Bath and body works bergamot waters

I am listening to my old liked songs and "7 years" by Lukas Graham got shuffled. I started singing along. I started crying. I rewinded it back from the beggining and sang the whole song along. Some lines I could not even sing the words properly due to the tears and emotions in my throat.
(I tried searching whether I am the only one who reacts to this song emotionally and I found that this song was kinda hated at the time it was popular. Please no hate speech towards it here, this thread is not about that).
When I was seven years old I wish my mom told me, pushed me to make friends. I was a shy and lonely child back then. Who was into mom and spent most of the time with her. I bet she liked that attention. But that's not thinking about me.
When I was eleven (or a bit more) years old, I wish I was told it's okay to check boys. If I would mention any boy's name my mom would be more like 'oooh, you are communicating with a boooyy' and making it a big deal. Cuz girls only talk with girls. If girl talks with a boy - it must be something. So no boy friends and no boyfriends.
I'm almost thirty years old. No children. No man. So this part in the song is also painful.
And when I look into 60.. the future is not looking bright.. The song says that Lukas' father made it to 61. I had cancer when I was a teenager. I have some metastasis which looks kinda not good in the scans, but biopsies do not show cancer cells there. (Either doctors are not accurately aiming when taking biopsy, or the scan interpretation is incorrect) So I don't know whether I will reach those 60. That's why maybe it seems even more painful. To not have a life partner, when I don't even know how long do I have.
Sometimes it seems that the biggest unluck which could be in the world is with me. Not only within events which happens, but also what came with my body when I was born and when were growing up. I still believe that the time will come, I try to grow, I try to live, I try to not give up. I try to make friends. I am making plans and schemes in my head how to make a group of friends. I have never had such. Okay, in school, I had a girl quartet. But they were not good people. And they ditched me when I got cancer. From that period - only individual people. Most of the times - maximum one friend at a time. Who also has his own life and cannot be with me all the time for sure.
And there is more what to say. But it will be a neverending story. I wanted to vent out a bit. Thank you for reading.
Even after this. I still believe. Not in god. In myself and future and life. Maybe the failures will be more painful with expectations. But still - trying to live the life at fullest. Trying to work on myself to get better to be alone at shared places. And at the same time seeking for friendships. Trying to release the bad memories from inside. Trying not to think about people based on the experience I had..
I don't know why I wrote this thread. But a need popped into my head. I liked reading the stories of others. So here is mine for you.
Let's have a big bit of luck every day, every hour, every minute. Let's live this life.

When breaking an extended fast with a strict keto meal, do you maintain ketosis? and when i’m in a state of ketosis and working out, do I still have to remain in the fat burning zone (zone 2) or can I allow my heart rate exceed that seeing as my body should be burning fat anyways as a primary source of fuel.

