Race Information
Name: Newport Oregon Marathon
Date: June 3, 2023
Distance: 26.2 miles
Location: Newport, OR
TIME: 3:28:xx
Goals/ Description/ Completed?
A: Pace the first half of the 3:30 group to a 1:44 half. YES
B: Hang with the group until 18 or 20 miles. YES
C: Have a ton of fun and help people run their best marathon! YES.
D: Smile and be positive for everyone around me. YES.
Training: I didn't really train to run this race. I volunteered to pace the first half about 3 weeks before race day. My HM PR from earlier this year is 1:31'ish, so pacing a 1:44 half seemed totally reasonable for my existing triathlon training. I had a triathlon to finish, then switched to only running to figure out my pace and get ready. I hit 50+ miles for two weeks with an 18 mile long run at my 8:00/mile goal pace. It all went well. I tossed in a taper week with only 20 miles and a bunch of easy'ish swimming to stay active.
Pre Race: I didn't volunteer until the last minute so by the time I looked for a cheap hotel for the night they were all gone. I wasn't in the mood to spend $400 for a night to volunteer to run, so I decided to stay in my camper in some random parking lot and hope for the best. I drove the 2.5 hours from my house to the race location Friday afternoon. Got my packet. Scouted the course. Found a covert 'camp site' near the finish line. Went for a walk. Had dinner. Put my feet up and rested. Saturday morning I was up at 5am to eat my standard oatmeal and donut prerace meal. Caught the bus to the starting line at 5:50am and was ready! Meet the other pacers at the starting line, got our pacer shirts and pace signs. Chatted a bit. Froze for a while, it was maybe 45F, then started to line up.
Race: Race started right on time at 7am. I had only talked with a few people who were going for 3:30 - so I had no idea what size group I'd be leading. First mile went too fast at 7:45, but we settled in by 2 miles with a group of about 12 people. Mile 2 was on pace. Mile 3 had a steep down hill section and we ran that one at 7:30. There is a slight uphill at 4 miles, then a slight down hill, but then flat from 5-25. By mile 6 we were back on pace at 7:56-7:59 miles. My goal was to get everyone to the 13.1 aid station for the trade to the next pacer with a 1 minute buffer. The miles went by easy and the group stayed together pretty well through 10 miles.
We started to drop a few people around 10 miles, but hit 13.1 with maybe 10 people. We hit the mid point at 1:43:45, so pretty close to my plan. I had not calculated in a full 30 second drop from the big downhill, but it wasn't hard running, so I kept it as buffer and didn't slow up. I passed the pacer sign to another guy at 13.1 but planned to stay with the group past the turn around at 15 miles and probably drop at the 18 or 20 mile aid station. But at some point I decided to stick on the hip of a couple guys that I thought could really make it to 3:30 with some help. We lost a few more from the group at 18'ish. And by 20 we were down to 5 people. When we past the 20 mile mark I told the guys I'd see them to the finish and committed to running it all the way. So much for an easy workout...
We were holding our pace almost perfectly at 7:56-7:59 from 15-20 and the second half pacer for our group was killing it. He was super positive, coaching, cheering, talking, distracting, tour guiding, etc. He was great.
We lost a few more around 20 miles and I decided to stick to one guy and help him make it. I started talking and motivating more. Encouraging more. Trying to get him to stay hydrated as best as possible at each aid station. But he was starting to get to his limit. Another guy dropped from the group at 21'ish/ But we gained person around this time.
My guy started to struggle at mile 22 and we started to drop off the pace, I stayed with him as the main pacer was doing his work at the front of the group. We lost some time each mile. But still were running strong. We came into the last aid station and he got some water, but couldn't get going again. He was really struggling, but I thought he could make. I stopped and cheered him on and got him to run up to me. We kept going for a little while longer, but his pace turned really slow and BOOM! he hit the wall at 25.25. Like instant walking, not talking, struggling hard. In the moment I made the wrong decision and just encouraged and tried to get him going. I should have grabbed him and started walking with him. But I didn't... I waited and waited and then kept running. Uffhhh. Tough to even type two days later. I then put down a quick sprint to catch the other 3:30 pacer (my best mile of the race) and we finished together. 90 seconds under our goal time with an almost perfect 1:45 second half.
My guy walked in about 7 minutes later and was helped straight to the med tent. Ugghhh. On me for pushing him? On me for not staying with him? Anyway - he ended up OK in the end and finished and can say that he really did push himself beyond his limits! I saw a bunch of the other original group finish and we took pictures and smiled and enjoyed the moment.
It was super fun, super rewarding to help other people push hard and finish, kind of weird to cross the finish line of a race and not need to sit down in fear of falling over. My personal hydration and nutrition plan worked great. I was feeling good at the end and was still able to cheer and encourage the whole way. I'd volunteer to do it again. The race was super well organized, weather was amazing, support was good, pacer group was a bunch of great guys and far more talented runners than myself.
Post Race: All the pacer took some group photos, then we went over to the after party and had snacks, clam chowder, some drank beers, chatted and enjoyed the amazing weather. I made the drive home and stopped for a burrito the size of one of my shoes and ate the whole thing with zero guilt. I am sore and stiff today, but far better than yesterday morning. I figure an easy run on Wednesday and I'll start getting back after it.
Summary: If you have the time and energy consider being a pacer! It was way more fun than I thought it might be. I didn't plan to run the whole thing, but I got caught up in the moment and really wanted to see 'my guys' finish! I ended up running a marathon smiling and happy and cheering, and not 100% trashed at the end. Crazy times!

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After months of working, the only thing everybody wants is a relaxing holiday. This is the time when one wants nothing more than to unwind and have fun. The challenge of planning the perfect vacation is narrowing down the options from among the many stunning tourist destinations. However, picking a fantastic destination is only one part of the process of organizing a trip.
The selection of a suitable cheap Airbnb Fort Lauderdale FL, taking into account factors such as location, desired amenities, and cost, is an essential element of any vacation preparation. While hotels have always been a popular option, these short-term rentals are quickly gaining popularity among travellers.
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Luxury Airbnb condo fort Lauderdale have everything from full kitchens to movie theaters, saunas to hot tubs, fireplaces to books, and gardens to security systems. Cleaning services, food delivery, catering, and even laundry facilities are available at certain vacation rentals. Private golf courses and fitness centers may be made available by some property managers and owners.
The vast majority of vacation homes are found in convenient proximity to the city’s most visited attractions. Visitors to these rental properties will appreciate their convenient central placement. Fort Lauderdale short-term rental is like having a second home right in the middle of the action at your favourite place.
Vacation rental sites accept credit card bookings safely, or you can contact the owner or manager personally. If you’re seeking for a bespoke service, expert rental managers can help you find what you need. Last-minute and off-season bookings may also qualify for special prices. You should always choose a luxury Airbnb Fort Lauderdale.
Here are a few things to think about when booking a rental property for your next vacation:

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Popular wedding venues in the western and central states were featured in Part 1 of US wedding venues. So in part two, we'll focus on wedding venues in the eastern states. Whether it's a luxurious hotel, a rustic barn, or a spacious meadow, all are included. Again, the features of these venues and the approximate prices will be written. Let's explore these beautiful wedding venues!

Wisconsin Wedding Venues

The Paine Art Center and Gardens

This is an art museum located at 1410 Algoma Blvd, Oshkosh. It is an English-style country estate and has nearly four acres of gardens. It has perennial plants and is a great outdoor ceremony venue. Also, there is a historic mansion, charming carriage house, and greenhouse. The venue can accommodate up to 200 people and costs approximately $3000 to $4000 For 100 Guests.

The Lageret

This is a professional event venue located at 515 E Main St, Stoughton. This historic venue offers industrial and rustic charm with exposed brick walls, high ceilings, and wood beams. It has ample space for ceremonies and receptions. The venue offers event coordination, customizable lighting options, a bridal suite, and access to preferred vendors. Accommodations for up to 250 people start at $3,500 for a 12-hour rental.

The Enchanted Barn

Located at 1543 6 1/2 Ave, Hillsdale, this barn has an old-world rustic atmosphere around every corner. Featuring several indoor and outdoor venues, one of the most popular ceremony locations is located in Barn's upper-level Hayloft, featuring old wood timbers. Several wedding package options are available here and can accommodate up to 220 people. Off-season all-inclusive wedding packages are $5,000 plus $21 per person.

Illinois Wedding Venues

Danada House

This is a historic mansion located at 3S501 Naperville Rd, Wheaton. a short drive from Chicago. The mansion is also surrounded by a forest preserve that allows for nature-filled photos. There are seven ceremony locations in total, and the largest Magnolia Garden can accommodate up to 300 guests. Venue rentals start at $3,500.

The Morton Arboretum

This is a public nature garden and outdoor museum located at 4100 IL-53, Lisle. Inside there are not only mature trees and flowers but also a playground for children. Offering beautiful woodland and lakeside views. The large garden has a total of 12 venues to choose from and the largest room can accommodate up to 300 guests. Prices range from $600 to $9,000 depending on the size of the room and the time of year it is held.

Salvage One

Located at 1840 W Hubbard St, Chicago, this is a very unique location that serves as a store besides being a wedding venue. It preserves treasured furniture from the past. This old Chicago warehouse offers an enchanting vintage atmosphere. The ceremony and banquet space can accommodate about 200 people and space rentals start at $4,000.

Kentucky Wedding Venues

The Barn at Cedar Grove

The address is 1000 Brockman Keltner Rd, Greensburg, which has a rustic barn setting with picturesque scenery. Offering outdoor ceremony space, climate-controlled reception space, bridal suite, groom's quarters, and fire pit. The venue in the barn can accommodate up to 230 people. For fewer guests, the average budget for a wedding here is between $6,000 and $9,000.

The Brown Hotel

This 100-year-old hotel is located at 335 W Broadway, Louisville. The hotel has a striking Georgian Revival look and offers elegant ballrooms, luxurious accommodations, and a gorgeous rooftop garden. The hotel also has extensive experience in hosting weddings of different cultures, such as Jewish and Indian weddings. Prices are $18,000 in the off-season and can accommodate up to 300 guests.

Talon Winery & Vineyards

This winery has a large outdoor space at 7086 Tates Creek Rd, Lexington. Offers vineyard and winery backdrop, outdoor ceremony space, and rustic barn. The best part is the wine-tasting and vineyard tours. The venue can accommodate up to 250 guests and prices for ceremonies start at $1500.

Tennessee Wedding Venues

Butterfly Hollow

Located at 28 Bussell Rd, Gordonsville, our vacation accommodations are perfect for small weddings. Surrounded by scenic walking trails, mountains, and woods. This venue specializes in small weddings of 30 people or less, with a focus on an intimate and cozy experience. Wedding packages range from $1795 to $5000.

Dixon Gallery and Gardens

An art gallery on 17 acres of gardens located at 4339 Park Ave, Memphis, offers a romantic and artistic setting for weddings. The gallery offers two indoor reception venues as well as woodlands and gardens, both of which can accommodate up to 200 guests. Prices are approximately $4000 to $5000 For 100 guests.

The Bell Tower

The Bell Tower, located at 400 4th Ave S, Nashville, is almost 140 years old. The ballroom features large windows that provide plenty of natural light, creating a charming and historic setting for weddings. There are two floors beside the lobby. Seated dinners for up to 400 people range from $3,500 to $16,000 depending on time and venue.

Mississippi Wedding Venues

The Cedars

The site at 4145 Old Canton Rd, Jackson is the oldest residential building in Jackson, with a history of 175 years. The courtyard in front of the house with trees such as cedar, oak, and magnolia provides a natural backdrop for weddings. The venue can accommodate up to 300 people and costs $3,500 for a two-day weekend rental.

Dunleith Historic Inn

A National Historic Landmark located at 84 Homochitto St, Natchez, the mansion features Greek Revival columns and original pine floors. The event space has a main floor, courtyard, and South Lawn, which can accommodate up to 700 people. Wedding packages start at $6,500, not including catering.

The Gin at Flora Station

The address is 4819 MS-22, Flora. The refurbished cotton gin blends rustic charm with modern amenities. It offers indoor and outdoor spaces, including a covered gazebo and a patio with an old-fashioned truck bar. Rentals for ceremonies and receptions start at $3,500.

Alabama Wedding Venues

B&A Warehouse

This building, located at 1531 1st Ave S, Birmingham, is historic from the outside. With its industrial-inspired design and high ceilings along with red brick walls. Three indoor venues can accommodate up to 300 guests, and the cost of a ceremony starts at $4,000.

The Sterling Castle

This castle is located at 389 Deseret Dr, Shelby, and has been voted the best wedding venue in Alabama. The fairytale-style castle, elegant ballroom, charming courtyard, and lakeside and drawbridge venues. This beautiful venue can accommodate up to 300 guests and all-inclusive weddings are priced at $10,000+.

Huntsville Museum of Art

This is an art museum located at 300 Church St SW, Huntsville. With unique indoor and outdoor spaces, the museum is a contemporary art gallery. Offering outdoor spaces with a rooftop terrace, and five indoor hospitality venues. The starting venue fee for a wedding reception in high season is $1,500.

Michigan Wedding Venues

Colony Club Detroit

Located at 2310 Park Ave, Detroit, this Georgian-style, historic venue features stunning architecture and gorgeous interiors. The hotel features a grand ballroom decorated with crystal chandeliers and intricate details. The ballroom can accommodate up to 350 guests and is priced between $12,000 and $15,000.

Castle Farms

This historic building, built in 1918, is located at 5052 M-66, Charlevoix. With a total of four site combinations in the summer. It offers several ceremony and reception spaces, including a charming outdoor garden and a majestic stone courtyard. The largest of these, the East Garden and Queen's Courtyard can host up to 300 guests. And the price range is between $6,750 and $9,250.

The Inn at Stonecliffe

This is a Victorian village located at 8593 Cudahy Cir, Mackinac Island. away from the hustle and bustle of the area. With beautiful gardens and breathtaking views of Lake Huron and the Mackinaw Bridge. Accommodates up to 300 people and prices range from $4000 to $10,000.

Ohio Wedding Venues

Franklin Park Conservatory

This is a horticultural and educational institution located at 1777 E Broad St, Columbus. The most popular venue is the indoor garden with an all-glass ceiling. Besides, there is an industrial-style venue and a 200-year-old barn. The venue has plenty of space and can accommodate up to 500 people, with prices ranging from $7,000 to $11,000 for a wedding of 100 guests.

The Columbus Athenaeum

The historic building at 32 N 4th St, Columbus, was built in 1899. With a total of ten venues to choose from, the Grand Ballroom boasts gorgeous details and a stunning atrium. It is decorated with classical Greek art as well as soaring ornate ceilings. It can accommodate up to 230 guests. Prices for receptions start at $3,000.

Gervasi Vineyard

An oversized wine estate located at 1700 55th St NE, Canton. Picturesque vineyard setting and sparkling lake views. The open-air venue can accommodate up to 300 people, while the indoor venue can accommodate up to 120 guests. Full-service event planning, vineyard tours, and wine tastings are available. Prices for receptions will start at $1,450.

Georgia Wedding Venues

Barnsley Resort

This resort is located at 597 Barnsley Gardens Rd NW, Adairsville. With over 3,000 acres of land, it is a historic southern estate. With lush gardens, luxurious cabins, and grounds that can accommodate up to 250 people. Three wedding packages are available: $275 per person, $320 per person, and $350 per person. And a least of 150 people is required.

Summerour Studio

This is a renovated warehouse located at 409 Bishop St NW, Atlanta. The roof is supported by massive bow trusses, which allow for a spacious, open floor plan without columns or supports. Through a wall of windows running the length of the space, there are breathtaking views of Atlantic Station and the downtown skyline. Accommodating up to 425 people, prices start at $4,000.

The Biltmore Ballrooms

The ballroom is located at 817 W Peachtree St NW 208, Atlanta, and was established in 1924. The ballroom features a handcrafted plaster relief ceiling, ornate crystal lighting, and a marble floor. Capacity ranges from 50 to 1,500 people and offers eleven caterers. Rental rates range from $3,500 to $5,000, depending on the day of the week.

Florida Wedding Venues

The Ancient Spanish Monastery

Located at 16711 W Dixie Hwy, North Miami Beach. This monastery was dismantled piece by piece from northern Spain and shipped to the United States, then rebuilt over 19 months. It offers a chapel and gardens for ceremonies. The garden can accommodate up to 300 guests for $6,500 and includes only the cost of the reception.

The Breakers Palm Beach

This is a luxury resort located at 1 S County Rd, Palm Beach. This luxury resort is located in Palm Beach and enjoys magnificent beachfront views, lush gardens, and an exquisite ballroom. It boasts a timeless and elegant ambiance. It can host weddings for a maximum of less than 500 people, and detailed prices need to be communicated with the hotel.

The Ringling Museum

The museum is located at 5401 Bay Shore Rd, Sarasota, with a breathtaking view of Sarasota Bay. This venue offers unique views of art, culture, and the stunning waterfront. It includes many event spaces, including a large courtyard and an elegant ballroom. The largest art gallery courtyard can accommodate up to 125 guests and prices start at $20,000.

New York Wedding Venues

Mohonk Mountain House

Located at 1000 Mountain Rest Rd, New Paltz, this historic resort is surrounded by 40,000 acres of pristine forest. Featuring a majestic Victorian castle with panoramic mountain views. Choose from lakeside, garden, and mountain views for your ceremony. Wedding packages range from $275 to $375 per person.

The Foundry

The address is 42-38 9th Street, Long Island City, with a history dating back to the 19th century. Offering an industrial chic atmosphere, a garden courtyard and conservatory, a stunning main space, plus rustic interiors. Accommodates up to 180 guests, with receptions starting at $14,000.

The Garrison

Estate at 2015 US-9, Garrison, with superb Hudson River views and Catskill Mountain views. The venue offers a modern ballroom, outdoor ceremony space, and golf course. The venue can accommodate up to 200 guests for $12,000.

Pennsylvania Wedding Venues

The Curtis Atrium

The historic building at 699 Walnut St, Philadelphia used to be the Curtis Publishing Company. It is now a building with a mix of residential, office, and retail space. It features a stunning atrium, marble columns, and a stunning rotunda. Space rentals start at $8,000.

The Cork Factory Hotel

This boutique hotel is located at 480 New Holland Ave 3000, Lancaster, a converted historic cork mill with exposed brick walls. Offering industrial charm and modern amenities. The venue has a ballroom, a terrace, and a 2,300-square-foot warehouse. Space is available for up to 200 guests, and wedding packages start at $7,000.

Terrain Gardens at Devon Yard

A stunning garden is located at 138 W Lancaster Ave Suite 130, Devon. The venue is decorated with elements such as reclaimed barn wood floors, raised holiday lights, and skylights to create a unique aesthetic. Of course, there is an essential gardening setting and open-air venue that can accommodate up to 140 guests. Prices for receptions start at $4,525.

West Virginia Wedding Venues

Stonewall Resort

The entire resort is nestled beside a tranquil lake at 940 Resort Drive Roanoke, a place of scenic beauty and rustic charm. Wedding venues are available on the lakeside lawn or in the courtyard, with an indoor grand hall and stone-walled ballroom. Spa services, golf courses, and entertainment can also be experienced with wedding packages ranging from $3,500 to $12,000.

The Greenbrier

A luxury resort located at 101 W Main St, White Sulphur Springs. With stunning architecture, beautiful gardens, and breathtaking mountain views. The indoor venue has a dramatic chandelier and stage. The outdoor grounds feature expansive lawns and rustic cabins. Packages start at $10,000 and vary depending on the number of guests, season, and customization.

Sleepy Hollow Golf Club

The Club at 3780 Sleepy Hollow Dr, Hurricane. It is a private golf club for families. Featuring a scenic golf course, elegant ballroom, outdoor lawn ceremony venue, and picturesque countryside views. Wedding packages start at $3,500.

Virginia Wedding Venues

Maymont

Historic Manor River Park at 1700 Hampton St, Richmond. Inside are gardens, botanical gardens, and native wildlife habitats. The scenic setting includes 100-year-old Italian gardens, European-style manor houses, pavilions, expansive lawns, and the Robbins Nature Center. Prices range from $3,500 to $6,100.

Inn At Willow Grove

This is a rustic accommodation located at 14079 Plantation Way, Orange. It is unusually peaceful and romantic, surrounded by ancient trees and beautiful gardens. One of the gardens, Boxwood, can accommodate up to 175 guests and offers idyllic views. A versatile barn is also available as a hospitality venue, with rates starting at $7,500.

The Tides Inn

Located at 480 King Carter Dr, Irvington, the entire hotel is situated on a beautiful body of water with views of the Chesapeake Bay. It is a waterfront resort. You can also come here to take part in fun activities such as tennis, golf, paddle boarding, biking, and kayaking. Weddings start at $3,100.

North Carolina Wedding Venues

The Bradford

Professional wedding venue located at 523 Pea Ridge Rd, New Hill. It resembles a European town building with charming gardens and rustic barns. It can accommodate up to 250 guests for a ceremony in the gardens. Wedding packages will vary depending on the time of year and are priced at $8,000 on Fridays and $9,800 on Saturdays.

The Merrimon-Wynne House

The mansion located at 500 N Blount St, Raleigh was built in 1876 and has been well maintained and is now a venue for various events. The building has a main floor full of Southern charm. Inside are original floors and mantelshelves, ornate chandeliers, and a wide porch. The outdoor area is also large enough to host ceremonies in the garden and can accommodate up to 250 guests. Prices for receptions start at $5,000.

