Throughout the series, we’ve been treated to a lot of great matches, and lots of key moments from the Karasuno players. Today I ask, what do you view as the best and worst performances from each of the starters over the course of the series?
Here’s my list, with a disclaimer that picking the worst for some of these guys was pretty hard. It’s not too often the manga has a player being actively bad, and usually when they do they end up making one hell of a comeback and being key to the Karasuno victory. So some of the picks for worst are admittedly less that they played bad, and more that they had a poor stretch, or that they were below their usual standards in the match. Anyway, without further ado, let’s proceed,
Hinata
Best Game: Kamomedai
I think this is one that clearly goes without saying. Hinata was absolutely on fire in this game, playing like a kid possessed and just constantly upping the ante against what was easily the best blocking team he had ever faced. It was almost poetic, really. When we started with him, he wondered what it looked like behind the wall of blockers. And in this game, they couldn’t do a thing against him.
Worst Game: Nekoma
This is an interesting pick, because this was Hinata’s first game having a really solid grasp of receiving (to the point where it won them a set), and it’s where he first started to get the hang of his “Dun” jump, which was key to the win over Nekoma. That being said, that jump came near the end of the second set, and it was something that he needed Kageyama’s four set in order to accomplish. Before then, while he wasn’t playing bad, and had still got some nice kills, he wasn’t nearly as effective as he usually was, with Nekoma’s strategy doing an absolutely number to slow him down
Kageyama
Best Game: Inarizaki
It was acknowledged within the manga that Kageyama was on one during this game. Be it his serving, his setting, his blocking, he was constantly able to rise to the task. Be it his running under the net to still set the ball, his block against Aran, or his long set towards Tanaka + his service ace to force a deuce, Kageyama was the best player Karasuno had that day, and evolved constantly within the game to begin reaching his full potential.
I will say I also considered Nekoma here, just because I really liked the way he managed to free Hinata from the shackles that Nekoma’s gameplay had put him in.
Worst Game: Seijoh 1
Not much needs ti be said here, really. For the entire first set he was in his own head which pit Karasuno in a hole, and though he did great after he came back from being subbed out, it was still clear he had a long way to go before he could truly become the King of the Court.
Tsukishima
Best Game: Shiratorizawa
It shouldn’t go without much surprise that this is Tsukishima’s best game, as it was this game that got him hooked on volleyball. Tsukishima stayed consistently on top of his game with his blocking and funneling, working in tandem with Nishinoya to make things much harder for Ushijima and the rest of Shiratorizawa. He was no slouch on offense either, with his delayed spike and his bluffed slide attack providing very key points for the team in clutch moments. Though his final plan against Ushijima didn’t work, it was still an excellent display of his analytical mind.
Worst Game: Wakutani
Honestly, I don’t think Tsukishima necessarily played bad either. However, Nakashima was simply a mad matchup for him, with his ability to tool blocks. This wasn’t the first time Tsukishima would face hitters who blatantly countered his blocking, but with Suna and Hoshiumi, Tsukishima was able to at least utilize larger strategies to neutralize them even a little.
Tanaka
Best Game: Inarizaki
Tanaka had a rough start to this game. Inarizaki were doing a great job blocking him, and his precision line and cut shots were still a work in progress. To make matters worse, he hit a bad mental block that only built up as he continued to struggle offensively. However, he got himself out of it, nailing an insane angle on a cut shot to win them the first set. Later on, down 24-22 in the third set, he was trusted to make the kill, and he did so while going the complete opposite way, saving his team with a sharp line shot. Tanaka came out of this match a much better player than before, clearly showing why he was Karasuno’s next ace
Worst Game: Date Tech 2
Full honesty? It was hard to pick a worst match for Tanaka. He was targeted early in the first Seijoh, but got himself out of it quickly enough and was back to his normal self before long so the damage was minimal. Instead, I had to just kind of raise my hands and point to the Date Tech match. it wasn’t even that he was bad, but with the focus on Asahi and Hinata, Tanaka was mostly left to the side and wasn’t as present. This is easily my weakest pick though, so I won’t fault anyone for completely disagreeing.
Nishinoya
Best Game: Shiratorizawa
Similar to Tsukishima, this should go without saying. Faced with the best ace in Japan, Nishinoya made constant digs that almost no one else could. Not only that, but they were fantastic passes too, allowing Karasuno’s offense to still shine. Furthermore, his strong mentality meant that even as Karasuno came out weak in the first set, he was able to inject them with enough energy to keep them going, slowly building momentum towards a win.
Worst Game: Inarizaki
Inarizaki marks the only time Nishinoya was outright picked on. His weakness in overhands was exploited to its limit by Atsumu, and was something that troubled the team for all three sets. He gave up constant service aces, and made poor bumps that compromised Karasuno’s ability to control the fistfight. He was eventually able to work himself out of it thanks to Kinoshita’s help, but the damage that was done got very close to being too much.
Asahi
Best Game: Kamomedai
Similar to Tanaka, Asahi had a rough early go against Kamomedai. They were like a superior version of Date Tech, the team that gave him absolute fits the previous year and almost broke him completely. He was in danger of falling into the same hole in this game but, backed by his team, he came out stronger than ever, breaking down the forest and opening the way for Karasuno to begin picking apart Kamomedai’s blocking.
Worst Game: Date Tech 1
Admittedly a cop out answer given this game wasn’t shown in full, but Asahi was pretty great in every full match we saw, which is fitting for an ace. So instead we point to the game where we’re explicitly told he was shut down, and even quit the club for a while.
Daichi
Best Game: Inarizaki
I actually had Johzenji initially when I was typing this up. He proved to be a backbone for Kageyama and Hinata, preventing them from getting swept up in Johzenji’s rhythm and saving them from a few mistakes. He proved his role as captain there. But he does that again in Inarizaki, and contributes even more so with his scoring. In addition to being the solid foundation, he shows here how he embraces the team’s philosophy of scoring, which was noticed by Kita. Always a steady rock for Karasuno, Daichi went above and beyond in this game, showing that he too is just as capable at scoring.
Worst Game: Kamomedai
Similar to Tanaka, it’s hard to pick a bad game for Daichi because one of his main strengths is just how consistent and fundamental he is. While he isn’t a fantastic player able to control everything, his digs have saved Karasuno constant times to the point they took it for granted, as evidenced by the Wakutani match. So I choose the Kamomedai match solely on the concept that Daichi wasn’t as much of an offensive threat as he usually was. It’s still a pretty good game from him, though.

