This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 65%. (I'm a bot)

The House Ethics Committee has quietly reopened a probe into Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz, Punchbowl News reports, citing sources familiar with the investigation.
Gaetz's office declined to comment, and requests for comment from members of the House Ethics Committee and Speaker Kevin McCarthy were not immediately returned.
The committee first announced it had begun an investigation into Gaetz in April 2021, saying in a statement, "The Committee is aware of public allegations that Representative Matt Gaetz may have engaged in sexual misconduct and/or illicit drug use, shared inappropriate images or videos on the House floor, misused state identification records, converted campaign funds to personal use, and/or accepted a bribe, improper gratuity, or impermissible gift, in violation of House Rules, laws, or other standards of conduct."
Gaetz, who assumed office in 2017, was reelected to the House in 2022.
The probe involving Gaetz reportedly spun out of another investigation, into Joel Greenberg, his friend and former GOP official from Seminole County, Florida.
Former Trump White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson testified that Gaetz had been seeking a pardon since early December 2020, saying he had requested a meeting with chief of staff Mark Meadows "About receiving a presidential pardon."

Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: Gaetz^#1 House^#2 Committee^#3 investigation^#4 request^#5
Post found in /politics.
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Item #: SCP-YYYY
Object Class: Neutralized
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-YYYY is currently stored in a standard anomalous item locker at Site-12. No further containment procedures are necessary, as SCP-YYYY has been rendered inert.
Description: SCP-YYYY is a Colt Single Action Army revolver, manufactured in 1899. SCP-YYYY has the words "The Last Stand" engraved on the barrel, and exhibits signs of extensive usage and deterioration.
SCP-YYYY's anomalous property manifested on 18/11/1899, when it was utilized by its original owner, John "Black Jack" Ketchum, a wanted criminal and gunslinger in the American Old West. On that date, Ketchum and his associates were pursued by a coalition of bounty hunters, Pinkerton agents, and law enforcement officers to the town of Fort Griffin, Texas. A violent confrontation ensued, during which Ketchum discharged SCP-YYYY at one of his adversaries, resulting in his immediate termination. However, upon the ejection of the bullet from the chamber, SCP-YYYY activated a temporal anomaly that affected the entire town and its inhabitants.
The temporal anomaly consisted of a stable time loop with a duration of approximately 15 minutes, starting from the moment of SCP-YYYY's discharge and ending with the termination of Ketchum by a gunshot wound to the cranium. During this period, all events and actions within the town repeated themselves identically, with no variation or deviation. The inhabitants of the town were unaware of the anomaly, and experienced each iteration as if it was the first occurrence. The anomaly was localized to the town and its immediate surroundings, and was not detectable from outside.
The time loop persisted for 120 years, until it was discovered by the Foundation in 2019. A team of Foundation agents infiltrated the town under the guise of tourists, and managed to locate and secure SCP-YYYY. Upon removing SCP-YYYY from the town, the anomaly ceased, and the town resumed normal temporal flow. The inhabitants of the town were administered Class-B amnestics and given a cover story of a historical reenactment that resulted in several casualties. SCP-YYYY was transported to Site-12 for further analysis.
SCP-YYYY was found to be inactive and non-anomalous after its removal from the town. No traces of temporal energy or other anomalies were detected on or around it. It is hypothesized that SCP-YYYY's anomaly was a one-time event, triggered by a specific combination of factors that are unlikely to be replicated. The exact nature and origin of SCP-YYYY's anomaly remain unknown.
Addendum YYYY-1: Note Recovered from Ketchum's Body
During the recovery of SCP-YYYY, a note was found in Ketchum's pocket. The note was written on a piece of paper torn from a journal, and appeared to be a personal confession by Ketchum. The note read as follows:

I don't know how long I have left to live. Maybe minutes, maybe seconds. But I have to write this down before I go. I have to tell someone the truth about me and this damn gun.
I wasn't always an outlaw. I used to be a decent man, with a wife and a son. We lived on a small ranch in Kansas, and we were happy. But then they came. The railroad men. They wanted our land for their tracks, and they didn't care about us or our rights. They offered us a pittance for our home, and when we refused, they sent their thugs to burn it down.
They killed my wife and my son in front of me. They left me for dead in the ashes. But I survived. And I swore revenge.
I tracked them down one by one, killing them with this gun. This gun that I found in an old pawn shop in Dodge City. This gun that had a strange inscription on it: "The Last Stand". This gun that felt like it had a mind of its own.
I didn't know what it meant at first. But then I realized. This gun was cursed. It gave me the power to kill anyone I wanted, but it also doomed me to die by its bullet.
Every time I pulled the trigger, I felt a surge of pain in my chest. Every time I killed someone, I felt my life slipping away. Every time I looked at this gun, I saw my own death staring back at me.
But I couldn't stop. I was obsessed with vengeance. I didn't care about anything else. Not even myself.
And now here I am. Cornered in this godforsaken town by a bunch of bounty hunters, Pinkertons, and lawmen. They want me dead or alive, but they don't know the truth. They don't know that I'm already dead.
I have one bullet left in this gun. One bullet that will end my life and my curse. One bullet that will be my last stand.
I don't regret what I did. I don't ask for forgiveness. I don't expect anyone to understand.
I just hope that someone will find this note and remember me.
Remember me as a man who loved his family.
Remember me as a man who fought for justice.
Remember me as a man who made his last stand.
John "Black Jack" Ketchum

Addendum YYYY-2: Analysis of SCP-YYYY's Bullet
The bullet that was fired by SCP-YYYY and caused the temporal anomaly was recovered by the Foundation agents during the investigation of the town. The bullet was found embedded in the skull of Ketchum's adversary, who was identified as James "Jim" Miller, a Pinkerton agent hired to capture Ketchum.
The bullet was subjected to various tests and scans, and was found to be anomalous in several ways. The bullet was composed of an unknown metal alloy that was resistant to heat, corrosion, and deformation. The bullet also emitted a faint temporal radiation that matched the signature of SCP-YYYY's anomaly. The bullet appeared to be the source and catalyst of the anomaly, as it created a temporal feedback loop between itself and SCP-YYYY.
The bullet was also found to have a unique property: it was able to penetrate any material or obstacle without losing any velocity or kinetic energy. The bullet was able to pierce through walls, doors, windows, furniture, and even human bodies with ease. The bullet left no traces of impact or damage on any of the surfaces it passed through, except for its final target: Miller's skull.
It is theorized that the bullet's property was related to SCP-YYYY's curse, as it ensured that the bullet would always reach its intended victim, regardless of any interference or protection. It is also possible that the bullet's property was a side effect of the temporal anomaly, as it ignored the normal laws of physics and causality.
The bullet was designated as SCP-YYYY-1 and placed in a separate containment locker at Site-12 for further study.
Addendum YYYY-3: Interview with ████████
During the administration of amnestics to the inhabitants of the town, one of them displayed an unusual reaction. The individual, identified as ████████, a local shopkeeper and witness of the shootout, claimed to have memories of the time loop and SCP-YYYY. The individual was interviewed by Agent ██████ before being given a higher dose of amnestics. The transcript of the interview is as follows:

Agent ██████: Hello, ████████. I'm Agent ██████, and I'm here to ask you some questions about what happened today.
████████: What happened today? You mean what happened over and over again for 120 years?
Agent ██████: What do you mean by that?
████████: Don't play dumb with me. You know what I mean. The time loop. The shootout. The gun.
Agent ██████: How do you know about those things?
████████: Because I remember them. All of them. Every single loop.
Agent ██████: How is that possible?
████████: I don't know. Maybe I'm special. Maybe I'm cursed. Maybe it's because I saw it happen.
Agent ██████: Saw what happen?
████████: The gun. The gun that started it all. The gun that killed him.
Agent ██████: Who are you talking about?
████████: Him. John "Black Jack" Ketchum. The outlaw. The gunslinger. The man who made his last stand.

