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I have to be defeated, ah, not defeated is not a waste of my parents' talent to make money?" Hong Dali said so, but inside he was playing other calculations. The only lucky thing about crossing over to this broken body that blows in the wind is that you also get a "big loser" system at the same time. As long as he loses his family, he can improve his body functions, say goodbye to the crutches as ... Read Rebirth Of The Godly Prodigal - Chapter 163 - MangaPuma. Read more at https://mangapuma.com/rebirth-of-the-godly-prodigal/chapter-163

There is a popular term in human language that has undergone transformative meanings over the years. The word is ‘privilege’. In principle it meant something that was ‘earned’. But through time the word came to mean simply a form of advantage, whether earned or unearned, that made life easier. Often this is closely tied to nepotism. William Walker is a very talented engineer with contacts needed to build a team to success. I have a fortune that dwarfs even wealthy humans. I know William, so naturally I turn to him. Fauve now has ties to an extensive media outlet, and Bonny Red has ties through the retired Admiral Archer to the upper echelons of the Terran military, many of which came up under him.
Similarly, I am known to my world’s ambassador to Earth, a message from me will garner attention.
In short, take one random person of few means from off the street and ask him to start a fighting league and an exhibition of joint forces capabilities for the senior leaders of two worlds militaries… and that person will have little to no luck.
But for me it was a simple stop by Fauve’s room, a request for Bonny Red to reach out to Admiral Archer, and a digital message to my world’s Ambassador… oh and a quick conversation with Genghis and a message to Byron.
Then as the humans say, the ball would start rolling.
“So you really want to try this?” Bonny Red asked.
“Same question. That seems… too wild.” Teresa said over the digital meeting screen.
“I think it sounds incredicool.” Fauve asserted. We were sitting around a table in a very small conference room meant for meetings with senior officers, and I’d just pitched the idea for a ‘demonstration’ of how our forces had been operating on the ground for the higher ups, followed by a fighting tournament featuring the greatest warriors of both our species, done in two person teams with nonlethal intent.
“Is that really the best idea now though? I mean, I agree, this would be a huge seller. People love fights. But do we really want to show more violent dlamisa tearing into humans on livestream?” Teresa asked. “It might raise some uncomfortable concerns.”
“If the teams are mixed, then it’s like Ballyball but bloodier. Look at the league how it is now.” I pointed out and tapped the screen to bring up the projections.
“Oh look, I’m a favorite.” Bonny Red said and wagged her tail. The projection in question was of fan favorite teams and players, human and dlamisa players were widely critiqued and many had their own ‘fanclubs’ with wikis, fan pages, fan fiction, an uncomfortable amount of it pertaining to various human mating practices from the banal to the impossible…
But more importantly the metadata in searches involved very little ‘hatred’. If anything the effective destruction of the Earth First’s reputation was heavily influenced by the idea that people would lose their favorite alien players.
In short, competition created popularity.
The merchandise sales were another matter. There were a disturbing number of requests for ‘Bonny Red Body Pillows’, though to her credit she laughed at the request to model for it. Though she did not mind the royalties she got from the sales when it kept selling out.
But that was for a different presentation. For now I had to focus on the moment. “Since the Silent Civil War is entering its public stage, it’s safe to say that the wider forces will be doing most of the dirty work. Raids won’t be that common, and between the security forces at the embassy and the sailors of the Red Spark, and the military forces that are here in support or escort?” I could not stop my tail from wagging.
“We do not not need a large organization to start. Fifty of each will do. We can do it individually, then pair them off in teams. And make a special invitation to the fleet Admirality and ground forces. I have no doubt that it will impress them.”
Teresa’s doubtful expression started to fade, but it wasn’t hard to see that she was also calculating the money to be made.
“It’s the sort of thing gamers love.” Fauve pointed out. “Everybody loves the ‘who would win in a fight’ question. It would be easier to market this right than it would be to do it wrong, which is a nice change. Besides, it’ll give the special units something to do, and that’s always a good idea. There’s a lot of people who are ashamed of Earth right now, aren’t there?” Fuave asked, and Teresa winced.
The ‘Earth First’ movement’s plans to exterminate the dlamisans and their host families was seen as a global shame that put a stain on the planet’s reputation as well as a threat to national security, and Teresa knew it.
“Give people something to be proud of, to be vocally not one of those bastards who tried to kill me.” Fauve leaned forward and sounded the last words out with great slowness.
Teresa had Fauve as an assistant and protege for a while now, and I daresay that the woman considered Fauve more like a younger sister than an employee, the gunshot to the hologram of Fauve’s head, I assume, caused ample distress.
“I can special event easily enough.” Teresa acknowledged, “But merchandise, promotion, that all costs money.”
“Which I happen to have.” I pointed out. “I’m offering to partner with you for this.” I explained to Teresa, “I’ll foot the whole bill, you handle the promotions, handle the paperwork to create it. I’ll put it under the Ballyball League administration. And handle the other ‘incidentals’ along the way. Such as making sure players can get visas and the right exposure to make them popular.”
Finding out that her financial burden was all but eliminated, Teresa perked right up. “I’ll have some promotional materials made in short order and send some special tickets through the right channels.”
“I’ll make sure that they know that Reginald strongly requests they accept the offer.” Bonny Red added, “And I’ll ask the crew to volunteer.” The fact that she was being so formal was indicative to me as to how seriously she took this. And frankly it was a relief. Not that I dislike her pirate persona… but it is just a little bit much when it is every hour of every day.
I could go on and on about the trivial details, finding volunteers, making requests, scheduling the venues and just… all the things. But has anyone ever written a gripping epic about logistics and scheduling? No. Of course it’s vital to do these things.
But for the sake of the narrative, it is enough for you to know that it was both very dull, and it was done.
Not to trivialize it, I spent twenty million credits, Teresa’s company spent five million, and it would have been more except that she outright owned enough that she only had to slow some other projects down.
More interestingly, I was present with Bonny Red when she got a live communication.
“Reginald!” She shouted when an old gray man came on the screen. He wasn’t what he used to be, I was sure of that. But he still seemed rather spry, his eyes clear and focused, he gave a toothy smile at the pirate Captain.
“Ahoy ther.” He said and gave a shaky wave of his hand.
“Arr, ther be old age on the horizon, turn about an sail fer another shore!” Bonny Red said and wagged her tail while the old man laughed.
“Well that’s a fine faretheewell. And here I was just callin to tell ye that I made sure they got yer boomboom buddy’s invite, an the young crackerjack went an said he’d be happy to attend, he’s even made sure that Grand Admiral Musashi has agreed to join him as part of his ‘tour’. Once the bombings are done.” I wasn’t surprised by Reginald Archer’s casual tone.
The previous generation of fleet admiralty and starship crews was a lot closer to being pirates themselves than the current crop, now that humans had more experience under their belts, the tide of regulations had rolled in forever.
But…? “I’m sorry? Boomboom buddy?!” I stuck my head over in front of the screen.
The old man cackled. “Ah, it was that or horndog.”
“The other one will be fine.” I exhaled heavily as the old bastard laughed again. I couldn’t be too annoyed. It made Bonny Red happy, and besides, from what I knew of the former Captain Archer, he was something of an eccentric. If you’ve ever felt the desire to correct an eccentric, let me advise you to give up. You may as well argue with gravity during a fall.
“Aye, thankee fer yer aid old friend, now ye make sure ye stay livin long enough to go see the match too! I got me a right good crop ah crew ready fer ye to see in action again. We’re not as big as them big lummox, but we scouts are survivors fer reasons other than our pretty fur!” She ran her hand down over her furry form and wagged her tail while the old man cackled.
“I’m sure. Listen’ere, I’m not dead yet, I’ll enjoy the show an wish ye much success in all that ye be tryin to do!” He winked, a clever old man, he probably figured this wasn’t just a business venture by her companion.
“Thankee!” Bonny Red exclaimed, and killed the link at the same moment he did.
“Alright laddy, we mighta rushed this one a wee bit but…” She paused what she said and then tapped the screen showing the latest news.
“Forty two drone strikes eliminated two thousand extremists who escaped pickup, according to current information, their goal was to attack the nearby research center where a group of demihuman volunteers were donating blood and genetic material to research human longevity and study prewar techniques in genetic manipulation…” On screen the drones hit in rapid succession, slamming into reinforced concrete and then with drill models, digging deep into the ground before detonating.
“Treat them well or crush them completely.” Bonny Red said matter-of-factly.
“I’m sorry?” I asked, I didn’t take her meaning.
“A long time ago, matey, after I took an interest in humans, I got a bunch of their cultural data, bein me an all, I studied their strategists and thinkers, one of em, a guy named Macky-somethin, he said that. Basically he said you either treat someone so good that they like ye. Or ye crush them so completely that they can never take any kinda revenge. Humans it seems, are goin with the crush’n route.”
“I doubt the xenophobes ever saw this kind of response coming. They didn’t appreciate how important it was for the planet for them to get along with their neighbors. They pushed their ‘edgyboy games’ much too far.” I said with a snort of derision. Much as I like humans in general, there’s some you can’t make peace with, that won’t live and let live, and for whom peaceful dissent is just a wait until they can do the violence they desire. These were that sort.
I felt no pity for them, except for the sort the wise man feels for the fool who is bound by their foolishness to not learn from their mistakes.
“Aye.” She said and cycled through the video channels detailing the news, more of it was coming out every day now, and the term ‘Silent Civil War’ was gaining traction in the public mind just as the silence started to die. “They wanted to be hell’s own heroes, but instead, they’re just the ink the friendship treaties are signed in. The Grand Admiral is no fool, he or his staff. He’ll see that,” she said and pointed to the vaporized remains of a building, “and realize what he’s dealing with. An if his reputation holds… he’ll like it. It an all we’ve got to show him.”
She cracked her knuckles as she anticipated what lay ahead.
And I have to admit, I too could hardly wait.

