sustained significant damage, my social and emotional intelligence had dipped, and the sharp, lively intellect I'd cherished in my childhood was just a distant memory. But I was resolute – I knew I had to nurse my brain back to health.
Sure, my initial attempts at self-help were amateurish, even laughable. I stumbled into the world of brain games like Lumosity, fumbled through reading barely 10 pages a month, and dipped my toes into the vast ocean of exercise – but without rigor or routine. Nutrition was another arena where I lacked finesse; I consumed a smorgasbord of processed foods, mistakenly thinking I was nourishing my body. Nutella-slathered sandwiches, frozen pizzas, fried nut bars – yep, the whole nine yards. Unbeknownst to me, I was essentially feeding my brain fog with this diet laden with inflammation-inducing processed foods. The first four years were a slow burn, with little to no improvement.
Yet, time and perseverance have a way of forging wisdom, don't they? The following years saw me slowly but surely climbing the ladder towards better health. My exercise regimen escalated to include rigorous high-intensity cardio – a brilliant tactic to enhance cerebral blood flow and oxygenate the body. My diet started to gradually shift towards wholesome foods, though processed items (albeit organic) still had a cameo.
I turned to a plethora of nootropics and supplements, but found rare solace. However, an unexpected ally emerged in the form of a humble multivitamin. I dialed down screen time progressively, albeit still spent a fair chunk of my day consuming YouTube content.
Then came the golden age – my 21st to 25th years. I had painstakingly crafted an advanced brain training system, religiously consumed potent antioxidants like curcumin and chlorella (godsend supplements!), and transitioned to an almost exclusively whole foods diet. That's when the clouds began to part. My brain started to whirr back into action – sharper, more energized, and more focused. I felt the shackles of depression loosening. I ventured into the realm of dopamine detox, and I must say, it was a game-changer, practically eradicating my brain fog.
It's important to note that throughout this odyssey, I battled chronic insomnia, which left me perpetually sleep-deprived. But despite this obstacle, I was able to witness a substantial cognitive revival by embracing these new practices and habits. My personal MVPs were undoubtedly the switch to a whole foods diet and regular antioxidant intake. But, don't underestimate the power of robust brain training and regular exercise either. The dopamine detox worked wonders in optimizing my motivation levels too.
So, here I am, baring my cognitive journey – hoping it might light up the path for someone else grappling with brain fog. Keep your chins up, friends. It's a long road, but there is light at the end of it. We can conquer this fog one step at a time!