Fearrington Village

It's an English-style country hotel located at 2000 Fearrington Village Center. Besides the quaint country setting there are dense gardens with water features. The largest venue is the barn, which offers spacious dining and dancing space and can accommodate up to 250 people guests. Prices for ceremonies start at $2500.

South Carolina Wedding Venues

Middleton Place

This National Historic Landmark is located at 4300 Ashley River Rd, Charleston. You can experience daily life on an 18th-century plantation and enjoy 65 acres of unobstructed views and private garden rooms. Also, enjoy the oldest landscaped gardens on the property. There are 7 ceremony venues, ranging from small weddings of 50 to 400 guests. Prices start at $5,000.

William Aiken House

The 1807 mansion is located at 456 King St, Charleston, a restored mansion that showcases Southern charm and architectural elegance. The yard features a magnolia tree that is over two hundred years old and an elegant terrace. It is also rated as one of South Carolina's premier wedding venues. The cost of a ceremony starts at $3,000.

The Cedar Room

Modern industrial event space at 701 E Bay St, Charleston. Featuring exposed brick walls, high ceilings, and large windows overlooking the cityscape. The indoor Cedar Room venue can accommodate up to 500 people for events, and the outdoor yard can seat up to 200. Events on Fridays or Sundays start at $3,500.

Vermont Wedding Venues

Inn at Mountain View Farm

The Inn at 3383 Darling Hill Rd, East Burke, has breathtaking mountaintop views. Enjoy mountain biking, cross-country skiing, and visits to animal farms, among many other activities. Venues can range from beautiful fields to cozy campfires. Weekend wedding packages start at $3,500.

Hildene - The Lincoln Family Home

The building at 1005 Hildene Rd, Manchester is full of meaning. The Lincolns built Hildene as a summer home at the turn of the 20th century. Here you can look out over the Taconic Mountains to the west and the Green Mountains to the east. The outdoor venue can accommodate up to 200 people and wedding reception prices start at $8,000.
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(Hildene - The Lincoln Family Home)

The Henry House

The historic house at 1338 Murphy Rd, North Bennington, built in 1769, is one of the oldest surviving houses in Vermont. Overlooks the authentic red-covered Henry Bridge. The site offers several vendors for you to consider. The large trees outside the house make for the best wedding photos. The venue needs to be contacted for a specific quote.

Massachusetts Wedding Venues

The Crane Estate

This is a Tudor Revival mansion located at 290 Argilla Rd, Ipswich. It was the summer home of Mr. and Mrs. Richard Taylor Crane, Jr. with winding salt marshes, miles of barrier beaches, and a beautiful hilltop mansion. And of course the rolling lawns and gardens. There are three sites to choose from in all, with the beachfront site accommodating 200 to 500 people. Weekend weddings are priced at $6500.

Red Lion Inn

The Inn at 30 Main St, Stockbridge has a 250-year history. The entire Inn combines traditional New England hospitality with the amenities of a modern hotel. The largest Hitchcock room capacity is capacity 30-175 people. Venue rentals start at $4,000.

Liberty Hotel

A sophisticated hotel located at 215 Charles St, Boston. Located in the heart of downtown, just steps from shopping, dining, Boston Parks, and more. The hotel offers a private secret garden that can accommodate up to 200 people outdoors and an indoor 3000-square-foot ballroom. Wedding venue rates start at $26,000 for up to 100 guests.

Connecticut Wedding Venues

The Lace Factory

This historic factory is located at 161 River St, Deep River, and offers a charming and rustic atmosphere for a wedding venue. It has wood floors, high ceilings, and large windows overlooking the river. The Lace Factory offers event planning services, on-site catering, and a variety of rental options for weddings of all sizes. The Factory can accommodate up to 225 people and prices start at $5,000.

Eolia Mansion at Harkness State

The address is 275 Great Neck Rd, Waterford. Nestled on the shoreline of Waterford, Connecticut, this elegant mansion offers breathtaking views of Long Island Sound. It has manicured gardens, a stone terrace, and a beautiful ballroom. The price of $5,100 includes exclusive use of the mansion's first floor and south courtyard tent for 5 hours.

The Society Room of Hartford

This event venue is located at 31 Pratt St, Hartford, and the historic venue boasts magnificent architecture. It includes a marble staircase, beautifully frescoed ceilings, and crystal chandeliers. It provides a luxurious and timeless setting for weddings. The venue can accommodate up to 300 guests and prices start at 15,000.

New Hampshire Wedding Venues

Wentworth By The Sea Country Club

Country Club at 60 Wentworth Rd, Rye. This private club is near the shore and enjoys magnificent waterfront views and a romantic atmosphere. The hotel has manicured grounds and a historic clubhouse. It can accommodate up to 250 guests in this setting. Three options are available: lawn, clubhouse, and tent weddings. Reception prices start at $30,000.

The Preserve at Chocorua

This venue, located at 88 Philbrick Neighborhood Rd, Tamworth, is a rustic and secluded wedding venue nestled in the White Mountains. It offers scenic views, a charming barn, and plenty of outdoor space for the ceremony. Outdoor activities such as sleigh rides and hiking are also available. Approximate prices will start at $1000.

Bishop Farm

The Farmhouse, located at 33 Bishop Cutoff, Lisbon, is a historic and beautifully landscaped site in the White Mountains. It offers a restored 1876 farmhouse, a barn, and lush greenery. There is also a romantic bistro with a terrace to relax in. Accommodating up to 200 guests, prices start at $15,000.

Rhode Island Wedding Venues

The Chanler at Cliff Walk

A luxury hotel located at 117 Memorial Blvd, Newport. The Chanler offers luxurious accommodations and a grand mansion setting with stunning views of the Atlantic Ocean and access to their world-class restaurant. Specializing in weddings for up to 120 guests with access to their world-class restaurant. Site rentals start at $10,000.

Blithewold Mansion, Gardens & Arboretum

Historic mansion on 33 acres located at 101 Ferry Rd, Bristol with breathtaking views of Narragansett Bay. Large tents are available in the outdoor area, followed by sunset views. Accommodating up to 225 guests, weekend wedding rates start at $12,995.

The Dorrance

Situated in the heart of Providence, The Dorrance is a restored bank building with a sophisticated atmosphere and elegant decor. The most special feature is the long, luxurious bar, which can accommodate up to 200 guests throughout the venue. Venue rentals start at $7,500.

New Jersey Wedding Venues

The Ashford Estate

Located at 637 Province Line Rd, Allentown, this elegant property is nestled in a picturesque setting. Surrounded by hundreds of acres of beautifully preserved farmland, it features sparkling fountains, waterfalls, garden pavilions, expansive views, and of course, luxurious private suites. The wedding venue can accommodate up to 300 guests. Starting at $10,000.

Mallard Island Yacht Club

A club surrounded by water at 1450 NJ-72, Manahawkin. six more venues to choose from in the luxurious private island mansion. The center plaza boasts grand arches and ornate ceilings reminiscent of old-world glamour. The ballroom can accommodate up to 250 people, and prices for receptions start at $20,000.

Liberty House Restaurant & Events

This waterfront event venue is located at 76 Audrey Zapp Dr, Jersey City. It features unparalleled views of the New York City skyline, Ellis Island, the Statue of Liberty, and the Liberty Landing Pier. The Grand Ballroom features a marble floor and floor-to-ceiling windows. The venue can accommodate up to 300 people and venue rental fees start at $8,000.

Delaware Wedding Venues

The Queen Wilmington

This dazzling venue is located at 500 N Market St, Wilmington is downtown. It is a historic music venue that offers a unique and eclectic atmosphere. The venue features a grand ballroom with a stage, state-of-the-art sound system, and elegant décor. The venue can accommodate up to 200 guests and wedding reception prices start from $3,000.

The Cordrey Center

The address is 30366 Cordrey Rd, Millsboro, and its restored barn and surrounding gardens provide a rustic and charming setting. The venue offers a range of services, including in-house catering, bar service, and event coordination. It has indoor and outdoor options and can accommodate up to 200 guests. Venue rental rates start at $3,500.

The Waterfall Catering and Special Events

With an address at 3416 Philadelphia Pike, Claymont, The Waterfall has a modern venue. Centered around a stunning indoor waterfall. The spacious ballroom features contemporary décor and customizable LED lighting systems. The venue can accommodate up to 500 guests. Prices for venue rentals start at $6,000.

Maryland Wedding Venues

Belvedere Hotel

Located at 1 East Chase Street and built-in 1902 as a historic landmark in Baltimore, The Belvedere showcases stunning architecture and classic charm. It offers a variety of event spaces, including a rooftop ballroom with panoramic views of the city. Inside, the décor is more vintage and ornate. Accommodating up to 500 guests, venue rentals start at $8,000.

Evergreen Museum & Library

This grand Gilded Age mansion is located at 4545 N Charles St, Baltimore. It is full of history with a house museum and research library. With beautiful gardens, this venue offers a mix of elegance and history. It's architectural details and scenic surroundings provide a unique backdrop. As well as a tour of the museum's collection. Accommodates up to 200 guests and starts at $6,000.

Chesapeake Bay Beach Club

Located at 500 Marina Club Rd, Stevensville, this venue offers stunning waterfront views and an elegant ballroom. It also has an oceanfront ceremony venue and luxurious accommodations. There are four ballrooms in total, three indoor and one outdoor. Accommodations for up to 300 guests start at $10,000.

District of Columbia Wedding Venues

Larz Anderson House

Located at 2118 Massachusetts Ave NW, Washington, the Anderson House, established in 1905, is a stunning Beaux-Arts mansion that offers a romantic and intimate setting for weddings. The venue features beautiful gardens, a grand staircase, and gorgeous rooms decorated with historic artwork. It can accommodate up to 200 guests and has access to the house's magnificent library. Prices start from $8,000.

The Hay-Adams

Located at 800 16th St NW, Washington, across from the White House, the hotel offers magnificent views of the iconic landmark. This venue has many event spaces, including a rooftop terrace from which the White House can be used as a photo backdrop. Wedding venues can accommodate up to 250 guests and prices start at $15,000.

National Museum of Women in the Arts

Located at 1250 New York Ave NW, Washington, this unique venue celebrates women artists and offers a distinctive setting for weddings. With its stunning architecture and world-class art collection, it provides an exquisite atmosphere for your special day. The venue offers a variety of event spaces, including an assembly hall and mezzanine level, and can accommodate up to 400 guests. However, the museum is temporarily closed for renovations.

Maine Wedding Venues

Hidden Pond

The resort's address is 354 Goose Rocks Rd, Kennebunkport, and is nestled in a secluded wooded area. Featuring elegant indoor and outdoor spaces. Surrounded by 60 acres of birch and balsam fir, it features two outdoor pools and a three-room treetop spa. It ensures an unforgettable wedding experience. Prices start from US$10,000.

Hardy Farm

The farm is located at 254 W Fryeburg Rd, Fryeburg. This rustic and chic site features a restored 18th-century farmhouse and a spacious barn with panoramic mountain views. Of course, there are also seasonal gardens and a woodland church. The most special feature is the provision of a cable car to reach the top of the mountain, which is also a popular backdrop for photos. It can accommodate up to 250 guests and prices start from $6,500.

Portland Regency Hotel & Spa

The address is 20 Milk St, Portland, and is centrally located, offering a blend of classic elegance and modern amenities. With many event spaces, on-site catering, and a spa, it can accommodate intimate and large weddings. Accommodations range from 10 to 220 guests, with rates starting at $3,500.

Conclusion

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." When Harry Met Sally
Finally, we've rounded up our recommendations for wedding venues in each of the remaining states. Choosing the perfect wedding venue is an important step in creating your dream wedding. It sets the tone for the entire celebration and provides the backdrop for your special day. No matter what style of wedding venue you prefer, there is a venue above that perfectly suits your style and preferences.
Last but not least, don't forget to check out Quictent's wedding tent. we offer quality wedding tents for your outdoor wedding, containing various types and sizes.

