For a quick summary of our friendship. When I was getting to know them I caught feelings and later found out they were dating someone. I kept my feelings to myself for about a year. I eventually told them because I didn’t want to ghost them. I also told them that I needed some space.
I feel that I’ve been doing a good job at keeping my distance. But she sometimes still interacts in a way. I get it liking pictures and stories isn’t a big deal for a lot of people. But she has checked my LinkedIn multiple times.
I know it isn’t an accident because she has done it multiple times in a single day and has viewed my profile though search. I just don’t get why. I really thought after confessing my feelings that she would stop fully interacting with my stuff. Especially because she is in a relationship. I just don’t get their motivation for interacting this way. I really expected the opposite to happen.
TLDR I confessed my feelings for a friend while they are in a relationship. Told them I needed some space. But I feel they aren’t doing the same. Such as checking my profiles. I don’t understand their motivation since I asked for some space and they are in a relationship.

Chest: 10 sets per week Back: 16 sets per week Tris: 12 sets per week Bicep: 8 sets per week Front delt: 4 sets per week Side delt: 6 sets per week Rear delt : 6 sets per week

First of all, I absolutely agree that Trauma (and i think we can all see that Aussies behaviour is due to childhood trauma) is an explanation and not an excuse, and Sam would have every right to leave over Aussies awful communication skills and avoidant behaviour, and she does not deserve to be treated that way. But the repeated mention of "Aussie is 42, how can they still act that way!!" or "they should just grow up!!" really does not sit right with me.
Trauma does not give a shit about what age you are. If they never had the tools to correctly deal with it - how are they supposed to just "get over it"? The phrase of "once you're an adult, it is your responsibility to heal" is also maddening to me - you cannot heal trauma in isolation/by yourself, it just does not work that way. And yes, that's why therapy is definitely the way to go, but I don't think people realize how hard access to (good) therapy can be. For example....beginning alone from mentioning Aussies age, I can imagine that therapy was a lot more stigmatized in their youth than it is right now. Then the question of costs - or availability; i don't live in the US , which i imagine to be even more difficult, but insurance covered therapy is still not easy to come by here since there's is such a shortage of therapists. Adding on the fact that for trauma, you might want to find a therapist that is specialized in that - which is also pretty hard to find since the majority of available therapy is usually in the area of cognitive behavioural therapy. Which can be helpful, but in cases of more extended childhood trauma as I think it is the case with Aussie, it often times does not do much and can at times even make it worse. Apart from that, there are also a lot of either shitty therapists out there, or therapists who you are not compatible with, or therapists who aren't sensitive when it comes to gender and sexuality....which just goes to say: If you make it across all these hurdles of inner stigma against therapy, and finally find a place that is covered by insurance and deals with your type of trauma - it could still just not work out. Which is not supposed to turn anyone away from therapy, but- TL;DR: I just want to underline the fact that it is really not that easy to get the support you need to heal.
And it just takes SO much time. I personally have C-PTSD and it is REALLY fucking hard to rewire your brain when you've grown up in an abusive environment during exactly those crucial years where your brain and personality etc. is formed. (Not to diagnose Aussie...but also maybe to diagnose them a liiiittle bit since especially the scene at the bar seemed like such a clear emotional flashback to their childhood).
Again, this is not an excuse for their behaviour, I also found it frustrating just by watching it on TV...but i just wish people would realize that it is not (always) the personal fault of the person for not being able to heal properly, and hold a tiny bit more empathy towards that.

I'm living in a different country than my family. Probably also because I wanted distance from my nMom. I'm in low contact with her.
I have a younger sibling who has moved out from my parents home about 1.5 years ago and was usually the golden child in our family dynamic. My sibling still lives in the vicinity of my parents and is still roped into a lot of family events and also family drama. I'm only realising now the impact my nMom must have had on them and want to support where I can.
I can see how they still seek the fault within their own behaviour, which is not surprising. Living so close to the source of it all doesn't allow for reviewing the relationship. I can see how this self-critical overthinking is impacting other relationships they are having and I want to help them break the pattern.
Any tips for support are welcome especially from people that are still living in close vicinity of their parents.

TL;DR
This Method Requires a 5 Year Mindset.
Between the 28th May 2022 and 27th May 2023 I sold £35,713 of courses on Podia.
NOTE: This is not a slow and long lazy pitch to sell a course about selling courses. I’m just sharing my experience.
Full Post with Images here: https://michaelmuttiah.substack.com/p/how-i-sold-35713-of-courses-on-podia
In Part 1 I’ll give you the Short Version to the method I used, and the backstory of how I got here (this was a series of hard fought lessons learnt over 4 years of making and selling courses)
Which includes an earnings breakdown of what I made on Udemy and Skillshare prior to selling on Podia.
Then next week in Part 2, I’ll break down my whole journey.
This is not a get rich quick scheme, it’s just a behind the scenes look at how I did it, and I am still refining and improving this method today.
But, the core premise to selling courses can be broken down into 2 key ideas:

1. Give before you take: Through great content
2. Create something exceptional: I’m still trying to make our digital products better all the time, and every time I get someone asking for a refund I feel a little bit crushed inside (sad, I know) because the person out there buying your course is just like you. They are spending hard earned money on something they genuinely believe will solve their problem. For you to disappoint them is a travesty (and then there are just people who are never happy hahaha)

My thinking around selling courses mainly stemmed from many sources of ideas, but predominantly from the concept of the “generous give” from Seth Godin, and creating super niche content from Ali Abdaal.
Short Version
This is how I thought about selling courses (after previous failed attempts which I’ll outline in the backstory)

1. Choose a Social Media Platform (To get traffic)
2. Create great content that gives an audience value for free (a la Ali Abdaal et al.)
3. Find which pieces of content do best
4. Create a course based around the problem that content solves
5. Make the course really specific, good, useful and over deliver for a great price
6. Repeat

Simple as a concept, requires patience in practise.
Backstory
My previous experience selling courses
Udemy
I made my first course in May 2019. Called the Complete English Interview Course.
It took me a month to make, had 7.5hours of video and handouts galore.
When I released it, do you know what happened?
<3>
F%^& all that’s what.
But you’ve had like 3,500+ students Mike.
You must have made tons of money.
WRONG.
Here’s how much I’ve earned in 4 years
~$350
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing to sniff at.
But considering how much work I put in.
To say I was slightly depressed was an understatement.
Plus I cheated, I gave away like 3,000 free passes to the course to boost the numbers, because I had no idea how else to get people to take the course. I’m not sure if you can still do this, but I just found a couple of groups on Facebook and advertised my course for free, to buy for free.
Result?
Lots of freeloaders, and very few reviews.
I learn 2 important lessons:

1. I need traffic: Though you can believe in the idea of “make it and they shall come” , that really depends on how much time you have to wait. If you’ve got money and time, you can make something great and they will come. But the internet is really busy, and people are easily distracted.
2. What I want doesn’t matter: When I first made the course, I thought it was this super duper, bells and whistles, everything you need for an interview type thing. I was so full of myself and my years of coaching experience and bla bla bla. No one cared. The course was way too long and in-depth when people wanted something. importantly I never even asked people what they wanted, I just made it thinking I know best

Skillshare
About a year after starting my business I started to provide courses on Skillshare, which proved to be a hit in the beginning.
By October of 2021 I had 3 courses live and was earning over $100 a month.
But this wasn’t really enough for me to place more emphasis on publishing courses on Skillshare.
Our Youtube Channel was slowly getting bigger, and we had a steady flow of traffic this time (more about this in Part 2)
So, by creating a flow of regular traffic who trusted me, I created a constant source of sales.
Up until today I've made around ~$1,100 on Skillshare.
At the time I was really proud of my sales and figures on Skillshare, because this was more than I had ever done before.
So, often we can get caught up in big numbers, but everything starts with 1 sale.
But I learnt one major lesson.
If you can drive traffic, then you can control the whole sale. Rather than give a percentage to a marketplace.
Apart from hosting and providing some form of trusted social proof, Skillshare did nothing to advertise my courses or drive further traffic.
They essentially were just a marketplace.
So, towards the end of 2021 I decided it was time to strike out on my own and look at a platform where I could sell my own courses for a flat monthly fee, rather than just taking a percentage from sales of my own content.
Next week, I’ll break down the whole journey from May 2022 to May 2023 which resulted in £35K+ worth of course sales…
This is a repost of a newsletter I write on Substack (which has images and stuff), you can subscribe here: https://michaelmuttiah.substack.com/

We rent an apartment in PA, and were notified last week that the landlord would be coming for a general inspection. No big deal at all... we keep our place fairly well kept. We did a little organizing and we're good.
I work night shift. So I sleep during the day. I stayed up for as long as I could waiting for her so she could check our bedroom if needed, but eventually caved and went to bed as I still had to work that night. My wife works from home during the day so she was there waiting, and would wake me if they needed in our bedroom.
But the entire day went by and the landlord never arrived... until 9:30pm. Easily within the time that alot of tenants are getting ready or are already in bed. I was getting ready for work.
Is there some general time frame where it's then considered unacceptable for a landlord to come over for these things, even with a notice? The notice had no time listed on the letter.
We like our apartment, and the landlord is generally a very nice woman, but everyone in the building was texting each other all day wondering when this inspection was going to happen... only to have her rolling up around 10 at night. That seems a bit rude and insensitive to the tenants.

