Handyman electrician near me

I live in central Virginia and I know a couple guys that drift, but other than a few select people I don't know where to find the community.
Where can I find other drift guys near me? I tried facebook and such but couldn't find any. Is there a specific chat-room website or something similar? I just want to get involved in the local scene.
Thanks.

TLDR: I am an American visiting Colombia, I do not live here or plan on staying here. A woman I hooked up with over a month ago claims I got her pregnant. She changes her answer everyday on whether she wants to get an abortion or not and says if she gets the abortion I need to pay a large sum of money (feels like extortion). In the event that I was the one who got this woman pregnant, can she take legal action against in the United States even though she is a Colombia citizen and does not live in the United States?
Long story short: I am American and was visiting Colombia for a couple of months. I met this woman through a friend and hooked up with her a couple of times. We met up a couple of weeks ago and she told me she was pregnant and wasn't sure what to do about it (probably to see how I would react). We spoke for nearly two weeks about this situation and she would change her mind on a daily basis between wanting to have an abortion and keeping the child she claims is mine. I come to find out she has a history of bipolar disorder and has been to a psych facility on more than one occasion. Every conversation we have quickly devolves into her having a manic episode and insulting me, threatening me and trying the extort me for money. She is clearly not mentally well and thinks holding me hostage to this situation will better her life because she comes from a poor family with an alcoholic father.
It is clear I am not dealing with a ration person and who is looking for a solution to our current situation but someone who is trying to exploit this situation and manipulate me and our mutual friends. I do not know if she is even pregnant, or if she is, that I was the one who got her pregnant. In the event she isn't trying to extort me for money and I was the one who got her pregnant, does she have any legal recourse? She is a Colombian citizen, I am a U.S. citizen and will be returning to the U.S. very soon. Can she somehow use this situation to get child support or come to the U.S. claiming I am the father of her child?

I recently attended a Peter Gabriel concert with very limited knowledge of his discography. I know Sledgehammer, Don't Give Up and I'm sure a few others that make you go "oh yeah" whenever they're played on the radio, but that's about it. Considering how he's not released his new record yet and he'd play well over 10 new songs I wondered how this would go. I did give 4 singles a listen though, so the new material wouldn't be completely new for me. I was fully aware how he wouldn't sing any Genesis and nor do I think he needs to. He's left that band behind so many decades ago that it'd be odd for him to suddenly bring out some of the songs. That's not to say that some Genesis songs would've been a better pick but I reckon that's a whole other debate here...
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The show began with a unique and funny intro, which I appreciated as a first-time experience. However, technical issues arose once the band started playing, particularly with the bass sound. Popping noises persisted throughout the performance, detracting from the overall experience on the first 2 songs. Furthermore, Gabriel's vocals were often difficult to understand, bordering on mumbling. Although his singing ability I'm sure is still exceptional, the live mix failed to balance the vocal lines of his new songs, overshadowed by the music. This issue persisted throughout the show, creating a muddy sound whenever Gabriel wasn't singing and a bit of a mess when he was.
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The first half of the concert was captivating, featuring a well-thought-out vision that explored themes of life, birth, and emotional attachment. The combination of stunning visuals and beautiful melodies got me emotional, thinking of my own life and the different stages it's been through so far. I think that, if I'd have understood a word of what he was singing, I'd have genuinely loved the first hour of the show. But the stunning visuals weren't enough to get his message and ideas across. I'm sure there was a deeper message going on, but I don't think anyone could fully understand it.
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Another thing that took me out of it was a notable point where it appeared as though he would hold a long note but didn't, making the use of backing tracks more apparent. This raised questions about the extent to which the sound was supplemented by backing tracks, even including Gabriel's own vocal lines. I don't imply that he mimed the entire show, but it became evident that not everything was 100% live as he makes it look like. It's worth mentioning that at 73 years old, it is understandable that artists change their arrangements a little bit, and not everything can be replicated in an arena. However, miming typically belongs to a different category, primarily associated with modern-day pop idols.
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Despite the industry norm of catering to audiences seeking only the well-known songs, I was genuinely impressed by his artistic integrity while exploring new musical territories. His ability to engage and captivate his diverse fan base showcases both his artistry and their loyalty. As an attendee with limited knowledge of his fans, I was pleasantly surprised by their receptive and attentive nature as Dutch audiences are very well known for their constant need to chat through every little song they're unfamiliar with. The audience's willingness to embrace his new songs and support his artistic growth underscores their open-mindedness and appreciation for the evolution of his music. This experience serves as a reminder that assumptions based on an artist's popular hits can often overlook the depth and breadth of their audience's appreciation.
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The second half felt prolonged, with certain song choices, such as "Big Time," falling flat for me. I reckon it's a hit but it felt so out of place. Near the end, when Biko was played, it seemed catered towards Nostalgia as opposed to a genuine protest, making it somewhat inappropriate for the occasion and ending the show on a confusing and a little cringy note. On one hand he takes you on this moving journey but then ends it on a rather cliché. Yes, the message of Biko is still relevant, but it just didn't go over like I think he does. I also felt that, as the show went on, he seemed to be going through the motions more and more and near the end looked like he couldn't wait for it te be over. It became pretty obvious he's excited over the new songs and really, really doesn't care for the older songs.
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I had high expectations for the show, and although some may disagree, I don't mean to offend anyone. Fans who know all the words may not mind the unclear vocals as they know what's being sung anyway. Overall, the performance had its ups and downs. His musical talent was evident, especially in the well-planned first half. However, the show's length, song selection, and vocals being drowned out took away from its impact. It left me thinking that it could have been much better, which was disappointing because it had the potential to be one of the best shows I've seen.