Note: After the interview, ████████ was given a Class-C amnestic and released from custody. No further anomalous effects were observed in him or any other inhabitants of the town. It is unclear how ████████ was able to retain his memories of the time loop, or why he was the only one affected by this phenomenon. Further research is recommended to determine the cause and extent of this anomaly.

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For example a property near me sold for $300M a few years ago, but in the latest appraisal, the county said it was worth only $100M, which represents a 2/3 savings on what they will pay in taxes.
This is a consistent problem around the country. One of the main factors is that wealthier households and businesses will usually appeal or sue to get their taxes lowered, so the appraisors, wanting to avoid the hassle of going to court, will pre-emptively undervalue the property so that it doesn't happen.
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On the other hand the houses of lower income folks, which have lower values, tend to be appraised more in line with their sale price or even higher. For example "58% of the lowest-value homes are overassessed while 36% of the highest-value homes are overassessed"
​
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This has nothing to do with the tax rate - but rather the basic data that the tax rate is then applied to. This also has nothing to do with tax rebates or other programs to encourage development which build on the assessed value (discussed in the 11alive article)
​
https://www.strongtowns.org/journal/2023/4/24/wealthy-homeowners-are-getting-a-45-discount-on-property-taxes
https://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/hundreds-commercial-properties-undervalued-homeowners-high-taxes/85-e861dd4b-64f8-4337-ab26-3a2d5d26f501
https://www.strongtowns.org/journal/jafh-should-i-protest-my-property-taxes

# load packages library(dplyr) library(foreign) library(msm) library(stargazer) # load Svolik's original data data = read_stata("leaders, institutions, covariates, updated tvc.dta") # set a t0 for each row data = mutate(data,t0 = lag(t,default=0), .by=leadid) # coup survival object original survobj_coup = Surv(data[["t0"]], data[["_t"]], data$c_coup) # coup model original coups_original <- coxph(survobj_coup~legislature + lgdp_1+ growth_1 +exportersoffuelsmainlyoil_EL2008+ ethfrac_FIXED+ communist+ mil+ cw+ age, data=data, ties="breslow") # revolt survival object original survobj_revolt = Surv(data[["t0"]], data[["_t"]], data$c_revolt) # revolt model original revolt_original <- coxph(survobj_revolt~legislature + lgdp_1+ growth_1 +exportersoffuelsmainlyoil_EL2008+ ethfrac_FIXED+ mil+ cw+ age, data=data, ties="breslow") # natural survival object original survobj_natural = Surv(data[["t0"]], data[["_t"]], data$c_natural) # natural model original natural_original <- coxph(survobj_natural~legislature + lgdp_1+ growth_1 +exportersoffuelsmainlyoil_EL2008+ ethfrac_FIXED+ communist+ mil+ cw+ age, data=data, ties="breslow") # Define a function to exponentiate coefficients exp_coef <- function(x) {exp(x) } # Create the table using stargazer stargazer(natural_original, coups_original, revolt_original, apply.coef = exp_coef, p.auto = FALSE) 

I have been paying $490 per week for a standard but really nice SUV with enterprise for the last 6 weeks and will have to do so for another 6 weeks. I noticed enterprise is usually all booked so it got me wondering, why not fill the gap? DMV area, mostly (near or around DC area though so Baltimore County to Northern VA near Dulles).
So here’s the plan
Start off with 1 EV, Tesla model 3 Long Range with no full self driving ($50,380, $7500 tax incentive + $3000 state incentive). Then slowly scale up to Rivan R1S SUV ($80-90k) and the Cybertruk.
$80 daily rate (Monday - Thursday)
$150 daily rate (Friday - Sunday)
Loyalty program
-$100 p/m or rent for 10 weeks or longer per year to qualify
-$60 p/d rate
Optional add-ons

• $15 p/d for insurance
  
• $100 for pickup/drop off at xyz location
  
• $1.99 p/d or $10 p/m for Tesla connectivity
  

Customer acquisition

• online ads - $3.5 CPC, $15 CPM,
  
• 12.5% referral payout per rental
  
• online platforms such as turo, hyrecar, Ubers new platform
  
• partnership agreements with local businesses
  

$630 weekly rate ($90 p/day) if booked 24 hours in advance, $700 for instant booking
Rideshare option - renter can use for Uber or Lyft
Food delivery option - renter can use for Dominos or Doordash or Uber Eats, etc
US business mileage tax deduction- $0.65.
Assuming mostly rideshare drivers use me and the car is driven at least 100 miles per day, 36,500 miles * $0.65 = $23,725 back in taxes
Assuming I rent daily at my lowest price of $80, that’s $29,200 gross per vehicle.
$29,200 * 0.60 (40% tax) = $17,520 gross
$50,380 - $10,000 down payment = $40,380
$40,380 @ 10% interest, 48 months = $1,024.14 monthly
I want to pay the car off in 24 months
After 12 months, my balance will be $31,739.40
$31,739.40 - $7500 federal EV credit - $3,000 state EV credit = $21,739.40
I’m not sure how to calculate the mileage deduction so I’ll leave that out as extra income. I used to do Uber and Lyft and $200-300 after Uber fees working a day are realistic. I have also done Dominos which pays out $13 p/hr and has unlimited overtime if you are willing to close, you can seriously do 70 hours OT (10am to 2am) but your only driving half or 1/3 of the time, plus $350 tips, so your looking at $1000+ per week working 10-12 hrs daily, $1700 if your willing to slave away. The difference in electric vs gas is pretty significant. That cost savings could result in 50% savings. For example I was spending $50 daily to fill up with Uber (250-400 miles) and about $25 with dominos (120 miles).
I’m also calling up local repair shops and dealerships and businesses to offer my cars as loaners. Repair shops and dealers seem resistant though, they hate EVs. Dealerships in my area charge $50 per day for rentals while cars are being serviced. Not sure about how to contact insurance companies though.
So what do you guys think? Target market are gig workers who are all in for the most part, with some sprinkling of one off customers whether from partnering businesses or google ads, etc.

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Offering professional essay writing and academic help with over 10+ years of experience in writing. We have been working for various US/Canadian clients and regularly achieving high grades for our clients. Our primary focus is delivering high-quality, plagiarism-free content with the goal of achieving atleast 80% grades for our clients. Rest assured we will never submit AI content work unlike what other services do. All of our papers are genuine, custom written and we can provide reports from Turnitin and Copyleaks as proof.
The difference between us and many others is that you get someone experienced, with the ability to write in a clear and concise manner, providing you with error-free and polished writing. All of our research is backed up with high-quality academic sources such as peer-reviewed journals and established authority sources. We are familiar with most popular referencing styles, such as Harvard, APA, MLA, Chicago, Vancouver, and more and your work will be properly referenced according to your requested standard.
All work comes with our minimum grade guarantee and unlimited revisions for any errors. Most clients easily achieve 80%+ grades with our service & rarely require more than 1 revision. Types of work we can take include research papers, research proposals, essays, business reports, laboratory reports, book reviews, case studies, presentations, discussion posts, quizzes, online exams, etc.
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I NEED YOUR HELP!!!
I feel like my ECs are all over the place, and have no idea if my EC’s will even help me stand out or are even good. Please share your thoughts, and also please suggest any changes to my ECs and which ones I should use. TYSM
Demographics Gender: male Race/Ethnicity: white Residence: NY Income Bracket: middle class Type of School: public Hooks: divorced parents lol? Intended Major(s): mechanical engineering or CS
Academics GPA (UW/W): 95/108 Rank (or percentile): in the top 15/170