In the heart of New London, amid the biting cold, the gurgling steam pipes and the towering tenements, a weary engineer named Dr. Arthur Harwood laboured tirelessly in the First Workshop. A once-renowned scientist and inventor from Cambridge University, Dr. Harwood had been one of the brightest minds of his generation, a pioneer in the field of robotic automation. But now, relegated to the role of a mere craftsman, he toiled away in a dimly lit assembly room with a handful of other lost souls, crafting prosthetic limbs for those who had fallen victim to the merciless frostbite that plagued the city.
The First Workshop was a veritable menagerie of mechanical marvels, from the high-powered steam cores in various levels of repair, to intricate fabricators that could churn out the essential glow worm electrical lights that each citizen was instructed to wear when they left their homes, to replacement parts for the Silver Scot, the city's last remaining automaton.
As Dr. Harwood worked, his fellow engineers laboured alongside him, their once-brilliant minds reduced to mere cogs in the great machine that was the Glorious City of New London. There was the intrepid Dr. Leonard Macdonald, once a famous theorist of electromagnetism hailing from Oxford, and the ambitious American fluidic systems engineer Dr. Elizabeth Conley. Among them was also Dr. Percevel Leclair, a French astrophysicist with a long history of dabbling in robotics, and Professor Heinrich Schmidt, a German scientist who had once been hailed as the father of modern steam power. Together, they formed a motley core of a crew of New London’s finest intellects, bound together by their shared indignation at the demeaning work that had been thrust upon them.
After periodic demonstrations in the Central District organized by the working class of New London, the engineers of the First Workshop were surprised to watch the Brotherhood of the New Order sanction a series of meetings with Major Wilkins to revise the colony’s labour policy. There were celebrations in the street when the Mad Captain announced that the fourteen-hour workshifts that had persisted since the city’s founding would be reduced to a more tolerable ten hours a day. The engineers, traumatized by the draconian rule of the New Order, took heart that perhaps the months of emergency conditions were coming to an end.
It seemed the Wilkins administration could hew to reason, if only enough citizens could come together to demand it. Conversations ran long in the First Workshop and at the pub after hours about how even with the reduction of work hours, the people of New London were working themselves to death without a single day of rest. Conversations with the medics at the infirmary only confirmed their worries, as they counted the number of work accidents and deaths of despair and realized they were ticking up. Besides this, the engineers loudly criticized City Hall for misappropriating their unique talents in their mission to survive.
But the proposals of further reform by Dr. Harwood and the other engineers were swiftly crushed when the Wilkins administration announced at a morning roll call that talk of further protests had been noted by the secret informers of the New Order. He told everyone gathered there that there would be no further reduction in work hours; the city did not have the population yet to sustain it. Furthermore, they would all do well to not balk at any of the sawdust food additives in their soup that week. Angered, but also deeply concerned for the colony, Dr. Harwood, Dr. Macdonald, and Dr. Conley took their grievances to the Propaganda Centre that day after their maintenance work of the formidable Silver Scot was completed.
Dr. Macdonald, a tall and lanky man with wiry glasses and a perpetual frown etched upon his face, had drafted the formal inquiry, detailing their grievances and their hope for a more equitable work environment. He led the delegation down Coal Street one afternoon, the long windy Arctic night hiding any sign of the passage of time, and marched bravely into the looming Propaganda Centre, its awesome exterior and red banners striking fear into their chilled bones. It had been some time since either of them had entered the building, as to do so without permission by the Guards was an easy way to end up on a watch list. Dr. Harwood gulped heavily, then pulled back the imposing double-reinforced steel door to let his peers take the first steps inside.
Upon entering the lobby of New London’s Propaganda Centre, the engineers were met with silent stares from the guards posted besides the front desk, who gripped their bayoneted rifles with the seriousness of the King’s Guard. The three dusted off the snow on their boots and Dr. Macdonald tried not to gawk at the dazzling sight of the administration’s clerks, Ms. Abigail Green and Ms. Megane Black, beautiful and poised in old world work dresses, their nails painted red and their hair in good fashion, seeming to flaunt their comfortable working conditions.
Dr. Macdonald, his voice wavering slightly, stepped forward slowly, saying, “We, your humble fellow citizens from the First Workshop, have taken it upon ourselves to provide a statistical analysis and series of practical recommendations to help inform the policy choices of the city administration.” He brought the sheaf of papers that was the First Workshop’s inquiry to the secretaries’ desk, his eyes pleading for understanding.
The two clerks, however, seemed to regard the engineers' request with scorn, their faces twisted into mocking sneers as they scanned the first page. They exchanged derisive glances, then Ms. Green dropped the sheaf unceremoniously onto a stack of papers beside her. She turned to their leader, her voice dripping with disdain.
"Good sir, do you truly believe that your pitiful pleas will be heard by our esteemed Major Wilkins?" she asked, her eyes narrowing. "You should be grateful for the work you have been tasked to complete by the New Order. Many are not so fortunate to work all day indoors under a steam vent."
The engineers’ faces flushed with anger and humiliation. Ms. Green reached for a dreaded clunky switch behind her, which would instantly trigger the facility’s radiogram, summoning more guards of the City Watch. The men on either side of the front desk watched with bated breath. The threat was clear: any further dissent would be met with swift retribution. Dr. Harwood’s courage failed and he turned hastily for the door. His two coworkers muttered apologies and they departed.
The following day, as they returned to their workshop, they found their workspace patrolled by stern-faced guards from the City Watch. The engineers surpassed their daily production quota of prostheses and made significant headway on finishing their blueprints for enhancements to the Generator’s overdrive couplings. Yet, their disgruntled conversations only continued late at night in the alleyways behind the pub. Dr. Leclair and Dr. Schmidt were oblivious to the three’s lackluster behavior at the Propaganda Centre. Meanwhile, Dr. Macdonald and Dr. Conley blamed Dr. Harwood in private for not standing strong in their convictions.
One evening, as Dr. Harwood and his colleagues made their way home through the frosted streets of New London, they discovered a pamphlet in the snow, only one side disfigured by a wet boot. The paper was coarse and the typewritten text faded: it was clearly the result of an illegal printing press somewhere in the city. The pamphlet spoke of revolution, of overthrowing the New Order and the Wilkins administration, to forge a new, better future for the people of New London. The engineers were not alone in their continued discontent!
The engineers gathered in secret that night at a cousin’s bunkhouse at the cold side of the Steamshires, their voices a low murmur as they debated what to do with the incendiary literature. Dr. Macdonald, his eyes alight with a newfound fire, urged his colleagues to consider joining the rebellion, to fight for the rights and dignity that had been stripped from them.
"We have been silenced for far too long," he declared, his voice trembling with passion. "If we do not stand up against the injustices that have been heaped upon us, who will? Are we to remain mere cogs, our lives and dreams ground to dust beneath the heel of the Mad Captain?”
Others, however, were more cautious, their eyes darting nervously to the shadows that seemed to press in around them. Dr. Conley’s cousin, a stout soldier-cum-miner by the name of Geoffrey, spoke up, his voice trembling with fear.
"Leonard, I understand your frustration," he began, his eyes pleading for understanding. "But we have families to consider, friends to protect. Do you truly believe that joining this rebellion will make things better? Or will it only bring more suffering upon us all?"
The engineers continued to argue amongst themselves, their voices growing louder and more heated with each passing moment. Dr. Conley disagreed with her cousin and was eager to throw their lot in with the rebels. Their two European colleagues also were impatient to fight for a brighter future. Dr. Harwood remained steadfast in his belief that the price of rebellion was simply too high; they'd already seen what had happened to poor Thomas Winslow’s uprising, to say nothing of the night of terror during the Great Storm at the Battle of the Scaffolds.
As the debate raged on, the young Dr. Conley stepped forward, her eyes bright with determination. "We cannot allow simple fear to dictate our actions," she declared, her voice clear and strong. "Yes, there is risk in joining a rebellion. But there is also risk if we let Mad Bill work the entire colony to death! If we do not fight, who will, and when? We have no time to waste."
Her words seemed to strike a chord within the hearts of the engineers, and as they stood there, huddled together in the darkness, they made a silent vow to one another. A spark had been lit. And as the engineers returned to their labors the next morning, their hearts burned with newfound purpose.
The next night, their discussions took a different turn as they met with hushed voices at the snowblown far corner of St. George’s Square. The question to be resolved moved towards whether to make an attempt to contact existing rebels or wait for the rebels to make another move.
"Patience, my friends," urged Dr. Macdonald, his eyes gleaming with steely resolve, as Dr. Harwood nervously rubbed his hands. "We must bide our time and wait for the right moment to strike. The rebels will show more evidence of their activity, or even contact us when they're ready. We will join our forces with theirs to bring about the change we all desire."
"But how long are we to wait?" asked Dr. Leclair, his impatience clear in his voice. “A week? A month? I’ve seen people that can barely put a spoon to their mouths in the mess hall, we’re so overworked! We will not survive at this rate.”
Dr. Harwood found the City Watch at the First Workshop the next day and nearly shat himself out of fear that they had been caught. Instead, the hard-nosed lieutenant simply informed them of their need to oversee and hasten the construction of the city’s new industrial hothouses. They did their best to hold back their disappointment. They would miss the steam vents above their work stations and their heated water closets.
Yet, as they were guided to their new posts far from the Central District, the engineers knew this could be an opportunity to spread their message to the working people of the city. Arriving at the construction sites, arranged around a single roaring steam hub, they were met with a cacophony of hammering, sawing, and the grunts of exertion, punctuated by the occasional expletive or barked order. Yes, it would be an opportunity indeed.
The engineers would soon meet after hours with stories recounting their marvel at the construction teams’ willingness to toil for long hours in the snowy winds, to hoist up enormous pillars of steel and carefully position the fragile panes of thermal glass. The workers, most British nationals with the odd handful of Americans and Europeans, seemed emaciated, filthy, their bodies even twisted by the requirement of their hard labour, but they nary stopped for a break outside of a brief respite for a quick lunch of hard tack and fish soup. To Dr. Conley, she was filled with empathy which fueled more exasperated calls for action. Dr. Harwood, on the other hand, argued that perhaps they misjudged and the common people had more energy than they expected.
One day, a worker, a burly man by the name of Hugo Walsh with a bushy beard and the calluses of a lifetime of labor etched into his hands, approached Dr. Harwood.
"Oi, Doc," he rasped, his voice gravelly from years of inhaling the icy air, "I hear it's you lot wot built them crank-powered prosthetics. Saved me mate's life, that did. He'd 'ave been a goner otherwise. So, thanks for that, guv."
Dr. Harwood, touched by the sentiment, replied, "It's our pleasure, sir. We're here to help our fellow citizens in any way we can."
Overhearing the conversation a man named Freddie Hudson limped over, "Here to help, aye? While we break our backs buildin’? Must be nice, workin' in them fancy workshops for months at a time. All them heaters an' hot water on tap. Ain't like out 'ere in the bleedin' cold." He spat on the ground and walked off.
Dr. Harwood’s face reddened with anger at the ungrateful comment. Hugo frowned and looked at the ground, ashamed at the fellow’s rudeness. An outspoken woman on the team by the name of Sylvie Pearson had watched the scene and promptly marched over.
"Give 'em no mind, sir. It's only complaints that come outta that one's gob! Harwood, is it? I can't wait to get inside these gardens an' see 'em grow," she said, her voice full of wonder. "Imagine, a place right 'ere in New London Crater with lamplights to make things grow right in the dark winter! I've 'eard tell them plants already sprouted in the two we already built. Ain't it a miracle?"
The inventor’s ego was still bruised and he lashed out at Sylvie, “That’s Dr. Harwood to you, madam. And grow lights are no miracle, they are simply yet another gift from the arduous project of science. You lot would be wise to acknowledge the fact that without our educated minds, survival in this wasteland would be a fool’s dream!” He stormed off.
Yet, the other engineers were not so dispirited. Dr. Conley won that night’s debate at Geoffrey’s tenement that they could spare no more time. They had at least the responsibility to win the construction workers over to their side, while they had the chance.
The next day, the engineers assembled together at the steam hub and gave each other courage. Dr. Macdonald took leadership once again and approached a burly worker nearby named Dylan Lee. The doctor's hands shook slightly as he proffered a carefully folded and sealed parchment, detailing their concerns and ideas to reduce work hours and improve the lives of New London's laborers.
"Read this, Mr. Lee," Dr. Macdonald whispered, his voice trembling slightly. "It contains thoughts on how we might make things better for all of us."
Dylan hesitated, his eyes darting to the parchment in Dr. Macdonald's hand, then to the other workers toiling nearby. He looked back at Dr. Macdonald and, with a steely determination, called out to the others. "Oi, gather 'round! The doc's got somethin' he wants us to read!"
The workers all stopped, curiosity piqued, then set down their tools and shuffled closer.
Dr. Macdonald winced, unprepared for such a public display. Dylan took the letter, unfolded it, and began to read aloud, his voice rough and unpolished.
As the words filled the air, a mixture of hope, skepticism, and confusion began to manifest on the faces of the workers. The air around them crackled with tension, the cold wind blowing down from above the Crater as they listened to the engineers' proposal.
"What do they know?" snarled a thin, wiry man by the name of Keegan. "They ain't never had to lift a finger in their lives, and now they think they can tell us what's best for us?"
"Wait a moment," interjected Sylvie, as she rubbed her hands furiously to keep them warm. "Perhaps they're just tryin' to help."
The site erupted into mutters and shouts. The engineers, unaccustomed to the raw, unfiltered emotions of the workers, began to stammer out explanations, trying to assuage their concerns.
Dylan cut through all that with his voice booming over the others. "We can't risk it! Rebellion would cost us everything. You ‘eard the Captain, it’s only obedience that’ll save us in these tryin' times!"
The man’s gaze fell upon a pair of guards who happened to be walking nearby, their boots crunching on the frosty ground. He called out to them, his voice urgent and powerful.
"Guards! Over 'ere, we've got some troublemakers!"
The guards exchanged glances before swiftly making their way toward the gathering. The engineers, sensing the danger, immediately began to protest, their voices rising in a desperate attempt to avoid the consequences of their well-intentioned plan.
"Wait, you misunderstand!" Dr. Macdonald implored, his eyes wide with alarm. "We only wished to help the Major see reason and improve life for everyone!"
"'Improvin’ life?" Dylan snorted. "By bringin' unrest an' questionin’ orders?!"
One of the guards, a broad-shouldered man by the name of Lieutenant Murray, looked at the engineers sternly. "Let me see this letter," he demanded, his hand outstretched. Dylan handed it over as Dr. Harwood’s heart filled with dread.
The guard's eyes flicked over the parchment, scanning the words quickly before he passed it to his companion. The second guard read it, his face betraying no emotion, and handed it back.
"It seems you've been inciting dissent," Lieutenant Murray said sternly, his voice cutting through the frigid air. "You'll be coming with us."
"No, please, you must listen!" cried Dr. Harwood, his hands shaking. "We never meant to cause trouble!"
The guards paid him no heed, instead producing iron cuffs and securing them around the wrists of each engineer. Their faces were impassive, as if the act of arresting these men held no more significance than any other daily task. As they prepared to lead the engineers away, a hush fell over the crowd of workers.
"Please," Dr. Harwood tried once more, desperation etching lines into his face. "We were only trying to improve things. Our letter makes that very clear! Can't you see that?"
The guards remained stone-faced and unyielding, turning the engineers around to march them off to jail cells. The workers watched, their expressions a mix of fear and resignation, as their foremen were led away. They returned back to their tasks in the half-frozen muck.
In the cold, dank depths of Gridiron Prison that night, the engineering team huddled together in a lower jail cell, their spirits sinking with each passing moment. The stone walls seemed to close in around them, and the imposing guards patrolled the corridors with a relentless, watchful vigilance. The air was heavy with despair, and the only sounds that echoed through the cells were the soft moans of misery and the idle clanking of the pipes.
Suddenly, the cell bars slid open, and Major Wilkins himself strode in, a wolfish smile playing on his lips. He surveyed the engineers with a predatory gaze, his eyes dancing from one disheveled figure to the next.
"Well, well, well," he drawled, his voice smooth. "The great engineers of New London, brought low by their own misguided ambitions."
Drs. Schmidt and Conley, their faces gaunt, immediately began to protest the gritty dregs they had been given for dinner. Major Wilkins merely chuckled at their outrage, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
"Ah, yes," he said, smirking. "I imagine prison food is a far cry from the victuals served at the mess hall.” "You know, it's quite ironic," he went on, his voice dripping with amusement. "Here you are, the finest minds in New London, and yet you find yourselves behind bars. I must say, I expected more from the brilliant creators of our steam-powered prosthetics and those ingenious electric lamps."
The engineers bristled at the Major's mocking tone and his feigned ignorance at the full record of their accomplishments as some of the brightest minds in a generation. Dr. Harwood, his jaw clenched and his eyes flashing with defiance, shot back, "We were only trying to help New London survive as you commanded us to do. You've been working our people to the bone!"
Major Wilkins laughed, a rich, dark sound that echoed through the prison. "Ah, yes, your noble intentions. But, in all your genius, do you really believe you can change the world with your pitiful attempts at rebellion?" he asked, his voice scornful. "The New Order is here to stay, and you’d be wise to learn your place in it is to obey."
The Mad Captain paused for dramatic effect, then continued, “But fear not, my dear engineers, for I have a proposition for you."
The engineers exchanged wary glances, their hearts pounding. Major Wilkins leaned in closer to them in the jail cell, his voice low.
"You are far too important to our city to remain here," he whispered, his words like honey. "We need your skills, your expertise, to ensure the success of our hothouses, our factories and ongoing industrialisation. Still, let us not forget the gravity of your actions… after all… that little letter of yours, well, that could be grounds for execution."
The engineers stiffened, their bravery faltering as the weight of their predicament settled upon them.
"However," Wilkins continued, drawing out the word, "I am not without mercy. I am willing to overlook your misguided attempt at insurrection, on one condition. You will swear your loyalty to me and the New Order, and you will work tirelessly from now on to ensure the success of our endeavors. ALL OF OUR ENDEAVORS AS YOUR COMMANDER SEES FIT! In return, you can return now to your homes and your work tomorrow."
Though they had been staunch critics of the Major, the engineers found themselves doubting their earlier convictions. Dr. Harwood thought that perhaps the Mad Captain could be reasonable, after all. With heavy hearts, they agreed to Major Wilkins' terms, and he smiled in his victory.
As the days passed, the engineers continued to work on the hothouses, their doubts and fears gnawing at them. Once the structures were complete, they even joined the work teams to plant row upon row of potatoes, broccoli, turnips, kale, radishes, tomatoes, and pumpkins. Not another word was spoken of dissent with them, but any friendliness that existed before had been extinguished, as their fellow citizens wouldn’t dare talk to them for long.
The engineers, however, remained torn by their consciences during that long night of New London’s first winter. Dr. Conley was adamant that the rebellious printers of that godforsaken pamphlet had to be out there somewhere. Dr. Leclair opined that the workers assigned to the hothouses must have been hand-picked for their loyalty. They would try again to raise the working conditions of their colony, but this time would operate in an even more secret matter, speaking with only the most trustworthy souls they could find face-to-face in the shadows of the night. Dr. Harwood was more quiet than ever during their whispered debates, but they set their plans into motion nevertheless.
Dr. Macdonald spoke to a foreman at the coal mine. Dr. Schmidt made contact with a group at the steelworks that had flirted with the idea of a work stoppage. A few engineers at the Wall Drill finally gave Dr. Conley the time of day to win them over to the cause and she proved most persuasive. Slowly, although reports always had to be questioned for fear of misinformation, the engineers of the First Workshop detected the number of their supporters were growing.
One evening, back in Geoffrey’s tenement, the engineers gathered with a group of representatives from the discontent to discuss their strategy.
"Friends, we must rally the people," he declared, his voice firm with conviction. "We must make them understand that at the current rate of malnutrition, accidents, infections, and frostbite, our lives in the Crater are at risk. If we don't act soon, we will all perish."
Dr. Conley, nodded in agreement, adding, "The Wilkins administration hoards supplies, dreading the worst, but we have already been pushed to the brink. We need more food, adequate rest time, and it’s high time the New Order return the right of all good Christian men and women to worship as we please!"
Their message resonated with the beleaguered workers. They expressed eagerness to join the protest and make their demands known. A coal miner named Samuel Holmes spoke up, his voice quivering with emotion. "Major Wilkins has no right to keep us living like this. We deserve better. We deserve to live, not just survive!" An engineer from the industrial tools factory, a woman named Margaret Palmer, chimed in. "Yes, we've been pushed too far! We must stand in unity and make our demands known!”
The group's resolve strengthened with each passing day, and finally, the night of the protest arrived. The engineers, coal miners, steel workers, toolmakers and lumberers came streaming out of their homes towards the Central District. With Leonard and Elizabeth leading the charge, they marched past their enormous steam-belching Generator toward the Propaganda Centre, their voices raised in unison.
"We demand better conditions! We demand more food! We demand the right to worship!"
The air was thick with tension as the protesters came around the corner, to see that Major Wilkins and the Brotherhood of the New Order were waiting for them en masse. Someone had informed the administration of their plans! The militia were even there, standing in rows like a regiment, wearing red armbands to illustrate their loyalty. A horn blast came from beyond the infirmary, and the protestor’s chants faltered as they saw the Silver Scot take up a position beside them, four guards with rifles standing at attention atop its steel back. They braced themselves for the confrontation that was sure to come, their hearts pounding in their chests.
The engineers stood at the front of the crowd of protestors, locking eyes with Major Wilkins, neither side willing to back down. With a deep breath, Dr. Macdonald addressed the Major, his voice filled with resolve.
"Major Wilkins, we stand before you today not as enemies, but as fellow citizens of New London, united in our desire for this glorious city to survive. In light of our people’s deterioration from months of exhausting work schedules, we demand fair treatment, proper nourishment, and the right to worship as we see fit."
Major Wilkins stared back, his eyes cold and unyielding. "Ah, a veritable League of Extraordinary Protesters! Well, let me enlighten you, my international friends. Survival requires sacrifice, and I'm afraid your little tantrum only serves to delay the progress we desperately need."
The protesters took heart as a couple of children began to bang on makeshift drums. The crowd shouted their slogans again, and Dr. Conley stepped closer to the Mad Captain, her voice ringing with conviction. “Sir, we cannot ignore the suffering of our people. The methods of your administration have been harsh and unsustainable. We need change, and we need it now.”
"You dare to question my attention to the survival of humanity?" Wilkins bellowed, his voice booming across the Central District. "I have worked tirelessly to ensure our city's survival, while you waste time on this foolish protest! How many times must I explain that we cannot afford a single extra moment of delay? There is much work to be done, and your doubt only hinders us!"
"Major Wilkins," Dr. Macdonald started, his voice wavering, "we believe that work hours should be reduced to eight per day, with construction projects continuing in the evening only on a voluntary basis. This would be suitable."
Elizabeth chimed in, tripping over her words in her haste, "A-and we d-demand Saturdays a-and Sundays off, too! To give the people a needed rest! A-and…"
The Mad Captain raised an eyebrow, a sly grin spreading across his face. "So you want to work less and rest more, do you?" He paused, letting his words sink in before continuing, "Tell me, my dear engineers, how will New London survive if we all laze about like it's a never-ending holiday?"
Some of the workers who had joined the protest began to waver. Major Wilkins went on, "Perhaps we should send you all to the Propaganda Centre for re-education. It seems you haven't quite grasped the concept yet of the New Man."
As the debate raged on, the drumming and slogans from the crowd began to fade, replaced by a tense silence as they listened to the verbal duel. Major Wilkins, unfazed, continued to mock the protest leaders. A crowd gathered then, as New Londoners were drawn to the spectacle unfolding in the Central District in the full view of the City Watch and their lone automaton.
The engineers began to exchange panicked glances, struggling to find adequate responses to their charismatic leader. The crowd, sensing their uncertainty, began to laugh and jeer.
Major Wilkins' eyes twinkled with mischief as he turned his attention back to Dr. Macdonald. "Tell me, Doctor," he asked with condescension, "do you consider yourself more intelligent than an Apis mellifera?"
Dr. Macdonald blinked in confusion, caught off guard by the unexpected question. "I-I'm not sure I-I…”
Major Wilkins smirked, clearly enjoying the famous theorist's discomfiture. "Why, Doctor, I'm surprised at your ignorance! Surely a man of your intellectual prowess is familiar with the Latin name of the humble European honey bee?"
As Dr. Macdonald's face reddened with embarrassment, Major Wilkins continued his lecture. "You see, my dear engineers, even the simple honey bee understands the importance of hard work and cooperation in the face of adversity. They labor tirelessly, each one playing their part to ensure the survival of their hive. They do not complain, nor do they demand rest and leisure. They work because they know that their very existence depends upon it."
The engineers shifted uncomfortably in silence. Major Wilkins, sensing their weakness, pressed his advantage. "Now, if a tiny insect can grasp this fundamental truth, why is it that you, with your esteemed educations and lofty ideals, cannot?"
The crowd, once sympathetic to the protesters, began to murmur in agreement, swayed by the Major's persuasive rhetoric. Dr. Conley raised her voice again, stammering, "Y-you must take into account th-the rising number of work accidents, the malnutrition, the-”
“Oh, I have taken everything into account, rest assured doctor! We all have our role to fulfill and I have not fallen short as you have tonight. But, fear not, my esteemed debaters, for I have a solution!" The biting wind whistled its way through the streets of New London, a ghostly reminder of the icy world beyond the city's confines. Major Wilkins, standing tall amid the swirling snowflakes, sensed the tide of the crowd turning in his favor.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I understand that, in the past, I have spoken admiringly of General Napoleon for his force of vision and strength of will. I know that some of you may not approve, given the long years of war fought by our grandfathers against that tyrant. However, perhaps you would be more amenable to the ideas of the French leaders that came before Little Boney, the Jacobins.”
The crowd leaned in, curiosity piqued by the Major's dramatic shift in tone. He continued, "You see, the Jacobins sought to sweep aside the traditional systems of the past. They recognized that God had no mercy for humanity, even without the Great Frost as proof of his cruelty, and that the old ways, such as the seven-day Christian calendar, were holding them back. They understood the need for change, for progress."
Major Wilkins paused, allowing his words to sink in before delivering his proposal. "I believe we should adopt a new calendar, a ten-day calendar, much like the French Republicans of old. We will call it the New London Calendar, dated from our arrival here to honor the founding of our Glorious City."
The crowd murmured to each other, even the guards of the City Watch, wondering aloud where the Mad Captain was going with this. He raised his hands for silence before continuing. "By my calculations, eighty-nine days have passed since my arrival in the Crater with the vanguard group of the Arebates. As such, tomorrow shall mark the ninetieth day, a fitting time for us all to rest and reflect upon our sacrifices and progress... those who can be spared from vital labors, of course."
Cheers went up from the crowd and the engineers were stunned to see Dr. Leclair clapping in support. Drs. Macdonald and Conley stared at each other in disbelief. Well, that was something, at least. Would it be enough? Dr. Schmidt muttered about the need for new calculations of caloric expenditures.
Major Wilkins continued, his voice booming with authority as he raised up his hands to look around at the faces in the crowd, "From this day forth, the last day of each week of the New London Calendar shall be your day of recuperation and recreation!"
A band, having set up hastily nearby with trumpets and drums, struck up a lively military tune, their instruments cutting through the cold air and infusing the crowd with a sense of camaraderie. The music brought smiles to many the faces of those who had gathered, casting aside their worries. The engineers, realizing that they were losing the crowd's attention, made one desperate last plea for more generous working conditions. They shouted over the music, their voices hoarse and strained, but their words were lost in the cacophony.
Major Wilkins cut them off as the music’s volume increased. "My dear citizens," he shouted, “I know these are trying times. Which is why tonight,” the crowd leaned in, eager to hear, “Tonight, the last remaining jugs of moonshine shall be opened at the pub for all to enjoy.”
A cheer erupted from the gathered throng, their previous concerns momentarily forgotten in the promise of a night of revelry. As the jubilant crowd dispersed, Major Wilkins stepped towards the disheartened engineers, a wolfish grin upon his face. He draped his arms around the shoulders of Drs. Macdonald and Conley as he addressed them. "Ah, my esteemed colleagues, what an unfortunate series of events. it seems you have failed to fulfill your promise of loyalty to New London, to its people and more importantly… to me.”
The Mad Captain tightened his grip on their shoulders, a sinister glint in his eyes. "However, I have to admit my generosity sometimes exceeds my good sense. I shall grant you a chance to redeem yourselves. You see, there is a vital task that requires your attention – the improvement of the locomotive efficiency of the Silver Scot. You shall begin at once and work through the night and the holiday."
The engineers gulped as dread overcame them. Major Wilkins walked over to the automaton, peering up at the guards above, their rifles gleaming coldly in the light of the Generator. "Gentlemen, we’ll pass your drinks up shortly. You are to ensure that our respectable peers remain properly motivated during their labors. Understood?"
The engineers exchanged a resigned look, knowing they had no choice but to comply with the Major's orders as the militia stared on. As Dr. Harwood started to follow his colleagues to the city’s automaton, Major Wilkins stopped him with a firm grip on his arm. "Not you, Dr. Harwood. You have crossed no line, and your loyalty remains unblemished. In fact," he said, a warmth creeping into his voice, "I would like you to join me for a drink at the Swan & Plough. I find myself in need of some intelligent conversation."
Dr. Harwood hesitated, his eyes flicking to his departing friends, who looked back at him with fierce eyes accusing him of betrayal, a swirl of emotions washing over his face. Major Wilkins' smile widened, knowing that the young engineer was torn. "Come now, Dr. Harwood. One drink won't hurt, and we may even find ourselves discussing matters of great importance to the future of New London."
With that, Major Wilkins steered the reluctant Dr. Harwood towards the pub. The militia departed, eager to begin their house searches to find every calendar of the old world that now had to be replaced. As the snow continued to fall upon the city, a blanket of white grew thick upon the rooftops, and the citizens of New London reveled in their fleeting moment of respite, unaware of the trials and tribulations that still lay ahead of them.

Hub post
Contributors: chainer9999, TheReaver88
Division: AFC North
Record: 12-4 (1 no contest), AFC North Champions, Lost in AFC Title Game
Season Summary:
After a Cinderella run the previous season which ended just short of a truly miraculous ending, there were a lot of split opinions about whether the Bengals were “for real.” While there were people who believed that a young nucleus led by Joe Burrow, Ja’Marr Chase and numerous talented but relatively unknown defenders would continue to grow and be even better in 2022-23, the majority opinion was that the Bengals were prime regression candidates and that they were not even the favorites for their own division.
The early part of the season appeared to validate the skeptics: the Bengals sputtered to an 0-2 start, and the offseason O-line improvements were not yet apparent. But Joe Burrow found his form, the line came together as a cohesive unit, and the offense adjusted to take what the defenses were giving them in the short passing game. After a humiliating Monday night loss in Cleveland, the team buckled down and ripped off 8 straight wins (with a tragic no contest in the middle) to roar past the Ravens and grab the division title for the second straight year. The Bengals entered the postseason with some serious question marks; two of their three prized OL signings went down with injuries, as did left tackle Jonah Williams. After squeezing by Baltimore and dominating Buffalo, Cincinnati fell just short against the Chiefs in the AFC Title Game by a familiar score of 23-20. The Bengals experienced several departures in free agency, but the coaching staff and quarterback will remain with the team in 2023 in search of the franchise’s first Super Bowl.
1. 2022 Offseason Recap