Does anyone know how to get out of a Starbucks contract?
I just started my new job and I already want to quit. I REALLY want to quit. Because this shit isn’t normal. I mean, is it? Do you guys have experience with this type of shit, or is it a normal thing when moving to the city? I’m a small-town girl so I’m not used to this. We didn’t even have a Starbucks. Just a diner that had been broken into multiple times over the years.
Do you know the bad feeling you get when something bad is going to happen, but you ignore it for the sake of staying sane? .Yeah.
It was one of those situations.
But I needed cash. I needed a job. College in the city is expensive, especially in my mid-twenties. Uber Eats every night and various subscriptions, such as Netflix and Spotify—as well as basic living needs required cash. So, naturally, I looked for part-time jobs I could use to fill up my weekend and nights. When it came to job hunting, I was fairly lazy. So, the Starbucks job kinda came out of nowhere.
I wasn’t even looking for it. I was applying for a job in the local music store when it caught my eye. Someone to work late evenings and nights on weekdays and Saturdays. The job description didn’t say much, just basic pay details and a full paragraph dedicated to talking about “The Starbucks Family”. Skim reading it, I skipped to the APPLY NOW button and sent in my resume via email. Two hours.
It had taken two hours to get an email back offering a video interview the next day—and a guaranteed job if I didn’t screw it up. The video interview went well to my surprise. The woman who conducted it acted more like a friend, asking me what my favorite movies and TV shows were, and then going into detail about her own.
It didn’t even feel like an interview. More like a chat. Which was exactly what the email said it was going to be. The interviewer was my mom’s age, a total mom-like persona. She offered me iced tea before laughing and realizing we were on a video call. Her cat popped up halfway through her introducing several staff members by name. A large tabby whom she picked up and hugged to her chest. I wasn’t sure what to do except repeatedly say, “Aww.” and force an even bigger smile.
The woman who for some reason did not introduce herself finished the interview with a more formal and thorough talk-through of rules and regulations. Which went in one ear and out the other. I think I was too excited about the job as a whole. There’s something almost mythical about working at Starbucks. I’ve seen barista TikTok complaining about customer service and harping about in the back rooms. It looked fun. Plus, free drinks? I figured working at the famous coffee chain would at least have benefits and freebies.
The woman spoke to me for almost two hours about certain drinks, telling me I would be trained up, and then going on to explain the dos and don’ts in a working environment. It was kind of patronizing, but I figured she had to be to remain professional. I tuned out when she started talking about a certain “feud” they had with another store down the road. The woman didn’t go into detail, but her expression did darken significantly when she leaned closer to her screen and repeated the phrase, “Do you understand me?” I had to backtrack and try and go over what she had been saying, but I had found myself mesmerized by the gilded sword in the background. It hung from the back wall in all of its glory, and I was having a hard time trying to figure out why exactly a Starbucks manager had a sword hanging from her wall.
“Sim?” Inclining her head, the manager cleared her throat. “Did you hear me?”
I did. Sort of. Under no circumstances must I visit or go near 2nd Street Starbucks. If I did there would be dire consequences and I would face losing my job, or worse.
I wasn’t sure what “or worse” was, but from the way her expression twisted from funny-cat-lady to a potential employer, I didn’t want to ask.
Yikes.
“Uh, yeah,” I said. “I can’t go near the 2nd Street store.” I almost choked on a glass of water I had been slowly sipping throughout the interview. I had been sweating most of the day, dying in the intense June heat. It was a lot cooler in the evening in the city, but I was used to draining at least ten glasses a day. “Is that real?” I couldn’t help asking, pointing to the sword behind her.
I know you are supposed to maintain a certain professional persona and façade during professional work interviews with potential managers. However, I really wanted to know if that ancient thing was real, it was driving me crazy. Because questions were arising in my head: How did she get it? Was it hers? Was it for some kind of aesthetic and feng-shui, or was there more to it? From the look on the interviewer’s face, she seemed startled.
Whipping her head around, her strict grey ponytail hitting the screen, she nodded before turning back to me, her gaze flicking down to what I presumed was a script she was reading off—or maybe she was skimming through my printed-out resume. I wanted to ask her more about the elephant in the room, but she seemed satisfied with answering my question with a nod. She asked me more questions, mostly about my work ethic and if I enjoyed working in a team and independently, if I had any special requirements, and oddly—if I had ever held a firearm. Now, that caused alarm bells. Along with the gilded sword dangling from this forty-something-year-old’s lounge wall, I was definitely starting to question the exact nature of what I would be doing at this job. Serving coffee was an obvious one, though I was pretty sure Starbucks barista's didn’t require military-style training.
When I didn’t know what to say, she seemed to back-pedal. “Oh, it’s in case of a robbery.” She said. But her expression stayed stoic. Speaking in the tone of being joking, but not being joking. “It is rare. However, it is a precaution we must take.” Choosing her words carefully, the interviewer steepled her hands in front of her face, leaning her chin on her fingers. “Our employees are given basic fire-arm training in the instance that one day we may face a difficult situation. Now, I am not saying it is inevitable, but due to certain behavior throughout the years, it is, of course, better to be safe than sorry.”
“Oh.” I tried to smile. “No, I haven’t,” I paused, hoping my lack of ability to hold a gun wouldn’t screw up my chances. “But I can learn?”
I said it like a question because it was a question. I was questioning myself why exactly I would take up my time learning to shoot a gun I most likely never would need. To my surprise though, the woman’s smile brightened and she looked down at whatever she was writing.
“Of course,” she said. “Sim, I am very happy to hear that. We love employees who do their best to learn and thrive in our working environment,” she paused and typed something on her laptop before her gaze found mine. “I’ll put you down for lessons on Friday mornings. How does that sound?” Before I could answer her—because I was starting to seriously question why she was so obsessed with training me to use a goddamn gun—she was nodding to herself. “I will put Jude in charge of you. I think he is working on Friday, so your induction and welcome can be completed in the morning…”
She trailed off into her own murmured conversation to herself before clearing her throat. I jumped. I didn’t mean to jump, but her whole presence was putting me on edge. The lady had been nicer on the phone, and earlier on in the interview when she was grilling me on which Frozen character was my favorite.
“Okay!” The interviewer gathered up her paperwork, beaming at me through the camera. “Can you start tomorrow? Let’s say…” her eyebrows furrowed together. “5:30? I will not be there for the first hour due to certain obligations,” she traced her lip with the tip of her index. “However, I have four employees working the front desk, I’m sure they will give you a warm welcome.” I noticed something twitch on her lips. It was almost like she was trying to stop herself from laughing—which was childish from a standpoint where I was the younger one, while she was the senior. She was supposed to be setting some kind of standard, and yet for some reason was more inclined in teasing me about workplace friendships, and apparently how “close” my colleagues were. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what friendship was like in the workplace. It’s not “real” because you’re all there to do a job, not making lifelong friendships.
“I’m looking forward to meeting them,” I said when she snorted out a laugh that twisted up my gut.
"Absolutely," she responded. "The team is very close, so don't take it personally if they're initially cautious. I'm confident that you'll all become great friends! Kai is a kind-hearted sweetheart, while Ana may seem standoffish initially, but she'll warm up to you once you get to know her. Jude, on the other hand, will be your guide during the orientation, so it's best to stay close to him. In fact, it's recommended to shadow him during your first few hours since he's our top performer! Frankly, Sim, I can hardly wait for you to meet them! They're a great group!" This woman seemed to suddenly discover the use of expletives, or maybe she had noticed I visibly wanted to crawl into the ground. The way she was describing the other employees, I was expecting cartoon characters when I walked through the door.
“Right,” I said. I was starting to regret applying. “I’ll be there.”
She ended the call with a bright smile, and her stupid cat walking on the keyboard, causing her to squeak out in horror. I shut my laptop, my cheeks burning. Well, that went…? Well? Could I really say it went well when the manager had spent the last five minutes implying my work colleagues were going to hate me? Fuck.
I didn’t want to go. I trashed my application and deleted her number from my phone. But the morning after, however, I came to the quick realization through precious morning caffeine, that I needed cash. So, no matter how much I didn’t want to go—I had to. So, I headed to classes and tried not to think about it. It was 5:34 when I stepped into the familiar glow of the famous store—not before being stopped in the middle of a crowed by a girl wearing bright pink ray-bans and a scowl. “Do you work there?” she turned and pointed to the store.
I shrugged. “I guess.”
She scoffed, slipping off her ray-bans and fixing me with a bitchy smile. “Your funeral.”
Normally, in situations when strangers say odd things to me on the street, I just laugh it off. But this? This seemed personal.
“What?”
The girl didn’t say anything before turning and walking or rather running away.
Well, that was weird.
After that encounter, I was weighing the positives and negatives of taking up the job. The positives would be cash and something to occupy my mind away from classes, and the negatives were being stuck with insufferable colleagues and a manager who was the embodiment of unprofessional. The store was pretty empty when I stepped through automatic doors, reveling in the cooling fan blasting icy cold air in my face. A dark-haired college girl had her back to me, cleaning tables. But I noticed her stiffening up when I took a step forward. She straightened up like a cat going into territorial mode, before relaxing and holding a two-fingered hand up.
The store was empty so I had no idea who she was signaling to. It wasn’t a greeting to me—I had no idea what it was. I was halfway to the counter before a guy popped up out of nowhere, mid-way through drying a cup with a washrag. His hair was the first thing I noticed. Bright red.
In contrast to his pasty skin, this guy would definitely stand out in a crowd. He was my age or maybe a little older, mid twenties, with a wide smile and not much of anything else, kitted in a short-sleeved shirt, and a Starbucks apron over the top.
I expected quirky cartoon-like weirdos and I got an average Joe. I wasn’t complaining.
Initially, I thought this guy was just another jock-like college guy. But looking closer, the friendliness in his eyes wasn’t sincere, and his smile was strained. Keeping up a professional attitude, he regarded me with a smile, leaning across the counter. But his eyes kept flicking to the door in quick succession like he was waiting for a certain someone to come in. “You.” He pointed at me, trailing his finger to the door, swiping hair from his face with his hand. The guy was bouncing on the heels of his toes, I noticed. He couldn’t stand still, like a hyperactive child. “You’re Sim, The newbie I’m supposed to be training.”
I nodded, offering a nervous wave.
“Jude.” He introduced himself, though clearly distracted, his gaze flicking to and from the door. His facade was friendly enough, but very fake. It was the same smile I presumed he flashed at customers who complimented his looks. “Hey, Sim.”
Instead of holding out his hand for me to shake, he folded his arms across his chest. Jude cocked his head, drinking me in before his lips broke out into a beam.
"Shall we get started?"
Jude started the tour, showing me the store itself, then the back, the storage room, the staff room, and bizarrely, a wooden door which he referred to as, “The Drink”. I had no idea what that meant, but I made a mental note to steer away from it.
The backrooms of the store turned into a labyrinth. The place was covered in mold, peeling paint on the doors and old rugged floor tiles. Jude spoke way too fast like he was intentionally trying to confuse me. By the time I was struggling with my apron, he was turning on his heels with a brow raised. “Your hair is too long so you need to tie it up. You can shadow me this evening but don’t get in my way. We have two twenty-minute breaks and during them, we are contractually obligated to go down to the Second Street store and throw eggs at their windows—ooh, and the girl you just met who didn’t say a word? That’s Ana. You will get used to her.” His smile reached a level of fake I didn’t think was possible. “Why don’t you follow me?”
“What?” I managed to hiss out when Jude was leading me down a long, winding corridor that dipped into various rooms, out-of-order elevators, and the creepiest set of stairs I had ever seen leading into the pitch dark. I was still trying to register his words.
Jude twisted around with a frown. “What’s up?” He nodded at a passing blonde girl who shot me a smile, and hive-fived Jude before disappearing through a door.
“You throw eggs at the store down the road?”
The guy’s lip twitched into the start of a smile. He turned around, quickening his pace. “Did I say that? Obviously, I was joking.”
I stumbled after him, knocking into a dark-haired younger guy carrying a tray of cupcakes. He and Jude seemed to exchange words without speaking before Jude gestured to the stranger. Somehow, I figured out their telepathic conversation through eye movements and strained smiles, they weren’t talking about me. “That’s Kai,” Jude said, pushing through the doors back to the main storefront. He took a customer’s order, retaining that stupid smile. “If you need any help with making those annoying TikTok drinks that take a millennia to make and have probably broken several Geneva convention rules?” He playfully knocked into me while preparing a drink, his hands knowing where everything was, preparing and serving a latte in a matter of minutes, “Kai is your guy! He runs our social media page and is practically a connoisseur on the next big trend. He'll deal with zoomers."
I was slowly starting to ease my way into this job, and my colleagues seemed pretty cool. Jude actually helped me all the way through the evening, introducing his home life and how he grew up as he cleaned tables and conversed with the others—always throwing me into their chatting so I didn’t get left out. I ended up sorting through cookies and making price labels with Aurora, the perky blonde who high-fived Jude earlier. She spoke to me like we had been best friends for years, and that part of her charm made me instantly adore her. She was tiny for her age, but a menace when it came to her sharp tongue and language. I didn’t think a tiny thing like her could swear like a goddamn sailor, but it was cute. Jude and Aurora had a sibling-type thing going on, though every time I caught Kai’s eye, he was smirking. It seemed everyone knew they had a thing except them.
I was actually having fun with the others, bobbing my head to the radio while serving a group of kids, when Jude, who was next to me, seemed to go rigid all of a sudden. His laughing smile carved into something else. I had never seen an expression change so fast.
But he wasn’t the only one. Aurora, cleaning tables and giggling at Jude’s joke, straightened up, her eyes flashing to the door. Kai’s head snapped up from where he had been grinding coffee. Following their gaze, I found myself face-to-face with the manager who interviewed me. But unlike the night before, she was not smiling. The woman dropped her bag at the door before marching towards the counter. Jude leaned over; his expression apprehensive.
“Well?”
His eyes as well as his tone had darkened significantly. All of my colleagues had taken off these masks, these facades of joking smiles and bright eyes, and now I was seeing a glimmer of what they were hiding. What Jude had been looking for all evening, sneaking glances at the door. I watched his gaze follow the manager as she paced back and forth, chewing her nails. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know.” She finally said, lifting her head. Her lips were twisted. “But.” She said, spitting each word, as she rounded the counter, helping herself to coffee. “You’re going to pay a visit to them right now, and…and sort this out once and for all.” Her voice resembled that of a mother talking to her children. She was assertive to them, her eyes piercing. Do you understand me?” The woman nodded at Jude. “You can go.” Her eyes found mine. “Take the new girl, she needs to be inducted.” Finally, she turned to Ana, who was standing in the corner silently. “You are too. I need brains, and Jude is just brawn. Keep him on his toes, young lady."
With a hint of sarcasm in his tone, Jude uttered a brief "Thanks," and then proceeded to take a coffee cup and a Sharpie. Swiftly, he scrawled some words on the side of the cup, before placing it inside a bag and plonking it in front of me. As Jude reached for his coat at the back, he put it on over his green Starbucks apron, creating a striking contrast with his denim blue sherpa. With his mop of red curls, this guy was in no way going to be as incognito as he thought. "We'll manage the conversation,” he said hurriedly, visibly excited. Jude seemed to lead the others in their expressions, his confidence and wit causing them to brighten up, adapting wide smiles. He shoved his hands in his pockets, “All you gotta do is hand them this, okay?”
“Is that a good…” Kai drifted off on whatever he was about to say, ducking his head when Jude shot him a glare.
“I think it’s a perfect idea!” The manager beamed at me. “What a way to fully bring you into our family!”
I took the coffee cup (the empty coffee cup) hesitantly. “What is it?”
“It’s a gift!” Jude said, moving towards the door in long strides. It was all too noticeable that this guy was practically vibrating with an energy I had never known. It was almost manic. “I want to let them know we appreciate them! Y’know! Rival to rival.”
Kai stepped in front of him on the way out.
“Be careful,” he said in a low hum. Aurora joined him, but she wasn’t speaking, her left-hand tugging at the waistband of her jeans. “Keep your head down when you go in because they’ll be expecting you—and they’ll be expecting a retaliation.”
“Relaaaaax, it’s Cora! We used to date!” he cocked his head. "I think."
“I mean it. "