Prepare yourself for a pretty long post, but I just really have to put it out there. Reddit have been my output/diary and I really do hope that posting here helps not only me but also some of you guy.
Let me tell you guys I think this REALLY is worth it, I mean the recovery. (btw I always knew that it was but kinda couldn't have imagined myself to doing it). Okay so quick update I have being doing the all-in recovery since February, and by all-in I really do mean eat and eat and gain and then eat again. I would say that the first 3 months have been really tough, this involved: crying, really "hating" my body, being scared, ditching social events just to sleep, eat and relax, and being my biggest judge. Since the end of May, I am really starting to feel like myself and not someone who is only thinking about food, calories, and movement.
Main points:
-Food, I think I have eaten everything and more, I am excited to eat new things, cook, eat what I want whenever I want, spend time with my loved ones and if there is food around I enjoy it and move on. Remember there is nothing bad about eating more, and having fun around food, it is normal to share a good time by eating together. The Most important thing to remember is that there is not such a thing as TOO much food.
-Body, oh... if you guys saw me 4 months ago you wouldn't have recognized me now probably, but I did get that a few times when I was deep in my ed, people who saw me after a long time couldn't believe how sick I was. I call it sick now but before it was a compliment, now I know that they were shocked and worried. Clothes...yeah need a whole new wardrobe, good thing that my style is pretty baggy and oversized so the big tees saved me, my beautiful fluffy tummy made me go up 4 sizes in pants. My weight gain has been the hardest part, but also to be honest the best part. I can finally able to sit comfortably and my whole body doesn't ache when I sleep.
-Life, really has become so much more enjoyable, I am planning events, trips etc. and not meals. I have picked up my hobbies again and I am excited to find new things I am passionate about. I am in my 3rd year of uni, and I can finally study freely with my friends in a real way and learn, read books, watch movies, and listen to music. I am going to parties, dancing, having fun getting drunk and then eating a huge KEBAB at 4am with my bffs. These last few months have been the best months in my uni life, unfortunately, I spent the rest deep in ed. My mind has cleared up, not foggy anymore so I have so much more place to daydream and fantasize. I am taking myself on dates to the places I wanted to enjoy, including cafes, bakeries, and restaurants.
-Mindset, I can't say I am comfortable in my body to be honest but I am comfortable in my mind. I relive this is all about the mindset, I try to tell myself that I am doing this for my future, that weird process will end and I will be free. Sometimes I need to tell myself that everything will be okay, and see the bigger picture. To be honest I have stopped thinking that much about it, most days I just don't give a f*ck and just live. I spent my days watching WIEIAD, reading about ed, recovery, watching fitness videos etc. but now they have become the most boring thing ever. I don't have a place for them in my life, mind, and time.
-Reactions,yep I have gotten a few comments like: "Wow you are going so fast", my answer. okay why should I take it slow, this is my life and my way, no point in wasting it on taking it slow. "Are you going to start going to the gym again, nothing bad I am just surprised that you have changed that fast", this hit hard to be honest, cried my eyes out, and answered this is my life, my body and I am the only one deciding what I want to do with it. I just don't want to workout, too tired for that, if I am ready to start movement again I want to do it for fun. OFC I have days where I still care about other people's opinion but at the end of the day I am the only one who is spending with myself 24/7 and my opinion is the only one that matters, that is why my priority is health and happiness, so for all the people out there judging give it a break and mind your own business.
My side effects of recovery: Extreme hunger still going strong but I really can see the end of it, fluffy body(doubled my weight), water retention, sleepiness the first 3 months(now I have so much energy), HAPPINESS
Not gonna lie I go a little teary-eyed writing this, I am really glad I am doing this.
This is not the end of the recovery process, I will probably have a lot of bad days, beacuse life tends to be a bumpy ride, but I do believe all of this is worth it.
I hope this post can motivate you to start fighting or keep going, take your time, do it the way you want to do it, don't care about other people and what they have to say about it all. Be patient with the process and yourself. Go with the flow when it comes to EH.
Thank you for reading this scribble

I've been working in office settings for ten years and I have never consistently been able to make lunch the night before and bring it to work. The rare times I do, I sometimes forget I have it as I'm munching on pretzels, popcorn, and sugary stuff. So I've basically given up on eating normally at work. Once every few weeks I go to the supermarket and buy shelf stable snacks which I munch on all day long, and cans of tuna. Fortunately this job also buys us lunch from local restaurants twice a week so I'm eating better than I did at previous jobs. I also have "just add hot water" type soups which I can make in the office. Are you able to prep lunch at home or if not, what do you eat at work?

Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior and nobody can take that from me.
My introduction into Christianity was one of shame and regret, some healthy repentence, but mostly finding that I needed to apologize for my entire existence and see myself as less worthy and undeserving because of m sexuality and sexual history. Christians are very judgemental and hypocritical, the rumors were true. The veil of "Jesus saves and forgives and wipes the slate clean" is pretty thin and just beneath lies countless who love to use anything they can to make themselves feel better, more worthy, more Heaven-bound at the expense of others.
I couldn't take it and it made my mental health incredibly fragile and unstable. I became unbalanced and veered back and forth between total unabashed sin that was really a form of self harm because I felt that was all I deserved, and trying to be the holiest most perfect person or feeling totally unloved and unworthy of love God's love. The way my brain works, that was how it manifested.
I am no longer going to try to be the perfect Christian girl, I never will be. My celibacy has been broken and I'm not in a space of repentance right now. Because I'm not in a place of shame right now. God still loves me and Jesus still saves me. I'm still going to Heaven.
My sexual partner is a Christian who waited, very unlike me, until 25 years old to lose his virginity to a "sexually pure Good Christian" girl who was horrible to him, didn't keep herself beautiful or in shape, made his life miserable and ultimately cheated on him.
We're falling in love and yes we're having sex. And it is so amazing and we're both so much happier than we were before. He doesn't care about my past, is more confident as a man due to being treated well by a feminine and sweet woman and given a much needed outlet, enjoying life more having a fun and beautiful girl to experience the world with. And we both still love God, and in fact we are both bringing each other closer to God after falling away. Finding our true relationship with Him. And if we're wrong, God will deal with us.
Anyways, I have a quite high body count and have been in the sex industry since I was very young. I have tattoos and piercings, my appearance probably screams "sinner" to most people, no matter what I do. But I am still more loving and devoted than many "pure" girls who were always good Christians. It's such a lie that I wouldn't be able to love and pair bond. I know what loveless, superficial sex is like and now I know what sex is like when you're completely, totally in love. Knowing the latter I would never go back, my experiences only serve to give me a deeper appreciation of the love and commitment I get to experience by the grace of God. I'm going to be an amazing wife and mother and make my husband very happy, and my love for him will never run dry. I'm not damaged goods and my ability to love deeply has not been broken. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk and God bless :)

Hiii Please don't be dismissive or me or tell me to leave the profession. I'm looking forward to work as a doctor, intract and help patients.
Sooo all this issues started for me in the Obs-Gyn rotations. I am a female myself, but everytime they spoke about something intimate or personal - I would get super akwarded out. Even i hated to see any procedures and would just be uncomfortable the whole time. I have also felt extremely uncomfortable in nephro rotation and in gastro too - specially when they spoke about colonscopy and all. The issue is after seeing something, I keep replaying the scenario in my head. And that is just mentally exhausting I wish there was a button where I could forget about certain things and body parts
Has anyone here dealt with it ?? Any ideas on how i can have some peace of mind?? I'm so tired and exhausted
​
Alsoo , another issue with me is that I've noticed if i see a sad or depressing case in the hospital - it makes me incredibly upset and i am not visibly able to change my thought process and end up keep thinking about it throughout the day or the week. its so bad sometimes coz i get nightmares about it too