• Free Agency Signings:
  • RG Alex Cappa (4 years, $35m, $11m guaranteed): Announced within the first minute of free agency, Cappa's signing signaled a stark departure from the past, when the Bengals refused to pay big money to guards. As the interior of the o-line was absolute garbage especially near the end of the previous season, Cappa was viewed with great optimism.
  • C Ted Karras (3 years, $18m, $5m guaranteed): Karras a bit less so. While known as a heady and smart player, the Bengals fanbase had been focused in on Ryan Jensen, but he chose to play with TB12 for one more run. Karras felt like a consolation prize at the time, but he was definitely a good signing and won over many fans with his play and attitude.
  • RT La’El Collins (3 years, $21m, $5m guaranteed): Filled with shopping mall intrigue and Burrow-baked cupcakes, the La’El Collins saga eventually ended up with him in the building. While the great majority of the fanbase welcomed a signing of Collins’s pedigree, there was some skepticism amongst certain fans that maybe there was a reason Collins had been let go by Dallas. Yeah, about that……
  • TE Hayden Hurst (1 year, $3.5m): A signing needed to replace the departed CJ Uzomah, expectations were modest for Hurst. With his first-round pedigree, the hope was that he’d slot into Uzomah’s production, maybe make some gamebreaking plays.
• Notable Re-signed players:
  • DT BJ Hill (3 years, $30m total, $13m guaranteed): After a promising campaign rotating with Larry Ogunjobi, the Bengals chose to pay Hill. This was seen as a bit of a gamble as Hill, while productive in a rotational role, had not been the starter the previous season. Ogunjobi was more disruptive as an interior pass rusher, but the deciding factor was probably Ogunjobi’s deficiency in run support and his late-season injury.
  • FS Jessie Bates III (Franchise tag, $12.9m): After failing to come to a long-term deal, Bates was franchised, a distinction that he did not take great joy in. Bates maintained that he would refuse to play on the tag, and carried out that threat well into training camp.
  • CB Eli Apple (1 year, $3.5m): While most knew Apple as 1) a loud Tweeter and 2) the guy that got burned by Cooper Kupp in the final moments of the Super Bowl, Bengals fans knew that Apple had outplayed his paltry contract. With the cornerback market getting pricy, Apple was retained as a cheap value CB2 or CB3, depending on how the draft would fall out.
• Other re-signed players:
  • QB Brandon Allen (1 year, $1.5m), WR Stanley Morgan (2 years, $2.24m), WR Adam Cole Trenton Irwin (1 year, $825k), WR Trent Taylor (1 year, $1.135m), WR Mike Thomas (1 year, $1.13m)
  • DT Josh Tupou (2 years, $3m), S/CB* Tre Flowers (1 year, $1.85m), S Michael D. Thomas (1 year, $1.17m)
  • LS Clark Harris (1 year, $1.27m)
• Departures:
  • TE CJ Uzomah (UFA, Jets, 3 yrs $24m): the spiritual leader of the team during their Cinderella playoff run, Uzomah left for a payday and to be in New York. While it was sad, people understood that his money for his production was not a great deal.
  • DT Larry Ogunjobi (UFA, Steelers, 1 yr): After a failed medical scuttled his potential big-money move to Chicago, there were some rumblings that Ogunjobi could possibly return, but no dice; Ogunjobi eventually ended up in Pittsburgh, leaving Baltimore as the one AFC North team that he hasn’t played for……yet.
  • C Trey Hopkins (Released, unsigned by any NFL team in 2022), OG Quinton Spain (UFA, unsigned by any NFL team in 2022), RT Riley Reiff (UFA, Bears): Three members of the offensive line cut or not retained. Tells you something, doesn't it?
  • CB Trae Waynes (Released, subsequently retired): the big miscue out of the Bengals’ defensive spending spree, Waynes was constantly hurt, and even when healthy could not beat out Awuzie or Apple.
  • CB Darius Phillips (UFA, Raiders): After his two-muff debacle against San Francisco, he was never heard from again in Bengals stripes.
  • CB Vernon Hargraves III (UFA, unsigned by any NFL team), S Ricardo Allen (UFA, subsequently retired), LB Jordan Evans (UFA, unsigned by any NFL team)
  • WR Auden Tate (UFA, Falcons), OL Fred Johnson (ERFA, Buccaneers)
• Draft picks:
  • Round 1: S Daxton Hill (Michigan) - a redshirt year for Dax, as he was picked with Bates’ departure in mind. Still, it was somewhat depressing to see him virtually never get on the field, and he worryingly showed some mental lapses when used on special teams.
  • Round 2: CB Cam Taylor-Britt (Nebraska) - the first instance of Zac Taylor’s Nebraska connection being utilized, CTB was picked to compete with Apple for the CB2 job.
  • Round 3: DL Zach Carter (Florida) - seen by many draftniks as a reach, Anarumo’s penchant for players who can line up in multiple positions was a deciding factor. Ultimately did not contribute much, as his first campaign was spent mostly bulking up.
  • Round 4: OG Cordell Volson (North Dakota State) - the sole pick spent on offense, Volson was seen as a Frank Pollack guy from the start, a “glass-eater” to use Pollack’s term. He beat out Jackson Carman for the left guard job and held it, making the pick a relative success.
  • Round 5: S Tycen Anderson (Tulsa) - an injury wiped out his rookie campaign.
  • Round 6: DL Jeffrey Gunter (Coastal Carolina) - Not much out of Gunter in his rookie campaign, except on special teams.
• Notable UDFAs:
  • LS Cal Adomitis (Pitt): this pickup would prove hugely important after Week 1.
• Midseason waiver pickups
  • DT Jay Tufele (Jacksonville Jaguars)
  • OG Max Scharping (Houston Texans)
  • TE Devin Asiasi (New England Patriots)
• Other notable happenings
  • Zac Taylor’s contract extended: Hey, if you lead the Bengals from the doldrums to the precipice of a Super Bowl, you deserve to get paid. There were concerns about whether this was a knee-jerk extension to an overachieving season, but over the course of 2022, Taylor showed enough both tactically and leadership-wise that we can say it wasn’t a mistake.
  • Joe Burrow’s appendectomy: the quest for an uninterrupted Joe Burrow offseason continues, as he had an appendectomy before training camp and missed all of preseason. While none of the players or coaches admitted as such, one gets the sense that this definitely impacted Burrow early in the season.
  • Paul Brown Stadium becomes Paycor Stadium: Seeing the dollar signs racing towards him in the form of Burrow, Chase, and Higgins, Mike Brown gave in and put up the naming rights of Paul Brown Stadium for sale. Paycor made the highest bid, and thus PBS became Paycor Stadium. I maintain that it sounds better than Acrisure Stadium; your mileage may vary.

2. Team Stats
Offense

	Total	League Rank	2021 League Rank
Points	418	7th	7th
Total Yards	5371	7th 🔺	13th
Yards Per Play	5.9	7th	7th
Passing Yards	4520	6th 🔺	7th
Passing TDs	35	T-2nd 🔺	7th
Interceptions	12	T-19th (w/ 4 other teams)	T-14th
Sacks Allowed	44	T-22nd 🔺	32nd
Sack Yards Allowed	280	21st 🔺	31st
Yards Per Pass Attempt	7.4	9th 🔻	3rd
20+ yard Passes	54	12th 🔻	6th
Rushing Yards	1528	29th 🔻	23rd
Yards Per Rush	3.8	T-30th 🔻	24th
Rushing TDs	14	T-20th (w/ BAL) 🔻	T-14th
20+ yard Runs	7	T-26th (w/ 3 other teams) 🔻	T-22nd
DVOA	14.2%	4th 🔺	18th

From the data, we can conclude a few things.

• Continuing last year’s trend, the Bengals were a top-quartile passing offense, even after a dreadful start to the season. After some fits and starts, the players and coaching staff eventually figured out how to attack opposing defenses that took away the deep shots which made the team must-watch TV last season. This dinged the yards per attempt figure, which dipped from 3rd in 2021 to 9th this season.
• However, the running game, which was bottom quartile last year, was even more putrid–and this was evident to anybody that was watching the games. It got so bad that at one point, the Bengals gave up lining up under center and went all shotgun all the time, because they simply could not run the ball from under center (and telegraphed the run way too much when they went under center). The running backs did contribute significantly in the passing game as Burrow utilized checkdowns extensively as a counter to the 2 high safety shells, but the running game itself ultimately never got going.
• The reinforcements for the O-line did have some impact, as the sacks allowed and sack yardage stat all improved quite a bit from last year (55 → 42, 403 → 280). Some of this was also on Burrow learning when to give up looking for the home run.

Defense

	Total	League Rank	2021 League Rank
Points Allowed	322	5th 🔺	17th
Yards Allowed	6048	8th 🔺	17th
Rushing Yards Allowed	1706	5th	5th
Rushing Yards Allowed Per Carry	4.2	T-7th 🔺	15th
Rushing TDs Allowed	12	T-10th 🔺	15th
Passing Yards Allowed	3665	16th 🔺	26th
Passing Yards Allowed Per Attempt	6.6	18th 🔺	20th
Passing TDs Allowed	17	T-3rd 🔺	15th
Sacks	30	29th 🔻	11th
Takeaways	24	13th 🔺	18th
Red Zone Defense %	52%	T-9th 🔺	18th
DVOA	-4.4%	11th 🔺	19th

A few conclusions:

• Last year’s defense was a middling defense that got hot at the right time; this year, the results were more steady throughout the season, as the Bengals improved their defensive rankings across nearly all areas.
• One notable area where the Bengals declined was in sacks, as Trey Hendrickson’s 14.5 sacks from last year did not materialize (though advanced stats say that he played just as well, if not better). Other than T-Rex, the Bengals don’t really have an elite pass rusher, which in turn puts a strain on coverage.
• While Lou Anarumo being back is a huge boon, there most definitely will be some departures this offseason compared to last year, when virtually every meaningful contributor returned......and this was borne out in free agency, as Bates and Bell walked away, bringing the "dark day" that Anarumo had been dreading.

3. Season Review

• Game by game recaps: see here
• Season highs and lows:
  • Highs
    • Feasting on the NFC South: With the season off to an uneven start, the Bengals won a close one against New Orleans, and then absolutely pasted the Falcons and the Panthers to gain momentum for the stretch run. Even old GOAT Brady could not stop the Bengals, as the Bengals defense led a rousing second half comeback to sweep the NFC South.
    • The 8-game win streak to end the season: There was a lot of skepticism about the Bengals after their slow start, as the stretch run slate of opponents looked exceptionally difficult. However, the team came together for this stretch and dispatched Tennessee, Kansas City, old nemesis Cleveland, Tampa, New England and Baltimore to once again claim the division.
    • The Hubbard Yard Dash: Arguably the greatest defensive play in Bengals history. With the game in the balance on Wild Card Weekend, local kid Sam Hubbard scooped up a goal-line fumble and, unlike in Madden, didn’t run out of stamina on his way to the end zone, snatching a victory from the jaws of defeat. A fitting celebratory moment for a player who often gets overlooked.
    • Returning to the AFC Title Game: There were many questions about whether the Bengals were just a one-year wonder, or if 2021 was the foundation for something greater. While they came up just short in the AFC Title Game, the fact that they managed to make it there twice in a row after being a doormat for half a decade is not something that should be laughed at.
  • Lows
    • The first two games of the season: A comedy of errors in Week 1 (a pick six, a blocked XP, and a hilariously botched FG) and a sputtering offense in Week 2 started the season off in morbid fashion. Ultimately, these two squandered games would become the difference in the Bengals having no shot at home field in the stretch run.
    • The Halloween massacre: The Browns have had Zac Taylor’s number ever since he became head coach, and on Halloween, Jake Brisket Jacoby Brissett, Nick Chubb and Myles Garrett delivered an ass whooping. It was the Bengals’ worst loss of the season, compounded by CB1 Chidobe Awuzie tearing his ACL.
    • The end of the season: No doubt about it, the final game against Kansas City feels like an opportunity missed, as O-line injuries led to the offense sputtering even as the defense put up an incredible effort against Patrick Mahomes & co. The way it ended with a costly penalty also stings, as many knew that this year would be the end of the line for several key players.
  • Special aside
    • The Damar Hamlin game: As the other team participating in that game, I think the Bengals, and specifically head coach Zac Taylor, did the right thing by conferring with Sean McDermott to essentially stop the game, and get the very distressed players off the field. It’s really a relief seeing Hamlin now walking about and able to live his life, considering he was temporarily a dead man on the field in Cincinnati. Even though I don’t think the league handled the aftermath very well, I truly hope that in another scenario like that, the Bengals and Taylor would act just like they did that night–some things are bigger than football.
• Awards:
  • HoF induction: Ken Riley (posthumous)
  • Best Celly of the Year (lol): The Jungle Roller Coaster (Week 18)
  • Pro Bowlers
    • First Team: QB Joe Burrow, WR Ja’Marr Chase, DE Trey Hendrickson
    • Alternates: FS Jessie Bates III (2nd alternate), RB Joe Mixon (3rd alternate), WR Tyler Boyd (3rd alternate), K Evan McPherson (4th alternate), C Ted Karras (5th alternate), DT DJ Reader (5th alternate), SS Vonn Bell (5th alternate)
  • All-Pros: None
    • A bit of a rant, but it is incredible how the Bengals have no All-Pros, just three first team Pro Bowlers, managed to win the AFC North and reel off 8 straight wins to finish the season, and Zac Taylor doesn’t get a single vote for CotY. Where the hell are the victories coming from then?

4. Offense/Defense/Special Teams Review

• Offense in-depth Review: Here
• Defense in-depth Review: Here
• Special Teams in-depth Review: Here

5. What Lies Ahead for the Bengals in the 2023 Offseason (Free Agency and Draft)

• Extension Candidates: before we get started, it should be noted that the Bengals front office has rarely used the "modern cap techniques" such as void years and backlogging guarantees--they like doing flat AAV contracts and not incurring dead money when possible. However, with Burrow and Chase (and others) soon to be paid, it is going to be tricky to navigate the cap without utilizing such methods. This offseason will grant us a real look at what the Bengals' strategy is moving forward.
  • QB Joe Burrow: The big one. He’ll get extended, no question–it’s a matter of how much, and how it’s structured. An AAV of $50m is probably going to be the end result. This extension will be the one that shapes all decisions this offseason, as well as many other offseasons to come.
  • WR Tee Higgins: Extension-eligible, the tricky part is that Chase is available for one next year (although Chase has a 5th year option). Since paying two WRs WR1 money is often not seen as a wise investment of cap space, there is a lot of speculation that Higgins might be trade bait a la A.J. Brown–of course, we know what happened to the GM that actually did trade A.J. Brown, so really? An extension might not get done, but the Bengals will want to keep him around at least for the next two years, possibly even using the tag on Higgins after this season if things go down that route.
  • LB Logan Wilson: The 3rd rounder in the “Burrow draft,” Wilson has blossomed into a good-to-great linebacker. With Pratt looking set to leave, the team will want to lock down Wilson; the issue will be the cap number. If the Higgins extension is a no-go, Wilson could be the one getting it instead this offseason. The return of Pratt at a relatively modest number might change the calculation a bit.
• The next two are primarily cap-related extension ideas, which, for the record, are not typically things that Cincinnati has done.
  • DE Trey Hendrickson: With two years remaining on his deal and his importance to the defense paramount, an extension might be an option to lower Hendrickson's cap hit ($15m).
  • DT DJ Reader: Entering the last year of his 4-year deal, Reader's importance to the run defense is similar to Hendrickson's to the pass rush. Just like Hendrickson, Reader's cap hit is $15m--an extension could be on the cards.
• Free agency
  • Notable UFAs
    • FS Jessie Bates III: Having already had contentious negotiations for two years and playing on the franchise tag, Bates looks almost as good as gone. Get paid, man. (Highly likely to leave) Left for Atlanta on a 4-year, $64m deal. Glad he got his bag, thanks for the memories Jessie.
    • LB Germaine Pratt: Played himself into a big payday by being a positive in pass coverage, and probably out of Cincinnati’s reach. (Likely to leave) Ended up staying, solidifying the linebacking corps (3 years, $21m).
    • SS Vonn Bell: With Bates almost certain to leave and Lou Anarumo on record as saying that it will be a dark day when both Bell and Bates are no longer here, Bell looks to be a high priority to re-sign. This is especially because unlike Bates, the Bengals don’t have someone that can fill in Bell’s slot. (50-50) Left for Carolina on a 3-year, $22.5m deal. Thanks for the memories Vonn, you turned the franchise around when you sent JuJu into next week.
    • CB Eli Apple: With the emergence of Cam Taylor-Britt and Apple’s antics on Twitter coming to the fore after the Divisional Round, it’s a toss-up to whether Apple is re-signed. If he’s willing to play for cheap like he did last year ($4m), it wouldn’t be a bad idea. (50-50)
    • TE Hayden Hurst: Hurst became a fan favorite in Cincinnati, and he seemed to like it here as it gave him a chance to resurrect his career. The issue will definitely be price, as nobody is certain exactly how much Hurst will command–if it goes into CJ Uzomah territory ($8m AAV), the Bengals will probably bid him goodbye. (50-50) Left for Carolina on a 3-year, $21m deal. The man parlayed the season into a bag, good for him!
    • RB Samaje Perine: Mixon might be gone unless he takes a pay cut, in which case the Bengals will probably want to retain Perine while bringing in a rookie. How much the Bengals pursue Perine will be dependent on money and what happens with Mixon. (Likely to return) Left for Denver on a 2-year, $7.5m deal. He stated personal reasons, so I'll respect that. We'll always remember his TD against the Chiefs and him dribbling Justin Reid's head.
    • RB Trayveon Williams, WR Trent Taylor, OG Max Scharping: re-signed
    • CB Jalen Davis, S Michael D. Thomas: re-signed
    • DB Tre Flowers
    • QB Brandon Allen
    • TE Drew Sample
    • LS Clark Harris
  • Potential cut candidates
    • RB Joe Mixon: His 12m cap hit is a large one for a running back who was ineffective last year. As he doesn't have additional years left on his deal, restructuring is not an option. Straight up cutting Mixon would save roughly $7.2m against the cap, while incurring $5.5m in dead money. Perine's departure makes this less likely.
    • OT La'El Collins: The coaching staff seems to want him back. However, his play noticeably dipped last year, making a cut a distinct possibility. Cutting Collins would save the Bengals $6m while incurring $3.3m in dead money.
  • ERFAs
    • LS Cal Adomitis: re-signed in February, which probably means the end of the road for Clark Harris.
    • LB Clay Johnston
    • TE Mitchell Wilcox
  • RFA
    • LB Joe Bachie: Re-signed
• Additions
  • LT Orlando Brown (4 yrs, $64m): A very unexpected signing, and probably the biggest swing that the Bengals have taken in free agency regarding the offensive line in recent memory. He's not perfect, but he's a damn good LT and in his prime; throw in the surprisingly reasonable contract, and this is a signing that Bengals fandom was highly supportive of. This did in turn force current LT Jonah Williams to make a trade request; stay tuned.
  • S Nick Scott (3 yrs, $12m): Signed to pair up with Dax Hill after Vonn Bell's departure, Scott is definitely athletic and heady, although Bengals fandom was somewhat disappointed after prime free agent Chauncey Gardner-Johnson was all over Twitter re-tweeting Bengals players throughout early free agency.
  • OG/T Cody Ford (1 yr, $1.08m): Signed for the minimum, there are rumblings that Ford could be the Bengals' plan at RT, which does not give me any reassurances. It's better than Adeniji, but that's not saying much.
• Draft
  • Needs
    • Offensive Line: Center and right guard are stable (Karras, Cappa), left tackle is now set (Brown) but right tackle is uncertain (Collins? Williams? Ford?) and left guard is nothing special (Volson). The Bengals will definitely look to see if they can secure a high-potential offensive tackle prospect with their first rounder, with names like Dawand Jones, Broderick Jones, Darnell Wright, and Anton Harrison all in the mix for the 29th pick.
    • Tight End: Hurst is gone, Sample and Wilcox are out of contract, and this is a deep class for tight ends. The idea of taking one in the first round like Michael Mayer or Darnell Washington is hotly debated on Bengals Twitter, but later round potential picks like Sam Laporta, Tucker Kraft or Luke Schoonmaker are also discussed. They need at least one.
    • Pass rusher: While the defense improved this season, it had a precipitous drop-off in sacks. Either a good edge or someone that can provide pressure from the interior is needed, and names like Calijah Kancey, Nolan Smith, and BJ Ojulari are all under discussion.
    • Cornerback: With Awuzie coming off a torn ACL and CTB still developing, the Bengals could see cornerback as a position that needs another injection of youth–you need as many corners as you can in this league, and the Bengals have not been afraid to stack picks at CB in the past (Jonathan Joseph-Leon Hall, Dre Kirkpatrick-Darqueze Dennard). Deonte Banks was the main name that got discussed for the 29th pick, though he may have risen too far now.
    • Wide receiver: Tyler Boyd may be on his last season at Cincy, and with Higgins and Chase due for raises, finding a developing wide receiver is a need. Probably not a 1st unless someone slips far, but they’ll look for options later in the draft.
    • Running back: Even if Mixon returns, it behooves the Bengals to find a future starter in later rounds. If Bijan is actually there at pick 29 there will be some interesting discussions, but later round names like Zach Charbonnet, Devon Achane or any other running back prospect slated for Day 2 or later will be in the mix.
• Possible coaching departures and promotions:
  • OC Brian Callahan (finalist for the Colts job–lost out to Shane Steichen)
  • DC Lou Anarumo (finalist for the Cardinals job–lost out to Jonathan Gannon)
  • QB Coach Dan Pitcher (interviewed for Bucs OC)
  • After a lengthy process, Callahan, Anarumo and Pitcher all were passed over by other teams, leading them back to Cincinnati. The dream scenario would be for these coaches, who have been with the team for five years now, to guide the Bengals to the promised land and then find their places as head coaches. Of course, dreams don’t always come true, but there’s no harm in hoping.

6. Concluding Remarks
This was an amazing season for the Bengals, despite major disappointment on either end of the schedule. The biggest takeaway was the statement that the Bengals are real; all those projections of a “step back” or the team being a fluke have faded into the past. The convincing win in Buffalo was among the strongest statements the franchise has ever made. The new reality of the NFL is that the Cincinnati Bengals are a serious contender until proven otherwise.
The team has taken free agency losses and will need to see how the roster looks going forward, but this team is still largely the same squad that has reached consecutive AFC title games, and it’s mostly behind a coaching staff and quarterback that are still leading the charge. As long as Joe Burrow is wearing stripes, Bengals fans will enter the season (and often the postseason) with an aura of confidence that has frankly never existed for this fanbase.
Cincinnati will enter 2023 as one of the 4 or 5 shortest odds to win Super Bowl LVIII, and at this point, we fans can dream of our first Lombardi Trophy without being accused of hitting the pipe. However, many monsters loom in the loaded AFC. Guide us, the good shepherd Burrow.
Special thanks to u/TheReaver88 for his edits and summary work, and finally......
WHO DEY!