Jude’s gaze found mine for a moment before his smile grew. “Well, we have enough eggs don’t we?” He grabbed my arm, pulling me along. Ana was already gone. I could see her figure already slinking down the street, bleeding into the shadow.
When the two of us hit the cool night air and Jude quickened his pace into a power-walk, his eyes set forwards, jaw set, I figured I should ask what his deal was. If this guy was serious about vandalizing a rival Starbucks, and not just that, urged by his manager, then I had to say something.
The thought of ending up in jail being petty over a rival store made me feel nauseous.
“So, what is this about?” I asked, catapulting myself into a half-run to keep up with him. The guy had abnormally long legs, so he was halfway across the sidewalk while I was barely two steps in front. “Aren’t you taking this a little too seriously?”
Jude didn’t reply, instead remarking on the sky being filled with stars.
“Hey, Ana!” He shouted. “Wait up!”
Second Street Starbucks was like walking into a palace. I could tell why these guys were rivals. The place was a three-floored beast, a glass building made up of a Starbucks downstairs, a library, and a private apartment. I found myself mesmerized by the twinkling lights on the door, the mini water fountain through large windows showing an even bigger storefront with rich-looking wooden tables and reclining chairs. The store was closing. When we stepped in front of the door, there was a sign which clearly said CLOSED on the front.
Still, though, Ana pushed her way through it, followed by Jude, pulling me along with him. Two employees were working, a guy with short blondish hair mopping the floors, and a girl standing at the counter, going through the register. The moment we stepped inside, the guy cleaning up stopped mopping from side to side, his fingers visibly tightening around the mop handle. “Hey there!”
With one of his best fake smiles, Jude raised his arms in surrender. “We’re from the Starbucks down the road. We come in peace, don’t worry!” He gestured to me.
“Can we talk to your manager?”
He took a step, his lip twitching, eyes glinting, which caused a stir in the air. The girl at the counter stopped flicking through a wad of cash in her hand and delicately put it down, and the guy turned to face us with wary eyes.
As Jude took another stride forward, his movements resembled a dance, and I noticed he was having fun teasing them. His eyes sparkled with a childlike glee that was unexpected for a person in his twenties. "Would you like to try our latest coffee recipe? It's like sipping on liquid sunshine." He nonchalantly brushed his jeans, and I half-expected him to pull out an egg. “But…” Jude took another step, and Ana situated herself behind the blonde boy, her expression blank. “You’ve already tasted it, haven’t you?”
The girl behind the counter finally stopped counting cash, delicately placing a wad back inside the register before leaning forward, an amused smirk curving on her lips. “Jude.” Her voice was a low murmur. “I didn’t think I would see you here so soon.”
“Cora.” Jude’s lips quirked. “Trust me, I don’t want to be. But hey, it's the boss's orders.”
She inclined her head, her eyes drinking all of him in. The girl rested her fist on her chin. She was surveying him like a piece of meat. “And you obey her?”
His grin widened, and I saw his hand once again brush the front of his apron. “Like a dog.”
“You know her?” I hissed out, grasping hold of the coffee cup in my hand.
“Cora?” Jude turned to me. “Oh yeah, we used to be the Romeo and Juliet of coffee shop rivalry — back when we were both newbies, and our store kidnapped me as a last resort. To keep the peace, I stayed.” He shrugged. “That’s what I’m told, anyway.”
Starbucks lore was getting dark.
These guys had to be joking around.
I took a step back, eager to head towards the door and be as far away as possible from what I was pretty sure was going to be a lot of eggs, and several arrests. “You worked here?” I couldn’t believe my mouth was still moving and forming words as I took slow steps back. Before Jude caught my arm.
“Apparently.” He said, dragging me back by his side. “Why don’t you give ‘em’ their gift?”
Fuck.
Unwrapping the bag and pulling out the cup, I nodded and took slow strides toward the counter, placing it down in front of her.
Cora frowned, before picking it up, her gaze going to the side.
“Go fuck yourself 2nd street bloodsuckers.” She read out loud, her brow raising into her hairline.
Shit.
“I should probably go.” I managed to say, backing away. “I don’t think is the job for me—”
The latter half of my words exploded in my head when something slammed into my ears, a physical force sending me to my knees. Initially, I didn’t know what it was. It sounded like a nuclear bomb had gone off. When the ringing in my head subsided, I was aware I had my head buried in my knees, my hands clamped over my ears.
But when I tried to listen past the relentless shrill ringing in my skull, I heard them one after the other. Pop, pop, pop! Gunshots. The crack of each bullet ricocheted in my skull. It was a robbery, I thought dizzily. We were being robbed. No, Second Street was being robbed. When I lifted my head to try and find Jude and Ana to see if they were okay-- I expected them to be cowering like me, Jude, under the table, muffling yelling into his hand, and Ana, calmly pulling him to safety. But that wasn't what I saw. Instead, I must have been fucking imagining things. Jude had not moved from his spot-- and perfectly melded into his hand, was a gun. A gun he was holding like a pro, his hands wrapped around the butt, index teasing the trigger.
His trajectory was directly between Cora's eyes. Jude had not been the one who shot the gun. In fact, neither had Ana, who was still standing stiffly behind the blonde guy.
It was a girl behind the counter who had come out of nowhere wielding the type of gun I expected to see in movies. I noticed from his stance Jude had maybe stepped to the left and then the right to avoid being hit, but the way his demeanour was fully and completely relaxed sent shivers creeping down my spine. "The deal is off, Cora," he murmured. "You fuck with us, so we fuck with you." he lowered his gun slightly, his eyes darkening. "Where's Ren? He came here to sniff you out, so where is he?"
Cora seemed remarkably calm. She started to raise her hands, her lips forming the words, "I don't know what you're talking about" before she stopped, her body going limp. It took me a disorienting moment to realize Jude had taken the shot, followed by another, both landing right between her eyes. When Cora hit the ground, the whole world around me exploded.
I was dragged to the ground by Jude, as he dived across the floor, pressing himself into the back of a table, twisting around, and taking out the barista who almost shot me in the face. There were five of them, all of them good shooters. Too good. Ana easily took out a blonde and brunette with her own magnum, followed by a bald guy who crashed through the counter which collapsed under him.
Jude fell into a manic shoot-out with a guy who would not give up, and after several attempts, re-loading, and attempting to finish him from the ground, my colleague got tired and stood up, dropped his gun, and leaped across the counter. I didn't know what to watch. Ana, who was destroying their coffee machine, or Jude, who snapped the boy's neck with a single twist of his fingers, before ripping out his eyes. He hauled the dead guy over his knees, grazing his teeth across the pasty flesh of the boy's neck, his eyes flickering. I wouldn’t say they turned a different color, but there was something inhuman about them, a certain tint around his iris. "Urgh."
He shoved the corpse away, jumping up. "He reeks of it." Treading through broken glass and pooling red on the floor, my colleague grabbed a cup, downed it, and then spat it out. “That.” He sputtered. “Is the worst fucking thing I’ve ever tasted.”
Ana stepped in front of him, handing the boy his gun. “When one of any clan is murdered for with no reason, there is an imbalance, and the coffee is tainted. We must restore the balance before this gets out of hand,” she surprised me by speaking, with a tinge of an Aussie accent. The girl side-eyed me before shooting Jude a knowing look. “Don’t let her get in our way.”
“Aye, aye, captain.” He mocked a salute before nodding to me. “All right! Sim, you grab a sample. We’ll go find the altar.”
Something ice-cold slipped down my spine.
“What?”
“Cool it. It’s more fun than it sounds,” was all Jude responded with. “Grab the samples.”
I was running on adrenaline, doing exactly what he said. I grabbed two coffee cups. “What do we do now? We go home, right?”
He swiped at his lips with a sound of disgust. “Are you kidding? No, man. We get coffee which ain’t tainted.”
Ana took out two guards in the back before leading us both through a heavy metal door that led into tunnels, tunnels, illuminated by candlelight. “You just killed multiple people,” I finally managed to choke out, following the two of them deeper into the dark. “Over coffee.” I couldn’t resist a nervous laugh that spluttered into a cry. “You just murdered seven baristas over fucking coffee!” I found myself backing away at points, scanning for a way out, an exit away from this fucking nightmare.
Jude turned to me, the glitter in his eyes reflected in the candlelight. “Oh, please,” His voice echoed down the tunnel in a chuckle. “Do you really think this is just about coffee?”
I didn't understand what he meant until we came to the end of the tunnel, which dipped into an alcove leading us into a large cave-like room. Drawing his gun, Jude scanned the dark. "Anyone in here?" He said, and Ana hit him. Silence answered, and I found myself paralyzed to the spot. I didn't know what to stare at first. The ten-foot-tall Starbucks Siren looming over us, illuminated in flickering orange candlelight, or the old swimming pool filled to the brim. When I took a step forward, my foot sunk into something soft, and I made the mistake of looking down. Bodies.
I guessed that was "The Drink".
I felt myself fall back, but Ana's warm arms were guiding me away from decomposing flesh which decapitated heads poisoned in a way that I could almost call ritualistic. There were bodies everywhere, all of them curled up or had died in a position of prayer. Jude crouched in front of a guy still in his Starbucks apron. His eyes had been cleanly plucked from his skull. Jude's expression was beautifully sombre in the candlelight. "Fuck, dude," he whispered.
"Looks like they got you."
“Which explains how they got their hands on our recipe.” Ana pulled out her gun and clicked off the safety. The girl’s eyes were suddenly sad, her lip wobbling. I had a hard time believing a girl who had taken out three baristas at point-blank range was crying.
"Through him."
“What is this place?” I whispered. "What the fuck are you doing in here?”
Jude straightened up. Ana moved behind him, and I noticed her hands holding her gun were trembling. She raised her arm, pointing it at the back of his head. Jude didn't retaliate, only sending me a sickly smile. "It used to be ours," he said. "Until other stores started opening, and it became a fucking free-for-all." Jude sighed, rocking back and forth on his heel. Ana's trigger finger followed his movements. "We have a peace treaty..." Jude trailed off. "Sorry. HAD a peace treaty." He nodded to his colleague. "Second Street has always been obsessed with this particular blend we have that other stores don't." His lips curved. "They're greedy, and thought they could fuck with us. First, they took our last manager. He was like a dad to us. Sliced him up and sent us his head." He gestured to his friend. "And then they took Ren. They brought this shit upon themselves."
As he spoke, Jude dropped to his knees and closed his eyes, bowing his head in front of the Siren. Ana didn't move. "Are you ready?"
“Always.”
I screamed, slamming my hand over my mouth when this time when Ana shot Jude point blank in the back of the head. When his body crumpled to the ground, something inside me snapped in two, and I couldn’t breathe suddenly. I thought the two were playing some kind of sick game before I caught unmistakable seeping black pooling across the alter.
In the blur of orange candlelight, it was almost a mesmerizing sight. “Shush!” Ana sent me an annoyed look, before gathering his body in her arm. “Make yourself useful and grab a bucket,” she said, stumbling towards the pool. I watched her, my heart diving into my throat. When I didn’t move, Ana hissed out and twisted around.
“Did you not hear me?!” she yelled. “Get a bucket and start collecting it!” The girl gestured towards a large, rusted pipe looming over the pool, a stream of murky brown water leaking into the pool. When I started forwards, the girl shook her head. “Not yet.” She said, before heaving Jude’s body and throwing him into the darkness. I heard the splash, but I didn’t even see his body hit the surface. Part of me wanted to demand what the fuck she was doing, but I did what I was told, with trembling hands, grabbing a bucket and shuffling over to the pool edge. Ana hissed out again. “I said not yet!” Before I could speak, she held a finger to her lips. “Do it now!”
“The pool water?!” I shrieked.
She raised a brow. “You think that’s water?”
Before I could coerce some kind of speech, I was interrupted by what felt like a sudden earthquake. The ground rumbled under our feet, and I hesitated before dropping the bucket into the water and scooping up as much as I could. I quickly realized it wasn’t water. It was thick with the constancy of blood, coffee brown and yet sticky and warm like blood.
Above us, the pipe seemed to come to life, a brand new stream of murky brown solution coming down in a waterfall. I didn’t think about the pieces of flesh floating on the surface, the decomposing heads I caught bobbing around, or the fact that I was dipping my hands in blood. Coffee and blood. My stomach was trying to projectile my lunch, but I swallowed it down. I took advantage, managing three buckets before Ana was grasping my shoulders and pulled me back. I didn’t realize I was sobbing until she was handing me a handkerchief, and I was staring at her and it, like, “What do you expect me to do with this?!”
Still in shock, I tried to get another bucket full before she dragged me from the pool edge. “You can stop now,” she said. “We have enough.”
"Enough what?!"
I staggered back when the surface of the pool rippled. I don’t know what I expected to come out.
Dead bodies?
Decapitated heads?
Not Jude, covered in the brown murky shit I had filled the buckets with. When he broke the surface, I almost threw one of the buckets at his head. Despite being covered in coffee and blood, his skin was oddly free of flaws. The guy was also really naked, which should have been a minor problem compared to what I was seeing, which was a real resurrection in front of a ten-foot statue of the Starbucks siren. Which was completely normal.
But I still found my cheeks heating up. Jude ran a hand through soaked curls sticking over his eyes, shaking them like a dog before pulling himself out. I couldn’t help noticing there was no gunshot wound. It was almost as if his body was completely new. I took in abnormally grey-looking skin, like dead flesh, before averting my gaze. “Did we do it?” He gasped out, immediately covering himself. Once out of the pool, he knelt on the ground, sucking in breaths of air before seemingly realizing the state of himself.
“Fuck. I didn’t think this through.”
“I did.” Ana reached into the backpack she had brought, pulling out a shirt and jeans, reverting her eyes, and throwing him the bundle. “Get dressed.” She said, But there was a slight smirk on her lips. “Yes. I think we managed to appease them.”
“Sweet!” Jude grinned, dressing quickly. He sucked the tips of his fingers. “Mmm.” He nodded at Ana. “That tastes a lot better.”
He gestured to her, and to my disgust, the girl delicately licked his fingers and nodded with her own smile. “It tastes like cherry blossom.”
His eyes fell on me, and I saw that inhuman gleam in his eye—that had been very much there before he was resurrected in a pool of coffee. His lip quirked. I could still see coffee-- or blood dripping in thick rivulets down his temples and cheek. “Should we?”
Jude turned to Ana. “I mean while we’re here, right? We can induct the newbie.”
Immediately, I knew what he was talking about. I stepped back, but he was following me, getting closer and closer until his breath was in my face, and I was teetering on the edge. I sensed something in his eyes, something I never expected from a man who knew exactly what he was doing. Envy. Another step, and I would be falling into what I was sure was a pool full of decomposing bodies and resurrecting coffee. “Not now,” Ana murmured, and Jude snapped out of it, taking a step back.
“Buzzkill.” He muttered.
But he did step away, allowing me to inch away from the pool.
“Later,” Ana said. “She’s shaken up. We can do it first thing tomorrow.”
To my surprise, there were no cops at the scene at Second Street. Because there was no scene.
The store was back to normal, and I didn’t have the energy to question why. When we returned, Aurora wrapped me into a hug I tried to get out of as quickly as possible, eager to get the fuck away from that place. But. I had to finish my shift. I had watched a man resurrected by coffee in a fucking Starbucks shrine, and yet somehow I had to keep making drinks until my shift ended. It was nearing closing time when the doors opened, and I found myself face-to-face with the girl from earlier. The one wearing the pink ray-bans.
She didn’t say anything, but the blade of her knife grazing my gut told me everything I needed to know. With a knowing look when she slipped off her raybans, she pressed something into my hand before leaving, and I handed it to the manager, who opened it up, almost died laughing, and then threw it in the trash.
“You work for psychopaths.” I managed to get out, sidling in front of Jude while he was clocking out.
“Also, didn’t you… didn’t you fucking die?”
Jude didn’t look up from his phone. “It’s complicated.” His lip quirked. “You’ll find out tomorrow during your induction.”
“But… you work for these people!” I lowered my voice. “And you’re not trying to get away?” I gestured to Kai and Aurora standing by the door, the two of them locked in conversation. “None of you?”
Jude frowned, and I caught the first hint of annoyance. I had only seen this guy smiling, so seeing him scowling was quite the change. “I’m sorry, do you… do you think I have a choice?”
He surprised me with a laugh. “Me? A choice? You really think I wake up every morning and WANT to do this shit?” He got close, his breath in my ear. “You came here willingly. I didn’t. In fact? I don’t even remember coming here. My interview, my first day? Nothing. I don’t even remember my time at Second Street.” He threw a towel at me before I could coerce words. “Finish clearing up, all right? I’ll see you tomorrow for induction.”
There was something cruel in his smile like he was waiting for whatever my induction had in store for me.
I couldn’t help myself. When everyone was gone, and I was tasked with locking up, I picked the discarded note out of the trash, smoothing it down.
“You pieces of shit just declared war. Sleep with one eye open! 😊”
Cora xx.”
….
I cut my finger with a knife this morning. When I sucked it and grabbed a band-aid, I tasted coffee. I went home and threw up coffee.
I am peeing coffee.
I showered 8 times and I still fucking smell of coffee.
I don’t think I’m going to go to work tomorrow.
Edit: There’s been a break-in— and the manager wants me to come in early. Jude and Ana woke me up in the middle of the night to go over tactics. We are taking down Second Street during closing time.
I guess I am going to work tomorrow.
Does anyone know how to use a gun?