*disclaimer*In efforts to not ‘out’ anyone in the group I will try to be as objective as possible.
This is a story of how our creepy Felon DM destroyed his own group.
On a D&D Facebook group our DM posted that he was looking to start a campaign the group would meet every other week and will take place in the Wild West, and must be 21+ years old there will be drinking and smoking, we live in a state where recreational marijuana is legal. After the group was formed he sent us some history/ lore of his setting. This setting was to mirror the events/cultures and technologies of the Wild West in America, with 5e races being used to represent real life/ historical cultures. For example: elves and goliaths were native americans, minotaurs and orcs were slaves forced to work on railroads, etc you get the picture, a very ‘racial’ setting. This could be seen as problematic and there were POC in the group. This could be seen as offensive, but all this knowledge was known before our first session so we all joined the group willingly.
Session 0 we met at a local game store to create characters and go over backgrounds. After everyone introduced themselves, the DM mentioned he is a veteran DM as well as a fluent German speaker, a professional photographer and a general contractor, also he runs a buisness, what can’t this guy do? Additionally he runs multiple groups every other week, he said he has tons of material and was contracted by Games Workshop to produce a rpg setting in the wild west and that we were fortunate enough to be his test subjects. The session 0 group consisted of: Fighter (male), Monk(male), Cleric(female), Paladin(male), Bloodhunter (male), Druid(female). With Fighter and Druid being new players. The whole group got along well and a majority are still friends to this day.
Before the next session Monk dropped from the group saying he was going through a divorce and couldn't commit to the group. Then the DM found 2 new players, enter Necromancer(male) and Rogue(male).
Session 1 the group was tasked with gathering information on disappearing citizens in a large city. It was believed that a crime lord was kidnapping people for experiments. Lets call the crime lord JB. The group visited an underground fighting ring where JB was rumored to be. Cleric paid JB’s personal champion a visit to try and uncover additional information on the kidnappings. The champion was aggressively hitting on cleric and after cleric failed a couple charisma saving throws DM said “you have sex with him…and by the way he rocks your world”. A major red flag, a dm should never take away player agency and even worse make them sleep with an npc. Then the party escaped the fighting ring, knocking out a couple guards on the way and even stuffing one into a bag of holding.
Next session the DM brought in a new player, Enter Barbarian (female) 18 years old. I bring this up because the DM's original post said you must be 21+. Barbarian is a new player and was looking to join a party on the facebook group. The DM reached out to her and they met over coffee to go over her character. The DM is almost 50 years old and this seemed a little weird. Don’t get me wrong Barbarian was a great addition to the group and an excellent Roleplayer. It's just weird to me that the DM went against his own rules to seek out a minor to join the group. Also in this session the DM had the party visit a Brothel to acquire an elixir that could wipe the memory of the guard we had stuffed in the bag of holding. The DM role played some rather sexual experiences with the group, Barbarian included. He also had NPC’s hit on barbarian, for example: a gnome shopkeeper who was obsessed with her goliath size and boobs, he gave her a discount on goods if she would cradle him like a baby close to her breasts. This was her first session ever….
Also important to mention again that we had 3 brand new players to D&D, they often needed help with their characters or reiteration of the rules when it came down to combat. Almost every time we tried helping a player, the DM would lecture “Guys quit Metagaming” and we’d argue that we are just helping the newbies, Dm would still insist “Yeah but it's still meta gaming”. Oftentimes we were found helping our players either when the DM was away or busy with another player.
A few sessions pass and the group finds the kidnapped individuals in a warehouse, they escape with them through the sewers while being pursued by JB and his men. The group was tasked with bringing these kidnapped npc’s to a refugee camp outside of the city. Paladin had to miss a few sessions for personal reasons. Not to worry, the DM still used Paladin's character in the next session without Paladin’s consent of course.
Next session JB sent a group of trained mercenaries after the group. The DM had Paladin (player is not present) stay back and keep a look out for the npc group following them. He had a sending stone to alert the party if he saw anything suspicious. Eventually the mercenary group captured Paladin. With a gun to Paladin's head the mercenaries confronted the group of PC’s and offered Paladins life in exchange for the kidnapped npc’s. The party initiated the combat in an attempt to save Paladin. As a reaction the Mercenary leader put an eldritch blast powered bullet in the back of Paladin's head. Paladin was dead.
A note about Paladin. Paladin was a beloved character of the group. He was your typical lawful innocent good boy that did everything by the book, he was roleplayed very well with a hilarious character voice. Paladin will be missed.
The pc’s barely survived this encounter. They made it to camp and tried to revive Paladin but Necromancer took Paladin's soul while everyone was asleep (a story for another time, Necromancer deserves his own story). Once Paladins Player returned to the sessions he was made aware of his character's death and rerolled a ranger. Also Blood Hunter's wife joined the party, enter Bard.
The group then wanted to take the paladin's body to his father who was a leader of the church. On the way the party encounters a carnival. A majority of our campaign was spent at this damn carnival. The party checks out the carnival and physically can't escape because of demon magic? The carnival was run by demons and did not let people leave, they used captured people for sacrifices or turned them into carnies/attractions if they were deemed worthy. Most of the party became charmed by the demons and had to do what the DM said. Funny thing is that Rogue made a comment about taking away player agency when failing charisma saves in a prior session, now the party is being magically charmed left and right. Druid escapes to tell Paladin's Dad about what happened and to get help. Blood hunter murders a ton of demons escaping from captivity, which was a really cool scene. This leads us to the end of this campaign.
Throughout the campaign, Necromancer has been collecting bodies and souls to raise an army of the undead. Necromancer makes a deal with the demons and the demons give him powers. All of this is happening on the side between dm and necromancer away from the table so no one besides dm and necromancer knows what's going on. Barbarian failed to make some important saving throws and was under the demon's control. Then Necromancer raises an undead army and takes the brain washed barbarian to fight the rest of the party PVP. At this point a majority of the group just wanted everything to end and additionally Rogue was arguing with the DM more often over very simple rules that the DM was obviously wrong about. For Example DM argued “you can’t move and attack on your turn you have to pick one or the other” to which Rogue argued. “You can, it's in the 5e rules it's a part of the action economy”.
Final session Rogue goes down in some PVP and is making death saves and asks barbarian to “just fucking kill me”. To which DM shouts “THIS IS MY FUCKING GAME AND I SAY WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES”. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, everything just seemed awkward and out of place. Necromancer died for like the 4th time and was still probably not dead. Paladin's dad showed up to fight demons and then the cleric saved everyone with holy light and teleported them out of the demon carnival.
At one point Cleric backs out of the group due to personal reasons. And to be fair the DM ignored her constantly, she commuted a long way to play in this group and rarely got to play.The session before she left was a 5 hour combat session, she only got 5 minutes of actual game pla.Then more people started leaving the group,some had valid excuses, others just left without saying anything. Apart from the incidents that I mentioned there were other issues with the DM, many of which were just blatant lies. Examples include:

• Fighter was a brand new player and sometimes his turns would take longer than others because he was trying to figure out what to do, as most new players do. The DM would get irritated and lecture the whole group “Everyone should know their characters by now, there's no excuse to take this long on your turn.” And then we’d get yelled at if we tried to help.
• One session German “cheers” was made by Cleric who spent some time in Germany. The DM had no idea what the word ‘Prost” meant, which is just a German cheer for drinking. I don't think the DM spoke German.
• Next At Druid's birthday celebration He offered to take “professional pictures” of her as a birthday gift. This is kind of creepy if you ask me, funny to mention Druid looks almost identical to Dm’s ex wife.
• DM is not a licensed professional photographer, nor is he a licensed contractor nor is he a owner of a business..at least anymore that is. Turns out DM did own a non profit that serviced the homeless community. However, DM was arrested with 8 felony charges for stealing $349,000.00 from his non-profit the year earlier. This wasn't known to the group until a player google searched dm’s name. His mug shot was the first thing that popped up along with a TV news segment about him.
• Also I highly doubt Games Workshop was working with the DM on a setting that mostly took place in a carnival. Also GamesWorkshop wouldn’t use 5e as means of playing the setting they have their own game system.
• The Campaign was very….. Not western. We were in a metropolis or a carnival most of the time. The DM did minimal role playing so the world never felt immersed, unless it was to hit on our female players, then dm role played.
• Physically picking up Druid to prove some kind of point about weight?
• Farting! Omg the farting he would constantly rip in front of people at the table and wouldn’t leave to use the restroom.
• People were constantly ignored or their turns just out right skipped. I get there were like 9 people including the DM and that is a lot to manage, however the way the DM talked himself up this seemed like this should be a walk in the park.

After leaving the wild west d&d group some of the players started a new group and are still playing to this day and a lot of close friendships were made.
A tip to players and DMs everywhere: establish boundaries at session 0, don’t take away the players freedom, don’t kill your PC’s players when they’re away, also if something seems weird, google search your player or dm if their mug shot immediately pops up that might not be a good sign.
TLDR; Controlling DM lies about himself to his players, turns out to be a creep and a felon.