“I just had an idea pop into my head about something to do this coming weekend, and I wanted to bounce it off you two before it slips my mind” My friend Natasha said those words as the three of us sat on my couch one afternoon. I found myself sitting up slightly. Normally, Natasha was the last of our group to suggest things to do, letting Vinny, the third member of our group, or I come up with the plans to keep our free time occupied. The fact she was about to suggest something intrigued me. “What have you got in mind?” I asked her. A smile played over her face as her brown eyes seemed to flash. “How about a little ghost hunting?”
I felt Vinny sit straight up beside me. She had clearly grabbed both our attention now. The three of us were what you might call amateur ghost hunters, using very basic items we bought offline to visit some of the spookier places in the area and posting our adventures on YouTube, sort of like a crappier version of Ghost Adventures. “Now that’s one hell of a good idea” Vinny said, before a puzzled expression spread over his face. “But, I mean, where? We’ve already done most of the places around town. The Tioga building won’t let us in after that…well, what that one resident claims we stirred up in the old ballroom, and I’m not about to make the hours long drive to the Wolf Creek Inn” Natasha’s smile grew wider. “No, we don’t have to even go out of town for this one” she said, her voice dropping low, “What I’m suggesting, is we check out…” her voice trailed off, letting the suspense grow for a few seconds before finishing, “The Egyptian Theatre”
Instantly, Vinny let out a harsh bark of laughter. “HA! Now that’s a good one. You know damn good and well that the society that runs the theater won’t allow us in after hours to ghost hunt. As far as I know, they’ve never allowed any paranormal teams into the place” He pulled a face. “So, how exactly do you propose we get in there? You flutter your eyelashes for the night janitor and use your feminine charms to get us in?” Natasha still grinned, but rolled her eyes at our friend’s quip. “No, actually, I was thinking about using my lock picking skills to get us in” she declared. It was my turn to give her an incredulous look. “You’re joking, right?” I asked. She shook her head. “Nope, I’m dead serious” I let out an incredulous, almost baffled snort of laughter and pulled my glasses off my face, rubbing my eyes.
The country, and, to a large extent, the entire world, became gripped in an interest, sometimes bordering on obsession with all things Egyptian when King Tut’s tomb was discovered over a century ago. Many things came out of this, including the classic 1932 monster movie The Mummy. But, one thing that also came of this fever gripping the country was a desire to build many Egyptian style buildings. And one of the buildings which took this design and ran with it, were the movie theatres. A decade after the legendary discovery, over a hundred theatres had gone up all around the country, their interiors clad with fake temple columns, paintings of sphinxes and Egyptian gods such as Anubis decorating the walls, and hieroglyphs adorning the archways. People flocked in droves to them, both to watch movies, and live performances. But, like all trends, eventually, the interest began to wane, and as the late 20th Century approached, many began to shut down and be either remodeled, or straight up demolished. Today, there’s only between five and eight Egyptian style theatres left in the entire country.
And one just so happens to be right in the town I live in.
When I moved to Coos Bay, Oregon nine years ago, I immediately fell in love with the place. Even though it’s the largest coastal town on the Oregon coast, it’s a place which is more or less perpetually frozen in time, still looking pretty much as it did between thirty and seventy years ago. And, as someone who is not exactly into the modern world, it made a perfect place for me to live and escape away from the 21st Century. I began exploring right away, driving every street of it and the town neighboring it, North Bend, along with walking every alley and back road I could to learn the layout. That’s how I learned about the supernatural element to the town.
There are many places in town which people claim supernatural occurrences take place. From the remains of the old logging buildings on the estuary, to the old Tioga Hotel which has been remodeled into apartments, there is no shortage of ghostly tales. There was even the old McCauley Hospital, which had once been the focal point of the town’s annual ghost walks until it was demolished in 2018. As a side note, I heard a rumor that a couple people broke into that place right before it got torn down. Something sure spooked them, because a friend of mine on the police force told me they gave him a fright, bursting in the night before Easter and rambling about something. I always wondered what they saw in there.
But, for me, the place in town I always loved the most, and enjoyed the most hearing about the ghostly accounts told, was the Egyptian Theatre.
Originally built as a garage in 1922, it was renovated by a man named Charles Noble into a movie theatre in 1925, where it drew in droves of people from around the area to watch films, and enjoy live vaudeville performances. It continued to operate almost to the end of the 20th Century, when other theatres began to attract younger moviegoers, and for a while, it almost seemed as though the historic building might even be closed for good and gutted. But, thanks to the efforts of local preservation societies, it was saved, and now operates as a theatre once again. They mostly play only older movies, along with live performances.
And, of course, it draws curious people for the paranormal rumors surrounding it.
For years, people have reported strange occurrences happening inside the building, both when it’s open, and after hours. Patrons and employees alike have spoken about a pervasive feeling of being watched inside the building, but finding no one there when the place was searched. There have been reports of being touched by invisible hands, a few even pushed slightly. Beyond physical interaction, employees have reported the sounds of old film projectors playing and unseen audiences laughing after hours, along with the eerie playing of the theatre’s Wurlitzer pipe organ, along with a host of other occurrences. No ghost hunting team has ever gone in to try and document these events. And to Natasha, that was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Legal, or not.
“Are you freaking nuts?!” Vinny exclaimed, “Do you have any idea how much trouble we’d be in if we got caught breaking and entering? The cops around here are already a bit twitchy with the druggies and the homeless. You wanna give them a reason to throw us into jail alongside them?” Natasha held up a finger, flipping her black hair over her shoulder. “They won’t find out, because I have not one, but two aces in the hole here. The first is that thanks to being friends with Scott, I know the nighttime police sweeps, where they’re going to be and everything. There’ll be an hour long window where they’re not anywhere near the alley where the back door to the theatre is. We can get in and out with no threat of being spotted at all. And the second is, did you forget I’m dating Dylan now?” The realization washed over me like a wave; she had started dating the man who helped the preservation society run the theatre a month or so ago. Damn, she’s been planning this one for a while, I thought.
Vinny had a thoughtful look on his face, his green eyes darting around rapidly, but not seeing. “Hmm” he muttered, then looked at Natasha. “And you’re sure that there’s no chance of us getting caught?” he asked slowly. “Absolutely none” she said, then looked at both of us. “So, how about it?” For a few moments, there was silence, and then Vinny let out a chuckle. “What the hell, why not? The most exciting thing we’ve done the last few weeks is go down to the farmer’s market. This could shake things up a bit” I suddenly became aware that the two of them were looking at me, waiting for me to make my decision. I was always the most sensible of the three of us, doing all I could to keep us out of trouble with others as well as the law. But, I always had one nasty Achilles Heel ever since I had been a child, and that was peer pressure. So, despite the overwhelming feeling that I should tell them no, that I should say we should just find something else to do, I nodded. “Alright, let’s do it” I said simply, causing grins to break out on both of my friend’s faces.
I wish to God in retrospect that I’d just had the damn spine to stand up and say “No”
The rest of the week seemed to pass by faster than usual. Before I knew it, the weekend had arrived. We’d decided that late Saturday night would be the best time to do this, as most places downtown closed up between eleven and midnight, aside from the bars and strip club. To say I felt anxious about breaking the law, something I wasn’t used to doing at all, would be like calling a Megalodon a goldfish, but my worries about disappointing my friends ended up outweighing it. And so, at eleven-thirty, the three of us piled into my beat up Chevy Tahoe, and made our way towards downtown. As I drove us down Ocean Boulevard, which connected the two sides of town, something settled over me. I can’t exactly place it, even to this day. But it was the most uneasy feeling I’ve ever experienced. But I did my best to push it away. It’s nothing, Troy. It’s just because you’re, understandably, worried about this. Plus, the road being deserted isn’t helping much.
My mental chiding seemed to help center me a bit, which was a good thing. The road was now angling downward, and a moment later, we drove into downtown. The darkened shapes of the closed stores seemed to rise up higher on either side of us than they looked during the daytime. We’d decided to cruise by the front entrance first, just to see if anyone were still inside. As I turned the truck onto the main drag, the sign for the theatre rose high above us, a depiction of an Egyptian pharaoh next to the yellow and white letters which proclaimed its name to everyone who drove through town. I spared a glance as we passed it. The lit up marquee windows showed that The Blues Brothers and Jaws would be shown soon. For whatever reason, though, I couldn’t bring myself to look through the glass doors that showed the building’s darkened interior. The uneasy feeling had returned, and, for a moment, it felt as though if I did look, I would see someone, or something staring back out at me. And then we passed it, taking the next right and looping back around to Anderson Ave.
I turned the truck into the narrow alley drive which ran along the back of the theatre and neighboring buildings. Parking right next to the rear doors would be extremely conspicuous, so I pulled up a bit further and parked in a carport like area. Shutting off the engine, I turned to my two friends. “Well, this is it” I said, “Last chance to turn back if anyone’s having second thoughts” I’d hoped that either Vinny or Natasha would’ve gotten cold feet in the last few minutes, allowing us to go do something else. But there was no such luck. “Are you kidding me?” Natasha said from the passenger seat, “We are far too close to back out now!” Vinny grunted from behind me. Well, shit. Resigning myself to the fact they were determined to go through with this, I let a deep breath out through my nose and nodded. The others opened their doors and hopped out. A moment later, I followed.
The night air was cool and crisp on my skin as we slowly walked back down the alley to the rear of the yellow-ish, tan building. Three different sets of red double doors were built into the back of the theatre. Natasha pulled something out of her coat pocket, and I realized, with a small pang of surprise, that it was a lock pick set. A legitimate lock pick set. “Where the hell did you get that?” I whispered to her. She shrugged and smiled. “I have my ways of getting things” she said simply, then pointed to the far right set of doors. “We’ll have a bit of cover from that electrical box. You two keep an eye out while I deal with the lock” And with that, she scurried forward, bending down in front of the door handles. Vinny and I stood guard, each of us looking down both ends of the alley. As the soft sound of Natasha messing with the lock filtered over to me, I realized just how quiet it was. And how eerie hearing downtown so quiet was. Aside from a few distant booms and bangs, and the far off sound of a dog barking, all I could hear was the whistle of the wind as it whipped between the old buildings.
An involuntary shiver cascaded up my spine, and I tried again to reason myself back to a relative sense of calm. “Get a grip, dude, you’re gonna be fine” I whispered under my breath. But this time, it felt as though I weren’t able to entirely convince myself. I suddenly became aware of a creeping sensation, one which made me shoot a look around. Nothing moved in the stillness, no indication of anyone besides us being in the alley. And, yet…I was overcome with the distinct feeling of being watched. Not by either of my friends. But…by someone else. Before I had a chance to even think about it, I heard a rather loud click, and Natasha let out a soft laugh of triumph. “We’re in, ladies and gentleman!” she declared, standing up and pulling on the door. It opened silently, the streetlight in the alley casting a small shaft of light into the darkness beyond. Turning, she waved an arm at Vinny and I. “Come on, let’s get inside”
Before either of us could say anything, she turned and disappeared into the dark. I shot a look at Vinny, who simply shrugged. “After you, my man” he whispered. I let out a deep sigh, and then moved to the door. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the small flashlight, and then pulled on the heavy metal, slipping inside, Vinny right behind me. The darkness swallowed us as the door closed. For a moment, a small rush of panic from not being able to see flashed through me, before a light appeared beside me. It wasn’t from a flashlight, though; instead, a small, orange flame flickered beside me. “Don’t turn on your flashlights yet, just follow me” Natasha said, the flame making her face seem to dance and move behind it. She turned and headed away, leaving us no choice but to follow. I listened to her and didn’t turn on my flashlight. But every fiber of my being was screaming at me to. Because the feeling of being watched out in the alleyway? Had quintupled in here. The best way to describe it, was that we were angrily being stared at. And I didn’t like the sensation one bit.
Natasha led us up a flight of steps and pushed open another door. “We’re here” she said, still keeping her voice low, “You can turn on your flashlights now” Thank you, God, I silently said, snapping mine on and casting a bright white light into the room we’d entered. A moment later, so did my two friends’ lights. The beams played around, and I heard Vinny let out a bit of a gasp. “Ho-lyyyy shit” he muttered.
Natasha had guided us into the main theatre. The ceiling rose high above our heads, almost out of sight of even the flashlights. Rows upon rows of red movie seats stretched out and away from us, seeming almost unending in the shadows. The walls were all covered in hieroglyphs, all still original from the 1920s. To our left, the second story, which housed a smaller row of seats, along with the projection room rose about twenty feet above us. And to the right, was the stage itself. It was flanked by two huge columns, the screen rolled up and revealing a mosaic of an Egyptian building on the back wall, with two men clutching staffs sitting on either side. Directly in front of the stage sat the organ, its seating bench tucked beneath it.
“Okay, this is a trip to be in at night!” Natasha exclaimed excitedly, then pulled the backpack she’d been wearing off her shoulders. Dropping it into a seat, she unzipped it and began pulling items from it. “Guys, here” she said, holding them out. Vinny stepped forward and grabbed the camcorder from her; as someone who’d had a lifelong dream of being a filmmaker, he was our resident cameraman. I stepped forward and took two items from her: an infrared thermometer and an EVP recorder. The rest, she placed on the ground, and then faced Vinny. “Alright, tell me when you’re recording” He fumbled with the camcorder for a second, then shot her a thumbs up. Instantly, she took on a somber, eerie expression, giving an admittedly creepy look at the camera. “Well, well, welcome back to The Three Ghostkuteers, everyone. I hope you all have been well since our last trip. Tonight, you join us in a very, very special place, and one close to home for us. We are currently in the Egyptian Theatre in Coos Bay, Oregon, one of the last remaining in the country. It was built in the 1920s by a man named Charles Noble-“
I turned away, tuning her out as I did. The woman really, really enjoys being in front of the camera. Better her than me. Shining my light around, I looked up at the balcony. I could see the small hole in the projection booth where the movie projector would shine out onto the screen. Something caught the beam’s light, reflecting off it slightly, and I aimed the light at the wall. It was a wrought iron light fixture, one which had been shaped into the figure of a King Cobra, poised to strike. Gazing around, I saw they adorned much of the walls. I let out a small shudder at it. God, do I hate snakes. Thankfully, though, the feeling of being watched I’d had in the alley and the darkened back of the theatre had seemingly disappeared. Yeah, see, what’d I tell you, Troy? Nothing but your nerves.
Natasha had finished her opening monologue and moved to the edge of the stage, on which she placed the small, square spirit box. “And now, let’s see if anyone would like to speak with us” she said, flicking it on. Instantly, the silence of the theatre was shattered by the sound of static, intermittently interrupted by quick snippets of radio shows being picked up. “Is there anyone here who’d like to talk to us?” she called out into the huge room. The static and snippets were the only sound to answer her. After a minute, she tried again. “Are there any spirits who’d like to communicate with us?” There was still nothing. Vinny panned the camera from the box to Natasha as she paced back and forth for a few minutes. A small look of disappointment flooded over her face, but she instantly plastered it over with the same look she’d given the camera before. “Well, it looks like the spirit box isn’t gonna work tonight, so we’re gonna have to try something else” She pulled out an EVP recorder identical to mine and switched it on. “Let’s try this instead, shall we? Remember, by the way guys, if you’re new here and want to see more, to like and subscribe-“
I turned away again, feeling a small pang of irritation flow through me. This is freakin’ ridiculous, man. The longer we stay in here, the more chance we have of getting caught. Truth be told, as much as I enjoyed ghost hunting, I didn’t even really believe in the paranormal. In all the years the three of us had filmed together, not once had we caught anything, on tape or otherwise. In fact, many times we’d had to fake spooky occurrences in order to make sure our videos got any views at all. This is your own fault, man, I silently chided myself, you’re the one who couldn’t stand up to them and say no. You really, seriously need to grown a spine and learn how to say no. The mental self lecture was furthering my rotten mood, and I began to feel a wave of anger at my two friends, as well as myself boil up.
“Hell with this” I finally muttered, then turned and began walking up the aisle. “Troy, where the hell are you going?” I heard Natasha call out behind me. I stopped, not looking over my shoulder, but quietly aiming my voice behind me and allowing a hint of irritation to seep into it. “I’m gonna go check out the second floor balcony, okay? I don’t exactly like just standing here” For a moment, there was silence, and then her voice came, soft and almost apologetic. “Okay, go ahead” Before she could say anything more, I strode away, walking to the open doorway which led out of the theater and into the concession area. I hooded my flashlight beam with one hand to make sure it wouldn’t accidentally shine out of the glass entrance doors into the street and looked around. The lobby and concession stand took up most of the front area, the darkened shape of it stretching along the far wall.
Taking a few steps ahead, I turned and looked up at the wall above me. Large, blue letters stretched out from one side of it to the other. Through these doors pass the most wonderful people. I snorted softly. “Yeah, unfortunately, not tonight” I shook my head, then looked around. And nearly jumped out of my skin. Something also seemed to jump back. I felt my heartbeat begin to race in my chest and my breath quickened. “Shit…” I let out weakly, then slowly moved forward. After a few steps, I suddenly realized what I’d seen and let out a soft laugh of relief.
“Your own damn reflection, you fucking pussy” Shaking my head, I turned away from the glass wall and headed for the stairs to the second floor. At the base of them, I stopped and shone my flashlight up. “Ooh, boy” I said quietly. Sitting next to the stairway like a sentry, was a huge, golden statue of a pharaoh. It towered over me, and I estimated that, were it be standing straight up, it’d easily be between eight and ten feet tall. It stared straight ahead at the wall ahead of it, and I couldn’t help but let out a small shiver as I stared at it. It just seemed so damn eerie in the dark, and I quickly moved past it, heading up the stairs and stepping out onto the second story balcony.
I shone my light around. Red seats again surrounded me, though this time far fewer. Ahead of me, I could see the balcony’s edge and the hulking shape of the main stage beyond. I could also see the beams of my friends’ flashlights playing over it, and hear both of their voices speaking softly. Deciding while I was up here to at least check out the projection booth, I strode over to the door and tried to turn the handle. It was locked. Feeling my irritation bubble over into exasperation, I jiggled the handle in some stupid attempt to open it. But the door stayed shut. I turned away and rubbed my eyes, again hearing the voices of my friends softly filtering up to me from down below.
“Hey, if there really are any ghosts, or spooks, or specters, or whatever in here? If you’re actually real, could you appear to us, please?” I whispered to no one, “That way my friends can get what they want and I can go home” I received only silence in reply. I hadn’t really expected anything, anyways. You know what? Screw this, I’m going back down there and telling them I’m going home, with or without them. This is beyond stupid, I just broke the law for what? For nothing! For something dumb as hell. And with that, I turned to walk away. But I hadn’t even taken a single step when something crashed into me like a wave. The breath was driven from my lungs as I felt a massive chill shoot through me, as though I’d been doused with ice water. “What the fuck?!” I hissed through gritted teeth, then froze, my eyes going wide. The feeling of being watched had returned with a vengeance, and it had seemingly been ramped up in its intensity. I shot a look around, but saw nobody.
Still, the feeling remained, and with each passing second, it almost seemed to grow stronger. Chill after chill rolled up my spine, and even though I didn’t really believe, something deep inside me told me that it was time to get out. Okay, time to leave, I said in my head, and headed quickly for the stairs. As I reached the head, I turned to look back one final time. That’s when I saw something. It disappeared when I aimed my flashlight at it, but I swear a second earlier it had been the outline of a person, standing in the shadows and watching me. The split second sight catapulted me into motion, and I hurried down the steps, shining my light every which way but loose. Believer or not, I knew something wanted us out. I’d planned on jumping off the second to last stair and running for the main theatre floor. But as I reached the bottom, I froze.
For a moment, I couldn’t place why. And then, the realization fell over me like a tsunami. I let out an involuntary gasp, and fear like I’d never felt before surged through me. I didn’t want to turn around and look. I wanted to pretend I hadn’t seen it. I desperately wanted to. But, like a dumbass character in a horror movie, I couldn’t help it. I needed to look. I slowly turned, aiming my flashlight back up. And I couldn’t help but let out a strangled scream, falling backwards over my own feet as I began to backpedal rapidly.
The statue of the pharaoh still sat where it had. It still towered over me, looking as imposing and eerie as ever. But it’s carved and painted eyes were no longer staring straight ahead at the wall. Instead, they had somehow moved. And when I’d turned, I’d come to find they were staring directly at me.
I scrambled to my feet, snatching the flashlight from the floor where I’d dropped it and aiming it at the statue again. It stared straight out at nothing again. But I knew what I’d seen. It hadn’t been a trick of my mind, or the light. The freaking thing’s eyes had moved to watch me as I passed down by it. I began to stammer out as I backed away from it. “Okay, that’s it, no no no no, we’re done here, fuck this shit, I’m officially a believer, we’re leaving, right now” I kept backing towards the doorway to the theatre, never taking my eyes off the statue. I was terrified I’d seen it suddenly stand up and turn to lumber after me like Boris Karloff or something.
The blaring sound of the theatre’s organ slashed through the silence, causing me to let out another strangled scream and jump almost a foot off the ground. I whipped around, thinking I would see my moronic friends tinkering with the instrument. Instead, I froze again. The theatre was no longer dark. Both of my friends had seemingly vanished from the room, as I could no longer see them. The movie screen had somehow been pulled down, and above me, I heard the whir of the movie projector playing. An old, black and white movie, one which had no sound, played on the screen, occasionally changing to show dialogue being displayed in white letters.
It was also no longer empty.
The entire theatre was packed. I saw people sitting at almost every single seat in the huge room. I could only see the backs of their heads as they watched the movie playing. At the edge of the stage, what looked like a man now sat at the organ, playing it in time with the film. A slapstick moment came across the screen, and the audience began laughing. In any other situation, it would’ve been a comforting sound. But at that moment, it was the most spine chilling sound I’d ever heard. Especially as another wave of realization crashed into me. From the little I could see, everyone in the theatre looked to be dressed in long passed fashions.
That’s when the voice, low and quiet, came from behind me. “Good evening, sir” it said. It sounded like a man’s voice, one rather low and deep pitched, but something about it paralyzed me on the spot. The voice continued, putting on an air of pleasant politeness. “We’re so glad you could make it, it’s been so long since we’ve had new patrons arrive at a showing. If I could just see your ticket, please?”
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. Then, I managed to squeak out two words. “Uh, ticket?” The tone of the voice seemed to change somewhat. “Yes, your ticket. That’s the only way you could’ve gotten in. Please, let me verify it and show you to your seat” Ohhh, shit. Whoever, or whatever the voice belonged to, thought I had shown up like a regular moviegoer. The voice’s tone became less polite. “You do have a ticket, right, sir?” I was beyond terrified to answer, but I was more terrified to remain silent. For a moment, I considered lying. But I feared what might happen if I did. So I told the truth.
“I….uh, I, uh….I don’t have a ticket, sir” I stammered out, my voice barely above a whisper. Instantly, all sound stopped in the room like someone had flipped a switch. “You…don’t have a ticket?” the voice said, all pretense of manners vanishing from it, “Then how did you get in here for the late night showing?” Oh, god. I forced myself to speak, still unable to say anything except the truth. “My…my friends and I….broke in…through the back door…to…ghost hunt…” There was silence for a few moments, and then a heavy hand dropped onto my shoulder. My head swiveled to look at it. Oh, fuck me sideways. It wasn’t a regular hand. It was a fucking claw. One with black skin, tipped with what looked like razor sharp nails. It sat there for a moment, then tightened; almost painfully so, making me let out a small whimper of pain.
That’s when I looked up. Everyone in the theatre had turned to look at me. My initial thought had been correct; they all wore clothing from almost a century ago, and not the stuff cosplayers wear, either. They also had very angry expressions on their faces, as if they’d just noticed the intruder among their midst. The voice finally came again, almost directly behind me. Its tone lowered, almost sounding guttural and animal, making my legs almost melt into jelly from the fear. “Then, might I make a suggestion to you and your trespassing little friends?” My breath came in rapid, ragged gasps, and I barely managed to force out the one word. “Yes?”
“LEAVE”
At the single word reply, which now more closely resembled a growl than a word, I did something I will forever wish I hadn’t. I finally turned and looked up at who was addressing me. The only way I can describe what happened is, my mind shattered. The next thing I remember, I was crashing into the back doors of the theatre into the night.
And I was screaming.
That was a month or so ago. When I’d stumbled back into the alley, I’d turned and, in what I can only call blind fear and panic, bolted for my truck. I hadn’t even heard my friends chasing after me. Not until Vinny caught up to me as I scrambled with my keys, grabbing me from behind and turning me to face him. He said the look I’d had on my face scared him and Natasha more than anything ever had before. I’d been pale as a sheet, my eyes wider than they ever thought a human’s could be. I'd been babbling softly. I’d been saying the words “They want us to leave” over and over. They didn’t ask me what had happened. They just pushed me into the backseat of my truck and drove away from there. It was clear, as I found out later on, that both of them hadn’t seen anything. As far as they were concerned before seeing me dash to the rear doors, it was just an empty theatre. Neither one of them ever asked me what I saw that night. And for that, I’m thankful. Because I could never utter from my lips what I did see.
But I’ve had nightmares since then. Horrible ones. Ones that’ve been so bad, I had to let out what happened to me, deciding to just post it here, regardless of whether people believe me or not.
Nightmares about being back in that theatre after hours. About seeing that pharaoh statue’s eyes flick in its painted sockets to look at me. About seeing all those people, people long since dead, sitting and watching the films they did when they were alive. About seeing that hand fall on my shoulder, hearing that voice, telling me not to come back until I have a ticket.
And about turning to see who the hand and voice belonged to.
The Egyptian Theatre will be celebrating its centennial this year. People are planning to show up in 1920s cars, dressed in period clothing. They’re even going to show an old, silent film as part of the festivities. But I won’t be attending it. I won’t ever go anywhere near it again. The one time I tried, a week or so ago, I started trembling with fear. And the mental image played over and over in my head.
The image of turning to see that horrible canine head attached to the human-like body, red, glowing eyes glaring down at me as it’s sharp teeth glinted in the light.
I pray to god I never will end up with a ticket to one of its late night showings.
But I can't help but fear that, like those packed into the theatre, sooner or later, we all will.

Rep Earl Blumenauer is an out-of-touch dweeb for today's Portland. His continued pumping of cycling and transit and the "city that works" vibe just doesn't match how Portland has changed since he last lived here.
I get that he's an uber-wonk: but his sunny vision of how Portland is a model for the rest of the country has fallen flat. But does he know it? It feels like he's lost in a time warp, traipsing along to some mid-90s to 2000s PDX. Meanwhile, we're dealing with fentanyl, meth, crime, homelessness, trash, broken governments, terrible cycling infrastructure, a barely functional TriMet...
Scene: Earl visits his staffers in Portland. Some probable quotes from him:

• "Who's heading down to VQ before the Critical Mass swarm?"
• "I hear there's some amazing new microbrews at McMenamin's... let's hit them up before watching some C.h.u.n.k. 666."
• "Anyone up for a bike ride along the Esplanade? I heard they've added some great new art installations."
• "I can't believe how affordable homes are in Portland!"
• "I hear Powell's 'City of Books' section really captures that 'Portlandia' spirit we all know and love."
• "We should volunteer at that new community garden downtown. It's right near a food cart pod I've been dying to try out."
• "I've heard great things about the 'Hawthorne district' these days!"
• "Renn Faire baby! I'm going to be dressed as a Portlandia bard!"

Title: Bicycle Accidents, Road Design, and Protecting Your Rights 🚴‍♂️🛣️
Hey Reddit community! As an attorney from Pacific Injury Law Firm in Portland, Oregon, I wanted to share some important information for all the cyclists out there. We've noticed a significant increase in bicycle accidents as cycling becomes a more popular form of transportation. It's crucial to understand the risks and how to protect your rights as a cyclist.
Bicycle accidents can lead to severe injuries or fatalities due to the lack of protection from other vehicles on the road. According to the CDC, bicyclists have higher chances of facing fatal or serious injuries in crashes with motor vehicles than the occupants themselves. In 2018 alone, 857 cyclists were killed in traffic-related crashes - a substantial increase from 783 fatalities reported in 2017.
To reduce these accidents, improved road design is essential. This includes adding dedicated bike lanes and signage warning drivers about approaching cyclists. Installing speed bumps at intersections frequented by cyclists can also help slow down drivers who might not see an approaching cyclist until it's too late.
If you're involved in an accident while riding your bike, it's important to know your rights as a cyclist so you can protect yourself legally if needed. Depending on state laws regarding negligence related to bicycle accidents, you may be able to file a personal injury lawsuit against any responsible party that caused harm or loss due to their negligence or recklessness while driving near you on public roads or highways.
Moreover, if injured due to dangerous road conditions like potholes or broken signals, you might be eligible for filing suit against local government entities responsible for maintaining those roads.
For more detailed information about bicycle accidents and protecting your rights as a cyclist 🚴‍♀️🚴‍♂️ , check out our blog post here: https://pacificinjurylawfirm.com/blog/bicycle-accidents-and-road-design-understanding-the-risks-and-protecting-your-rights
Stay safe and ride on, fellow cyclists! 🚴‍♂️🚴‍♀️

PacificInjuryLawFirm

If you have any questions or need legal advice, feel free to reach out to us at (971) 277-3811 or visit our website: https://pacificinjurylawfirm.com