A certified life coach is a professional who helps individuals identify and achieve their personal and professional goals. They provide guidance, support, and motivation to their clients, helping them navigate through challenges and make positive changes in their lives. In this article, we will explore how a certified life coach professionally works.
Establishing a Coaching Relationship:
A certified life coach begins by establishing a coaching relationship with their client. They create a safe and non-judgmental environment where the client feels comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and aspirations. This relationship is built on trust, respect, and confidentiality.
Setting Goals:
The life coach works with the client to define their goals. These goals can be related to various aspects of life, such as career, relationships, health, or personal development. The coach helps the client clarify their goals, ensuring they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART goals).
Assessing the Current Situation:
The coach conducts an assessment of the client's current situation. They explore the client's strengths, weaknesses, values, beliefs, and any obstacles that may be hindering their progress. This assessment helps the coach gain a holistic understanding of the client's life and provides a foundation for developing a personalised coaching plan.
Creating an Action Plan:
Based on the client's goals and current situation, the life coach collaborates with the client to create an action plan. This plan outlines the steps the client needs to take to achieve their goals. The coach helps the client break down their goals into smaller, manageable tasks and provides guidance on prioritization and time management.
Providing Support and Accountability:
The certified life coach provides ongoing support and accountability to their clients. They serve as a sounding board, actively listening to the client's concerns, challenges, and successes. The coach offers encouragement, motivation, and guidance throughout the coaching journey. They hold the client accountable for taking action and following through on their commitments.
Employing Effective Coaching Techniques:
A certified life coach utilises a range of coaching techniques and tools to facilitate the client's growth and development. These techniques may include powerful questioning, active listening, reframing perspectives, visualisation exercises, goal-setting exercises, and accountability structures. The coach tailors their approach to the client's unique needs and preferences.
Facilitating Personal Growth and Development:
The life coach assists the client in identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs, fears, and self-doubt that may be holding them back. They help the client cultivate self-awareness, develop new empowering beliefs, and build resilience. The coach supports the client in exploring new possibilities, challenging their comfort zones, and taking calculated risks to achieve their goals.
Monitoring Progress and Evaluating Outcomes:
A certified life coach continuously monitors the client's progress and evaluates the outcomes of the coaching sessions. They track the client's achievements, celebrate milestones, and provide feedback and guidance along the way. The coach adjusts the coaching plan as necessary, ensuring it remains aligned with the client's evolving needs and aspirations.
Maintaining Professionalism and Ethical Standards:
A certified life coach adheres to professional and ethical standards. They maintain confidentiality, respect client autonomy, and refrain from imposing their own values or beliefs on the client. Coaches also engage in ongoing professional development, seeking to enhance their coaching skills and stay abreast of current industry practices.
Reflecting and Celebrating:
At the end of the coaching engagement or at significant milestones, the life coach encourages the client to reflect on their journey. They help the client identify and appreciate their progress, lessons learned, and personal growth. The coach celebrates the client's achievements, reinforcing their confidence and self-belief.
In conclusion, a certified life coach or executive coach works professionally by establishing a coaching relationship, setting goals, assessing the current situation, creating an action plan, providing support and accountability, employing effective coaching techniques, facilitating personal growth and development, monitoring progress and evaluating outcomes, maintaining professionalism and ethical standards, and reflecting and celebrating achievements. Through this comprehensive approach, a certified life coach empowers individuals to make positive changes, overcome obstacles, and live a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

