Vietnamese supermarket near me
biggest mistake of my life.
2023.06.07 22:05 Saehlp biggest mistake of my life.
Hey :') I'm so sorry for how long this rant is..
I'm (19 F) undiagnosed and come from an Arab household that doesn't believe in adhd. Right now I'm a sophomore studying abroad, so basically i have so many administrative duties i need to deal with but, as you can imagine, i struggle SO much with that..
Long story short, i think i effed so bad this time. so much that i think there's no way to fix it, there's no way around it.
Among all the small and big fck ups I've had these years (losing my phone for good, nearly forgetting my luggage at the airport, nearly forgetting my backpack with my laptop and important documents (like my passport...) in it in a bus, still not having a health insurance card, or a part time job...), I'm scared this one will have irreversible consequences.
Basically, I didn't follow through my request for the APL (Personalized Housing Assistance) until the end... so now, at the end of my school year, there's no way for me to touch the APL I could've had for the whole year. Technically, this sucks big time. But i wouldn't be this scared if that was it.
I'll explain more on later, but first you should know i have a really complicated relationship with my father. Long story short, my parents have been divorced for a decade, he's been emotionally abusing & financially (100%) neglecting me and my brothers since forever, but i have had to fake being oblivious and liking him since a kid because we desperately need his financial support (AND there's more to that).
Anyway, last year, i was having the worst emotional breakdowns every few weeks and such intense depressive episodes because, among other things, i had no financial security and my dad wouldn't pay for my rent. My mom had to take care of it for me, on top of sending me my alimony (which btw he's the one supposed to take care of), but i know she struggles to make ends meet and we're already so indebted...so I've always felt sickly bad and responsible for adding that burden on her (i still do).
This year, the court finally ruled for him to send us each our alimony (tho i can only keep half of it but i don't mind.) AND, he's been paying my rent nearly every month. (Thanks to my older brother having a talk w him)
But, because of me & the awful ways with which i deal w life because of my untreated ADHD, i might lose his support forever.
Basically... i don't (& certainly won't) touch the APL this year, but I'm supposed to send that money to my dad anyway. This entire year, i tried several times to get that done, but there was always something else in the way, like not having all the requested documents for the APL, such as not receiving my "residence card student" until February (and the delay of 5 months to get that was ENTIRELY their fault).
I'll have to explain why to my dad, no later than next week, and I'm genuinely terrified of his reaction (i know he's gonna be so angry) and the (very?) plausible probability of him financially abandoning me and my lil brother.
If he does, I'm so dead, i will have horribly screwed things up w my mom, my older brother will too lose all respect he has left for me, and I've imagined all the possible outcomes: i see no way to fix this.
i know I'm only 19, it's not the end of the world, maybe things will get better with time, but i see no way out of this. nothing could repair my already complicated bond with my mom, and i will never be able to forgive myself.
so.. honestly, I'm not asking you to try and console me, i know i could've prevented all of this from happening. I just..would like to know, how do you deal with the grief and anger that comes with the f ups you make? how do you forgive yourself? and move on knowing everything would've been better IF ONLY you hadn't or had done such & such?
idk :((
I'm trying to be as concise as possible but i know i suck at that and English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if some things don't add up or if I'm just rambling :') Thank you so much to anyone who has read all of this <3
tldr: I'm 19, study abroad & heavily financially depend on my dad. But i messed up so bad while dealing with administrative tasks, and I'm scared of his reaction and that he might financially abandon me, and i see no way to fix my mistake. I'm so, so scared
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2023.06.07 22:03 donttouchthatknob [SETLIST THREAD] Dead & Company, Hollywood Casino Ampitheater, St. Louis, MO, 6/7/23
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2023.06.07 22:03 user9002ET Mistlands on old game?
Got the game a month or two after pc release. Played same world. Nearly done the plains. Looking for mistlands now. I remember when onion seeds came out it took me a while to find them. I went to mountains that i mapped out the base and though most of the mountain was greyed out no seeds spawned. That being said will i have a hard time finding mistlands? I didn’t travel more than half way south for trader. Maps pretty empty east west and north.
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2023.06.07 22:03 CuntPuntAficionado As of today, do you prefer mainline or EA Yuzu for ToTK?
Recently switched from exclusively EA and tried mainline and it seems everything is pretty well optimized at this point. Personally, the experience is near perfect for me now so I’m going to stick to mainline unless I hear of some must-try advancement on EA. I’m interested in other’s experiences with this though, out of curiosity.
At first EA had a lot of new features coming out all the time, but it seems like mainline now has pretty much has anything one could need and is running totk really well
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2023.06.07 22:02 VTOnReddit Struggling to get CCTV System Working Correctly
In late 2016 we spent over $20k to have a surveillance system installed with a Seneca server, 4 12MP 360 cameras, and Milestone XProtect. The plan was to add more cameras yearly, up to a minimum of 12 and maximum of 30.
We liked the user interface of Milestone, but trying to use it remotely was useless. Using it in the server room, the video was always super choppy.
Eventually we find out the issue is the video card of the server can’t really handle playing the video it’s recording. But the company we had initially used, was trying to convince us we needed a whole new system, because supposedly our server didn’t meet the requirements for the newest version of XProtect.
I thought that was bullshit, so I have been trying the DIY route. Using a Synology rack and surveillance station.
Originally our cameras were on a separate network, not directly connected to the internet. Synology couldn’t get that to work and made me connect them to the internet.
Still have tons of issues viewing footage, downloading footage, and having the cameras stay connected.
The dewarping on Surveillance Station sucks, and makes the 360 cameras more hassle than they’re worth.
Kind of at a loss as to what to do. Have wasted a year of my life (not constantly trying) working to get this system up and usable.
Just viewed footage with the police of an incident, and the footage is all blurry and nearly worthless.
Any ideas? I was thinking about trying to buy a new version of XProtect myself, and maybe getting a new server too.