So, I’m writing this on my phone because I figured I should share my experiences. I’ve shared one already but I figured I should share more as I have had quite the run-ins with some odd things in the woods of the Pacific Northwest.
I live in Oregon, but I do tend to travel on my off time in the wilderness, despite my run ins I love the forest, nature, and all I just tend to be much more careful now.
This first story takes place in my home state. I have a buddy who is a park ranger and he shared me a story of his own. He works at Crater Lake National Park and was patrolling one of the trails that was reported by hikers who said they heard a bear in the area. He went out with a tranquilizer to move the bear out of an area that was close to a campground. He was walking as usual when he felt eyes on him…he began to hear movement in the woods, and he shouted out “anybody out there?”
No response.
He got his tranquilizer ready and proceeded toward the noise. But as he approached, he heard another noise behind him.
Now he was thinking, “Oh no there’s more than one out here.”
Not sure what to do he prepared for the worst but then to his relief it was two deer. He sighed in relief thanking God that he wasn’t going to be mauled that day. But suddenly he noticed blood on one of the deer’s antlers and next to it behind the bushes it came out of was the carcass of a black bear. The two deer just stared at him and returned to feasting on the bear. He wasn’t sure what to do, tranquilize them or risk being a victim? He decided it was best to take the shot and hit both. They didn’t even budge and just walked off into the forest.
He reported the dead carcass of the bear and just had a team remove the remains. Still gives him the Chills thinking back to that day.
The next story was when I went on a fishing trip with a friend in Washington.
We had set out to fish along this river that was calm that day.
We caught a few fish and even some crawdads. I love seafood so I wanted us to stay out longer to catch a few more fish. My friend ended up taking a nap while I continued to fish. All was well but I suddenly noticed something in the distance, something dark moving along the river. I thought it was some sort of log that was stuck and got free and was floating along the river, but its movements didn’t appear normal. It would move back and forth getting closer and closer. I began to get nervous; I can’t really explain why it just felt like I needed to get away from whatever this thing was.
I turned to my friend who was still asleep and heard a splash.
I looked back and the thing was just gone. I looked around wondering where it went, and I saw it. Perched on top of a tree, I thought it was a cougar, I grabbed my binoculars for a closer look, and it was crouched but was tall, lanky and had milky white eyes but covered in black feathers and wearing some sort of animal pelt. I felt a sudden sense of dread and fear I never felt before. I looked back to my friend to wake him but before I could I heard another splash and saw it was back in the water now headed to the boat. I said “F this “and then turned on the motor and hauled ass out of there. My friend woke up yelling at me and asked, “What the hell are you doing?” but I didn’t respond. When we got to the loading dock, I anchored the boat and told him to get in the truck and he protested about leaving the boat and I said, “We will get it later get in now!”
The car ride back I explained everything, and I saw how pale he got. He’s part Native American and explained to me that what I saw was a Skinwalker.
This next story takes place in the Canadian Wilderness. I was on a hunting trip with my buddy who has a cabin in Canada deep in the wilderness, off-grid type of deal. It was the beginning of winter so the snow wasn’t so bad to where you just couldn’t move. He had this goal to get a mountain lion. So, we headed out to a ridge where you could see out to a clearing where he said he saw this specific mountain lion every year. It always came to the same spot, maybe its home was nearby I don’t know. So, its nighttime, and we had a small fire going, I went to go take a piss when I noticed something or somethings… 3 humanoid figures were in the clearing, I quickly put the fire out, and my friend told me “Dude why did you do that?” I told him to shush, and we observed the 3 beings. The thing was this was way out in the middle of the wilderness, there’s absolutely no way that anybody else knew about this spot. Also, the 3 figures looked human, but I could tell they were much taller than normal and their arms, skinny and just moved unnaturally. They were circling something, but I couldn’t tell what exactly. Then one of the figures stopped and looked directly at us. We rushed to cover and didn’t really know what to do. So, we decided to not sleep that night and have our rifles ready just in case. The following morning, we went down to the clearing to see what those figures were circling and sure enough we saw footprints much larger than a normal human and the beheaded mountain lion that my friend wanted mounted in his cabin so badly but now not so much…
This story still comes across my mind to this day. Me and my buddy from our hiking club were going on a hike one day, it was a beautiful hike along a river, and we were looking for places to set up camp. We saw a campground with food and trash everywhere and at first, I was upset that someone just left this much of a mess here. But the longer I looked around the weirder things got…Their trash bag was still hoisted up on a tree branch but ripped open, the food was still there and if a bear or another animal got to the food, they would of ate everything. Also, there tents were still set up, but ripped as if from the inside, clothes still around and even 2 pairs of boots. The whole campground looked as if whoever was there was immediately in a rush to get out of there and just left all their belongings, not even bothering to take their shoes. The hairs on my neck stood up and both my buddy and I decided that we should call it a day and just hike back to the car. I reported the incident to the forest rangers, but they said they weren’t aware of anybody camping in the area and did not receive any reports from the area. Still freaks me out thinking what could have spooked these people so bad they left their tents, not even bothering to use the zipper and leaving their clothes and shoes behind.
This next one comes from a solo hike. I was doing a 3-day solo trip somewhere in Washington near the Canadian border. I was literally way out there no facilities or normal campground. I was just hiking along, and dusk was approaching, my campsite was already set but I just went for a stroll when I thought I heard a child’s voice calling for help. I thought it was my imagination, but I heard it again. I began to follow it and then I saw the child. He looked dirty; clothes still intact but his back was facing me. I called out to this kid, and he turned around but before he could speak, he was pulled by someone or something down on the other side of this hill. Then I heard a loud crash as if a metal down shut. I ran to where I saw the kid and saw nothing but the same clothes, he was wearing neatly folded and his shoes right next to them. After a few minutes to no avail, I made my way back to the campsite gathered all my things and headed back. I went to the forest ranger station and told them about what I saw. Never found out if they found that kid or not.
Now this story comes from my close friend in Oregon, but this happened in Washington. So, I was hanging out with my friend who has pretty much grew up in the outdoors all his life and I asked him what his most creepy experience in the woods was. He told me he didn’t have a lot of experiences like that aside from hearing weird things at night when he went camping. But, this one time he was out hiking with his dog, they usually are a pair for hiking with friends but this time he was out hiking with just his dog in the deep woods of Washington on a trail that had very little traffic, like you wouldn’t expect to run into anybody. So, his dog is off leash, roaming a little in front of him and as they come to a corner the dog just stopped and his hair stood on the back of his neck, did a single bark moved up one step and then just ran behind my friend, not behind his legs but down the trail behind my friend, about 25 yards behind him. My friend pulled out his firearm and aimed forward, considering this was an area where black bears are he thought maybe his dog saw a bear but after a few minutes he didn’t find anything, no animals, nothing. His dog refused to go near him even after he kept calling for his dog. He eventually left the trail with his dog and got back home in one piece. But he said he never saw his dog act like that, his dog and he have hiked plenty, and his dog has been spooked before, but he never acted that way and he would always come back to my friend even when spooked.
This last story I have for now occurred when I was hunting with my buddy in Washington. The area still had trees but was on the dryer side with us being closer to the desert.
We had a deer blind set up near a clearing and scanned the area for some deer when we noticed a big elk with a couple of doe. They were grazing and we just watched since we didn’t want this deer.
What was odd though was the weather began to get rainy and fog rolled in as evening was approaching. We noticed that the elk began to showcase defensive behavior, going back and forth making grunting noises and huffing as it began to set up a defensive area around the doe who were now cowering in a small area. Kind of like “Back up these are mine” This elk was staring at the tree line, and we thought, “oh shit maybe it’s a bear”. But to our surprise it wasn’t, it was another elk. We got a little excited thinking we were about to see these two elk go at it to see who gets to take the herd of doe home, but I stopped once I put it together. Why did the doe seem so afraid then?
Then I saw another elk and another and another all just staring at the protective elk.
But then to our shock all the elks began to stand. On two legs.
Now sometimes deer will do this as a protective or displaying behavior of superiority, but these elk were not.
The protective elk began to show more aggression attempting to scare them off.
My friend whispered to me. “What the hell is this, I’ve never seen this before in my life.”
My friend has been hunting for over 15 years from Alaska all the way to Colorado and parts in the East coast. A seasoned man who didn’t scare easily but I could tell this freaked him out.
The group of bipedal elk just stood there and then they all bolted towards the Elk and the elk charged them at the same time. Managing to impale two of the elks but he was outnumbered, and the elks didn’t use their antlers but began to bite the elk with what looked like jagged sharp fangs.
It was horrible. They then they circled the elk and just looked up to the moon and made these god-awful gurgling noises
It looked like some sort of F’d up ritual.
We decided that we should leave and began to grab our things to leave. I’m positive that we were too far for anyone to hear but I sweat as soon as we moved one of the deer stopped and looked right at us.
And that’s when we nopped out of there, we ran all the way to the truck hoping we didn’t run into those elks or whatever the hell those things were. I have seen deer display hostile behavior but never like that.
We were rushing to throw our stuff and sped out onto the dirt road. We got about 1/4 a mile away when we noticed a giant log blocking our path that wasn’t there before.
My friend said: “dammit we have to move it”
Luckily, we had a chainsaw in the back, and he cut some of the log away so we could move it. But God those logs were heavy, when we got to the last of the log my friend said, “help me move it!” I joined in, and we both lifted the last of the log out of the way out we noticed something on the road. It was one of those deer. Just standing looking at us. We backed up towards the truck my friend not even caring to grab the chainsaw and I swear it opened its mouth and said “hhe hhe-hel-help me moo-move iiiit”
It was distorted but sounded exactly like my friend.
We just ran to the truck from there and we hit the gas and this deer just ran towards the truck and hopped on the front and then the top of the truck and I’m just shitting bricks at this point and attempt to grab the shotgun from under the seat when my friend says “hang on” and just hits the brakes hard and this deer just goes flying off the truck and he quickly speeds around it .
We stayed at a hotel after driving 2 hours straight back to civilization.
Honestly, I believe deer just have some messed up ways, but I really don’t know what they were but I’m positive they weren’t deer, I don’t know what they were.
Part 2
I figured I’d mention this since I didn’t add it to my previous post.
These experiences I had forever changed my perspective on the woods and I questioned whether I should ever step foot in the woods again. I don’t know why I attract these experiences but part of it motivates me to keep going to share what I see.
This other story was a time I went out with a friend to explore. We were in the backcountry just exploring and I suddenly saw this weird structure. My friend decided we should check it out and we saw this stone-like structure covered in moss and it must have been there for decades. What was weird though it had this rectangular structure that had a door, the door was perfectly preserved as if someone just installed it. No rust on the door handle or any weather damage, it’s like it came fresh out of the store.
I went to get a closer look and I was about to try to open the door when my internal gut feeling was screaming to me that something was wrong and we should not be here, and extreme sense of fear flooded my entire being and my hair on the back of my neck stood up.
My friend told me “What’s wrong?”
I told him “Maybe we should just go”
And he said “we can’t just leave now let’s at least see what’s inside”
Just as I fought my fear off and went for the handle the door began to creak open and I felt something was just VERY wrong, and I think my friend just instinctively knew we had to run, and we just got the hell out of dodge.
We returned with more people and armed to the teeth to try the door again.
But we couldn’t find the structure anywhere despite me marking this area on my map before we even attempted the door.
I always wondered what would have happened had I opened that door….
This next one I was camping with my old roommate, and we were enjoying the night and headed to bed soon after our fire was put out.
Around 3 am I had to piss so I went to the tree at the edge of our campsite
I heard movement after I finished and thought it was my friend having to do the same as me. A few feet away I gave him the okay hand sign and he gave it back
But the way his fingers moved just looked …wrong
I thought maybe I was just tired and headed back to my tent.
The following morning, we made breakfast and I mentioned to him how I drank too much the night before and don’t like having to piss at night but at least I wasn’t the only one who had to go.
My friend looked confused by that last part and said “what do you mean only one? “
I told him: “you don’t remember? We went to pee at the same time.” Then I showed him the okay gesture that I gave him last night to jog his memory and he just told me: “dude I didn’t get up at all last night…”
A chill ran up my spine and I just played it off that I was dreaming.
I don’t know who or what that was last night, we never saw anybody out there and I checked around the campsite after breakfast for footprints, saw mine but nobody’s where I thought I saw my friend the night before.
This next one is like the previous one, but I was camping with my girlfriend at the time. We had a great night doing you know couple of things and then in the middle of the night I had to piss. Did my business at a nearby tree, and then I heard my girlfriend calling my name, in the woods. I figured she had to go to and just wanted to have some privacy. Maybe she needed toilet paper and forgot, as I went to the tent to grab a roll, I heard her call my name again then said help me.
I thought about going over to her but went to grab the roll anyway because I didn’t want to go out there then she tells me she needs the toilet paper. As I opened the tent, I just stood there surprised, my girlfriend was sound asleep still. So, who was calling my name?... I heard my name again but louder and my girlfriend's voice saying “COME HERE NOW”
I just decided to go in the tent, and just laid there silent, not sure what to do. I didn’t hear anything for the rest of the night and passed out after the surge of adrenaline just put me out.
I didn’t tell my girlfriend about it, and just told her we had to cut the trip short because I forgot I have a paper to write.
This Last one happened in 2019. I took a drive on a forest road about 45 mins in. Parked near this trailhead and took off to the trail.
I was admiring the flora and fauna and just going on a normal hike when I noticed my vision completely changed as if I was looking through prescription glasses that weren’t mine. The vegetation changed and it was daylight when I was hiking but now it was dark as if sunset just passed.
This happens almost instantly. It was like I was in a completely new environment.
I then felt something graze my shoulder, it was a hairy arm, like the one you’d see from an ape or Bigfoot, and it was about to grab me, but I managed to take a step back, and I just see the hand grab where my neck would have been. I felt this sudden sense of dread and just began to backpedal and after a couple of steps, my vision went back to normal. The sunlight returned as well as the flora and fauna. I just saw a fuzzy-like outline in a circular shape in front of me from where I just stepped out of, and it eventually disappeared the more steps back I took.
I just stood there completely shocked about what just happened and came to my senses as my internal red flags were going off and I just turned around and ran to my truck and got out of the area. I never had this happen to me before and it thankfully hasn’t happened since. Since this happened, I have never gone hiking alone again.
To end this off, I just want to add that I enjoy the woods and nature it is full of beauty and wonder. But there are things out there…things even the natives knew to stay away from. There are things out there, that don’t care about you, or that you have families, or loved ones. I still go out to the woods, but after that last experience, it took me a long time to get the courage to go out there again. I never go out for solo hikes anymore, and if I can’t go with someone, I always take my dog. Thanks for hearing my stories and I’ll be sure to share any future experiences I have.

Im in the Pacific Northwest of the USA. Near Portland Oregon. The bodies of 7 women have been recently found in wooded areas. This is no way a CA should be notified by news outlets. Weve got enough to worry about.

Some coworkers at my fully remote company are planning to visit Portland for a few days in September.
The goal is to cowork together at a location during the weekdays, and do group activities and explore the city in the evenings.
My main question: Where should they/we stay? (I'm in Camas, so not far away.) People definitely want to go to food trucks and Powell's, but I imagine that hotels in or near downtown are more expensive than ones further out.
Suggestions for places that offer good group rates? Particularly if they're near a coworking space that does the same.