How would you respond to the common argument that if you do not believe in the existence of God, then life has no purpose or meaning and there is no morality? Theists that I hear making this argument all seem to insist that atheists must believe there is no purpose to life.
"If I was an atheist I would be logically compelled to conclude we have no true purpose, no ultimate meaning, and no genuine morality, beauty or value. I’m not alone in this view." I saw this quote from a video I saw on YouTube by a Christian pastor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd072pek2ns
I don't see how you can make this conclusion. How does it necessarily follow that there is NO purpose in life, simply because you don't believe in the existence of the Christian God? I think humans are perfectly capable of determining purpose and meaning themselves, irrespective of a belief in a creator deity. Finding your own purpose with the life you've been given is what makes life all the more special.
With regard to morality, I think our morality as a society is man-made and evolves with the times. We learn what is moral based on what our society considers moral. It doesn't necessarily require belief in a creator god, much less the Christian God.
I don't conclude that there is no purpose to life. I simply reject the Christian purpose of life which is to serve an absent, insubstantial God in life, and then to spend the afterlife satisfying that God's need to be worshiped and praised for all eternity.

How would you respond to the common argument that if you do not believe in the existence of God, then life has no purpose or meaning and there is no morality? Theists that I hear making this argument all seem to insist that atheists must believe there is no purpose to life.
"If I was an atheist I would be logically compelled to conclude we have no true purpose, no ultimate meaning, and no genuine morality, beauty or value. I’m not alone in this view." I saw this quote from a video I saw on YouTube by a Christian pastor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd072pek2ns
I don't see how you can make this conclusion. How does it necessarily follow that there is NO purpose in life, simply because you don't believe in the existence of the Christian God? I think humans are perfectly capable of determining purpose and meaning themselves, irrespective of a belief in a creator deity. Finding your own purpose with the life you've been given is what makes life all the more special.
With regard to morality, I think our morality as a society is man-made and evolves with the times. We learn what is moral based on what our society considers moral. It doesn't necessarily require belief in a creator god, much less the Christian God.
I don't conclude that there is no purpose to life. I simply reject the Christian purpose of life which is to serve an absent, insubstantial God in life, and then to spend the afterlife satisfying that God's need to be worshiped and praised for all eternity.

When we think of relationships, we usually think of other people: family, friends, partners, co-workers, that f*cker that keeps playing the organ at midnight next door, the dog, etc.
Relationships are super duper important to living at least a somewhat decent life. I doubt many people will disagree.
Yet the most important relationship is the one that is commonly most overlooked:
Your relationship with yourself!