I have a male golden retriever who is approximately 6 months of age and unaltered. Approximate bodyweight guestimate 45-50 lbs (Was 35lbs one month ago at vet's visit just over a month ago, having gained 10lbs in a single month from from 25lbs two months ago). His papers say he's pure bred, however his massive size and build may call that into question (That's not what I'm worried about right now, I mention it in case it's applicable to his health situation), but he's certainly mostly a golden retriever at minimum. He is vaccinated for rabies and distemper.
Beginning approximately 10 days ago, despite being kennel trained and house trained, the dog started having nighttime fecal incontinence. He messed his kennel a few times (There's also an odor to it that is significantly worse than his normal feces odor), and I've spent other nights being woken up five times a night as he desperately needs to go outside and races to the back of the yard to squat a couple times with runny results (Generally- he basically gets back in some foliage making it difficult to observe in the middle of the night, so I won't say 100% of the time).
He also has started dragging his rear end on the floor at times. It doesn't seem like he's wiping anything off, so I am assuming it itches.
Things seem less problematical during the day, but I'm with him all day and it's not unusual for him to constantly want to go outside during the day (Though, interestingly, there seems like there is, relative to night time, less feces during the day- when he needs to go out it's often to greet people and animals living near our fence line, or to urinate.). He gets a daily walk and only drops feces for me to pick up perhaps 1 in 2 or 1 in 3 walks.
I should note that our schedule is a bit different than the sun. What I call day is our awake time and night is our sleep time. It's a regular, but odd, schedule. If this matters, I can get into the specifics, but it is consistent, and part of why I start with eight week old puppies is the ability to inculcate this schedule on a dog so we're on the same page- a process that appears to have preliminarily worked with this one and definitely worked with the last one.
I've tried generic Imodium sporadically to mixed results. It seemed to work more towards the beginning of the issues than it has more recently.
On Sunday, I gave him a chewable Praziquantel & Pyrantel Pamoate based 7-day dewormer (In case he had a tapeworm or a hookworm). I also administered his monthly generic Frontline Plus (Which he would have gotten anyway, but helps nail down the potential flea to tapeworm vector, though a tapeworm was just a guess on my part. My previous dog had one once.). He received his monthly Heartguard Plus or generic equivalent (As he is growing, sometimes it comes down to what we can purchase one of at a time until he hits a more steady weight class, but it's always ivectormicin/pyrantel based) in the middle of May and is due again in the middle of June).
His most recent vet visit just over a month ago included a negative fecal lab (No known symptoms at that time routine test).
I know people aren't going to love this sentence, but I really can not afford to bring my dog in for another vet visit. He's obviously had several (routine) ones very early in life after purchasing him at eight weeks, and all of his other puppy expenses, and my last dog's death expenses. I did contact his vet about this situation, having been a client for over a decade and always paid at the time of service, and asked if I could have him seen and pay in July or work out some other sort of a payment plan. I was told no. I would not credit qualify for CareCredit at the moment.
So, this dog is not seeing a vet right now. However, there's clearly a problem that needs to be addressed and I am doing what I can.
I tried a de-wormer. What else can I throw at him? Someone recommended pumpkin as a folk remedy. I can try buying him a can or two, but it sounds like a placebo for humans anxious about their dogs more than a serious treatment (Feel free to let me know if I should be trying it or not).
Is there are better affordable uses for my very limited funds? Or something I can do with stuff on hand?
His current diet consists of Purina Puppy Chow. He would eat unlimited amounts of anything thrown at him, so I sometimes have trouble calibrating his diet, especially with his size obviously being in flux as a growing puppy. His high was 3 meals totaling 4 1/2 cups of kibble a day. His low was 3 cups of kibble a day. I dropped him down from his high during the current "crisis" (?) to about or just under 4 cups a day, with breakfast as the largest of his three meals and dinner his smallest (For obvious reasons). He also periodically get a little extra kibble for various things, but at very low levels (Typically, I use Milkbone treats [or generic equivalent], but not in the last couple weeks. This is the first dog who I've been able to replace a dog biscuit with kibble for doing tasks who just goes "Great! Food!" without much comment.).
He still runs, jumps, bites, exercises, enjoys interacting with people, playing, biting, etc..
There may be a small element of "milking it" on his part (Does he really need to go out a zillion times a night? Or could he hold it to three if he wasn't bored and not at the center of attention? Etc.), but I also believe a real problem does exist or I wouldn't have spent an hour per incident cleaning up toxic fecal residue in his kennel several times this week.

I've never officially been diagnosed with dysautonomia itself, to be up front, but have always had numerous symptoms that align. I have been diagnosed with CFS/ME, fibromyalgia, and chronic migraines (though the migraines are under better control lately so I can likely lose the "chronic" part). I suspect I have undiagnosed POTS and possibly MCAS, but haven't been able to seek specific testing for those.
This past year I've been feeling significantly worse than my version of normal. I was first diagnosed with CFS/ME two decades ago when I was in highschool, and not long after was forced to temporarily drop out because I was physically unable to go. I'm no stranger to feeling like shit and have long been very aware of what my body is doing, just not the "why." I have essentially all of the CFS/ME and fibromyalgia symptoms, plus others my doctor couldn't figure out, like permanent spots in my vision after a bad flu in 2017 and phantom smells (wet cardboard anyone?). There are probably countless times when I should have seen a doctor or gone to the ER, but I'm very used to being dismissed as a hypochondriac, and I often can't tell when something is serious enough to go because I literally always feel like shit anyway.
My doctor retired in early 2022, and there is bit of a medical crisis where I live, so I no longer have a doctor and can't find one. I'm lucky if I can get 5 minutes over the phone with a walk in clinic to renew my prescriptions. I'm going to try the walk in soon, but I feel like I need some preparation to make use of the 5 minutes they give me, and am hoping I can get some additional insight from this subreddit. What do I need to say to get my point across, that something is wrong and I need to be taken seriously?
What has changed this last year or so:

• I'm significantly more intolerant of heat. Heat was always a problem but it's gotten so much worse, I get light headed and feel like I'm on the brink of fainting if I physically exert myself when it's too warm (and by "warm" I mean over 20°C), I usually experience a lot of muscle weakness/trembling and my heart rate goes up (I also already generally live with tachycardia but in these instances it's easily 30-50 bpm higher than my normal when I'm active).
  