An old friend of mine once told me never to go to Necro town. I asked him why but he just never gave me the answer. Looking far from my home town, Necro town looked abandoned and was never owned by anybody nearby. Whenever I look out into that town, I wonder about it. The unknown and its many mysteries.
My old friend seems to have lived in that place but he never did. It's as if he was making up a horror story about Necro town. But, I did what he told me to. Never go there. Ever.
I asked my parents about that place. They never knew anything about it except it's just a wasteland. Grandpa never knew about it either. Such a mystery as to why would my old friend prohibit me from entering but my dad said otherwise. "If you want to go there and explore the place, I guess you can. But you better be careful from strangers alright kid."
By the time I turned 14, the bully in my school keeps getting worse on me. I get slammed into a locker, get my head knocked out, and even beaten up. I really don't want to go back to school but how am I supposed to convince my parents that?
The reason I don't have any friends at school was mostly because they don't like me as a person. I expressed myself for who I am and yet I get mocked by them all the time. calling me many names like freak, loser, norm, or even Melvin the idiot. Was it because I'm different? I have no clue about them at all.
I tried to fight back but they just keep winning every time. So then, I run away from school in the middle of classes, lunch breaks, and activities but every time I do, a teacher always caught me down and send me to the principles office. I lied to them and said "Because I wanna get candy." Or "I forgot my books back home.". I don't want to tell them the truth because I knew how much big trouble I'm going to have if I do.
I tried escaping all over again and finally I made it one day. And whenever I escaped, I always go to my old friends house. We go into the woods to go fishing in the pond. I love seeing those shiny blue fishes in the waters because they're just so beautiful when I look at them in the afternoon.
My old friend's name is Brandon West. He's of course much older than me because he's about 64 years old and for some reason he got so much energy to keep himself moving. He always have his brown firm cane with him everywhere he goes. He tells me tales of ancient beings, heavens and hells, the Sturgeon, and the blue turbo.
I've asked about the blue turbo and all he said was. "He's a sad man." Sad man sounds like he's been through a lot.
The blue turbo was born in a world where flame people live. They all have special powers depending on their shape and colors of their bodies. Green flame, blue flame, red flame, etc. He grew up with lovely parents who have similar powers to his. His power is both his parents powers. In his childhood, he grew fond of his friends and family that he devoted his life to protect the good in life.
In his teenage years, he became an officer. Protecting the people who are in danger. It was starting to get dangerous for him, but that never means he won't give up.
In his late 20s, he became a well devoted guardian, fighting against the evil dark powers from beneath the world's surface. He loved everything that is good in life. He had a wife and son while being a guardian. Their relationship was strong and they did whatever it takes to enjoy life. But then one day, the world around them turned into a warfare. The evil dark powers are killing people whilst they fight back. He fought hard and won. But it was at a huge cost. He lost his wife and child right in front of his eyes. Lost what's left in the world. He fell to a deep depression, which he quit being a guardian and was never to be seen again.
Brandon always looked sad whenever he told me the blue turbo. It's as if that felt real and it did happen. But, it is compelling. I asked him about where did the blue turbo go. He said. "Don't know. But wherever he is, he'll still devote himself in life."
One day when I was 16, I escaped school again and this time it didn't go well. By the time I walked behind the basketball court, I was caught by the bully and his gang. "Well oh well. Looks like Melvin the idiot is trying to leave the school all by himself. You're really going to leave again just so that you'll get away from us? That ain't happening norm." They were going to beat me up badly, so I didn't waste anymore time as I ran away from them. I didn't know how fast I was at this point.
They kept following me as I ran on the sidewalk. I didn't want to look back because I knew very well that if I did, I'll slow down. The running footsteps behind me kept pacing towards me. I can hear the loud steps as if they're like the golem's foot. My breath is getting shallow the more I keep running and my legs began to grow numb and sore. But I never slowed down nor stop. I just kept running until I finally lost them.
"Get back here you freak!!"
"We're going to kill you loser!!"
Then, a road towards Necro Town appeared before me. The words from Brandon echoed inside my mind not to go in there. My heart beats in fear. The bully and his gang chasing behind me like I'm their food to eat. The thought of it made me stop at my tracks. My legs are about to surrender to my exhaustion and I can feel every pain coming from my muscles.
I can hear the footsteps behind me as I think of any other options. There are no other ways to go except into Necro town. I don't want to be beaten up or killed. Then, every memory of myself being bullied by them flashes into my mind, making me very angry. I'm sick and tired of being their boxing bag. It's time for me to fight back!
They stood on their grounds before me. Laughing at me with mockery. I stood my grounds and prepared myself for the worst. "I'm tired of being your boxing bag! It's time for me to stand up for myself! I'm not afraid of you!!" But I lied. I'm still scared of getting beaten up. All I want is for them to stop bullying me forever.
The bully rushes towards me and I was ready to punch him at any moment given. By the time he's in front of me, I missed my shot. The punishment for my failed attempt to punch him was getting knocked out by his punch in the face. I fell to the ground, knocking my head against it. My body passed through the limits of entering Necro town. My head and shoulders lay on the Necro town grounds.
I was then slowly dragged into Necro town by the bully's gang. I can feel the painful sting on my back as I get dragged. Suddenly, before I went to sleep mode, I heard screams. The bully's scream fades far away and his gang gets slowly decreasing. My arms are dropped down. The hands that held me tight are loosened from my arms so fast. I can hear each of them screaming in fear as piece by piece they disappear. Then I blacked out.
I woke up to find myself in an empty dark room. While my vision was getting clear, I slowly stand back up. When I got back my conscious, I gagged from the awful stench that just came from inside this room. I looked around to see where's the door for my escape and there, I see the shining golden knob reflecting my sight. I ran and grab hold of it, then twist it to open the door. To my very eyes, I've witnessed the most insane horror I've ever had in my life.
The sources aren't just in the room I was in. It was also in the living room because there are 5 dead bodies hanging like pig meat. Their flesh cut and sliced so disgustingly brutal that I can see their organs and tissues beginning to slip out of the sockets. Blood and bones are spread around the floor, shining the cold light that shines through the curtains of the outside. When I look at the top of their corpses, there are eyes looking directly at me with fear. Then I realize that they're still alive.
They suddenly screamed everywhere with the pain they share. I blocked my ears with my palm as I felt the twist in my stomach getting worse. Tears rapidly escapes out of my eyes that I shut my eyes tight. I quickly ran out of there and arrived to a room that is full of random colors. The colors are wrong. They're all wrong in many different ways that I can't describe so well about it. The screams and the colors made me vomit all over the floor. I nearly fell to the ground but I kept myself back up in hopes of leaving this place. I want to go home. I want to see Brandon again and tell him I'm sorry for entering this nightmare. I wished I'd rather get beaten up than coming here to lead my bully and his crew to their unholy demise.
I spun around in a frenzy and saw the bright and weird door before me. I quickly opened it and I was met with a freezing atmosphere. The world turned into some sort of hell. There are large stone spikes all over Necro town, crushing through the houses. The sky all grey and the sun is smiling at me with an empty mouth. Its eyes glaring at me in those sockets. The Sockets are too big for the eye balls that I thought it'll fall to the ground but it didn't.
I don't see anybody else outside. There's only the deformed flesh like trees and broken homes. My heart begins to panic. The world is making me crazy and horrified at the same time that I froze in place.
Something was walking behind me. They felt wrong, all wrong like it's not human. I turned around to see nothing. Literally nothing. There's no room filled with colors and the screaming stopped. Far away from myself is the darkest room I've ever seen. All dark. No light. Nothing.
I closed the door behind me and checked the room that was hanging my bully and his colleagues but they're all gone and the wall is stained with blood. The writing gave me enough chills and fear that drives me mad. There is no god to save you, Hermit
I spun around in a frenzy as if someones looking at me. I can feel the eyes are at me and I don't know where it is until a stomp noise can be heard right in the room I woke up in. At first, there were loud footsteps, and now it's banging on the door like a maniac. I didn't wait for it to come out of course. So I ran away, outside in the hellish Necro town.
I'm running on the road now and something is coming for me. Thoughts popping inside my head about whatever is coming for me, it won't lose my tracks as it can smell my very soul. Until I was very far away from the house I was in, a loud scream booms from that house. The scream is like the thousand souls tormented in hell for all eternity. I can feel its gaze at me with its hellish intentions.
I didn't stop to look back. I just kept running until I get into my home. How far is this town? Because I've been running for much longer and the town shouldn't be so far. The footsteps are getting closer as my heart beats faster with every second of its footsteps getting closer.
My legs became so sore and numb, and my lungs became so shallow from the burning air. I suddenly coughed so much that I fell to the ground, hitting my elbow. I tried to crawl away but it was already too late as the thing behind me has already come to get me. I rolled on my back and looked forward to see a tall hideous figure.
It was a tall humanoid with coal like skin. Its skin tightens its bones and I can see its red blood veins pulse around its deflated muscles. Its legs are of a goat's legs, resembling the creature to be something demonic like the devil. The arms are so long that its length is from shoulder to feet. Snd its fingers are way too long that it's like a monstrous claw. Its head is not human, more like a hood connecting to its shoulders. It's not the long and impossible stretched jaw that made me scream. The eyes are because there's nothing in them. Nothing but darkness of Sheol.
It's reaching me with those hideous claws while screaming like a wild demonic animal ready to pounce on their prey. Is this really how I was going to die. To be brutally mauled by its claws and jaw. Will I share the same fate as the bully and his comrades? I don't want to know and I never want to live like this. I'm scared. I don't want to die.
By the time it reaches me, something bright hits it. It's like I'm looking at a fireball? It was big. Bigger than my torso. I looked upwards to see a bright blue figure approaching me. It's like I'm looking at someone from the afterlife because its whole body is in flames except for a recognizable coat, pants, and a cane.
"It's been so long since I've fought these creatures." It was a voice of an old man I recognize clearly. But this doesn't make any sense at all. It's so strange for this guy to sound like Brandon but his voice matches him.
The creature growled at him like a dog and I didn't waste anytime to get away from it. But the smoking smell in my lungs prohibit me to get away. It's like I was dying. But my eyes are alright.
The creature jumps over me, attacking the savior of my life. He shot another fire ball at it and that makes the creature soar back. The creature stands back up wildly before the stranger appeared before it as if he teleported in a blink of an eye. He wack his cane at its head which rips off from its neck. This stranger killed that creature like its nothing but when he turned around I can see fear on his face.
His face, I can see his eyes and mouth. There's also 2 triangular scar at the sides of his chin and they're not burning in flames. "Melvin. I can explain later but right now we have to leave." He said my name just like Brandon does. This is insane, I don't know if I was dreaming or it's real because everything is going mad.
"Let me help you up." He held me by the arm, pulling me up from the ground as I tried to take a breath. My legs are too tired for me to walk. But when he pulled me from the ground, I felt a great sensation of cleansing in my lungs and my legs and muscles began to relax. His hands doesn't hurt nor burn me as if it's a regular hand with no effect on me. I look at him and still he's in fear. Why would he be scared too?
"Brandon?" I said with fear and question in my voice. He looked at me with defeat as if he can't hide that away anymore. That's how I knew he's Brandon. "Well. Looks like you got it right. But come on. Lets move now. You don't want the fish and chips cold." As he ran, I followed in pursuit. My legs felt reborn and my lungs have increased somehow. This felt so real. Everything does. I'm not dreaming at all. It's really happening. I kept asking Brandon with many questions from my head. "You're the blue turbo?"
"Yes. I am."
"Where were you after you quit being a -"
"Melvin. Now is not the time. We have to go. I'll answer them until we reach home ok."
We were suddenly blocked by 5 more of these creatures. They're just like the one I met before when I was being chased. I hid behind Brandon for safety as the creatures screams. I stepped far back from them, not wanting to turn into their puppet or something worse. I looked around to see more of them approaching us with hungry mouths. We're surrounded.
We stand with our backs facing each other. I'm horrified to see more of these demonic creatures all around us, ready to pounce at any moment. When I turn to see Brandon I thought he would be scared but he looks like he knew this would happen. "Melvin, when I say go, run away and don't look back. Keep running no matter what."
"What? But I don't want to leave you."
"I know. But this is the least I can do for you to live. You know my story Melvin. You know why."
My heart sank from the message. Leaving him here with all these creatures, I don't even know if he'll live on after this. But what can I do against these creatures. I'm just a human. I felt so much fear and guilt. After for what I've done to myself and Brandon. I wished I never come here ever.
The monsters are creeping in. I can hear the chatters from their jaws and the footsteps around us. The creatures are ready to kill us because their backs are lifting up as a sign of predatory nature. Then suddenly when Brandon pierces his cane to the ground a loud boom vibrated around us as blue circular waves from the cane emerges out. The waves created a gravitational force that the creatures started floating in the air. Except we weren't floating. "GO!!"
And with that, I ran away as fast as I can, far away from this hell, far away from the only friend I have in my life. I can hear the sounds of vibration turned shut quiet and the screams of the demonic creatures so loud I ran even more faster. Tears are falling from my cheek with the guilt squeezing my heart with pain.
When I finally escaped and was on the clear road, I cried. I cried so much that I can feel everything around me started to fall. I've lost my best friend in Necro town and it's all my fault. I've lost him. I was lying on the ground with the deepest depression in my soul hurting me. I can't bare to lose my friend. I just can't. What am I even supposed to do? I can't save him. I'm not strong enough. I'm just scared.
I'm now sitting at the front porch of Brandon's home. Waiting for him to come back for days. I haven't eaten anything nor come back home or school. I just stayed there waiting for him to come back. I'm alone and scared.
I kept being bothered by random people. They ask why I'm still outside. I never did answer until they called the hospital or the cops. I told them there's nothing to worry about but they don't believe me. If I tell them the truth, they'll die in Necro town and I don't want that for them. I don't believe the cops would understand.
From every hospital or cops I went through, I just kept coming back. Even my parents told me to stay home, I snuck out in the night waiting for my old friend. I did eat sometimes but not really much. I just went to my room until night time arrives.
Then, one day, at midnight, he's back. He's really back. I was so happy and glad he's alive just the way he is. But when I approached to hug him, he collapsed down to his knees. I was exploded with fear and worry. I helped him up and asked him what just happened. "I don't have much time Melvin. Lets go inside, we have a visitor I think you would like to meet. Meet Judith Wednesday." Behind him was a girl who's the same age as me. Her hair is black and she wore a grey hoodie with a logo I've never seen in my whole life. She was covered in dark red blood. The blood that is definitely from the creatures in Necro town.
We all went in and I gave Brandon a seat on the couch. Judith sat next to his left. And me, I sat next to his right. "Brandon, what happened?"
He looked at me with a smile on his face as he begins to change form in front of my eyes. His body changed like he was glowing and the flames form around him. His form now just like the form I saw while at Necro city. "Well. With the help of this young lady, we've defeated all the monsters. But, for me, it didn't go well for me. I'm slowly dying you see. I'm not going to have much time in this world."
"But you can't die. You're like spiritual aren't you?"
"Yes. But that doesn't mean death can't happen to me. I don't know where people like me go when they die. Nobody does."
I can feel my heart race as the tears slides on my face. I can't help myself but to cry before him.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have go to Necro town. I shouldn't have."
"Melvin. It's not your fault. I saved you because I wanted you to live a life I protected. It's my choice. And I'm glad I did. Now. Lets go fishing together. One last time."
I wiped my tears away, trying my best not to ruin this very moment but I just couldn't help myself. He reached out his arms and I took it. I hugged him tightly whilst crying so deeply that I don't want to let go. We've stayed like this for couple of minutes until I finally let go with my soul finally relaxing but with small sadness. My guilt is free.
We grabbed our fishing equipment and went to the river in the forest. Judith follows us with a fishing rod in hand. I don't feel anything like talking to her but at least we both have company. To share the moment together I guess. But this is for Brandon and I hope she knew that too.
When we arrived at the jetty and started placing worm food at the hooks. Brandon was the first to throw his fishing hook. The fishing hook was glowing blue, just like his flames. The pond glowed so bright like a lantern. It was beautiful. The fishes shine so bright from the light. It's as if the world around us is gone and all that matters was this very moment before death.
Judith was struggling to put the worm food at the hook. I went to help her but she said. "It's ok. I got it." By the time her finger was nearly stabbed by the hook, the tip of her finger turned into metal. But that didn't bother me because at this moment, it felt like home. We just laughed. I don't know why we were laughing and it's like being a kid again.
We threw our fishing hooks in the pond, waiting for a fish to bite. The shiny blue fishes. They're more beautiful than I'd remembered. The stains of my tears fades away. "Melvin. You promise me that you'll stay strong?"
I heard Brandon said and I didn't believe it at first. How can I be strong for those that really need help or even myself? "I'm not strong."
"You are. You're strong the way you are. It's ok to be scared because that's a part of how we live. You're a good man Melvin. You just got to believe in yourself."
"How?"
With a smile on his face, he replied. "You find ways to make yourself better. Achieve your goals. And enjoy life." His words are so convincing that I begin to believe that. My eyes caught my attention to Judith with a warm and sad smile on her face. For some reason, that helped me believe too. I think I can be strong if that's what he said. "Ok. I'll be strong."
"Good. Remember Melvin, you're not alone." And with a sad and free smile on his face, he faded away before my very eyes. His body evaporated into nothing as the last bits of his flames disappear. The tears in my eyes slowly fell as I look into the the pond and the sun beginning to rise.
"I know how it feels." I heard Judith said.
"Really?'
"I've lost my mom and dad to cancer. My mom died when I turned 8. My dad died when I'm at the age of 16. I felt so depressed when my parents die right in front of me. I can't do anything except watch."
"I guess we both got the same moment then. I wish I could just get him back." She looked at me with sad eyes. This very moment makes us feel so calmly sad like its a funeral or somewhere quiet.
"I know. But there's nothing we can do. We just have to move forward with the memories."
It was nice to have someone with me who had similar stories like mine. She was right, we can't do anything about it. We can't get them back. It was hard for me, I know well. Like she said, I had to move forward and keep the memories I had with Brandon. I looked at the sky and prayed that wherever Brandon is now, he's at peace with his wife and son. In a good life he deserved.
It's been a few weeks. I stopped trying to escape school because my bully's are gone. But that didn't make me feel better at all nor felt good. Their parents looked everywhere for them, even the cops but they're not found. Some of the cops went into Necro town and was never heard of again. I wished I could warn them but they don't believe me when I did.
Judith came to visit me every now and then whenever I left school. We exchange stories of our past lives and other stories shared by others. We became close as friends as we kept hanging out with each other. I'm very glad and happy to have a new friend. She's not like any other teenager I've ever met. She's really good with cutting wood. She even shot an arrow directly at the fish in the river.
She's really cool but also depressing. She doesn't have any other friends and doesn't even go to school. Her mom died first, which is the reason she stopped going to school. So that she'll spend more time with her dad just like with her mom. She didn't want any friends. She only wanted her mom and dad and they're enough for her. Until she lost them. They were everything to her. But as time goes, she moved on and came here.
I knew how she fought the creatures with Brandon. At first I thought she was lost like me too but she's much stronger than I'd think. She told me she got a robot spirit within her spirit. A fusion. She can form into the form of her spiritual companion. Her name was Athena and in every single dream she kept coming over in her dreams, babbling random stuff. She's inside of her head, which means she's the everyday annoying voice in her mind that she cannot get away from. I felt bad for her at first but she shrugged it off, saying. "But hey, we got along with each other. Even that I don't like her at first, she's a person too."
One day, we went to the woods at night with our flash lights. It was horrifying for me because we could get lost so easily here. Sweat poured down on my forehead as we kept walking into the woods. Until suddenly, a bright blue light in front of us glows in the night. When we approached the light, it was the pond.
The pond was glowing the same light as Brandon's. This never happened ever in every night or day. Unless he did something or he somehow resides there. But I don't feel like he's there. But I can feel something else.
We walked to the jetty until we stopped near the edge. The pond is as beautiful as I remember with the blue shiny fishes swimming around it. I wonder what happens if I put my hand in the pond. Will I feel something warm or something else. Maybe my arm will glow. I don't know. But then something grew within my soul. A connection. As if the pond wants me to put my hand in. It felt amusing.
So I did it without hesitation. It felt warm as I swim my right hand in the water. The water suddenly jumped on my arm. I thought I was going to panic but I didn't flinch. Instead I let it do what it does. Judith tried to pull me away but I told her not to. She then watched as the glow of the pond gathered around the water that is holding my arm. I felt a great sensation of warmth and heat. I felt a stinging pain all over my arm but it quickly turned into a cold feeling.
All of the glow of the blue flame from the pond is now on my arm, glowing as small flames flew up from my arm, just like Brandon's head of flames. As the glow fades away, I can see clearly that my arm is stained with bright blue.
The pond is now empty of normal water and the fish swims peacefully. We were both shocked as to what happened. Did the glow of Brandon's flames just fused with my arm? I can definitely feel the power from my arm coursing with my soul. "How did it feel?"
"It felt like, painful at first but went normal. I don't know." A realization hit me that I forgot where my flashlight was. I looked to find nothing. Judith helped me out by lighting around the place but it wasn't enough. Suddenly, I felt something in my arm. I lift my hand up and gripped tight, making a bold fist. When I opened my hand, a bright blue flame appeared before me. A bright orb of blue flame glowing our surroundings.
It's as if I knew what I was doing. It's like my soul is connected to this power. When I looked at Judith, her face was a surprised look. I'm surprised as well. So I think I have Brandons powers now. I think I know the reason the glow came tonight. Brandon gave me his powers because what's the point in keeping them when he's living in a peaceful life. I understand now.
I looked around and found my flashlight dropped in the pond. I was frightened that it could've electrocuted the fishes but it didn't. I wasn't paying any attention to it. Accidentally dropping my flashlight. But it looked to be drained off somehow. When I was grabbing in for it, the pond created a vortex beneath the touch of my right palm.
It was shockingly beautiful to watch. The vortex flows so smoothly. I then put my foot on the ground and the pond made space for me to be able to move around. The fish swims all around the pond as I stepped on the ground of the pond beneath me. It was dry. All dry. I grabbed my flashlight and looked up to the jetty. To Judith. With a smile on her face, she said. "This is so cool."
I smiled back as the pond begins to glow and my right hand glows with blue the blue flames. I stand on the ground of the pond my old friend and I loved going to. I have the gift from Brandon and now, I think I'll use this power for good.
I looked up into the night sky, watching the stars shine above whilst a shooting star appeared with them.
I'll be strong Brandon. I'll overcome every obstacle I come across and overcome the suffering. I'll be strong for who I am. And no one is going to stand in my way of doing that.