Previous, first, next,
Fanfiction.
Chapter 28 cont;
Working at sea had made me buy a coat specifically designed for the more extreme types of weather, but with its age and my short stint in the Irish sea the efficacy of the wax coating had all but vanished, after only taking a few steps I felt the water beginning to seep through. Putting aside the chill that came with wearing wet clothes I made my way along the deck until I found the cruiser.
She wasn't particularly difficult to find. Her cherry blond hair and pure white cape made it easy to spot her against the greys of the ship and sky. Her head was tilted upward with her eyes closed. She held Montpelier’s cube in her arms letting the rain fall on it. She must have noticed me coming, for she opened her eyes and looked over to me as I approached.
“Hey.” She greeted, her tone completely neutral and with a distinctive lack of the boyish bravado I had heard before. Her hair and all of her clothes were absolutely drenched yet she didn't seem to care.
“Hey. How are you holding up?” I awkwardly replied.
“Fine, I guess.” Cleveland replied, looking down at the cube and affectionately rubbing it with her thumb. “I’ve had this body for half a year now. Yet this is the first time I've ever felt the rain.”
“And how are you finding it?”
“Cold and wet.” She lifted her head up once again, letting the rain splash against her face. “But it is kinda nice. The sound against the deck and sea is rather pleasant.”
“You should try listening to it near a forest or field, especially during spring. I used to listen to it all the time back home.” Memories of countless days back home sitting in the study with the window open reading book after book while it rained outside surfaced.
“Guess that stereotype holds true then, eh?” There was the faintest hint of a smile on her lips. “Monty always enjoyed the quiet time we had together.”
My eyes were drawn to the cube in her hands. “May I?”
There was a moment of reticence before she slowly offered the cube to me. “Please, be careful.”
“I will, I promise.” I carefully took the item from Cleveland, taking it into my hands as delicately as I could. The dull crystal felt cold to my touch, and it wasn’t only due to the rain. I slowly rotated it in my fingers, hoping for something, anything that would show a sign of activity within, yet my mind didn’t become awash with random thoughts or feelings; it felt like nothing more than mundane glass in my hands.
The guilt was piling up again. “I can't begin to express how sorry I am. We should have acted sooner.”
Cleveland looked at her hand while she flexed her fingers, but her eyes never left the cube. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You did all that you could, and even took a great risk for complete strangers. It's me who is to blame for not being there for her. For leaving her behind.”
“But I will not fail her again.” She continued, confidence returning to her voice and posture. “I know within my heart that we will be reunited one day.” She ran a hand along the silver streak in her hair.
“If you don't mind me asking, what happened when you touched your sister's ship? For a moment it looked like you had two riggings.” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.
“I don't really know what or how I did it, I just couldn't let her ship fall apart like that. However, now it seems like I can have both my and her rigging.” She waved a hand out to sea where a Cruiser sailed alongside the battleship. And with a flash of light her rigging appeared. “It's uncomfortable having both at the same time to say the least, but like this it's not too bad.”
“Well you can keep her ship safe for her.” I carefully held out the cube for her to take back. “If there's one thing I've learned in the time I've spent around you girls is that anything is possible.”
“Thanks.” She took the cube back. “Not just for saying that, but for everything you and your crew have done. It's heartening to know there's at least one person out there looking out for us.” Cleveland rocked on her heels. “If it's alright with you, may I hang around with you guys for a bit? I don't really have anywhere else to go and being part of a fleet sounds nice.”
“There will always be a place for you in this fleet, Cleveland. For you and any other ship that wishes to join us.” I offered my hand. “No strings attached, if you don't wish to fight or follow orders then you can just wait out any fight onboard a ship”
Cleveland gave a toothy smile. “I won’t be no slacker. I'll earn my keep just as much as any other girl. You can depend on our six inch guns.” I paid attention to her eyes when she took my hand. Now there was the distinct blue glow for less than a second in her right eye, something that had happened before with other girls. Cleveland seemed to relax slightly after the exchange, but I could still see weariness in her.
She tilted her head up to the sky. “Man, it's really coming down now. We should head back inside.” Cleveland took one more pensive look at her ship before walking inside.
The water dripping from our clothes echoed inside the ship as we walked. We came upon a junction where we would go down different paths, and Cleveland paused to speak, rubbing the brooch on her cape once again. “James… About what you did. I know it probably isn't right to say, but thank you. If anyone deserved such a fate, it was him. So you ever need anything from me, no matter what it is I will do it.”
“Uh, thanks.” I replied, unable to think of something meaningful to say. The idea of being thanked for what I did was hard to comprehend, but the gratitude I saw in the cruiser's face helped ease the turmoil within.
That gratitude was also disturbing somehow.
–
I decided to return to my cabin with my drenched self and next to no desire to eat. I changed out of the wet raincoat and inner clothes and sat down on my bed, contemplating what to do. With how exhausted I felt sleep would probably come easily but I knew without a doubt it would be anything but peaceful.
There was the option of finishing off the bottle under my bed, but while it would help it’d only be pushing the problem aside temporarily, and I didn’t want Warspite or worse, Javelin or Z23 see me in that state. I continued mulling over my options until the daylight disappeared completely. Just as I was about to risk a night's sleep there and there came a gentle knocking at my door.
With a sigh, I got up and opened the door. I was greeted with the warm and dignified visage of Hood standing on the other side, with several books held under her arm and lips curled into a smile when our eyes met.
“Ah good,” her eyes moved to the empty tray still left at the side. “I see you enjoyed your lunch. May I come in?”
Hood had been the one to leave that try outside my door, even after how I had snapped at her, now I just felt even more guilty.
I stepped aside and waved her in. “Please.”
The battlecruiser walked into the small cabin with a familiar scent of lavender trailing behind her. She placed her books down on the small table while inquisitively looking around the room. I soon wished I had cleaned it.
I gulped when her eyes spotted the bottle under my bed. She didn’t say anything about it, but laid dead still, keeping an inscrutable smile. She lingered on it for a moment then returned her attention to me, taking off the glove of her right hand in the process. She gestured to come closer with one of her revealed fingers. “Come here.”
The very instant I closed the distance, I received a slap for the second time today, faster than I could react as well.
“I deserved that.” I sputtered gracelessly, rubbing my swollen cheek. She didn’t hit me as hard as Warspite had, but it had been the same side and reignited the sting from earlier.