of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 1 Honors 10 IBs

Took only 1 honors class across freshman and sophomore years but junior and senior I took IB everything+calculus
Standardized Testing SAT: 1500 AP/IB: APWH 3 , IBs🤷‍♂️ Extracurriculars/Activities
(Ik I can only put 10)
Problem Solving Club: I started a club that used STEM to solve problems. I was foundepresident for 2 years. An example of a problem is school pew pews. We split up into teams to build our idea, and the school sorta impletened my team's idea. (pretty cool) (2 years.
Robotics: Member of Robotics for 2 years my schools team placed well in many competitions
Volleyball: Played volleyball for 3 years Freshman: JV Junior: Varsity Senior: Varsity
DECA: Was president of DECA for 2 years, grew the club from 5 members to 13.
App Developer: I have a mobile game studio. I created 3 apps all by myself that includes development process from conception, design, development, testing, and publication. Combined, the three apps have 20k+ downloads. One of my apps was selected for “Game of the week” by Google Play Store. I taught myself how to code. (2 years)
Jiu Jitsu: I have been competing in BJJ for 3 years outside of school, i have won multiple county tournaments and am now a purple belt. When I started I was told my injured arm would hold me back. (3 years)
Drone Racing: Ran an instagram page about drone photography, modding, racing etc. Grew it to 20k followers over 2 years posting every day. (2 years)
created landscaping solutions: My mom owns a landscaping company, when I went to work with her I saw how much of her day was spent fertilizing plants (like %30) so i created a product to increase efficiency and lower cost. It was built out of scrap and was 13X faster, I then began to distribute among other landscaping companies in my area. (1 year)
modded laptops: Customized over 100 laptops (painted them, modded panels, etc). Some of the brand themed laptops I built were bought by said brand which is pretty cool. Also ran an Instagram page about this too with 3k followers. (2 years)
Stock trading BUT WITH AI- Since freshman year I have been trading crypto, recently I created and implemented trading algorithms using AI. My algorithms result in profit %92 of the time and my overall return rate since freshman year is %6000 percent (that's not a joke). (Im not sending you it so please don't ask) (4 years)
Cashier: Worked as a cashier at a local pharmacy for 2 years on weekends. I introduced Apple pay and other payment methods.
6 week summer internship at well known company
Kittens: For over 2 years I have fostered 60+ kittens at my house (like 2-3 a month), this is a 24/7 task. I got an insane amount of community service hours from this, but that's not the reason I did it.
Old people: After [redacted life event] I started going to Old age homes to teach the residents how to use modern phones. I did this at like 20 places, which won me a community service award. (1 ish years)
Awards/Honors Community service awards National merit semifinalist DECA stuff Jiu Jitsu please chance me for CMU, northwestern, cornell and HYPSM any school recommendations are appreciated thanks for the help 😀