Hey everyone!
Relatively new to FL still and I currently make mixes and mashups of songs for fun! Since I use lots of pre-existing songs, I download them from Youtube through online YT to mp3 converters in the highest quality (320), but I find that the quality when imported into FL is still a bit worse. Ex: Doesn't sound as full or it sounds a bit more static-y in the louder parts.
My question is: What is the highest quality file type I should be downloading that doesn't take up so much space?
I know wavs are the gold standard, but in my experience they take longer to download and take up more space.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I have been at the firm I work at for almost 1.5 years. Throughout the period I haven't performed brilliantly, mostly because I'm super junior and trying to learn, but I was good enough to get off probation and never received negative feedback to my face (I did notice that some documents I prepared were changed a lot and some of my tasks were reassigned).
About a month ago I was pulled into a room by 2 of the partners who basically said that I am performing well below my level and that they want to do fortnightly catch ups to monitor my improvement. They stressed that it was not a performance plan, but could lead to one if improvement did occur.
I have completed 3 tasks for the partner since, she said the first 2 were good but the third was a bit of a step backwards. Our payrises were also announced today and they said given the situation, they are only giving me a 4k raise while everyone else is getting a 15k raise.
I actually asked my boss are you trying to get me to leave and I am missing the point here and they said no, as you said, if we wanted to get rid of you, we wouldn't have given you the chance to improve.
My friends think I should talk to a recruiter, would that be premature? I acknowledge that I still have a lot to improve on, and I am keen on improving, but does this pre performance plan plan have a foregone conclusion?