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2023.06.07 22:02 ClassicMain JewelSwap x OneDex Partnership Unlocking the Potential of MultiversX DeFi
| Jewelswap has surprised its users with yet another partnership; this time: OneDex. OneDex is a permissionless decentralized AMM based Exchange, featuring Farms, Dual Farms, Staking and more! Advancing Capital Efficiency: The Groundbreaking Partnership of Jewelswap and OneDex https://preview.redd.it/okir1f9hjn4b1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=b65a273a2a5bf90ba0cf52300f86b4738c32b4fc Get ready for the new partnership between JewelSwap, the leading lending and borrowing platform on MultiversX, and OneDex, a groundbreaking permissionless Automated Market Maker Decentralized Exchange. Through their collaboration, JewelSwap and OneDex aim to expand the MultiversX DeFi Space, taking capital efficiency into account. Integration of Three OneDex Farms into JewelSwap JewelSwap has recently integrated three of OneDex’s Farms, namely: - ONE/EGLD
- USDC/USDT
- LEGLD/EGLD
Users can now choose to deposit either complete LP (liquidity pool) Tokens into JewelSwap or let JewelSwap build the LP Tokens for them. If you provide only one token, JewelSwap will swap half of it for the other needed half to build the LP Token, then it will build and finally deposit the LP Token into OneDex’s Farms. “But what is the benefit here? I can do all of that by myself directly on OneDex!” That is true, however, JewelSwap does something you cannot do by yourself: 24 times per day autocompounding. JewelSwap’s Farm integration will regularly and frequently sell your accumulated rewards to build more LP positions for you to generate the maximum possible yield. This service comes at no deposit or withdrawal fees and no lock period. There is a small fee attached to the autocompound service: JewelSwap will collect part of the rewards as platform fees, since they provide the compounding service for you. - ONE/EGLD: 15% platform fee
- USDC/USDT: 10% platform fee
- LEGLD/EGLD: 10% platform fee
Despite these fees, the APY offered to users is still highly competitive and usually better compared to Farming directly on OneDex without any autocompounding. OneDex currently offers a boosted APR of up to 300% for their ONE/EGLD Farm. If you autocompound that, you easily get well beyond 1000% APY. https://preview.redd.it/n7v69xjjjn4b1.png?width=1272&format=png&auto=webp&s=412456d2d12a732b3d1faf95be4ea72f77fa296b Be aware that APY is not the same as APR and your immediate rewards after 1 day will be essentially the same as if you would have just farmed on OneDex only without any autocompounding. After OneDex’s special 300% APR offer will end, it will return to its previous APR, however thanks to JewelSwaps autocompounding, the APY will still be quite fantastic after the significant drop in rewards. It’s all about capital efficiency, and what else screams capital efficiency more than high-frequency autocompounding. It is astonishing that just a few days after the integration of the ONE/EGLD Farm, more than 40% of the total ONE/EGLD Liquidity on OneDex was already deposited into JewelSwap. The success of the integration is undeniable and one can only imagine what else this new partnership may bring to the users of OneDex and JewelSwap in the near future. Meet the Partners 🤝 About ℹ️ OneDex OneDex Twitter OneDex Telegram OneDex Website OneDex is an innovative AMM based Decentralized Exchange built on MultiversX. Directly accessible on xPortal, OneDex offers easy access to Swaps, Liquidity Pools, Farming, Dual Farming, Staking, Launchpads and soon even Limit Orders, with more to come. About JewelSwap 💎 JewelSwap Twitter JewelSwap Telegram JewelSwap Website JewelSwap is the first pool-based live lending and borrowing dApp built on MultiversX, with features such as EGLD, ASH, USDT, USDC, BUSD lending, NFT mortgages, borrowing EGLD against NFTs, leveraged Farming, high-frequency autocompounding and more to come. Source submitted by ClassicMain to elrondnetwork [link] [comments] |
2023.06.07 22:02 reylomeansbalance Anne Boleyn: The Most Slandered Woman in History
http://under-these-restless-skies.blogspot.com/2013/12/anne-boleyn-most-slandered-woman-in.html She's been called a witch, a
poisoner, an
ambitious tease who used her sexual wiles to dupe a hapless king into giving her a throne. She was called a whore, a heretic, and a traitor. But did Anne Boleyn deserve any of those labels?
What do we know of her, for certain? The answer is "surprisingly little." For one of the most famous women in English history, Anne Boleyn left little documentary traces. We only have a couple of letters that we can confirm for certain were written in her own hand. Most of the reports we have of her conduct as queen comes from extremely biased sources, and scraps of court gossip which may have no factual basis. We have only one single image of her created in her lifetime, a badly damaged portrait medal. Anne Boleyn remains an enigma.
Sometime around 1525 or so, Anne came to Henry's attention. The relationship wasn't recorded at first, so we can't be sure when it began. The court was used to Henry's flirtations, though he's recorded to have only had two mistresses.
Mary Boleyn was one of them, and we're not sure when that relationship began or ended.
Anne was not a great beauty, but she had charm, grace, and wit that far more than made up for her physical shortcomings. She likely had
auburn hair, and brown eyes, which she knew how to use too her advantage.
Lancelot de Carle, a French poet who became the Bishop of Riez (he attended Anne's execution) said her eyes were:
always most attractive which she knew well how to use with effect. Sometimes leaving them at rest and at others, sending a message to carry the secret witness of the heart. And, truth to tell, such was their power that many surrendered to their obedience.
But Anne refused to become the king's mistress. Why did she refuse? Was it because of her ambition, as some say? Or could there have been another
reason?
Anne's initial refusal could not have been to try to force the king to marry her. She wouldn't have expected Henry to put Katharine
aside in favor of her; such a thing was preposterous, and highly unlikely given Spain's power with the Pope. Knowing how her story turned out, we can "armchair quarterback" the events of 1525-1536, but Anne could not have realistically been aiming for a throne when she first turned down the king.
The more likely explanation lies in Anne's religious faith, something that is ignored in most fiction written about her. Anne was a fervent evangelical, passionate about reforming the Catholic church. She was intense in her faith and owned dozens of books on religious subjects. She was a virtuous woman because it was a tenant of her faith, not because she hoped to barter her virginity for power. She was also cognizant of her reputation. Her sister, Mary, had been humiliated by Francis's un-gallant comments about her. Anne did not want to end up the same way as her sister, pawned off on a willing courtier when the king was done with her.
But Henry did not get tired of the pursuit of Anne, as she had likely expected. His interest was also a trap. While he was obsessed with her, no other suitor would try for her hand, fearful of the king's wrath. As poet
Thomas Wyatt wrote:
Noli me Tangere, for Caesar's I am.
Anne's real value in the marriage market plummeted as though she were the mistress of the king in truth. She was called "the Great Whore," the "scandal of Christendom." Even if the king had abandoned his pursuit of her, Anne would never recover her reputation. It was onward and upward, or go home in disgrace, un-marriageable, a burden on her family for life.
In 1527, Henry began seeking an annulment of his marriage to Katharine. Marrying the king became a legitimate possibility. At this point, Anne made real enemies, just by existing.
Eustace Chapuys, who loved Katharine as a personal friend, hated Anne Boleyn so much, he could not bring himself to write her name in his dispatches, referring to her as "the concubine" or "the whore."
It is from Chapuys we get much of what we "know" about Anne Boleyn, and her behavior as Henry's lady-love and queen. Chapuys was eager to report any negative news about Anne, and he painted her actions in the worst possible light. Every word from her mouth and every snippet of gossip he reported was projected through the lens of his disdain for her. Whenever Henry was in a temper, it was because Anne had put him there. Whenever Katharine or Princess Mary was treated harshly, it was because Anne had insisted on it. He reported every quarrel, and watched closely for any evidence her influence was waning.
Despite knowing his bias, historians have - for the most part - taken Chapuys's word for it that these incidents really happened, or the words he reported had the meaning he attributed to them.
One thing that can be stated with almost absolute certainty: Anne Boleyn was not a
murderer. It's alleged that Anne tried to have
Bishop John Fisher poisoned. The Bishop and his household fell ill after a meal, and after an investigation, it was found that the food had been poisoned by a cook,
Richard Roose. Roose allegedly claimed he only intended to make the dinner guests sick, but two people died. Roose was boiled to death, and never named Anne Boleyn or any of her servants as accomplices. It's a horrifying way to go, and if he could have used implicating someone else as a bargaining chip for a lighter sentence, he would have.
The second allegation stems from the
death of Katharine of Aragon. During her embalming, a black growth was found on her heart, which the embalmers thought was sure evidence she had been poisoned. Modern historians believe it was a cancerous growth. There is no reason to believe poison was involved in Katharine's death. She was fifty years old and had been ailing for some time.