“I will not tolerate being spoken to in such a manner, not from you nor anyone else. Not now, not ever.” Hood folded her arm and raised her nose curtly, her face a scowl of indignation. “No matter what you went through, to threaten one of us with an order of that kind goes against everything you stand for, and if you ever begin to stray again a slap will be the least of your problems, James.”
I looked down, misery once more coming afloat.
With her fury vented, Hood's posture relaxed and she looked at me more caringly. She put on her glove again. “James. I–we only desire to be of service to you in any way we can. You need not suffer alone. You don’t have to suffer alone, nothing good will come of it. Which is why I am here now.”
She carefully sat down on the small chair in the room, ensuring her large skirt didn’t get caught or creased.
“I don’t understand?”
She smiled with dignity. “My cabin is directly next to yours. And the walls are naught but a thin sheet of metal. I know you regularly awaken suddenly in the night from being disturbed in your sleep, so I'm here to ensure you get a proper night's rest.” She waved to the pile of books and the bed. “Don’t worry about me, I will keep myself occupied.”
I opened my mouth to protest but she quickly cut me off. “There will be no negotiation, you assisted me when I struggled to sleep and now I shall do the same. Now get yourself ready for bed, I will close my eyes.” She leaned back and shut her eyes.
Knowing there was no point in arguing, I removed both my shirt and trousers and laid myself down in bed. My face felt warm at the idea of Hood sitting by me while I slept, enough to overpower the last bits of lingering pain from the slap, but exhaustion hit me like a train the moment I laid down.
Hood reopened her eyes with the slightest bit of a blush of her own. “Good, now you just relax and I will be here if you need me.” Hood reached down and grabbed the bottle. “Honestly, I don’t understand your reasoning behind seeking comfort in this instead of getting it from a beautiful lady.” She opened the bottle and took a rather large swig.
“Don’t know where I could find the latter.” I mumbled.
“I am not ignorant of how I look, nor am I to your wandering gaze.” She quipped with a coy smile. “Now enough chitchat, it’s time for you to rest. That is unless you want me to read for you?”
“Fine, fine. Have it your way.” I said, resting my head down and shutting my eyes. It took a while to get over the nerves of having Hood sitting beside me, but the occasional flip of a page became a pleasant background noise that helped lull me to sleep.
—
Warspite sat in her captain’s chair, resting her head in her arm as she wracked her brain. She rocked her head back with a groan once more. “Why did you have to go and hit him, Warspite? You bloody stupid ship.”
She didn’t know why she had such a rush of emotions when he spoke and acted without thinking before bawling like an infant. Why is it now that just his presence is enough to throw her whits into a loop, yet she couldn’t wait until he was sitting in this chair with her at his side again?
“Things were easier when I wanted naught but to throw him overboard.” She sighed.
Another issue came to her mind, something she had brought back from the facility, not the notebook; that could remain safely locked away until she was sure her opinion of humans wouldn’t worsen even more. This was something else, something she wished she had never even touched and just left it where it lay, for what it meant made her sick.
Someone approached her bridge, Warspite quickly brushed aside her thoughts and tried to figure out who it was. She was unsuccessful at figuring out who it was but when the door had opened she quickly dropped to her knee.
“Good evening, your Majesty.”
Elizabeth smiled and walked onto the bridge. “There will never be a day where thou need to kneel upon thy own bridge. Stand, my dear Warspite.”
“Yes, your Majesty.” The battleship stood back up. “How was your rest? I hope the rain was not too distracting.” Warspite offered the captain's chair to Elizabeth for her to sit. But the tiny Queen remained standing.
After surveying the surrounding sea Elizabeth turned to her sister. “T’was most pleasant. How did things fare while I rested? Did you speak to our Commander about the book?”
“Ah, well.” Warspite scratched her head. “He gave me the same answer as you, your Majesty. I will wait until Cleveland is in a better condition and ask her permission to read it.”
Elizabeth brought a hand to her chin, noticing the small movements and fidgeting her sister was still doing. “Yet something troubles you still. Is it anything I could be of assistance with?”
Warspite sighed and dropped her shoulders. “May I ask for your assistance in something, not as my queen but as my sister?”
The Queen nodded with a soft smile. “I will always be your big sister before I am your Queen, Warspite. What is it you wish to confide in me with?”
“One second.” She replied before walking off into a small secondary inner communications room connected to the bridge, its purpose made redundant by her being able to control the ship completely no matter where she was. But inside a small cabinet was an inconspicuous rag that hid the source of her problems. She returned to the bridge with the item in hand.
“The notepad wasn't the only thing I grabbed before leaving.” She spoke as she walked over. “When James…” Warspite paused as she relived the memory. “When he shot that wretched man he dropped his gun.”
Peeling back the rag she showed Elizabeth the firearm. “There had been something about the sound it made when it fell that made me curious. I could tell you, but I think it's better for you to see for yourself.”
She offered the gun to her sister cautiously. Elizabeth took the firearm into her hand, instantly finding herself being able to handle it like she had trained with it for decades. Her brow furrowed as she noticed something was off about it.
“It can't be.” She pressed down on the magazine release to confirm her suspicion. “It's… empty?” Elizabeth was dumbfounded at the empty magazine. “Did you unload it?”
Warspite sighed and shook her head. “Unfortunately no. This is how it was, so technically…”
“James was never in any real danger.” Elizabeth finished, remembering what Warspite had told her of the exchange when they had returned.
“And that's the problem, I know James would want me to be honest to him. But what he did is tearing him apart inside, this would only make things worse.” She looked in the general direction of where his cabin would be. “I’m perplexed, Elizabeth. I’m sorry for dropping this on you, but what should I do?”
The Queen was silent for a while. Her gaze was distant as she thought over the problem until her smile returned and she returned the gun to her sister. “You should throw this in the ocean and forget about it. He put a gun against our James’ head. Loaded or not, James acted accordingly.”
Warspite looked at the gun and nodded. “I should have clocked it.”
An arm rested against her shoulder. “The past is filled with should haves and would haves, Warspite. If we were able to go back and change things then a lot of disasters could have been avoided.” Elizabeth felt the echoes of a memory come to mind, of a beach too steep to climb and an ocean filled with blood. “But we can't change them, so we must learn, grow stronger and soldier onward.”
The two sisters embraced one another in a hug for a long time until eventually breaking and retiring for the night. But not before the old warship went and threw the gun overboard, cursing the name of its deceased owner as she did, hoping the seas would swallow one more secret, never to resurface again.
(A/N) once again I ended up seeing this chapter getting longer and longer, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and look forward to the next, it should be coming soon as at the time of posting this the next chapter is already about halfway done.