Apologies in advance if this turns into a book. I'm trying to organize my thoughts and I think there's a lot to process. If you get a little, or even all the way into this post and decide I'm a nutjob, no worries, I agree. This post an attempt to reach out and get objective feedback on my situation and maybe help me find a path forward. People try to paint themselves in a sympathetic light on these things or try to get people to respond in at way that confirms their own beliefs. I'm actively trying to avoid that, so this post may not paint me in the best light. If your objective feedback after reading this is that I'm an asshole and all of this is self inflicted, that at least gives me a starting point for improving things.
I (45m) am currently in my car driving around the US, mostly aimlessly, while I try to figure out what's next. I just went dark on my long time girlfriend (42f), family, and friends. Except for a laptop, camping gear, and car, I've left everything behind. I don't have a plan and haven't been able to come up with one as I can't seem to create a plan beyond more than 3 steps into the future. For now, it's mostly get food, get gas, find a safe place to sleep. I quit my job a couple of months ago because I just hit a point one day where I couldn't function and was too frustrated with my inability to progress, I didn't even give notice, I just stopped showing up. For context, this wasn't something like a mcdonalds job, it was a 200k+ career. I had people relying on me to deliver work and actually enjoyed my career for the most part, so walking away from it wasn't a trivial thing. I'm honestly not even sure at this point if I'd be able to restart my career *if* I do get my head straight again. So, that's the now-of-it, alone, adrift, and directionless.
I've been putting a lot of thought into how I reached this point. I believe it was a result of my relationships collapsing and general disillusionment with life.
I grew up poor in a single parent home, in and out of homelessness, with a lot of food insecurity. I used to think my mom did an ok job getting me to adulthood despite all that, but I've come to realize I came through with a lot of issues and baggage. As an example, I'm not what I would consider a good person. Lying, cheating, and stealing aren't moral issues for me, they're survival skills. If you've ever been hungry, truly hungry, you'll probably understand. I'm not proud of the skillset, and the more financially secure my life is the less I need to rely on it, but I think explaining my family life is key to understanding my current point in life. Another complication is that when I *try* to do the right thing it's sometimes to my own detriment. I'm a firm believer that your word is your bond. So when my mom told me at age 8 that I would one day buy her a house and fix all of her worries when I grew up, I became obligated to do so because I childishly agreed to the statement. In my mid-30s I bought her a house, had it completely renovated, and signed ownership over to her before the ink was dry. Despite having 1.2k a month in student loan debts, living with roommates to make ends meet, not being able to start a family of my own because I was barely over the poverty line (38k a year at that point), and... most importantly of all, knowing that she had zero financial responsibility and accountability on home ownership and that I'd probably be constantly bailing out that situation. I wasn't wrong, she nearly lost the house to the county for delinquent taxes the second year of ownership. I paid off the house and renovation expense so she only has to save ~$50 a month for taxes as her only expense on the house (utilities aside). I suspected the whole thing was a bad idea before I did it, but it's a part of my nature I'm constantly at odds with. If you have nothing because you're poor, your only offering of value is your word. Once I've been obligated to something I can't force myself to break the obligation, even if I know it'll be completely absurd. Another complication of the good deed (buying the house) is that my sisters and their children are constantly trying to gain ownership of it in one scheme after another. My family is not good with money, logic, or reality, so the idea of selling a 50k house with a $50 a month expense to move into a 150k house with a $1000 monthly payment appeals to them. I love my family and want to do right by them, but despite my efforts to improve it they are children. I spend a lot of time and money getting them out of self-created situations, and unfortunately they know and abuse the fact that if I say I'll do something it gets done. I constantly stress over being unemployed because *they* might need something. Oh, one last thing on the family life. I used to reach out to them to find out how they were doing and what was new, but over the past few years I've come to realize that was one-sided. *If* I get a phone call, email, or message it always means they want or need something. Usually it's for an overdue bill, to get a utility turned back on, lapsed taxes, or bail. About once every three months my mom sends me realtor listings for million dollar homes that she'd prefer to live in because the house I bought her didn't check all of the boxes she had in her head and I therefore haven't really met my obligation on it or something. Never "hey, how are you?", "what's new?", etc. They have absolutely no idea what's going on in my life, or me, and don't seem overly eager to find out. They don't even know when my birthday is, and only got a vague idea of what quarter of the year it falls in when I stopped sending them yearly gifts a couple of years ago. I told them about six months ago around Christmas that I was struggling, really told them and was very candid about being depressed but I didn't tell them any sources of my stress other than work. I try not burden people with my problems but it was a particularly painful low point for me and a bit of a last resort. I haven't been contacted by them since that trip: I avoid thinking about this too much.
I've a few friendships, mostly online, I established decades ago but some in person as well. These all got strained during the pandemic as I grew bored with an online presence and wanted something more tangible, while my offline friendships were out of reach due to isolation. As I tried to branch out and try different activities, sometimes even different but similar games, I discovered a resistance of my friends to try new things unless it was strictly on their terms. When I realized this I dug a little deeper and realized it wasn't just the games themselves, but even during day to day they only wanted to do activities that they chose, immediately shutting down anything not originating with them. I consider myself a pretty easy going person and not overly demanding. I've come to realize my attitude towards life may have created a situation where I'm surrounded by people that are only interested in being my friend because they always get their way. I started testing this by trying to get some of them to do activities that I was certain they would like, even if I didn't, just to see if they'd partake. Time after time they refused to even entertain the suggestion, and yet I have several examples where the same activity was suggested at different times on their terms, sometimes vehemently, and they considered it the best thing since sliced bread. I spent a few years dissecting these relationships and I can now state with certainty that these relationships are just very one sided. It's made me conclude that I am the one seeking out these types of relationships. Something in me is causing me to surround myself with self absorbed people.
Lastly, my girlfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for a little over ten years. I don't know if we have a good relationship or if it's just another problematic relationship. At this point, I'm questioning everything I know about myself and the people around me, so I don't actually trust my own judgement. The first few years of our relationship were good, but with mixed long distance as I had to move away for work but we kept it going. I eventually moved back to her city and we discussed living together. I told her my only reservation was a previous experience living with someone. Shortly after moving in with an ex the ex quit her job, kicked up her feet, and seemed to settle into domestic life. The ex didn't really discuss any of this, just kind of decided on her own one day, and it ultimately led to us splitting. The current girlfriend told me many times that I was projecting insecurities on her and she wasn't like that. This was about three years into the relationship. She swayed my fears and I moved in with her. Two months into living together her dad gets sick and she quits her job to become his caretaker. That lasted another two years before he passed away and I took over all the bills to help out during that time. We then discussed buying a home and moving since I could get approved for the mortgage and she had enough money for a down payment as she'd gotten a little inheritance. I was hesitant to buy more than we needed in a house but she wanted more and swayed my concerns by telling me when she got a job we'd have an additional chunk of money to handle it all, so we got a larger house. That never materialized. In the years we lived in the house she would take short-term jobs and probably only worked for about three months in the whole time. She ultimately decided to return to college to get a second degree. I told her I would support that, but she had to get a degree that she could actually use to get a job since she considered her first degree to be useless. She *assured* me that she could get a job with it no problem, so I supported her. She graduated during covid with a bachelor's in speech pathology and told me that she wouldn't be able to find a job immediately due to working from home and needing lab hours. This over the course of a year or two evolved into other reasons eventually landing on she would need to get a master's degree in speech pathology to ultimately get a job. Since she still didn't have a job I insisted we sell the house that I was drowning in. We did and moved into a rental. While living there she held down a job for around four months before quitting as she didn't enjoy it. At some point she made a comment about being fortunate enough to pick and choose the work she did, it still stings to think about having that conversation as I was around 8 years into a job that I absolutely detested but stuck with for stablity.
That's probably my second biggest issue with her. I wanted to start a family, she wants kids too. Honestly, having kids in this world we live in scares the hell out of me and I'm not certain it's fair to the kid. In order to overcome my own issues (see above) I need to be certain my kids have the best start in life they can have. That means not being raised in a family living paycheck to paycheck. They'd have enough to deal with with the world exploding, being concerned about the next meal shouldn't be a thing. So for me, I needed us to be financially secure for that step. We never got there. She doesn't understand the value in keeping commitments like I do, especially when the promise of something down the line is your only bargaining power, but maybe that's just me holding her to a standard for something I've acknowledged is a personal problem. The biggest issue I have is that she's super conflict avoidant. I can't have important conversations with her that may create discord. Anytime we have a conversation that causes discomfort (even slight) she shuts down and won't talk, generally she'll just walk out of the room. Upside?, we never argue. Downsides? I have to guess as to her wants and needs, or get blasted with an encyclopedia of information when it's clear I'm considering ending the relationship, it's almost like a trump card now. I get frustrated and try to make a plan for the future and suddenly get inundated with hopes/dreams/fears I'd suspected existed but never had any real confirmation. Unfortunately at this point it may just be too late of a revelation for me? Once you past a certain point of frustration, the original reason stops mattering as much. This has been particularly pertinent for me over the past couple of years. I got depressed, [I deleted this section going into too much detail about my depression] so I had a conversation with my girlfriend. It just seemed to make her uncomfortable and seemed pointless, so I've never brought it up again. It made me understand how all those husbands and fathers off themselves and their families seem completely oblivious there was ever an issue.
I try to think about this objectively and put myself outside of my own perspective, but it's hard to know if I'm reaching valid conclusions or just have a skewed perception of reality. I mean, people like good people right? So if I was a good person, I would have people to talk this over with instead of posting to the interwebz. So that strongly suggests I'm not a great person. The evidence kind of supports this with my family's lack of contact after broaching the subject with them and there were some attempts on my part with friends, same result. I also once asked my girlfriend if I ever inspired her to be a better person. She laughed and definitively stated no. It was discouraging. I felt I genuinely supported her getting her degree and finding a career she was happy with. I didn't put time limits on it and never questioned her about finding work. I also tried encouraging her to pursue her other interests that may or may not have mattered monetarily. I hoped for better things, but I can only conclude she took any attempts I made as criticism instead. I'm probably rambling gibberish at this point.
Anyway, I'm trying something different now. For most of my life I've focused on what other people want: job, family, friends, girlfriend. At this point I don't actually know what I want vs. goals I've adopted from other people's agendas. I've pretty firmly decided to separate myself from the people currently in it. I've going back and forth over events of the past several years and I just can't objectively conclude they want me in their lives in a meaningful non-transactional relationship.
A. Buy a house in the woods and try living by myself - I'm not really rich at this point but I can afford to buy a small homestead and live independently for the rest of my life. I am very comfortable in my own company and just haven't had good luck with people in general. I could see this giving me time to explore myself a bit more and maybe approach the world on my own terms in the future.
B. Move to another country - This may sound like running away, but I think there's a bit of value in having the option for unconventional relationships. I'm not really sure what kind of relationships I can maintain at this point. I've lost trust in people in general. It would force me to approach interactions with people in a more elementary way, which I think I could benefit from. Any weirdness in my interactions would hopefully be written off as "he's just that weird American". I suspect people are a little more willing to be patient with "foreign friends". This option gets bonus points for not running the risk of getting shot up if I decide to check out the local mall.
C. Walk about - Travel a bit, stop and explore, work through internal conflict. Keep moving until something clicks in place. I'm kind of already doing this and it's not mutually exclusive to the other items on this list.
D. Check myself into a nut house - I had a friend struggle with his mental health in my twenties and I watched him go into facility after facility to no avail. I've also seen the studies where perfectly healthy people check themselves into facilities without ever reaching the point they were "qualified" to be released. So I am skeptical there is permanent help here. However, I am also aware that my self assessment ability atm may be compromised so am open to the idea of an alternative path.
Yeah, that was a book of text.