The last bit of "evidence" comes from Henry VIII himself. After Anne's arrest, he called for his children to be brought to him, and weeping, embraced them as he said they ought to be grateful that "venomous whore" had not managed to poison them as she intended. But at that point, Henry was willing to say or believe anything it took to rid himself of his wife. Had he truly believed his children were in danger before Anne's arrest, he would have taken action. Instead, he dismissed Mary's claims of illness as hysterical malingering, and was delighted when Katharine finally died.
When Henry set his sights on a young woman in court (we do not know her name) Anne and Jane Parker conspired to have her sent from court. Anne didn't try to poison her. Why would she have taken a risk like that? Especially in the cases of Katharine and Mary, who were watched closely, and protected by their partisans. Anne had to know the likelihood a plot like that would fall apart. Anne might have been many things, but she was not stupid. Being named as someone who tried to kill "Good Queen Katharine" would have destroyed the reputation she was working so hard to build.
So, if we leave aside the uncertain evidence of Anne's activities, what do we have from the documentary evidence of Anne's reign? We know that she was very charitable. The expenses from the queen's privy purse for charity were high. She greatly increased the amount of money put in purses for alms for the poor, sponsored young men to attend universities, paid tuition for impoverished children to attend school, and commanded her ladies in waiting to make shirts for the poor.
Anne wanted her court to be known for its virtue as well as its poetry and music. She was a flirt -she admitted that readily - but she was a pious woman and expected her court to be virtuous, as well. When her sister,
Mary, turned up pregnant from a secret marriage, Anne banished her from court. Various authors have put spiteful motives behind this action, but the simple truth is that Anne could not be seen to support a young woman defying her family in such a way. She later quietly sent her sister much needed money and a gift.
She was a patron of religious scholars and helped to install reformist bishops in high positions within the new English church. When the king dissolved the monasteries, Anne and Cromwell quarreled over the money. Anne wanted it to be used to found schools. He wanted it to go into the king's and nobles' pockets. Guess who won?
We know she argued with the king, as well. This was shocking in an era in which women were supposed to placidly obey the men in their life. Anne was sharply intelligent, and very bold for a woman of her day. While she was the king's lady-love, it was Henry who became the supplicant, Henry who apologized, Henry who begged her not to leave court and go home to Hever. Once they married, it was Anne who begged for attention, who had to be the one to make up for their quarrels. The balance of power shifted fast. Henry expected her to become a submissive wife, and Anne stayed the same girl she had always been.
The king quickly tired of a politically-active, argumentative wife. He wanted a placid, obedient woman at his side, and he found just the perfect one in
Jane Seymour. Anne's fall was swift and brutal. It's telling that even her greatest enemy, Chapuys, didn't believe the charges against her. But the facts were irrelevant. The king wanted Anne dead and she must die to make room for Jane.
It's almost absolutely certain Anne was not guilty of the
crimes of which she was accused. The "evidence" was flimsy at best. On at least twelve occasions in the indictment, she can be proved to be at another location than the one cited, in front of a thousand witnesses. She also swore to her innocence - twice - on the host before her execution. A deeply religious woman like Anne would not have damned her immortal soul by lying in such a manner when she was about to die.
She admitted she had not always been as respectful to the king as she should have been, but nothing more.
Anne Boleyn went to the
scaffold and made the expected speech before the crowd. The crowd fell to its knees when Anne knelt before the swordsman, something that is recorded at no other execution of the time period. It was a show of deep respect for her, and I hope she saw it before the blade fell. She died bravely. She died well.
But the world was not done with Anne Boleyn. Her reputation suffered further slights during her daughter's reign with the work of Nicholas Sander, a Catholic apologist nearly as biased as Chapuys. Sander (or "Slanders" as he has been called by some historians, not without reason) was only ten years old when Anne Boleyn went to the scaffold, and likely never saw her. He described her thus:
Anne Boleyn was rather tall of stature, with black hair, and an oval face of a sallow complexion as if troubled with jaundice. She had a projecting tooth under the upper lip, and on her right hand six fingers. There was a large wen under her chin, and therefore to hide its ugliness she wore a high dress covering her throat.
He included such fanciful details of her reign, such as Anne wearing a dress covered with human tongues with nails through them as a warning to her critics.
It is from Sander that we get the idea Anne had black hair, a convention that has stuck with every actress who has played her in movies or television, with the notable exception of the wonderful
Geneviève Bujold, whose chestnut locks are probably the closest a movie portrayal has had to Anne's real hair color.
In closing, there is no
reason to believe that Anne was vindictive, cruel, malicious, or evil. The documentary evidence points to a woman of strong religious faith, who had a temper, and strong opinions with the guts to voice them. Undoubtedly, her temper led her to say some things she likely regretted, but there's no reason to think she was a bad person. Indeed, what little we have suggests differently.
She still fascinates us, this mysterious woman who changed the world.
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2023.06.07 22:02 mesaywordies Im from a third world country and planning to take the sat i believe i can have a very good mark (1400+) as im top of my highschool in english and pretty good in math and was wondering if purely a good sat score and me being activite in two clubs would be enough to try and get a full scholarship?
for context im 17 and will be 18 in october, i studied at a privateprimary school and at the best middle school in my country but a normal high school. Im racially mixed and nearly top ranked in my city in powerlifting (i heard sports are sought after), the two clubs im in arent particularly famous but ive been voted mvp in them before.
And say i take the august SAT, and get my score after 2weeks then after that what's required of me? do i need to write admission letters to all universities im interested in? do i need a teachers reccomendation? and is it too late to join a bunch more clubs and hope to increase my extracurricular activities? and can i expect a full intership? Without one there's no way i can go to the us
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2023.06.07 22:02 bonkers30 At 3:00 pm airnow.gov
2023.06.07 22:02 Some-Technology4278 How can I tell my friend that he just isn't funny? Can anyone give me any advise?
So we're having a little issue with a friend of ours called Inshal. First I just want to clarify, Inshal has a lot of great characteristics - he's generous, friendly, bubbly and warm - the kind of guy who always has a smile on his face. He's been in our circle of friends for nearly six months now, and I like him, and want to continue being his friend. Now, I'm no comedian, and neither are my friends, like regular people we make jokes when we think of them, shrug it off if it falls flat, and adjust accordingly depending on the audience.
Inshal, however, is really, really unfunny. This wouldn't be an issue were it not for the fact he thinks he's very funny, and so makes bad jokes all the time, & when I say all the time I am not exaggerating. In the five months i've known him I cannot recall a single instance one of his jokes have prompted a genuine laugh in me or anybody else. Now this wouldn't even be an issue either but he does a very hearty & long laugh after every joke that he tells, and he'll do it while staring straight at you. I've learnt how to handle this, when he chooses me to stare at and laugh after his joke I may smile but I'll quickly move on. However, when Inshal meets someone a little more submissive and they make the mistake of politely fake laughing at his joke, he will then direct every single joke to them, awkwardly forcing them to either continue fake laughing at his bad jokes or feel like they're being rude.
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2023.06.07 22:02 deltrontraverse Prepared plans, need suggestions [$50 budget]
Okay, so I need some help.
I'm trying to, on a budget of perhaps $40-50, create prepared meals for one person. I need them to take with me to work via a bento box, so preferably nothing that needs to be unthawed. lol I also need them to be healthy, as I'm trying to lose weight.