If you don't scold or discipline children and do not set basic rules and standards for them, do they turn out having a good work ethic and respecting their parents? I don't think so. And I find that to be a pertinent metaphor for the culture at the club in at least the last decade.
Carlton are so concerned with losing players and keeping them happy, that they actually let them dictate to the club in regards to their standards and their contracts, and there has been so much negative press and little success in recent years that the club has to overpay to attract anyone in, and it's for the wrong reasons.
Stringent standards and accountability need to be set, but each time a coach attempts implement these things, the players go to water because of the metaphorical problem mentioned above. This isn't a problem with the children, it's a problem with the parents....the parents are responsible for setting the standards and creating the culture, that's where it has to start.
The people in charge of the club have to stand behind the coach and allow him to create an environment for the players which demands work ethic, respect, accountability and strong leadership. The players have to know that if they can't or won't do what the coach asks of them, then they'll be moved out for people who can and will. That's where it starts, then you build your list around people who will work hard and execute the basics and go from there.
Interested to hear other people's thoughts on additional problems which I haven't covered.

The first student said “It started raining heavily after I’d left home so I had take my time and dodge raindrops all the way here.”
The second goes “While it was raining, loud thunder caused the ground to split. I had to go back home and get a needle and enough thread to sew it back together and that’s why I’m late.”
The third said “After it rained this morning I heated water to bath with but my mum thought it was too hot and added water to cool it. I had to sit and physically pick out each drop of the water I heated from my bucket. That’s why I’m late.”
The fourth remained silent until the teacher asked “So why were you late?” He responded “Hmm, I spent a lot of time searching but didn’t find enough rope to tie their stories together.”