Self-improvement is kinda crazy.
One week you can feel on top of the world; you're being consistent with your habits, making progress in the gym, eating right, having unshakeable self-belief, etc.
It's just all going right.
Then within just a few days, you can go from sigma-male-nothing-can-stop-me-I'm-a-beast levels of enthusiasm to I'm-such-a-loser-all-I-do-is-lose levels of hate and frustration.
I'm sure you know this all too well. You've probably gone through multiple stages of both progression and regression that have made you doubt whether or not it is possible to stop slipping back into your old ways. I've been through the motions too many times to count, so I know: it sucks.
But have you ever wondered why you keep regressing to your old degenerate ways? Have you ever considered what causes it and when it happens?
Understanding this will be the first step towards achieving progress for longer and more often.
And don't worry! It's not because of some external force, genetic condition, or ingrained personality trait that is the cause of this. It's usually due to a lack of knowledge or certain misunderstandings.
Anybody can change with the correct awareness and beliefs. Truly. It just takes some time.
Here is my ultimate guide to why you keep regressing and struggling to progress. There are quite a few points, so let's not waste any more time.

Do You Deserve It?

Self-improvement is hard. If you don't find it difficult, you're probably doing something wrong.
Whether it is a business you're trying to build, a body you're trying to perfect, or just a simple habit you're trying to stick to, you will face resistance.
This resistance will manifest in countless ways: procrastination, fear, anxiety, doubt, perfectionism, avoidance, etc. How you react to and tolerate that resistance determines just how much you deserve to progress.
The reason for this is that it is the universe testing you to see if you deserve whatever desired result you're striving for. You ask the universe for a desired future, and in return, it challenges you to make sure you deserve it. These challenges from the universe will come as a form of resistance.
When you apply effort to something that you are resisting, you will get pain.
Effort x Resistance = Pain
However much pain you are willing to tolerate and persist with will predict how much success you will be given.
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“To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want. The world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of undeserving people.” ~ Charlie Munger

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Do you tolerate and persist with 80% of the pain you have felt? Then the universe will give you 80% of the desired outcome. If it is 40%, then you'll get 40%. You can also think of this in terms of momentum.
The universe is always watching and will know when you're deserving of something. It almost works like a transaction: you want a desired outcome, the universe asks for pain as currency to pay for this outcome, you accumulate this currency and pay when you meet resistance with effort, and then you get the amount you deserve.
So ask yourself: how do you react to resistance? Do you give up quickly? Do you give in to resistance and reduce all effort that is needed?
Now ask yourself: do you deserve to achieve your goals given how much pain you tolerate and how much effort you meet resistance with?

You Are At War With Yourself

On the topic of pain, there is a form of resistance you feel that you might never have noticed. A form of resistance that will peak when you have the most momentum.
What is this form of resistance?
The fear of improving. The fear of forming a different, better identity.
All living things have a sort of factory setting that ensures every action they take is geared towards a better chance of survival. Otherwise, organisms would die out. Duh.
When you improve, you are moving further and further away from your current identity; you are transcending into someone different - into someone capable of achieving your goals.
And your current sense of self hates that. What you are essentially doing is committing a form of psychological suicide.
And remember, things are geared to survive. Your current self will put up a fight to try and keep you from evolving and killing your current identity.
It fights by creating fear, doubt, anxiety, etc. It will fight the hardest when you are closest to killing it and transcending. This is when you are most likely to concede to the negative emotions it conjures up.
This is why you have a wave-like pattern of ups and downs. Your current self keeps fighting to pull you back, and it does so with formidable determination.
You must take note when you are gaining momentum and reaching a peak. These are the moments when pain and resistance must be tolerated most.
Also, remember: you know yourself best. So your current self will pit every weakness against you. It won't play nice and most certainly won't play fair. It's fighting to survive!

The Brick Wall Of Beliefs

Beliefs dictate how reality manifests to you. How you perceive the world, other people, and everything else is the result of your belief systems.
You could be getting pranked into a false sense of reality for your whole life.
For example, if you believe that bulls get provoked by the colour red, you will go through life adhering to that. So if you see a matador wave a red cape in front of a raging bull, you will think: "Oh, it's angry because of the red!". When in truth, bulls are red-green colour-blind. It is the motion of the cape that provokes them.
That was a trivial example, but imagine how many false or negative beliefs have a significant impact.
And once you believe something and receive feedback, the belief strengthens and solidifies. Then it becomes harder to break and has more emotion tied to it
Understand, however, that no belief is necessarily bad. If your beliefs are in accordance with nature and are conducive towards your goals, who is to say they are bad?
Unfortunately, most people will go through life without realising this and continue to have beliefs that work against and limit them.
Maybe you believe that:

• You can't improve
• Improving is hard
• It is hard to be happy
• It is difficult to change your beliefs

If you believe these, they will likely become true due to feedback loops.
The most important belief is believing that you are capable of changing your beliefs. Neuroplasticity has proven that you can change the neural circuits in your brain. You are not fixed. You are malleable and are in control of rewiring your brain.
Use this information to your advantage: set yourself up for success by converting negative beliefs into good ones.
Your beliefs will determine what actions you take. If you want to change your actions, change your beliefs.
If you believe improving is difficult or takes forever, then it will present itself as so.
If you believe that you will always regress, then you will.
If you believe you can't do x, y, or z, you probably won't be able to.
Set yourself up for success. Adopt serving beliefs and act accordingly. Get positive results and let the feedback response do the rest.
Beliefs can make or break you. What would you prefer?

Diving Straight Into The Deep End

This is dedicated to my fellow perfectionists, over-achievers, and people who set way too high a standard for themselves.
Firstly, hey! Secondly: it sucks, doesn't it?
When I first decided to create a routine, it took me two days. Two. Days. How f*cking crazy is that? I reckon That's a record.
I over-perfected the shit out of that routine. I included: meditation, journalling, playing an instrument, learning a language, reading time, writing time, gym work, yoga, jogging, meditation again, studying, visualisation, deep work... and much more. Oh, and I also planned every single 30 minutes of the day.
Shit, I feel overwhelmed just reading that. Wtf was I thinking?
I jumped into a routine - that should take years to implement - within just a few seconds. And I had hardly ever done most of those habits before!
Do you think it was sustainable? Of course not. I stuck to it for about one week (if that).
My past self really did have his bruh moments.
It took me a few more (ok, many more) attempts to figure out how slowly I should take it.
So bro, chill with it a bit at first, y'know? Don't dive straight into the deep end. My journey started properly by underachieving. Only then I could build on it.
So, instead of doing a hundred things at once, go reaaaal low. Lower than you think you should. You've got to play limbo with this shit.
Otherwise, you'll burn out and overwhelm yourself.
Instead of setting a goal of 30 mins of meditation for 30 days, set a goal of 3 mins of meditation for five days. Once you've proven yourself capable, then add more to the discipline. You can also add new habits to complement it.
And if you struggle with that, go even lower. There is no shame in it - you don't need to be a sigma-male, nut-sack-grindset, wake-up-at-3:45 am-every-day, and meditate-57-hours-per-day nerd to "improve". There is no rush. Rushing into it is more likely to waste your time and cause you to default to old ways.
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A super-cool quick tip: Instead of setting goals and putting them on a pedestal, create "messy experiments". If, like me, you have consistently been inconsistent with your disciplines, you will probably feel like you will fail before you start, creating undue tension and stress.
By creating experiments, you remove this mindset, giving it a less stressful appearance.