Right now, I prepare a chicken breast the day before work. I bake it with some simple seasoning, cut it in half, and then make some vegetables, like broccoli. The chicken, about 3lbs of it, cost me about $7 at Wal-mart, and the small bag of broccoli is about $4. Any other cheap but very healthy things I can buy and prepare for my lunches at work AND for dinner?
Thanks for any help and for reading! :)
Stores near me: Krogers, Wal-mart, ALDI's, and Dollar General
NOTES: I don't know how accurate the information, but assuming it's right, I was told to avoid bread at all costs for weight loss, so I'd like to avoid peanut butter sandwiches etc etc. I also tend to have reactions to bread, makes me have very bad stomach aches. lol
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2023.06.07 22:01 blackbirdbastard Tired of screens
I’m currently a writer (copywriting, blogs, some journalism) and marketer. I’ve been incredibly burnt out for years and got a standing desk, hoping that standing would make me feel better physically and mentally. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case.
I’m looking for something that makes decent money. I make over 6 figures now but would happily take a pay cut down to $60k (I live in a high cost of living area and can’t move due to divorce decree for 10 more years).
I’m highly creative and love making things, but I’m incredibly prone to RSI, even with recommended exercises, so things like embroidery/knitting are out, though I do love using my hands. I’d love to write fiction and I do love science journalism, but that still requires being locked behind a screen all day. I love anything medical-related, especially wilderness medicine (I have the NOLS cert for those who know). I spend a lot of time hiking and learning about plant and wildlife in the places I visit. I’m happiest in nature, especially neaon the water. Unfortunately, park rangers make about half what I need to support my kid and I, and I can’t really swing weekend or late-night hours. I have PTSD as well, and the holiday season is particularly rough for me, so I need low stress or I’ll just burn out.
I’d love some ideas on what other careers I could pursue. I currently work for myself (freelance), so I don’t necessarily need to work for someone else. I am not opposed to working for an employer, but I’m a single mom so I need flexibility.
I do have a Bachelors degree (information and data). I’m really good with numbers and statistics.
So, hit me with your best not-a-desk-job ideas. Some desk time is totally okay, but ideally less than 2 hours/day.
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2023.06.07 22:01 KKshilling Making Your Next Career Move: Avoiding the Trap of False Actualization
| “The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.” – Carl Jung The American culture around work and education emphasizes performance over purpose. Instead of encouraging children to welcome their idiosyncrasies and to deeply embrace the things they find innate joy and talent in, we enforce conformity. Standardized tests, standardized courses, and standardized degrees produce standardized kids who go on to become standardized adults. Over the course of two decades, a spirited child full of creativity and wonder is gone, replaced by a drone that’s proficient in Excel macros. It’s great for a vibrant economy, yet it comes at the expense of individual expression. Nonetheless, our childlike spirit remains in us, trapped under layers of societal conditioning that have drawn us so far away from ourselves that we’ve lost touch with our inborn interests and who we once were. Yet, it pings at us from time to time throughout our young adult lives, and into the depths of our careers. It’s a dull yet persistent sense that something is not quite right. This is a common outcome for many of our culture’s brightest minds. So many of us struggle to find a greater sense of meaning, fulfillment, or validation in our work. Although it feels like we need to attain more to be satisfied, that’s a conflation of the feeling. The ping from our soul that something isn’t right is the dormant child inside of us asking to be let loose. So, how do you avoid the trap of successful-yet-not-fulfilled? How do you design a life that activates the needs and desires you had as a child? How can you think through this intentionally before it’s too late? Using my own career as an example, I’ll walk through a popular model of human needs and describe how to apply it to making more meaningful career decisions. You’ll see how easy it is to fall into the trap of what I call False Actualization. By the end, you’ll have hopefully gut-checked yourself before making the next move down a potentially incorrect career path. And, I hope, find your way back to doing something that speaks to your innermost needs. Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs American psychologist Abraham Maslow is responsible for one of the earliest and most contemplated models for understanding human needs: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It spurred the creation of many other models for meaning since it was first introduced. There’s something about it that hits home, not only with the clinicians in the world of positive psychology but for the average person seeking a framework to understand their feelings of meaninglessness. As such, I’m going to use this model as the centerpiece for demonstrating the prior missteps I made with my own career. First, let’s do a quick refresh of the model. Maslow’s theory attempts to categorize a broad set of human needs and their relative hierarchy to one another and has commonly been visualized as a stacked pyramid (even though Maslow didn’t create such a visualization himself). - Physiological. We first need to fulfill our basic physiological needs that account for our species-level survival, such as food, sleep, and sex.
- Safety. Secondly, we must also feel safe and have conditions that ensure our ongoing safety. This is especially true for children.
- Love. If both the physiological and safety needs are well met, then love, affection, and belonging needs will emerge.
- Esteem. People need a stable, firmly-held, high evaluation of themselves and others. First, we desire strength, achievement, adequacy, independence, and freedom. Then, we desire reputation, prestige, recognition, attention, importance, or appreciation.
- Self-Actualization. Even if all the aforementioned needs are met, some individuals may develop discontent or restlessness about their lives. These individuals need to actualize their unique potential and capabilities.
An essential aspect of Maslow’s theory is that each type of need can occupy a different position in the human psyche at any time. For example, all other needs fade into the background when basic physiological needs are not met, such as a person dying of dehydration or starvation. On the other hand, when all physiological needs are consistently fulfilled, the need for Love or Esteem can take center stage as physiological needs drift into the background of consciousness. https://preview.redd.it/2vch2kpxin4b1.png?width=928&format=png&auto=webp&s=7c12aca72e1900e98aaf56e8ef68b844b16d2220 I like to think of the sequence of needs falling into two broad categories: Survive and Thrive. The bottom of the pyramid houses the essentials for an organism to survive. Above those are the needs that lead to a subjective sense of thriving and fulfillment beyond basic survival. The purpose of this post is to examine the tradeoffs that we make within the zone of thriving as we push deeper into our careers. Applying Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to Your Career We can think of our careers relative to Maslow’s hierarchy. As an example, when we begin our careers, many of us are focused on fulfilling our basic Physiological and Safety needs. When I was 21, I got my first full-time job. It didn’t pay much. I earned $18,000 per year and had $30,000 in student debt. Consequently, survival was a primary need at the forefront of my psyche. I needed to have enough money for rent, food to eat, and enough left over after those needs to slowly chip away at my student loans. The debt overhang felt like a threat to my safety as an organism so getting my net worth out of negative territory was a fundamental safety need for me. Consequently, that became the primary thrust of my career in its early days. After 5 years of working hard and squirreling away money, I managed to pay off my debt and establish some career momentum. That translated into a sense of security, which made room for a new set of needs to take center stage in my psyche during the next leg of my career push. But as my career grew, so too did the demands of the job. In turn, this changed which needs were met, and which were neglected. I call this the demand dimension. While some jobs allow the separation of your work and life into two separate realms, others require a near-complete integration of the two, like being the CEO or an early employee of a growing startup. These are demanding positions that typically make it difficult for your life not to be dominated by work. When I was VP and President at Wealthfront, my Safety and Physiological needs were