Jesi had never been in a hotel before certainly not one as fine as the one Mr Ericson took her and Damion too. They had a suite all to themselves it had two bedrooms connected to a living room, and kitchen. The hotel room was larger then the apparent she used to share with her mama all those years ago. Damion shared a room with Mr. Ericson but for the first time in her life Jesi had a room all to herself. She thought it would feel secure, but she still slept with a knife under her pillow. Still the bed was so soft she felt like it was going to swallow her alive every night. Her nights were one thing but the days were another thing entirely, they were a whirlwind activity. First there was the image coach, a person that Mr. Ericson hired to find a way to make sure Damion and Jesi, both looked nicer then street kids but were still comfortable. Then there was the mountain of paper work and explanations of how her life would change once she signed the papers. Mr. Ecrison said that the press had heard there was an heir to the O’Connal empire but they didn’t have her name or face yet. He was hoping that meant they would have a quite arrival when their plane landed in upstate New York.
He realized he was wrong the moment they entered the airport. Mr. Ericson was shocked to see the number of reporters swarming the gate. He cursed under his breath he’d been so careful he’d even gone out of his way to ask O’Connal’s business partner Constance Karington if they could borrow her family’s private jet to fly the girl in under the radar. With a sigh he squared his shoulders and looked at the two young adults behind him. “You both need to stay quite they will snap photos, shout questions, and shove whatever kind of recording devices they have practically down your throats for a sound bite. Do not give them one.” Mr. Ericson commanded as he lead them toward the crowd. Airport security was already attempting to hold the crowd back. The instant the crowd caught sight of Jesi flashes began to blind them all while the questions started flying
“Miss Jahari is it true you never knew your father?”
“Miss Jahari are you going to sell the company?”
“Miss, Jahari how does it feel to be Cinderella?”
Jesi was proud of herself for not pulling her knife on any of the reporters at the airport. She didn’t like people in general and she certainly wasn’t used to crowds surrounding and recording her. Mr Ericson parted the crowd as best he could and then shoved both Jesi and Damion into a waiting black sedan, with a driver. A short ride later and the small black sedan pulled up to a set of iron gates in the center of a brick wall that surrounded a mansion as big as a castle. The street in front of the wall however was filled bumper to bumper with cars parked on the curb. As the black sedan they were in pulled up to the gates people mobbed the car banging on the windows shouting questions making it hard for the car to move. Mr. Ericson pushed a button on his phone and the gates swung inward admitting the car the driver moved forward slowly through the throng as the gates swung shut behind them. The car pulled up to the front of the house and an older matronly type woman, came rushing out, as Mr. Ericson opened Jesi’s door.
“Ah, let me look at you!” the woman cried out in a thick Irish accent as she looked at Jesi.
“Jesminda Jahari this is your father’s maid and cook Mrs. Mable Mcguil, she has served your father’s family since before I can remember.”
“Aye, your mother must have been a beauty. Why just look at ya! You did get yer Father’s hair though I see, and his eyes.” Mable said as she reached out to brush a strand of red hair from Jesi’s face
“You knew my father?’ Jesi asked
“Knew him? Why I helped his mother raise ‘im I did. Kindest boy you’d ever want to meet. Ack, but he did he ever have a stubborn streak.” Mable added with a laugh
“Mable, my dear, I know you want to get to know Miss Jahari but that’s better left inside I think as the wolves are snapping pictures at the gate.”
“Ack, of course where are my manners, get in here all of ye.” Mable said as she turned to lead the way into the house. Mr. Ericson handed Damion and Jesi the 2 small carry on bags worth of clothes they’d purchased a few days ago, and motioned the two of them to follow Mable inside while he took his own bag from the trunk.
Jesi stepped wide eyed into the large foyer, the floors were a black and gold marble. The walls were a pristine white, with a stair case on either side curving up to the open second floor but what drew Jesi’s eye was a large painting hanging on the wall between the stair cases. A small family of three with a rather severe looking man with blonde hair standing tall a woman beside him with red hair gave anyone who entered a warm welcoming smile. The boy in the front drew jesi in he was around 7 at the time of the painting. Red hair green eyes but the happy smile he gave didn’t quite make it to his eyes. Jesi walked toward the painting staring at the child.
“That’s your father.” Mabel said walking up beside Jesi. “I remember that day clear as a bell yer grandfather insisted on a family portrait sitting. Ah, but yer father little scamp that he was was having none of it. All he wanted was to go out and play in the yard. The artist finally got yer grandfather to agree to take a photo to make the painting off of. As soon as he was free Conner went out and rolled through the grass in that fancy suit you see ‘im wearing. Aye but yer Grandfather was in a snit for days over the grass stains.”
“This house is massive.” Jesi said looking around the foyer.”
“Ah, but we do agree on that. To the left You’ll find the kitchen, dinning room, ballroom, bathroom, den, and living room. Through the right door you’ll find the home theater, another bathroom, library, office, gym and indoor pool. Upstairs there are nine bedrooms each with their own on suite bathroom, And the master bedroom has exclusive access to it’s own balcony. The third floor contains the greenhouse conservatory and excellent views.”
“So many rooms for only three people.” Jesi marveled turning a slow circle around the foyer.
“Yes, that was yer Grandfather for ye. The man insisted on showing the world how successful he was by getting the best of everything privet jet, fancy yacht, all the cars, the house. Yer father was a much simpler type He would have been happy with a one room apparent in the city. That’s why he never replaced the privet jet after the crash. He didn’t see a need, said if he was gonna fly it could be commercially, with real people.”
Jesi stood staring at the painting tears burned the back of her throat, as waves of emotion beat at her. Her father sounded like such a good man she wished she could have known him, but right on the heels of that she was so angry, her father lived in such excess while she and her mother had scraped by on nothing. Yet according to Ericson her father had never known that she existed her grandfather had lied to her father to her mother. Jesi choked back the tears and clung to the only emotion that had kept her alive for so long. Anger. “I hate them.” she ground between clenched teeth.
Mabel’s face fell she seemed to be hoping for a more joyful reaction from Jesi, but to her credit she didn’t try to talk the girl out of her pain either. Damion walked over and placed an arm around Jesi’s shoulders. “Mrs. Mcguil, is there a room we can go to for rest and a little privacy?” Damion asked
As soon as the door to the large guest bedroom drifted shut behind them Jesminda let her real feelings be known. She broke into deep sobs and fell into Damion’s arms.
“I don’t- I can’t- How could he- How could they-” Jesi started so many sentences but the jumble of emotion stampeding through her.
“Easy Jes, take a breath.” Damion tried as he held her.
“Why am I morning a man I never met? A man who abandoned me?” Jesi started
“Because he didn’t abandon you not on purpose Jes.”
“I want to hate him. I need to hate him, Why can’t I hate him?” Jesi sobbed
“Your right Jes it’s not fair. None of this is fair. It’s a lot to take in, and neither of us have taken the time to really process this.”
“In the hotel he didn’t seem real, but now… He was my father, and I never knew his name.”
“I know, Jes, it’s not fair.”
“He was stolen from me!”
“Yes he was.”
“This whole life was stolen from me!” Jesi hiccuped
Damion just held her and let her cry. There was so much for them both to process. Jesi was now one of the richest women in the nation, and she had insisted that Damion share her home as the brother he’d been to her since the day they’d met.
Jesi spent the rest of the day in the guest room that was now her bedroom with Damion bouncing between sorrow and anger like a rubber ball. Eventually she cried herself to sleep. Damion had just eased her into the plush bed, when a soft knock sounded on the door.
“Hey, uumm.” Damion stammered he wished he could remember the maid’s name.
“Mabel deary. How is she?” Mabel asked as she tried to look past Daion towards Jesi.
“She’s sleeping.” Damion said protectivily blocking to door.
“I mean her no harm.” Mabel said gently
Damion winced and tried to force himself to relax “Sorry, I know you don’t it’s just…” He trailed off at a loss “I’ve protectd her since she was five. Its just really hard to let that go.”
“Ye love her then?” Mable asked
“Of course.” Damion stopped and then a thought occurred to him “Oh! Oh you mean! No, no we’re not like that. She’s basically the sister I -” he stopped.
“Yer sister?”
“The crash that took my parents. It also killed my five year old sister Amy. Three days later I met Jesi, she looks nothing like Amy, but she was the same age and well I guess I wanted to protect her the way I couldn’t protect my family.”
“Ack, ye poor dear.” Mabel said with tears pooling in her eyes. “She’s safe here though, not a sole can get past the walls without setting off the alarms.”
Damion stiffened “Jesi, doesn’t like loud noises. Not since her mother was shot.”
“She was there?” Mable asked
“I thought Mr. Ericson would have told you?” Damion asked in confusion
“No, he told me who she was and that her mother had been killed but nothing else.”
“Yeah, she was there, her mom had to take her to work that night and, she says all she remembers is her mom stuffing her in a cabinet then she heard someone yell for the manager then the shots.”
“My God! Did she see anything?”
“No the officer on the scene worked really hard to make sure she didn’t see anything, But she’s been really jumpy ever since.”
“Ack, the poor dear. Well it seems there’s nothing more You and I can do for her til she wakes come I’ll show ye to yer room you must be tired as well.”
“I-I can’t leave her I’ll just stay here with her.”
“She’s safe here. Your safe here. You need rest too.”
“And I’ll get it right here beside her.”
“Ye’ve taken care of her for thirteen years, Ye’ve earned a rest and so has she.”
“We rest better together.”
“I’m sure ye do, and you’ll be ale to hear her through the wall if there’s trouble.” Mable encouraged
“I-”
“Yer both safe. She’ll be fine.”
Damion reluctantly followed Mable from the room. Mable made a show of taking a key from her pocket and locking the door to the room she explained that she was the only one with a key to unlock the bedroom doors but that all door could be locked or unlocked from the inside.
The next morning Mable opened Jesminda’s door with a cart of food behind her. “Good moring Miss Jes-” Mable froze as Jesi lept from the bed a knife brandished in her hand it’s tip nearly rested on Mabel’s neck
“Sorry,” Jesi said as she lowered the knife. “Force of habit.”
“Well, I will say that’s a new way to get the blood runnin in the mornin.” Mabel said with a giggle “Is there a reason ye have a knife on ye?”
“I’ve slept with a knife since I was sixteen.”
“And ye haven’t cut yerself?” Mable tried to joke
“No, Sargent Mullens trained me and Damion how to defend ourselves.”
“Sargent Mullens?” Mable asked
“He was staying at the first homeless shelter we crashed at after leaving the home. I was young inexperienced in street life and so excited to have my first shower in weeks I wasn’t careful enough. After I walked into the ladies room a man grabbed me from behind. He clamped his hand over my mouth and put a knife to my throat. I tried to scream to struggle while he cut my clothes off. Sargent Mullens heard the struggle and rushed in. He pulled the man off before anything happened and called for help. The man tried to cut Mullens but he dodged the blade, disarmed him, and held him until the folks that ran the shelter arrived. He told them to bring the guy to the police for sexual assault. After he helped me and Damion disappear when the police showed up and then taught us how to survive on the streets we stayed with him for about 4 months, until he disappeared.”
“That must have been hard on ye both.” Mable said
“It’s life on the street.”
“Jesi!” Damion called out as he rushed into the room.
“Ah and that saves me the trouble of bringing breakfast to ye as well.” Mable said as she motioned to the cart behind her. “I didn’t know yer preferences, so I, well, I made yer Father’s favorites. Bacon, sausage, pancakes, as well as some fruit a selection of juices and, aspirin.”
“How did you know I have a headache?” Jesi asked
“I’ve spent more then a night or two crying meself te sleep. I know the headache ye wake with in the morin all to well. OOP!” Mable said as she pulled her phone from her pocket. “And it seems that Ericson has arrived for the day with company not far behind. Best ye eat up and prepare seems as though yer in for yoru first dose of Constance.”
“Heellloo, Constance Karington,” The tall blonde woman in her early twenties stepped up to Jesi and offered her hand “Your sister.”
“I have a sister?” Jesi asked
“No, you do not.” Ericson answered.
“Oh not a biological sister but Conner was like a second father to me.” Constance said
“That makes one of us.” Jesi griped under her breath
“Oh look at you aren’t you a vision well besides that scare on your neck but don’t you worry my step-mom knows a great plastic surgeon we’ll have that gone in days.”
Jesi rested a self conscious hand over the knife scare on her collar bone.
“I wish you had consulted with me Ms. Karington, Miss Jahri’s schedule is full today.”
“Oh, so I cleared my entire morning of running my very successful company to hang out with my new sister for nothing” Constance protested actually pouting at Ericson.
“I believe you’ll find the company belongs to both of you Ms. Karington, and as I Said if you’d checked with me I could have told you that Miss Jahari’s scheduled is full this morning.”
“Oh come on I’m sure you don’t need a stuffy old man telling you what to do Jesi. You don’t mind if I call you Jesi do you?” Constance’s words dripped with sugar.
“Actually I do mind.” Jesi wasn’t buying Constance’s act for a second. “And Ercison has a full day planned.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do with an open morning Ericson?” Constance tried again
“Since your so keen to have family time I suggest you go connect with your brother.” Ericson suggested
“I suppose I could find Skyler but I look forward to dinner tonight Jesminda.” Constance commanded
“I will contact your office and arrange for a dinner in a few weeks then.” Ericson offered.
“I look forward to it.” Constance said with a smile as she turned to go.
“Oh Ms. Karington I would like to know how our confidential flight itinerary was leaked to the press.” Ericson asked
“Oh right, I have talked to my pilot about that rest assured he’ll be disciplined for his loose lips. Ta.” Constance tossed over her shoulder as she left.
“Who was that?” Damion asked when the door closed behind Constance
“Constance Karington, she is the co CEO of O’Connal and Karington Enterprises.”
“Isn’t she kinda young to be a CEO?” Jesi asked
“She was a child prodigy she graduated high school early and earned her MBA by the time she was 20. Two years ago she convinced her father to entire and hand over his half of the company to her.”
Constance slammed the front door to her family’s home. And let out a frustrated scream.
“I take it your plan to get Cinderella to sign the papers was a bust?” her brother Skyler appeared at the top of the stairs.
“I thought you’d still be sleeping.” Constance griped
“I was until you slammed the door quite rude if I’m honest sister dear.” Skyler, said with a lazy drawl
“Well, tell whoever your current girlfriend is I’m sorry to have disturbed her.” Constance replied with a forced smile
“You can drop the loving sister routine Constance I’m alone today.”
“For once.” Constance laughed sarcastically. “What do Nora find you flirting with a waitress?”
“Her name was Ashley and no, she asked for commitment, and you know I don’t do commitment.”
“Hm. Yet another doe eyed debutante that thought she could marry New York’s most eligible bachelor?”
“Yes you’d think they’d know better by now don’t they all talk?”
“Brother this may surprise you but the world does not actually revolve around you.”
“And it doesn’t serve you sister dear. A fact it seems ‘Cinderella’ reminded you of today.” Skyer gloated
“That company is mine! Conner promised it to me! Then that worthless brainless rat shows up and takes everything from me!” Constance shouted.
“I’m not sure Cinderella showed up isn’t more like Connor hunted her down?”
“Cinderella?” Constance said as a calculating smile slid on to her face
“That look never bodes well.” Skyler observed
“Well, every Cinderella needs her Prince Charming doesn’t she.”
“As I understand it she came with hers did she not?”
“The street rat no he’s more a brother to her as I understand it, but you Brother dear are currently between lovers at the moment.”
“Ha! Don’t even try it. Your little Cinderella is no where near my type.”
“Oh please, she’s beautiful, rich, and a woman that’s exactly your type.”
“Hardly, once a street rat always a street rat!” Skyler objected
“I don’t care, you will romance her get her so infatuated with you that when you tell her it’s in her best interst to sign over the company she’ll comply.”
“And if it can’t.”
“Then you’ll keep it in your pants until you marry her! I will not let some brat swoop in and steal everything I worked my entire life to get!”
“You can’t make me do any of this.”
“Can’t I? Last I checked Brother dear I control your trust fund.”

Here are some meetups that are on the radar, both physical and virtual:

• Last Week, May 27

online

• Sunday, June 4, 9:00a MDT: Thrive, casual discussion on zoom verify

Arizona

• Monday, June 5, 7:00p MST: Phoenix, casual meetup at Coffee Rush at 1555 N Gilbert Rd #107 in Gilbert. Check link for notes.

Idaho

• Sunday, June 4, 10:30a MDT: Idaho Falls, casual meetup at Panera Bread at 2820 South 25th Street E. verify
  
• Sunday, June 4, 11:00a MDT: Pocatello, casual meetup, location dependent on weather
  

Oregon

• Sunday, June 4, 10:00a PDT: Portland, casual meetup at Coava Coffee Roasters at 1300 SE Grand Ave

Utah

• Sunday, June 4, 10:00a MDT: Downtown Salt Lake City, Pride Parade.
  
• Sunday, June 4, 10:00a MDT: North Utah County, casual meetup at Harmons at 1750 W Traverse Pkwy in Lehi. Combining AF/Saratoga Springs/Lehi meetups at new location; check link for notes.
  
• Sunday, June 4, 10:00a MDT: Provo, casual meetup near the Starbucks inside of the Marriott Hotel at 101 West 100 North verify
  
• Sunday, June 4, 10:00a MDT: Utah Valley, casual meetup at Vineyard Grove Park 350 N 100 E. in Vineyard. Check link for notes.
  
• Sunday, June 4, 1:00p MDT: Salt Lake Valley, casual meetup at Bingham Junction Park at 1085 River Reserve Court in Midvale.
  
• Sunday, June 4, 1:00p MDT: St. George, casual meetup of Southern Utah Post-Mormon Support Group at Switchpoint Community Resource Center located at 948 N. 1300 W. verify
  
• Sunday, June 4, 2:30p MDT: Davis County, casual meetup at Harmons at 200 Station Pkwy in Farmington. Meet in the cafe upstairs. verify
  

Wyoming

• Saturday, June 3, 10:00a MDT: Rock Springs, casual meetup at Starbucks at 118 Westland Way verify

Upcoming week and Advance Notice:

• Sunday, June 11, 11:00a MDT: "The Good Book Club," virtual meetup for Ex/Post/Nuanced mormons to read and discuss other good books. For details contact HoldOnLucy1. Upcoming book: "Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone" by Brene Brown.
  
• Sunday, June 11, noon PDT: Sacramento, casual meetup at Urban Roots at 1322 V Street.
  
• Idaho Falls ...first Sunday
  
• Las Vegas
  
• Salt Lake Valley Religious Transition Group, next meeting: June 11
  
• Salt Lake Valley postmos
  
• Seattle
  

JUNE 2023

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JULY 2023

Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
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Beginnings of a FAQ about meetups:

• rules for publicizing a meetup on reddit platform
• what happens at these meetups?
• solidified50 gave some general advice for starting a meetup and keeping it going.

Public opinion of TriMet's decisions have been pretty mixed, mostly because TriMet's decisions are so convoluted that they can be a real challenge to understand. In reality, Metro and Portlanders need to have a bigger civic conversation about the future of TriMet, looking at the big picture. We have 3 looming existential crises of TriMet to be concerned about that are bigger than revenue dips, crime, or homeless people.
Civic leaders and the public are focused on a quick "fix" for TriMet revenue drops - even though we've seen this coming for a long time, it's very predictable that TriMet's Board of Directors acts at the last minute. Also, very predictably, TriMet's Board opted for a fare increase because over the previous 20 years that's been a go-to answer to every problem (except for that one time they killed Fareless Square). The politically appointed boards of TriMet and Metro lack the unique specialized knowledge of the issues I'll bring up here. If TriMet knows about these larger issues, they're obviously burring it from public view. In the short term, increasing fares is like putting fresh paint on a house that's on fire; in this situation, that paint is HIGHLY flammable.
First - fare hikes as a tactic is a brain-dead move. Just the most utterly stupid and self-sabotaging response to a looming budget shortfall. I'm dwelling on this because it illustrates their terrible decision-making, which is functional proof they have no idea what they're doing. Some of the core reasons for this:

• Increasing fares reduces utilization. Higher cost means fewer people ride, which will decrease the ridership revenue. It will also marginally increase the number of people who won't pay (funny story, some of those who don't pay actually can't afford to). TriMet isn't a monopoly or inelastic service, and plenty of other choices exist that didn't exist 20 years ago: an actual bike share, scooters, electric bikes, UbeLyft, shared vehicles, and more bike paths. Before the pandemic, it was common that I would bus into downtown for work and then take a Lyft home because it wasn't all that expensive, like $8 more than a bus ride - TriMet's price increases make a system that wasn't very competitive simply less compelling.
  
• Across Portland we need to go through a process of austerity and downsizing government. I absolutely support Wheeler putting a pause on rate increases, but for God's sake, we have far too much largesse in every layer of government. If you need to learn what I'm talking about, read my old article on Parks & Rec. So many divisions/agencies have doubled their staff while reducing service levels. It's bonkers. Cutting throats needs to be an imperative. This is because the great majority of public sector employees in Oregon and Portland are incompetent, redundant, and only exist because Oregon and Portland have been reluctant to use automation. And I don't mean the cutting-edge AI stuff, I'm talking about people who still handle business processes as if they're paper forms. I could tell so many stories from my professional experience - but you'll have to take my word for it for now: culling this bureaucracy is the right move, and until there's a significant downsizing, the political class is taking none of the financial crisis or cost of living situation seriously.
  
• TriMet's operating budget/revenue is primarily Payroll Taxes, not passenger revenue. About 20-30% of TriMet's budget comes from people buying fares, whereas the bulk of money TriMet needs comes from payroll taxes that businesses pay directly. Because of this, transit activists (including myself) have been proponents of increasing the payroll taxes marginally to make TriMet free for riders. Of course, fareless transit comes with a wide variety of new and different problems (that's an article for another time). Still, when you understand that only a sliver of revenue comes from fares, increasing the fare simply results in a marginal increase in revenue. The much bigger problem is going to businesses investing outside of Metro, and changing workforces that 1) won't pay payroll taxes reliably, 2) don't need people to go into the office. Think about the longer-term game here: is TriMet's board going to increase fares as utilization drops and payroll taxes continually diminish? (See my point above about how their default answer is "yes" because it's the only politically expedient answer.)
  

Reading comments about the fare hikes, most of the public thinks TriMet is dealing with a safety or utilization issue. Both of these are 100% true: soft-on-crime progressives have wholly obliterated the working class perception of TriMet safety - there are so many different ways this has happened, but we should thank so many people in the media and political class: Ana del Rocio's crying wolf about racism in fare inspections (and the media entertaining it), or Mike Schmidt deinstitutionalizing of the justice system, or Legislature's inability to act on the massive mental health crisis and drug addiction crisis in Oregon. No matter the underlying cause, we have a system where deranged violent mentally ill tweakers can be disruptive on the train, but working-class people face a $250 fine if they can't afford a $2.50 ($2.80) ticket. TriMet is less safe, especially the light rail and bus lines. We could hypothetically talk about various policy and infrastructure changes, such as turnstiles and security guards - but pragmatically, this won't do shit when our society has adopted a philosophy of transforming the urban core into an open-air insane asylum and opened the doors to the prisons. This safety issue is well beyond TriMet's scope, and even if there was consensus among TriMet and Metro to solve this, the entire justice system and Legislature is still broken.

Fare Hikes and Utilization is the Red Herring - Let's talk about TriMet's future

In reality, multiple design choices made decades ago set us up for failure. But we also have to thank brain-dead progressive lunatics and corrupt politicos who have steered our transit decision-making into the ground.
There are three specific issues I'm going to talk about, with each becoming more consequential and disastrous for TriMet:

• Hub and Spoke Design and the need for a redesign of the entire system to fit new commuting/transit patterns
  
• Portland Light Rail's short cars are a capacity problem not worth the price tag to fix
  
• Autonomous vehicles are here, and it's just going to get worse for TriMet
  

The strategic design of TriMet's system is broken, and it's been broken before.

If you looked at a map of TriMet's bus and rail system, you'd see a design pattern often referred to as a "Radial Design" or sometimes a "Hub And Spoke" design. The Hub and Spoke strategy is building our transit system around centralized locations to connect to other routes. For Portland the idea is to go downtown (or sometimes a Park and Ride) where you can connect to your next destination. This is why the majority of bus routes and all the max routes go downtown, to our Transit Mall and Pioneer Square.
Downtown planning was a smart idea in the 1960s when it was coupled with Main Street economic theory and prototype urban development zones - all of this wrapped up in the 1972 Downtown Plan policy. During these decades, the primary economic idea of urban revitalization was that downtown cores could provide better business climates and shopping districts that amplify economic activity synergistically. In other words, packing all the office jobs and luxury shopping in one area is good for workers, business, and civic planning.
All very smart ideas in yester-year, so TriMet became focused on serving the downtown business community myopically. This myopia became so paramount that it was considered illegitimate (actually taboo, borderline illegal) if you used a Park & Ride facility to park and NOT ride downtown. Amanda Fritz once explained that we couldn't expand Barbur Transit Center because that would result in students parking at Barbur Transit Center and riding the bus to PCC Sylvania. This view implies that TriMet exists only to service downtown workers, not the students, not the impoverished mom needing to go to a grocery store.
How does TriMet's hub and spoke design represent its purpose?
Portland's unspoken rule of transit philosophy is that jobs pay for the system (remember, business payroll taxes pay for most of it), so TriMet should be focused on serving people utilizing it for their job - employers pay for it, and they get value out of it. But this is both unspoken (never said aloud) and largely unobserved. The whole idea of TriMet as a social service to serve low-income people, to help impoverished people - well, those ideas were just lukewarm political rhetoric that is tossed out as soon as some Undesirable with tattered clothing reeking of cigarettes gets aboard - then Portlanders jump right back "this is for workers only!" Sadly, there hasn't ever been a public consensus of why TriMet exists because I could equally argue that TriMet's purpose isn't serving the working class; it's actually vehicle emissions reductions - but here, too, reality contradicts that this is the purpose for why we operate TriMet. TriMet's real purpose seems to be "Spend money on lofty capital projects" and if we want to be cynical about it, we can elaborate "…because large capital projects enable grift, embezzlement, and inflating property values for developers."
We haven't always depended upon a hub and spoke design. A great article from Jarrett Walker written in 2010 on his Human Transit blog explains in "The Power and Pleasure of Grids"

Why aren't all frequent networks grids? The competing impulse is the radial network impulse, which says: "We have one downtown. Everyone is going there, so just run everything to there." Most networks start out radial, but some later transition to more of a grid form, often with compromises in which a grid pattern of routes is distorted around downtown so that many parallel routes converge there. You can see this pattern in many cities, Portland for example. Many of the lines extending north and east out of the city center form elements of a grid, but converge on the downtown. Many other major routes (numbered in the 70s in Portland's system) do not go downtown, but instead complete the grid pattern. This balance between grid and radial patterns was carefully constructed in 1982, replacing an old network in which almost all routes went downtown.

Over the years the grid pattern was neglected in favor of a downtown-focused investment strategy. To a real degree it made practical sense: that's where the jobs were. But again, this is the presumption that TriMet and Mass Transit ought to service workers first, and there's not much consensus on that. But while we can't decide on TriMet's purpose, we can absolutely agree on one important thing: Downtown is dead.
No 5-star hotel is going to fix it. (As of writing, I'm not even convinced that this mafia-connected bamboozle of public fraud will open.) No "tough-on-crime" DA to replace Mike Schmidt, like Nathan Vasquez, will fix downtown. It's not JUST a crime problem: most of the problems we deal with today mirror the problems facing Portland in the 1960s, especially our inability to invest in good infrastructure people actually want to use. That's on top of crime, vandalism, and an unhealthy business ecosystem.
IF we want to maintain TriMet (and that's a big IF, for reasons I'll explain below), then it will be focused on something other than downtown. We need to move back to a grid-design transit system, as this is a much easier way to use transit to get around the city, no matter your destination. If TriMet continues to exist and operate fleets in 20-30 years, this is the only way it exists - because it will just be too inconvenient to ride downtown as a side quest to your destination, especially as we look at 10, 20, 30, 40 years from now.
Of course, we can only transform some parts of the transit infrastructure this way, and there are no uplifting and moving train tracks here. So light rail doesn't have a future in the grid system - but even without the grid system, light rail is doomed.

The fatal flaws of light rail in Portland.