Then last but not least, here are all my various rankings of different facets of the show. Starting off with my episode rankings, and then team and canon ship rankings (in general and season-by-season), and lastly my final character rankings and tier lists (both in general and season-by-season). Though if you haven’t seen my part 1 post yet, I advise you go see it (you can find it via this link)

Episodes

Deplorable: Z (0.00 - 0.99 Points)
#145: “Sundae Muddy Sundae” (AS) - 0.15
#144: “You Regatta Be Kidding Me” (AS) - 0.20
#143: "The Aftermath: II: Forgive and Forgwen" (TDA) - 0.40
Loathsome: F- (1.00 - 1.99 Points)
#142: “Three Zones and a Baby” (PI) - 1.15
#141: “Lies, Cries and One Big Prize” (PI) - 1.40
#140: “Can’t Help Falling in Louvre” (WT) - 1.70
Painful: F (2.00 - 2.99 Points)
#139: “Sky Fall” (PI) - 2.20
#138: “The Final Wreckening” (AS) - 2.35
#137: “Zeek and Ye Shall Find” (AS) - 2.70
Infuriating: F+ (3.00 - 3.99 Points)
#136: "The Chefshank Redemption" (TDA) - 3.30
#135: "2008: A Space Owen"(TDA) - 3.40
Lousy (Red): D- (4.00 - 4.99 Points)
#134: “Mo Monkey Mo Problems” (PI) - 4.30
#133: “Saving Private Leechball” (AS) - 4.45
#132: “Search and Do Not Destroy” (TDI) - 4.80
Cringe: D (5.00 - 5.99 Points)
#131: “Phobia Factor” (TDI) - 5.05
#130: “A Blast from the Past” (PI) - 5.20
#129: "The Princess Pride" (TDA) - 5.80
Weak: D+ (6.00 - 6.99 Points)
#128: "3:10 to Crazytown" (TDA) - 6.10
#127: "Top Dog" (TDA) - 6.50
#126: “The Obstakill Course” (AS) - 6.55
#125: “Evil Dread” (AS) - 6.70
Lackluster: C- (7.00 - 7.99 Points)
#124: Haute Camp-ture (TDI) - 7.05
#123: “The Very Last Episode, Really!” (TDI) - 7.25
#122: "The Aftermath IV: Who Wants to Pick a Millionaire?” (TDA) - 7.40
#121: “Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better” (WT) - 7.70
#120: “Brazilian Pain Forest” (RR) - 7.85
Borderline: C (8.00 - 8.99 Points)
#119: “This is the Pits!” (PI) - 8.10
#118: "Rock 'n Rule" (TDA) - 8.15
#117: “Hawaiian Punch” (WT) - 8.30
#116: "The Aftermath I: Trent’s Descent" (TDA) - 8.50
#115: “Darjeel with It” (RR) - 8.65
#114: "Beach Blanket Bogus" (TDA) - 8.80
#113: “Walk Like an Egyptian Part 2” (WT) - 8.95
Neutral: C (9.00 Points)
Average: C (9.01 - 10.00 Points)
#112: “African Lying Society-Safari” (WT) - 9.05
#111: “Heroes vs. Villains” (AS) - 9.10
#110: “No Pain, No Game” (TDI) - 9.40
#109: “A Million Ways to Lose a Million Dollars” (RR) - 9.60
#108: “The Bold and the Booty-ful” (AS) - 9.85
#107: “That’s Off the Chain” (TDI) - 9.95
Decent: C+ (10.01 - 11.00 Points)
#106: “Jamaica Me Sweat” (WT) - 10.20
#105: “A Mine is a Terrible Thing to Waste” (ROTI) - 10.25
#104: “Slap Slap Revolution” (WT) - 10.40
#103: “Moon Madness” (AS) - 10.45
#102: “So, Uh, This is my Team” (PI) - 10.60
#101: “I Love You, I Love You Knots” (PI) - 10.75
#100: “The Sucky Outdoors” (TDI) - 10.80
#99: "Masters of Disasters" (TDA) - 10.90
#98: "No One Eggspects the Spanish Opposition" (AS) - 10.95
Fine: B- (11.01 - 12.00 Points)
#97: “Suckers Punched” (AS) - 11.05
#96: "Dial M for Merger" (TDA) - 11.10
#95: “Hawaiian Honeyruin” (RR) - 11.35
#94: “Food Fright” (AS) - 11.40
#93: “Down and Outback” (RR) - 11.55
#92: “Greece’s Pieces” (WT) - 11.60
#91: “Paintball Deer Hunter” (TDI) - 11.80
Dope: B (12.01 - 13.00 Points)
#90: "One Million Bucks B.C." (TDA) - 12.02
#89: “Picnic at Hanging Dork” (WT) - 12.10
#88: “I Love You Grease Pig” (PI) - 12.15
#87: “None Down, Eighteen to Go Part 1” (RR) - 12.20
#86: “Super Happy Crazy Fun Time in Japan” (WT) - 12.25
#85: “Finders Creepers” (ROTI) - 12.30
#84: “Niagara Brawls” (WT) - 12.35
#83: “If You Can’t Take the Heat” (TDI) - 12.40
#82: “Hide and Be Sneaky” (TDI) - 12.45
#81: “None Down, Eighteen to Go Part 2” (RR) - 12.50
#80: “The Big Sleep” (TDI) - 12.60
#79: “How Deep is Your Love” (RR) - 12.65
#78: “Pahk’d with Talent” (PI) - 12.70
#77: “Awww, Drumheller” (WT) - 12.80
#76: “X-treme Torture” (TDI) - 12.90
#75: “Not So Happy Campers Part 2” (TDI) - 12.95
#74: “The Am-AH-zon Race” (WT) - 13.00
Solid: B+ (13.01 - 14.00 Points)
#73: "Million Dollar Babies" (TDA) - 13.05
#72: “Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island” (TDI) - 13.15
#71: “Wawanakwa Gone Wild” (TDI) - 13.20
#70: “Mediterranean Homesick Blues” (RR) - 13.25
#69: “Chinese Fakeout” (WT) - 13.30
#68: “Walk Like an Egyptian, Part 1” (WT) - 13.35
#67: “The Ex-Files” (WT) - 13.40
#66: “French is an Eiffel Language” (RR) - 13.45
#65: "Full Metal Drama" (TDA) - 13.50
#64: “Hello and Dubai” (RR) - 13.55
#63: “Bjorken Telephone” (RR) - 13.60
#62: “Rapa Phooey” (WT) - 13.65
#61: “Hurl and Go Seek” (PI) - 13.70
#60: “Aftermath I: Bridgette Over Troubled Water” (WT) - 13.71
#59: “Truth or Laser Shark” (ROTI) - 13.75
#58: “Not Quite Famous” (TDI) - 13.80
#57: “Grand Chef Auto” (ROTI) - 13.85
#56: “Backstabbers Ahoy!” (ROTI) - 13.88
#55: "The Aftermath III: O-wen or Loose" (TDA) - 13.90
#54: “Bigger! Badder! Brutal-er!” (ROTI) - 13.92
#53: “Not So Happy Campers Part 1” (TDI) - 13.95
#52: "Ocean's Eight - Or Nine" (TDA) - 14.00
Awesome: A- (14.01 - 15.00 Points)
#51: “Aftermath II: Revenge of the Telethon” (WT) - 14.10
#50: “Twinning isn’t Everything” (PI) - 14.15
#49: “Camp Castaways” (TDI) - 14.20
#48: "Alien Resurr-eggtion" (TDA) - 14.40
#47: “Broadway, Baby!” (WT) - 14.45
#46: "Celebrity Manhunt's TDA Reunion Show" (TDA) - 14.55
#45: “Ice Ice Baby” (ROTI) - 14.60
#44: “Riot on Set” (TDA) - 14.63
#43: “I See London” (WT) - 14.70
#42: “Lord of the Ring Toss” (RR) - 14.75
#41: “Brunch of Disgustingness” (TDI) - 14.80
#40: “Shawshank Ridonction” (RR) - 14.85
#39: "Runaway Model" (ROTI) - 14.90
Fantastic: A (15.01 - 16.00 Points)
#38: “Dude Buggies” (RR) - 15.05
#37: "Mutiny on the Soundstage" (TDA) - 15.20
#36: “Aftermath IV: Hawaiian Style” (WT) - 15.30
#35: “Who Can You Trust” (TDI) - 15.40
#34: “A Ticket, a Casket, I’m Gonna Blow a Gasket” (RR) - 15.45
#33: "Crouching Courtney, Hidden Owen" (TDA) - 15.60
#32: “My Way or Zimbabwe” (RR) - 15.65
#31: “Scarlett Fever” (PI) - 15.70
#30: “Newf Kids on the Rock (WT) - 15.75
#29: “Monster Cash” (TDA) - 15.80
#28: “Dodgebrawl” (TDI) - 15.85
#27: “Are We There Yeti?” (TDI) - 15.87
#26: “Got Venom” (RR) - 15.95
Extraordinary: A+ (16.01 - 17.00 Points)
#25: “Last Tango in Buenos Aires” (RR) - 16.05
#24: “Up the Creek” (TDI) - 16.10
#23: "The Sand Witch Project” (TDA) - 16.15
#22: “Ca Noodling” (RR) - 16.25
#21: “Eat, Puke, and Be Wary” (ROTI) - 16.40
#20: “Sweden Sour” (WT) - 16.45
#19: “Basic Straining” (TDI) - 16.50
#18: “One Flu Over the Cuckoos” (TDA) - 16.55
#17: “Maori or Less” (RR) - 16.60
#16: “El Bunny Supremo” (RR) - 16.65
#15: “I Triple Dog Dare You” (TDI) - 16.70
#14: “Little Bull on the Prairie” (RR) - 16.75
#13: “The Enchanted Franken-Forest” (ROTI) - 16.80
#12: “Trial by Tri-Armed Triathlon” (TDI) - 16.85
#11: “Aftermath III: Aftermath Aftermayhem” (WT) - 16.90
Legendary: S (17.01 - 18.00)
#10: “Get a Clue" (TDA) - 17.05
#9: “The Treasure Island of Dr. McLean” (ROTI) - 16.10
#8: "Super Hero-Id" (TDA) - 17.25
#7: “I Love Ridonc and Roll” (RR) - 17.30
#6: “New Beijinging” (RR) - 17.35
#5: “Planes, Trains, and Hot Air Mobiles” (WT) - 17.45
#4: “Hook, Line, and Screamer” (TDI) - 17.50
#3: “Bahamarama (RR) - 17.65
#2: “Brain vs. Brawn: The Ultimate Showdown” (ROTI) - 17.70
#1: “Up, Up, and Away in my Pitiful Balloon” (ROTI) - 17.80

Teams

#13: Pimâpotew Kinosewak (PI)
#12: Killer Grips (TDA)
#11: Wâneyihtam Muskwak (PI)
#10: Heroic Hamsters (AS)
#9: Team Victory (WT)
#8: Villainous Vultures (AS)
#7: Team Amazon (WT)
#6: Killer Bass (TDI)
#5: Screaming Gophers (TDI)
#4: Toxic Rats (ROTI)
#3: Screaming Gaffers (TDA)
#2: Mutant Maggots (ROTI)
#1: Team Chris (WT)

Canon ships (season-by-season)

Worst (Z)
#33: Gwent (TDA)
#32: MacBrody (RR)
Terrible (F)
#31: Skave (PI)
#30: Ozzy (WT)
#29: Zoke (AS)
#28: Derrie (RR)
#27: Gwuncan (AS)
Bad (D)
#26: Coderra (WT)
#25: Gwent (TDI)
#24: Gwuncan (WT)
Neutral (C)
#23: Lyler (TDI)
#22: Scottney (AS)
#21: Lesharold (TDI)
Good (B)
#20: Duncney (TDA)
#19: Gidgette (TDA)
#18: Crimsennui (RR)
#17: Lesharold (TDA)
#16: Lesharold (WT)
#15: Gidgette (WT)
#14: Anne Marito (ROTI)
#13: Lyler (WT)
Excellent (A)
#12: Ozzy (TDI)
#11: Ryphanie (RR)
#10: Zoke (ROTI)
#9: Gidgette (TDI)
#8: Duncney (WT)
#7: Samkota (ROTI)
#6: Aleheather (AS)
Best (S)
#5: Ozzy (TDA)
#4: Nemma (RR)
#3: Duncney (TDI)
#2: Aleheather (WT)
#1: Shawsmine (PI)

Canon ships (general)

NOTP (Z)
#20: Macbrody
Terrible (F)
#19: Skave
#18: Derrie
Bad (D)
#17: Gwent
#16: Coderra
#15: Gwuncan
Neutral (C)
#14: Zoke
#13: Scottney
Good (B)
#12: Crimsennui
#11: Lesharold
#10: Anne Marito
#9: Lyler
Excellent (A)
#8: Ryphanie
#7: Ozzy
#6: Gidgette
#5: Samkota
#4: Duncney
OTP (S)
#3: Nemma
#2: Aleheather
#1: Shawsmine
Now for what y’all have been waiting for

Character rankings (season-by-season)

Deplorable: Z (0.00 - 0.99 Points)
#147: Chris (PI) - 0.01
#146: Amy (PI) - 0.24
#145: Chris (WT) - 0.35
#144: Ezekiel (WT) - 0.67
#143: MacArthur (RR) - 0.96
Loathsome: F- (1.00 - 1.99 Points)
#142: Chris (TDI) - 1.21
#141: Chef (PI) - 1.30
#140: Mal (AS) - 1.81
#139: Leonard (PI) - 1.95
Painful: F (2.00 - 2.99 Points)
#138: Kelly (RR) - 2.25
#137: Chef (WT) - 2.54
#136: Chris (AS) - 2.88
#135: Mike (AS) - 2.91
Infuriating: F+ (3.00 - 3.99 Points)
#134: Taylor (RR) - 3.31
#133: Sadie (TDI) - 3.55
#132: Katie (TDI) - 3.60
#131: Sugar (PI) - 3.72
Lousy (Red): D- (4.00 - 4.99 Points)
#130: Tammy (RR) - 4.30
#129: Sierra (AS) - 4.82
#128: Justin (TDA) - 4.94
Cringe: D (5.00 - 5.99 Points)
#127: Staci (ROTI) - 5.15
#126: Dave (PI) - 5.39
#125: Leonard (RR) - 5.57
#124: Beth (TDA) - 5.61
#123: Jo (AS) - 5.83 (6.24)
Weak: D+ (6.00 - 6.99 Points)
#122: Sierra (WT) - 6.22
#121: Carrie (RR) - 6.32
#120: Jay (RR) - 6.50
#119: Eva (TDI) - 6.59
#118: Trent (TDA) - 6.82
#117: Devin (RR) - 6.91
#116: Mickey (RR) - 6.92
Lackluster: C- (7.00 - 7.99 Points)
#115: Izzy (WT) - 7.00
#114: Leshawna (WT) - 7.19
#113: Chris (ROTI) - 7.50
#112: Sam (AS) - 7.77
#111: Heather (TDI) - 7.86
Borderline: C (8.00 - 8.99 Points)
#110: Beardo (PI) - 8.25
#109: Mary (RR) - 8.33
#108: Duncan (AS) - 8.40
#107: Chef (TDA) - 8.82
#106: Miles (RR) - 8.95
Neutral: C (9.00 Points)
Average: C (9.01 - 10.00 Points)
#105: Courtney (AS) - 9.09
#104: Chris (TDA) - 9.21
#103: Ellody (RR) - 9.25
#102: Justin (TDI) - 9.28
#101: Laurie (RR) - 9.47
#100: Cameron (AS) - 9.51
#99: Rodney (PI) - 9.75
Decent: C+ (10.01 - 11.00 Points)
#98: Chef (AS) - 10.08
#97: Tom (RR) - 10.34
#96: Beth (TDI) - 10.43
#95: Jen (RR) - 10.52
#94: DJ (WT) - 10.65
#93: Owen (TDA) - 10.69
#92: Ella (PI) - 10.72
#91: Sanders (RR) - 10.75
Fine: B- (11.01 - 12.00 Points)
#90: Bridgette (TDA) - 11.23
#89: Geoff (TDA) - 11.45
#88: Tyler (TDI) - 11.49
#87: Sky (PI) - 11.57
#86: Trent (TDI) - 11.65
#85: Topher (PI) - 11.72
#84: Scott (AS) - 11.73
#82: Zoey (AS) - 11.82
#83: DJ (TDI) - 11.86 (11.75)
Dope: B (12.01 - 13.00 Points)
#81: Ezekiel (TDI) - 12.01
#80: Scarlett (PI) - 12.23
#79: Noah (TDI) - 12.31
#78: Bridgette (TDI) - 12.49
#77: Pete (RR) - 12.59
#76: Gerry (RR) - 12.66
#75: Chef (TDI) - 12.72
#74: Mike (ROTI) - 12.76
#73: Gwen (WT) - 12.87
#72: Anne Maria (ROTI) - 12.93
#71: Blaineley (WT) - 12.96
Solid: B+ (13.01 - 14.00 Points)
#70: Josee (RR) - 13.01
#69: Crimson (RR) - 13.32
#68: Jacques (RR) - 13.37
#67: Dawn (ROTI) - 13.39
#66: Leshawna (TDA) - 13.40
#65: Gwen (AS) - 13.50
#64: Tyler (WT) - 13.63
#63: Harold (WT) - 13.67
#62: Max (PI) - 13.78
#61: Owen (TDI) - 13.89
#60: Stephanie (RR) - 13.90
#59: Jo (ROTI) - 13.97
#58: B (ROTI) - 13.98
Awesome: A- (14.01 - 15.00 Points)
#57: Lorenzo (RR) - 14.03
#56: Izzy (TDI) - 14.07
#55: Chet (RR) - 14.13
#54: Bridgette (WT) - 14.16
#53: DJ (TDA) - 14.17
#52: Duncan (TDA) - 14.27
#51: Sammy (PI) - 14.35
#50: Cody (WT) - 14.45
#49: Ennui (RR) - 14.47
#48: Gwen (TDA) - 14.57
#47: Lightning (ROTI) - 14.61
#46: Don (RR) - 14.68
#45: Geoff (TDI) - 14.80
#44: Sam (ROTI) - 14.87
#43: Lindsay (AS) - 14.95
Fantastic: A (15.01 - 16.00 Points)
#42: Owen (WT) - 15.09
#41: Lightning (AS) - 15.10
#40: Courtney (TDA) - 15.29
#39: Heather (AS) - 15.31
#38: Leshawna (TDI) - 15.35
#37: Geoff (WT) - 15.50
#36: Alejandro (AS) - 15.54
#35: Heather (TDA) - 15.59
#34: Rock (RR) - 15.64
#33: Cody (TDI) - 15.78
#32: Noah (RR) - 15.85
#31: Courtney (WT) - 15.90
#30: Jasmine (PI) - 15.94
Extraordinary: A+ (16.01 - 17.00 Points)
#29: Noah (WT) - 16.11
#28: Lindsay (TDI) - 16.29
#27: Chef (ROTI) - 16.34
#26: Ryan (RR) - 16.37
#25: Courtney (TDI) - 16.42
#24: Lindsay (WT) - 16.50
#23: Scott (ROTI) - 16.51
#22: Dakota (ROTI) - 16.62 (16.95)
#21: Lindsay (TDA) - 16.70
#20: Brody (RR) - 16.80
#19: Junior (RR) - 16.92
#18: Brick (ROTI) - 16.95 (16.77 - 16.97)
#17: Harold (TDI) - 16.98
#16: Owen (RR) - 16.99 (16.97 - 17.00)
Legendary: S (17.01 - 18.00)
#15: Geoff (RR) - 17.10
#14: Dwayne (RR) - 17.28
#13: Duncan (WT) - 17.31
#12: Emma (RR) - 17.36 (17.51)
#11: Izzy (TDA) - 17.42
#10: Alejandro (WT) - 17.45 (17.55)
#9: Heather (WT) - 17.47 (17.57)
#8: Duncan (TDI) - 17.62 (17.61)
#7: Spud (RR) - 17.63
#6: Cameron (ROTI) - 17.67
#5: Gwen (TDI) - 17.74
#4: Zoey (ROTI) - 17.85
#3: Harold (TDA) - 17.93
#2: Kitty (RR) - 17.95
#1: Shawn (PI) - 17.96
Cameos
#20: Chris (RR) - 0.10
#19: Ezekiel (AS 2.0) - 1.45
#18: Anne Maria (RR) - 7.20
#17: Blaineley (RR) - 7.21
#16: Ezekiel (AS 1.0) - 7.60
#15: Jose (AS) - 8.20
#14: Owen (AS) - 8.70
#13: Ezekiel (ROTI 2.0) - 9.20
#12: DJ (ROTI) - 9.85
#11: Ezekiel (ROTI 3.0) - 10.10
#10: Ezekiel (ROTI 1.0) - 10.40
#9: Gwen (ROTI) - 10.25
#8: Bridgette (ROTI) - 10.60
#7: Izzy (AS) - 11.40
#6: Owen (ROTI) - 14.85
#5: Everyone (ROTI) - 15.20
#4: Lindsay (ROTI) - 15.80
#3: Izzy (ROTI) - 16.30
#2: Heather (ROTI) - 17.20
#1: Duncan (ROTI) - 17.25

Character rankings (general)