more than compensated for, and my Esteem needs were met due to the prestige that accompanied the position. However, my Love and Self-Actualization needs were majorly neglected due to soaring career demands. After several years of putting Esteem needs above other needs, I was paying the price spiritually and emotionally. This may look familiar to you: it’s typical for high-achievers entering mid-career. Disproportionately high work demands will come at the expense of your other needs. As Maslow stated, each need may occupy a different position in your psyche at any point in time. It’s essential to understand this attribute instead of thinking that each need on the ladder of needs is a box to be checked. And, once checked, it is perpetually satisfied. That is not the case. Rather, the needs in the hierarchy tend to trade off with one another, especially when one need is heavily emphasized versus the others. Perhaps this is at the heart of why active duty military members have the highest divorce rate of any profession in the country, with a divorce rate twice the national average. Members of the military relinquish many of the freedoms that civilians have and face stressful or traumatizing situations regularly. These situations place significant stress on their relationships. Love, Esteem, and Self-Actualization needs can fall by the wayside in exchange for serving the country. For many high-achievers, the need for respect, admiration, and achievement can swoop in and occupy the psyche once physiological and safety needs are met. However, it’s important to anticipate the unintended consequences of a rapid and primary focus on meeting Esteem needs. I have a very close friend that works in tech who once said, “ I have zero desire to become an executive. It looks awful. I’d like to make it to Director level, at most, and stay there for as long as possible.” I deeply respected this, because it highlighted an approach to a more balanced life. He already felt respected and appreciated at work, and would rather have more space to fulfill his love needs with friends, family, hobbies, and more. His pyramid probably looks something more like this: His career demands are still high, but he stops himself short of demands that consume other aspects of his life. As a result, he’s one of the most emotionally stable and fulfilled friends I know in the technology industry. You, too, can have the same. Unfortunately, within the ultra-competitive tech world, high-achievers are often enticed to keep climbing up and up, only to then fall into disrepair once they realize how many of their other needs beyond Esteem may be neglected. The Trap of False Actualization “You'll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you're doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you'll hear about them.” – Bill Waterson, Cartoonist and Creator of Calvin and Hobbes If you’ve been conditioned over decades to follow linear paths of success, you may be prone to going down a path of achievement that is not your own. Self-Actualization is not the same as achievement. Achievement is typically defined by external measures and expectations from others. Self-actualization, on the other hand, is not measured according to the opinions of others. It is becoming your authentic self and realizing the full spectrum of your unique interests and capabilities. The end result of self-actualization may be external success, but that’s an unintended consequence, not the objective. A child may have natural math ability but not actually enjoy math. Still, their teacher or parents may push them to accelerate further in math simply because they are good at it, or because it’s “necessary for success.” However, that child may be better off in the long run by pursuing literature and writing if those align with the child’s own subjective view of fulfillment and meaning. I fell quite easily into the trap of False Actualization, which is defined as the path to success based on others’ expectations of you, but not what you genuinely want for yourself. I was a straight-A student, went to a great college, built a great career, and made great money. And then I was miserable. That wasn’t the outcome I expected. Eventually, I understood why. I had succeeded over and over again at doing things others expected of me, a pattern that had been internalized from a very early age. Truthfully, I didn’t enjoy a lot of the work I did. Still, I suppressed the unhappiness and continued onward. In colloquial terms, False Actualization means that you’ve climbed to the top of someone else’s ladder. This happens when smart people in Silicon Valley are hellbent on starting a company because that’s the most prestigious thing one can do. It happens when ladder-climbers are determined to become high-ranking high-paid executives without asking “ is this what I truly want?” It’s the continuation of the process of standardizing humans that began early in our lives. I know about this because I have been one of those ladder climbers. At Wealthfront, I was promoted three times in three years. Had I not had a heart attack scare, I would have been on track to be promoted again to CEO — the fourth time in four years. This is a high-achiever on auto-pilot. I was on auto-pilot headed toward false actualization. I said yes to each new role because I didn’t want to disappoint others, and the esteem was compelling. By the end of that long journey, my hierarchy looked like this: I was held in high regard and proud of myself for what I had accomplished, yet I was emotionally, spiritually, and physically bankrupt. Because I went through all of this, I discovered that there is a better way of doing things. Avoid the Path of False Actualization: Find Your Model for Meaning During a recent trip to Northern Thailand, I met a farmer that was a practicing Buddhist. During our conversation, he said something simple but critically important for anyone searching for meaning. “Everyone wants to get to Bangkok. The problem is that people try to follow other people’s roads to Bangkok. You must find your own road to Bangkok.” His catchy metaphor is the antidote to False Actualization. You must spend time carving your own path that provides you with your own internal sense of meaning and fulfillment. Self-Actualization is the output of finding your own way to Bangkok. For one person, meaning may come through manual labor that pays the bills enough that their family is well-fed and secure. For another person, meaning may come from ditching the rat race to set out on their own path in life separate from the masses, which is my chosen path. Others derive a great sense of meaning by being part of a once-in-a-generation company doing inspiring work, happy to play a small part in a purpose they wouldn’t be able to fulfill on their own. The question remains: how do I find my authentic purpose so that I avoid False Actualization? I’ll share my personal process, which I pulled together from various pieces of spiritual wisdom. It involves the following: - Use Spiritual Autolysis to Examine (and Discard) False Beliefs
- Protect the Mind to Avoid Toxic New Beliefs from Entering
- Develop a Practice That Provides the Heartbeat for Your Life
Examine (and Discard) False Beliefs Jed McKenna, the pseudonymous author behind the Spiritual Enlightenment Trilogy, coined the term Spiritual Autolysis. Autolysis in biology means to “digest itself”, so it refers in this context to relentlessly assessing all of your existing beliefs to understand what is true. Ultimately, this is a process to break down and discard old beliefs that are no longer serving you. As Jed McKenna put it: "Here's all you need to know to become enlightened: Sit down, shut up, and ask yourself what's true until you know. That's it. That's the whole deal - a complete teaching of enlightenment, a complete practice. If you ever have any questions or problems - no matter what the question or problem is - the answer is always exactly the same: Sit down, shut up, and ask yourself what's true until you know." Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements also provides a repeatable method for Spiritual Autolysis. I’ve taken the approach laid out in his book and adapted it to this particular challenge: - Understand your beliefs and where they came from
- Practice eliminating those beliefs
- Practice adopting new beliefs
- Try your best every day
To kickstart the autolysis of your beliefs regarding work and building a career, start with the following questions. Pick one, sit down, shut up, and whittle it down until you find what is true. - What is the purpose of a career?
- What does “success” mean in a career?
- How much does money matter to me and what would I use a lot of money for?
- Should I work until I die, or should I not?
- What do I think of the concept of work-life balance?
- What did my teachers often tell me about careers?
- What messages did my parents give me about a career?
- What do careers look like in different parts of the world?
- What have careers looked like at different points in human history?
- What role does a career play in my overall life fulfillment?
- How have my friends influenced my career decisions?
- How have my bosses influenced my career decisions?