I want to preface this by saying I like light rail as a strategy, it's not a bad system or bad civic investment. I could write another 5,000-word essay on why Seattle did an excellent job with light rail and the specific decisions Portland made wildly incorrectly. In transit advocacy the wacktavists inappropriately categorized skeptics of Portland's light rail as some soft bigotry - as if you're racist if you don't like Portland's light rail - even though, ironically, most light rail systems tend to be built for the preference of white culture and white workers, precisely what happened here in Portland and most cities (but this is all a story for another time).
Portland's light rail system has a capacity problem and has dealt with this capacity problem quietly for the last 20+ years. When you see the capacity problem, you can quickly understand this light rail system won't work in the future. All the other smart cities in the world that designed light rail realized they needed big long trains to move many people. Portland decided to limit the train car length to the size of our city blocks to save construction costs - and this has always been a fatal flaw.
Portland's highest capacity train car is our Type 5, according to Wikipedia it has a seating capacity of 72 and an overall capacity of 186 per train car, meaning each train can accommodate up to 372, but even these numbers seem unreliable (*edit). Let's compare:

• Washington DC has 6-car trains capable of carrying 120 passengers per car, or 720 per train.
  
• Salt Lake City has a 4-car train capable of carrying 230 passengers per car, or 920 per train.
  
• Seattle's Link system has a 3 or 4-car train, each capable of carrying approximately 200 passengers per car, so 600 to 800 per train.
  

Portland's light rail lines have roughly the same people moving capacity as a single lane of a highway, maybe marginally more, maybe marginally less. These other cities have a light rail system that can move the same amount of people as an entire 3-lane highway.
You might suspect that Portland could simply run trains more frequently - but nah, that's impossible because the trains run through the central core of downtown Portland, and they're blocked by the real interfaces with road traffic and bottlenecks. TriMet/PBOT/Metro has offered rosy ideas that we could hypothetically run cars every 90 seconds, 2 minutes, 4 minutes, or 6 minutes (depending upon who you ask) - but these are garbage numbers invented out of thin air. For example, you could stand at Pioneer Courthouse Square at 4:50pm on a Wednesday in 2016 - there was a train opening doors to load passengers, and you could visibly see the next train at Pioneer Place Mall pulling into the station behind. Trains were running at approximately a 3 to 4 minute at peak - but on paper, TriMet will claim anything, as they don't give a shit about lying to the public. But the bigger problem is that trains were full. You might have to wait 90 minutes to find a train that offers a seat. And god forbid you had a bike.
I'm not making this very real capacity problem, Metro even acknowledges:

At the busiest hours of the day, 40 light rail trains must cross the river and traverse downtown – one train every 90 seconds. As the region grows and the demand for light rail increases, the region will need at least 64 MAX trains through downtown every hour, more than one train each minute. Our current system can't support that change.

Suppose you're silly enough to trust government propaganda. In that case, you can read the details of Metro study on this in 2019. If we assumed their numbers added up, it's just fucking impossible to run 62 trains per hour, because passenger loading and unloading can take a full minute (sometimes longer). So unless we want to apply substantial g-forces onto the passengers, the train isn't accelerating out of the stops fast enough. Not to mention how unreliable this whole system would be if a sole tweaker, bike rider, or person with a stroller held up the system for 2 minutes.
This is why the bottom line needs to be upfront about capacity - quoting Metro's study here:

Today MAX is limited to 2-car trains because of the length of downtown city blocks. A tunnel could allow for longer trains if the stations outside the downtown core are retrofitted. In the long-term, this could greatly increase MAX capacity.

Do you see that trick? Build a tunnel, yes - but the entire system has to be retrofitted. Literally every light rail station would need to be redesigned, the lines themselves recalculated for larger heavier trains - and extending platforms at Willow Creek might be simple enough, but how in the living fuck is Metro going to afford to expand the Zoo stop? Doubling the size of that platform would cost $500 million alone.
If the city weren't full of cheap dipshits, we would have elevated or buried our light rail lines in the 1980s or 90s, enabling longer train cars to run. Yes, we all knew back then that it was the best practice not to have light rail running on the street - it's less safe, less reliable, runs slower, and limits train car size. Oops.
Just to keep TriMet's own bullshit inflated utopian vision, it would mean spending another billion dollars just to unfuck downtown, bypass an aging bridge, and potentially allow a marginally higher volume of trains - which again is a band-aid on a mortal wound.
The real buried lede is that to add extra train cars means retrofitting all the stops in the system - that's tens of billions of dollars. You can argue costs, but Metro knows we need to do this. It means shutting down the system for a year or years while construction and retrofits happen. It's fucking outrageous. Is this system worth of people per line worth 20, 30, or 40 billion dollars? Fuck no, it ain't. Again, if we had a raging metropolis of industry and commerce downtown, we could reasonably entertain the idea for a moment - but we don't and never will again.
Some folks might argue that if we kill off the light rail system we'd lose out on all those lucrative Transit Oriented Developments. Originally the public was told that Transit Oriented Development strategy would cause a massive infusion of private investment because the light rail was so damn lucrative and desirable for Richard Florida's Creative Class. Turns out the Creative Class is now called today the Laptop Class, and they don't give a flying fuck about street cars, light rail, or walking scores - because most can't be bothered to put pants on during their "commute" from bed to desk. TOD was all a fantasy illusion from the beginning, as multiple studies about Portland commuters showed that college-educated white folks riding Max were equally comfortable riding their bike as a substitute for the same commute. All of these billions of dollars was to accommodate white fare-weather bikers. So here's my hot take on transit: pave over the rail lines and put in bike lanes, and boy, then you'd have a bike system to give folks like Maus a hardon. But of course, Bike Portland would complain because their focus isn't biking; they exist only to favor all poorly thought utopian transit ideas.
Another group of Max/TOD advocates would claim that TOD is better for disabled and impoverished people. And yeah, there's truth there, but see my entire argument above about the Hub & Spoke design of TriMet being the antithesis of transit as a social service. If you believe that TriMet should serve low-income people, you must advocate for a bus-centric grid design.
But even if you're a die-hard believer in light rail - there's another inevitable reality coming that is the nail in the coffin.

Autonomous vehicles will replace mass transit faster than the automobile replaced the horse.

I work in advanced technology, and the thing about tech is that the public and politicians deny that it's going to be there until the majority of the public finally experiences it. You could say this about personal computers, internet, cloud compute, electric cars, smartphones, distributed ledger (cryptocurrency), AI, and driverless vehicles.
Schrodinger's technology doesn't exist until it's measured in an Apple store or your mother asks you for tech support.
No one thought AI was really real until ChatGPT did their kid's homework, and today most people are coming to terms with the fact that ChatGPT 3.5 could do most people's jobs. And that's not even the most advanced AI, that's the freeware put out by Microsoft, they have paywalls to access the real deal.
In 2018 I rode in my colleague's Tesla in self-driving mode from downtown Portland to Top Golf in Hillsboro. We started our journey at the surface parking lot on the west side of the Morrison Bridge. He used his phone to tell the car to pull out of the parking spot and to pick us up. Then he gave the car the address, and it drove us the entire way without any human input necessary. The only time he provided feedback was to touch the turn signal to pass a slow car on the highway. People think self-driving isn't here - but it is - and it's gotten exponentially better and will continue to do so. People will complain and moan about idealized, utopian, pedantic "level 5" full self-driving, how none of it exists or could exist, as a Tesla passes them on the road and the driver is half asleep.
Of course, Portland and every major city have also thought deeply about self-driving technology, and a few places have implemented self-driving solutions - but so far, none of these are really at scale. Though it will be a short time before cost-conscious cities go all-in.
TriMet kicked around the idea of using an autonomous bus for a leg of the trip of the Southwest Corridor project, connecting a segment of the light rail route to the community college. It was bafflingly stupid and short-sighted to think they could use it in this niche application but that it wouldn't open the floodgates for a hundred different applications that eviscerate TriMet's labor model. The simplest example of autonomous operation would be to operate the light rail systems - because they don't make turns, all we need is an AI vision service to slam on the breaks if necessary - that technology has existed for 20+ years. We could retrofit the entire train system in about 3 to 6 months - replace every Max operator with a security guard, and maybe people would ride the Max again? But I digress.
Let's speculate about the far-future, some 5, 10, or 20 years from now: your transit options will expand significantly. The cost will decrease considerably for services using automated vehicles.
You'll look at your options as:

• Drive to work: fastest, takes $100+ worth of gas a month, but you also need $50+ for insurance and $500+ for the monthly car payment, plus those surprise maintenance and broken windows. Also, do you pay for parking? Pick a number for how much it costs to drive your personally owned and manually operated vehicle to work each month.
  
• Autonomous vehicle service: price TBA, but think of how much an Uber costs when you don't have to pay the driver, you don't have to pay for gas. An Uber that runs for $20 today would likely be $10 or less. So, to and from work 20 times a month, $200. $300? Ok, let's just say it's $400 a month. It's still all cheaper than owning a car and driving it to work. No parking fees, and it picks you up quickly enough that it's not a nuisance.
  
• Mass Transit: $150 per month, but ugghhh it's slow, it smells like piss, a guy jacked off in your hair, and you can't schedule a meeting for the first 30 minutes of your anticipated workday in case you miss a connection - and it breaks so often the government actively hides the reliability data from the public and media.
  

Just a few years into this future we'll see a brand new trend, one that already exists: a shared autonomous vehicle like a privately operated bus. For example, Uber Bus - it already exists as a commuter option in some cities, it's just not autonomous yet. The significant benefit of an autonomous bus is that these shared vehicles will utilize HOV lanes very commonly, and commuting in an autonomous vehicle will be as fast as driving to work in your manually operated car while also being less expensive.
Simultaneously automobile accidents in autonomous vehicles will be virtually non-existent, and insurance companies will start to increase prices on vehicles that lack AI/smart assisted safety driving features. Public leaders will see the value of creating lanes of traffic on highways dedicated explicitly to autonomous vehicles so that they can drive at much higher speeds than manually operated traffic. Oregon won't lead the way here, but wait until Texas or one of the Crazy States greenlights a speed limit differential, and self-driving vehicles have a speed limit of 90, 120, or 150 miles per hour. You might think "accidents would be terrible and deadly" but there will be fewer accidents in the autonomous lane than in manual lanes. At this point, it will be WAY faster to take an autonomous vehicle to your work.
Purchasing power of consumers will decrease while the cost of vehicles will increase (especially autonomous vehicles), making ownership of any vehicle less likely. Frankly, the great majority of people won't know how to drive and will never learn to - just like how young people today don't know how to use manual transmission. However, fleets of autonomous vehicles owned by companies like Tesla, Uber, and Lyft will benefit from scale and keep their autonomous bus fleets operating at low cost. This will lead to a trend where fewer and fewer people will own an automobile, and fewer people even bother learning how to drive or paying the enormous insurance cost.... while also depending upon automobiles more than we do today.
Eventually, in the distant future, manually driven vehicles will be prohibited in urban areas as some reckless relic from a bygone era.
Cities and public bodies don't have to be cut out of this system if they act responsibly. For example, cities could start a data brokering exchange where commuters provide their commuting data (i.e., pick-up point, destination, arrival time). The government uses either a privatized fleet or a publicly owned fleet of autonomous vehicles to move as many people as possible as often as possible. Sort of a publicly run car-pool list - or a hyper-responsive bus fleet that runs for the exact passengers going to exact locations. A big problem companies like Uber, Lyft, and Tesla will have is that they'll lack market saturation to optimize commuting routes - they'll be able to win unique rides, but the best way they can achieve the lowest cost service model is these super predictable and timely commuter riders. The more data points and riders, the more optimization they can achieve. These companies can look at the data for as many people as possible and bid for as many routes as possible - optimizing for convenience, time, energy usage, emissions, etc. The public will voluntarily participate if this is optimized to get the cheapest ride possible. If the government doesn't do this, the private sector will eventually.
As a parallel, no one today even considers how Metro runs garbage collection. No one cares. And if you didn't like Metro's trash service, if you needed a better service for unique needs, you go procure that on your own. Likewise, you wouldn't care about the quality of the commuting trip as long as it's up to some minimal standards of your class expectations, it's reliable, nearly as quick as driving your own vehicle, and it seems reasonably affordable.
If the public ran this data exchange, fees could subsidize lower-income riders. This is a theory on what a TriMet like system or mass transit system could look like in a primarily autonomous world where most people don't own their own or drive an automobile.
This system would be far from perfect, opening up all sorts of problems around mobility. However, it's hard to see how autonomous vehicles will not obliterate the value proposition of mass transit.

Another narrative on the same story.

As the working class moves to autonomous vehicles, transit agencies will collect fewer and fewer fares - prices and taxes will rise, creating a cycle of failure. As a result, some cities will make buses self-driving to cut costs. It could start with Tokyo, Shanghai, Oslo, et al. Again, it's unlikely that Portland or Oregon will be the first movers on this, but when cities start laying off hundreds of mass transit operators and cutting fares to practically nothing, there will be substantial public pressure to mimic locally. It will be inhumane, it will be illiberal, to make those impoverished bus-riding single mothers pay premiums. As most of the fleet becomes autonomous, responsive, and disconnected from labor costs, the next question arises: why do we still operate bus routes? Why big buses instead of smaller and nimble vehicles?
This alternative story/perspective leads to the same outcome: we figure out where people are going and when they need to get there - then dispatch the appropriate amount of vehicles to move that exact number of people as efficiently as possible.
But our local government getting its act together on all this is outside the world of possibility.
In a practical sense, we're going to see history repeat itself. Portland's mass transit history is about private and public entities over-extending themselves, getting too deep in debt on a flawed and outdated idea. As a result, the system collapses into consolidation or liquidation. Following this historical pattern, TriMet/Metro won't respond to changing conditions fast enough, and laughably stupid ideas like cranking up taxes or increasing ridership fares will continue to be the only option until the media finally acknowledges these groups are insolvent. I just hope we don't spend tens of billions of dollars propping up this zombie system before we can soberly realize that we made some mistakes and these vanity-laden projects 20 and 30 years ago need to die.
You see, the biggest flaw with TriMet isn't the design, it needs to be outpaced by technology, it's that the people making decisions at TriMet and Metro are going to make the politically expedient decisions, not the right decisions. They won't redesign, and they won't leverage technology for cost savings, so this charade will just get going along until the media simply declares they're insolvent.
Back to fares for a second - the media happily reprints TriMet's horseshit take about "The higher fares will bring in an estimated $4.9 million in annual revenue starting next year, the report says." Just sort of amazing to me there's no skepticism about this number - but most spectacular is no media considerations about alternative solutions. For example, I could tell TriMet how to save $9,548,091 next year - a useless program primarily utilized by white middle-class folks who own alternative methods of transport - and this would inconvenience way less transit-dependent people than raising fares. But, that's off the table - we're not even developing a decision matrix for when we kill the blackhole of money known as WES.