Repetitive behaviour is one of the main traits of autism, however it comes to show in many different ways. I'm curious about what exactly it is in terms of neurology (I'm looking for relevant studies, in case you know any!), because it's often just described symptomatic like ridget routines, watching the same movie or listening to the same music on repeat and so on. But I rather not mistake it with a psychological need for comfort, but then again - it might even be two sides of the same coin - cognitive latency makes task switching and sudden changes difficult, even stressful, so obviously sameness creates the comfort of predictability. But in that case, the root of the stress isn't the unpredictable things, it's the anxiety about having to cognitively adjust. I discovered that for me, this ridget thinking doesn't revolve around a specific theme as much as it's about the way I use my brain. If working a lot on stuff that requires me to use problem solving, even if it's fun and challenging, I'll keep being in this cognitive state in other situations that doesn't require me to problem solve. In case of distress and situations that isn't linked to my special interest, I might still be problem solving subconsciously, even if it doesn't matter because there are just certain things that are out of my control. No wonder why we burn out so much. Other times I'm stuck in "artist" mode, and use all my senses for creative inspiration. It's almost the complete opposite of the planning mode, I'm in an 'open mindset' rather than closed and specific. It's blissful, but I forget everything about all my obligations in life. Even my central nervous system has a latency in the way it reacts, which have often confused me when I tried to figure out why I was anxious. I found a pattern in my triggers, and discovered that especially deep rooted traumas triggers symptoms a few hours or even a day later (and even that feeling can get stuck as well). A discovery that complicates things in social and work related situations where I don't have the time and mental energy to notice and reflect when I get triggered and boundaries crossed.
It makes me think twice about the thing about executive disfunction in autism. I know a ton of autists (and myself included) who's special interest require a lot of problem solving and planning - executive function stuff. But since it's a special interest, motivation is up, and a lot of stuff is just muscle memory (and memory takes less mental energy than executive functions), but since executive functions are some of the most energy costly things for our brain, and the latency compared with the dopamine rush just makes it hard to stop the flow (hyperfocus), there isn't much energy left for the boring tasks that also requires executive functions - especially not if the brain can't make the same shortcuts and rely on memory. Daily routines is a mundane task for anyone, but if your mind isn't hyperfocused on all the alternative routes to work, the task switching from memory to planning is an adjustment with little to no dopamine reward when you discover that your usual route is blocked due to maintenance. So it's not stubbornness that makes the autist have a meltdown due to change, it's the lack of mental energy and time to adjust. And any other stress or anxiety is just a bottomless pit of mental energy waste that increase the energy expense even further. Stress and anxiety that isn't part of autistic neurology, might even perceive the situation as dangerous, shutting down certain cognitive areas - such as executive functions (common stress symptom), combine that with a social anxiety about coming to work late, and you got a snowball rolling - but most of it might not even be due to autism itself, but rather the psychological consequences of being autistic. I think it's important to distinguish those, and I wish more studies took this into account.

Hi! Singaporean here, just wanted to say to all the people I’ve been seeing on here recently saying that the headline means something different from the Singapore based devs that that’s not true. There’s absolutely no context missing, and as far as I can tell from everyone I’ve spoken to from here this really is a reference to the Nazis. Please stop defending the devs with this excuse! I’m proud of my country and I really don’t want people thinking that we use Nazi phrases everywhere over here!!
To the people saying that this is being blown out of proportion:
The headline is offensive and in poor taste. While the phrase may have had a history before being used by the Nazis, it is still most widely recognised as the German phrase inscribed over the entrance of Auschwitz, a concentration camp during the Second World War whose walls saw the deaths of thousands of men, women and children. Please don’t take this lightly. This phrase’s most recent use in history was to aid efforts in deceiving innocent people to work themselves to the bone and subsequently murdering them like cattle. It is connected with pain that many of us literally cannot understand, or can only scarcely imagine.
To people saying that the devs have already apologised and we should move on:
Hey man, if someone had said or done something wrong but apologised afterwards, are you not going to at least watch them for a while? This is a demand for accountability. The devs took something linked to the suffering of many people, innocent people by the way, and made it into a joke. That’s not ok, and we shouldn’t just move past it so quickly.
I haven’t seen the apology yet but by all accounts it’s tepid and half-assed. That’s not ok either, because it shows an unwillingness to admit their mistakes and/or that they think that what they did was ok. However, I haven’t read the apology yet because I can’t find it. If it turns out to be a wonderful apology, 10/10, takes accountability and tells us that they will strive to do better, I’m going to come back later and correct myself on this post because I think that being able to own up to my own mistakes is an admirable trait. Let’s see how it goes.

Hello folks!
I've been running into an issue lately which doesn't seem to get solved. Curious for your thoughts about this one. It's definitely not my first time building a PC so I (almost) can't imagine I'm doing something wrong. I'm on a Gigabyte B760 GAMING X AX with a i7-13700KF in combination with 4X 16GB DDR5 5600 (Corsair).
There is no way I am able to install Windows 11 without getting any of the BSoD's that are stated below. The company I bought the products from already swapped the CPU (due to a "faulty' CPU) and the RAM. I asked them the first time to change the motherboard, because I 'feel' the issue is there.
I've literally tried everything. Different USB, different Windows version, RUFUS, MediaCreationTool, different USB port. Swapped my dedicated GPU for an older one, changed PSU. Disconnected all the case-functions such as front panel etc. I also updated the BIOS to the latest version. I even installed the system into my home-PC (this is about work-PC) and it still has the same issue.Another strange fact is that the On-Board graphics don't seem to work, as well as the USB-C port on the motherboard. And yes, I know you have to disconnect the GPU in order to make the On-Board actually graphics work. There is no way I can get video out of my integrated graphics.
They constantly refuse to replace the motherboard because they don't think the problem is there. I'm kind of helpless and tired about this situation. It's already been running for 4 weeks.
Sorry for sharing my long story. What do you guys think the problem could be?
Thanks in advance!
IRQL NOT LESS OR EQUALCACHE MANAGERSYSTEM_SYS FailureQUOTA UNDERFLOWPFN LIST CORRUPTCACHE MANAGERIRQL NOT LESS OR EQUALKERNEL MODE HEAP CONNECTIONSYSTEM THREAD EXCEPTION NOT HANDLEDNTOSKML.EXECRITICAL PROCESS DIEDEVENT TRACING FATAL ERRORWATCHDOG.SYSPAGE FAULT IN NONPAGED_AREWHEA UNCORRECTABLE ERRORKMODE NOT HANDLEDKMODE EXCEPTION NOT HANDLEDWIN32KBASE.SYSATTEMPTED TO ACCESS READONLY MEMORYNTFS.SYS