Your relationship with yourself

Don't worry, I'm not going to come out with some hoo-hah "love yourself" bullshit. I promise.
Not long ago there was only one person I hated in life. One person that I thought was the most pathetic, weak, lacking, and bruh-inducing human that I knew. And who was that?
Me!
Was thinking this healthy? No. Did it benefit me in any way? No. Did it benefit others? No. Was it conducive to my goals? No. Did it make me feel any better? No.
But my past depressed self made this a reality. Whether it was true or not, I believed it, so it became true to me.
My past self rationalised this thought pattern. I made it appear reasonable to talk to myself like this - to have this I'm-such-a-loser-all-I-do-is-lose internal dialogue. Compared to so many people around me, I felt behind in life. Really behind.
My mental health was in a laughable state. I was physically as fit as my 70yr old neighbour (the one that plays that f*cking organ), lonely, depressed, hopeless, and didn't have much going for me. And to put the cherry on top, I habitually played the comparison game with people online.
Now that is a loser's game.
After a while, I'd had enough. I said, "f*ck this, I'm sick of myself for hating myself, and I've got to do something about this". I took the plunge into rekindling my relationship with myself.
Why Is This Important?
If your goal is improvement, you must be someone that wants to improve.
When I treated myself like a foe:

• I kept regressing to old standards after a very short time.
• I had no motivation to improve and achieve worthwhile goals.
• I quickly gave up on anything that took effort.
• I overindulged in vices and bad habits.
• And I just didn't care much if I won or lost.

And other people are going to notice this. It is reflected in everything: posture, work ethic, body language, etc. You will never be able to subconsciously rationalise improving someone you hate.
And to add, not many people will want to be around you either.
To try to be a better person yet speak to yourself as a problem is counter-intuitive. Don't you think? It's bound to create a form of mental incongruence. And as long as your actions for yourself do not align with your thoughts about yourself, you will always feel a kind of dissonance. And this shit isn't what we want.
Oh wow, this is cool and all, but how tf do I start liking myself a little more?
Firstly, you've got to be aware of the problem. How do you speak to yourself regularly? Like you would to a friend? How about when you do something well or badly?
Start to develop a perception of your thoughts about yourself more and assess them. This could be some of the most beneficial introspection you do. Take note of how much is positive and how much is negative. And don't just skip this shit - it's important.
For example, here were some of mine that used to be all too common: "I'm pathetic", "I'm stupid", "I'm weak", "I'm a sorry excuse for a man", "Why would anyone ever like me?", and "Why should I bother?"
Pretty rough, huh?
​
Next, you have to want to become someone that you like.
Perhaps you don't want to. Perhaps this seems a bit lovey-dovey.
Make no mistake, I'm not saying you should love yourself all of a sudden. That obviously won't work. Not a single cringe "love yourself" affirmation or quote changed shit when I was a doomer.
If you're suffering right now, why should you love the person who's put you there? It's more about thinking positively and reshaping your identity so it aligns with your goals.
You should find a nice balance between loving and hating yourself - too much hate, and you'll never get shit done; too much love and you'll get too comfortable with where you currently are.
Your beliefs should be as self-serving as possible. Ones that aren't will compound and weaken your mind. Because ultimately, your beliefs become your reality.
Here are some next steps you can take:

1. Only compare yourself to yourself. Easier said than done, I know. But it's a biggie. Deleting - or at least distancing - yourself from social media will help. All these "successful" nerds will make everything you do seem futile. Instead, compare your progress to where you were in the past.
2. Look after yourself. But take it gradually, step by step. Overwhelming yourself will cause a reset, or prevent you from starting altogether. Do some simple things: take a shower, drink some water, meditate for 2 minutes, journal 1 thing you're grateful for, go for a walk, etc. Do these little things, let them compound, and see how you feel after a week or two.
3. Envision the person you want to become - the dream version of yourself. How would they treat and speak to themselves? Really use your imagination and paint as vivid a picture as possible. The more detail, the more emotion you can tie to it, and the more powerful it will be. Now act and think in alignment with how they would.
4. Intercept negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Unfortunately, emotions are addictive, so many people get stuck thinking negatively. This will take practice, but you can get there. One tip is to write a reminder on the wall to think good thoughts. The less tolerance you have for non-serving thoughts, the easier it will be.