** Fri 6/2 *\*
Fri 4 PM Rave Cave Grand Opening 121 7th St. NW NM Rave Cave and ASTRL Entertainment are teaming up to bring you the Ultimate Rave Experience at our Grand Opening! We have a stacked lineup with @ myriceiscooked, @ lisalsamusic_ and @ geezydubzz. Complete with Ticket Giveaways and other surprises. Don't forget to head to Revel ABQ after for the Perry Wayne & Sqishi show too! *** TICKETS ARE FOR SHOW AFTER GRAND OPENING ***
Fri 4 - 7 PM RANA & OffCenter Arts Fashion Show & Clothing Swap Washington Middle School Park, 1001-1099 Park Ave SW Join the Raynolds Addition Neighborhood Association (RANA) for the launch of their Summer Series of events at the newly named, Bennie Hargrove Park! In partnership with OffCenter Arts, DowntownACD, ABQ Artwalk and CABQ Parks & Rec bring your friends, family, and pets to our Fashion Show & Clothing Swap! Live music from RANA resident, DJ Infinite Kiss. Food truck: Carnitas Las Chanclitas. So many ways to join in the community fun! Not into modeling? Come out and watch the show! Browse the clothing swap! Support a local food truck! Stop by on your way to the rest of ABQ Artwalk! All are welcome- come meet your neighbors (click link for more info about fashion show and clothing swap)
Fri 5 - 8 PM Country Dance CSP Dance Studios, Get ready to kick up your heels and have the time of your life at our upcoming country dance! We've got an amazing lineup of social dances including 2-step, East Coast Swing, West Coast Swing, Night Club 2-step, and more. Come show off your best moves and have a blast with us. See you there! $10 at the door cash or check. Welcome Lesson included with entry from 6:00-6:30pm
Fri 5:30 - 8 PM Workout & Wine *Ladies Night\* BFit505, 11816 Central Ave SE Ladies! Happy Hour Workout at the Box! What to expect: Introductions, Warm Up, Workout, Cool Down, and Hang Out! NonAlcoholic options will be made available. It's going to be a great night! Only happens once a year- so don't miss out. Just $5 to join in on the fun! (more info and RSVP)
Fri 6 PM Three movies, one park Balloon Fiesta Park, 9401 Balloon Fiesta Pkwy NE We've collaborated with the City of Albuquerque to bring 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐚: 𝐒𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 to the Balloon Fiesta Park! We're showing three movies for this event: Jaws, Luca, and Aquaman. This event is completely free, but please note that seating is on a first come, first served basis. Gates open at 6 pm and the movies begin at dusk (all at the same time). Food trucks and vendors will be on site, and we're also offering free parking. Moviegoers may bring blankets, lawn chairs, and personal food or drink items. Absolutely no alcohol, no glass, no pets (service animals only), no sharp or dangerous items, or video recording devices allowed. For additional details, call our hotline at (505) 314-0477. We'll see you at the movies!
Fri 6 PM Milonga Del Corazon Tango in Bloom, 3409 Central Ave NE Join Tango in Bloom and Mila's Mesa for an evening of delicious food and dancing! DJ Fer will be bringing the tandas, you bring your shoes and lets dance! $15 cover cover includes a glass of wine or a botanical beverage. Please RSVP if you plan to come so that we can get a head count for the food. Thank you!
Fri 6 - 7 PM Yoga with Cats Catopia Cat Cafe, 8001 Wyoming Blvd. NE, Ste C5 Please visit catopiacatcafe.com to reserve your spot! $20/person. Please bring a yoga mat and a sense of humor!
Fri 6 - 8:30 PM Zoo Music - Pixie and the Partygrass Boys ABQ BioPark, 903 10th St. SW Bring the family to Zoo Music during the summer to enjoy performances by national touring entertainment. Plan to spend an evening with wildlife, food, music and fun. Hailed as “the hottest band in the Wasatch” by the Intermountain Acoustic Music Association, Pixie and The Partygrass Boys is composed of lifelong professional musicians drawn together by a common love of bluegrass and skiing in the Wasatch. Featuring soulful, often harmonic vocals and solid strings and rhythm, this tight-knit crew was born out of the belly of a warm cabin after a long day on the slopes- drinking whiskey and singing into the night. With a high energy sound and a love for silly outfits, they travel the land spreading the gospel of whiskey, chickens, and fun for everyone. Dusk is one of the more active times for animals and a great time to learn about the Zoo’s conservation initiatives. Check out the variety of animal exhibits open during Zoo Music! Doors open at 6 PM. Music starts at 7 PM (tickets)
Fri 7 PM Divination Nation Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Join us for a night of entertainment and witchery. There will be numerous local entertainers personifying the Major Arcana as well as readings done by Off Grid Creations. This show is “Pay What it’s Worth”— Suggested Cover is $10, VIP available for $20 (gift bag and reserved seating). Free parking, food and drinks, indoor and outdoor seating. See you there!
Fri 7 PM Vibestrong Album Release Party! Insideout, 622 Central Ave SW (Reggae / Rock influenced band from ABQ) Help us celebrate our debut album ‘These Mountains’ with special guests Dre Z, Amanda Machon, and Keith Sanchez! DJ’s Supremo Funk and Jimmy Djembe! Let’s Party!
Fri 7 PM Movies in the Park - Strange World Rotary Park, 370 Rotary Park Rd., Bernalillo MOVIES IN THE PARK is back this SUMMER! We will feature a different movie at our local parks every FRIDAY night in June. Movies will begin at sundown and we will serve popcorn for free! Bring your lawn chairs, blankets, and beverages. All movies are FREE! In the case of inclement weather, movies will be cancelled
Fri 8 PM June Tunes with The Burque Jazz Bandits Echoes, 3131 Gold SW Jive into June with a drop of Jazz and a glass of happy served up by Jake. $10 cover at the door and it ALL goes to the band! And that's not all- Bring your top Bandit requests because you'll be helping us build the set list for the evening!
Fri 8 - 9:30 PM Casa Flamenca -The Best Flamenco Tablao Shows 401 Rio Grande Blvd. NW Casa Flamenca exciting live performances with artist in residence from Spain. Come and live the experience, The Best Flamenco in the USA! known for the artistic quality and authenticity of their flamenco productions, Casa Flamenca is excited to bring you special guest artists-in-residence from Spain: internationally acclaimed flamenco guitarist Juani de La Isla, flamenco singer from el Puerto Santa Maria, Cádiz, Sebastian Sanchez, Flamenco bailaora and living legend from Seville, Spain, Carmen Ledesma and From Madrid the incredible bailaor Alejandro Granados. This is a tablao performance not to miss and where magic will happen! (tickets)
Fri 8 PM - 12 AM Brazilian Night Juno, 1501 1st St. NW It's time for the ABQ Brazilian community to get together and PARTY (tickets)
Fri 8 PM - 1 AM Leftover Soul ft. Morning Remorse Sister, 407 Central Ave NW Leftover Soul is back! DJ Morning Remorse is coming out from Portland, OR with a bag full of 45s to join DJ Leftovers. This all vinyl soul dance party has been happening in downtown Albuquerque for almost a decade. With DJ Leftovers at the helm Leftover Soul is always a funky good time. This month’s guest DJ is Morning Remorse: “The best selector other selectors select.” He been moving Portland people for years, known for digging up little known soul, psych and fuzz records. Purveyors of vinyl platters Slolow Vinyl Records will be popping up as well. Guaranteed excellent selection of LPs and 45s. Come get down! Fri 9 PM Chatter Late Works ChatterAbq, 912 3rd St. NW Doors Open at 8:15. General Admission: $15. Scott Wollschleger Denny’s, Luke Gullickson Pasacalle NM-59 for octave violin, Georg Friedrich Haas Solo for viola d’amore, Nico Muhly Etudes for viola, David Lang Mystery Sonatas for violin, David Felberg violin, octave violin, viola, viola d’amore. Cash Bar provided by Rumor Brewing
Fri 9 PM - 2 AM Pride Kick Off Party Night 1 - Starring Kerri Colby Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE Join us for Albuquerque Prides Kick-Off Weekend as we get started with the largest drag show in town! (tickets)
Fri 10:30 PM Part V of Third Saturday in October, an 80s slasher tribute screening w/ producer & art director! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE Check out the trailer. Dir. Jay Burleson - 2023 - 89m - ALL SEATS $8. BONUS - PRODUCER FRANK CRAFTS AND THE ART DIRECTOR ELLAR COLTRANE (OF BOYHOOD FAME!) WILL BE IN PERSON FOR TALK/Q&A! It’s Part V. Unstoppable killer Jakkariah “Jack” Harding is back in town after seven years, as he stalks and kills at random before chancing upon a football watch party. The game is, of course, between longstanding rivals the Alabama-Mobile Seahawks and Tennessee A&M Commonwealth. Chaos ensues, in increasingly ridiculous fashion, with inventive murders and multiple love triangles. Hearts are broken and appendages are torn
** Sat 6/3 *\*
Sat 7 AM - 12 PM Garage Sale and Craft Fair 5620 Laredo Rd. NE, Rio Rancho All proceeds will be going to the nonprofit Standing n the Gap Anchoring Young Adults. You can either donate items to be sold, or if you choose to sell your item or crafts - renting a space will be a flat fee of $25. Come join the fun, get really good deals!
Sat 8 - 11 AM Run for Mercy Hoffmantown Church, 8888 Harper Dr. NE Join us for our annual Run for Mercy 5k run/walk to support Mercy Multiplied and New Mexico for Mercy. When you Run for Mercy, you help people walk in FREEDOM! Whether you prefer to run or walk, all our welcome! This is a family-friendly and pet-friendly event. We love and welcome all the support! Mercy Multiplied exists to provide opportunities for all to experience God's unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power (register)
Sat 8 - 11 AM First Saturday Clean Up Painting Day! Historic Fairview Cemetery, 700 Yale Blvd. SE The first Saturday of each month, volunteers come to Historic Fairview Cemetery to help improve the grounds and appreciate this local historical treasure. For this event on June 3, we are going to tackle painting over graffiti on the cemetery walls. We'll provide the paint, brushes, paint trays and other supplies, you provide the arm power! Water and snacks will also be provided. Directions to find us in the cemetery: At 700 Yale Blvd. SE, enter through the gates of Fairview Memorial Park, near the intersection with Caesar Chavez Blvd. Drive straight ahead toward the cemetery office. At the intersection, turn left and head north into Historic Fairview Cemetery. It's just to the left of the wall that says Congregation Albert Cemetery
Sat 8 AM -12 PM Los Ranchos Art Market! Los Ranchos Art Market, 6718 Rio Grande NW Looking for something to do with friends or family at NO COST? Come see us every Saturday! All products are beautifully handcrafted by our very talented local artisans right here in the Land of Enchantment. Located in the same area is our local growers market with produce, food, and music for the whole family (fur babies are always welcome too!) Plenty of free parking! Free admission! Beautiful park for the kiddos to play and burn some energy! Wide open space to enjoy and unwind! We'll see you there! Tell all of your friends! Like and share, spread the word! and as always, thank you for supporting our local businesses!
Sat 9 - 10:30 AM Yoga along the river Tingley Beach Dock, 1800 Tingley Dr. SW Featuring, Stephanie Bilal & Michael Guzzio. This 90 minute class will begin with Michael leading us through breath work, followed by Stephanie guiding us through a yoga flow, ending with a guided healing meditation (tickets)
Sat 9 AM - 12 PM Annual Bus Stop Cleaning Uptown Transit Center, 2298 Indiana St. NE ABQ RIDE is looking for volunteers to help staff pick up trash and clean bus stops along the Central corridor in preparation for upcoming summer events. Breakfast burritos and cleaning equipment will be provided. Our event will begin at the Uptown Transit Center and teams will spread out to beautify our transit system in the heart of our city!
Sat 9 AM - 1 PM Summer Maker Market FUSE Makerspace, 101 Broadway Blvd. NE, Ste 3100 Join us and support local during our next Maker Market! This event is FREE and open to the public to shop for gifts and gadgets from local makers and have the opportunity to make some of your own!
Sat 9:30 AM - 1:30 PM Spidey-Fest Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Swing into the Spider-Verse at our Spidey-Fest! Help us celebrate the opening of the sequel with activities, party favors, and a special appearance by Miles Morales himself! (tickets)
Sat 10 AM - 1 PM Stitch's Sewing Service Indian Motorcycle of Albuquerque, 4509 Alameda Blvd. NE "Stitch" will be here to sew on your patches, hem your chaps, and make repairs! Don't worry, if you miss her this time, she'll be back another time. OR! Drop off your items and she'll let you know when they're ready. **Please note: Stitch's Sewing Services is not affiliated with Indian Motorcycles of Albuquerque. Stitch is coming here as her own company so please direct all questions for her. Thanks!
Sat 10 AM - 5 PM Antique Tractor Show Corrales Recreation Center, 500 Jones Rd., Corrales Antique tractors and cars. Presenting farm tractor progression over 80 years of farming. Free admission
Sat 11 AM - 1 PM Devon Sandoval Signing Session New Mexico United, 3500 Central Ave SE, Ste 2 Kicking off Devon Sandoval Night with a signing session at the Team Store. Stop by to meet Dev and be one of the first to get our limited edition Dev Tees!
Sat 11:30 AM - 1:30 PM Friendship Bracelet Fiesta Color Wheel Toys, 6855 4th St. NW Stop by and learn how to make a special, easy twisted friendship bracelet – no prior skills needed. Make a few for your favorite friends. This activity is best for kids ages 5+ due to the fine motor skills needed, but a younger kid and a parent could team up to learn
Sat 12 PM Community Swap Hosted By YUCCA Earth Care, 6600 Valentine Way, Santa Fe (it's not ABQ, but it's FREE) Share food, clothing, and small household items. For furniture: send a photo to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) so we can post it on our SWAP board. If you would like to volunteer or help with the Swap/Shop, please let us know! Bring things to offer and take the things you need/want. EVERYTHING IS FREE. MASKS REQUIRED. YUCCA will be holding a SEED BOMB WORKSHOP! Seed bombs serve as an essential tool for guerrilla gardening. These inconspicuous and compact pellets can be effortlessly tossed to initiate growth, allowing you to plant effortlessly and anywhere, without requiring extensive time, physical exertion, or attracting unwanted inquiries. Engaging in this practice holds numerous advantages. By cultivating wildflowers, you contribute to the well-being of vital workers in our ecosystem, such as pollinators, thereby supporting the broader wild ecosystem. Additionally, these plants aid in soil stabilization and enhance their nutrient content. You will also learn how to make an upcycled bag!
Sat 1 - 6 PM Crawfish Boil Rio Bravo Brewing Company, 1912 2nd St. NW The 2023 Crawfish Boil features an outdoor dining experience where guests share 5 pounds of delicious food for a day of fun with friends and family. Eat and drink at Albuquerque’s favorite local brewery and enjoy a finger-licking good crawfish boil! Pair it with your favorite Rio Bravo brew and live music on the outdoor stage and you’ve got a perfect way to enjoy your Saturday in Albuquerque. 2023 tickets will be sold in TWO GROUPS to help all guests receive timely service. Ticket A: Guests arrive between 1pm-3pm to enjoy food and entertainment. Ticket B: Guests arrive between 4pm-6pm to enjoy food and entertainment. **LIMITED TICKETS AVAILABLE We encourage you and your friends and family to purchase early to ensure everyone is able to attend. **Each ticket is valid for 3 lbs of crawfish and 2 lbs of corn on the cob, potatoes, sausage and hard-boiled eggs. (5 lbs total) - Portions are good for 2-4 people
Sat 3 - 4 PM Summer Sours Seminar Marble Heights Brewery & Tap Room, 9904 Montgomery Blvd. NE Join us for an educational Summer Sour Seminar led by Head Brewer, Greg Dupy. Topics covered will include: • Barrel Aged Sours vs. Kettle Sours • Souring yeasts and bacteria • How sours are made and aged. Tickets are $20 a piece and include 4 exclusive tastings, a pint of beer and class discussions
Sat 4 - 5 PM East Coast Swing Group Class Enchantment Dancing, 337 San Pedro Dr. NE Welcome to our Bronze American East Coast Swing Class! Whether you are a newbie stepping on to the dance floor for the first time or a seasoned professional wanting to brush up on basics, as well as anyone in-between, this class is for you! East Coast Swing is an exciting, up-beat dance that is endlessly versatile! No partner necessary, and dropping in is fine! Class cost is only $10, and a punch card for 6 classes is $50
Sat 7 PM Burque BellyFest Gala Show Fusion ABQ, 708 1st St. NW New Mexico Belly Dance and Sirena Studio present Burque Belly Fest II Gala Show. Join us for a sparkly evening of dance highlighting our ‘Burque Belly Fest instructors and special guests. Proceeds from the Gala Show will benefit the New Mexico Belly Dance scholarship fund for dance students. Doors open at 6:30 pm. General Admission $20 advance ($25 at the door) ** NMBD Members $15 advance ($20 at the door) ** Due to limited capacity, please make your reservations ASAP **
Sat 7 - 10 PM Contra Dance Albuquerque Square Dance Center, 4915 Hawkins St. NE Monthly contra dances take place on the first Saturdays of every month. $9 for members, $10 for non-members. Check folkmads.org for bands and caller listings!
Sat 7:30 - 10:30 PM West Coast Swing Dance CSP Dance Studios, 1624 Eubank Blvd. NE Join us for a fun night of West Coast Swing dancing! Great music and a fun group of dancers. There will also be a little bit of Country Two Step and Night Club Two Step to mix things up. Come out and dance with us! No partner necessary. $5 SSNM Members, $8 Guests (non-members)
Sat 8 PM The Emo Night Tour Sunshine Theater, 120 Central Ave SW *21+* The greatest tribute night to the music that was never just a phase… (including this event, which has been raging all across the country since 2015 and is only getting BIGGER AND BETTER)! The Emo Night Tour DJ’s will be spinning all the angst your teenage dirtbag heart desires all night long and will make you feel like you’re at Warped Tour ‘08 minus all the dust and melting in the sun! So just imagine going to a show and hearing Taking Back Sunday, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, My Chemical Romance and many more, all only playing their best songs...all night long in a dance club atmosphere. These shows will be selling out and fast, so make sure to Tell All Your Friends and Sugar, Come Down!
Sat 10:30 PM Highway 51 (Late Night Showing) The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE Stankenstein will be presenting their second public showing of their movie "Highway 51." Come out for a LATE NIGHT SHOWING, bring your friends, get some popcorn and enjoy! Tickets $5 at the door
** Sun 6/4 *\*
Sun 7 AM - 12 PM Pizza with Sole - 2023 WisePies Pizza Run Mesa del Sol Support the Make-A-Wish Foundation of New Mexico! Choose a 1-mile fun run/walk or a timed 5k or 10k and join hundreds of partcipants on a beautiful day to support the community and children experiencing critical illness! All participants receive a FREE WisePies pizza, event t-shirt or tank top, runner bib, swag bag, entertainment, starting line warm-ups, local celebrity appearances, as well as LOTS of refreshments, snacks and sponsor booths (more info and register)
Sun 8 -10 AM summer solstice yoga celebration New Mexico School of Yoga, 4600 Copper Ave Yoga - Mantra - Meditation. A SUNday celebration for the SUN, Surya. The light is here! Long days, sunshine, outdoor time, and more mark the start of Summer! Summer Solstice is just 15 days away and it's time to activate and celebrate! A potent time is upon us. A summer solstice celebration practice to welcome the light and summer season. Enjoy a comprehensive offering of mantra, pranayama, movement, and meditation to welcome this special time of the year. Pranam – to bow and surrender. The heart – the seat of the Soul. Let us awaken the inner light as the Sun, the outer light shines bright. Join us for a special yoga class - all levels are welcome! (tickets)
Sun 9:30 AM 1st Annual Pedals & Pints Marble Brewery, 111 Marble Ave NW Pedals and Pints is a bicycling event for cyclists of all skill levels. Come adventure with us! Choose from 20 or 40 miles of cycling fun starting at Marble Brewery downtown and riding through Los Ranchos to Alameda Open Space and back (and down through Valle de Oro National Wildlife Refuge, for you 40 milers). Once back at Marble, snag your free swag and a discounted pint at our cyclists-only party on the Sky Deck. We recommend grabbing a Helles, the newest addition to The Lighter Side series of adventure lagers. Crisp and light, Helles makes the perfect companion on your next cruise. $50 per person, 21+ only (register here)
Sun 10 AM The Birdcage Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER along with Albuquerque Film & Music Experience is excited to bring The Bird Cage to the big screen! "We are family." Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission Come Early Brunch Starts at 10 am. Full Buffet Available for only $21. The ticket price is for entry to the movie only. Pajama brunch and a movie. Exclusive Brunch Menu! Made to order pancakes, mimosas and more. 10% off if you come in your pajamas
Sun 10 AM Community Shot Clinic Boofy's Best for Pets, 4610 Cutler Ave NE, Ste A Conveniently located right off San Mateo and I-40. Sign up today, walk ins are welcome but supplies are contingent on volume - we have sold out EVERY SINGLE CLINIC. Hosted by It's a Pawsitive Life Rescue
Sun 10:30 - 11:30 AM Mindful Movement - Yoga in the Park Academy Hills Park, 9709 Layton Ave NE Looking to get out more and be more active? Join us for a strengthening yet gentle flow. Bring your mat, yoga block, strap and water. Beginner friendly!
Sun 10:45 AM - 12 PM Jazz To Go Central United Methodist Church, 201 University Blvd. NE Pre-Service Jazz Set at 10:45am; Service Music at 11:00am. Linda Davidson Flute, Robert Lah Piano, Colin Deuble Bass, Jay Blea Drums
Sun 11 AM - 2 PM Metaphysical Market Intuitive Essentials, 504 14th St. NW Our annual metaphysical market is back! We welcome the community to join us for a memorable day! Come be a part of the exciting time! There will be food, live music, readings, massage, and local vendors with art, jewelry, and much more! Come get lunch with us Sunday and enjoy the market!
Sun 11 AM - 4 PM First Sunday Stroll Nob Hill Main Street Come support local business while discovering all that Nob Hill has to offer: a variety of pop up vendors, specials, workshops, and walkability. Explore the area on the first Sunday of each month and find some new favorite shops, eateries, classes, and fun!
Sun 11 AM - 5 PM Girl's Day Out! (and guys too!) 5907 Alice Ave NE Join us for a day of pampering, food and shopping! LOADS of vendors will be in attendance so there will be something for everyone! If you’ve ever wondered what these local or direct sales companies are and ever wanted to try these products, now is the time! By shopping these vendors, you're supporting our Albuquerque small business entrepreneurs. They’re all in one spot and a portion of your dollars spent goes directly to the over 130 cats and kittens of F.A.T. Katz!
Sun 12 PM Lowrider Super Show Albuquerque Convention Center, 401 2nd St. NW Enjoy a family environment event with beautiful cars, entertainment, local vendors, food trucks, and a car hop!
Sun 1 PM Summer Pool Party w/ Deucez Z Lounge, 3711 Central Ave SE Pool party w/ Deucez to celebrate the release of our Summer Clothing Line. Drink specials, games and giveaways all day. Come chill under the sun for those daytime pool party vibes! 21+ (tickets)
Sun 2 - 3:30 PM Family Day! Flamenco Works, As part of their summer series "Jesus Munoz Flamenco: En Cabaret", Flamenco Works presents a Sunday matinee show dedicated to families! This performance is similiar to the evening shows except it is geared towards young kids and families. Coming to life off the stage, kids will get the chance to meet the artists, learn to dance and sing Flamenco and have a viseral experience of Flamenco that they will never forget. Bring your whole family to enjoy a Flamenco performance that will leave everyone shouting ¡Ole! About the performance "Jesus Munoz Flamenco: En Cabaret": Flamenco Works, Inc. presents a vibrant, rich summer series featuring renowned artists from Spain and across the U.S. Included in this years' lineup is singer Migue "El Picuo" direct from Sevilla, Spain guitarist Jose Valle "Chuscales" from Granada, Spain and dancers Amalyah Munoz and Mariana Gatto, lead by Artistic Director, Jesus Munoz. Known for its explosive energy, fierce emotion, and deeply rooted community, "Jesús Munoz Flamenco: En Cabaret" is not to be missed! (tickets)
Sun 3 - 5 PM AND 6 - 8 PM Raiders of the Lost Ark Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Indy and his feisty ex-flame Marion Ravenwood dodge booby-traps, fight Nazis and stare down snakes in their incredible worldwide quest for the mystical Ark of the Covenant. Journey back to where it all began and relive the original adventure on the big screen again! (tickets)
Sun 3 - 6 PM Royal Tea La Luna Eatery & Events, 7600 Jefferson St. NE It's Royal-Tea time, invite your friends for tea, champagne and a fine dining experience unlike any other! Dating back to the 17th century a Royal Tea offers a glass of champagne or sherry in addition to the full afternoon tea menu! This event features live music, tea, champagne, fine dining, a photobooth and more! Join us today for two hours of comfortable elegance with family and friends as we give you the royal treatment in the most luxurious way possible! (tickets)
Sun 3 - 6 PM Pride Tea Dance Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE We're kicking off Pride 2023 with our Tea Dance Pride Edition! With DJ Rebel and Papa Sucia! We will bringing all the best dance music, drink specials and games! Let's start Pride Week off with a bang! No cover, free parking, indoor and outdoor seating. Every 1st Sunday of the month
Sun 4 PM Casino Night to benefit the NM Soccer Foundation! Vernon's Speakeasy, Join us for an unforgettable evening at the New Mexico Soccer Foundation Casino Night at Vernon's Speakeasy. This event promises to be a lively affair filled with drinks, games and a shared passion for soccer. Gather with Albuquerque's most dedicated soccer enthusiasts for a night of high-stakes excitement. Test your luck at our array of classic casino games, all while contributing to a remarkable cause. Remember, this isn't just about the thrill of the game; every dollar spent is an investment in our future soccer stars. 100% of the proceeds from the casino night will go directly to providing scholarships for youth soccer players, regardless of club affiliation, across New Mexico. Your contributions will help these young athletes stay on the pitch and continue their dreams, fostering their growth as players and individuals. REGISTRATION INCLUDES: Entry for 1 to the event, 2 drinks (full bar will be available at the event), Scrumptious buffet Vernon's style, $100 in casino play (more can be purchased at the event), Access to the silent auction stocked with fantastic items including a Vernon's VIP Membership, Mixology Class Series, Beautiful Art, and even TVs!
Sun 4 - 6 PM 17th Annual Sweet Jazz Benefit Concert Sandia Presbyterian Church, 10704 Paseo Del Norte Blvd. NE Join us for great jazz music, unique silent auction items, and tempting and delicious, sweet treats. All proceeds from this event benefit Family Promise of Albuquerque, and help further their mission to end child homelessness in Albuquerque (tickets)