I’ve been increasing the number of hours a week I dance pretty significantly, partly because of a show coming up in a couple months. I heard of the supplement creatine relatively recently and bought some a while ago, but never started taking it. I’m now considering it because of what I heard about it helping with building muscle and muscle recovery. I especially want to do what I can to maintain my muscle if I lose weight (a goal, but not one I’m currently working very hard towards). I’m aware of the temporary water weight gain at the beginning. Anyone have thoughts on it or experiences taking it? Has it been recommended to anyone in the ballet world?

is it a good idea?? im writing as i got out of a bath after cutting in my house for the second time, i thought the bath would be safe since my parents cant see any blood and it really did work in that regard
the only issue is the cuts kinda burned?? does hot water burn them only or is it water all the same be it cold or hot??? this could help me stay sane during summer bcs i havent been cutting for long but fortunately my big sausage-like scars are in, it still kinda burns at points like at my chest
unrelated but i also think im disgustingly pathetic and pitiful, could it be possible the only reason i cut is because someone i love used to cut too?? i knew about it beforehand but never tried it until the end of 2022, the one thing that bothers me the most aside from my stupidity and the mistake of an existance i am is not being validated, the thought and image of cuts make me feel valid and thanksto tthem everyone, my family, friends, teachers act kinder than ever before, i took one more pill than the max, so what???? i just skipped my fucking math exam by sleeping, that shit isnt overdose
i dont think my cutting is valid is it? ofc its not even the burns show how much of a pitiful pussy i'll live to be without being able to die, i can only laugh at how disgustingly horrendous my being is

I'm going to be killed by a group of 20 armed men who show up at my door three months into the bad time, "asking" for food for "their kids". I'll refuse and maybe get three of them before one of them decorates my doorframe with my brains. OR...
... I'll be on Day 267 of my epic "I am Legend" survival fantasy, making another trip to my water source on my uberbike and run over a twig, go over the handlebars and break my arm in just such a way so as to not be able to defend myself when the rabid two headed mutated dogs come to tear me apart. OR...
... I'll be sitting on my toilet throne surrounded by mountains of toilet paper, chuckling to myself over my foresight and listening to the screams of the single mothers outside on the street as they forage for anything, ANYTHING to wipe their poor child's ass, when I'll have an unexpected aneurism and be eaten by my cats. OR....
... I'll die at the age of 93, in my chair beside the fire, the final ironic twist being the fact that I died completely naturally. My last dream will be to wonder at what never happened, the End Times I worried about all those years that never came, but I prepared, oh, I was ready, but the world didn't care about that. It just carried on, same as it always has, same as it always will, regardless of how much I worried about it. As my soul leaves my body, sudden clarity will come, the spiritual epiphany that had eluded me all those misguided years. I finally see The Light, the realization of how to make the perfect water filter.

Target User: u/DancingMoonKnight
URL: /Twittecomments/142rl9q/cannot_add_members_to_list/
Title: Cannot add members to list
Body:
I'm trying to create a new list, but when I go to add members and search for users I am following, they don't show up. When I search normally in Twitter they don't show up in autocomplete, but I can force Twitter to go the user page and it works. When adding members, I cannot do this. Does anyone know why this is happening and how to fix it? I am only seeing this with particular users and I don't know why