• I've always been a sweaty person but this has also gotten worse. It used to be mainly just my armpits with some swass. Now I can easily have sweat run down my back, legs, and neck. I drink extra water with electrolytes and sometimes eat a bit of extra salt to make up for it.
  
• It's hard to describe but I get this horrible "stuck" feeling in my throat sometimes, usually triggered by crying, clearing my throat, or "snorting" through my nose when I don't have a tissue handy to blow my nose. It's on the left front side of my neck and it feels like something is broken and jams the wrong way. When it happens I can't swallow at all and have to find a sink or cup to spit into. Usually it feels like I'm getting tasered in the face/side of my head if I touch my neck, it's unbelievably painful when this happens. Most of the time it lasts up to 15 minutes before it goes away, but there have been times it was nearly an hour long. It has been happening more often this last year or so. I tried seeing a walk in doctor about this and without even touching my neck he said it's just a muscle spasm and nothing to worry about. Not being able to swallow for an hour and feeling like I'm being tasered is nothing to worry about, really?
  

What's new:

• I get a lot of pins and needles sensations in my feet and sometimes hands. Sometimes I get a buzzing feeling up my legs, which is different from the pins and needles, but I can't think of how to describe it other than "buzzing." I've had other bizarre sensations in the past which my doctor worried could be attributed to MS (in combination to the other symptoms that were explained away by CFS/ME), so she sent me for an MRI. It was normal (in 2019).
  
• I've been losing my hair. I strongly suspect this is because I switched to a hormonal IUD for a couple of years rather than my usual low dose combination pill. I had it removed last fall and I think my hair is starting to grow back but it's so hard to tell. Worth mentioning either way.
  
• My feet easily start to go purple. It usually happens when I haven't been moving a lot (like when I'm working at my desk) but it can also happen when I've been standing or walking for awhile. It goes away if I'm horizontal.
  
• I get weird mottling on my skin. It's most noticeable in my hands, where it shows up on my palms only. My palms go beet red with white spots. Sometimes it happens on my legs or arms as well, but usually it looks more like little red dots and not as mottled, and more like a temporary sun burn. Sometimes my wrists and knees go red and look a bit inflamed for no apparent reason, and usually half an hour later it's gone.
  
• My skin also easily goes red from leaning against something, from clothing etc. Or if I rest my arms on my knees while sitting, that sort of thing. This has always been the case but it seems to take much less to get these red blotches now than it did a couple years ago. Example, I took my backpack and jacket off in class and someone asked me if my arms were sunburned, because my arms went all red just from pulling the bag and jacket off.
  
• I have nights where I cannot sleep at all, at least once or twice a month. My sleep has always been a problem for me and so I take amitriptyline to help. It helps me stay asleep, but if I can't fall asleep, I'll be wide awake. Usually when this happens I get extremely itchy. It's most noticeable on my scalp but I also get itchy on my feet, neck, stomach, back.. pretty much everywhere. In the past I usually could still get some sleep on nights like this, but now it seems like if I don't fall asleep within an hour of going to bed, I can guarantee I won't be getting any amount of sleep until the next night.
  
• This may be totally unrelated, but I've become allergic to half of my skincare and makeup. I've been carefully testing out products and trying to figure out what ingredient is the cause, but I just can't pinpoint it. When it started last year (around the time everything else started to act up), the skin around my eyes became swollen, very very red, the skin thickened and would peel off in sheets, it would heal only to come back a day later. I tried speaking to an doctor online (I called nearly 30 walk in clinics within an hour or two of their opening time and no one was taking more patients or were no longer walk ins, so my last resort was online). The doctor looked at the pictures I sent and said it looked "a little irritated" and asked what I wanted to be done about it. If anyone I knew showed me their face looking like that I would go "holy shit, what the fuck happened?" They were useless, I gave up.
  
• I seem to be losing some amount of sensitivity in my fingertips, mainly to heat. I didn't notice this at all until some chemistry labs last year, so I'm not sure when it started. The instructor said not to let something get more than "just a little warm" while mixing and to check with our fingers. He came around to check mine and yanked his hand away like he touched something red hot, but to me it just felt warm. Similar situation, we used lightbulbs in another lab. The bulbs needed to be removed from their sockets so I undid one and set it aside. My partner went to move it and dropped it because it was too hot to touch.
  
• Obviously I seem to be experiencing small fiber neuropathy, which on its own isn't too surprising in fibromyalgia patients. But with everything creeping in at the same time, I'm starting to become a bit more concerned.
  

I don't think I have caught covid, I've always been careful about wearing snug N95 masks in public and have no social life. It's possible I was sick with covid at some point and just didn't notice because I already have so many flu-like symptoms day to day. Also, I broke out in serious hives on my arm and chest from my Pfizer vaccines (first two doses) and the rashes lasted a week or two. The third one was Moderna and I had no reaction that time. I've never reacted to other vaccines in the past so I can't guess as to why these were problematic aside from my immune system not reacting normally?
My (retired) doctor would send me for bloodtests once a year just to make sure everything was looking okay, so I have no real reason to believe I'm deficient in anything like iron or B12, my diet hasn't changed much since the last tests and I still take supplements (multi, B, D, C, K2, magnesium). My A1C has also always been very good so diabetes was never a concern. Thyroid results have always been normal. My doctor usually included testing immunoglobulins which were always within normal ranges, but I'm not sure if me having to take allergy meds daily would influence some of those results. My only results that were of consistently of concern was the CRP, which is a bit non specific, but it was normal in 2021, from my last set of bloodtests.
Any suggestions on what I can try to request when I manage to see a doctor? How do I word things so they understand I'm not just whining about being a little uncomfortable? I'm just so fucking tired. I'm tired and sick of feeling like I constantly have the flu and not being heard. Appreciate any help you guys can offer.