Deplorable: Z (0.00 - 0.99 Points)
#88: Chris - 0.21
#87: Amy - 0.24
#86: MacArthur - 0.96
Loathsome: F- (1.00 - 1.99 Points)
#85: Mal - 1.81
#84: Ezekiel - 1.92
Painful: F (2.00 - 2.99 Points)
#83: Kelly - 2.25
#82: Leonard - 2.93
Infuriating: F+ (3.00 - 3.99 Points)
#81: Sadie - 3.17
#80: Katie - 3.19
#79: Taylor - 3.31
#78: Sugar - 3.72
Lousy (Red): D- (4.00 - 4.99 Points)
#77: Tammy - 4.30
#76: Justin - 4.96
Cringe: D (5.00 - 5.99 Points)
#75: Staci - 5.15
#74: Dave - 5.39
#73: Sierra - 5.73
#72: Beth - 5.88
Weak: D+ (6.00 - 6.99 Points)
#71: Carrie - 6.32
#70: Mike - 6.47
#69: Jay - 6.50
#68: Devin - 6.91
#67: Mickey - 6.92
Lackluster: C- (7.00 - 7.99 Points)
#66: Beardo - 7.20
#65: Chef - 7.52
#64: Eva - 7.70
Borderline: C (8.00 - 8.99 Points)
#63: Mary - 8.33
#62: Trent - 8.67
#61: Miles - 8.95
Neutral: C (9.00 Points)
Average: C (9.01 - 10.00 Points)
#60: Ellody - 9.25
#59: Laurie - 9.47
#58: Rodney - 9.75
Decent: C+ (10.01 - 11.00 Points)
#57: Tom - 10.34
#56: Jen - 10.52
#55: Ella - 10.72
#54: Sanders - 10.75
Fine: B- (11.01 - 12.00 Points)
#53: Jo - 11.06
#52: Sky - 11.57
#51: Topher - 11.72
Dope: B (12.01 - 13.00 Points)
#50: Scarlett - 12.23
#49: Sam - 12.24
#48: DJ - 12.52
#47: Pete - 12.59
#46: Gerry - 12.66
#45: Bridgette - 12.92
#44: Anne Maria - 12.93
#43: Blaineley - 12.96
Solid: B+ (13.01 - 14.00 Points)
#42: Josee - 13.01
#41: Crimson - 13.32
#40: Leshawna - 13.20
#39: Jacques - 13.37
#38: Dawn - 13.39
#37: Tyler - 13.27
#36: Max - 13.78
#35: Stephanie - 13.90
#34: B - 13.98
Awesome: A- (14.01 - 15.00 Points)
#33: Lorenzo - 14.03
#32: Chet - 14.13
#31: Sammy - 14.35
#30: Courtney - 14.38
#29: Scott - 14.39
#28: Ennui - 14.47
#27: Don - 14.68
#26: Lightning - 14.72
#25: Cody - 14.82
Fantastic: A (15.01 - 16.00 Points)
#24: Owen - 15.11
#23: Izzy - 15.31
#22: Noah - 15.47
#21: Rock - 15.64
#20: Heather - 15.74
#19: Jasmine - 15.94
Extraordinary: A+ (16.01 - 17.00 Points)
#18: Ryan - 16.37
#17: Geoff - 16.39
#16: Cameron - 16.61
#15: Dakota - 16.62
#14: Lindsay - 16.70
#13: Brody - 16.80
#12: Junior - 16.92
#11: Brick - 16.95
Legendary: S (17.01 - 18.00)
#10: Gwen - 17.11
#9: Dwayne - 17.28
#8: Duncan - 17.32
#7: Emma - 17.36
#6: Alejandro - 17.48
#5: Spud - 17.63
#4: Zoey - 17.69
#3: Harold - 17.94
#2: Kitty - 17.95
#1: Shawn - 17.96
Other characters aside from the main 87 + Mal
#17: Fang - 2.83
#16: Jose - 3.40
#15: DJ’s Mom - 6.60
#14: Intern in Glamouriffic’s template - 7.30
#13: Brittany - 8.05
#12: Leshaniqua - 8.10
#11: Scruffy - 9.45
#10: Mr. Coconut - 9.80
#9: Josh - 10.20
#8: Bruno - 10.25
#7: Chester - 10.64
#6: Svetlana - 10.90
#5: Sasquatchanakwa - 11.10
#4: Molotov - 11.11
#3: Manitoba - 11.62
#2: Vito - 12.00
#1: Loki - 14.59
And then as a bonus, here’s a link to my entire Google Sheets I used to assemble each ranking chart. I’m too lazy to explain every facet of how I calculated things, or how it works. But if any of you are actually curious and comment more specifically, I can answer
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1aEr5JBcy4EVq_7rZEhVzhP5nimYT6O4vSkF-u313EaU/edit?usp=sharing

Outro + what I might do in the future👀

With that all being said, this completely concludes my super long rewatch series. Once again, thank you to all who actually followed this series at any point! With that being said, I figured I should briefly talk about what I have planned in the future. Well for starters, I still have to continue my poll series. And now that I’ve completed this series, stating my opinions should be even easier now. Also, the new seasons are coming up soon. So I may or may not add onto this series once the episodes air, whether it be doing full-on episode by episode reviews, or just going by the slightly more efficient commentary style I did where I go through a few episodes per post. On top of this, I’ve also recently watched a couple of fanseasons on YT, that being Disventure Camp and Adventure Camp. And I think I have something planned for that
But for now, this is Geo, for the last time in this series, signing off✌️

So I was reading this recent chapter and was thinking about how close it is to the end of NEL, and how it's getting closer to the U20 World Cup. When a thought popped into my mind.
Have they even qualified yet?
Obviously before a team can go to the World Cup, they have to go through the qualifiers to be chosen to participate in the World Cup. It's never been explicitly stated on whether or not Japan has qualified, I mean we have all been under the assumption that they have, since the whole goal of the manga is to win the World Cup and become the best striker in the world. Before that's even possible they need to qualify to participate for the World Cup, and the qualifiers is where a lot of countries fall short.
This raises the question, 'Have Japan even qualified for the U20 yet?'
To this question there are two possible answers, the previous U20 Japan had already qualified the year before for the World Cup, or the new U20 team chosen from these Blue Lockers and previous team will be the one participating in the qualifiers match.
Honestly before I go deeper into this I'm going preface this by saying I am absolutely clueless about football most of my information will be from research online. Also, I'm not sure how realistic this manga may be therefore, take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Going with the theory that the U20 team have not yet qualified for the World Cup, this would realistically be next step after the NEL. Looking at the timeline we were told by Ego just when everyone arrived at Blue Lock back from break there were only 100 days until the U20 World Cup. This is a little over 3 months.
After the NEL ends there will be 38 days out of the original 100 days deadline until the U20 World Cup beings, this calculates to 1 month and 7 days. Let's assume for funsies that the players get a week break, leaving only 1 month left until the U20 World Cup. That begs that the question of what while happen during that month. There could be a month long boot camp, maybe a break, or how about participating in the U20 qualifiers?
I've done some research on the U20 qualifiers and for Japan they are under the East Asian Football Federation (AFF) there is 10 countries that are members. The AFF itself is under the Asian Football Confederation (AFC) who are in charge of the football related tournaments in Asia such as, the AFC U20 World Cup. There are 47 countries that are members of the AFC. Before a country can enter the FIFA U20 World Cup there are 2 tournaments they must compete in and win first.

1. First is the AFC U20 Championship - Any of 47 countries are able to apply to play in the Championship, they are split into 2 groups based on their subdivision and location. For Japan as they are part of the East, it would be the AFF and ASEAN competing amongst themselves. From this only the top 10 group winners, the 5 best-runner ups and the 6th runner up qualify for the AFC Asian U20 Cup.
2. Next is the AFC Asian U20 Cup only 16 countries play of those who had qualified from the previous tournament. From the 16 countries they are put into 4 groups, in which only the top 2 from each group enter the knockout rounds into the quarter finals. Only 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th place winners qualify for the FIFA U20 World Cup.

Now with the background laid out, lets assume for the sake of my theory that Japan is part of the 16 countries that qualify for the Asian U20 Cup. With a month and a week after the NEL has finished it's somewhat feasible that Blue Lock could participate in the Asian U20 Cup as it only lasts 18 days. The first 9 days are spent competing against your chosen groups, the last 9 days are the quarter finals. Although the Asian U20 Cup only lasts 18 days it would be useless for the manga to spend time on the first 9 days as it would be incredible boring however, the last 9 days of would be worth interest.
There would only be three matches the mangaka could focus on which would be the quarter-final, semi-final and the finals. These matches would be a perfect way to introduce the World to Japan's new style of football before their debut at the FIFA U20 World Cup. Currently the players are only having a 'taste' of the World which is a very small sample size of only the top 5 European Leagues. Up to this point the players have only ever played on their home turf under Ego's rules and in an environment he has specially created to cultivate their talents. Despite the NEL's efforts to move away from this the players are still in a very controlled environment. As great it is to be playing and training under the top 5 European Leagues with the New Generation XI, when the new team reach the FIFA U20 World Cup they will have to play against over 24 countries with different playstyles, skills, talents, strengths and weakness. The last thing we want is for the Blue Lockers to face a similar disheartening experience like Sae did. A benefit of having the Asian U20 World Cup shown in the manga, it will be the first time that the new U20 group are playing together as a whole, in which we be able to see their chemical reactions, learn about players new positions, and also who the official Japanese striker will be. The devastating consequences of losing the Asian U20 World Cup would ensure for each match to be extremely hyped.
Before the NEL started it was said that Blue Lock is in it's second phase which is the NEL, Ego himself stated the NEL also served as a function for the final selection of the U20 team. It would be reasonable to believe that the Asian U20 Cup could be Blue Lock's final stage before FIFA U20 World Cup.
As Ego stated before how a player performs in a real match compared to a practice match shows you who the player really is and their strength. Simple things such as playing in a different stadium, being a different country, drinking water from a different country could affect how the play. It would be interesting to see the Blue Lockers in a new environment and learning how to adapt to it and the new players. This will also give us as fans an opportunity to meet new characters from the opposing teams mostly likely some of the New Generation XI would be introduced.
If Blue Lock were able to go the Asian U20 World Cup the four countries they would definitely go against based on their records would be South Korea, Myanmar and Thailand. Wouldn't it be awesome to see our egoists win the Championships after Japan has only ever been in the top 4 and has only won once. With a win under their belt the FIFA U20 World Cup would be great, but at the same time a lose would be good too as they would be hungry to win the World Cup and there's nothing better than desperate egoists. The Asian U20 World Cup could bring out so many new scenarios, themes and stories to tell.
Also someone who loves chapter 150 it would be great to see the boys have fun and act like teenagers again in a foreign country and it could bring out new friendships or unexpected pairings.
On a final note, I just think it would be sad for Blue Lock to be so close to end if from the NEL there is a time jump straight to the World Cup. Imagining this manga ending would make me cry so I pray for just a bit more content.
(Let me know what you guys all think and your own theories, I apologise that this was so long and so rant filled. I lost energy towards the end.)

Atreus, Terror of the Sky

Agility Melee

Carry Escape

Tags: MovementSpeed Evasion Mobility AttackSteroid Physical Magical Melee Passive AOE Stun
Playstyle: Glass cannon melee carry with extreme movement speed and reliant on his evasion to avoid being locked down.

Lore

While the Skywrath Kingdom is known to outsiders as a monarchy ruled by a bloodline of ancient mages, this was not always the case. The expanse of the sky is too vast to be ruled by any one clan, and in the old days before Shendelzare's great grandmother united them another flock once proudly ruled from a roost called Cloudhaven. Loyal to the ways of Avilliva, the wingless Accip'auk clan ruled over the massive floating city's spires and bridges with the help of the Order of the Gryphon, their royal guard of Gryphon-riding knights. It was from this guard that Atreus, champion of the annual sky-jousting tournament, slayer of the Feathered Serpent and captain of Queen Shendelezar's personal guard, arose from mere ignominy to become the last of his fated bloodline. Because, you see, while the Skywrath Kingdom of the present has known peace for centuries, all lasting peace must be born of bloodshed. The conflict between winged Skywrath and their wingless forerunners is oft forgotten by the victors of the conflict, but to Atreus his clan's cursed fate cannot be forgotten: to fall, helplessly, from great heights as you watch your whole world crumble before you. As the white marble halls of Cloudhaven crashed to the ground, it was Atreus's Gryphon, Drachon, who stopped his fatal descent. Faced with an impossible battle against Scree'auk's winged zealots and the death of his Queen, Atreus made the decision to go into hiding, carrying with him the relics of Avilliva in the hopes that he could one day return his kind to their rightful place in the sky.

Appearance

A wingless Skywrath (like Vengeful Spirit) riding an armored Gryphon and wielding a sacred spear. His mount walks on the ground normally, taking flight while his Q ability is active. His armor is dark green with a visor covering his face except for his jaw, and his feathers as well as those of his gryphon are silver.

Design Goals

• Dota lacks a flying mounted melee hero, and the community have been clamoring for a new hard carry hero
  
• In addition to the inclusion of two underutilized mechanics, evasion and movement speed, also must include completely new mechanics (spell evasion and attacking while moving)
  
• Intended to not need Boots or BKB as core items, helping give the hero a unique identity through itemization
  

Overview

Q: Winged Pursuit

Take flight, gaining evasion and flying movement, as well as the ability to attack while moving.

W: Tail Sweep

Leaps to the target point and sweeps enemies off their feet with Drachon's tail, stunning and damaging enemies in the area.

E: Talon Dive

Attacks have a chance to deal bonus damage based on current movement speed and ignore the target enemy's armor.

R: Sky Terror

Gain movement speed for a duration each time you attack. While moving at over 500 movement speed, sources of evasion also apply to enemy spell effects.

Shard (new ability) D: Soar

Swiftly flies to a distant location. Cannot be used for 3 seconds after taking damage from an enemy hero or Roshan.

Scepter: Sky Terror

Increases attack range and grants uncapped movement speed.

Attributes

STR: 17 + 2.2 AGI: 20 + 3 INT: 14 + 2
Movement Speed: 330
Turn Rate: 0.8
Attack Range: 200 ( 300)
Projectile Speed: instant (melee)
Vision: 1800/800
Base Damage: 26-32 (46-52 total at level 1)
Base Armor: -3 (0.333 total at level 1)
BAT: 1.7
Attack Time: 0.38 + 0.5s

Talents

Level 10: 400 Winged Pursuit Flying Vision OR -2 Armor Corruption
Level 15: +15 Strength OR +15 Agility
Level 20: +180 Tail Sweep Damage OR +1 Movement Speed per Agility
Level 25: +30% Evasion OR +100% Sky Terror Duration

Abilities

Q: WINGED PURSUIT no target

Take flight, gaining evasion and flying movement, as well as the ability to attack while moving.

Cast Time: instant
Duration: 6s
Evasion: 30/35/40/45%
Flying Vision Radius: 0 ( 400)
Effect cannot be purged by enemies
9/8/7/6s 50/60/70/80
Notes:

• Does not give flying vision unless the flying vision talent is taken.
  
• Allows attacking without turning while active, so you can control your movement direction independently of your attack target. Automatically attacks an enemy in range while flying.
  
• Can be placed on auto-cast with Alt+Q, but can't cast while stunned, silenced or rooted. Also may not be manually cast while rooted.
  

W: TAIL SWEEP target point, magical

Leaps to the target point and sweeps enemies off their feet with Drachon's tail, stunning and damaging enemies in the area.

Cast Range: 800/900/1000/1100
Radius: 225/250/275/300
Stun Duration: 1/1.2/1.4/1.6s
Damage: 50/90/130/170 ( 230/270/310/350)
Stun and damage blocked by enemy spell immunity
12s 70/75/80/85
Notes:

• Cannot be cast while rooted.

E: TALON DIVE passive, physical

Attacks have a chance to deal bonus damage based on current movement speed and ignore the target enemy's armor.

Proc Chance: 9/12/15/18%
Move Speed as Damage: 20/30/40/50%
Enemy Armor Ignored: 100%
Disabled by break Not blocked by enemy spell immunity
Notes:

• Talon Dive procs also grant true strike.
  
• Talon Dive's bonus damage counts as a separate instance from attacks so does not factor into critical hit damage calculation, but does not count as a spell either (different from Spirit Breaker's Greater Bash). Both the main attack hit and Talon Dive's bonus damage from movespeed ignore armor.
  
• Effectively sets the enemy's armor to zero for damage calculations, with minus armor applied afterward, meaning minus armor still has a benefit.
  
• Visually, when Talon Dive procs an afterimage appears and dives at the target as if you moved so fast that you appear to have not moved.
  

R: SKY TERROR ultimate, passive

Gain movement speed for a duration each time you attack. While moving at over 500 movement speed, sources of evasion also apply to enemy spell effects.

Movement Speed per Attack: 3/4/5%
Bonus Movement Speed Duration: 12/16/20s ( 24/32/40s)
Bonus Attack Range: 0 ( 100)
Disabled by break Not blocked by enemy spell immunity
Aghanim's Scepter Upgrade: Increases attack range and grants uncapped movement speed.
Notes:

• Spell evasion works similarly to Faceless Void's old Backtrack (without the self-healing part), but can also trigger on any targeted or AOE spell that would hit you, avoiding the effect entirely. Spells that cause an effect over time roll for spell evasion for each tick, meaning you can evade the first tick of an effect but then be effected by a later tick of it.
  
• The spell evasion component only works while moving, meaning that if you stop moving or are otherwise prevented from moving at 500 movespeed or greater the effect is deactivated.
  
• Sources of accuracy that effect a spell, like for example Ember Spirit using Sleight of Fist with MKB, also gain accuracy towards spell evasion for those spells. There may be some exceptions, for example Faceless Void's Chronosphere or Enigma's Black Hole, which cannot be spell evaded.
  
• Your mount glows and gives off additional, bright cyan wind lines while moving at 500 speed or above to show that spell evasion is active.
  

D: SOAR target point
( Unlocked with Aghanim's Shard)

Swiftly flies to a distant location. Cannot be used for 3 seconds after taking damage from an enemy hero or Roshan.

Cast Range: 3000
Travel Speed: 2000
Damage Cooldown: 3s
30s 100
Notes:

• You cannot attack or take other actions while soaring, but also cannot be targeted by enemies or hit by ground/AOE effects. Soar may not be stopped early.
  
• Cannot be cast while rooted.
  

Discussion

Normally I don't like to write a novel of my thoughts after the hero, as the design should speak for itself, but with this potentially controversial design I wanted to be clear about what problems this hero solves.
The concept started from the idea of a flying mounted carry hero, and I immediately decided on melee to avoid similarities to Batrider. The next objective was to come up with some existing mechanics that are underutilized for carry heroes, which led to Evasion and Movement Speed being the hero's main mechanics. Separately from this process I had already designed the W as the hero's primary "do shit" active ability, however its tuning was crucial to make playing the hero as a non-carry difficult.
I wanted to avoid similarities to other heroes (both official and some of my old concepts) so at this point I reached a critical decision: I knew the hero would have a proc effect, but what? I wanted the hero to have a different playstyle than other movement speed-based heroes like Spirit Breaker, Bloodseeker, Weaver, Phantom Lancer, etc, but realistically looking at how to make a carry that benefits from moving fast I decided that Spirit Breaker's Bash scaling probably needs to go anyway. I think Talon Dive's similarities to Spirit Breaker's Bash are small enough that they can co-exist, but realistically no one builds Spirit Breaker to deal damage via moving fast, and that niche ought to be reclaimed so we can have a hero who does.
At this point the hero didn't feel very unique, and I was still waiting to check the box for "has a new mechanic". Some of you may remember an old hero concept of mine, Antares, which featured the ability to attack while moving as a ranged carry—with this hero I decided Antares finally needs a full rework to make that niche available. There are too many reasons to list for why Antares needed a change, but it's safe to say that attacking while moving is a potentially very overpowered effect and giving it to a ranged hero is dubious, not to mention the reworked Antares will be much less of a carry and more of a terrain-manipulating Agility 3-pos or 4-pos-type hero.
With the hero's Q going from bland to its current form I just needed to top the hero off with an appropriate ultimate, but simply giving movement speed per attack didn't feel exciting enough. At this point I was wracking my brain for ways to give an active effect to the ult, but that was when the idea of a conditional for moving over a certain speed popped into my head. Spell Evasion as a concept is so inherently broken that I almost dismissed the idea out of hand, but it certainly checked all the boxes: both giving the hero a unique mechanic and a reason to avoid traditional carry items like BKB.
I've explored several potential caveats for the Q and R interaction, such as removing the Q's evasion when taking damage, putting a cap on spell evasion % or making certain types of spells (like slows) always pierce spell evasion, but ultimately the current balance is my attempt to let the hero be overpowered in order to find their natural counters. I would like the hero to be hard-countered by certain slows, like for example Warlock's Upheaval or Venomancer's Venomous Gale which could drop him out of Spell Evasion by putting him under 500 speed. I also think it would be nice to have another hero besides Phantom Assassin who forces the enemy to build MKB, in this case to allow attacks to pierce your evasion and then Bash or Slow you down below 500 speed.
For the hero's Aghanim's upgrades, the goal was to further enhance the hero's strengths to give him a more obvious niche: Soar gives incredible farming mobility to help you avoid the need for Boots of Travel, Blink or using W to farm, while the Scepter upgrade is meant to make up for the hero's inability to use Dragon Lance and encourages you to stack movement speed. Originally the level 20 +1 Movement Speed per Agility talent was part of the Scepter and the Scepter's uncapped movement speed effect was a level 25 talent, but this arrangement hopefully gives the hero a higher power ceiling pre-level-25 while still letting you skip Boots if you don't absolutely need them.
Whatever your view of the new mechanics I'm exploring here, I'd love to hear your take on ways to make a flying mounted Agility melee carry. I'm always trying to come up with new characters that fit in the Dota world, and this one, inspired by Pegasus Knights from the Fire Emblem series and the most recent World of Warcraft expansion, Dragonflight, hopefully gives you some ideas of your own!
Also quick note I'm planning to add some artwork in the coming days, so check back for that!
Thanks for reading!