I somehow forgot to post an update for April and when I realized my mistake, it was already almost the end of May, so I decided to lump the two together. These two months were mostly the months of Pathfinder. I spent whole April and most of the May playing Kingmaker and brainstorming my character for Wrath of the Righteous. I think my friends, who decided to play alongside me helped that a lot. And we even started talking about trying Pathfinder tabletop game just few hours ago, which I'll DM for. It's nice when videogames have this kind of effect on people. Other than that, I finished Hero's Hour and while I had fun with it as Heroes clone, it was lacking some depth that would hook me on it. I also played forgotten adventure A Vampyre Story, which I wish got a sequel. I finally finished Heidi: The Game. Took me like an hour in total. It was mindless 2D platformer and I still don't regret playing it. Then in May, I opened Itch.io and a small game called Fridge Floppers caught my attention. It was fun in-and-out action to complete during my break. I also finally got around to play Frog Detective 3 and it was magnificent ending to the whole trilogy. I played Five Dates, which is well-made interactive movie about dating in the time of corona. And I also played the Mafia: Definitive Edition, a remake of my childhood game. At the end of the month, I started playing Total War: Three Kingdoms. Last Total War game I played was Napoleon, so it has been a while. It's fun so far. On Switch, I made some progress in Xenoblade Chronicles 3, but I'm close to just dropping it. I'm not feeling it. On the other hand, I bought Fire Emblem: Engage and I'm having fun with it so far. I also played LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga, which is really boring and doesn't live up to the original LEGO games. I'm currently at Episode VIII, so I think I'll just quickly get past the story mode and end it there. So, let's talk about these games. This will be long update. And as always, beware of spoilers...
Hero's Hour
Well, this journey finally ended. I had to make it my secondary go-for game to break a gameplay stereotype a little bit, but I think I'm finally done with it.
I appreciate what the devs decided to do. A Heroes clone that combines stuff from 3rd and 4th entry sounds crazy, but it works. I felt like at home right from the start. The inspiration is sometimes way too obvious, for example there are structures with 1:1 design taken straight from Heroes. I don't mind it that much, I took it as a nod to the legendary series. I would say the inspiration helped me get "in" the game and understand some of the deeper mechanics faster.
The fractions in this game are a combination of Heroes 3 and 4 fractions mixed with something new. Each fraction had its own gimmick that made it unique. For example undead fraction could rise dead enemies, the barbarians could only level up their units by combat, sea fraction could dig up pearls and trade them for more units, lovecraftian fraction had powerful heroes, who could be on multiple places at once, but had to sacrifice some cultists to be able to recruit stronger units and so on... I've played about a half of maps with random fraction to try them all, but later rotated between 3-4 fractions based on my current mood. I think my favourites were undeads and seafolks.
Each fractions had multiple heroes, each one with unique skill tree. But some skills were shared by multiple characters. And with it comes one of my biggest gripes with the game. These skill trees are so unbalanced. There is OP skill that let's you fill a bar after each battle and when you fill it up, it will spawn a Red Dragon on your team. Red Dragon is one of the strongest units in the game. And that is not all. When level up, this skill also let's you upgrade Red Dragons into Black Dragons, who are even more broken than their Heroes 4 counterpart. And some characters can get this skill as early as level 2. Meaning that you can get extreme push in power within first few turns of the game and can completely steamroll your opponents. But it's not the only skill that is unbalanced. While heroes take active part in the battle, their damage is minimal and there are barely any skills that would make them better. Meaning that heroes' main purpose is to cast spells. And the problem is that some heroes only get spell skills at the top of their skill tree. While there are some good pasive skills, the ability to completely wreck your enemies with spells is just better. I mean there are spells that will basically take your opponent's units and make them yours. And once again, some characters can get these spells super early in the game or even start with them.
Which slowly brings me to battles. I had love-hate relationship with them throughout the whole game. Your units move and attack on their own and your only interaction with the battlefield are your heroes' spells. Well, you can also tell your units to retreat or move somewhere else, but it usually had no effect on the battle. So your only way to affect the battle stands on the ability of your hero to cast spells. And having enough mana to do so. As I said, some spells were crazy. There were multiple times, when I got in the battle with just my hero and small army of troops against huge army. And I won just because my hero could cast overpowered spells the whole time. Be it summoning spells or spells that make some of your opponent's unit instantly disappear or change the team or just good old meteorite rain. On the other hand, when my hero had no spells or couldn't cast them, I had to sit through multiple minutes of automatic battle, which got boring pretty fast, because each unit has one animation for movement and one for attack. Because the battlemaps were flat with nothing interesting on them, I also could strategize in any meaningful way. And it was the worst during battles I knew I'll win, just based on power and numbers of my units, but still had to sit through them. Also in most games, there was usually one huge clash with each opponent, after which my opponent could never get enough momentum again to be any threat.
Final point I would to gather my thoughts on are maps themselves. There is no campaign, only few skirmishes. Well, there are over 40 of them. Each map is randomly generated, but you always see the general skeleton the map will follow. It will show you if you and your enemies are connected by land or sea and if there are any neutral towns. But while each map was randomly generated, most of them felt the same. All of them was divided into same areas. Your starting area, where you could get the starting resources. This area was locked away from the neutral area and your opponents by either a guarded tunnel or guarded fortress. This made most of the maps look the same. I was also missing some better motivation than just "beat all of your enemies." I think a campaign would be fun.
Overall, it was unbalanced fun. It was nice watching my army completely wrecks my opponent. But I wish there was more to it. It felt a little bit shallow. 6.5/10.
A Vampyre Story
It's crazy and a little bit eerie, how many games, good games, get forgotten so quickly. Especially today, when we get hundreds upon hundreds of games daily. It's sad that there isn't enough time to play every interesting title. Or that some cool series never really sees an ending. It wouldn't happen to games I play, right? There is no way. I'm denying any possibility that this could happen to me.
Which is exactly what happened to A Vampyre Story. This P&C adventure game was planned as a whole trilogy. And they really wanted to make you want it. So you can imagine my surprise, when the game just suddenly ended with a cliffhanger. And when I wanted to get the closure the game owned me, I found out the sequel never came out. There is a prequel, but I want to know what happened to Mona! I need to know! It's my right to know! That makes me angry!
I just spent 4 hours getting to know all the characters. I wish I could do anything to experience at least a bit of what happens next. There is even a trailer for a sequel still available on YouTube. Maybe we could bargain a deal?
Is there even a point in playing games anymore? If all we get is uncertainty after enjoying a good game, isn't it depressing that there will never be a sequel?
Bur it's all gone, isn't it? I'll never meet A Vampyre Story's characters again. They will forever be locked in a cycle of escaping that cursed castle again and again. They will always end up on their way to a crazy scientist. Poor Mona. It's depressing.
But you know what? I had fun with it. I loved its art style and humour. I enjoyed exploring the castle and the town and solving the puzzles. I liked that you could use your bat companion as an item, which meant you could combine him with other items. In the end, nothing can take my enjoyment back. So, I think the only thing to do is to accept that this was one-off experience and move on.
Overall, I hope you enjoyed my [s]stages of grief[/s] review of A Vampyre Story. 8/10.
Heidi: The Game
It's strange. I got this game alongside my Game Boy Micro and bunch of other (and arguably better) games, but this one stayed in my mind and from time to time, I noticed I'm thinking about it. So it's only natural for me to pick it up again and play it.
It's a game based on a children book. I remember I read the book in primary school during classes. And I was lucky to be familiar with the story, because the game barely tell you anything about it. It don't even bother to be consistent. For example Heidi mentions Klara once out of nowhere at the end of the game, while completely ignoring her existence up until that point. Other characters are pretty much non-existing, only one of them has dialogue and that's only at the start of the game.
The gameplay is simple. It's 2D platformer, where you go from left to right. And about 70 % of the levels really felt like I was just holding a forward button and just beat the level by jumping at the right time to avoid pits and enemies. The rest had me sometimes going up or down and very rarely (in like 2 levels), I actually had to navigate through a complex layout. It's a game for small kids, I get it, but some levels could be finished in under a minute with minimal input.
Overall, for a game that lasted me for about an hour, it was fun and quick, but didn't really leave an impression. It would be cool flash game. Nothing more, nothing less. 6/10.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker
"It takes 500 hours to complete, " that was an ad for a game I was a little bit interested in. Up until that moment. After I read this ad, I moved the game to the "probably will never play" category. "An epic adventure that will take you 100s of hours to finish, " says another ad for another game. But it fails to address that that game has enough content for about 20 hours and the rest is just a boring filler.
One view, when it comes to value of games is how long it is. And it's honestly something I can't really understand. Time spent in the game is weird variable to measure the value of the game with. For example, when I finally decided to play The Witcher 3 (as someone, who played previous entries on launch, I was turned down by the switch to more traditional open-world and the promise of 100s of hours of content), I spent over 100 hours in it on one playthrougth. But, and also because of this, I think it's mediocre game with great dialogues and cinematography. I experienced everything the game has to offer in about 20 hours. But the game never built up on that, so the final 80 hours of my gameplay were really bland and boring and felt like a filler for most parts. I really only kept up playing because the general consensus about it is that it's one of the best RPG of all time and I just didn't get to the good parts yet. Which is a lot weirder, since it isn't really a RPG, but that's probably a topic for another time. On the other hand, Smile For Me is a game I've finished in one sitting one evening. It knew exactly what it wants to do, executed it perfectly and ended right when it was suppose to. And it's a game I still fondly remember to this day. The art of ending the game at the right time is really hard to master and it doesn't always apply that longer games don't know when to end. For example, Divinity: Original Sin 2, that I've played last month is long game. But it's exactly as long as it needs to be. It barely has any filler in it and leaves me wanting more. On the other side, SUPERHOT is about 2 hours long, but even that is way too much and feels like a slog and just doesn't know when to end.
Which slowly gets me to Pathfinder: Kingmaker. Kingmaker puts you in a shoes of a (future) monarch. As you progress the game, you gain the ability to manage your kingdom. And with it comes the biggest problem. The game has awful pacing. It starts good. Kill a bandit king and claim good lands. You have few days to do it. But then, you quickly get another, more personal quest. And suddenly, you have to choose. Which one will your pursue first. Will you take out your competitor and risk that the only trail you have to the bandit king will go cold? It adds so much to the game and you question whatever you've done the right thing.
But as the game goes on and you get your kingdom, these choices slowly disappear and all you're left with is "you have X days to finish this quest," which the game sometimes doesn't even tell you and then will just say you failed the objective after some time. While this adds to the overall feeling of alive world, it also introduces few more problems.
But let's talk about the kingdom management for now. You get special quests that can be resolved by you or your advisors and take some time. You basically just click, who will solve which quest and then wait. Some of the quests will lock-in your character for few in-game days. Which means if you don't finish all your personal quests first, you risk failing them. It's really a weird design choice, especially since you still can use you companions normally, while they are solving a kingdom quest, just not your main character.
Then, there is the pacing issue. When you finish a chapter, you have some time to manage your kingdom and explore. Exploring is, like in many exploring-focused games, useful only at the start. After that, you'll encounter the same looking maps, same enemies and same loot. The loot was so weirdly distributed that I've used some weapons all the way from the first dungeon to the end of the game, because there just weren't better weapons of that kind for my characters. After a while, I didn't even bother with exploring everything, because what I got during the main game was enough. So, that's one part of the game that I don't really want to participate in during this time. The second is kingdom management. As I said before, there isn't really much substance to it too. You just click and wait. Sometimes, you don't have anything to click on. So you'll have to click "Skip a day" button. Yeah, there is a button that will skip one in-game day. That's just an atrocious idea. Instead of giving you any meaningful activities to spend your time in, the game let's you click one button until it allows you to continue. And it really is an issue. In one instance, I had to skip over 400 days until the game let me continue with the main story. For the final two chapters, I had to turn kingdom management on auto, because I would have to spend another in-game year clicking skipping button.
It's really a shame, because I think the story was fun. Not something world breaking, but nice little tabletop adventure. Same goes for characters, which I enjoyed quite a lot. I even managed to swap my party members a lot, not really having a set team of 6. I was afraid some of them will be annoying, like overly optimistic Linzi or her polar opposite Jaethal. But even them managed to convince me to like them. My favourites are Harrim, Valerie and Nok-Nok. Harrim had nice twist on the typical dwarf character, Nok-Nok was fun comedic relief and Valerie was one of the best Lawful Neutral character I've ever seen. The final dungeon forced me to shuffle the party one more time, so there was no time for stereotype to settle in. I've played as Wizard, an illusionist, and it worked fairly well. Illusionists are usually RP-heavy characters and doesn't work well in these linear environments, but I had fun with it. Especially illusions on higher levels were something I never tried before.
Which brings me to the pacing issue #2. The battle system. I hate the real-time-with-pause system of cRPGs. Who's idea was it? Who likes to watch two parties missing each other for 10 minutes, while they as player has 0 input in the game? It's not how battles in tabletop RPGs work. Luckily, I was able to switch to turn-based system and it was a little bit better, but I still encountered moment, where no hit would land for 10+ rounds. And especially by the end of the game, it was tiresome to fight low-level enemies in this mode, so I kept switching in and out of it. I'm the end, it was the best idea. I let the game solve easy fights for me, while I kept the harder fights and bossfights for myself. And it was great. I enjoyed most of the chapters and their respective bosses. The final bosses were a little bit predictable, but I don't think the game was aiming at some big shocking revelation, when it comes to them.
Overall, this game has a lot of good ideas and mechanics. But it will shove them down your throat to the point that you'll actively avoid them. When I turned down/ignored all side activities, I had a lot of fun with the game. Which is weird, but it's the result of your 25 hours long game taking 70 hours to finish. 8/10.
Fridge Floppers
Fridge Floppers is a 15 minutes physics-based game made in 48 hours. Which is impressive. The main goal is to move a fridge to a van, while controlling two movers carrying it. You can move them both at the same time or let one of them jump. But the fridge can't fall off.
There were about 5 levels of varying difficulty, just scratching the edge of all the possibilities. You barely get to experience the pain of climbing up and down a set of stairs before the game ends.
And there isn't really anything else to say. The art style is simple, yet nice and feels like a good fit for this game. The controls are easy to understand and hard(-ish) to master.
Overall, I wish there were more levels added to the game, because as I already said, I love the concept. 8/10.
Frog Detective 3
You might remember me excitingly talking about the previous two entries in this series. Ever since then, I was eagerly waiting for the final part of the trilogy. Only to completely miss the release. I only recently learned about it, while browsing Itch.io. I have no idea how could I miss it, but made sure to play it as soon as possible.
Frog Detective is the worthy finale of the series. It picks up exactly where the previous entry ended, but you're also served quick recap of previous games. The game plays exactly like the previous two games. You're let loose in a small area and have to solve a crime. This time, you're in Wild West-themed town and you're trying to find everyone's stolen hats. You're aided by Lobster Cop, who is supposedly #1 detective in this world. But is he really? The story is extremely silly and full of plot twists and surprises. I would never expect this game to surprise with its story.
The gameplay is simple and follows the same structure as the previous games. You talk with characters, find out what they need and what can they offer and then you start exchanging items with them until you get what you need. It's always clear what to do and especially after you talk with all characters, you're just following a linear path.
Overall, this is great way to end the series. I'll be looking forward next game from these devs. 9/10.
Mafia: Definitive Edition
While I've played the original Mafia (and its sequel) when I was younger, I never really joined in the cult that worship this game and its creator as second coming of christ. It was a great game, but the fanbase and its creator are a little bit crazy. And I think that's what turned me off the series for so long. I think the last time I've played Mafia was 10 years ago and it took me so long to get to this remake. Now, while I'm writing this, I know I had some kind of point to make in this paragraph, but I forgot what it was...
So, let's move on to the actual remake. I think it does a lot of things right. I like the re-imagining of the cutscenes, the added details and dialogues. The city looks amazing. It looks like it did in my imagination back in 2002. But it also introduced some not so great changes. It completely kills "Just for Relaxation" mission. It was one of the best mission in the original game, which let you tackle the problem your own way. It also made sense from narrative perspective and was grounded in reality like the rest of the game. Now, it's stupid boring forced linear stealth mission, that betrays Salieri's character and just makes everyone so unlikable and makes them act out of character. Plus, for some reason, there is still dialogue from the original that doesn't make sense in this new scenario. Luckily it's almost final mission of the game and it has no consequences on the rest of the missions.
The gameplay is pretty much the same as the original, only tweaked a little bit to match the modern standard. I like it. The original had more opened areas and let you handle missions your own way, but I didn't mind the more linear approach. It was annoying few times, because I was so used to completing certain mission certain way, but nothing to be mad about. Unlike the mission I talked above.
Overall, I think this remake is nice alternative to the original, but scratches completely different itches, so I don't think it's something to replace the original. 7.5/10.
Five Dates
Five Dates is interactive movie about dating during the time of corona.
And to be honest, there isn't really much to talk about. The gameplay is simple. You watch a movie and sometimes pick, where to take the story. There are 5 woman to date and each of them has really captivating personality and story. They didn't feel one-dimensional at all. I didn't expect it, but the game had great writing and was full of surprises. I decided to first tackle Saffron's storyline and when the credits started to roll, I was left with my mouth opened. I had to take few minutes to really grasp what just happened in the last few minutes. It was fun and it left me wanting more, so I returned and finish all storylines. The acting was enjoyable and I'll make sure to check more games from this studio. I've actually played their Late Shift back in 2017 and it's amazing how much they improved since then. I think it was from them.
And... that's pretty much it. It was cool short game, the acting was great, the dialogues, the characters and writing was fun, there was really big attention to details, despite each shot being just a character standing/sitting in front of webcam. 8/10.
For June, I'm playing Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous. I couldn't get enough of Kingmaker, despite it sometimes feeling really dragged out. But I know what settings to turn off or on to make the game more fun. The full version of HROT, Czech Boomer Shooter, was released, so I hope to get around to play it. And I hope to finish Total War: Three Kingdoms. And maybe make some progress with my Switch games. And I'll also try to put Call of the Sea somewhere in between them.