Hey reddit. Throwaway for reasons. Anyway, I've got this problem I'm dealing with right now. And boy howdy is it a doozy. We've been together for 13 years, and have a large family. Most of these years have been good and happy together. However, we have been recently running into more and more problems.
This mainly started when we first got together back in 2010. She was just leaving an abusive marriage and wasn't looking for love really. I was a kid and thought I knew exactly what I wanted. Which was a family, and a wife. The three major points that got emphasized to me were that 1. She is going to manage the money, as her ex never let her have money. 2. Her family is a matriarchy and she will be leading the household. 3. All kids current and future will be home schooled. A few of those points I pushed back on, like the home schooling, however I quickly conceded the point for the fact that it was either concede or have a relationship.
Fast forward nine and a half years. We have been struggling ever since we got together. I have moved from job to job. I have worked in a variety of fields but at the time was working at a rehab center. I believe it was june or so when I finally told her I was done. Done with all the garbage that she was dishing out, done with the entire lack of any support I got at all (I was making the majority of the funds for the home, her parents were helping since they live with us) and just done with this marriage over all. Through many pleading nights and crying fits, I decided to stay.
Which more or less brings us to today. The problems I'm requesting help with started again a few months ago. I've spent most of a year working two jobs to keep us afloat. That being said, I like to relax and spend time with the kids when I am home. If its a night where I am at my secondary job I like to have a little more adult playtime with my wife. Which seems only natural, right?
Apparently I'm wrong for this. Well, not wrong so to speak, but wrong for wanting it or trying to act on it at certain times. Due to some sort of illness/medical condition she has, there is intermittent bleeding whenever she does something strenuous. This is in addition to normal monthly times. I don't expect something every night, but its 2 months on average between encounters.
While this is going on, the majority of her day is spent on the couch watching her favorite tv shows and crafting for different markets she sells items at. The amount she has been spending on those crafts has increased as I have made better and better money.
Speaking of that, as my pay has increased, her spending habits have increased. More and more items come in for the house and for the "business." But there is little to none to ensure there is gas in our vehicles so I can make it to work, or nearly any for recreation (like movies, visiting the local arcade or even just getting a bite to eat). I don't expect to keep any of my money as I know the house and kids need it. I recently found out that we currently owe three back payments on our house and if they are not paid by the end of the month, the company will start foreclosure proceedings.
Along with all this has been more and more other issues. Like the fact I was told that the home I was moving into would stay clean and well kept. It currently is neither of those things. I barely have time in the mornings when I get up to get a lunch together some days since I'm having to scrounge to find something. Not because of a lack of food, but because half the time the food doesn't get put away or into a portion container for me, which is another thing I was told I'd never have to worry about.
While all this is going on, my mental state has taken a nosedive and I'm about to say I'm done again. There has been a woman at one of my jobs that has been showing some considerable flirtatious behavior (or at least I'm reading it that way). I'm not one for cheating and so I won't go there.
But this ring doesn't feel like it fits me anymore. Like it has no meaning. Like everything I lived for and tried to do is worthless.
Reddit, what should I do? Do I leave? Do I try to fix things again? Do I just put my head down and keep marching forward? I'm at a loss here. I will say, that should we split up, this relationship has soured my attitude towards marriage and will probably never do it again.
TLDR: My (M31) wife (F37) is behaving in none of the ways she always said she would. House is a mess, work lunches unmade, bills unpaid. Possibility of losing our home. Marriage is on the rocks due to stress, mental health and the overall fact of not working together (for lack of a better term). Help

Interests:

• I have a very specific taste in music, but it can be boiled down to indie/alt rock and those who skilfully playing acoustic guitar (I play a little bit myself).
• I love reading, but do so on and off because life is busy. At the moment I'm talking my sweet time with 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami.
• I love exercising but I love teaching even more, which is why I have a side job as a martial arts instructor, best of both worlds.
• I'm doing my specialization in educational psychology (fitting, I know).
• I like watching movies and series like most people. I don't really have preferences when it comes to this and I'm open for recommendations. I rewatch B99 from time to time and I'm really looking forward to the new season of black mirror.

I know making friends can be hard and keeping up with conversations that seem to be leading nowhere becomes more of a task, so if we don't hit it off that's ok. However, I will reciprocate effort and will make time for you. I can very much listen and ask relevant follow up questions whenever you need to vent, but I'm also open and I'm curious to learn about different points of view.
I would prefer if you're 20+, but other than that anyone is welcome. I like reading long messages so don't hold back, and you don't have to think too hard about what you want to say, I'd be happy knowing you're doing what feels natural. If it matters to you, I'm in Europe. I don't have a problem with timezones as long as we both understand life can get busy and getting sleep is important. Shall we give it a go?
P.S. I hope juggling is not a part of your friendship requirements because I tried recently and I can't do it for the life of me.