The most important thing
The one thing that gave me the most progress was changing my beliefs about myself. It seemed stupid to have beliefs about myself that made life harder.
So, I removed all tolerance for negative beliefs and replaced them with positive ones. I would constantly reaffirm these beliefs, no matter how arduous it seemed. This is some biohacking, neuroplasticity, and reprogramming your mind-type shit.
I found results the most, however, when I proved these beliefs. That is the key. Because then you get a nice feedback loop and a positive memory to add credence to the belief.
The idea goes: Form a serving belief -> Act in accordance -> See the Result -> Get mental feedback.
Then the feedback either strengthens the belief or weakens it. It's these feedback loops that can be the difference between feeling on top of the world and like a fat sack of shit. This is why it's paramount that you understand this! These beliefs can make or break you.
Don't worry if at first you don't act correctly or get the desired results. Remind yourself that you are evolving into the person who believes x about themselves, and with time it will come true.
​
Some concluding notes and stuff
Speak to yourself like a friend. Behave how you would want your child to.
There is a lot more to cover on this topic, such as affirmations (which can help immensely but are almost always incorrectly done and misunderstood), identity and the ego, belief, victim mentality, feedback loops, etc. But I think these deserve their own posts.
One of the biggest determinants of success for most things in life is how much you believe in yourself. Be someone that you can believe in.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Thx for reading.

Was a topic that evolved into a pretty fun conversation in a couple discords I'm in and wanted to know what everyone here would think how a conflict would go with pros and cons of both factions.
Empire can be either Legends or Canon continuity.

Im playing pokemon white on my iphone via an emulator from emuland and I need to evolve my gurdurr but I just found out it's a trade evolution. I wanted to ask anyone here what I can do? Also ive tried apps like desmume, ultimate pokemon randomizer but none of those worked on my iphone ( an 11 model) so if anyone can find a way to help me here I would greatly appreciate it.

£327/6
​
Vinum recommending this heavily
93-95 points William Kelley A blend of 64% Merlot and 36% Cabernet Franc, the 2022 Nenin delivers aromas of cherries, violets, sweet berries and rose petals, followed by a medium to full-bodied, deep and fleshy palate that's rich, succulent and seamless, its ample core of fruit largely concealing its sweet, powdery tannins.
93-95 points Lisa Perrotti-Brown A blend of 64% Merlot and 36% Cabernet Franc, the 2022 Nenin is deep garnet-purple in color. It skips out of the glass with bright, vivacious notes of kirsch, black cherry compote, and juicy plums, plus touches of garrigue, star anise, and Sichuan pepper. The medium to full-bodied palate is plush and soft spoken, with layers of fragrant black fruit and a long spicy finish.
​
It could be an interesting one for those who need a drinking pomerol - I dont know how back vintages price/score off hand

Welcome to the /pokemontrades Weekly Casual Trade Thread!

This thread is for competitive/casual trades, and tradebacks, in the older games this subreddit supports: Pokémon HOME, Sword/Shield, Brilliant Diamond/Shining Pearl, Pokemon Legend: Arceus, Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee, Sun/Moon, Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon, X/Y and ORAS.
Do not trade, or tradeback, shiny or event Pokémon or serial codes in this thread.
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Please keep in mind:

• You must have your Switch or 3DS Friend Code and In-Game Name set in your user flair to post on this subreddit!
  • If you attempt to comment (or create a post) without user flair set, your post will be automatically removed. If you need help setting up your user flair, review our New User Quickstart Guide or message the moderators.
• If you receive an offer by PM or Reddit chat, message the moderators and redirect the other user to post publicly on the subreddit.
• Yes, trades completed in a daily or weekly casual thread can be applied toward trade flair.
• To make trades go smoother, we recommend listing things you can offer in your initial request.

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• To chat or ask questions, please visit our Daily Discussion & Questions Thread, here.
• To visit the Daily Trading Thread for Pokémon Scarlet & Violet, click here.

In today’s rapidly changing and competitive world, many individuals find themselves feeling lost or uncertain about their career paths. The increasing complexity of the job market, along with the multitude of options available, can often leave us feeling overwhelmed and unsure of which direction to take. That’s where a career counsellor can make all the difference. In this blog post, we will explore how a Global Career Counsellor can help alleviate your worries and provide guidance in navigating your professional journey. Global Career Counsellor is an online Program by Univariety in collaboration with UCLA Extension.

Understanding the Role of a Career Counsellor

A career counsellor is a trained professional who specializes in helping individuals identify and achieve their career goals. They possess in-depth knowledge of various industries, job market trends, and the skills required to excel in specific professions. A career counsellor acts as a guide, offering personalized support and resources to help you make informed decisions about your career.

Identifying Your Interests, Skills, and Values

One of the first steps in finding career satisfaction is understanding your interests, skills, and values. A career counsellor will engage in comprehensive assessments and discussions to help you gain clarity about your strengths, preferences, and what truly motivates you. By examining these factors, they can provide insights into career paths that align with your personality and aspirations.