"The 'weaknesses' of Zard and Alfia?"
​
It was during the late night before the final battle.
​
With only a few hours left until the all-out war between justice and evil, the Astraea Familia had received some information from the Loki Familia.
​
"Yes. We thought it would be best to inform you, the 'Worst Monster' squad, about Zard and Alfia beforehand. If you know their weaknesses in advance, you might be able to devise countermeasures against them."
​
Having already shared the details of the operation with each Familia, Finn called Alise and her companions to the Guild's strategy room, preparing for any unexpected situations that could occur.
​
"Even if you say 'weaknesses,' it's not like there's something like a monster's 'magic stone' that you can just hit to defeat them in one blow, right?"
​
Lyra, who had been looking around at the faces of Finn, Riveria, and Gareth in the room, crossed her arms behind her head.
​
"I mean, I don't think we can come up with any countermeasures if we can't even fight them head-on."
​
In response to the doubtful look on the prum’s face, Riveria calmly spoke of a certain “fact” with no change to her expression.
​
"Indeed, it is not like a 'magic stone. However, we believe that if you take this information into account and fight in battle with them, you can find an opportunity for victory."
​
"…Hey, are you being serious? It's not some kind of joke, right?"
​
Lyra was surprised, seeing the astute expression on the face of the royal elf. Her eyes narrowed.
​
Gareth nodded in response to her doubts.
​
"Even before the Zeus and Hera Familias were wiped out, they had this one 'weakness.' They’re probably still living with it."
​
"…I fought that woman once and was utterly defeated. It's hard to believe that she could have such a 'weakness'…"
​
Kaguya, who had fought Alfia directly, frowned as if she couldn’t accept the idea of a weakness that supposedly existed over eight years ago.
​
"No, it exists. And it was also the reason why Alfia, who was praised as the 'most loved by talent' only reached a mere Level 7."
​
Kaguya was at a loss for words, at the unwavering conviction in Riveria’s voice, as she declared that..
​
Alise, who had been listening, couldn't hide her surprise either. Standing next to her, Ryuu asked with tension seeping into her voice.
​
"What is that 'weakness'…?"
​
"The reason she couldn't reach the position of the strongest, despite possessing qualities to be the strongest is—"
​
Closing her eyes, Riveria revealed the name of the weakness.
​
"She had a 'incurable disease.'"
​
​
​
​
"A 'incurable disease'…?"
​
In the Guild's strategy room, Ryuu's eyes widened, repeating the words Riveria had spoken.
​
"Yes, I've heard that Alfia had been suffering from a severe illness since birth. Even with Falna,' it couldn't be cured… Instead, it seemed to have manifested as a certain 'Skill.'"
​
Finn took over, to explain.
​
Not all "Magic" and "Skills" that manifest in the children who receive the divine blessing of a "Familia" are useful. Depending on the person’s aptitude, constitution, and hidden traits, abilities with only weaknesses can sometimes appear.
​
Alfia who was once a member of the Zeus and Hera Familias that protected Orario was no exception to that, said the prum.
​
"One could say that her incredible talent, or rather her abilities, come with a cost, a risk."
​
"It was Alfia’s one and only limitation that could never be healed by magic or items."
​
Finn and Riveria each revealed this information, causing Ryuu and the others to be taken aback as well.
​
"And then, Zard."
​
Seeing the reactions of Alise, Kaguya, and Lyra as they tried to process the information, Gareth brought up the other "conqueror."
​
"If Alfia's illness is 'congenital,' then Zard is suffering from an 'acquired' factor that’s rotting away at his body."
​
"'Acquired'…? And 'rotting away'…? What do you mean?"
​
In response to Kaguya's question, the dwarf seemed to cast his gaze somewhere, as if he was looking at the far past.
​
"During the battle with Behemoth, that took place before the defeat against the 'Black Dragon'… In the midst of that great battle, he was exposed to the 'great poison' of the monstrous Behemoth."
​
"!!"
​
One of the Three Great Quests of the past, the defeat of the “Behemoth."
​
Alise and Ryu were astonished by the "cost" that had occurred, in that deadly battle.
​
"Though it's top secret, Zard possessed a powerful 'Rare Skill' called 'Deus Ambrosia.' Its ability was 'Overeat,' which amplified his strength."
​
The information on each Familia and adventurer stored in the Guild is supposed to be confidential.
​
Some factions even hide their information from the Guild, fearing their information being leaked. However, from the start, the Zeus and Hera Familias have an inseparable relationship with the founding god of the city, Ouranos.. Despite finding it rather troublesome, they had reported their progress in the Dungeon, information on their Familia members, maps of each floor, conditions for obtaining "Development Abilities," and growth models of their "Status." This contributed to the foundations of the Labyrinth City known today.
​
The thousand-year history of Orario that was made with the progress of the two strongest factions, Zeus and Hera.
​
And within that stored history, the hidden information about Zard and Alfia was there.
​
After Zeus and Hera were exiled, the Loki Familia requested the Guild to disclose this information.
​
In order to entrust hope to the next generation of "hero candidates," Ouranos granted permission to Royman, who accepted this request.
​
The shock that Finn and the others felt when they saw the information on the former strongest adventurers was immeasurable. Each and every one of them had extraordinary abilities.
​
Among them, Zard was at the top.
​
"As the name “Gluttony”' suggests, by consuming beasts, humans, and monsters, his Status would increase during the activation of the 'Skill.'"
​
"What…?! He becomes stronger just by eating?! That’s worse than a cheat, it’s insane!"
​
"Of course, depending on what he consumed, there would only be minor changes. The stronger the target, the more his Status would increase."
​
Ignoring Lyra’s outburst, Gareth continued the explanation.
​
"I've heard he consumed everything from Dungeon materials, the flesh of his dead Familia members... but the one he ate most were monsters.”
​
"…No way."
​
"Yes, Zard ate the Behemoth. In order to win the battle, he directly devoured the flesh of the colossal beast that held deadly poison."
​
Gareth confirmed Ryu's shuddering premonition with closed eyes.
​
"The poisonous flesh of an ancient monster that could corrode everything, dissolve anything, and destroy all ... Zard gained massive power, enough that he was able to defeat the enemy in one blow. However, the price was enormous. The Behemoth's flesh that he consumed corrupted Zard from within, causing his body to rot away."
​
Upon learning the truth behind the battle against Behemoth, the Astraea Familia was left speechless.
​
Although people would feel a strong disgust to devour the flesh of monsters, the man had taken in a mass of death itself. All to defeat a formidable enemy, or rather to protect his comrades.
​
Having learned everything, Alise and the others understood the meaning of the words "acquired" that Gareth had mentioned earlier.
​
"A 'living hell' that he could never be free from. Like Alfia, he also became bound by a powerful constraint."
​
"That's awful…"
​
"…Being cursed by the monster you killed, huh. It sounds like a story from some hero's tale,"
​
Dropping a comment that couldn't even feel sarcastic, Lyra frowned
​
"”Gluttony” and “Silence” were the key players in the battles of Behemoth and Leviathan However, it was because of those battles that Zard was forced to step down from the frontlines, and Alfia's condition worsened."
​
"So their 'weaknesses' are…"
​
"Yes, They have a “time limit”. The longer the time passes, the worse their conditions become."
​
Alise realized the core of the issue,while Riveria summarized the explanation, and Finn concluded.
​
"If anyone other than Ottar were to defeat Zard and Alfia, the only way would be to exhaust them with a long battle."
​
"…How do we know that the enemy still has a 'time limit'? They attacked Orario so brazenly, we can't rule out the possibility that the poison and illness have been completely healed. In the first place, I can't believe that those monsters have handicaps."
​
Lyra remained skeptical until the end about the countermeasures against Zard and Alfia that Finn presented.
​
While appreciating the girl's attitude of never allowing optimism and always assuming the worst as a cold, calculating strategist, Finn presented the "evidence."
​
"You're right, Thrail. However, there's also evidence that supports our assumptions."
​
"Evidence…?"
​
"Yeah. The night the 'Great Feud' broke out, Zard and the others didn't finish us off and instead chose to withdraw. If that wasn't just for show, but a 'retreat' due to their constraints…"
​
With those words, Alise and Kaguya gasped in realization.
​
"Ah… so the enemy couldn't attack even if they wanted to? They needed to let their bodies rest after fighting!
​
"That would also explain why it took a while before they appeared before us again…"
​
Finn nodded in response.
​
"And there's one more piece of proof. Evilus had engaged in multiple secret operations leading up to the 'Great Feud.'"
​
He looked back on the activities of Evilus, as if this was the core point.
​
It was the information gathered mainly by the Hermes Familia and carefully examined by Astraea, Loki, and Freya both ten days ago and two days ago.
​
"The attack on the Industrial District to seize the “magic stone devices” was for creating suicide equipment, so we'll exclude that. But there were still two suspicious activities…"
​
Gareth continued Finn's words.
​
"The movement of the “believers” were mainly active… in 'Dedain.'"
​
Lastly, Riveria connected the information that even Ryuu had heard from her acquaintance Ardi to the main issue.
​
"And the other one, the 'branches of the Great Holy Tree'…"
​
​
​
​
​
"'Dedain' is the name of the region where the 'Black Desert' is, the place where the battle against Behemoth took place…"
​
Even now, Floor 18 was engulfed in flames.
​
Standing on the cliff, Astraea uttered the same conclusion that her Familia had reached.
​
"I've heard that in that land, which had been exposed to the Behemoth's “poison” for years, a certain 'medicinal herb' that never withers grows there now.”
​
"Very perceptive. Yes, we had the 'believers' gather the herbs of that land. It’s an “antidote material” needed to calm Zard’s symptoms."
​
Erebus readily admitted the answer, even without Astraea’s explanation.
​
"So, the branches of the elves' Holy Tree are…"
​
"Yes, It’s a medicine for 'incurable diseases.' By boiling and drinking the branches of the fairies, that have abundant magical power, Alfia’s symptoms, grow slightly better.”
​
Both were items to keep their "weaknesses" at bay.
​
It was all part of the preparations for sending the "conquerors" to battle.
​
"──No wonder the “points” didn’t connect. The magic stone devices, the branches of the Great Holy Tree, and the secret activities in Dedain all had their own purpose."
​
At the same time, on the surface, Hermes shrugged.
​
The Hermes Familia, who had quickly grasped Evilus' covert activities outside the city, finally reached the answer when Zard and Alfia appeared on the night of the "Great Feud" and promptly shared their information with Finn and the others.
​
The number of times the enemy's trump card could be played, and the time they had, were limited.
​
That's why Finn never gave up hope and faced the final battle between justice and evil today.
​
"Suicide equipment, Zard and Alfia. Evilus had been carefully preparing these three trump cards."
​
Hermes declared, as if seeing the one chance to victory.
​
"And that is the best 'evidence' that explains the current state of 'Gluttony' and 'Silence'──"
​
​
​
​
"Gahh, kahh…! Gufh…!"
​
Blood continued to gush out endlessly.
​
It never stopped.
​
With the blood staining her sickly pale, translucent skin, Alfia never ceased coughing.
​
"…How much blood are you going to spit out?"
​
Even Kaguya was taken aback by the sight.
​
"…How many years have you been carrying that pain in your body?"
​
Ryuu couldn't help but ask as she looked at her.
​
"…Who knows? I don't know how to describe this. I was born with it. You can't explain how blood runs through your body either, can you?"
​
Alfia’s whose coughs had finally subsided, answered while wiping her mouth with her slender arm.
​
"Ah, how frustrating… an accursed illness that even killed the little sister that was my other half. If it weren't for this, could I have defeated the 'Black Dragon'?"
​
It was the woman's resentment. And her curse.
​
Despite the loss of her blood-related sister, she held a dark view for herself who still couldn't defeat the "Black Dragon".
​
"Then, I wouldn’t have to deal with all this noise or such pitying gazes from all of you…"
​
The gazes of Neze, Noin, Ryana, Maryuu, Iska, Asta, and Celty which pierced her, made Alfia’s face twist.
​
The witch's lament was correct.
​
If it weren't for the "incurable disease," "Silence" would have wiped out the "Astraea Familia” a long time ago.
​
The earring accessory "Alfia Verador."
​
And Riveria's "Veil Breath."
​
The decisive attacks released at the turning point of the first half of the battle were stopped by these two elements, which determined the course of this long fight. If Alfia had won there, her victory would have been unshakable.
​
Since the start of the battle, Alfia's condition had been deteriorating at a rapid pace.
​
It was as if she was being inflicted with Anti-Status magic every second.
​
──The opponent's strength, magic power, and reaction speed are decreasing.
​
Alise’s intuition was right. The decline in Alfia’s combat abilities was significant.
​
The name of that "Skill" is "Gif Blessing."
​
In exchange for the constant Limit Off of her Status, during combat and illness, she experiences multiple "Status Abnormalities" such as "poison," "paralysis," and "dysfunction," and her Status, stamina, and mind, continuously decrease for a semi-permanent duration. It's a "price for the calamitous talent," far worse than any curse's compensation.
Longest part I've worked on so far. Hope you enjoy the clarification on this part from the games and the extra lore about Z/H.

I'm trying to theorycraft Solipsist builds that revolve around the Psionic/Discharge talents, mostly to see if I can get one to work since Discharge is an interesting mechanic but underwhelming in practice.
The problem is that each Mind Sear bolt costs 5 Feedback to fire, with additional bolts awarded for every 15 Feedback we receive in excess of the maximum. With 5/5 in all the relevant talents (which is more difficult since Feedback is generic) our pool can hold 150 Feedback, decaying at about 8 Feedback per turn from Biofeedback; add on the 25 Feedback to fire 5 bolts per turn, and we somehow need to gain at least 33 Feedback per turn. Amplification grants us Feedback equal to 1/3 of damage taken. So we somehow need to take 100 damage per turn (I think this is calculated after armor and resistances but before the additional ~25% reduction from Solipsism).
We'll get some of this from naturally incoming damage, but we also want to win, so we don't want a build that relies on facetanking an entire Orc Pride to work. We also get the feedback our Thought-Form gains, which can be a decent source, but we'd like to use our Thought-Form for map control and luring enemies into Mind Sear range.
This got me to thinking of ways we could damage ourselves to gain the required Feedback. Curse of Death popped out to me: we can get it from an escort, it's predictable damage over time, and as a Mindpower user, we can calibrate our Spellpower to deliver just the right amount of damage to supplement natural incoming damage to ourselves and our Thought-Forms.
Unfortunately, yesterday I discovered that you apparently can't curse yourself - if you cast Curse of Death on yourself, it seems that you automatically shrug it off.
Does anyone have any other ideas on how to deal ourselves damage over time? I know you can damage yourself with some of the area effects, but most are either not accessible, or have other downsides (i.e. a wand of lightning storm will damage us... and also leave us Dazed. This is fine - Dazed doesn't interrupt Mind Sear - but causes issues if we need to run away from the fight).

2)
In addition to making a trip between 3 different "(star) systems" without FTL within at most a few months, and clearly having the ability to pick between all kinds of systems to choose to go to without FTL (even if limited by "somewhere around here", of course), as highlighted in this earlier thread:
https://old.reddit.com/MauLecomments/11hki5e/ot_discontinuity_thread_number_3_schroedingers/ ""OT discontinuity" thread number 3: Schroedinger's gigantic space distances"
, an additional aspect of this scene here:

"With the rest of the garbage... Then what?"
"Then we gotta find a safe port somewhere around here... Any ideas?"
"No, where are we?"
"The Anoat system."
"Anoat system, there's not much there..."
"No...
Oh, wait - this is interesting... Lando!"
"Lando system?"
"Lando's not a system, he's a man; Lando Calrissian. Card player, gambler - scoundrel, you'd like him."
"Thanks..."
"Bespin, it's pretty far, but I think we can make it..."
"... A mining colony?"
"Yeah, a tibanna gas mine. Lando conned somebody out of it... We go back a long way, Lando and me."

is that this is the 1st time traveling to Lando ever occurs to Han - does he just pop into existence (with a fully (or partially) formed past) in that very moment?
They're looking for a place "somewhere around here", a place they could reach without hyperspace within a reasonable amount of time or something (or perhaps without losing their fuel) - and the place they've found themselves at here, the "Anoat system", also isn't that far away from Hoth;
so if all it took Han to learn / be reminded of the fact that Lando is residing "nearby", was to spend like 10 seconds looking at his blue display screen, why hadn't they looked around who was residing near their new rebel base all this time - and learned that Lando was among them?
This would've certainly been some kind of potential fact of interest, given the Rebels' as well as Han's unstable position and possible need for refuge or assistance or who knows what, if particular situations were to arise.
And that's provided Han did learn new things from that screen, as opposed to just being reminded of what he already "knew" - in which case his years-long obliviousness would be even less explicable, since now all he would've had to do was just think of Lando, without even having to go through space charts for 20 seconds.
That's whom he got his current spaceship from... something one would think ought to have been closer to the surface of his mind this whole time.
(And it's really quite impossible to tell from the scene which parts of what he tells Leia about are his own additional knowledge, or new information he's seeing on the screen - which may or may not be reminding him of further knowledge that he already has - but Leia is struggling to catch for some unclear reason.
Is the text on the screen encrypted / in a different language/alphabet?
Or is it no text and just graphics/maps/images that Han for some reason gets more information out of than Leia is able to?
She manages to see that it's a "mining colony" - but he clarifies that it's a "tibanna gas mine"; is that also explained on the screen but only comprehensible for him, or is he already familiar with this mine? Or this "type" of mine?
He says "this is interesting" as if he did just see something that was news to him - but what could that be? The fact that Lando happens to be nearby running this mine that he's already familiar with somehow?
Or did he see something that made him indirectly recognize that Lando's involved? But how would that work?
It's rather clear that there are no words on this screen that Leia can read, because:

Han: "Then we gotta find a safe port somewhere around here... [blue light...] Any ideas?"
Leia: "No, where are we?"
Han: "The Anoat system." [.../blue light]
Leia: "Anoat system, there's not much there..." [blue light...]
Han: "No..." [.../blue light]

Somehow they have no idea which system they're in (just how many star systems did they cross on their way from Hoth to the asteroid field to now?), and need the information from that blue viewing screen to learn that they're in the "Anoat system";
and Leia is apparently unable to read this information from the screen despite looking at it intently, since she asks "where are we" while it's beaming blue light into their faces - however Han can read it and learns that it's the Anoat system. (Which she then turns out to already have been familiar with, enough to know "there's not much there.)
All in all it's not entirely clear why Leia is lagging behind him in reading that screen - while Han is seemingly getting some kind of unclear combination of new information, things he recognizes, and/or things he's being reminded of.)
Although more precisely, he doesn't mention he got the ship from him either (only saying "they go way back"), that's only "revealed" in their subsequent meeting when Han tells him the ship is damaged - so does THAT piece of history also pop into existence at that very moment?
Just like Lando hadn't existed before Han opened that particular slide on his blue viewing screen?
Can an old friend with a history + a gas mine pop into existence in the middle of a scene, the way a man can pop into existence inside a casino's prison cell?

"We go back a long way, Lando and me."
"D-d-don't let the wrapper fool you, friend... Me and the First Order codage... - go way back. And-t-t-t-the.... ..If the price is right... - I can break you into old man Snoke's boudoire."

And there are two additional questions arising from this pivotal scene:
2a)
Aside from the question what would happen to the Falcon if their Stardestroyer had gone into hyperspace with them on the hull (without warning, and without having dumped the garbage first in accordance with their protocol, giving them the opportunity to detach unnoticed) - what makes Han think the Stardestroyers are gonna go into lightspeed?
And why are they going into lightspeed?

"Lord Vader - our ships have completed their scan of the area and found nothing. If the Millennium Falcon went into lightspeed, it'll be on the other side of the galaxy by now."
"Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory."
"Yes, my Lord. We'll find them." "Don't fail me again - Admiral."
"Alert all commands. Deploy the fleet."

Does "deploy the fleet" mean go into hyperspace, and why would the do that? Either the Falcon had jumped into hyperspace and could now literally be anywhere, or it didn't and is still somewhere around here.
And Vader said to calculate their trajectories.
So why are they jumping into lightspeed, where are they going?

"The fleet's beginning to break up.

Does that necessarily mean they're gonna go into hyperspace? As opposed to splitting to go search for the Falcon in the surrounding area?

"Well, if they follow standard Imperial procedure, they'll dump their garbage before they go to lightspeed, and then we'll just float away."

Well, if it was just a guess and then it turned out they weren't jumping to lightspeed, at least nothing bad would've happened - however Han seems really sure that it'll happen, and then it does. How and why again?
2b)

"Transfer circuits aren't working."

Has anyone confirmed that this means they now definitely can't fix their hyperdrive on their own, and need external help now?
They noticed that while in the middle of a desperate situation:

"One more direct hit on the back quarter and we're done for."

, but no one said they had no options left if they got out of that hairy situation and could calmly take a look at those transfer circuits?
So now that they've found themselves in this lucky situation with all the Imperial ships having zipped away from the area (for reasons about as inexplicable as the Falcon's success at hiding from them on the hull of the Stardestroyer and no one managing to think of it aside from Boba Fett) - why have they seemingly completely abandoned that line, instead of resuming their work as they're floating among the garbage, or after flying away from it?
If they succeeded, they wouldn't have to rely on "finding a safe port", or Lando fixing it, or any of that, and could head directly to the rebel base....
So why even look through all those charts of space ports when their Plan A should've been

"Well, if they follow standard Imperial procedure, they'll dump their garbage before they go to lightspeed, and then we'll just float away."
"With the rest of the garbage... Then what?"
"Then we gotta find a safe port somewhere around here...

to float away and then start working on their hyperdrive; and then maybe contemplate other options if that completely failed and turned out to be hopeless?
3)
So the Emperor is a "plain man" in Ep4, but is then Vader's Force Master in Ep5 - not much more needs to be said here?
Alongside with this drastic retcon, there's also a general subgenre shift that takes place between ANH and ESB:
in the first, the Empire is primarily a "space fascist" government, militaristic technocracts that have one high-ranking sorcerer-knight among their ranks - he's the last remnant of the magician order that they wiped out in order to get into power;
however in the second, the Empire is Space Mordor led by a Dark Lord and his right-hand Dark Lord Knight, the latter of whom operates from a demonic-looking fortress ship with red lights - and all the admirals and officers are no longer individuals with their own ambitions, agendas and views, but rather glorified minions doing their masters' bidding on the pain of death.
The Ep7-9 trilogy is seen playing around with the juxtaposition between these 2 paradigms, when Kylo takes over as Supreme Leader and now starts pushing all those previously confident and autonomous fascist higher-ups with their own views and voices around and forcing them to follow along.
4-5 don't show such a "development" however - even if one can be assumed to have taken place off-screen.
(Just as it's possible to suggest that the Emperor has revealed himself as a Dark Lord at some point between 4 and 6, after having kept it secret initially - and that this is therefore not a real retcon.
However that's just an interpretation that relies on an huge assumption.)
So then when the ST presents another "subgenre shift" by having lightsabers act more like Excalibur, or the Sith having a forbidden Black Speech language (or having Rey instantly instinctively download new Force powers like the Matrix or Marvel mutants), then yes, that's what's going on here - however it's also true that the OT has pulled this sort of thing before, reinventing its genre and continuity in the very 1st sequel.
4a)

"To protect you both from the Emperor, you were hidden from your father when you were born. The Emperor knew, as I did - if Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be a threat to him.
That is the reason why your sister remains safely anonymous."