• Failing a goal: "Oh no, I failed! I'm bad at this. I keep struggling to stick to things."
• Failing an experiment: "Oh, this didn't go to plan! I will create another experiment and, based upon what I learned, alter it slightly."

This has worked well for me. Experiments I don't tend to over-plan or perfect. Goals and stuff like that I do. Why don't you experiment (sorry) and see what works for you?

Are You Someone That You Want to Improve?

This point is of such significance that I created a separate Reddit post about it.
Are you sure that you are someone that you want the best for? Are you somebody that you want to care for and look after? Do you treat yourself more like a friend or a foe?
Has it ever occurred to you the possibility that you don't like yourself enough to be better?
Have you ever gone out of your way to thoroughly improve the quality of life for somebody you find insufferable?
I doubt it.
If you see yourself as insufferable, it will be near-impossible to progress. Your beliefs determine your actions, remember.
If you act out of alignment with your beliefs you will create incongruence. Act in a way that says: "I want to improve", but then think of yourself as someone who deserves the worst, and it just ain't gonna work, man.
You'll be able to make some progress, but you will fall back to default quickly. Self-sabotage will be way too rife.
If you believe this is the case, please try to focus on rekindling your relationship with yourself.

Don't Raise The Roof; Raise Your Standards

Would you tolerate going for one week without washing? What about one month?
How about your teeth; how long would you tolerate going without brushing them?
Now, take note of every time that you have broken this intolerance. Chances are, you haven't (at least I hope not, you dirty animal).
Instead of raising goals and reaching high into the sky, raise your standards instead. Standards you never breach, goals you rarely reach. It even has a nice lil rhyme!
Putting goals up high inflates their importance, making you think they're difficult to obtain. The more unobtainable something seems, the less reasonable it will seem to act towards. Thus, you won't act as you are required.
If, instead, you set goals as your new standard, you will work towards ensuring you never dip below them or breach them.
Think right now about the default habits and actions you keep returning to. Notice how you never go lower than that? It's because you won't tolerate it. Lowering yourself past that would disgust you or make you feel slightly sick.
When you notice yourself gaining momentum or starting to peak, be aware and make it a standard from now on. This will help prevent you from regressing.
You can do this for both short-term and long-term situations. Either way, it shifts your ass into gear if implemented correctly.
Remind yourself of this often. It can take some time to stick.

You're A Little Too Cozy

You are likely improving yourself to make your situation better. That's what you think.
The more likely reason is that you're trying to escape an undesirable situation. Instead of chasing something, you're running from something.
The more undesirable - or uncomfortable - your situation, the more drive you will have to free yourself from it.
So, if you're content with how things are, you have nothing to run from.
This creates less urgency and a less powerful call to action.
Lots of successful people (whose wealth isn't family derived) have track records of being in horrible situations.
If you're doing pretty solid right now, you might not be able to justify the effort needed to do the work required to improve.
I'm not saying that you need to make yourself seriously uncomfortable! That would be dumb.
However, some situational analysis could come in handy.
What would your dream position be in five years? Would you reach that dream situation, given how you currently behave? Give this some deep thought, not a barely-conscious read. This stuff is vital.
Compare who you are right now with who you need to be to achieve your dreams. Do they match? If not, what sort of future do you envision if you continue as you are?
Explore this more and see if it helps. Jordan Peterson has a course called "the self-authoring Program", which is all of this, but in detail. I've not personally bought it, but I've heard great things.

"You're a victim!"

The victim mentality is yet another one of the unfortunate cancers that society propagates as normality. Most of the time, it is promoted and endorsed.
Victim mentality is phenomenal... if you want to sacrifice your freedom to take control of your life.
Don't get me wrong - shit happens to people. Real bad things. And there will be circumstances that call for a time to say: "It's not my fault!". This is rare. And in any case, being indignant has never helped anybody.
As long as you offload blame for your current circumstance onto other people and external forces, you will remain unable to take control of your life. You will perpetually flee from responsibility.
It isn't anyone's fault.
It isn't some higher being's fault.
It isn't that one person who said that one thing that caused that one thing's fault.
Where you currently are is a result of every action you've ever taken. Sometimes things will happen to you that are out of your control. How you react and use these experiences is within your control, however.
The more control and excuses you attach to other people, the less power you have over your development.
Having the "f*ck everyone else, it's all their fault, capitalism is a scam, life's unfair, blah blah blah" mentality is such an easy way out. So firstly, how boring! Secondly, Nobody with sense will want to be around you. And thirdly, you will shut down avenues of improvement that will stunt your growth.
It isn't easy to suddenly feel responsible for so much in your life. It might feel quite daunting! But it is much better than living your life as a shell of what you could have been.
Hopefully, at the same time, it feels liberating. You can finally take back control.
Take responsibility, and the growth potential becomes infinite.

Direction, Direction, Direction.

Do you have clear goals? Do you know exactly who you need to become for these goals?
A vivid picture of the future should be painted in your mind. This is vital for many reasons:

1. Trajectory prevents chaos and anxiety. Instead, it promotes order and a sense of direction.
2. It allows the subconscious to justify work and give reason to your actions.
3. He who is lost cannot be found.

If you do not have goals or an understanding of who you want to become - and I mean a really clear understanding - then you will go through life blind. You will stumble into who you become rather than intentionally choosing the best future for yourself.
If you do tasks for the sake of it - like meditation and journalling - and don't apply any reason or purpose behind them, you will struggle to maintain them.
You won't be able to justify doing them when resistance comes into play.
​

"He who has a why can bear almost any how" - Friedrich Nietzsche

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Once you have an intense and clear image of the ideal future set out for yourself, you will naturally find aligning your actions for improvement easier. Your subconscious will no longer be working against you.
You'll be shooting in the dark if you're uncertain who you're becoming.
This will make your actions seem unimportant or futile.
As long as there is a lack of intention behind your actions, It will be hard to track any form of significant improvement.
Find your "what", and you will have a "why". This will empower every action you take.

You're Not Tracking Enough

If you do not track what you do:

1. How will you be able to know if you do or do not make progress?
2. You will not be able to identify patterns for your progression/regression.

Firstly: how certain are you that you are not making progress?
If you're not tracking your habits and what you're doing, you will struggle to evaluate your situation and how you're doing.
Use google sheets - or something similar - and note some important metrics:

• Were you consistent today?
• How focused were you?
• How did you find it?
• Is anything else of significance to add?

Over time you will build a bank of understanding and, most importantly, a way to identify your highs and lows.
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You need an objective way to identify what you're doing. It will allow you to identify any emerging patterns that either aid or hinder your progress.
Once you notice these patterns, you can learn to identify them as they happen, allowing you to rectify them. Understanding yourself and patterns of action that lead to regression is paramount to preventing it from happening.
The first step is always awareness.
Become your own lil data scientist. Seeing tangible data about yourself and using it to learn more about yourself to grow can be surprisingly fun.

Concluding Thoughts And Stuff

It's important not to beat yourself up when you have dips; it's all a part of the learning process. I know it's disheartening after all the work you've put in, but no experience is a bad experience.
Setbacks are necessary to grow: you need them to learn and develop.
So, be grateful for the setbacks. They are a test for you to prove your worth - to see how much you deserve to progress.
You should feel honoured that the universe has chosen you to rise to the occasion.
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The purpose of the post was to give you insight into why progression can seem so challenging. I talked little about solutions, as that would make the post kinda chunky.
Although I touch on how to solve each issue slightly, there is much more depth to them that I want to describe separately.
Thus, I will make future posts with solutions dedicated to each separate issue and how I have personally dealt with them. That's the plan, at least!
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There are probably a bunch more points to discuss, but these are the ones that have been most prevalent for me.
So lmk what you think! I'd love to hear anything you've learnt from experience.
Thanks for reading.