When I went through this process, I underestimated the depths of the delusion I was living. The financial insecurity I felt as an adult had its origin in the financial insecurity I felt as a child in a low-income family that went through bankruptcy. This realization helped me shed false beliefs still present in my adulthood that I needed to make more money in order to be safe and secure. Examining, and then discarding, this belief set me free from sacrificing my physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being in pursuit of yet another unnecessary paycheck. I also realized the insanity that is the American ideal around retirement. It was no longer true to me that the American way was the only way to work. Japanese wisdom has a different approach known as Ikigai, which roughly translates to “a reason for being.” Retirement has no place within this ancient system for living a fulfilling life. Carriers of Japanese heritage understood that our lives are cut short when we have no reason for being. Instead of destroying ourselves with overwork until the age of 65 so that we can fall purposelessly into the grave, we can instead find work that satisfies our soul and feels delighted to do so until we take our Big Sleep. These are just a few of the false truths I was able to deprogram myself away from via Spiritual Autolysis. Protect the Mind to Avoid Toxic Beliefs From Entering The second step in my method is about preventing fast food information from entering your mind – which is most of the highly processed information you receive each day. Your mind is already full of many harmful beliefs because you were brought up in a world that indoctrinated you with information before you had awareness and a choice. Whereas Spiritual Autolysis helps break those beliefs down and get rid of them, this next step is about preventing more bad ideas from taking root in your mind. The first step I recommend is getting rid of all junk sources of information. Or, if you can’t get rid of them entirely, use whatever tools are available to filter out most of the noise. For me, that meant all non-work social media and cable TV news had to go. Unless I can hear directly from the source, I ignore the information. Once you’ve limited the firehose of junk food information, continue to listen critically to everything that you hear. There’s a reason I only follow just a few accounts on Twitter. One is an account that posts pictures of dogs, the other is a non-profit that I’m on the board of that helps military veterans, and another is Mike Tyson, who has undergone one of the most beautiful spiritual and emotional transformations in recent history. I try to ignore everything else because, at best, it’s second-hand information. The vast majority of public information has been rinsed, washed, and processed as much as the American diet. To understand what is true for you, you need to create enough space to listen and observe for yourself. Most of what we consume is the noise that prevents us from accessing that signal. Develop a Practice That Provides the Heartbeat for Your Life The life you envision for yourself doesn’t happen because you think hard enough about it. The life you desire unfolds as the result of daily practice. As the psychotherapist Eric Fromm once said, “The first step to take is to become aware that love is an art, just as living is an art... we must proceed in the same way we have to proceed if we want to learn any other art, say music, painting, carpentry, or the art of medicine or engineering." I implemented two types of practices in my life. I call them Type 1 and Type 2 Changes. Type 1 Changes refer to the primary pillars of your life: where you live, the type of work you do, your friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, diet and exercise, sleep, and any other major affiliations such as a religious practice. These are big rocks where new practices may need to be established. Type 2 Changes are the small rocks. These are the incidentals that fill out a daily routine, such as the use of a meditation app for a brief morning meditation, fitness trackers to count daily steps, etc. Most people who are hungry for a change in their life tend to dabble in Type 2 Changes while avoiding Type 1 Changes. This is another big trap. Type 1 Changes have made the largest and most sustained impact on my sense of peace and fulfillment. I moved away from a stressful city. I quit a stressful and unfulfilling career. I dropped old friends that were not supportive of my new life direction. I picked up participation in a 12-steps program so that I could be around others that were working hard to transform themselves. And now I’ve shifted my career focus to helping others after stockpiling enough savings from my prior work. I also use Type 2 tools. I have a habit tracker app that helps me stick to a daily routine to log exercise, sugar, and processed food consumption, morning meditations, nighttime journaling, and pleasure reading. Both types of change are part of my practice. Some are small, daily patterns. Others are monolithic shifts. The magic is found in the combination of both and you must be willing to combine both types of changes if you want a substantial and lasting shift in your overall sense of well-being. Make Your Next Move If you already feel in alignment and fulfilled by your current life, keep it up! But if you’re nodding along while reading, or feeling the ping that something’s not quite right, it may be time for you to listen inward. Take the sabbatical you’ve been putting off over and over again. Carve out time in your schedule to do the creative project that you’ve put on the back burner. Stop seeking career advice from others. Talk to people that live very different lives than you do. Travel to parts of the world where making a lot of money and having high-profile careers aren’t part of the cultural lexicon. Don’t stop until you discover your own road to Bangkok. Charles Bukowski captured the spirit of this best when he said, “Find what you love and let it kill you.” submitted by KKshilling to buildindia [link] [comments] |
2023.06.07 22:01 Free_Gate_4516 Does anyone has tips, how this terrain tool works? I am so frustrated by just two days into terraforming...
So, I finally did it! I got the license from nook to finally be able to build plateaus and rivers! But I am so immensely disappointed about how they work. Its absolutely tidious to get that stupid plateau to look the way I want, but it kinda works. But oh lord - how to actually work with that 🤬 rivertool?! It took me more than 2 hours to build a small, natural looking, 2 squares wide river between two waterfalls (on a maybe 5x5 square). And I am still not done. I keep redoing my work. I know, that the way my character turns, they use their shovel, but, sometimes it works "diagonally" and sometimes not. I try not to stand to far, to break away a whole block, but not to near, to erase the river-block i placed. But it keeps happening. The best part, how my river looked is long gone, because of accidentally shoving back the stupid mud to erase the water, and I am only left frustrated.
And that whole thing happened yesterday, when I unlocked the stuff. I try and map out, but it seems like I do something wrong 😕 and every youtube video I found about terraforming, they just dig twice into the earth and its good to go - no hourlong (yeah, I know, they are edited) do and redo.
So - sorry for the whining. And does anyone has tips, how this could work better?
submitted by
Free_Gate_4516 to
AnimalCrossing [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 21:59 hyperpopdeathcamp FIX THE GAME
I HAVE TILT STICK ON FOUR DIFFERENT NAMES BUT YET IF THE OTHER PLAYERS CONNECTION IS HORSE SHIT ITS JUST MAGICALLY SMASH STICK AGAIN OKAY WORD GOT IT THIS GAME PLAYS LIKE IT WAS DEVELOPED BY CHILD LABORERS THAT WERE PAID $0.65 AN HOUR OR LIKE THEY PURCHASED THE DEVS OFF OFF OF SHEIN OR SOME SHIT.
“I see you pressed ZR to shield. How about a jump?? 🥺🥺🥺 or better yet… nothing at all 😸😸😸”
FUCK YOU WHAT EVEN IS THAT!?!? IVE NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED BUMPER JUMPERS WHAT IS THIS IM SO CONFUSED. P2P MY ASS THIS IS SOME TRUE DOOKIE. THIS SOME LIKE DONKEY WIFI BRO THE SERVERS ARE ALL IN THE SWAMP ONG. THERES LITERALLY JUST A GUY WATCHING EVERY QP MATCH EVER AND HES SUPPOSED TO LIKE MAKE SURE ITS ALL GUCCI BUT LITTLE DO PEOPLE KNOW HE ACTUALLY SHOTGUNNED HIMSELF IN THE FACE MERE WEEKS AFTER KAZUYAS RELEASE BUT NO ONE NOTICED BECAUSE NO ONE WHO MADE THIS GAME CARED ABOUT ANY OF IT IN THE FIRST PLACE SO HES JUST THERE SITTING LIFELESS IN FRONT OF 3000 SCREENS OF DK CARGO THROWING MFS OFF STAGE IN LAG
“Hey so like your opponent just stood there for three full minutes, but I noticed your controller disconnected for 3 seconds so have an hour ban 🫶”
SUCK ME. SUCK ME TO DEATH YOU FUCKERS. WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN THAT!?!?!???!!!?),?!,$;!,??!!?8???!