Exploring Career Options

The modern job market offers an overwhelming number of career options, making it challenging to determine the right path. A career counsellor can simplify this process by conducting thorough research and presenting you with a range of potential professions that suit your interests and skills. They will consider various factors, such as your educational background, prior work experience, and future growth opportunities, to help you make an informed decision.

Developing a Strategic Career Plan

Once you’ve identified potential career options, a career counsellor can help you develop a strategic career plan. They will assist you in setting achievable short-term and long-term goals, as well as in creating a roadmap to reach them. With their expertise, you can learn about the necessary steps, additional education or training, and potential obstacles you might face along the way. Having a well-defined plan will boost your confidence and set you on a path towards success.

Building Job Search Skills

Job searching can be a daunting task, especially if you are unsure about the best strategies to adopt. A career counsellor can equip you with valuable job search skills, including resume writing, cover letter preparation, interview techniques, and networking tips. They can also guide you on how to effectively utilize online platforms and professional networks to enhance your visibility and connect with potential employers.

Addressing Career Challenges and Transitions

Throughout your career, you may encounter various challenges, such as stagnation, burnout, or a desire to change industries. A career counsellor can provide support during these times, helping you navigate through career transitions and overcome obstacles. They can offer guidance on skills development, exploring new opportunities, and managing work-life balance, ensuring you stay on track towards your goals.

Staying Relevant in a Changing Job Market

In today’s fast-paced world, industries are evolving, and new technologies emerge regularly. A career counsellor can help you stay updated on industry trends and equip you with the skills required to remain relevant in your field. They can recommend training programs, professional certifications, or continuing education opportunities that will enhance your knowledge and expand your career options.

Conclusion

Feeling worried about your career is natural, but you don’t have to navigate the uncertainties alone. A trained Global Career Counsellor can provide invaluable support, guiding you towards a fulfilling and successful professional journey.
By understanding your interests, exploring various career options, and developing a strategic plan, a Global Career Counsellor can help you overcome challenges and make informed decisions.
Remember, investing in your career is an investment in your future happiness and success. So, if you find yourself worried or unsure, reach out to a Global Career Counsellor and take the first step towards a brighter and more fulfilling professional life. [Read More]