TLDR: I worked a job selling newspaper ads with an incompetent and mean boss that paid pennies and I'm glad to be gone but I need a job
I quit my job over two months ago and am still looking for work (if some needs a "diversity token" bsba in marketing and management with 3 years experience and fantastic writing and people skills) but trying to look for a job is making me wonder if what comes next could be worse.
This was my first "real" job out of college, selling ads for a local newspaper. The newspaper is part of a big and obviously very old company, that had recently bought a bunch of local town/city newspapers in my state. And according to quite literally everyone in our maybe 50 person company, this made the job unbearable. Like, people who had been there for 15 - 30+ years quit because of the change, one lady cussed out our ceo to be fired and still wasn't, absolutely unbearable.
I was at the job for about 4 months and initially really liked it. Very lax for the most part, I could basically come in whenever as long as I got my work done. We also had to travel a lot, so some days I would leave straight from home and make my rounds and be done for the day, as long as I was able to be contacted.
Here's the primary issue: it didn't matter when you started work, it would take almost the entire day to do anything. There were days I would get to work at 7 am and not leave until 11 pm. We got no overtime, you could only get overtime if you were asked to come in on weekends, but that never happened and usually the entire team had to work weekends anyway. Or you could have it "authorized" a week in advance... there's no way to professionally and successfully say, "All of this work takes over 12 hours most days."
We had meetings every Monday to catch up each other's activities. During one of these meetings, our boss said "we're not working hard enough" if we're leaving at 5pm (day is 8 - 5). The ads we sold were insanely expensive, it could cost as much as $2600 for a full page ad in a newspaper with ~5k subscribers. And boy did we lose subscribers every day. We also had a month and a half where the print was so horrible it was basically unreadable and looked 3D, it cost sales reps $100s each to accommodate angry advertisers but our ceo and boss didn't think it was a big deal.
We'd have "special sections" every month with discounted ads. And between 5 reps for all of the newspapers (I want to say there were 7 or 8) they asked us to bring in about 200k a month. We'd all have different quotas based on our progress, but we had to sell 70% of whatever number we got for the month to make commission, which also had a standard amount of $1350 regardless of what your goal was. They could pick any number, there was no real math to back it 😭 You get the minimum commission your first 3 months, but after, you could be at 69.99999999999% and not see any extra. It was a trend to make commission every other month because they increase the goal just enough that you can't reach it again. With the special sections, ads were discounted like crazy, so of course no one is going to buy an ad to run during the 2 weeks of the month they're not on sale. My boss never seemed to understand this. He thought we just weren't pushing hard enough. Sometimes we'd have 2-3 special sections a month, and my boss would make these horribly designed fliers for "business builders" that still no one wanted because it's NEWSPAPER ADS IN 2023.
Every newspaper had a website you could sell ads for too but the websites were hardly ever updated. Even when I quit in April our most recent obituaries were from November. The two editors were openly careless and disregarded people that came to see them with stories or events they wanted to run, and yet, every week the newspapers were filled with stories from towns sometimes an hour or two away from the town the paper's for because they "just didn't have enough stories." The editor wouldn't meet anyone, even chamber of commerce reps, and we had one reporter getting paid less than me going to 9 different cities and writing. Our editor only ever wrote opinion pieces lol
This was mostly fine with me at the time because I just really needed a job. Like most, but like, jesus I needed to work and at a little over $11 an hour it was paying good, but I also worked at Ulta in 2021 and they paid me more.
I realized I had to quit fairly early on. My boss was only ever encouraging to a coworker that had jurisdiction over an entire county and another that had inherited clients after the woman before him quit after 33 years. According to my coworker she told the bosses that she "prays for the next person who has to shovel shit for you two assholes." Pretty much everyone who quit cussed them out after lmao
My boss would come to me the first week of every month and be like "you're not selling enough :/ why" as if I was supposed to be miss supersale. This started because in my second month, HE gave me the wrong list of clients. I made a $3,000 sale. But when we recognized it wasn't in my "territory" the sale went to the coworker with jurisdiction over an entire county. I drove an hour and back for meetings, met with them several times, sat down and did complex math with my boss that if I closed my eyes I would assume is the smoking section of an old restaurant; became friends with the people. We were always told to sell into other papers, but because this coworker had already worked with the people MONTHS before (they never mentioned her) she got the sale. She did none of the work and the sale I made was over double what she initially had them at.
If you didn't start out way over your goal, he'd usually meet with everyone, but it was more often with me. I wasn't the only new person either. We had about 11 people quit before I came on, all from different departments. That number is now 17 if you count me, one of those being a woman who was hired a week after me and quit a week after me too (we worked in different cities, I barely knew her.)
My boss started meeting with me almost every week on the worst day possible: the day we make the most visits because the paper is out. He wants to meet at 9 am for 2 hours to "talk about my progress." This news is given to me by him slamming his hand on a table and yelling at me. Mind you, I didn't do anything but not sale over 70%. Every month I was there I was selling right at my 70% by some miracle. He started off this same meeting by immediately coming into my office and saying that I'm "mean and condescending" because I sent an email with wording he "didn't like" (it was grammatically correct English about how we were promised a business directory that was already a month late getting to us, even though, like I said, he came every damn week.) He told me I need to take my therapy appointments less often (they are once a month or two over telehealth for 30 minutes, during lunch [but because the job is so easy you should be working then too!!]), and after all this, gives me a huge packet of health insurance forms that I had already done my first week there, tells me to fill them out again, and says, "I should've given this to you weeks ago. It'll take about a month to process." I had already waited 90 days to get it.
Another kicker: I was in an car accident about a year ago now. I'm fine, but my car is fucked up, already old, and it's truly a blessing that I can still drive it just fine despite pouring money into it and not being able to afford a car atm. I don't know why but I told my boss this, and ever since, he had been asking me if I got a car, asking if I had family or friends' cars to borrow for work, and saying I needed to "get to it!" in terms of buying one. I thought about it today and I definitely put about 2500 miles on my car just from that job. We did get paid ~$1 per mile and $30/m for a phone bill.
This is so long I'll be surprised if anyone reads it. Like I said it's been months and honestly there's probably stuff I'm forgetting. I would truly rather have my mental health than be there even though I still really need a job and it's been hell finding one for whatever reason. And after reading all this back, maybe I didn't overreact, but are all jobs like this, especially right now when I'm only a year out of college? Was I supposed to be good at math to not absolutely hate my career?