Dear James Workshop,
I hope this letter finds you in high spirits, surrounded by mountains of incredible miniatures and rivers of imagination. First and foremost, I would like to express my deepest admiration for the universe you've created and the joy you've brought to countless hobbyists like myself. Your commitment to delivering top-notch gaming experiences is truly commendable.
Now, before I delve into the crux of my humble request, I must confess that I am a devout worshiper of the mighty Leviathan and Contemptor Dreadnoughts. These towering behemoths have captured my heart and fueled my dreams on countless battlefields. I've spent hours painting and assembling these glorious models, pouring my heart and soul into every meticulous detail, only to see them rise to glory on the tabletop.
Imagine my dismay when I heard whispers in the warp about their impending removal from competitive play. My heart sank faster than a Terminator in a swamp. The mere thought of my cherished Dreadnoughts being sidelined is enough to make even a stoic Space Marine shed a single, solitary tear.
I implore you, dear James Workshop, please reconsider this dire course of action. Think of the Leviathans and Contemptors out there, waiting to unleash their fury upon unsuspecting foes. They've become icons of intimidation and sources of inspiration for many of us. Taking them away from the competitive arena would be like removing the thrill from a rollercoaster or the crunch from a bag of chips. It's simply unthinkable!
Perhaps we can find a middle ground, a way to balance the competitive scene while still allowing the awe-inspiring presence of Forge World models. After all, who wouldn't be filled with both terror and excitement when faced with a hulking dreadnought towering over their army? It adds an extra layer of strategic depth, like a chess game played with giants instead of mere pawns.
In closing, I beseech you to keep the spirit of fun, diversity, and downright awesomeness alive by allowing our beloved Forge World models to continue gracing the battlefield. The Leviathans and Contemptors are more than just miniatures; they are symbols of triumph, perseverance, and the dreams of countless hobbyists.
Thank you for your time, James. May the dice be forever in your favor, and may the Leviathans and Contemptors march on!
Sincerely and with a touch of dreadnought love,
A very sad gamer

Debut Thoughts

• Phase Invaders: Electric Boogaloo - Phase has decided to Rion Ron this and introduce three new designs from two former Tsunderia members and one popular indie. They seem to fit in well with the rest of the group and I'm getting a
• idolEN2 - There was some delay, but honestly Early June felt better than the end of May.
• Neuro-sama 2.0 - Not really a debut, but Neuro-sama feels like the antidote to all the AI nonsense. Neuro-sama might be the only good AI out there and Vedal will become god, I promise.
• VMirai - Brave Group has been recently expanding their reach, including a try in their EN department. I believe all three extant groups have been doing quite well in the last few months, so I'm curiously optimistic about the new projects. EN is a hard market though. Speaking of...