“Mom,
First off, I don’t owe you an explanation; you know exactly why I’ve chosen not to have contact with you the past couple of months. But I owe it to myself to speak my truth and get this off my chest.
I know you think that I should either apologize, or try and mend our relationship. With all due respect, I don’t think that’s the best idea right now, and here’s why. You can’t (and/or won’t) respect and accept me for you I am. You have shown me time and time again (recently and during my adolescence) that you aren’t interested in treating me with basic human respect if I’m not exactly who you want me to be. I’ve had to repress my beliefs and feelings for too long. I am an adult now and I have the right to live my truth, regardless of whether you like it or not. I am a queer, pro-choice, feminist atheist. And I’ve known all of this to be true for about ten years, but I’ve never felt safe telling you. But my true self is not something I should have to hide, because it is not shameful. I mind my own business when your boyfriend says some overtly racist shit, so I’m not sure why you can’t do the same when I have an opinion that is different from yours. I will not apologize for being myself, someone who thinks everyone deserves basic human respect and rights, regardless of race, gender expression, sexual orientation, etc. And I’m not quite sure why you think that’s wrong.
It’s really wild to me that you always think I’m “disrespecting you” by having beliefs and opinions that differ from yours. Whenever I say, think, or do something that you don’t like, you view it as a personal attack on you, and that needs to stop. There is no way for us to have a healthy relationship when you think everything I do is about you. You get so mad at me about shit that literally doesn’t affect you. You said some really nasty and hateful shit to your own daughter over a fucking piercing. You send Karen to harass me over text, because of… A GRAM OF METAL in my OWN FUCKING FACE? I’m not sure why you thought there wouldn’t be any negative repercussions for that. Why would I want to interact with and have a relationship with someone who attacks me for getting a piercing on my own body? You want to vomit every time you look at me? Then how do you NOT expect me to do you the favor of making sure you don’t have to look at me anymore? Your words can hurt just as much as your actions, and they have consequences.
I was having full-blown panic attacks every time my phone buzzed, because you and Karen were literally harassing me. Like, I was throwing up and crying in the bathroom at work from the texts you both were sending me, and that’s NOT okay. I’m not going to allow you or your “friend” to speak to me like that. And I know that you’re going to think or say that I’m just “being too sensitive” but what you did was fucked up and it HURT ME. That’s on YOU, not me. I’m genuinely confused as to why you thought I was just going to roll over and accept that kind of treatment. Probably because you have raised me NOT to stand up for myself and have boundaries, because you didn’t ALLOW me that in my relationship with you. And when you teach a child that, they learn that it’s okay for others to take advantage of them. And they learn to blame themselves for it. So I’m afraid to make mistakes, say no, or communicate my needs, because you made me believe that those things are forms of “disrespect.” Do you have any idea what kind of situation that puts me in regarding romantic and sexual relationships? It’s not good, it’s dangerous for me, and every day I am struggling to unlearn that, and RELEARN that my feelings and needs ARE valid, that I AM allowed to set boundaries and say no.
After setting boundaries with you and standing up for myself, I feel a little bit better about myself. I am happier and have less anxiety after creating a space between you and I. And that’s not wrong, that’s not “disrespect.” It’s just me doing what’s best for me, and I won’t apologize for that. I’m tired of all the people-pleasing and trying not to “rock the boat.” I’m tired of feeling like I’m responsible for making YOU happy. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells when I interact with you, because I never know if you’re drunk, or what I’m going to say that sets you off and gives you a reason to yell at me. So sometimes it’s just better for me not to interact, to protect my mental and emotional health. Because I am important and I need to take care of myself.
And yeah, it fucking SUCKS to have to distance myself from my own mother, but it’s better for me than constantly feeling anxious and hurt. I deserve to be treated with basic respect, and that fact is NOT negated by the fact that I’m your daughter. I am not less than you. I am an adult whether you like it or not, and I’m allowed to have my own opinions and make my own life choices. You don’t have to like it, but I do expect you to accept and respect that. So please, give me the space and respect I need in order to grow. And keep Karen out of my fucking ass, because she has no right to speak to me the way she has, and frankly needs to mind her own business and quit texting me to try and bully me into feeling guilty.
Stop trying to change me to fit your mold. You can’t shame me into being someone else, so why not just accept me for who I am?“
Not sure if I’ll ever send it to her. If I do, it’ll be mailed from my father’s address instead of my own. I’m so conflicted because I have so much to say but I don’t feel like I need to explain myself, and I don’t want to open the door for more abuse. I absolutely won’t text or call her because I don’t want to open a conversation with her. Would it even be worth it to send? If it escalates things, I guess it will give me more evidence so I can get a cease-contact order. I don’t know what to do.

More of a vent, but I have nobody to talk too. 22/F, adopted by my grandparents because both of my biological parents have substance abuse issues. My mom had me too young, at 19, married my dad because she got pregnant with me and not because she loved him. And it obviously wasn’t a healthy relationship. My mom did not want to raise kids that young, and her substance abuse issues + mental health issues led to her neglecting me and my sister, which eventually resulted in both of us being legally removed and adopted by opposite sides of the family. My older sister went to my moms parents, and I went to my dad’s parents.
Flash forward to now and my dad is 52 years old, and just had to have hip surgery two weeks ago. He doesn’t have a vehicle, or a job, and his gf is likely a meth addict. The only way he is able to pay his bills is by bumming off everyone else. Sometimes, he doesn’t even pay his bills and will go months without electricity. He has borrowed thousands from my grandma, who kept enabling his bad habits because he kept promising he’d change and she’d fall for it every time, and to this day has not, and never will, pay her back. He has been relying on me for car rides to the doctor. In fact yesterday he fell, and today I had to stop everything I was doing to take him to the ER because he doesn’t have anyone else who is willing or capable.
I am still living with my grandmothegrandpa, who are both getting old themselves. They rely on me for a lot of things as well, especially my grandmother, as we suspect she is developing Alzheimer’s/dementia as time passes. At the very least she is senile, and it hurts to some degree because when I was little, I remember a strong and smart woman who did everything in her power to make sure I was happy and spoiled, even though we didn’t have the funds for her to spoil me like she did.
Flash forward to now though, she’s a very brittle old lady, she’s diabetic as well - every morning my grandpa has to force feed her something like orange juice because her sugar drops too low in her sleep. Literally keeping her off deaths doorstep every morning. And he sits there and brags and uses it against her, because they are not happily married. I grew up listening to my grandpa complain about how much he hates being married to her, in fact a week ago he told me one of these days I’m going to come home and find him dead because he killed himself because that’s how much he hates his life.
My 50 year old uncle is living with us too, he also does not have a car. Or a place to rent. He has substance abuse issues too, and my grandpa refuses to give him rides anywhere. He has to go to court though sometimes, and he has court ordered drug classes he has to attend every week, as well as community service on the weekends. He is clean, but those things are keeping him out of prison, and he helps out around the house as well as does nice things for me and my grandma, so I let him use my car.
And then there’s my mom - who is currently raising her fourth and, hopefully, final child. She does not work, just stays home, does all cleaning/cooking/childcare while her boyfriend goes to work to pay rent. They are a happy couple though, and her bf is a good guy. But she still, at the end of the day, only ever calls me when she needs me to give her a ride to the grocery store, but also frames it as her wanting to be part of my life. Their car breaks down a lot because they can only afford old used cars
Neither my mom, nor dad, were ever a big part of my life. I was completely pushed to the side by everyone. And I’m not exaggerating, I was never a priority for them. And I’m glad my little sisters get to grow up with our mom in their lives - but I didn’t get that and so it hurts to be around them. Which sucks because my youngest sister is obsessed with the idea she has big sisters, and ALWAYS wants to be around me. Which makes me sad for her too.
I feel like I’m in hell though. I’m trying to put myself through college, trying to make sure I don’t end up like them. And not doing a very good job because I’m re-learning how to function right now after being diagnosed with ADHD way back in October. I am tired of taking care of everyone else. But cutting them off would mean leaving them to the mercy of the rest of the world, and I couldn’t live with myself if my dad died because he wasn’t able to get to the hospital. It would also mean being completely alone because I don’t have lots of friends as an adult, likely due to being depressed. I am so stuck. It’s like a giant slap in the face. If I did not have my car - they would likely never even talk to me.