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# Today In Phishstory - June 9th Brought to you by tiph-bot. Beep.
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Phish

Phish, Tuesday 06/09/2009 (14 years ago) Asheville Civic Center, Asheville, NC, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 2009 Early Summer Tour
Set 1 : Kill Devil Falls , The Moma Dance , Sample in a Jar , Stash , Dog Faced Boy , Gumbo , Tube , Lengthwise , Divided Sky , When the Cactus is in Bloom ¹ , Bold As Love
Set 2 : Backwards Down the Number Line > Ghost > Fast Enough for You , Halley's Comet > Maze , Alaska ¹ , Theme From the Bottom , Golgi Apparatus , Possum
Encore : Loving Cup
1 Phish debut.
Jamchart Notes:
Backwards Down the Number Line - "Type I" version with great strumming by Trey and a short outro jam that > to "Ghost."
Show Notes:
This show featured the Phish debuts of When the Cactus is in Bloom and Alaska. Before Dog Faced Boy, Trey explained that while living with Fish, he wrote Dog Faced Boy, Tube and Gumbo based on entries in one of Fish's journals. During Dog Faced Boy, Fish left his drum kit and lay down in front of the stage because he didn't need to sing the song. Lengthwise (performed a cappella ) was played for the first time since July 28, 1998 (233 shows). Bold as Love was played for the first time since October 6, 2000 (74 shows).
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Friday 06/09/2000 (23 years ago) On Air East, Shibuya-ku, Tokyo, , Japan
Gap Chart, Tour: 2000 Summer Japan Tour
Set 1 : Axilla > Taste , Billy Breathes , Poor Heart > Golgi Apparatus > Funky Bitch , The Moma Dance > First Tube > Chalk Dust Torture
Set 2 : Tweezer , Bouncing Around the Room ¹ , The Mango Song , The Squirming Coil > Gotta Jibboo > Meatstick ² > Tweezer Reprise
Encore : You Enjoy Myself
1 Brief outro solo from Trey, which replaced the usual closing guitar lick. 2 First Meatstick to feature Japanese lyrics.
Jamchart Notes:
Funky Bitch - Atypically improvisational must-hear monster.
Chalk Dust Torture - Winning fans in Japan. This huge first-set-closing version raises hell and ends, but then there's a second ending that concludes cacophonously.
Tweezer - Atypically slow but monstrously improvisational version that has several peaks and valleys before speeding-up and concluding in a melodic, triumphant, must-fucking-hear manner.
The Mango Song - Ending jam segment stretches the limits of the basic jam with some nice rhythmic variation, but still stays "in bounds."
You Enjoy Myself - Deeeep, funky jam/groove, and the return of the B&D; segment!
Show Notes:
The Moma Dance included Funky Bitch teases and Tweezer included Funk #49 teases. This was the first ever Meatstick to feature Japanese lyrics and Trey flubbed the words while attempting to sing them. Bouncing included a brief outro solo from Trey, which replaced the usual closing guitar lick. This show was re- broadcast on Japanese television.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Friday 06/09/1995 (28 years ago) Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Morrison, CO, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1995 Summer Tour
Set 1 : My Friend, My Friend , Divided Sky , Strange Design > The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > AC/DC Bag > Theme From the Bottom , Taste , Sparkle > Run Like an Antelope
Set 2 : Split Open and Melt , The Wedge , Scent of a Mule , Cavern > David Bowie , Acoustic Army , Sweet Adeline , Slave to the Traffic Light
Encore : The Squirming Coil
Jamchart Notes:
Run Like an Antelope - Unusual jam. Sort of off-key. Sort of evil. Dissonant and anti-melodic. No real peak; it just fades into "Rocco."
Split Open and Melt - Improvisational playing in several sections tests the rhythmic and melodic standards for "SOAM" in this solid version.
Show Notes:
Part of the soundcheck's jam consisted of 25 or 6 to 4.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Thursday 06/09/1994 (29 years ago) Triad Amphitheater, Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1994 Summer Tour
Set 1 : Llama , Guelah Papyrus , Rift , Down with Disease > It's Ice > If I Could > Maze , Fee ¹ , Suzy Greenberg
Set 2 : Split Open and Melt , Glide > Julius , Halley's Comet -> Scent of a Mule , Ginseng Sullivan ² , Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove , Golgi Apparatus
Encore : Highway to Hell
1 Trey sang verses through megaphone. 2 Acoustic and without microphones. Fish on Madonna washboard.
Jamchart Notes:
It's Ice - Good rocking jam with excellent Fish and solid Trey (of course Page is great).
Mike's Song - The 1st jam is rocking and ass kicking, with a clever little "Tweeprise"-like walk up. The 2nd jam is basically a non-vocal version of something very "Simple"-like. Just listen and you'll hear it. The return to "Mike's" has more crazed '94 scream-infused power action.
Show Notes:
Trey sang the verses of Fee through a megaphone. Ginseng Sullivan was performed acoustic without microphones and featured Fish on Madonna washboard.
Listen now at Phish.in!
Phish, Saturday 06/09/1990 (33 years ago) The Wetlands Preserve, New York, NY, USA
Gap Chart, Tour: 1990 Tour
Set 1 : Possum , Lawn Boy > Reba , Dinner and a Movie > Bouncing Around the Room > Tweezer , Uncle Pen > Mike's Song > I Am Hydrogen > Weekapaug Groove
Set 2 : Whole Lotta Love Jam > Harry Hood , The Man Who Stepped Into Yesterday > Avenu Malkenu > La Grange , Fee -> Foam , The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony > Suzy Greenberg > Run Like an Antelope , Hold Your Head Up > Terrapin > Hold Your Head Up , Harpua , Good Times Bad Times
Encore : Take the 'A' Train > Contact
Jamchart Notes:
Foam - -> in from "Fee." Groovy and excellent Page section with solid backing from Mike and Fish. It's all good from there.
Run Like an Antelope - Good exploratory version that gets nicely beyond the standard. Great tension, dissonance and experimental jamming.
Show Notes:
Harpua included Funkytown teases and 'A' Train contained a Dixie tease from Trey. The band launched into the second set-opening Whole Lotta Love Jam as the DJ had been spinning the original Zeppelin version. The opening act was The Aquarium Rescue Unit.
Listen now at Phish.in!

Trey Anastasio

Trey Anastasio Trio, 2023-06-09 Mission Ballroom, Denver, CO, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-trio-june-09-2023-mission-ballroom-denver-co-usa.html
Tour: Not Part of a Tour
Show Notes:
Trey Anastasio Band, 2006-06-09 Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre - Charlotte, Charlotte, NC, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-june-09-2006-verizon-wireless-amphitheatre-charlotte-charlotte-nc-usa.html
Tour: TAB - Early Summer 2006 Tour
Show Notes: This single set performance was as the opening act for Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. This setlist is unconfirmed as recordings of the performance do not circulate.
Trey Anastasio Band, 2002-06-09 Tower City Amphitheatre, Cleveland, OH, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/trey-anastasio-june-09-2002-tower-city-amphitheatre-cleveland-oh-usa.html
Tour: TAB - The Dectet Summer 2002 Tour
Show Notes: The rendition of "Plasma" from this gig appears on Trey's live CD of the same name. Trey performed "Ray Dawn Balloon" acoustic.

Mike Gordon

Mike Gordon, 2015-06-09 The Pageant, St. Louis, MO, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/mike-gordon-june-09-2015-the-pageant-st-louis-mo-usa.html
Tour: Mike Gordon - Summer 2015 Tour
Show Notes:

John Fishman

Jazz Mandolin Project, 2004-06-09 32 Bleu, Colorado Springs, CO, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/jon-fishman-june-09-2004-32-bleu-colorado-springs-co-usa.html
Tour: Fish - Jazz Mandolin Project Summer 2004 Tour
Show Notes:

Page McConnell

Page McConnell, 2007-06-09 Bogart's, Cincinnati, OH, USA
Setlist: https://phish.net/setlists/page-mcconnell-june-09-2007-bogarts-cincinnati-oh-usa.html
Tour: Page McConnell Spring & Summer 2007 Tour
Show Notes: This setlist is unconfirmed as recordings of the show do not circulate.

So my friend and I were having a discussion and he started quoting things from the Journal of Discourses and saying that the JD is doctrine. I told him that I remember the church is stating that they are no longer considered part of the official canon or the church’s standard works. They were more considered historical. Is my knowledge of that accurate? Can anybody help me find where the church has released those statements?