The first "real" bike I had was the Triban RC10 then I moved onto a Giant Contend 3 once I had felt like I was due for an upgrade. Just this morning my bike had been stolen from my garage in the middle of the night I'm assuming. I 'am 19 years old, 5'9 and have racked near a thousand which is impressive to me, but I'm sure others scoff at that amount. I may cycle a lot for my standards, however I 'am not very knowledgeable about bikes, so my friend and I have chosen some off marketplace place that we think are good. Again I'm not knowledgeable in bikes aside from the big brands such as Giant, Trek, Specialized, Shimano, and that's about it.

1. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/2848002295337388/?ref=search&referral_code=null&referral_story_type=post&tracking=browse_serp%3Af54ebe43-36b9-41e8-af20-b409732a684a This bike may a tad large for me but I've seen only seen good reviews for this bike
2. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/2392835754228544/?ref=search&referral_code=null&referral_story_type=post&tracking=browse_serp%3Af54ebe43-36b9-41e8-af20-b409732a684a This bike has a carbon frame!
3. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/139099105824922/?ref=search&referral_code=null&referral_story_type=post&tracking=browse_serp%3Af54ebe43-36b9-41e8-af20-b409732a684a TREK
4. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/266442735744518/?ref=search&referral_code=null&referral_story_type=post&tracking=browse_serp%3Af54ebe43-36b9-41e8-af20-b409732a684a dont know much about this brand, but its kinda cheap and from some reviews, it does not seem bad