Cries of Crisis, Pangs of Hope

Fall of 2020 was the inflection point of Hololive, the series of crises and the pending restructuring along with the boom of HoloMyth then AREA15 gave an odd form of synergy that made Hololive one of the most robust companies that ever existed. As I said before, the greatest trick Cover has ever pulled is making that poster think 'Hololive is winning by doing nothing.'
To quote the words of Todd Howard - It Just Works.
Anycolor did not get that single time of epiphany. Not many companies do, but every long-standing termination (because I don't think Raito changed anything) has eventually led to great changes to the company as a whole. Meiro was thought to be the impetus for VTA, which has shown great dividends as we march on to 2023. Ara's rampage directly led to the Great Merger of '22 which was very beneficial at least to KR members who stuck around and some who haven't.
So it should be no surprise Zaion will also point the path to a positive direction for Anycolor, and I think we are seeing the benefits right now, with the coming news.
The fact that NijiEN management was terrible should be no surprise since at least the time of Ethyria, which I have talked at length, and will do again because it was instructive to what kind of failure of EN managment was back in '21/'22. Ethyria was billed as a singing group, kind of like LazuLight, there was an early attempt to do kind of ping-pong between singing and gaming, getting two new gen per audition, but Ethyria was not built to be just a singing group. They were just... too good for that.
Enna Alouette's design is one of the best 'gap' designs in the VTuber world, but with all the fiasco, I seriously wonder if the management just simply had no will to properly see through Enna's facade. Then again, Gibara exists, so I wonder if they just didn't care or did care.
Anyways, early fracas with Ethyria made an impression on me that only grew more true over the years that NijiEN management was oddly pessimistic about the nature of internet communities.
Sidenote - I made a comment about Selen's comment to a delusional poster and at the cost of being incredibly pretentious, it created an opportunity to talk about one of the many ways many observers get Nijisanji 'wrong' so to speak (and there are many reasons why)
One of the common refrains from NijiFans is that 'you should not be obliged to watch everyone', and people think it means that you are supposed to only focus on a few people, but that is not the case.
The point is to focus on all the people, some of the time. As in, you will naturally create a tier-list system of differing priorities in which to watch. At the center will be your oshi, who you will turn to every stream, then around it are their buddies, which you will watch some of the time, and then further around them will be the buddies' buddies, which you will watch once in a blue moon, and then further out you have people you know from tournaments and such and have vague understanding but still feel an appreciation for their talent and hard work.
With that framework, you will come away with at least passing familiarity with every Nijisanji member, at least to the point you can point to an arbitrary Liver and say 'hey, it's so-and-so'.
The whole structure of Nijisanji, which was thankfully copied onto EN with the help of Ethyria, is designed to dissuade people who equate Nijisanji with a monolith group. That's why I mock someone who thinks NijiEN is the only Nijisanji. The point of 'you should not watch everyone' is not to permit people from narrowing their vision but to stop the obsessive nature of EN viewing patterns entirely.
There is a tendency of individualization in the West that leads to high levels of toxicity, because individualization leads to narrowing of people's worldviews, leading to more clashes because you get a larger variation of interpretations of reality, which is actually not a good thing.
This is what should make Nijisanji more robust than Hololive, because Hololive permits more of this individualized obsession, although in truth Hololive has been focusing on integration a lot.
But that is not the case, because do you know who does not understand the sidenote I wrote above? That's right, the NijiEN management. The behavior NijiEN management team did was very much copied from a flawed idea of what they thought made HoloEN and others successful. The narrow focus on 'content' from each gen, from the idea of PuchiLuxiem, to the rapid disinterest in people like Yugo and the great mistake of hiring someone like Zaion, and the slow pacing of allowing foreign collabs.
NijiEN betrayed what made Nijisanji great and it has slowly and surely costed them.
Back in May, I emphasized the off-hand remark that said they merged the oversea management with the local one. I believe this was the easiest and best way to combat this problem. It's like NijiEN is operating abroad, unlike HoloEN, so there is no need to bring people in or hire new people.
And the fruits of this secret merger is coming out with more JP content on the EN official channel and invitation of JP members in Canada, France and Korea, with former Korean members finally attending a convention and also return of former ID people to Muse Indonesia as well. It seems the clock is working again and I believe the things might turn around for the foreign branches... who knows? Maybe ID and KR might be revived and we might get that ID/KR audition after all.
But that is a far stretch, honestly most of it is. But that is par for the course for here, eh?

I ignored most If the advice online and just started in World Tier 2 with a fully specced Minion necro. I am 35 so far and without dying once.
Until 15-20 it felt kinda rough and the Minions kept dying a lot, so they were mostly there to Tank and most of my damage still came from bone spear.
How having invested a bit more into Minion skills even in World Tier 2 they barely die and with every Boss in this levelrange my Minions never completely wiped and i compared the damage to a full bone spear build and the Overall damage is fairly similar, burst damage with Minions is much higher for mey since i have the Army of the dead = Attack Speed legendary.
I feel much tankier aswell with Minions compared to bone spear because my golem takes 15% of my damage and they Facetank a lot of projectiles that i would otherwise take
Ofc it is only level 35 and it does not mean that they are late Game viable, but If people like Minion builds in general you should give them a Shot during leveling ^{^}

since i can remember my biological father was abusive and narcissistic, he hid behind his religion to act as if he was a pious man. he would use emotional blackmail when ever I didn't meet his standards. he would use it in the form of deals without empathy regarding the person and the situations they were in. example, my grandmother died and he wanted me to go to the college he chose and do the classes he wanted me to do, (i wanted to be a Detective for SVU so i could help catch monsters, and actually before that i had many ambitions he would put down and disregard) he would try rewriting history with any new person in his life as if he never beat or cheated on my mother. there is a lot of messed up and detestable things he has done causing my mother, grandmother, aunt, grandfather and myself to have trauma.

1. tried to forcefully keep my mother and me by showing up with a gun at my grandparents, police had to be called and there are reports that we have copies of, I was only a year old at the time.

2.he had lost custody of me when i was 5, due to over whelming evidence of his wrong doings but before that still had joint custody. so when i was living with my grandparents (between16-21 for more personal reasons). I wasn't wanting to talk with him or do as i was told, he used the old custody paperwork to get the cops to forcefully take me from my grandparents ( i was lucky i had been out with friends) but my grandmother who had tried being on his side until the bitter end was brutalized by cops when she approached him and asked him "why not find a better way? Why do this?" he claimed that she had his him hard enough to cause damage to his face but there was nothing wrong with him. for almost a year my grandmother didn't remember who any of us was because of the cop and him. it was the hardest time for our family. he lost his case when he kept trying to take me. my aunt put a restraining order on him to keep him away from me but it didn't last.
those are just two of the many things he had done or caused.
his mother, i loved her unconditionally until now. i never realized how she used my love for her to manipulate me into feeling like i had no choice but to keep him in my life. (don't get me wrong i tried as i was growing up to cute ties with him but the adults at the time would say "that's your father" "get to know him to make your choice" just cause they didn't want him or myself to think they kept us from each other not realizing I was already aware of what he was truly like. that i was saying i didn't want to see him because i meant it. But my grandmother, his mother made me make a promise that i would let him have a chance to be in my life and possibly be a good grandfather someday.. she died a few weeks later and i had held onto that promise out of obligation for her like a idiot .
over and over i was treated like a possession in the most passive aggressive ways. he tries to force his religion down my throat and then expects me to smile. he would send letters/Emails and contradict himself a lot, I thought I was losing my mind reading all of them over the years. Because he would talk about loving me and being proud and then immediately talk shit in a formal way. Then spent any and all response letters not addressing me and just going “let’s agree to disagree, I love you although you’re gonna go to hell for not listening to me” when ever i stood my ground and would confront him.
his most resent Emails were enough, i finally reached my breaking point and the out come of me standing up for myself was the same so i sent him one last Email in response and blocked him from everything i had him on.
i don't want his ideology poisoning my son, who is only 4years old. i don't want my son seeing his mother being treated as if she was a possession or had no right to boundaries or autonomy. i don't want to be involved with someone who is a source of pain and trauma anymore. i don't care anymore if this is something my grandmother wouldn't forgive me for or would turn over in her grave for. i just want to have a healthy and happy life with my family. the real dad who raised me with true love and respect though i wasn't his blood, being seen as my sons true grandfather on my side, as a male figure to look up to, and as a healthy guide for what a father daughter relationship should be, incase my son has a daughters of his own one day.
and if my toxic bio father ever finds this....GET SOME THEROPY, TALKING ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL AND LOVING YOU ARE AND THAT DOING AS YOU PLEASE AND SAYING AS YOU PLEASE TO YOUR CHILDREN IS YOUR RIGHT EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T RAISE ANY OF US DUE TO YOUR OWN ACTIONS. STOP BEING DELULU. YOU NARCISSISTIC CHERRY PICKING RELIGIOUS PSYCHO!