Aside from the most obvious question of "why then NOT have Luke also anonymous and instead have him live with his real family, under all their real names, with "Ben" living right next to them also under his real surname" - which of course would've already been the way to go even in ANH's "Luke's father was killed by Vader" continuity - the slightly less obvious question arising from this piece of information is:
If Luke was "hidden" "after he was born", does that mean he was initially born way elsewhere, and then given (as in ""hidden"") to Owen and Beru?
In which case the obvious next question is (which still applies to the RotS ending, even with all its altered continuity issues), why not hide him with Obi-Wan instead - so he can raise him into a Jedi hero from the get go, all in secret and properly anonymous and far away from his family's known home at that?
In addition to properly taking care of the world's "only hope (or one of 2, anyway)", it would've also freed up Obi-Wan to do all kinds of useful things throughout the galaxy, trying to influence things in a positive direction, and available as an asset to the nascent and eventually fully emerged Rebellion;
this way however, he's now stuck on Tatooine, seemingly completely inactive in all of this until Leia's message, because he now has to guard Luke all the time whom his family is emphatically keeping close to home and away from the cause?
Before this line, and within ANH, it seemed like Luke had simply been already born into his family, and Obi-Wan simply didn't want to forcibly take him away from them or even go against Owen's wishes to keep him away from his father's light saber, all the relevant truths, and so on (plus, hey, maybe that was even literally impossible cause it would've "led to the Dark Side" or something - like Gandalf forcibly taking the Ring to do good, or something) - so he had no choice but to stay on Tatooine and prevent himself from being a great asset to the emerging Rebellion.
But now it turns out they apparently voluntarily gave Luke to his family, leading to this outcome? Well, maybe Owen started out with a different attitude but then soured on the idea of exposing Luke to the truth - although he had already been against his brothecousin leaving and getting involved, so wouldn't really much seem that way.
(Of course, the "in order to watch over Luke" reason for Obi-Wan living there as a hermit wasn't ever explicitly stated in 4 or 5-6 - it could be very reasonably concluded to have been the reason, but it still wasn't stated; and certainly didn't have to be the only reason for this choice.
What could some of the other reasons have been? Intending to hide as much as possible from the Empire, lest some kind of "not absolutely crucial and most desperate hour" involvement with the Rebellion compromised him and endangered his potential role in some, well, absolutely-crucial-and-most-desperate-hour task down the line - i.e. like the Death Star destruction? As well as his role as Luke's protector?
Not absurd, except a lot of his behavior in ANH of course isn't consistent with that mindset - from the "real surname" thing, to not thinking about the Empire searching for these droids until seeing the destroyed Sandcrawler, to displaying his lightsaber in a bar with Stormtroopers looking for them outside on the streets;
however those behaviors "inconsistent with the imperative to lead a hidden life" don't automatically disprove the presence of such an imperative outside of these inexplicable deviations.
Some yet entirely different reason for living as a quiet hermit and having cut himself off from the cause? Even having forgotten details from his past active life, like "having owned R2", or seemingly not having even thought about his real name for a long time, in addition to not having heard it?
And of course a related question is why no one had contact him until this moment - was he only known as a potential asset to Leia and her father, and really no one else? Or they knew not to contact him unless absolutely necessary?

"I'm getting too old for this sort of thing..."

Well there certainly was a period where he wasn't too old and would've been of much more help than baby Luke, right? So why was LUKE the "only hope" and not Obi-Wan while he was alive and not too old?
Loads of unresolved questions here.
4b)
So albeit "safely anonymous", Leia was then given to an adoptive father (let's call him "Organa Sr.") whom "Obi-Wan had served during the Clone Wars";
a possibly prominent figure from the Clone Wars, that shouldn't have been unknown to the Empire or Vader (who now is the Skywalker Sr. who fought in the same (Clone) wars as Organa Sr. and Obi-Wan), and someone who'd go on to become an active Rebel (and possibly had been a proto-Rebel from the get go, analogously to Bail) - and Leia then also joins, either raised to do so from the start, or autonomously perhaps even despite her "father's" efforts, who knows.
So was this whole outcome in accordance with the original intention to "protect the children from Vader and the Emperor" (while also having them as the "only hope" to topple them)? Like, Leia remains anonymous, but as a prominent figure of the Rebellion, not "safe from Vader" in any way - except from getting pulled into the Dark Side that is - and in fact almost gets executed.
How much worse would it have been to start training her in the Force, if she was already a prominent Rebel with a huge target on her back?
Or would Organa Sr. also have been against this somehow? No indications for that.
Or was this outcome not in accordance with their intentions, and Leia was supposed to keep a low profile before quietly being recruited into the Only-Hope apprenticeship?
Did Obi-Wan only find out about all this now, having had no clue what's going with that other sibling? Or was he fully aware and up to date (despite having such a buried recollection of his name and active life)?
Questions here as well.
HOWEVER - this is firmly "well duh, of course the Leia=sister reveal was invented on the fly and makes no sense if you go back to 4 - RotJ has big issues after all" territory now, so there's less of a need to keep covering this "a lot more obvious" ground here now;
and I've been told that EFAP are in fact "RotJ skeptics" to at least some extent - so until I know more about that extent, going through more points (and there are quite a few) and potentially getting increasingly redundant might be a bit pointless.
However one further thing probably worth highlighting here, given its high relevance to the ST:
4b.1)
Has anyone noticed how there's essentially 3 different Leias in RotJ?
It's kinda of very similar to Padme/Amidala, who switches between several personas/personalities/attitudes depending on dress/appearance or the chapter in the story - though not quite as extreme, one might think.
There's the almost Blues Brothers like version that shows up to free Han (not quite counting the "bounty hunter role" and "slave" phases of that chapter), there's the "normal" friendly-but-sarcastic-and-assertive Rebel General version, and then there's the emphatically diminutive and vulnerable "Ewok princess" one - before she changes back to the "General" personality in the final act following this scene here:

"If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for the Alliance."
"Don't talk that way - you have a power I don't understand... and could never have."
"You're wrong, Leia - you have that power, too. In time, you'll learn to use it as I have. The Force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And... my sister has it."

So the obvious question here is, is it "RotJ Leia" who's suddenly never had any hint of Force powers and sensed Luke hanging on below Cloud City, or is it just this particular version of her within RotJ?

"Yes. It's you, Leia."
"I know. Somehow... I've always known."

This sounds like a semi-psychic intuition of some sort, or at least it makes one think of psychic abilities since she's supposed to have dormant talent in that area - however since it's described as having been a subconscious kind of thing that she's only realized now, it doesn't really contradict the "I could never have these powers, since I'm definitely not related to your wizard bloodline" from seconds ago.
However this "somehow known that Luke is her brother" is clearly not taking place in the same continuity as "somehow known that Luke is in trouble under Cloud City", just to highlight this point an additional time.
So in TFA, Leia appears to be a "regular" person, knowing much about the Force just like Han but showing no signs of having access to it herself, or seen talking about it in any way distinct from how Han talks about it - except the moment where she senses a disturbance when Han is killed.
Then in TLJ, there are no psychic moments before or after, except the part where she shows powers while frozen in space and floats inside a ship, while an emphatic version of her leitmotif is played - almost as if the movie suddenly remembers how this side of her character has been neglected too much and at least 1 epic moment like this was needed;
at the very end, she and Rey talk about they've sensed Luke's death.
And finally in TroS (but using archive footage, originally intended for the earlier movies I think?) Leia turns out to be a full Jedi Master now training super-Rey, and is also shown in a lightsaber flashback with Luke;
in the movies the way they were released, where was all of that in TFA, or even TLJ? Leia seemed to be slightly psychic there, someone who's never really worked on or developed these sklls after all, but shows being tuned into it at the very least in the most dramatic moments - but who could've guessed she was a full ultra-Master who could've been giving lessons and instructions that whole time, incl. when interacting with Rey?
Lots of off-screen development between these 2 happened at some unspecified point.
However... it'd be prudent to remember that this confusion and cognitive dissonance about just how magical Leia was supposed to be after showing emerging powers in Ep5, started right then and there in 1983, and the Sequels merely inherited this already schizophrenic and contradictory legacy and naturally only continued the confusion, forgetfulness and cognitive dissonance instead of successfully "fixing" it in some way.
(One could say the same also applies to most every other aspect of 7-9 and 4-6, in fact.)
And fittingly enough, the film with the least cohesive seeming vision, TLJ that is, is the one that pulls the bizarre "oh f, we need Leia to be magical, completely forgot that!" moment - while the other 2 movies with the much more coherent tone and approaches are the ones that at least committed to 1 interpretation/version of her character each, respectively, in mostly convincing ways:
TFA to the "almost non-psychic" one, and TRoS to the "full-on Jedi Master" - amounting to a splintered narrative, just like RotJ was, and the 1st 2 films as well (even if not necessarily with Leia's character in particular - although even then, it's clear that ESB decided to leave the whole "princess trope" emphasized so much in the 1st movie behind, in all but name - somewhat justified in-universe by them having been chased off Yavin where they had some kinda old culture and huge throne rooms going on; then again them having been chased out into a cold outpost goes against ANH's sequel set-up, see 1st thread).

J'ai donc récemment fait un post où j'ai calculé les appariements optimaux pour Birthright en me basant sur le [guide d'appariement] de Shephen (https://np.reddit.com/fireemblem/comments/4549gy/fatespairing_recommendation_compilation/).
J'ai reçu tellement de demandes pour faire les versions Conquest et Revelations... que je l'ai fait ! Un grand merci à LaqOfInterest, simsims2822, et TrainerRei pour m'avoir fourni des tableaux formatés de la matrice de romance Conquête/Révélations. Encore une fois, toute la gloire et les louanges au grand et éternellement mal orthographié Shephen pour avoir fait le guide d'appariement original.
Hoshido/Birthright, Score total:32

• Score Ryoma/Kagero (2)
• Score Saizo/Orochi(2)
• Score Takumi/Azura(5)
• Score Hinata/Hana(2)
• Azama/Felicia Score(4)
• Score Subaki/Oboro (1)
• Score Kaden/Mozu(5)
• Score Hayato/Sakura(2)
• Score Jakob/Setsuna (4)
• Silas/Hinoka Score(2)
• Kaze/Rinkah Score(3)

NohConquest, Score total:29

• Score Jakob/Nyx (5)
• Silas/Selena Score(2)
• Score ArthuEffie(2)
• Score Odin/Elise(3)
• Niles/Mozu Score(3)
• Kaze/Beruka Score(2)
• Score Laslow/Azura(4)
• Score Leo/Felicia(2)
• Score Keaton/Camilla(2)
• Score Benny/Peri (3)
• Score XandeCharlotte (1)

Révélations/IK, Note totale:47

• Score ArthuEffie(2)
• Azama/Felicia Score(4)
• Benny/Camilla Score(3)
• Score Hayato/Nyx (2)
• Score Hinata/Setsuna (2)
• Score Jakob/Charlotte (2)
• Score Kaden/Rinkah (3)
• Kaze/Beruka Score(2)
• Score Keaton/Hana(2)
• Laslow/Peri Score(2)
• Score Leo/Sakura(2)
• Niles/Mozu Score(3)
• Score Odin/Elise(3)
• Score Ryoma/Kagero (2)
• Score Saizo/Orochi(2)
• Silas/Selena Score(2)
• Score Subaki/Oboro (1)
• Score Takumi/Azura(5)
• Score XandeHinoka (3)
  

FAQ :

Q : Pourquoi cette liste n’inclut-elle pas l’AvataMU ?
R : Il/elle est le meilleur jumelage pour n'importe quelle unité simple parce que vous pouvez adapter le boon/bane/talent de l'avatar pour donner les meilleurs kid/bonus. Ainsi, ajouter le MU à la liste compliquerait inutilement les choses sans ajouter beaucoup d'informations réelles.
Q : Où dois-je mettre l'avatar masculin/féminin?
R : Où vous voulez. Sérieusement, remplacez simplement l'avatar par le partenaire de la personne que vous voulez épouser et la liste sera toujours optimale à 95 %. Il y a un petit bémol : en associant un Avatar masculin à une dame de 1ère génération, il sera impossible de recruter toutes les unités enfant. Si vous n'êtes pas d'accord de perdre un enfant, vous devrez jumeler le MaMU avec l'un des enfants ou un avatar-sexuel (comme Scarlet ou Flora).
Q : Qu'est-ce que le score signifie? re est une R : J'explique exactement comment le score fonctionne dans le fil de discussion original, mais la version profane est que le sco mesure de l'adéquation des unités entre elles. Comme au golf, un score plus bas est meilleur.
Q : Pourquoi avez-vous fait cela?
R : Je suis un nerd qui aime Fire Emblem, les mathématiques, les statistiques et les problèmes d'optimisation. Je m'ennuyais pendant le week-end et je l'ai fait comme un problème d'entraînement.
Q : Mais OP, quel est le couple le plus mignon?
A : Camilla x Kagero. Pour quatre très grandes raisons.
**Q : Mais il n'y a que 12 à 16 emplacements par chapitre ! Qui dois-je choisir pour éliminer les membres de l'équipe ?
R : En utilisant le Hoshido et Conquête fils de révision de l'unité. Une fois que vous avez choisi qui couper, les unités restantes peuvent être ré-optimisées en utilisant la même technique que la liste principale. J'ai donné quelques exemples d'unités de coupe (élagage) dans le dernier post, je ne vais donc pas entrer dans les détails ici.

I have what I believe to be the best take on a thorns/survivability based barbarian.
I can literally stand in boss mechanics the whole fight without using ANY potions, and come out with full HP at the end. Heres a quick link to the build on talent calculator (I know it says lvl 31 or something but you get bonus skill points through various stuff in the game):
Talents
Explanation of the build:
BASIC, CORE:

1. Start out with flay -> combat flay.
   1. This will give you 12% dr at 4 stacks of flay plus around 400 thorns at lvl 25.
   2. This is also necessary to get to core skills
2. Get rend -> furious rend.
   1. This is a high damage ability to get you through early levels.
   2. The extra fury generation will allow for higher uptime on the bleed.
3. Get whirlwind -> furious whirlwind Instead of Rend ONLY IF you get the legendary affix that pulls enemies in on whirlwind
   1. This will help dish out your thorns fastebetter since enemies will hit you easier up close.

DEFENSIVE:
This is where you will dump most of your skill points.

1. Start by speccing into outburst, giving you thorns.
   1. Keep putting points into this skill until you have 3 points in the defensive section.
2. At 3 points, get challenging shout -> Strategic challenging shout by removing the points in thorns
   1. This gives you thorns equal to 50% of your maximum life which is easy to buff up with items and rubies in armor slot sockets to an absurd number.
   2. This can be like 250 thorns or more at lvl 25, which combined with flay will be around 600-700 thorns on its own.
3. Get outburst and tough as nails (1 point each, gives thorns and %thorns)
4. Get rallying cry -> strategic rallying cry and Iron skin -> tactical iron skin
   1. These are your huge survivability and healing tools.
   2. Order doesnt matter but I prefer rallying cry first for the fortify and for the movement speed.

FINISHING THE BUILD:

1. (Weapon Mastery) Get 1 point into Thick skin (weapon mastery section) asap.
   1. This makes you passively gain fortify and stay at close to 100% fortify since enemies will keep hitting you
2. (Defensive) Get 3/3 in Imposing presence for 15% max HP to give you more thorns from Challenging shout activation
3. (Brawling) Get 3/3 in booming voice for higher fortify/thorns uptime from your shouts, and 1 point in raid lead for more HP regen during your shouts uptime

ITEMIZATION:

1. Aspect of Tempering Blows (Fortify on Weapon Swap x6) and use dual wield for flay and a different weapon for WW/Rend depending on what you have
   1. This should allow you to build up fortify very fast
2. Aspect of the Iron Warrior (Iron Skin grants Unstoppable and x% Damage Reduction)
3. Try to get the aspect/power "reduce shout cd by x seconds per enemy nearby, up to 12 seconds"
4. Try to get "your whirlwind periodically pulls enemies in", this is when you swap from rend -> ww
5. Try to get an item with a skill point into either leap or charge for mobility.
6. Needleflare Aspect - Thorns damage dealt has a 20% chance to deal damage to all enemies around you (not sure if this is available yet)

GAMEPLAY:

• Mash your shouts on CD
• Maintain 4 stacks of flay often
• Use Iron Skin to break immobilize effects and to heal up a bunch (the lower your hp when you use it, the bigger the barrier and the more you heal)
• Whirlwind/Rend to pull enemies in or deal supplementary damage

Enjoy standing inside of/ignoring mechanics in the game while being at full hp and never using potions.
Edit: other good aspects are Quickening Pulse and Numbing Wrath.

There's a specter haunting the sub... the specter of... Oh fuck, this bit is played out, isn't it?
Hello everyone, it's been a couple years since my piece asking people to chill about calling things fascist. Just long enough for everyone to forget it and the problem to come right back!
But that essay is a companion to today's topic, as is this ever relevant video by FoldingIdeas about The Thermian Argument.
Today, I want to talk about diegetic essentialism, how it poisons discourse, and is a cynical ploy by corporations to get you to mindlessly consume their products. And, especially, how it's managed to infect Warhammer and Sigmarxism in particular.

Introduction: Don't be a DEckhead

If you Google the term "Diegetic Essentialism," the first result is....this sub? What the fuck? Did we make up this term? Shit, that can't be right.
Ok, so there are actually a lot of other terms to describe this phenomenon, which has become pandemic over the past decade. Lore brain, Wookipediaism, the Thermian Argument, Cinema Sins-esque, Funko Pop Sunnism (ok, I made up that last one too).
But being the fucking insufferable, over educated losers that we are, we decided the best label was diegetic essentialism. The perfect academia poisoned definition. Exactly descriptive, but so wrapped up in jargon, it can't be understood on its own. So what does it mean?
The diegesis is a work of fiction's "universe." It is the imaginary place where the story is unfolding. There's a joke that's common in movies that explains the concept perfectly. A soundtrack is played over the intro, and when the credits are finished, a character leans over and turns off the radio, cutting the song short. The joke being, you thought it was the film's soundtrack, something the characters can't hear, but it was actually diegetic sound, sound that existed "in that universe." The joke being that there kind of isn't a real difference (hyuk hyuk).
Essentialism just means the only valid thing. To be essentialist is to say that something has an underlying, a priori nature that cannot be denied.
Put em together? It means someone who thinks the only way to analyze, critique, or understand fiction is as though it were real. To the DEckhead (how I'll be referring to the diegetic essentialist from now on), a work of fiction is like a keyhole into an alternate universe as real as ours.
There's nothing inherently wrong with this, it's often how we enjoy something as a consumer. And the DEckhead is nothing if not a consoomer.
While we're watching a movie or reading a book, we allow ourselves to pretend like it's real. It's fun.
But when a normal person returns to reality, they understand that fiction not only isn't real, not only can't be real, but isn't intended to be, beyond the fun of enjoying it.
It is something which is produced by artists, authors, actors. It may or may not have clarity of purpose, themes, intended takeaways, cultural criticisms, etc. It might just be something someone thought was cool.
In a movie like, say, Scott Pilgrim (I know but it's a good example here), when Scott punches someone they burst into coins. This is obviously not intended to be real. In the "universe" of Scott Pilgrim, people are not made of coins, it's just a fun video game reference, an absurdist joke.
But this is true even in something like Superman. When Supe punches someone, he's not really punching someone. The physics of that would be like being impaled by a telephone pole. No, the punch is essentially metaphorical. Evil is defeated by the strength of justice. A punch is the psychologically satisfying, "non violent" way to do that. IRL it actually very easily could kill the petty criminal the same way a knife or a gun could, but it's something our brains can passively accept, it feels right.
This is a critical aspect of media comprehension. Most aspects of a story are thematic. They're not meant to be understood as literally real, but rather meant to evoke the feeling of something real.
The DEckhead does not understand this, or, chooses not to, and gets angry at people who don't follow along. To them, a fictional universe is a consistent, coherent place that exists beyond the boundaries of the text in question. And the only thing you're allowed to do is contribute to "the canon." A term which was literally invented as a joke that is now taken 100% seriously. Welcome to the internet, enjoy your signal decay.
Our sub's eternal enemy, 40klore, is a perfect example of this.
Always are they searching for "evidence" of what something is "really" like, or who would win what fight. You know the type.
Which primarch has the biggest dick? What does Shadowsun eat for breakfast? Questions that, even if an author explicitly spells them out, do not have answers, because they are not real.
Let me give you some other examples to give you an idea how absurd this exercise is:
Does Gandalf have colon cancer? Does Pikachu like dubstep? Did Captain Ahab have imposter syndrome? Hopefully, you're getting the idea. Characters exist to serve a story, they don't have a reality independent of that.
And the only thing that determines what happens next in a story is what an author decides will happen next. That's it. This is true even of historical fiction or works like The Martian, in which the original author went to great lengths to make it as "realistic" as possible. But "Realism" is essentially a genre trapping. It's like a lightsaber color, it's just there to help you enjoy the work. It can't be real.
So here's a great example from the sub that everyone isn't sick to death of, female space marines!
What does the DEckhead say? There can't be female marines because there's no geneseed for them. What does the other DEckhead say? Cawl could totally do it if he did primaris!
These answers are categorically wrong. There were female marines, but they didn't sell as well, and for logistical reasons, they were dropped. Lore was invented to justify this. And it stays that way because the cultivated identity of your marine consumer expects it to stay that way (we will talk about this term later), and would go Gamergate on GW if it changed. GW likes money, and not rocking the boat, so without a compelling reason to blow up their current fanbase, they maintain a piece of fluff so that it's "impossible." ("It's an easy fix! One line of dialogue, thank God we invented the uhh.. You know... Whatever, device.")
This is the only coherent answer. "Lore" reasons are for idiots, and are literally wrong. It's like thinking that Toucan Sam controls what goes into froot loops.
Of course, I'm not saying you can't enjoy fiction on its own terms. But when criticizing it, you must think of it in material terms, as a production made by authors with intent. Lest you fall into this mental trap.
So how is this relevant to us, and why is it bad? Seems straightforward right? Can we be done here?
Well, unfortunately, DE is the tip of a very ugly cultural iceberg. We have a lot to talk about. About late capitalism, about the tendency of the rate of profit to fall, and about how one of capitalism's new frontiers is our brains, and how they've been fully colonized.
Ugh, fuck, like my sister essay, this is way too long. We will break it up with memes and jokes. Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this.