This happened so fast in the span of 48 hours and it really made me open my eyes at certain people I knew.
So for the really short context of what we were, was that we have('had' now I guess) a group of several university friends (we're all around age 20-26, gender doesn't matter here really). I'd love to create a relationship chart cuz it's kinda messy to explain but I'll try my best.
The parties involved are My bf and I (dating for 5 years++), my self proclaimed bestfriend, my bf's self proclaimed close friend, my bf's brother, a girl we hang out with, a pacifist that's the biggest floater I've ever met, and an innocent dude that just wanted things to die down.
There's a lot of back story and rants about my self proclaimed bestfriend but I'll cut it short. She doesn't have the best mental health and has a lot of negativity. We used to be quite close when they didn't let mental health define her. But after embracing therapy, she turned worse, way worse. She tried to search up symptoms of the possible mental health issues the simple test she took and applied as much as possible on herself, then used them as an excuse for everything she did. Every 2 sentence involved a mental health issue that she [thinks she] has. Certainly, she refuses to get actual mental health assessments because it's expensive, yet she's spent thousands per year to get anything aside for the assessment that takes several hundred. I've been enduring it, telling her about how I get affected by the negativity too. She has the tendency to place her Suicxxx attempts on us, and I got real sick of it. For several years, I still tried to talk to her, engage conversations with her, as long as it did not evolve into extreme negativity where I have to take responsibility of stopping her doing anything stupid. Because I knew that I was not enough, as she never listened to any of my advice anyways. Looking back, I was never exactly a friend to her.
Then, she got close to my bf because they became coworkers. She started treating my bf as a brother. But I personally cannot accept. Not because I was afraid she would take him away or something, it's that she was still introducing us as if we were close. When I say as a brother, I meant calling him the middle of the night because of mental breakdowns, telling him the times she's tried to k*ll herself and how he saved her, texting him for no reason (she never texts me, the 'bestfriend'), despite having a bf of her own, decides to choose my bf over her own. I find this absolutely inappropriate, and I've told her that. But she brushed it off as, owh you're just jealous, don't take away my 'family' from me (she has an awful relationship with her family). It's basically this thing called Transference. I'm not gonna dwell too much on it.
Okay so, finally going into the situation. My bf had a fight and I accidentally brought it to our group chat by sending the message to the wrong chat. My bf decided to elaborate on the fight. At that point, I've already left the group chat to deescalate the situation, since I never meant it to happen there. My bf left afterwards too. But the dude who wanted things to not be complicated added us back (poor dude). My self proclaimed bestfriend started to post 'what was needed to be said' in the group. On how everyone is having rough times and that we (mainly me) should control ourselves and get help (rereading it, they were basically dissing me). It was a long wall of text. Me being angry af, honestly replied 'TLDR' and left the group.
I was still angry at my bf, but as I was writing a long essay trying to tell him why I was angry, I realise that it was all anger on how my self proclaimed bestfriend, that just happened to be slightly related to the couple fight situation because of the group. It is then I realised, it's time to get out of the group, and finally cut things off, for my own mental health.
As I made my decision, it seemed like some people are pissed. My bf's self proclaimed close friend said that it was 2 issues: the fight, and the cut off. Apparently, this 'close friend', my 'bestfriend', girl we hang out with, these trio were actually discussing amongst themselves on what to reply, and decided to let my 'bestfriend' be the one to tell us 'what needs to be told'. Way to use a scapegoat. They've knowingly used her when they knew I had issues with her. This then clicked in my and bf's head, it explained why they're on her side, explained why he(close friend) thinks it's not fair for me to cut off 'bestfriend' as quote "it seems like you placed your previous hatred on her into the situation and now the group has to deal with it" aka he thinks I mixed up the situations together. Truthfully, I did not. I've apologised for the mistake I've made, and TLDR-ing ppl's worry. That's issue 1. This was the last straw and I made my decision to cut her off. That's another issue. There's no mixing.
Well for more context, our entire group is unhappy about 'bestfriend', we've said to talk to her about it, an intervention. But days, weeks, months passed and all they did was call my bf more and more, and no actions from the group at all. The entire group has asked the question, why is she even here, no one likes her. And I always have a guiltily say, it's because of me.
So what happened was that I was my bf's plus one, and she was mine. I placed hope on her getting better, so never cut her off. But as more and more gatherings and more and more questions of why she's even in our friend group throughout the years, these questionings also pushed me to consider if it was time to cut her out, so no one else needs to suffer because of my plus one.
Anyways, as I truthfully texted 'bestfriend' that I'm cutting them off, with reasons of 'never actually treating me as what they proclaimed' 'getting too close to my bf even after I've told them not to' 'spreading negativity unconsciously'. But told her that we can reconcile when she can finally get a hold of her mental health. She read it, called 'cloae friend' (no idea what they talked about), called my bf, and pleaded. She pleaded to my bf to not leave her. You read that right, she wasn't sad that she's losing me, she was sad that she's losing my boyfriend. She gave my boyfriend an ultimatum, he chooses me, or her. If he chooses me, she will cut him off because he will still be dating me. In the trios surprise, he chose me. So she cut him off.
Note that when I meant that she never texted me, it meant. She never texts me. She had the audacity to tell my bf that it was because "she would never reply". I've checked receipts, I have no idea what she's smoking but I have always, ALWAYS, replied. This made me wonder, what kind of misinformation is she spreadin in the echochamber.