There are instincts that you develop when you’re a parent. If you don’t have any children it might be a little hard to understand. If you have a toddler, for example, and they’re in the other room and silent for more than a few seconds, there’s a good chance they’re up to no good. I take that back, most of the time they’re doing nothing, but you still have to check. You feel a compulsion to check. I don’t think it’s a learned skill, I think it’s an actual instinct.
Paleolithic parents who didn’t check on their toddlers every few minutes, just to double check that they weren’t being stalked by smilodons were unlikely to have grandchildren and pass on their genes. You just feel you need to check, like getting goosebumps, a compulsion. I suppose it’s the same reason little kids are always demanding you look at them and what they’re doing.
I think that instinct starts to atrophy as your kids grow. They start learning to do things for themselves, and before you know it, they’re after their own privacy, not your attention. I don’t think it ever goes away though. I expect, decades from now, my own grown kids will visit and bring my grandkids with them. And the second I hear a baby crying in the earliest morning hours, I’ll be alert and ready for anything, sure as any old soldier who hears his name whispered in the dark of night.
I felt that alarm just the other day. First time in years. My boy came home from riding bikes with a couple of his friends. I’m pretty sure they worked out a scam where they asked each of their parents for a different new console for Christmas, and now they spend their weekends traveling between the three houses so they can play on all of them.
We all live in a nice neighborhood. A newer development than the one I grew up in, same town though. It’s the kind of place where kids are always playing in the streets, and the cars all routinely do under 20. My wife and I make sure the kids have helmets and pads, and we’re fine with the boy going out biking with his friends, as long as they stay in the neighborhood.
You know, a lot of people in my generation take some weird sort of pride in how irresponsible we used to be when we were young. I never wore a helmet. Rode to places, without telling any adults, that we never should have ridden to. Me and my friends would make impromptu jumps off of makeshift ramps and try to do stupid tricks, based loosely on stunts we’d seen on TV. Other people my age seem to wax nostalgic for that stuff and pretend it makes them somehow better people. I don’t get it. Sometimes I look back and shudder. We were lucky we escaped with only occasional bruises and road burns. It could have gone so much worse.
My son and his buddies came bustling in the front door at about 2 PM on a Saturday. They did the usual thing of raiding the kitchen for juice and his mother’s brownies, and I took that as my cue to abandon the television in the living room for my office. I was hardly noticing the chaos, by this point, it was becoming a regular weekend occurrence. But as I was just leaving, I caught something in the chatter. My boy said something about, “... that guy who was following us.”
He hadn’t said it any louder or more clearly than anything else they’d been talking about, all that stuff I’d been filtering out. Yet some deeper core process in my brain stem heard it, interpreted it, then hit the red alert button. My blood ran cold and every hair on my skin stood at attention.
I turned around and asked “Somebody followed you? What are you talking about?” I wasn’t consciously aware of how strict and stern my voice came out, yet when the jovial smiles dropped off of their faces it was apparent that it had been so.
“Huh?” my son said, his voice high-pitched and talking fast, like when he thinks he’s in trouble and needs to explain. “We thought we saw somebody following us. There wasn’t though. We didn’t really see anybody and we’d just spooked ourselves.”
“What did he look like?” I asked.
“Nothing? We really didn’t see anybody! Honest! I just saw something out of the corner of my eye! But there wasn’t really nobody there!”
“Yeah!,” said one of his buds. “Peripheral! Peripheral vision! I thought maybe I saw something too, but when I looked I didn’t see anything. I don’t have my glasses with me, but when I really looked I got a good look and there was nothing.”
The three boys had that semi-smiling but still concerned look that this was only a bizarre misunderstanding, but they were still being very sincere. “Were they in a car?”
“No, Dad, you don’t get it,” my boy continued, “They were small. We thought it was a kid.”
“Yeah,” said the third boy. “We thought maybe it was Tony Taylor’s stupid kid sister shadowing us. Getting close to throwing water balloons. Just cause she did that before.”
“If you didn’t get a good look how did you know it was a kid?”
“Because it was small!” my kid explained, though that wasn’t helping much. “What I mean is, at first I thought it was behind a little bush. It was way too small a bush to hide a grown-up. That’s why we thought it was probably Tony’s sister.”
“But you didn’t actually see Tony’s sister?” I asked.
“Nah,” said one of his buds. “And now that I think about it, that bush was probably too small for his sister too. It would have been silly. Like when a cartoon character hides behind a tiny object.”
“That’s why we think it was just in our heads,” explained the other boy, “That and the pole.”
“Yeah,” my son said. “The park on 14th and Taylor?” That was just a little community park, a single city block. Had a playground, lawn, a few trees, and some benches. “Anyway, we were riding past that, took a right on Taylor. And we were talking about how weird it would be if somebody really were following us. That’s when Brian thought he saw something. Behind a telephone pole.”
“I didn’t get a good look at it either,” the friend, Brian, “explained. Just thought I did. Know how you get up late at night to use the bathroom or whatever and you look down the hallway and you see a jacket or an office chair or something and because your eyes haven’t adjusted you think you see a ghost or burglar or something? Anyway, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned there wasn’t anything there.”
“Yeah, it was just like sometimes that happens, except this time it happened twice on the same bike ride, is all,” the other friend explained.
“And you’re sure there was nothing there?”
“Sure we’re sure,” my boy said. “We know because that time we checked. We each rode our bikes around the pole and there was nothing. Honest!”
“Hmmm,” I said. The whole thing seemed reasonable and nothing to be concerned about, you’d think.. The boys seemed to relax at my supposed acceptance. “Alright, sounds good. Hey, just let me know before you leave the house again, alright?” They all rushed to seem agreeable as I left the room, then quickly resumed their snacking and preceded to play their games.
I kept my ear out, just in case. My boy, at least this time, dutifully told me his friends were about to leave. He wasn’t very happy with me when I said they wouldn’t be riding home on their bikes, I was going to drive them home. The other boys didn’t complain, but I suppose it wasn’t their place, so my boy did the advocating for them, which I promptly ignored. I hate doing that, ignoring my kid’s talkback. My dad was the same way. It didn’t help that I struggled to get both of their bikes in the trunk, and it was a pain to get them back out again. My boy sulked in the front seat on the short ride back home. Arms folded on chest, eyes staring straight ahead, that lip thing they do. He seemed embarrassed for having what he thought was an over-protective parent. I suppose he was angry at me as well for acting, as far as he knew, irrationally. Maybe he thought he was being punished for some infraction he didn’t understand.
Well, it only got worse when we got home. I told him he wasn’t allowed to go out alone on his bike anymore. I’d only had to do that once before, when he was grounded, and back then he’d known exactly what he’d done wrong and he had it coming. Now? Well, he was confused, furious, maybe betrayed, probably a little brokenhearted? I can’t blame him. He tramped upstairs to his room to await the return of his mother, who was certain to give a sympathetic ear. I can’t imagine how upset he’ll be if he checks the garage tomorrow and finds I’ve removed his tires, just in case.
I wish I could explain it to him. I don’t even know how.
Where should I even begin? The town?
When I was about my son’s age I had just seen that movie, The Goonies. It had just come out in theaters. I really liked that movie, felt a strong connection. A lot of people do, can’t blame them, sort of a timeless classic. Except I wasn’t really into pirate’s treasure or the Fratellis, what really made me connect was a simple single shot, still in the first act. It’s right after they cross the threshold, and leave the house on their adventure. It was a shot of the boys, from above, maybe a crane shot or a helicopter shot, as they’re riding their bikes down a narrow forested lane, great big evergreen trees densely growing on the side of the road, they’re all wearing raincoats and the road is still wet from recent rain.
That was my childhood. I’ve spent my whole life in the Pacific Northwest. People talk to outsiders about the rain, and they might picture a lot of rainfall, but it’s not the volume, it’s the duration. We don’t get so much rain, it just drizzles slowly, on and on, for maybe eight or nine months out of the year. It doesn’t matter where I am, inside a house, traveling far abroad, anywhere I am I can close my eyes and still smell the air on a chilly afternoon, playing outdoors with my friends.
It’s not petrichor, that sudden intense smell you get when it first starts to rain after a long dry spell. No, this was almost the opposite, a clean smell, almost the opposite of a scent, since the rain seemed to scrub the air clean. The strongest scent and I mean that in the loosest sense possible, must have been the evergreen needles. Not pine needles, those were too strong, and there weren’t that many pines anyway. Douglas fir and red cedar predominated, again the root ‘domination’ seems hyperbole. Yet those scents were there, ephemeral as it is. Also, there was a sort of pleasant dirtiness to the smell, at least when you rode bikes. It wasn’t dirt, or mud, or dust. Dust couldn’t have existed except perhaps for a few fleeting weeks in August. I think, looking back, it was the mud puddles. All the potholes in all the asphalt suburban roads would fill up after rain with water the color of chocolate milk. We’d swerve our BMX bikes, or the knock-off brands, all the way across the street just to splash through those puddles and test our “suspensions.,” meaning our ankles and knees. The smell was always stronger after that. It had an earthiness to it. Perhaps it was petrichor’s lesser-known watery cousin.
There were other sensations too, permanently seared into my brain like grill marks. A constant chilliness that was easy to ignore, until you started working up a good heart rate on your bike, then you noticed your lungs were so cold it felt like burning. The sound of your tires on the wet pavement, particularly when careening downhill at high speed. For some reason, people in the mid-80s used to like to decorate their front porches with cheap, polyester windsocks. They were often vividly colored, usually rainbow, like prototype pride flags. When an occasional wind stirred up enough to gust, the windsocks would flap, and owning to the water-soaked polyester, make a wet slapping sound. It was loud, it was distinct, but you learned to ignore it as part of the background, along with the cawing of crows and distant passing cars.
That was my perception of Farmingham as a kid. The town itself? Just a typical Pacific Northwest town. That might not mean much for younger people or modern visitors, but there was a time when such towns were all the same. They were logging towns. It was the greatest resource of the area from the late 19th century, right up until about the 80s, when the whole thing collapsed. Portland, Seattle, they had a few things going on beyond just the timber industry, but all the hundreds of little towns and small cities revolved around logging, and my town was no exception.
I remember going to the museum. It had free admission, and it was a popular field trip destination for the local school system. It used to be the City Hall, a weird Queen Anne-style construction. Imagine a big Victorian house, but blown up to absurd proportions, and with all sorts of superfluous decorations. Made out of local timber, of course. They had a hall for art, I can’t even remember why, now. Maybe they were local artists. I only remember paintings of sailboats and topless women, which was a rare sight for a kid at the time. There was a hall filled with 19th-century household artifacts. Chamber pots and weird children's toys.
Then there was the logging section, which was the bulk of the museum. It’s strange how different things seemed to be in the early days of the logging industry, despite being only about a hundred years old, from my perspective in the 1980s. If you look back a hundred years from today, in the 1920s, you had automobiles, airplanes, electrical appliances, jazz music, radio programs, flappers, it doesn’t feel that far removed, does it? No TV, no internet, but it wouldn’t be that strange. 1880s? Different world.
Imagine red cedars, so big you could have a full logging crew, arms stretched out, just barely manage to encircle one for a photographer. Felling a single tree was the work of days. Men could rest and eat their lunches in the shelter of a cut made into a trunk, and not worry for safety or room. They had to cut their own little platforms into the trees many feet off the ground, just so the trunk was a little bit thinner, and thus hours of labor saved. They used those long, flexible two-man saws. And double-bit axes. They worked in the gloom of the shade with old gas lanterns. Once cut down from massive logs thirty feet in diameter, they’d float the logs downhill in sluices, like primitive wooden make-shift water slides. Or they’d haul them down to the nearest river, the logs pulled by donkeys on corduroy roads. They’d lay large amounts of grease on the roads, so the logs would slide easily. You could still smell the grease on the old tools on display in the museum. The bigger towns had streets where the loggers would slide the logs down greased skids all the way down to the sea, where they’d float in big logjams until the mills were ready for processing. They’d call such roads “skid-rows.” Because of all the activity, they’d end up being the worst parts of town. Local citizens wouldn’t want to live there, due to all the stink and noise. They’d be on the other side of the brothels and the opium dens. It would be the sort of place where the destitute and the insane would find themselves when they’d finally lost anything. To this day, “skidrow” remains a euphemism for the part of a city where the homeless encamp.
That was the lore I’d learned as a child. That was my “ancestry” I was supposed to respect and admire, which I did, wholeheartedly. There were things they left out, though. Things that you might have suspected, from a naive perspective, would be perfect for kids, all the folklore that came with the logging industry. The ghost stories, and the tall tales. I would have eaten that up. They do talk about that kind of thing in places far removed from the Pacific Northwest. But I had never heard about any of it. Things like the Hidebehind. No, that I’d have to discover for myself.
There were four of us on those bike adventures. Myself. Ralph, my best friend. A tough guy, the bad boy, the most worldly of us, which is a strange thing to say about an eight-year-old kid. India, an archetypal ‘80s tomboy. She was the coolest person I knew at the time. Looking back, I wonder what her home life was like. I think I remember problematic warning signs that I couldn’t have recognized when I was so young, but now raise flags. Then there was Ben. A goofy kid, a wild mop of hair, coke bottle glasses, type 1 diabetic which seemed to make him both a bit pampered by his mother, who was in charge of all his insulin, diet, and schedule, and conversely a real risk taker when she wasn’t around.
When we first saw it…
No, wait. This was the problem with starting the story. Where does it all begin? I’ll need to talk about my Grandfather as well. I’ve had two different perspectives on my Grandfather, on the man that he was. The first was the healthy able-bodied grandparent I’d known as a young child. Then there was the man, as I learned about him after he had passed.
There was a middle period, from when I was 6 to when I was 16, when I hardly understood him at all, as he was hit with a double whammy of both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer's. His decline into an invalid was both steep and long drawn out. That part didn’t reflect who he was as a person.
What did I know of him when I was little? Well I knew he and my grandmother had a nice big house and some farmland, out in the broad flat valley north of Farmingham. Dairy country. It had been settled by Dutch immigrants back in the homesteading days. His family had been among the first pioneers in the county too. It didn’t register to me then that his surname was Norwegian, not Dutch. I knew he had served in the Navy in World War II, which I was immensely proud of for reasons I didn’t know why. I knew he had a job as a butcher in a nearby rural supermarket. He was a bit of a farmer too, more as a hobby and a side gig. He had a few cattle, but mostly grew and harvested hay to sell to the local dairies. I knew he had turned his garage into a machine shop, and could fix damn near anything. From the flat tires on my bicycle to the old flat-bed truck he’d haul hay with, to an old 1950s riding lawnmower he somehow managed to keep in working order. I knew he could draw a really cool cartoon cowboy, I knew he loved to watch football, and I knew the whiskers on his chin were very pokey, and they’d tickle you when he kissed you on the cheek, and that when you tried to rub the sensation away he’d laugh and laugh and laugh.
Then there were the parts of his life that I’d learn much later. Mostly from odd passing comments from relatives, or things I’d find in the public records. Like how he’d been a better grandfather than a father. Or how his life as I knew it had been a second, better life. He’d been born among the Norwegian settler community, way up in the deep, dark, forest-shrouded hills that rimmed the valley. He’d been a logger in his youth. Technologically he was only a generation or two from the ones I’d learned about in the museum. They’d replaced donkeys with diesel engines and corduroy roads with narrow gauge rail. It was still the same job, though. Dirty, dangerous, dark. Way back into those woods, living in little logging camps, civilization was always a several-day hike out. It became a vulgar sort of profession, filled with violent men, reprobates, and thieves. When my grandfather’s father was murdered on his front porch by a lunatic claiming he’d been wronged somehow, my grandfather hiked out of there, got into town, and joined the Navy. He vowed never to go back. The things he’d seen out in those woods were no good. He’d kept that existence away from me. Anyways…
Tommy Barker was the first of us to go missing. I say ‘us’ as if I knew him personally. I didn’t. He went to Farmingham Middle School, other side of town, and several grades above us. From our perspective, he may as well have been an adult living overseas.
Yet it felt like we got to know him. His face was everywhere, on TV, all over telephone poles. Everybody was talking about him. After he didn’t return from a friend’s house, everybody just sort of assumed, or maybe hoped, that he’d just gotten lost, or was trapped somewhere. They searched all the parks. Backyards, junkyards, refrigerators, trunks. Old-fashioned refrigerators, back before suction seals, had a simple handle with a latch that opened when you pulled on it. It wasn’t a problem when the fridges were in use and filled with food. But by the 80s old broke-down refrigerators started filling up backyards and junkyards, and they became deathtraps for kids playing hide-and-seek. The only opened from the outside. I remember thinking Tommy Barker was a little old to have likely been playing hide-and-seek, but people checked everywhere anyway. They never found him.
That was about the first time we saw the Hidebehind. Ben said he thought he saw somebody following us, looked like, maybe, a kid. We’d just slowly huffed our way up a moderately steep hill, Farmingham is full of them, and when we paused for a breather at the top, Ben said he saw it down the hill, closer to the base. Yet when we turned to look there was nothing there. Ben said he’d just seen it duck behind a car. That wasn’t the sort of behavior of a random kid minding his own business. Yet the slope afforded us a view under the car’s carriage, and except for the four tires, there were no signs of any feet hiding behind the body. At first, we thought he was pulling our leg. When he insisted he wasn’t, we started to tease him a little. He must have been seeing things, on account of his poor vision and thick glasses. The fact that those glasses afforded him vision as good as or better than any of us wasn’t something we considered.
The next person to disappear was Amy Brooks. Fifth-grader. Next elementary school over. I remember it feeling like when you’re traveling down the freeway, and there’s a big thunderstorm way down the road, but it keeps getting closer, and closer. I don’t remember what she looked like. Her face wasn’t plastered everywhere like Tommy’s had been. She was mentioned on the regional news, out of Seattle, her and Tommy together. Two missing kids from the same town in a short amount of time. The implication was as obvious as it was depraved. They didn’t think the kids were getting lost anymore. They didn’t do very much searching of backyards. The narratives changed too. Teachers started talking a lot about stranger danger. Local TV channels started recycling old After School Specials and public service announcements about the subject.
I’m not sure who saw it next. I think it was Ben again. We took him seriously this time though. I think. The one I’m sure I remember was soon after, and that time it was India who first saw it. It’s still crystal clear in my memory, almost forty years later, because that was the time I first saw it too. We were riding through a four-way stop, an Idaho Stop before they called it that, when India slammed to a stop, locking up her coaster brakes and leaving a long black streak of rubber on a dry patch of pavement. We stopped quickly after and asked what the problem was. We could tell by her face she’d seen it. She was still looking at it.
“I see it,” she whispered, unnecessarily. We all followed her gaze. We were looking, I don’t know, ten seconds? Twenty? We believed everything she said, we just couldn’t see it.
“Where?” Ralph asked.
“Four blocks down,” she whispered. “On the left. See the red car? Kinda rusty?” There was indeed a big old Lincoln Continental, looking pretty ratty and worn. I focused on that, still seeing nothing. “Past that, just to its right. See the street light pole? It’s just behind that.”
We also saw the pole she was talking about. Metal. Aluminum, I’d have guessed. It had different color patches, like metallic flakeboard. Like it’d had been melted together out of scrap.
I could see that clearly even from that distance. I saw nothing behind it. I could see plenty of other things in the background, cars, houses, bushes, front lawns, beauty bark landscape.. There was no indication of anything behind that pole.
And then it moved. It had been right there where she said it had been, yet it had somehow perfectly blended into the landscape, a trick of perspective. We didn’t see it at all until it moved, and almost as fast it had disappeared behind that light pole. We only got a hint. Brown in color, about our height in size.
We screamed. Short little startled screams, the involuntary sort that just burst out of you. Then we turned and started to pedal like mad, thoroughly spooked. We made it to the intersection of the next block when it was Ralph who screeched to a halt and shouted, “Wait!”
We slowed down and stopped, perhaps not as eagerly as we’d done when India yelled. Ralph was looking back over his shoulder, looking at that metal pole. “Did anybody see it move again?’ he asked. We all shook our heads in the negative. Ralph didn’t notice, but of course, he didn’t really need an answer, of course we hadn’t been watching.
“If it didn’t move, then it’s still there!” Ralph explained the obvious. It took a second to sink in, despite the obvious. “C’mon!” he shouted, and to our surprise, before we could react, he turned and took off, straight down the road, straight to where that thing had been lurking.
We were incredulous, but something about his order made us all follow hot on his heels. He was a sort of natural leader. I thought it was total foolishness, but I wasn’t going to let him go alone. I think I got out, “Are you crazy?!”
The wind was blowing hard past our faces as we raced as fast as we could, it made it hard to hear. Ralph shouted his response. “If it’s hiding that means its afraid!” That seemed reasonable, if not totally accurate. Lions hide from their prey before they attack. Then again, they don’t wait around when the whole herd charges. Really, the pole was coming up so fast there wasn’t a whole lot of time to argue. “Just blast past and look!” Ralph added. “We’re too fast! It won’t catch us.”
Sure, I thought to myself. Except maybe Ben, who always lagged behind the rest of us in a race. The lion would get Ben if any of us.
We rushed past that pole and all turned our heads to look. “See!” Ralph shouted in triumph. There was simply nothing there. A metal streetlight pole and nothing more. We stopped pedaling yet still sped on. “Hang on,” Ralph said, and at the next intersection he took a fast looping curve that threatened to crash us all, but we managed and curved behind him. We all came to the pole again where we stopped to see up close that there was nothing there, despite what we had seen moments before.
“Maybe it bilocated,” Ben offered. We groaned. We were all thinking it, but I think we were dismissive because it wasn’t as cool a word as ‘teleport.”
“Maybe it just moved when we weren’t looking,” I offered. That hadn’t been long, but that didn’t mean anything if it moved fast. The four of us slowly looked up from the base of the pole to our immediate surroundings. There were bushes. A car in a carport covered by a tarpaulin. The carport itself. Garbage cans. Stumps. Of course the ever-present trees. Whatever it was it could have been hiding behind anything. Maybe it was. We looked. Maybe it would make itself seen. None of us wanted that. “OK, let’s get going,” Ralph said, and we did so.
I got home feeling pretty shaken that afternoon. I felt safe at home. Except for the front room, which had a big bay window looking out onto the street, and the people who lived across it. There were plenty of garbage cans and telephone poles and stumps that a small, fast thing might hide behind. No, I felt more comfortable in my bedroom. There was a window, but a great thick conical cypress tree grew right in front of it, reaching way up over the roof of the house. If anything, it offered ME a place to hide, and peer out onto the street to either side of the tree. It was protective, as good as any heavy blanket.