Hello all! I have been playing ttrpgs for around 4, almost 5 years now and despite being in many different diverse groups I've never had any horror stories to share. Now, I have at least one minor one.
People involved are myself(female, because it unfortunately matters), DM, Rogue, Ranger, Fighter, Bard and Witch. This is a Pathfinder 2nd Edition game.
Most of my experience has been with 5e, and I hadn't really touched any other system. So, when everything went south with Wizards of the Coast and the OGL and Pinkertons, I decided to branch out and try other systems. That is when I managed to find a group for Pathfinder! I was excited to learn the system, so as soon as I was in, I started reading the core rulebook and listening to videos on the rules of the game.
The initial party consisted of everyone but Witch(she would join later). DM proclaims he has about 3 years experience running 5e games, but is new to Pathfinder himself. No big deal, it seems all of us are new, with Rogue and Ranger being brand new to ttrpgs. We'll learn the system together. Things start off somewhat okay, with a skirmish between two sides, with players split between the two factions. Combat is very basic and everything dies in a single hit, without really attacking us directly. We do discover that Bard's character is... Well, the best way to describe him was a flamboyant gay elf, using a stereotypical gay voice and cadence, who ran from the battle at the first sign of trouble. That was... Off-putting, but it was whatever.
We cleared the encounter, and one side clearly won. My character was actually knocked unconscious, but was picked up and carried by another player of the opposing faction, Fighter. We then all eventually stumbled across a large dragon man, basically a Dragonborn, who breathed lightning, and had a huge axe and plate armor. When we fought him, all at lvl 1, still worn out from the last battle. Almost no one could hit his AC, and he nearly downed half the party before we managed to win. I later found out that the DM just used a level 3 player stat block for this guy, and buffed his HP, which I know in 5e, at least, is a bad idea.
After this, the DM had a shady NPC show up out of nowhere and invite us to come along with him. This was the first sign that the DM wasn't very good at roleplaying, or at least doing so in a convincing way. But, this was the plot hook, so we all went with it. The DM then showed off their inexperience again when we were offered a mission from this NPC, and Rogue asked some pretty softball questions about why we'd want to work with them. As an aside, rogue's backstory involved working with criminals, and these guys were like rebels against the empire who invaded the city.
Either way, we had to go to an auction house to buy a magical item. We were given 50 gold to buy the item, and this was where the DM displayed their inability to describe rooms to us. The description was very bland, and didn't paint much of a picture for us. He also didn't really do many voices, so it was difficult to tell if an NPC was talking, or if it was the DM out of character. Regardless, we found the item we needed, placed bids and got into a bidding war with a noble. For whatever reason, this makes the bard decide to set off a... Distraction, by trying to cast a spell on the noble to charm them, to which they roll a 37 to resist. We are level 2, by the way. This leads to bard's backup plan.
Bard lights and shoots off fireworks in the auction house, causing the entire roof to cave in and severely injure most of us. Rogue did manage to snatch the item, and slip away along with Ranger. Bard ran down the street escaping the guards, and myself and fighter just stood around in disbelief, because up until that point, we had all blended in without issue. There was no reason for such a huge commotion. We stayed and the noble spoke to us, but we talked our way out of it, Fighter being the type from a military/mercenary background, and myself being a local farm girl.
Eventually, we all met up, and in between sessions, the entire group agrees to kick Bard for playing a blatant caricature and being chaotic stupid. He also talked over and interrupted people a lot, and really tried to push his luck with every ruling. And, before we returned to the quest NPC, we got a new player, Witch, who immediately rubbed myself and Fighter the wrong way because she was playing an older, grandmother type, character who... No matter what you said... She knew more than you, or at least as much as you.
Once we got back to the quest NPC, we were paid for the job, and given the option of taking other quests. We did one on an island, it was a poorly narrated place with a simple puzzle that everyone kind of overcomplicated. Typical rpg stuff. Then another, where we got to see Ranger awkwardly flirt with an NPC as a distraction. He was terrible at it, and we all had a great laugh.
I should point out that in each of these sessions we played, DM usually sounded very unprepared, even when we were doing what was clearly intended. He also frequently showed that he was not doing anything to learn the system between sessions. He'd make the same mistakes each week, forget how many actions his NPCs have taken, or even how saves and checks work, frequently using passives, instead of opposed checks. It was frustrating, because we had two brand new players to TTRPGs and we were all new to the game. Yet, it was Fighter and myself, and occasionally Witch as her know-it-all trait wasn't character specific, who were explaining the rules. I even had to correct him on crits once, because he said the number on the attack roll, even with 20, was below the AC. He argued until I showed him the ruling, and he then changed to saying he knew how it worked. Apparently not.
I digress... In game, we did another mission that resulted in our party being ambushed by the noble we had seen at the auction house. The party was then split on motives, as the Witch felt this guy was evil and refused to change her mind, while he told my character he could help her find her biological mother(she was adopted, and there was a lot of familiarities between him and her). Other than what Witch felt about him, and that he was a noble from the invading kingdom, we had no real reason not to trust him. Well, once we were released and able to discuss things, and no matter what anyone did in trying to convince Witch to work with noble, she refused without giving any explanation in or out of character. She just didn't like the guy because of where he was from.
The session ended without us having chosen a side, and we were poised to visit with the noble the next day. The morning of that day, during the next session, Fighter couldn't make it, so we said he went off to talk to someone from his back story, and we went shopping. Rogue got herself a crossbow and Ranger helped teach her how to use it. We then went to a local restaurant my character frequently went to with her adoptive father. This was a fun opportunity for my character to kind of talk about her childhood a bit, how important family is, and some stuff about her dad. When we got there, the Ranger asked what he should order, and my character recommended this huge, expansive breakfast, and I even made up a name for it, the "Hungry Farmers Breakfast" and added that her father proclaimed to have been the first to order it and even named it. Cue our Witch chiming in to say he lied, because this dish is served all across the land. She's eaten it at tons of places.
Now, it's worth mentioning that I had brought it up to DM multiple times that Witch has a know-it-all, one-up whatever you say, personality, and that it really detracts from what others can do. He's said he talked to her about it, and nothing has changed despite that. This, for me, was the last straw. I called her out, and said for her to let us come up with unique character development that we want, and to not steal the wind from our sails. I might have been a bit rude about it, but it was a repeated issue that had yet to be resolved. Witch tried to defend what she said by comparing it to stuff in real life, like from chain restaurants, and I had to point out that they don't tend to have chain restaurants in fantasy worlds, and that this place was specifically a local place.
After that, Witch got quiet and the DM ended the session an hour early because he had stuff to do, and Witch was apparently feeling sick. Supposedly unrelated to being called out. I talked to Rogue and Ranger, and neither of them thought I was out of line, and were sort of feeling the same way about how she was acting. I messaged DM the next day about it, and he promised he'd talk to her again.
I waited a few days, and the Discord server was quiet, and I messaged DM, asking if they had heard back from Witch since they messaged her, and he said he hadn't. He then told me, absolutely out of the blue, that he had a dream of me, that I was holding a baby, and he and I went on a walk together. I... Had never had the misfortune of hearing something like this before, and just promptly tried to change the subject. Fortunately, he went with the change and we talked a bit about Pathfinder stuff. Now, DM knows I'm married, I live in a different country than him, and that I'm... Around 10 years older than him. So, I was very confused as to why he would ever say anything like that to me.
We skipped the next session because two players couldn't make it, and during this time, I asked a lot of people IRL, and in other ttrpg games I'm in about the situation, showing screenshots of the conversation so they had, verbatim, what he said. Everyone, guys and gals, thought it was either super weird, or outright creepy as heck. I agreed, and decided that this would be the last nail in the coffin. Poor descriptions, bad roleplay, terrible rulings, no enthusiasm during actual sessions and suggestions of introducing broken critical failure rules, like permanent injuries or dismemberment into a game with total ttrpg newbies ON TOP of this guy also dreaming about me with a baby. I was done.
I wrote the DM a length explanation, told him how creepy it was, and that I'd be leaving. Wished him well, and waited for his response. To his credit, he didn't explode. But, he did say that I was overreacting because what he said wasn't explicitly sexual or romantic, and so I shouldn't take it that way. Yeah, I'll just take my friend's advice, where she said he was testing the waters with the dream stuff. I told the group I was leaving, without context outside of things just weren't for me. Wished them well.
When I left, Rogue, Ranger and Fighter all stayed in touch and wanted to play more games with me. DM, on the other hand, decided to air out everything that he and I said, sharing screenshots of the conversation and... Yeah. Rogue and Ranger were both kind of shocked by it. Rogue said it was none of her business, and agreed that DM was a creep. Ranger was a bit more forgiving about the dream stuff, but was also offput by the airing of dirty laundry. Fighter left when I did, so he didn't see it.
Tldr: Joined a Pathfinder 2e game where the DM went from incompetent and underwhelming, to really creepy, alongside a player who glorified a gay stereotype, and another who wouldn't let anyone have any cool moment, because she had apparently experienced everything in life, and it was better than whatever you did.
Glad to be out of that group, and now I have Fighter, Rogue and Ranger in a group that I and Fighter take turns DMing one shots in until we can find someone who would like to be a DM for us on a longer form adventure.
All in all, far from the worst horror story, but still an interesting little rollercoaster. I hope you enjoyed this. Sorry if it was a long read.

If you have insurance/can afford it, you can get on PEP. Every hour counts, so even if you’re unsure of your partners status or they didn’t finish or whatever the case may be, if you are unsure this is the safest bet.
Plus it beats six weeks of stress. I’ve had two scares, in one I waited to get tested and it was terrible as I’m sure you know. I stressed myself out so much I actually exhibited the acute symptoms which made me freak out more. I got on PrEP right after. This time my pharmacy couldn’t get my prescription to me in time and the condom broke. I wasted no time getting to the ER and immediately I feel 100x better.
Next, if you have a scare and you end up negative, don’t forget how it feels. Get on PrEP, use condoms, do what you have to. If not, it’s not the end of the world, you still can live a long and healthy life. HIV is not a death sentence anymore.
Lastly, if you’re posting about a scare, PLEASE consider where you are posting. People who have been diagnosed with this are members on here and lately I’m seeing more scare posts than not. I know how scared you are, but try not to say things like “my life is over” or “I’m gonna kms” because the truth is for a lot of people the stigma is worse than the disease. Remember many people are living healthy normal lives with HIV and you saying that kind of stuff, while it might be your truth, is not appropriate in this sub. Because however you’re feeling now, I promise it’s much harder for those with an actual diagnosis. Thank you for reading if you got this far.
tldr: odds are you’re gonna be fine. Just make sure you know what steps you need to take. And BE RESPECTFUL

Hi all,
Recently i've discovered that I have had GAD all my life (fortunately not severe) and I haven't told my family about this.
After some observation, I noticed that an older family member also exhibits traits of anxiety. It seems to me that they have it worse than me.
My goals are:

1. inform the family member that I have GAD that is under control so they won't worry about me
2. inform the family member that they show very similar traits and that I am concerned and hopethat they will make an effort to make the circumstances better for themselves.
3. teach them how to cope with it and live a better life. The DARE book by Barry McDonagh hashelped me immensely and I think it would help them too. Sadly there isn't a translation available in our language. I would be happy to guide them but I want to do it the right way.

I come from a culture in which mental health issue is still somewhat a stigma, though fortunately our family isn't the most conservative. However, the family member can be a bit sensitive towards these kinds of comments. I want to inform them about their traits as nicely as possible, and potentially show them the DARE book which unfortunately does not have a translation in our language.