ON MY MAMA I WILL SET MYSELF ON FIRE SOMEWHERE IN JAPAN VAGUELY NEAR SAKURAIS HOUSE AND JUST SCREAM TAKE THIS TAKE THIS TAKE THIS TAKE THIS TAKE THIS UNTIL IM A SMOLDERING HEAP IDGAF IF IT ACCOMPLISHES ANYTHING IM JUST ON ONE RN SMASH ULTIMATE? MORE LIKE SMASH NOT VERY GOOD AT ALLTIMATE YOU FUCKERS. YOU FUCKING FUCKERSSSS.
/s
……Unless?
submitted by
hyperpopdeathcamp to
SmashRage [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 21:59 Esoteric_Nobody Honest feedback 🤷♂️
Had this phase where I fucked every woman who would fuck me made me feel disgusting. When Id touch someone I'd take something from them in me, I guess that I was empty Now when I love someone they become part of me, even if they're missing. I don't hate women I just think they're all shifty That prejudice was put in me Abused or neglected by women that were sposed to care for me But I'm just a man so my problems don't mean nothing I've been healing I'd do damn near anything for another chance to be with you But that's not what you wanna hear You want me to be fine, you wanna know I'll make it through You want me to be focused on anything but you Move on and cut you loose An all of that I could do all I'd have to do is choose But I just have this feeling that on same day that I do You'll turn around and realize you just wanted me too And I don't wanna do that to you Yea I know your daddy was a dead beat, I know he hurt you Maybe you were worried that I'd be like him too Cuz I didn't go to school and music's what I wanna do Maybe cuz I started slipping when I was staying with you But deep down I think you know that that would never be true I'd always be there for you and any family that we grew You'd all be my whole world and that's the plain honest truth Maybe we're both just young and have some growing to do And we'll find each other again later on down the route The future mother of my children and a partner through and through Just know that's what I saw every time I looked at you I'm not writing this in an attempt to force you I adore your free spirit never wanted to control you I just think there's something special here if we were to follow through I'm presenting you the option in hope that you WANT to The only way to heal this generational disease Is for someone who's been hurt to just take it on the cheek Believe those people won't make the shit repeat And give love even though there's now pain in-between Give Grace and the face of betrayal and disgrace Know that when you love someone they can never be replaced Treasure those people do anything it takes Know that we're all stupid humans who're bound to make mistakes
submitted by
Esoteric_Nobody to
offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 21:59 Esoteric_Nobody Honest feedback 🤷♂️
Had this phase where I fucked every woman who would fuck me made me feel disgusting. When Id touch someone I'd take something from them in me, I guess that I was empty Now when I love someone they become part of me, even if they're missing. I don't hate women I just think they're all shifty That prejudice was put in me Abused or neglected by women that were sposed to care for me But I'm just a man so my problems don't mean nothing I've been healing I'd do damn near anything for another chance to be with you But that's not what you wanna hear You want me to be fine, you wanna know I'll make it through You want me to be focused on anything but you Move on and cut you loose An all of that I could do all I'd have to do is choose But I just have this feeling that on same day that I do You'll turn around and realize you just wanted me too And I don't wanna do that to you Yea I know your daddy was a dead beat, I know he hurt you Maybe you were worried that I'd be like him too Cuz I didn't go to school and music's what I wanna do Maybe cuz I started slipping when I was staying with you But deep down I think you know that that would never be true I'd always be there for you and any family that we grew You'd all be my whole world and that's the plain honest truth Maybe we're both just young and have some growing to do And we'll find each other again later on down the route The future mother of my children and a partner through and through Just know that's what I saw every time I looked at you I'm not writing this in an attempt to force you I adore your free spirit never wanted to control you I just think there's something special here if we were to follow through I'm presenting you the option in hope that you WANT to The only way to heal this generational disease Is for someone who's been hurt to just take it on the cheek Believe those people won't make the shit repeat And give love even though there's now pain in-between Give Grace and the face of betrayal and disgrace Know that when you love someone they can never be replaced Treasure those people do anything it takes Know that we're all stupid humans who're bound to make mistakes
submitted by
Esoteric_Nobody to
offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 21:59 VTOnReddit Struggling to get CCTV System Working Correctly
In late 2016 we spent over $20k to have a surveillance system installed with a Seneca server, 4 12MP 360 cameras, and Milestone XProtect. The plan was to add more cameras yearly, up to a minimum of 12 and maximum of 30.
We liked the user interface of Milestone, but trying to use it remotely was useless. Using it in the server room, the video was always super choppy.
Eventually we find out the issue is the video card of the server can’t really handle playing the video it’s recording. But the company we had initially used, was trying to convince us we needed a whole new system, because supposedly our server didn’t meet the requirements for the newest version of XProtect.
I thought that was bullshit, so I have been trying the DIY route. Using a Synology rack and surveillance station.
Originally our cameras were on a separate network, not directly connected to the internet. Synology couldn’t get that to work and made me connect them to the internet.
Still have tons of issues viewing footage, downloading footage, and having the cameras stay connected.
The dewarping on Surveillance Station sucks, and makes the 360 cameras more hassle than they’re worth.
Kind of at a loss as to what to do. Have wasted a year of my life (not constantly trying) working to get this system up and usable.
Just viewed footage with the police of an incident, and the footage is all blurry and nearly worthless.
Any ideas? I was thinking about trying to buy a new version of XProtect myself, and maybe getting a new server too.
submitted by
VTOnReddit to
videosurveillance [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 21:58 VTOnReddit Struggling to get CCTV System Working Correctly
In late 2016 we spent over $20k to have a surveillance system installed with a Seneca server, 4 12MP 360 cameras, and Milestone XProtect. The plan was to add more cameras yearly, up to a minimum of 12 and maximum of 30.
We liked the user interface of Milestone, but trying to use it remotely was useless. Using it in the server room, the video was always super choppy.
Eventually we find out the issue is the video card of the server can’t really handle playing the video it’s recording. But the company we had initially used, was trying to convince us we needed a whole new system, because supposedly our server didn’t meet the requirements for the newest version of XProtect.
I thought that was bullshit, so I have been trying the DIY route. Using a Synology rack and surveillance station.
Originally our cameras were on a separate network, not directly connected to the internet. Synology couldn’t get that to work and made me connect them to the internet.
Still have tons of issues viewing footage, downloading footage, and having the cameras stay connected.
The dewarping on Surveillance Station sucks, and makes the 360 cameras more hassle than they’re worth.
Kind of at a loss as to what to do. Have wasted a year of my life (not constantly trying) working to get this system up and usable.
Just viewed footage with the police of an incident, and the footage is all blurry and nearly worthless.
Any ideas? I was thinking about trying to buy a new version of XProtect myself, and maybe getting a new server too.
submitted by
VTOnReddit to
videosurveillance [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 21:58 cogito_ergo_subtract A request from a city-subreddit moderator regarding the upcoming changes
I'm not a mod of a large subreddit. But I am a mod, and I am impacted by these changes.
Let me start by saying I still have my t-shirt from the Rally to Restore Sanity sitting in my closet. So I'm not exactly new to Reddit.