So I still have untreated severe sleep apnea. But waiting for deviated septum surgery and ear surgery before cpap is an option. Cpap gives me bad sinus heaches and ear issues and getting air in trough my nose is impossible. Because of risk seizures (tonic clinic) during the night I can't use a ff mask. But surgery will happen and hopefully it'll fix the cpap issue. ENT is positive about that.
So I've never been physically tired. And there's days I even feel very energised. Yet that is impossible because I don't sleep well at all.
I don't drink coffee and I feel rushed and on edge a lot. There's days I crash and my body aches very bad. I was diagnosed with fybromyalgia. But that was before sleep apnea diagnosis. PT says it's prob my muscles being unable to relax during the night. Hopefully cpap will fix fybro. I always doubted fybro. Cause you need to have the extreme fatigue most of the time, I was told. And I don't feel like that.
I just don't understand that with severe sleep apnea I still don't fall asleep during the day and that I'm still able to have good days where I just feel energised.
I was told that the more tired I am, the more energised I feel. That my body runs on adrenaline. But I don't feel that's the case. I don't work because health issues, so I can relax and lay low on any given time. So that might help me a lot in my situation. I can lie down whenever I want, and take a break whenever I want.
Just wondering if you have the opposite of feeling fatigued as well. The more messed up your sleep is, the more adhd you get.