THANK YOU!

Anyone ever look at the 76 map and think, wow the chunk of land west of the river and across from the mothman museum seems like pretty realistic and nice Expansion to the game? With how small the team is, asking for a huge new map seems a little fetched but that chunk of land cut out by the west river bank? That would be perfect for a couple new settlements and a DLC questline. Just me? Could be a good 6 hour DLC right there. And they could some pretty interesting things with the mountains near the top too.

This is just a quick little 15-minute vent. I don't want this to cause problems, I just gotta get these issues off my chest and figure out if I'm in the minority or something because I can't believe this stuff still hasn't changed.
Food spoil time makes zero sense. Tea spoils in a few hours, salted foods spoil in a few hours, broiled food spoils in a few hours. I can't justify grinding out resources to stock up on food that helps me, because it'll just spoil before I fucking eat all of it anyways. I'm a bloodied V.A.T.S build, I can't afford to drop the 5 of 15 luck devoted to mutations, or the crit/vats abilities I use in order to be able to make my fucking food last long enough to hold value.
I cannot stress enough how irritated I am with the system that encourages I take a break from fighting and looting every few hours to go on a hunt for animals and resources that may-or-may-not have just recently been grabbed by somebody else, and I'm pissed that they want to charge me money for a fridge that doesn't do any better than GWS.
I'm just really irritated with the fact I have to make sacrifes to my setup in order for things to come together. Someone convinced me that Healing Factor didn't affect chem effects in combat because the healing factor doesn't work in combat, and that made sense to me. So now I have two options;
Keep class freak so that I can actually use chems Grind out every other serum to reset my mutes? Really?
I get that this is sort of a 'i put myself in this hole' situation, but it's bewildering to me that food can be such a critical part of maximizing builds and still be such a damn drag to upkeep.
Next, let's talk about how insane the stash limitation is. I don't want to pay bethesda $100 on a game I already paid $60 for (some of which I feel like I'm owed back since I couldn't play the damn game for the first year and a half anyways because of how broken it was), just so that I can store more than 5 spare weapons and a few hundred pounds of water, meds, chems, and non-perishables. Ammo & Junk takes up nearly 700 of my 1200 capacity.
I'd HAPPILY pay $30/$50 for a storage increase, or spend an extra 100+ hours grinding resources and doing fetch quests for C.A.M.P upgrades that enhance Quality-Of-Life for storing and managing items.
But bethesda is convinced that subscription-based service and purchasable advantages via the Atom shop is the way to keep this game alive.
Finally, let's talk about why this all comes together to be one big issue: LEGENDARY SCRIP.
I'm limited to 500 a day. That's cool, great. Except when I get on at 6AM, and then off at 9AM, i'm pretty much done doing my scrip. I then get back on that afternoon, grind for what I miss, sometimes get overflow and never have anywhere to put it because, again, 700 pounds of ammo and junk.
This means that I hit a point in the early afternoons where I have no reason to play the game. Can't do public events, because I have nowhere to put the stuff it gives me. Can't turn in any more scrip because the limitation stonewalls me, and I can't be bothered selling any of the legendaries because the current market rate (on xbox) of 100 caps per 1 star is absolutely absurd. 7.5caps per 1 unit of scrip for a 3 star weapon, 25 caps per 1 unit of scrip for a 1 star weapon. Makes no damn sense at all.
If bethesda would fucking make it so that only one of the items in your stack spoils at a time when I make food, I might actually cook in 76 again. I'd probably play the game twice as much as I do if I had the ability to stockpile valuable resources and grind out food items to hold onto, but I have to pay for one pf those and the other is literally impossible.
Dog food, purified water, canned coffee,
Is literally my entire diet out of the hundreds of food items in the game because I cannot afford to lose valuable damage or survivability just so that I can enjoy a perception or agility bonus.
Please, please, please. If there are any other foods you can craft in this game that DO NOT SPOIL, AREN'T LIQUOR, and increase;
Perception Ap regen Max AP Max HP Or Agility,
Please let me know what theu are, because the wiki has been insanely inconsistent and I just- URGH.
Hope I'm not alone here in suffering. I just feel like I'm an army of one here because everyone I complain about this to on Xbox says 'Just buy fallout 1st and pretend the food doesn't fucking exist lmao' as if that's a reasonable solution to this awful system of bulk spoil times.
TL;DR (Skip if you've already read the above):

1. My build is being screwed by a -Chem Effects mutation a friend gave me because he didn't understand the negative worked both in and out of combat.
   
2. I now have to use class freak to keep my chem build stable, but would happily remove it if i could get all of my other mutatuons back.
   
3. I'd have to sacrifice valuable perk points for food spoilage, which is unrealistically quick without Good With Salt, and that's annoying as hell.
   
4. Because I'm not a fallout 1st member, ~700 of my 1200 stash capacity is junk or ammo that I'd be able to store in the limitless containers.
   
5. I usually max out my 500 scrip after about 2 or 3 hours of playtime, which leaves me nothing to do afterwards because selling legs for caps is a headache and I don't have storage for extra legendaries (see 4)
   
6. My entire diet of the Appalachian bounty of food is Purified water, canned dog food, and canned coffee.
   
7. Looking for craftable food that enhances PER, Max AP, AP Refresh, AGI, or Max HP, that doesn't spoil and isn't liquor. Are there any at all?
   

Thanks a ton for any help or advice

Hey guys, I’ve been in dubai for over one year. Just settling now only. Need to find a team who plays football twice a week Cricket also if possible Badminton would also be a choice. Location anywhere near to JVT. Upto 15 minutes drive is fine with me. Also good GYM(do mention package info summary)recommendations nearby would also be appreciated. Thank you