Next day comes, she finally replied to me and said "I genuinely hate you" then blocked, running away from any hardships as usual. Anyways, my bf replied in the group as usual when she posted something. Because it wasn't my bf that cut her off, it was the other way around, so why couldn't he? He then gets a angry message from 'close friend', giving him another ultimatum, 1. Bear the consequences of quitting the group because he chose to cut off 'bestfriend'. 2. Not choose me. 3. Fix me and make everyone friends again. Well, my boyfriend chose the quit the group. In which, to be very honest, 'bestfriend' should have left the group or 'close friend' should have left if he couldn't stand it. My bf did nothing wrong lmao. You can also see, that 'close friend' got the information of my bf cutting her off instead of the other way around. So really, is it miscommunication, or misinformation being spread, or reading comprehension problems?
Well anyways, there's that. Below are rants about the double standard and big head scratching moments
So of course there are side pickings, the trio is on one side, and the rest on neutral, some on ours. None of us on our side are sure what's wrong with the trio for thinking the ultimatum is the way to go. But we did find that it's because they have family issues, so they thought of the group as a family. And they probably want the group to stay as it is. And behold, to them, yours truly ruined it. But for what 'close friend' said to me, it does not seem like he's ever seen me as a family, just, my bf's crazy gf that spread bad vibes to the group and never get help. Know that all I've sent to the group were memes and funny shit happening at work, and the last time he has personally talked to me was at the new year's party we had (yes, 5 months ago and during then I was positive af than ever). I don't know what bad vibes or not getting better he's talking about but doesn't he sound like he's "placed previous hatred on me into the situation"? There's tonnes of other double standard shit he's said to me and honestly, we all just wondered, what happened to this guy. He used to be a chill dude, thats better at adulting. Instead, he used his double faced salesman skills on us, thinking we wouldn't see through it. Guess the consequences of unemployment got to him. None of anything he said implied 'fix it with bestfriend so we can go back to normal'. Also, if u want to fix a family, you have them talk it out, not attack the person that finally couldn't take it anymore. Well, can't blame them, they don't know what a family is.
The codependency of the group got waaaaay toxic than we have ever imagined. And those 3 being in an echochamber will probably never realise it. 'Close friend' created their own group in the morning right after my bf left by the way, consisting of the trio, the floater, and my bf's brother. Yes, he made my bf quit the original group, and made another group.
We're damn pissed at the fact they didn't include 'dude' in. The reason they were pissed at me was because I made the decision of cutting someone out without consulting the rest of the group. Hmm, and they did the exact same thing to the dude.
The reason they didn't add the dude that just wanted things to die down, was cuz he asked if the ultimatum really is the best option. And quote the 'close friend' "dude could have shut his mouth like floater and the brother". We have no idea why the brother is in the group, but all he said was "well, both sides is kinda at fault" and bam, he's a part of them now.
Somehow this shows that they are so out of their mind, that they added my bf's brother into a rant group (unsure if this will be just a rant group or the finalised group for now) about his own brother and his brother's girlfriend. We theorise that it might be that the trios have horrid sibling relationships, so they thought my bf and brother would have too. It's just hilarious because 'close friend' plays DND with brother and my bf, he should know how close they are. Did they expect brother to not tell us this? Did they think brother hates me too?
'Close friend' legit said that he has a lot less to lose than my bf and I in this situation. Funny thing is, the group was created by my bf, he can do it on a whim, he can do it again, he doesn't need this group. On my side, I am an extreme introvert with dissociation problems (I'm getting it fixed, not because of this situation though, it's for my bf) that I never got close enough with anyone, aside from this 'bestfriend', but well, I can get a friend fast, I can lose them fast, dissociation at their best. I'm not sure why 'close friend' tried to one-up me on this, the one winning is whoever gained from this. He lost all respect we have on him, and he's stuck with a selfish suicidal that wouldn't a get professional diagnose for 5 years.
The only concern I have is when 'close friend' comes over for DND, I've decided to act as if nothing happened, since the boys (DND group) never interacted with me usually anyways. But if he throws me stink eyes or shades me in anyway, the fight's on. I'm not burning the bridge with him yet, only because of my bf, but no one can stop me if he taunts to burn the bridge down. The battleground? In his face, because he's a massive coward. (Okay this is rant about him now) he said that he has harsher things to say, but he doesn't say it. He said that just because he didn't say anything, doesn't mean he nothing to say. Then say it, coward. Until now, he has not said it. Until now, he's been throwing away his principles and being double standard. Until now, his arguments were from the echochamber of the trio. Where are your words, coward?
Truthfully, I just really want to get this out of my chest, and I thank Reddit for having everything. I'm not sure if I'll finally let this go. But this is a good try. For two days, it's been hectic for my bf and I. And it really.... Confused us to see our friends turned like this. And how the innocent 'dude' was just like the old man that keeps losing his cabbages for no reason in Avatar TLA.
Anyhow, issue has died down, my bf and I are closer than before. My mental health is noticeably better (disregarding the anger from the situation). We've seen the true colours of certain friends. We can still be friends with the other's in the group, just that the group chat is now abandoned. The sadness is mainly nostalgia. There are things that should stay as memories, and trying to pursue what is gone only brings stress and disappointment, so this really is the best. Overall, we'd say that we actually gained for losing those negative points in our lives that we never noticed/dealt with.