I have a group of people targeting me and it involves those websites when you Google your phone number. The ones with the string of names and a .ru or something else domain.
I worked with someone who wanted me gone. They are involved in drugs, prostitution, identity theft, laundering, and other things. Here's a little back story.
I lived in Arizona up until 23, where I left to go live in North Carolina. When I came back, things were fine at first. I got a job from my friend at a pizza place and people there were friendly. After a while I started noticing strange things at work and where I lived. I lived with a group of people I knew since I was young, so I trusted them.
It started when my roommates were up til 3am tapping on pipes and stomping on the floor. I didn't think much of it but it kept happening. My FOCUS was caught. I didn't bother asking them, because it seemed trivial since I slept there in a loft for cheap. It started to get worse.
I noticed my boss was bringing up topics relevant only to me and my closest friends, the people I lived with. He started to have my focus too. I asked my best friend if he told him anything, and he denied it. Nobody else could have known these things and told my boss about them except my best friend. It became unsettling how he strung together my life experiences throughout the day. Bringing up seizures and broken ankles and other things from my childhood.
I noticed one of my roommates, who I didn't know almost at all, was starting to speak louder and say things relevant to me then say "I'm going to bury this guy".
At one point, my boss started getting more people involved and speaking in a weird way so that I would pay more attention to their words. Phrasing things strangely and swapping words around. I started to become really paranoid when conversations would carry over. I would be at work talking with my boss, then get an Uber home, and the Uber driver would pick up the conversation where me and my boss left off. So on the day he brought up seizures (I asked him if he had experience with them, he said no) then the Uber driver brought them up immediately as I got in the car. It was as if there was a constant communication happening about me. They all started to carry over between home, work, and the commute inbetween. I never felt like I was having a new conversation. It all started to blend and it felt like my life was being picked apart.
I remember trying to learn how they were speaking so I could communicate. I realize now that what they were doing was setting up a dialogue that only they understood, so I would think I'm talking like everyone else but they're picking apart my words. At one point I didn't feel safe and tried to get my boss to leave me alone by getting police involved. What happened the next day was a line drawn in front of the shop door, two holes (insinuating shots) in the window next door and police tape covering an area with nothing to actually cover. The police did eventually look around, but it didn't amount to anything. I've tried communicating this to as many people I know. Only two who live out of state told me that it sounds like I needed to leave and find safety. Everyone else who I knew brushed it off.
Fast forward, I confronted my friends and my boss about all this. They denied everything. They kept saying they have no idea what I'm talking about. They have no clue what I mean. It got worse when they started moving my things around. They took my electronics or water bottles and would place them in strange spots. I'd leave a room, come back and something would be different. Near one of the peaks, I accused my best friend exactly of what he was doing and he said "if I'm doing that, I'm sorry". I'm not sure what to make of that.
I can't remember why, but I decided to Google my phone number. I saw a bunch of .ru and .tr sites with various names. I could click on those sites and it would take me to a long list of numbers and names. After I spoke to the police, I no longer had access to these sites. They became redirects to phonesear.ch websites. I suspect there is a whitelist or blacklist to access these sites. I've seen the sites brought up before and people suspect criminal activity, but I believe it's more than that.
People started to insinuate that I'd be stabbed, shot, drugged, or hurt in some way. I became a paranoid mess. I had to leave that job and I moved in with family. It didn't get any better. The way my family was talking was like how everyone at work and at my other place was talking. There were moments though I could break through and get them to speak coherently. Other people I didn't know would have normal dialogue too, so I know it wasn't just me mishearing everyone.
The taps and stomps I mentioned earlier that my roommates were doing, I now believe were intentional. I noticed that there were a lot of bird calls nearby in the area. Separate and rhythmic from actual bird sounds. There was a pattern to them. My focus was drawn again. I started to notice more of a cricket or chirping noise at night. I thought maybe some bugs or something had gotten in the house so I would ignore it.
One night I heard something that froze me. I heard "do you think he noticed" in a whisper. It was dead quiet outside and everyone was asleep. I wasn't able to sleep and kept listening for more. I was pacing around the kitchen trying to figure out where it came from. I heard that chirping noise again and because I couldn't sleep, decided to investigate.
I walked next to an outlet in the wall, and realized the sound was coming from that direction. I couldn't see anything, a bug or otherwise in the cabinets or behind anything. Going outside and the noise stopped. I knew something was inside somewhere.
This happened multiple nights in a row, me looking for something making this noise. As I was looking one night, I heard another whisper "what's he looking for". I responded, I can't remember what I said, but the chirping stopped and I heard ringing in my ears. I heard a faint "did he hear us".
I couldn't understand what was happening, my body went into some kind of shock and I got cold. I went to lay down and calm myself. I didn't believe I had heard that. After a few moments with myself to assess my mental health, I decided to let it go for the night. The chirps started again, softer but faster. A higher pitch frequency.
One night, I remember looking up at my grandparents ceiling and seeing a thin line with a small strip just behind the surface. It looked like a wire. I thought it was strange, but I kept it in the back of my head. Eventually the chirping stops, or I thought it did. What the chirping did was pull my focus further in. I started to notice stranger things. One night I saw someone walking through our backyard. Another night, there were people out front behind cars making those same bird calls from earlier. It was obvious something was being communicated to me. I heard someone audibly outside say "come here". I quickly looked out the window and saw their feet underneath and behind a truck. One of the neighbors said "he knows you're there."
Paranoia had turned into self defense and investigation when I realized I was being targeted and nobody was trying to help. I tried reporting this to the FBI, however it isn't easy to get someone out here. I also can't trust local law enforcement.
The people after me have become more blatant with their communication and I'm going to share with you how. The tapping, the strange way they formed sentences, the chirps, the frequency of them increasing, was all a way for them to pull my focus for the next part.
That wire I thought I saw in the ceiling, did in fact turn out to be a wire. When the chirping eventually got so fast and high pitched, I noticed it was coming from more than one location. There were almost hot spots for this high pitch ringing.
I'm having trouble explaining this next part, but I'm doing my best. If you have a high enough frequency pitch, then it leaves a ringing in your ears. Now, if you couple that with someone's speech, then that ringing will carry their voice throughout the ring and further into your ears.
How I know that what is in the ceiling is a wire, is because one night I heard the frequency coming from that exact spot. I stabbed in the ceiling and the high pitch noise stopped. I didn't feel tense anymore. However, the ringing in my ears said "what did he just do?" I decided to respond, again not remembering what I said being too freaked out, but they replied "oh he gets it"
There have been wires planted in my grandparents home. People are using sound frequencies in the town I live in to communicate and/or kill. I know my family is part of it, they constantly wear noise cancelling ear pieces and speak like the people who are after me. They are either part of this and want me gone or are being used. I am unsure which. I know they're being spoken to tho. I can hear the same voices from the wire coming from their ear pieces. I've tried going up in the attic, but the floor boards are removed and any attempt to get up there is stopped by my family who is always home.
I've tried going late at night, but I hear someone say my mom's name and that she needs to get her son, then she comes out to scold me. I've found at least 12 hot spots, with some of them being inside things like light fixtures that I can't get to without going up to the attic. The ones in the ceiling, I've stabbed and they stopped emitting any pitch.
I've tried communicating because I know they hear me and they know I can hear them. They've said that they're hear to kill, they've said they were hear to pay me, they said it's all a joke and none of it is real, and they said they're rich assholes who are playing God (their words)
I've done a few things. I've tried tracking what frequency they're using. It just keeps getting higher tho. I've recorded with my shotgun mic to try and pickup any audio interference, I can vaguely make out what they're saying in some of the recordings. I baited it one night by recording, saying I was going to make a sandwich and then hearing in the recording them talking about it. Right now I have scattered evidence, don't know who to get it to or where to even focus. All of the audio high pitch feels like both an attack and distraction from their business, since the audio is much harder to explain.
I know this is bigger than just where I worked because at another job I had, they were all focusing on me, talking in the same strange way, and I caught how they were using that business. It was a thrift shop, and I would see the same product donated and sold constantly. It was a money laundering spot. What's worse is I believe I saw them scouting for a young woman. I saw an older man taking someone's photo with one of my coworkers intentionally stopping behind her in order to mark her.
At the very beginning of the thread I mentioned those strange sites when you Google your phone number. These are a collection of personal info about who you are. The numbers and names correlate to your patterns throughout the day. It's how they keep track of you and move you around. Ever since I've been targeted, I've been googling everyday because even tho I can't get on the site, the search results still show and change. Right now I have a bunch of "untitled" which means they've discovered some new behavior pattern I'm doing (which is intentional on my end to track).
What I need right now is a suggestion on who I can get out here, who I can get this info to, because this feels much larger than I initially thought. I'm not entirely sure where to go from here. It's not exactly easy explaining all this to someone over the phone or online, I feel like I need someone physically here to see what I mean. I believe I am the target of some kind of sonic warfare because of what I saw. They know I know because I confided in my friends, who I didn't know were part of it.