I think it has to deal with the fact it’s nearly 2 years ago she broke up with me.
This relationship was far from perfect but I was dedicated and loyal all through it.
Communication was the big issue. She had her own mental health challenges and she needed a lot of time to recharge her batteries. We rarely spent time in person, and even though we lived a mile away from each other it might as well had been long distance. We dated for a year
Even though it was challenging, I respected her needs and remained dedicated and loyal to her and I was always their to help and encourage and support her.
Then one they she messaged me and she wanted to break up I was quote “five stars” she said I didn’t do anything wrong she just felt guilty I put in so much effort into the relationship and she barely did anything
A part of me can’t help but fear I was somehow overbearing or clingy.
I respected her wishes and I didn’t plead or beg or anything I haven’t spoken to her since.
I still have photos of us and her but I don’t look at them they are just in an album
I keep having thoughts of contacting her but I have to stop myself cause I know I’m not in a good place both physical space and head space and I’ll explain why.
I’ve been going to therapy which is good. I’m working my way up in my job.
I’m very lonely and socially starved throughout most of my life, I have one friend I talk to occasionally cause he’s always busy. Sometimes we hang out.
I want love and companionship so bad, but I get so attached so fast and easily limerence is a curse for me.
I don’t think I’m dangerous or anything I’m very loyal and dedicated but I can see how I could be over bearing or clingy. I also go through phases of pure desperation. It’s fucking torture like 70% of the time. I don’t want to put my issues on anyone friendship or romance.
My dream is life is I want a home and a partner or if I ever got married a wife to share it with.
Physically I live mostly with my mom I’m 20 I’m working my way up into management at a local store. I’m very lucky and grateful for the job opportunities but also my parents let me live with either of them.
At my moms though and I hate saying this. We are stuck with my grandma who is just rotting away.
The living room where she sleeps is just unlivable it smells like a public bathroom.
She doesn’t help us help her, I don’t expect her to do anything but their is a lot she could be doing that she doesn’t she half asses everything even eating. She doesn’t have dementia or anything but a lot of it is just learned helplessness she retired at 45 never took responsibility for anything barely held down a job. She’s also a pain pill abuser for over 40 years
On top of all of that My grandma, mom and uncle don’t have a good relationship I’ve been told stories where my grandmother and I hate saying this Is just an evil cunt. So their is so much anger and frustration you could fill a swimming pool.
It’s screaming matches all the time.
My uncle has given up his life to be the main care giver and it’s slowly killing him he has stage 3 kidney disease and he can barely take care of himself
My mom can’t stop working cause she is the one who pays for everything I contribute where I can but she’s the breadwinner.
My younger sister fled to my dads house cause she couldn’t handle it.
My mom is not mad at her but it makes her more angry at my grandma
It’s almost like when my mom and dad were together fighting all the time.
I’m on call to watch her or be home in case my uncle gets a gig or need to go somewhere important
I don’t mind helping, it’s important and they appreciate I help out but we all have to organize our lives for this ungrateful person. And she is ungrateful she told me and my uncle to our faces we don’t do anything for her when we do everything for her especially my uncle.
I’m not trapped in the house it’s I rarely go out. I go to the movies and the store but that’s it.
It’s not like I want her to drop dead or anything but do I have to give up my life until I’m 30 or something I get life isn’t fair but this is bullshit. I can’t find love or companionship cause my home is just a shithole at the moment
We can’t get her into a facility yet because of financial issues but slowly but surely we are getting their.
I used to be optimistic but it’s taken a toll on me.
If I had to leave I would but I fear for my moms mental health in general and if I left I think she would have some sort of breakdown.
It’s hell sometimes deep down I do love my grandma she is one of the most important people in my life but I really don’t like her right now with how she treats us.
I just feel stuck for the next decade and I’m wasting my life
The worst part is she wasn’t like this 3 years ago like she still did crazy shit but she was a functioning adult .
I don’t know what to do my headspace is just wrecked
My emotional eating is also been really bad

Hi everyone. I’ve been feeling sick for years now with no actual diagnosis. I’m working on a diagnosis with my doctor, and have been referred to endocrinology, as she thinks it may be PCOS. I was wondering if this indeed sounds like PCOS? From my own research some things definitely match, while some don’t. Sorry in advance for how long this will be! I’ll use point form and try to keep it as short as I can. * 2015: started to feel random bouts of depression. No reason why, just depressed * 2016: started to feel heightened anxiety (generalized) * 2016: started getting random migraines and bouts of dizziness (2-3 a year) * 2018: started getting some brain fog, grades started to drop at school * 2018: started university, extreme brain fog and starting to get minor memory issues * 2020: intense depression, brain fog and fatigue * 2021: frequent and intense dizziness and migraines (multiple times a month), increase fatigue. Major weight gain, 40 lbs in less than 6 months, concentrated on the stomach, neck/back and face. Did not change eating or exercise habits (maybe a bit more active if anything). Very dark and large stretch marks (never seen this before) on stomach. Sudden intense need to pee even though I don’t drink very much (need to increase water intake lol!) Started to skip my period every 3 months (had only very missed a period once in my life before this, when I was very sick with the stomach flu back when I was 14).
Not using a bullet for 2022 because it was my worst year with this. The weight doesn’t budge, no matter how much I exercise or diet. Always extremely tired, no energy no matter how much I slept. Brain fog. Migraines every other day, dizziness/lightheadedness constantly with shortness of breath. (Worst migraine was 21 days and meds didn’t help at all). My heart rate will randomly shoot up to 120-130 (normal is 65-80 for me). Decreased pain tolerance. Low exercise tolerance. Extremely low vitamin D level (came back at 14, normal range should be at least 75). Dark hair growth on face and body, lots of cystic acne on face. Increasing memory problems. Lots of hair loss and very brittle nails. Always very bloated/stomach hurts. Skipping my period every second month now (and when I do get it, it’s very painful and heavy, which is so hard because I’ve always been someone with a very light/painless period). I do want to note that there are random periods of time where I feel a bit better, it kind of cycles, though these periods of feeling better are quite rare. This is a list of exact symptoms I experience when I’m at my lowest:
Weight gain Cognitive issues/very forgetful (forgetting words while speaking, forgetting letters/numbers when reading) Speech issues Facial hair Hair loss Stretch marks darken Face more swollen Bloating Urinating more Constipation Migraines Shortness of breath Resting heart rate Dizziness/lightheadedness (all left side) Leg and feet pain Swollen feet (shoes feel tighter, Watch feels tighter) Acne Darker under eyes Duller skin Loss of appetite Fatigue Eye twitching Clumsy, dropping this more often and less strength in hands/arms Heat sensitivity More sleepy (feel tired earlier) Feel better near period but it only happens every 2-3 months Random bruising Less symptoms when the weather is nice usually Hot flashes Nausea
The doctors say I need to “eat healthy and lose weight” or “it’s just stress” or “you need to sleep better.“ I’m only 23, I shouldn’t have all these symptoms. Sorry if this is long and all I’ve the place. I’m just so tired. If it helps, I live in Canada. Thank you in advance for any help, it’s so appreciated.

TRIGGER WARNING: I mention blood/bleeding and also am unsure of how upsetting this all could be, so here's a warning to proceed with caution if needed.
​
I apologize in advance for the long post. I have posted my story on a few subreddits in search of help, answers, or support and was recently pointed in the direction of this one. I have listed all the most important information below. As the title says, I am having some sort of mystery chronic illness that is destroying my health and quality of life. Almost every doctor and every hospital I have visited do not know what is going on.
I am looking for someone or anyone who can help point me in the right direction. A few people have suggested it could be Addison’s Disease as my sodium is low and my potassium keeps climbing, but I would love the perspective of the medical professionals on this subreddit. Thank you in advance for any help you can offer!
My Demographic and Brief Family History:
Age: 21
Sex: Female
Race: White
Height: 5’2” (about 157cm)
Weight: 217lbs (or roughly 98kg)
Maternal/Paternal Medical Issues: Multiple types of cancer and high blood pressure have affected multiple family members on both sides. Diabetes is also common in my family.
Never smoked, I don’t drink, and I have no signs of any mental illness/disorders according to multiple therapists.
My Medical History:
As soon as I was 12 and started my period, it has been hell since. Constant irregular cycles, heavy bleeding, severe pain/cramps, and excessive weight gain I could never lose. I was diagnosed with Tendonitis in my hands at age 15, then Carpal Tunnel at age 18 that affected both wrists and elbows. My left arm is losing function on multiple levels now because of it. I have also been severely anemic since age 16 and have never recovered from it no matter treatment. I have also had severe GI issues throughout this all ranging from general stomach pain to ulcers, constipation, and more.
The only other significant history was that as a young child, about 7 or 8, I was told I could have scoliosis and that I might have some sort of medical issue with my knees that caused the joint to not sit where it was supposed to. I do not remember the name of this condition or if I was ever truly diagnosed with anything as I was continually told the pain in my knees could just be growing pains. And I was not diagnosed with scoliosis until literally this week at age 21. I have a completely straight spine with two slight curves, my right hip and right shoulder are higher than the left side, and the scoliosis in the worst in my neck with signs of mild degeneration.
The only medication I am on is hormonal birth control (the vaginal ring) that I started at the beginning of June 2023. I have tried several medications and other birth controls in the past that have never helped and can get more in detail with them if asked.
Timeline of Everything in the Last Year:
March 2022: I go from 180lbs to 230lbs (or about 81kg to 104kg) within a few weeks. My hair begins to noticeably thin and fall out. And my chronic pain from my menstrual cycles, joint pain, and GI issues becomes worse.
April 2022: I have to rush to a hospital for severe stomach pain and they find a tumor in my upper abdomen. I meet with a stomach surgeon who believes it’s a lipoma.
August 2022: The surgeon monitored it for a few months, but it continued to grow and become more painful. I have a surgery to remove it and it was a 20cm by 15cm lipoma. A second tumor was underneath it as well and I was told this one would have turned malignant if not removed when they did.
January 2023: My hair starts to fall out more and now all over my body. I no longer have armpit hair, leg hair, or barely any pubic hair. I am throwing up now, losing appetite, and starting to have more ovarian cysts. My period is even heavier, and I now am pouring blood when on it. I am also clotting bad and have now passed huge blood clots, even one nearly as big as the palm of my hand.
February 2023: Four ovarian cysts rupture within a few days. I am now starting to feel extremely tired as well and can’t sleep well.
March 2023: I have more ovarian cysts, two fibroids in my uterus were discovered, and now I have more symptoms. I have severe chest pain, high blood pressure, a constantly high heart rate, a new tumor was discovered on the other side of my upper abdomen, I am fainting daily now, unable to eat much, have moderate fatty liver, and much more. The bulk of the symptoms listed below started during this month with what felt like overnight.
April 2023: I am now fainting multiple times a day, losing weight without trying, have multiple rashes on my body, and a complete loss of appetite. I am bed ridden from my pain and symptoms.
May 2023: Everything just continues to get worse and towards the end of May I can no longer eat at all. I have severe jaundice and now motion sickness even when walking.
June 2023: I got the scoliosis diagnosis and everything else is continuing to worsen so far. I am now on an all liquid diet.
A Direct List of Every Symptom/Current Diagnoses:
• Chronic fatigue and trouble sleeping (my body feels like a truck hit it constantly)
• Tender, easily bruised skin and wounds take forever to heal/scar easily (my skin has also thinned/become extremely soft)
• My joints very easily dislocate, get sprained, and also pop even with the slightest movement
• My hair is thinning and falling out all over the body
• I have moderate fatty liver and jaundice despite a usually healthy diet and I don’t smoke/drink
• I have a tumor in my upper abdomen only a few months after having two removed from the other side (one was a giant lipoma 20cm x 15cm, one was turning malignant but was never told how, and no clue what this new one is but it’s already huge and painful)
• I have no appetite and throw up any food I eat
• I have head and hand tremors
• Severe TMJ
• I faint multiple times a day and feel dizzy when I stand, my blood pressure and heart rate raise super high after standing as well (and my heart rate tends to constantly be high even when resting, chest constantly in pain)
• I have severe ovarian cysts that rupture frequently and have two fibroids in my uterus
• My period cycle is extremely irregular and very heavy. I bleed through multiple pads an hour, can’t walk from pain, and have blood clots sometimes as big as my palm. The blood pours down my legs too, this is probably one of the most painful symptoms
• I also have scoliosis and it’s the worst in my neck, the bones in my neck are showing signs of degeneration as well (although it’s very mild right now)
• I have severe carpal tunnel in both wrists and elbows. Losing feeling and muscle in my left hand
• I’m also getting more frequent abscesses, yeast infections, and utis
• I do have bad kidney pain but no signs of an infection or kidney stones, I am urinating more than usual though
• I have a rash on my face, back, and legs that come and go
Extra Information/Context:
I have a primary care doctor and I’m seeing a cardiologist and chiropractor right now. I am trying to see a rheumatologist, gastroenterologist, and dermatologist. I have also seen a hand specialist, stomach surgeon, and gynecologist. Besides these doctors, I’ve worked with a nutritionist and therapist. The nutritionist doesn’t believe my diet is contributing to my symptoms outside of not being able to eat much now (as in what I was eating before was as healthy as it gets). I also have a ton of pictures, videos, labs, and more I am willing to share documenting this illness. I will also be answering any and all questions.
I only take birth control now for my period cycle issues but I recently started it, like literally last week. And the only other medication I take is Tylenol when needed.
I know what I’m going through is a lot but I’m so lost and struggling. I keep getting told by too many doctors that my labs are normal, even despite a lot seeming wrong with them and my severe symptoms. I personally think I have multiple medical issues going on contributing to the laundry list of symptoms/issues, but of course I’d love other perspectives. I will end this post by saying these are debilitating issues causing me to be unable to work, go to school anymore, or even enjoy life now. I don’t think it would’ve gotten this bad if I had an early diagnosis and proper treatment.