I don't exaggerate when I say that Reddit changed my life. I moved to Amsterdam from Los Angeles for my job. I didn't speak a word of Dutch, and knew nobody in the city. Feeling a bit lonely, on a lark, I went on
/Amsterdam and tried to organize an outing to go find the best pizza. From there I organized other meetups, to go on a canal trip, to various bars, and so on. I became a moderator of
/Amsterdam, and have been one ever since. We used to run at least one meetup a month, and had people travel from all over Europe to join us for Global Reddit Meetup Day. We even tried to get the admins to join us -- we sent the Admin team some Dutch gifts and snacks along with an invitation to join us. Through
/Amsterdam, I found my closest friends. Last month I gave a speech at a wedding. The groom was a friend I met on Reddit. The officiant was a friend we met on Reddit. Almost half the attendees were part of the larger
/Amsterdam community, some of whom no longer even lived near Amsterdam but still held such a strong connection to one another because of what happened on Reddit. I've traveled to other countries with my Reddit friends. When my job took me to London for a few months, the first thing I did was go to
/LondonSocialClub, where I was instantly welcomed. My time in London was delightful because I had a ready group of Redditors to hang out with and see the city.
I would not be who I am had I not posted on
/Amsterdam. I am a better person for the people I met here, and I will always be grateful for it.
kn0thing, ten years ago, summed it up: "Facebook makes me hate the people I know, and Reddit makes me love the people I don't."
When I became a moderator of
/Amsterdam, we were around 4,000 subscribers. Today we're almost 230,000. That's still nothing compared to the default subreddits, but it's not exactly niche. As the subscriber count has grown and Reddit has grown, the complexity of moderating has not scaled linearly. It took more than a year for our first-ever ban. Now we have to ban multiple people a week, sometimes many in a single day. Moderation has become more difficult as Reddit goes to the masses and rolls out features like chat for subreddits. We've gone through waves of harassment, brigades, and an endless stream of insults in modmail, direct mail, and chat. Sometimes I put off opening up Reddit because I don't want to read another message attacking me for my tyranny in deleting a racist post. When we are brigaded or when people make multiple accounts to deliver as many attacks in modmail as they can in an hour, I think seriously about quitting. Several of my fellow mods have quit over the past few years, because they simply didn't see it was worth their time to take that punishment.
I haven't quit though, and that's because I love Reddit, and because Reddit changed my life.
We have had a deal for the past decade and change. I and other mods devote our labor to making Reddit a better place, and we do it without compensation, and without recognition. We do this out of love. In turn, Reddit provides us with as much space as we need to get the job done. In our case, and in the case of many mods, that space has come in the form of the API. When I first started moderating, I learned enough Python to build a bot on the API to help us moderate. Today we use some standard bots, RES, and mobile apps to do the job. I get more done in ten minutes with Apollo than I can get done in an hour in the official app. It's not always been clean or easy, but it's worked, and it's been part of the unique flavor of Reddit, each subreddit coming together with their own hacky solutions to problems, learning from one another.
It seems Reddit has decided to change this deal, out of the idea that
"Reddit needs to be fairly paid". Ok, I get the sentiment. But let's consider who isn't paid here. Reddit is the only social media company that relies on unpaid moderators. Facebook employs fifteen thousand moderators, with substantial press scrutiny over their working conditions. Before Twitter was bought out, it employed fifteen hundred moderators, and post-acquisition, there's no shortage of criticism that the lack of moderators has diminished the quality of the platform.
There are ways to be "fairly paid" other than in cash, and the way I felt that I was fairly paid was in getting the psychic benefit of making Reddit a better place through my work. What Reddit has said with these pricing changes is that it wants to unilaterally revoke the things that made Reddit beautiful, and make the experience of moderating worse. We now have to (indirectly) pay exorbitant fees to use the tools that allow us to do our jobs. We now have to quit using the tools that allow us to give our own spin on moderating. I don't know how I'll moderate next month. And I don't know if I'll have any desire to do so next month. Reddit is increasing my costs, decreasing my benefits, and blaming
iamthatis for it.
/Amsterdam will be going dark on 12 June. My request to the admins is that they come to their senses before they do permanent damage to something I, and so many mods, truly love.
submitted by
cogito_ergo_subtract to
ModSupport [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 21:56 Alphiimii I stopped biting my nails suddenly.
Not completely sure if this belongs in this subreddit but not sure where else to post it. My issues with nail biting and skin biting is related to my ADHD as it worsens when I am unmedicated and is also a fidget for me.
So for some background, I have been biting my nails for as long as I can remember. When I was 10 it turned into biting the skin around my nails and even on other parts of the finger. The compulsions were due to trying to tidy up my skin around the nail. I would chew hangnails off and tear back pieces of skin that were uneven. In the end this just makes it worse, and it was a cycle I couldn't break. Often though, I didn't even realize I was doing it. I made attempts to stop by using nail polish or using other things but it didn't make an impact and almost made it worse. It made biting my nails/chewing my fingers more of a goal and reward for me. Eventually I gave up and have been living with it for years now. It slowly got less obsessive over the years but it was still something I always did. My nails were never able to grow or have any white on the tip. I had accepted the fact I would just always have this issue.
Then, a week or two ago, I stopped biting my nails. No, I didn't use something nasty to deter me or try other things to make a conscience effort to stop. I simply.. just stopped. It was so jarring the day it happened. The nail on my right ring finger had the tiniest sliver of white on its tip. Meaning, usually I would see that and have such a desire to rip the end of the nail off with my teeth. It should've gave me such pleasure to bite it off, except I didn't. I saw that nail and something in my head shifted.
Nothing clicked exactly, but instead of obsessing about biting it off I ran my teeth under the nail. Every time I had thought about the nail I would just run my teeth under it getting some of the dead skin there and trying to keep it clean. I lost almost all of my compulsion to bite it off almost immediately. Instead, my compulsions shifted to where I was running my teeth under all of my nails. It was like I was now obsessing over keeping them clean and allowing them to grow. There were a few times where I would tear the slightest bit of nail off, but it was so small it was unnoticeable.
After I did this for a few days the rest of my nails slowly started growing and having more white on the tip and the rest is history. I haven't bitten my nails in any way that has majorly impacted them since. I might nibble but I won't take any huge or measurable chunks out of them. My nails are at the longest they've ever been rn and it makes me so happy. Seeing the white on the tips of my nails feels like such a huge accomplishment and that feeling only grows with them. I still bite the skin around my nails but not nearly to the degree before. That compulsion has always been due to trying to keep the skin neat and tidy, and the more I refrain from stripping the skin the tidier it gets. Just like I now do with my nails, if I have the compulsion I just try to barely nibble on them and switch to pushing back my cuticles, which is fine.
I would contribute part of this switch in compulsions to the Vyvanse I have been taking consistently for the past few weeks. It allowed me to focus on things other than my nails and reduce my fidgeting with them to a point where they were allowed to grow the slightest bit before I noticed. That little sliver of white on my nail was all I needed that day to stop. I have been pondering the situation ever since and I cannot wrap my mind around how I did it. It truly is insane what happened that day and I do not know how it occured. I don't know what I did to have that shifted mentality or obsession, but it was the only thing in my years of living that has worked. I easily could have relapsed within the first few days but having another compulsion related to my fingers helped immensely.
I hope this post might be helpful to those dealing with similar issues and provide some hope for their situation. Feel free to ask any questions.
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Alphiimii to
ADHD [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 21:56 matyles Incredibly humid morning in the mountains
| Thought this overcast day would be a nice break from the beating summer sun. I was wrong, the humidity nearly took me out. Only ran a 5k but was sweating like I just ran for hours. At least it's gorgeous! submitted by matyles to trailrunning [link] [comments] |