i feel like sick, I feel like I can’t be at home in my own body sick. and at first I tried to escape from my own brain with drinking, but found myself unable to do any of that last night. i tried to stop drinking in our relationship in which I’d stop for a while, but because I would be so mistreated and devalued I would get drunk and either simply express my feelings or tell him he’s an asshole and a piece of shit. which would result in it becoming about me being drunk and not about how he’s hurting me as it was also about what I did wrong and if I tried to hold him accountable he would just cry and say “I deserve better” or other things. making me feel bad and like I’m to blame. he blamed me for being raped in February. He told me he was dating me bc I wouldn’t say no to him(abt drug usage) he would cause me distress and watch me throw up shaking and crying with no emotional expressions of concern. he told me I was a rebound then took it back. One time I was drunk and I thought he was ignoring me bc he’d do that and I just pleaded and sobbed on the phone saying sorry just bc I felt ignored - he just played a video game with his friends in the background telling them how bad I was. i myself have extensive trauma that I’ve been working on but it had felt impossible to continue working on it. so we agreed to go on a break but he was being reallly mean to me just bc I was trying to talk abt what I want from it and he said I was guilt tripping him. i decided that he was just not in the right state as the other night when he mistreated me and looked me dead in my face and said “he was breaking up with me to remove everyone from his life.” He said he would go to rehab but then took it back. This was a few days ago. I decided that we weren’t going to be able to take a break so I tried to show him the damage he had done to me. I wouldn’t leave my bed, my friends were sick and tired of seeing me constantly suffer, but I put my needs aside bc if I was upset he would leave me to show me that it’s conditional and that he can take his love away at any time. well I tried to find a way to share with his parents as he was stealing from them too - his mom being a therapist- that he’s using. (which I’m surprised he even told me bc he lied to me a lot even about simple things like a flu test but would go to extremes for all lies) he used kratom like every day as well. he’s now blocked me on everything and the last words he said to me was that he does not love me and never wants to interact with me again. i haven’t eaten in two days. i can’t do anything but sulk bc he knows that I have cptsd and severe trauma and feel inherently like I don’t deserve love. my therapist says she saw this all unfold for months of how hard I tried to make it a healthy relationship. And slowly I gained weight, wouldn’t leave my bed, and had really bad thoughts about myself would inflict self harm through drinking. one night I got drunk and I tried to grind on him to try and get him to rape me when extremely blacked out. because I have been raped since I was 4 and over 50 times. he would say he understands but is now saying I raped him. in which I didn’t- that’s not what he said happened until trying to really hurt me now - I got drunk the first night we met and tried to do this as well but he didn’t care then just got away from me so now it feels like he just wants me to feel so bad about myself. my therapist said he’s punishing me. I can’t shake the feeling. I feel like it’s all my fault. I really care about him and I’ll never see him again. I know I wasn’t perfect and how I behave w extensive mistreatment and trauma has improved a lot. but with repetitive emotional abuse it was like he just became my father and I couldn’t escape it. I just wanted to love and be loved. I already miss him so much. Will he realize he was mistreating me from the beginning?

I'm thinking about buying this 944 from a tow yard. Paints fucked but it hasn't been sitting long enough for the body to be rusted.
It's gonna need a restoration, hopefully just interior work and paint but I'm wanting to check with yall.
It's a 1987 944, all four tires are flat and paint is peeling, but doesn't seem to have any rust or body damage. Story is they lost the key and parked it, it got towed, now the tow yard wants 800 for It but seem open enough to haggling. It's been for sale for months and at this point they might be tired of it enough to let it go for cheaper
Is there anything yall think I should look out for that I can't fix?
In my scope
I can do paint, upholstery, anything to the motor that doesnt require pulling it out, electrical. If absolutely necessary I know a guy who can weld and patch the floor pans as needed. Suspension work, brakes, all that is well within the range of my willingness to learn to deal with it.
Out of scope Tbh I'll have to just buy any dash, glass or plastics. I can pull the motor but oh my god I REALLY don't want to. I'd really rather not deal with driveshafts and I can't align it myself. Notably I also do not have a lift.
Also, be honest with me guys, how bullshit is the wiring gonna be? I'm obsessed with the look of these cars and I here the reputation is great, I'm too poor to buy a nice one so I have to make one nice.