If someone could answer this for me I would appreciate it very much. So I worked for a Whataburger unit near my college (which is in a different city) and I am still employed technically (haven’t been fired or anything, on summer break at the moment)asked my op if I could work for another unit and he told me to talk to the op of the unit I want to work at in my hometown. I tried talking to the op today and couldn’t get a straight forward answer. Could someone clarify this for me and give a possible solution?

i made a throwaway account for this.
ive been noticing in myself, what i feel and perceive now, as narcissistic tendencies that ive exhibited for many years of if not most of my life.
im not asking anyone for any sort of diagnosis or anything, i just need to vent these feelings out somewhere because im on a waiting list for therapy and it sucks not being able to talk about anything
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most of my life, even currently, ive only ever cared about myself and what i feel i deserve. what would benefit me. i have little to no empathy or care for other people (even acting outright cruel and malicious to others i think are beneath myself) but i still expect other people to spoil and pamper me at nearly all times, and be there for me when i get upset.
there are periods where i am more self aware of these tendencies, and i spiral downward into hating myself intensely and wishing i could change so im not hurting others, but fearing the change. other times, im fully engrossed in believing im better than everyone else. that im special, like im the only person with a fully conscious mind in a world full of mindless, manipulable nobodies.
i'm married. but i treat my spouse like dirt. i tend to think they're dumb, spineless, and that they make constant excuses. it pisses me off when they do anything that i wouldn't myself. i knock them down constantly and shame them for their interests, hobbies, minor behaviors related to hygiene and appearance. anything. but at the same time, i'm always asking how they perceive me, why they love me, and what they find attractive about me. sometimes, i feel a push to be kinder and more compassionate to them. but the second it pops into my head to do so, i talk myself out of it. it makes me feel weak, and i think that niceness is beneath myself, and that it only leads to letting people in to hurt me.
i rarely ever cry, i mostly exhibit high levels of anger and aggression. my spouse cries constantly, with panic attacks and self harming behaviors. and it makes me more angry to see them act this way. my thoughts tell me it's like they're trying to squeeze any level of pity and care out of me when there's nothing there to give. it makes me shut down completely and act cruel to them. it feels outright wrong and makes me feel uneasy to even try to be kind to others.
when other people talk about having more success than me in areas i'd like to, it makes me jealous and angry. i feel like i deserve recognition for the things i do, even if it may not be true.
i've started talking to my mental health team that i do have, about how i felt that traits of narcissism may apply to me. because of the contained, controlled setting that these conversations take place in, as well as them not knowing me on a personal daily basis. they say i dont outwardly strike them as a narcissist.
does anyone else here experience these sorts of thoughts and feelings? am i just a really awful and bad person?

I like the idea that Jedi could be a title like "ronan" or "knight", and it basically just means student of the force. There is more room for interesting wrinkles in the universe if Jedi doesn't just refer to someone who belongs to the Galactic Jedi Order(TM).
(I connect this to Phantom Menace at the bottom)
There are plenty of characters in this universe who are force sensitive non-Jedi, but they're almost always lone-wolves, or they're untrained; they're not part of a community. Why?
In such a vast galaxy, full of mystery, and with so much history of the Jedi persevering and changing through war and changes in government... you'd think there would have been some off-shoots of the official tradition. Does every Jedi that leaves the order (like Dooku) become a Sith? Or do they die without training a Padawan because... the Jedi Order has a monopoly on force sensitive younglings?
Lets say for the sake of argument that the Jedi Order has a lot of money and resources, and legitimacy (because they're peacekeepers for the galactic government), and so they make up the vast majority of Jedi. It could even be 98% of Jedi. It just makes that 2% more interesting, especially if 2% is only an estimate based on the "unhidden" Jedi traditions. Who knows how many other small communities are out there? Maybe some are undiscovered because they want privacy or are hiding. Maybe there are communities that started organically: a self trained Jedi, who also taught his children. Or a species in a remote undiscovered world who uses the force in a unique way.
I think for the sake of the prequel era, 98% of Jedi being Jedi Order Jedi feels about right. But imagine a time-- lets say near the beginning of the High Republic era-- where there were 3 major orders coexisting (or attempting to coexist). Here's a story pitch: How do 2 well-meaning young Jedi from different traditions reconcile their different values, and still commune with the same cosmic force... all the while fighting the same foe?
What factors lead to certain communities dying off, and others growing. You could argue that the dogmatic and imperious Jedi we see in Phantom Menace are the product of survival of the fittest. They are willing to play political games (to an extent), and they're willing to fight. And they have a meticulous and efficient method of finding and training younglings. These same factors are exactly what made them susceptible to manipulation by Sidious. Now imagine a Jedi tradition of pacifists. Seems more Jedi-like in the spiritual sense doesn't it? Well maybe their philosophy became a weakness and they couldn't defend themselves.
Another story pitch: I love the idea of a Jedi who's last in a long line of once numerous pacifist Jedi; long since forgotten. He's basically a hermit, or a low-profile protector of a remote system. When order 66 hits, he may not be on any official Jedi list, and his simple lifestyle already has him somewhat hidden. Better yet, when the Empire does come looking, his character can develop as his pacifist philosophy is put at odds with survival. So maybe instead of Order 66 killing 99% of Jedi in the Order, it kills 99.5% BUT it only manages to kill 80% of Jedi from other traditions. If you think Luke should be the only Jedi by ANH, that's fine. It just means that the last Jedi who fall to the purge are a more diverse group; we would get a taste of what it means to be a Jedi (rather than what it means to be a Jedi Order Jedi, which we've already seen so much of).
I've recently seen complaints that this backstory is all too common: a character survived Order 66 and went into hiding, only to resurface when....
This doesn't bother me THAT much, but what if once in a while we got to see a Jedi who survived Order 66 from a completely different tradition... one that played no part in galactic politics? If Order 66 and the Jedi purge are like the holocaust, I think its more fitting for the Jedi to be hunted essentially because of their religion and their connection to the force... rather than being hunted because they trained at the Jedi Temple in Coruscant. The Emperor claims the Jedi are traitors, but that claim is a lot more fascist and creepy if he's talking about communities across the galaxy who have no connection to the war or politics. You could have loyal citizens of the Empire starting to think "You're asking me to attack this underground community on a remote system, who are so hidden that they haven't surfaced in 100 years... and its because they're traitors to the Republic??".
In terms of rewriting the prequals, most of this would be outside of the movies. However, in my rewrite of Phantom Menace, I've considered Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bringing Anakin to the funeral of Master Sifo-Dyas. This would either be before Corascant, or instead.
I picture it being a planet similar to Yavin 4 (there is plenty of nature AKA living force, and perhaps crumbled temples AKA a reminder that this is an ancient tradition). Then juxtapose that with cold and sterile Coruscant where there isn't a tree in sight.
Qui-Gon brings Anakin to a huge courtyard where Jedi are milling around before the funeral explains that most of these Jedi belong to the Jedi Order, but that there are many other communities of Jedi who have come to show respect for Sifo-Dyas. Anakin (and the audience) sits wide eyed, as the camera pans over the diverse crowd. Most are humanoids in brown robes, but maybe there's a super exotic giant alien Jedi who stands out. Or a tiny frail-looking alien Jedi sitting in a bubbling tank within a droid who is lumbering around. A group of Jedi in yellow robes who are singing while using the force to levitate water and deliver it to a tree's roots. Maybe some scary looking Jedi huddled in a corner not talking to anyone. Basically any tantalizing hints that "Jedi" can mean a lot of things, both in how they look, and what their unique tradition looks like. And maybe there's a moment where one of them greets Qui-Gon warmly, or Obi-Wan is seen chuckling with one of his peers. Again juxtapose this to the imperious Jedi Council they'll soon meet.
The funeral would then move to an underground chamber. Here, the audience only sees glimpses of the mysterious funeral tradition because we are seeing it through Anakin's eyes, and he falls asleep. A problem with the prequels is that it takes the mystery out of the Jedi. So it would be important to show a little of this, but not too much. And then since Episode II and III will be more Jedi Order-centric (with little to no mystery and mysticism), the viewer can still remember this scene; the promise that the REAL Jedi of old could have looked like anything (not just humans in brown robes in Corascant)... and most importantly we can use our imagination. Another way to think of it is if the prequels are going back in time and ruining the mystery of the Jedi, just promise the audience that even further back in time there truly was something mysterious going on.
This whole funeral sequence could be Qui-Gon's way of showing Anakin that the idea of a Jedi is intertwined with coexisting with nature, and there is a diversity of intelligent life forms who all have different but valid understandings of what the force is. It could also be a subservice way to remind Anakin that the Jedi Council (who he will soon meet), does not have a monopoly on the force; the teachings of their order are ultimately opinions.
Finally, Sifo-Dyas gets mentioned in Episode II, so the audience will have some understanding of who he was. The funeral rights themselves could give subtle context clues about the backstory of Sifo-Dyas and Dooku etc.
Sorry this was long! I'd love to hear input!