Media saturation and the attention economy

Have you noticed recently that there's just, like, way too much shit?
Pick any medium: TV, streaming, books, games, movies, music, fuck, even board and tabletop games.
The production and sale of entertainment products is more voluminous than ever. The sheer quantity of things released, even good things, is so large, that even if it were your full time job, you couldn't keep up with just one of these mediums, let alone multiple.
Sometimes people in the same hobby, that like the same genre, maybe even the same property, won't have anything in common with each other.
It did not used to be this way. For better or for worse, "pop culture" used to mean pretty much everyone had seen something. In 1991, 22 million people watched the season finale of Dallas. Now, something with a 2 million person fanbase is considered strong.
As more and more media is produced, it is competing with an ever shrinking attention span. You literally don't have time for this shit.
What results is an alienated, fractured fan "community," one in which you're forced to seek out other atomized individuals to even know someone who's experienced the same thing as you.
And this problem is only getting worse. With the proliferation of choices, not only is there an ocean of garbage to wade through, but a calculation has to be made whether that thing is even worth experiencing if you'll never even meet someone else who has as well.
Ever scrolled through Netflix for hours and found nothing to watch? Ever paid good money for a game on steam and never once played it? How many books are you planning to eventually read, only to find that by the time you start, they're not relevant anymore?
There used to be a thought experiment in philosophy like this: if you had a superpower where you could make any movie you want, but only you could see it, would you want it?
That's not a thought experiment anymore, it is functionally true.
As a result, very few cultural properties have any lasting impact, and fewer still will even experience them. And so they become shallower as a result. They need to appeal to ever increasing crowds of people but still have nothing to say. How can you make a resonant cultural impact, when the culture is essentially a shattered mirror of little cultivated fandoms? How can you even know how to speak to people? This is, not coincidentally, why every show sounds like Twitter now.

The walled garden, the cultivated consumer identity

Corporations have a term they use, cultivated identity, to describe a marketing and sales strategy for how you break through an environment like this.
Now this part of things I'm not an expert in. A lot of people make a lot of money figuring this shit out. But the outline of it isn't hard to understand.
If you're selling people a product, you're kind of a sucker. The buyer gets to evaluate whether that product is worth their money, and you have to convince them that it is, based on its quality, with consequences involved for lying or falling short.
But what if instead, you could convince someone that the product is part of their identity? You're not a customer, you're a blorbo! And you can't wait for blorb 13, the blorbening!
What does it matter if it's good? A blorbo blorbs. Duh.
Obviously, I made this sound as stupid as possible. And yet, how many people call themselves gamers? Hobbyists? Superfans? YouTubers? Even "nerd" and "leftist" can fall into this category.
This isn't like being a film buff, which has expectations of expertise involved. And it's not like an ordinary fandom or genre appreciator, e.g., a metalhead. This is merely a consumer category. You get in the club by being someone continually buying into something, regardless of quality or expertise.
It's pernicious, and it's a highly effective way to cut through all the noise.
Why buy the next thing? Because it's your identity. You could avoid it, if you wanted. But then you're back to that screaming void of attempting to parse through an ocean of stuff based on its quality, which no one else may even know about. Worse, the more people become like this, the less you can relate to them unless you become the same thing.
How many of you have read all of the Horus Heresy novels, all 60-something of them, even though you can count on your fingers which ones aren't complete dogshit?
I own all the Broken Realms books, and I sit and defend AoS on this sub all the time. Why? That shit is online somewhere for free, and I don't give a shit what redditors think about a game I enjoy playing.
It's because GW colonized our brains. In order to keep you onboard, they want you thinking about Warhammer all the fucking time. They want it to be the only thing you consume.
Have you ever looked at something in real life and said, "hey! That's just like Warhammer!" But no, it obviously isn't. That's their marketing with its hooks in you. That's the brainworm they inserted so you'll keep coming back.
And now that I've mentioned this, you probably see it everywhere. Video games that demand they be the only things you play. Endless manga and anime that never has a satisfactory conclusion. TV or books that go on forever and have spinoffs and sequels and tie ins and etc etc etc.
This differs from just making more content for things that are popular. The goal of these kinds of franchises is to be totaling. Warhammer, in particular, is so impenetrable that you can't know it all (even if it is a mile wide and an inch deep, which is actually intentional.)
Marvel of course is the clear juggernaut here. You could live your entire life in a Marvel bubble, if you wanted to. There's that much content.
Shit, even things like apps have the same strategy. Endlessly consuming your attention, refusing to let you go long past when you're getting any use out of it. How often do you even remember what memes you looked at an hour after you put your phone down?
How do they cast this spell on us? Why does this work?

Competitive identity and fandom

And now we return to D.E., and its role in this.
Real media criticism is like the product comparison we made before. Is this a good fiction? Are its themes coherent? What were the authors trying to say? Were the performances good? Etc etc.
You may notice, these are essentially subjective questions, which are the bane of both capital and the hopeless nerd.
If I judge something as bad, it's not easy to convince me otherwise. So you need to pull the conversation away from that, into something "objective."
Enter diegetic essentialism. The goal here is not to evaluate any substantive question. The goal is to establish canon. Quality and artistic merit are essentially irrelevant. And the author might as well be god himself. Aloof and unknowable.
In a deeply bitter form of irony, many DEckheads actually invoke death of the author as evidence for why a story can only mean what its "canon" implies it means. Symbolism? Allegory? Metaphor? These things don't exist. Only "details." Details established by fan arguments.
In this environment, it becomes very difficult to relate actual media criticism to the cultivated identity DEckhead. It tends to annoy them, or "spoil the fun." You're evaluating quality and artistry? That's not why we're here, bucko.
For you to fit into these properties, and therefore not be lost in the cultural wasteland, you begin to compete to be the biggest "fan." The best lore understander, the most details knower, the most hours logged on, the takes haver.
What becomes important is not actual construction of meaning, talent in performance, or even just having a good time, it's constructing the cultural justification for why it's worth it to stay in this identity.
I know you know what I mean.
How often have you been roped in to an argument about the Tau? How long have you spent memorizing the details of battles that did not happen and aren't even consistent? How many marketing names do you know for troops that have slightly different weapons?
When you're trapped in DE, all you can do is talk about the details. Everyone is in the walled garden. You're not a visitor here, you're trapped.
When we say 40k sucks, what we mean is the vast majority of it is zero effort reactionary garbage. Sure, some of it isn't, but that's the exception.
GW rarely or never credits their authors and artists anymore (their newest paint teacher is hands only lmao). They regularly shit can excellent story ideas if they can't connect to minis sales.
How can this dreck be worth thinking about? It's not just that it isn't real, that's obvious. It's not even really trying.
And yet that won't stop 40klore from furiously discussing the implications of bimchus boltbutt falling to chaos, all one paragraph written about it. And it won't stop someone else from spending two hours digging through wikis (which are like religious monuments dedicated to DE) to "prove" or "disprove" something that was never real and will be overwritten by the next book anyway.
Most of you are subconsciously aware of this. Be honest, when was the last time you really read any of the books? Compare that to how often you read a wiki instead, or, god help us, watched a "loretuber."
It's not your fault, it's because it's bad. It's not worth reading 80% of these things. Your brain rebels against it.
At one point, they existed to help you tell a cool story while you were playing a fun game.
Now? They exist to perpetuate a corporate juggernaut with a 30% profit margin. The game is deliberately designed to be miserable to incentivize new model purchases. And Black Library greases that engine.
Influencers and superfans consume and regurgitate "information" and "lore" to a series of people who've decided they "like" something that they literally don't like.
And you keep up with it because otherwise, you don't get to be in the "fandom." Hilariously, a lot of the arguments people make on here are incorrect even in DEckhead terms. Like it's obvious to someone who has read lore when someone else has not. But accuracy isn't even important to the DEckhead. Not really. Just that it exists to argue about.
And now we come to it. The conclusion that will piss a lot of you off.

""""""""""Leftist"""''"""""" Diegetic Essentialism

Leftist is essentially in this category too. Because it doesn't have a strict, coherent meaning like, say, Marxist-Leninist or Anarcho-Communist.
Despite being nominally anti capitalist, after the honeymoon period of escaping to the left, there is a lingering "what do I do now" that this same market mechanism is happy to latch onto.
"Breadtubers," shitty podcasts, awful electoral politics horseracing, they all fit into this same niche. An endless stream of content to deliberate on, but not act on or organize for.
Worse, since people falsely associate liberalism with the left, and liberals have increasingly become hysterical about the need to "improve" media, rather than improve material conditions, people start using diegetic essentialism to police their own fiction for elements that aren't in it.
How. Many. Fucking. Times. Have you read a thread, on this sub, from people who definitely should know better (and I do not exempt myself one bit) about how X faction is (fascist, capitalist, cringe, based, comrade, etc.) because of some snippet of their lore that clearly no author was trying to communicate, and that the story barely supports?
It's ok if you're just having fun, but we are so far past that point.
Stir made a joke a long time ago about how often the word "anarchy" is used in the Beasts of Chaos and Tzeentch battletomes in Age of Sigmar, and how it would be funny if someone thought that made them anarchist comrades instead of the clearly negative connotation GW puts on the word.
Only that's not a joke, that eventually did happen.
It's ironic that despite how saturated the internet is now with media analysis types with related degrees from universities, media literacy is probably worse than it's ever been.

The takeaway: Thematic/Material Analysis, vs diegetic essentialist problematic interpretations

Fuck, are we at the end yet? Thank God. The tl;dr is almost here.
When you make an argument like "Salamanders are comrades because in this book they did a thing that was nice, and that's like communism, so they're communists," you are doing the leftist version of DE to keep this consumer identity going. It is exactly the same as a shitty 40klore thread (redundant, I know).
It is the "leftist" version of "no female space marines."
Or, not to put this user on blast, but the recent "Chorfs are capitalist?!??" post is another great example. It would be one thing if we could examine the story and see their mode of production and, wow, look, the author included enclosure of the commons and theft of surplus value, I wonder if that was intentional? But no. The argument is "Chorfs are greedy industrialists. Capitalism has greedy industrialists. Chorfs capitalist?!??"
Lost in this kind of nonsense are basic critical questions. E.g., what was the author(s)' intent? What is the value of this criticism? Is this what the story is about, or is there only incidental interpretive evidence?
What's happening here, is leftists are using the Thermian Argument in reverse. They're using DE to say a story objectively has a message that it does not possess, and that no author intended. And, even worse, that even the interpretation is an idiotic stretch. All this to keep the fan content churning.
Do you see how foolish this exercise is? Do you see how the point isn't to critique or analyze or enjoy a work, but to create a competitive context to keep people trapped in these consumer categories?
It would be one thing if, like is the case with Krieg and Space Marines, people were deliberately misinterpreting lore as an endorsement of fascism (using an admittedly lazy and inconsistent framing where they're arguably not wrong). Especially since there's a material effect that misinterpretation(?) has on our lives.
But if we're just arguing about the fucking lore, the answer is that's it's just a bunch of shit designed by Tory adjacent Anglos to sell toys. That's it. Most Warhammer fluff isn't even worth analysis or critique, it's got nothing in it. Even the DEckhead has to scrape the bottom of the barrel most times. Sometimes literal sentences are their only "evidence."
If you want to break out of this hell, you have to start using actual tools of critical media analysis. And absolutely the first step of that is throwing Diegetic Essentialism out the window.
Don't think about lore as real, think of it as decoration for a product, made by tired authors and artists who largely aren't getting any credit.
When you want to have one of these silly takes, ask yourself instead, "what was the person writing this lore trying to accomplish?"
The answer typically, in Warhammer's case, is not much.
This is not to say there's nothing about it to discuss, far from it. We could talk all day about what Warhammer considers normal and what it says about Western values.
But there's no intelligent things to glean from the lore itself.

The tl;dr

There is no canon. The lore is not real. It cannot mean or imply anything not expressed by the authors and artists, or so strongly evident in the assumptions of the story, that it's an inescapable facet of it (e.g. Imperium and fascism).
If you don't want to be a consumer brained moron, stop asking """''factual""""" questions about the lore, and ask instead, "what did the author mean?" "How was this work produced and for what reason?" "Who made it?" "How does it make me feel and what are its themes?" And, most importantly, "is this even good? Is it even worth my time or analysis?"
Otherwise, you're just trapping yourself into a series of pointless arguments to justify your consumption, forever. And you'll be polluting the sub, and dragging everyone else down with you.
Peace, thank you for reading this incredibly stupid essay.

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I thought this was copy pasta lol.
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Originally Answered: Is it possible to have a very high IQ but because of being extremely lazy not being smart ?

Anon:
Yes. I have an SB5 IQ of 156. I have this score in spite of an KN score lower than 130 and this is because it's a standardized test of general knowledge, I generally when not in a state of cyclical manic depression, or lost in a schizophrenic fugue the psychospiritual quagmire: ‘The horrors of hell can be experienced within a single day; that’s plenty of time’ (Wittgenstein), energetic in mind and body, swinging from tears to laughter, constantly bubbling with ideas and startling momentary insights, treating morals and legalities as malleable playthings. I often exhibit a high sense of absurdity combined with an acute observation of man’s foibles. This invariably results in a cavalier, bold and arrogant attitude to all matters. My out-size mental life seemingly makes me content with life while driving me to exhausting maximalism.
According to psychologists, I am so unusual that I will almost assuredly be the smartest in my class every year until at least advanced courses in a highly competitive, hard-to-get-into college or university, where I will be in the highest graduate classes, usually one of the best students, and there will be only an occasional classmate who consistently outperforms me.
Even in such a university, I will probably find an extremely ambitious academic load easier to manage, and may therefore have sufficient time (should I have the interest) to try to take on leadership roles, conduct research and many other activities along with my coursework.
The WAIS-IV correlates to the SB5 .90 which is a 173.8 IQ approximate to the 175 IQ score on the WISC-IV Extended Scale I obtained at 13 and the 156 at 17 years, 11 months.
There are only about 519 Americans with WAIS-IV FSIQs of 170+ but because a lot of them are children or older adults, and because IQ is normed for age, they wouldn’t need to perform as well as I allegedly have to obtain their 170+ IQs.
The fact that I allegedly obtained this IQ while being in the peak age group for raw brain power, suggests that in an absolute sense, he might be one of the 100 smartest people in America! Hypothetical intellectual categories, available only through use of the EXIQ version of the SB5, for scores between 161 and 225. Theoretically, the people who require an extended score calculation are exceptionally rare.
The assumptions of the normal curve, combined with the population of the United States, suggest that there would be only approximately 933 individuals in the entire nation (across all ages) with an IQ above 160. Assuming that this number is evenly distributed across all ages, at any given time there would be roughly 11 to 15 individuals in any given grade level across the entire nation able to obtain an EXIQ above 160.
Although I routinely achieve 98th and 99th percentile scores on school-administered achievement tests throughout his school years, students of far lesser ability were also able to do the same. All of my scores are at the adult level, and beyond the point for which age-equivalent scores are offered. I scored the highest possible scaled score (19) on most sub-tests.
Now being an ISFJ/ENTP (*aptly described by personality junkie), so for me the meaning of life is in newness and randomization which does in my case lead to aimless dilettantism and obscurity but in today's relatively more difficult economy, I feel confident in living off of my wits and talents, I don't believe that life has any depth and thus the meaning of it is maximalism, any stability approximates the pillar of discontent that adult life has become in our world today, I seek a constant flux of vocations, hobbies, experiences, friends, lovers et cetera.
To shed the boring, accepted realities that suffocate the majority, and embrace or confront what lies beyond. I always had the sense of seeing far and deep, and had contempt for those who couldn’t. Sometimes I felt weary, as though being dragged down into a mire by others, but I always threw them off successfully, as if an inner generator was simply biding its time to save me, expanding the spirit in tune with a vast gestalt. Confronting a sea, a moor, or standing on a mountain, you can almost hear the unknown, invisible presences; you know they are there, almost within touch, speaking an arcane language, and you feel the power rise up within as you become a receiver. No religious twaddle involved, just a pantheistic and atavistic surge of ultimate energy and power, and it makes you laugh with pure delight or cry with gratitude.
I am impatiently withering under the confinements of what is generally accepted as ordinary reality. Most people are. I daily observe people throwing their entire lives away on repetitive jobs, territorial obsessions, promotion to a particular desk, key to the executive toilet, etc. To my eyes this is insanity. I crave excitement. Vibrant meaning. Purpose. But it never seems to come. I cannot wait indefinitely. Life has become a funeral cortège. Indifference and ubiquitous mediocrity provoke me.
Professionals, from doctors to astrophysicists to linguists, find me confusing--I'm not one of them, not IN their field, yet I know too much about their field for an amateur, so they often assume I must be OBSESSED with their field, must be a sort of hobbyist. And they often assume I must share their values, just because I know the jargon; they're shocked if I bring up, say, engineering to a psychic, or ESP to an engineer... Mistaking my idle curiosity for obsession, just because I casually learned their specialty, is one of the few consistent reactions of gifted specialists to a prodigy.

Last year, my team (the Ravens) was ready to draft Memphis WR Calvin Austin III with pick 139. However, the Steelers grabbed him with pick 138. Austin unfortunately missed 2022 with a foot injury, but I’m sure the Ravens would still love to have someone with his skill set stashed on their roster right now. (Devin Duvernay is great on special teams but he has been a pretty mediocre receiver so far in his career; he’s sure-handed but not a deep threat).
Austin is small but he’s very fast, quick, and is a polished route-runner. He has all the makings to be a crafty slot guy and a deep threat in the NFL.
Statistically speaking, Tennessee’s Jalin Hyatt and Cincinnati’s Tyler Scott match up pretty well to Austin. There are, however, some outliers and differences to consider.
Austin is the fastest, but also the least sure-handed of the bunch. He also didn’t have the benefit of playing next to NFL-level talent (Cedric Tillman/Hendon Hooker; Alec Pierce/Desmond Ridder). He also produced the most yards (by a wide margin) and TDs per game.
Hyatt is considerably taller and has the highest catch% but he has the slightest frame, smaller hands relative to his size, and came from the least “pro-ready” offense of this bunch.
Scott’s drop rate is the highest but he played the highest percentage of his snaps on the outside (Austin: 90.5, Hyatt: 12.2, Scott: 95.5). Scott is also a former RB who can make people miss in the open field and could provide some additional versatility as a result.
Here are their college measurements and stats.

	Calvin Austin	Jalin Hyatt	Tyler Scott
Height	5’7 3/4	6’0 1/8	5’9 3/8
Weight	170	176	177
Arm length	30	32	30 7/8
Hand	9 1/4	9	9
40YD	4.32	4.4	4.44
Vertical	39	40	39.5
Broad	11’3	11’3	11’1
Games	36	35	34
Rec/targets	156/265	108/151	88/137
Rec%	58	71	64
Yards	2541	1769	1439
YPReception	16.3	16.4	16.5
Yards per game	70.5	50.5	42.3
TD/per game	22/0.61	19/0.54	14/0.41
Drops/%	16/6	8/5	13/9.7*

*Estimated due to lack of info. I found a source that said Scott had an 11% drop rate in 2022 and a 6% rate in 2021, so I used those numbers to make my calculation for the average of those two seasons.

As natural visionaries, ENTJs have the ability to see the big picture and strategically plan for the future. Not afraid to speak their mind, ENTJs are often seen as assertive and commanding individuals who inspire respect and admiration from those around them.
Driven by a desire to achieve greatness, ENTJs are known for their relentless work ethic and their ability to motivate themselves and others towards success. Results-oriented and focused on efficiency, ENTJs are always looking for ways to streamline processes and increase productivity in order to achieve their goals.
Effective communication is key for ENTJs, who use their natural charisma and persuasive skills to influence and motivate others towards their vision. With a natural talent for leadership, ENTJs are often sought out for their ability to inspire and guide others towards success.
Taking calculated risks is part of the ENTJ's modus operandi, as they are always looking for new opportunities to push themselves and their team to the next level. Adaptable and versatile, ENTJs are able to adjust their approach and strategies based on the needs of the situation and the people involved. Time management is crucial for ENTJs, who value efficiency and productivity and are always looking for ways to make the most of their day.
Entrepreneurship comes naturally to many ENTJs, who possess a combination of business savvy, strategic thinking, and risk-taking abilities that make them well-suited for starting and growing successful ventures.