Hello everyone!
I am a current citizen of Long Beach who attends Woodrow Wilson High School. As summer is nearing, I will be having a lot of free time. Because of this, I would like to display that I am open to walking your dogs, cleaning, etc. If you have any house/pet/child needs, I would love to help. My mother and I are working together, as she is taking an effort to keep me safe, but I will be mainly doing the work, with her guidance if needed. If you have any needs (gardening, child {babysitting}, cleaning, pets) we would love to help out! Just let me know if you need any help, have questions, or are interested.

Every time my buddies talk about a golf trip, it’s Pebble Beach, or Kiawah, or Pinehurst, or [insert big name, $500/round golf course]. Went to Ireland and played some iconic courses there. They were pretty cool, views were amazing but the weather was ass, and it was impossible to enjoy the golf sometimes. It sucks the fun out of it for me when you have to book a tee time a year in advance, and then pay a shit load for what ends up being a nice golf course, but mostly just a brand name.
One of my favorite things is finding courses that aren’t brand names, but are just as nice. There are bound to be so many flying under the radar.
Two such courses I’ve played:
1) Balsam Mountain Preserve - Near Asheville, NC. I think it’s fully private now unfortunately, but holy shit. It’s up in the Smokey Mountains, built all along the mountainside. It was immaculate, like easily PGA Tour quality. Crazy elevations, unreal views.
2) Highland Meadows - Windsor, CO. Stumbled across it one summer while I had a couple of days off work. Let me walk on and didn’t charge me for rental clubs either day. It was like $40 which was crazy for the course you got. Really lush conditions, beautiful houses all around. Some parts run along a wildlife area, and plenty of nice views.
Just wondering what your hidden gem courses are, and why?

Just ran into this one I have never seen before. In Erbach, Germany, near Frankfurt. Can you help me identify it?

I’ll preface this with, if you know what vehicle you want, are paying in cash and the location is near you, I don’t know why you would buy a car anywhere else. Finally found the SUV that I wanted and did it all online in a matter of minutes. I live about 20 minutes from the Atlanta location so I was in and out in 20 minutes tops. The guy (Greg) that helped me out was really nice and professional so I don’t have a single complaint.
I realize my experience may not be like a lot of others since I didn’t finance, get delivery or have to travel far but wanted to make sure I spread some respect their way. It all worked as advertised.

I pressed the button to mute the headset while I was on Discord with friends so I could make a personal phone call. It made the two beeps to signal it was muted, but when I began speaking on the phone, I realized my microphone in Discord was still lighting up and my friends were telling me that I was unmuted and they could still hear me.
I've turned the headset off, unplugged the USB, plugged it back in, and turned the headset back on like suggested when I searched this issue on Google, still not working. I also installed the NGENUITY app and clicked the Reset to Default option, didn't work either. Again, it's playing the beeps to signify it's muted, but it is not actually muting the microphone, which is different than the other posts I've seen about this. Most of what I've found is people saying the headset isn't muting and not playing the beeps, while mine is still playing the beeps.
I've been waiting for HyperX support chat for nearly an hour with no movement in my position in queue, so I'm posting here.

I think it has to deal with the fact it’s nearly 2 years ago she broke up with me.
This relationship was far from perfect but I was dedicated and loyal all through it.
Communication was the big issue. She had her own mental health challenges and she needed a lot of time to recharge her batteries. We rarely spent time in person, and even though we lived a mile away from each other it might as well had been long distance. We dated for a year
Even though it was challenging, I respected her needs and remained dedicated and loyal to her and I was always their to help and encourage and support her.
Then one they she messaged me and she wanted to break up I was quote “five stars” she said I didn’t do anything wrong she just felt guilty I put in so much effort into the relationship and she barely did anything
A part of me can’t help but fear I was somehow overbearing or clingy.
I respected her wishes and I didn’t plead or beg or anything I haven’t spoken to her since.
I still have photos of us and her but I don’t look at them they are just in an album
I keep having thoughts of contacting her but I have to stop myself cause I know I’m not in a good place both physical space and head space and I’ll explain why.
I’ve been going to therapy which is good. I’m working my way up in my job.
I’m very lonely and socially starved throughout most of my life, I have one friend I talk to occasionally cause he’s always busy. Sometimes we hang out.
I want love and companionship so bad, but I get so attached so fast and easily limerence is a curse for me.
I don’t think I’m dangerous or anything I’m very loyal and dedicated but I can see how I could be over bearing or clingy. I also go through phases of pure desperation. It’s fucking torture like 70% of the time. I don’t want to put my issues on anyone friendship or romance.
My dream is life is I want a home and a partner or if I ever got married a wife to share it with.
Physically I live mostly with my mom I’m 20 I’m working my way up into management at a local store. I’m very lucky and grateful for the job opportunities but also my parents let me live with either of them.
At my moms though and I hate saying this. We are stuck with my grandma who is just rotting away.
The living room where she sleeps is just unlivable it smells like a public bathroom.
She doesn’t help us help her, I don’t expect her to do anything but their is a lot she could be doing that she doesn’t she half asses everything even eating. She doesn’t have dementia or anything but a lot of it is just learned helplessness she retired at 45 never took responsibility for anything barely held down a job. She’s also a pain pill abuser for over 40 years
On top of all of that My grandma, mom and uncle don’t have a good relationship I’ve been told stories where my grandmother and I hate saying this Is just an evil cunt. So their is so much anger and frustration you could fill a swimming pool.
It’s screaming matches all the time.
My uncle has given up his life to be the main care giver and it’s slowly killing him he has stage 3 kidney disease and he can barely take care of himself
My mom can’t stop working cause she is the one who pays for everything I contribute where I can but she’s the breadwinner.
My younger sister fled to my dads house cause she couldn’t handle it.
My mom is not mad at her but it makes her more angry at my grandma
It’s almost like when my mom and dad were together fighting all the time.
I’m on call to watch her or be home in case my uncle gets a gig or need to go somewhere important
I don’t mind helping, it’s important and they appreciate I help out but we all have to organize our lives for this ungrateful person. And she is ungrateful she told me and my uncle to our faces we don’t do anything for her when we do everything for her especially my uncle.
I’m not trapped in the house it’s I rarely go out. I go to the movies and the store but that’s it.
It’s not like I want her to drop dead or anything but do I have to give up my life until I’m 30 or something I get life isn’t fair but this is bullshit. I can’t find love or companionship cause my home is just a shithole at the moment
We can’t get her into a facility yet because of financial issues but slowly but surely we are getting their.
I used to be optimistic but it’s taken a toll on me.
If I had to leave I would but I fear for my moms mental health in general and if I left I think she would have some sort of breakdown.
It’s hell sometimes deep down I do love my grandma she is one of the most important people in my life but I really don’t like her right now with how she treats us.
I just feel stuck for the next decade and I’m wasting my life
The worst part is she wasn’t like this 3 years ago like she still did crazy shit but she was a functioning adult .
I don’t know what to do my headspace is just wrecked
My emotional eating is also been really bad